0:00:00 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language. One of my guest tonight
0:00:04 > 0:00:08starred in the new Disney video about characters who live in a
0:00:08 > 0:00:18video game. What would that be like? I have got to concentrate and
0:00:18 > 0:00:37
0:00:37 > 0:00:41dodge these lightening bolts! Hello! Hello!
0:00:41 > 0:00:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello everybody. Good evening.
0:00:47 > 0:00:57Welcome one and all. A great line- up for you tonne. It is a good
0:00:57 > 0:00:59
0:00:59 > 0:01:00looking sofa tonight. Yes, it will be me letting it down!
0:01:00 > 0:01:02LAUGHTER Who have we got? We have got
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Hollywood A-lister, Mark Wahlberg is here, ladies and gentlemen.
0:01:04 > 0:01:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I know. I know.
0:01:09 > 0:01:16Acting superstar, Michael Fassbender is on the show! I know!,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19the comic, Sarah Silverman is here. APPLAUSE
0:01:19 > 0:01:29Plus we've got music from BRIT Award nominee, Laura Mvula. Yes, we
0:01:29 > 0:01:31have. APPLAUSE
0:01:32 > 0:01:35A huge welcome to my fellow fellow Irishman, Michael Fassbender. He is
0:01:35 > 0:01:45half Irish and half German. Yes, what is it about Germany that the
0:01:45 > 0:01:46
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Irish find so appealing? What is LAUGHTER
0:01:48 > 0:01:55Did you remember the nuts? And Sarah Silverman is here. Not only a
0:01:55 > 0:02:00brilliant comedian, she is one of the stars of the new Disney film,
0:02:00 > 0:02:06Wreck-it Ralph. It is about video characters who comes to life.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Remember Tomb Raider, Super Mario and that time they combined Grand
0:02:09 > 0:02:16Theft Auto with Sonic the Hedgehog, do you remember that? It was quite
0:02:16 > 0:02:19a short film! LAUGHTER
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Hey, it is great to have Mark Wahlberg back on the show. Did you
0:02:22 > 0:02:25all see Ted? Where he lives with a foul-mouthed teddy bear and even
0:02:25 > 0:02:31though it was a comedy they wanted to make sure the teddy bear didn't
0:02:31 > 0:02:37do anything a real bear wouldn't do. Here is Ted drinking and hear is a
0:02:37 > 0:02:47-- here a bear drinking. LAUGHTER
0:02:47 > 0:02:52
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Here is Ted going to the toilet and here is a bear going to the toilet!
0:02:53 > 0:02:56LAUGHTER That's incredible, isn't it? Here
0:02:56 > 0:03:06is Ted being per miss cueious and here is a bear being pro promiscus.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09
0:03:09 > 0:03:19First, Michael Fassbender. You are very welcome. Have a seat. It is
0:03:19 > 0:03:20
0:03:20 > 0:03:24Sarah Silverman. There she is. Oh. I am so glood so glad to meet you.
0:03:24 > 0:03:30It is Mark Wahlberg. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:30 > 0:03:34Hello, sir. It is so nice to see you again. Sit down. Sit down. Sit
0:03:34 > 0:03:37down. APPLAUSE
0:03:37 > 0:03:41Very nice to see you all. How are you? I'm really well. Are you all
0:03:41 > 0:03:51well? I feel really good because you have a security blanket right
0:03:51 > 0:03:51
0:03:51 > 0:03:53here. You are funny, but she is really funny!
0:03:53 > 0:03:55LAUGHTER Look at you all fashioned up?
0:03:55 > 0:04:00wearing fashion tights. No, they are fashion tights. I have
0:04:00 > 0:04:05been need to go get thigh -- needing to get my thighs out
0:04:05 > 0:04:07recently. I love your tights!
0:04:07 > 0:04:13LAUGHTER This started backstage. Do you cut
0:04:13 > 0:04:23your own hair? What the patches? What's going on with this? It is
0:04:23 > 0:04:24
0:04:24 > 0:04:30from... Have you heard of where you drill little holes in your head to
0:04:30 > 0:04:33release pressure. Yes. That's what you have? Is that true? I feel like
0:04:33 > 0:04:43we are on a plane. LAUGHTER
0:04:43 > 0:04:47
0:04:47 > 0:04:48There is different conversations occurring.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51LAUGHTER Have you had your meal? What are
0:04:51 > 0:04:53you watching? That's what happens when you get people to drink
0:04:53 > 0:05:02alcohol and come on a show. That's a social thing.
0:05:02 > 0:05:08I don't drink. It is a recipe for disaster. That vodka... We must
0:05:08 > 0:05:13talk about Mark, your new movie, you produced it. You star in it. It
0:05:13 > 0:05:18is called Broken City and it opens on 1st March, you got a great cast
0:05:18 > 0:05:25together? Well, we have Russell Crowe playing a corrupt mayor, a
0:05:25 > 0:05:29larger than life crime figure who is very charismatic and Kath lin
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Zeta-Jones -- Catherine Zeta-Jones plays his wife. So I start to
0:05:34 > 0:05:37investigate her and I start to unravel all this corruption and we
0:05:38 > 0:05:46have the great character actors like Jeffrey Wright and I offered
0:05:46 > 0:05:52the part of my character to Michael, but he passed!
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Awkward! Awkward! There is so much energy right now. I had to play the
0:05:55 > 0:05:59part myself. I went in thinking he was going to
0:05:59 > 0:06:05be a cop story, crime thing, but it is more of a political thriller,
0:06:05 > 0:06:10would you say? Well, the political backdrop. More More often than not
0:06:10 > 0:06:14the system fails us, the political system. The fact that I got away
0:06:14 > 0:06:18with a lot of things in real life that I shouldn't have and I get to
0:06:18 > 0:06:22be a movie star and it is a problem. It is a problem. Now, I turn my
0:06:22 > 0:06:25life around and I have done the right thing, but many people have
0:06:25 > 0:06:30been wrongfully convicted and the system is flawed so we need to
0:06:30 > 0:06:34figure that out and in our elected officials more than not are
0:06:34 > 0:06:40corrupted by power and enticed by money and that's a situation that
0:06:40 > 0:06:45we need to deal with. We have got a clip. This is you and
0:06:45 > 0:06:55rustle Crow as the mayor and the tables are about to be turned.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00can I do for you? I want to know why you hired me. I hired you to
0:07:00 > 0:07:06investigate my wife. Investigate her for what? For not minuting her
0:07:06 > 0:07:15own business as for one. But having a big mouth and asking too many
0:07:15 > 0:07:20questions is for one. You better be careful following her. I might have
0:07:20 > 0:07:27to hire someone to investigate you. You have got it all worked out.
0:07:27 > 0:07:37That's why people keep electing me. So it is all for the city?
0:07:37 > 0:07:40
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Everything I do is for this city. I chose you because I own you.
0:07:42 > 0:07:51APPLAUSE That was the exciting incident.
0:07:51 > 0:07:59Oh, it all kicks off. It is a throw back to the great 70s characters
0:07:59 > 0:08:02like China Town. James Cagney and Steve McQueen and these great ugly
0:08:02 > 0:08:08ugly character actors which made me feel confident and the possibility
0:08:08 > 0:08:13that I could be one of those guys. They looked my dad and reminded me
0:08:13 > 0:08:17of my dad, kind of short, a little weird. But had some bulls that
0:08:17 > 0:08:21would stand up for the every man. So there is more kind of ugly
0:08:21 > 0:08:27little little weird people in the world than there are tall good
0:08:27 > 0:08:30looking people like Michael Fassbender. Those people root for
0:08:30 > 0:08:34me hence the fact that I get to star in the movie.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Have your kids seen any of your films? They have seen moderate
0:08:38 > 0:08:46pieces like the Disney football movie that I did and the other guys,
0:08:46 > 0:08:51but my son did see a piece of Transformers. Have you finished
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Transformers? He watched the one that is preceded our movie. We're
0:08:55 > 0:09:05playing football in our theatre and my youngest son who is four years
0:09:05 > 0:09:09old, throws the football down and goes, "Fucking shit." he got
0:09:09 > 0:09:13stopped for the touch down, it made sense what he said, but I was like,
0:09:13 > 0:09:19"Why did you say that? Get over here. I want to wash your mouth out
0:09:19 > 0:09:24with soap soap." He wants to smile because he knows he made daddy
0:09:24 > 0:09:31proud. I said, "Get over here. Where did you hear that from?" He
0:09:31 > 0:09:37looks at me and Says, "Transformers." That's how we pay
0:09:37 > 0:09:44the bills, kid. Was it a proud moment when you
0:09:44 > 0:09:50introduced them to the Rock Johnson? They are huge fans of
0:09:50 > 0:09:54wrestling. This is the Michael Payne movie. I'm like, "Dude, you
0:09:54 > 0:10:00have got to do me a favour. My kids are huge fans, can you please come
0:10:01 > 0:10:05over and say hi?" He is like, "I would love to. I love kids. I have
0:10:05 > 0:10:09a daughter." He comes over. He comes in the trailer. They are all
0:10:09 > 0:10:13being shy. They are hiding in the bathroom and he is like, "Where are
0:10:14 > 0:10:21your kids?" I was like, "They are over there." He goes, "Guys come on
0:10:21 > 0:10:25out. Give me a high five." My youngest kid punches him in the
0:10:25 > 0:10:30nuts as hard as he can. The youngest one, as hard as he can.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34Wow. He is like, "What's wrong with this
0:10:34 > 0:10:41kid? He needs some counselling." That's what he does. My son scored
0:10:41 > 0:10:47a basket, my oldest son scored a basket at a basketball last week
0:10:47 > 0:10:52and my son's idea of of celebrating was turning around and punching me
0:10:52 > 0:10:58in the nuts! That's what he does. You need to get him out of that
0:10:58 > 0:11:02habit. Did they understand why they couldn't see the lovely teddy bear
0:11:02 > 0:11:05film? Absolutely not. They think, "Daddy,
0:11:05 > 0:11:10there is a movie where you and the daddy bear, you are you are
0:11:10 > 0:11:15laughing and having fun. I can see this." Ted is inappropriate and my
0:11:15 > 0:11:19wife is very conservative. I am thinking the boys, eight and nine,
0:11:19 > 0:11:24we will show them the movie and she is like 24, 25. Never show the
0:11:24 > 0:11:32daughters which I agree. Was Ted set in Boston because you
0:11:32 > 0:11:37liked doingted Boston Dunkirk -- doing the Boston accent? No, there
0:11:37 > 0:11:41were many jokes that offended me and my family. I liked Seth and I
0:11:41 > 0:11:46liked it. I heard he is good at voice. If he is good at voices, I
0:11:46 > 0:11:52want to challenge you. Oh shit.
0:11:52 > 0:11:58I want to challenge you to a big dick contest. I will challenge you
0:11:58 > 0:12:05to a voice contest. Sarah is my back-up.
0:12:05 > 0:12:12She is She is is the real deal. Sarah knows her Boston voices.
0:12:12 > 0:12:22I can do my dad. I don't want to interrupt this thing. High dad had
0:12:22 > 0:12:25
0:12:25 > 0:12:27a retail store, discount women's clothing store... You smell so good.
0:12:27 > 0:12:35LAUGHTER He did his own radio ads. He would
0:12:36 > 0:12:40go, "When I see the prices at the mallI just want to vomit." Where is
0:12:40 > 0:12:50this competition? They asked me if I could do Ted's voice? It is not
0:12:50 > 0:12:53
0:12:53 > 0:12:57fair. It is like a hyped up version of the Boston accent. Is. Control
0:12:57 > 0:13:01your mind. You don't just do do voices, you do
0:13:01 > 0:13:08noises. He is like the guy from the
0:13:08 > 0:13:18Beverley Hills Police Academy. not as good as that guy.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22
0:13:22 > 0:13:32What can you do? HE WHISTLES
0:13:32 > 0:13:41
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Can you do machinery? I can do a sin is a thizer -- synthesizer!
0:13:44 > 0:13:54LAUGHTER I played racket ball... I have got
0:13:54 > 0:14:03
0:14:03 > 0:14:06a 198 0s silencer! LAUGHTER
0:14:06 > 0:14:11Your dad, does he speak with a German accent? No, with just make
0:14:11 > 0:14:14noises to each other! LAUGHTER
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Your dad really follows your career, doesn't he? He tells me what I'm
0:14:17 > 0:14:19doing before I know what I'm doing. He has got me on Google Earth which
0:14:19 > 0:14:23is very frustrating. It is kind of worrying. It is sweet and creepy at
0:14:23 > 0:14:29the same time. So yeah, he is like,, "I hear you
0:14:29 > 0:14:38are going to be doing this film next." He goes, "I don't like your
0:14:38 > 0:14:40new haircut.". He must find out bizarre things about you? Yes.
0:14:40 > 0:14:47LAUGHTER Does he know you were naked in that
0:14:47 > 0:14:57movie? No, I kept that secret! LAUGHTER
0:14:57 > 0:14:57
0:14:57 > 0:14:59I can see your penis in front of my face.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01LAUGHTER Michael, what was going on, you
0:15:02 > 0:15:02thought it was a good idea to invite your parents to the premiere
0:15:02 > 0:15:05of Shame. LAUGHTER
0:15:05 > 0:15:14I know, yeah. How did that go? Well, you know, my mother didn't
0:15:14 > 0:15:17end up turning up so that was OK. LAUGHTER
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Mum went and checked it out I don't know, when it came out in Tralee
0:15:20 > 0:15:26actually, I think. Nice, a day of it. She got all her
0:15:26 > 0:15:31friends together. Go and see Michael's new film.
0:15:31 > 0:15:36can see it now. They are opened minded people.
0:15:37 > 0:15:42Your penis had its own Twitter account and George Clooney talking
0:15:43 > 0:15:46about it at the Golden Globes, I mean that's weird? It is kind of,
0:15:46 > 0:15:51just sort of, I guess, sort of reflects how our relationship with
0:15:51 > 0:15:58that is. You know, people are still kind of awkward about it and
0:15:58 > 0:16:02uncomfortable. LAUGHTER
0:16:02 > 0:16:10You have got everything out. You let it all hang out in... I did,
0:16:10 > 0:16:15yeah, I did. You did. Was it Take This Waltz with Michelle Williams?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18It wasn't sexual. It was very non- sexual because women on a daily
0:16:18 > 0:16:22basis are naked around each other. You are changing. You are getting
0:16:22 > 0:16:26clothes on. One is in the tub. And one is reading a magazine, it is a
0:16:26 > 0:16:32natural thing, but you never see that reflected in movies, it is
0:16:32 > 0:16:37only in a sexual way with lightening and you know, so...
0:16:37 > 0:16:42it a dormitory or something? naked all the time. Today, I was
0:16:42 > 0:16:47naked. In the rest room and the dressing
0:16:47 > 0:16:57room and sull of a sudden -- all of a sudden everyone is naked.
0:16:57 > 0:17:03
0:17:03 > 0:17:06I'm just having a good time. APPLAUSE
0:17:06 > 0:17:09I turn to Sarah Silverman because I know a lot about you because I have
0:17:09 > 0:17:15read the Bed Wetter. It is still available. Do books stop being
0:17:15 > 0:17:19available. Yeah, they do.
0:17:19 > 0:17:27Classics? This book will be around forever, but what is weird about
0:17:27 > 0:17:33this book, it seems unlikely, but this is what got you your part in
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Wreck-it Ralph? That's true. The director read the book and
0:17:36 > 0:17:46thought she is perfect as a a cartoon character? That's right.
0:17:46 > 0:17:46
0:17:46 > 0:17:52You have seen the movie how many times? Ten and about 20 on bootleg.
0:17:52 > 0:18:02My kids love the movie. I have two boys and two girls and and she
0:18:02 > 0:18:09
0:18:09 > 0:18:19changed my life! LAUGHTER
0:18:19 > 0:18:22
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Don't be left out. It is like a weird foreign film!
0:18:23 > 0:18:26LAUGHTER There will be subtitles in a minute
0:18:26 > 0:18:33now and I'm the inn keeper I must top up your glasses and
0:18:33 > 0:18:36leave! The movie, Wreck-it Ralph is written around you? Kind of, I feel
0:18:36 > 0:18:41cocky saying that. But it is true? It is a nine-year-
0:18:41 > 0:18:49old girl by the way. Just so people know what we are talking about.
0:18:49 > 0:18:55Let's watch a clip. This is Wreck- it Ralph. He left your game and he
0:18:55 > 0:19:05entered your game. The other kids won't let me race because they say
0:19:05 > 0:19:11
0:19:11 > 0:19:16I am a glitch. And And Ralph is causing havoc.
0:19:16 > 0:19:24Those girls won't let you race. is a bad guy, but he wants to be
0:19:24 > 0:19:29good. He is flawed. He is damaged. He
0:19:29 > 0:19:33wants your attention. He wants a broken city. Which I saw ten times
0:19:33 > 0:19:38with my kids. Here is the clip. Here is the clip. Here it is.
0:19:38 > 0:19:45What's your name? Ralph. Wreck-it Ralph. You are not from here, are
0:19:45 > 0:19:49you? I'm not from right in this area. I'm doing work? What kind of
0:19:49 > 0:19:56work? Routine candy tree trimming. You want to stand back. This area
0:19:56 > 0:20:06is closed while we are trimming. Who is we? The candy tree
0:20:06 > 0:20:09
0:20:09 > 0:20:18department. Hey, are you a a hobo? No,, but I
0:20:18 > 0:20:26am busy. What is that, I didn't hear you? Your breath makes me ears
0:20:26 > 0:20:31numb. You're Mimicking me. This conversation is rude. I wouldn't
0:20:31 > 0:20:41grab that branch if I was you. I am from the candy tree department
0:20:41 > 0:20:44
0:20:44 > 0:20:51so I know... Why are your hands so freakish big? I don't know. Why are
0:20:51 > 0:21:00you so so freakishly annoying? Because it is you. It is you.
0:21:00 > 0:21:05The good thing about big movies, you get get get merchandise and
0:21:05 > 0:21:15Sarah is an adorable doll. It is quite nice, isn't it? It is nice
0:21:15 > 0:21:17
0:21:17 > 0:21:25and it speaks. It says things. Hello. Did you really do it? Yeah.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30Tom Hanks gets his brother to do the Woody doll. My brother does my
0:21:30 > 0:21:39show! What are you doing girl? took me two seconds.
0:21:39 > 0:21:47While I was in the shop, it is all tax deductable. How cute is that?
0:21:47 > 0:21:57Also, how expensive is that? He speaks too. Hey Johnny, are you
0:21:57 > 0:21:58
0:21:58 > 0:22:06having a beer? OK, so I will start with her. Hello. I'm adorable.
0:22:06 > 0:22:16OK, that's a good start to a conversation for him.
0:22:16 > 0:22:16
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Come here. It is cute. She replies with?
0:22:19 > 0:22:29LAUGHTER Possibly fainted. I know what I
0:22:29 > 0:22:29
0:22:29 > 0:22:39would like to do her. And she replies? I've got a date with
0:22:39 > 0:22:43destiny. Very good. Now, the glitch, it is
0:22:43 > 0:22:49based on your childhood, what was the glitch in your life?
0:22:49 > 0:22:55I think what you saw in the book was that I was a bed wetter into my
0:22:55 > 0:23:00teens and it was humiliating and that was kind of like something I
0:23:00 > 0:23:06thought would be my greatest shame, you know. And then I think the kind
0:23:06 > 0:23:10of the lesson of the movie which is kind of the lesson of the book
0:23:10 > 0:23:13which is something that you think is your biggest down fall,
0:23:13 > 0:23:17something that you think you are going to be ashamed of your whole
0:23:17 > 0:23:27life, if you let it, it can be your super power, you know.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31It is true. Thank you. Tas British audience. They are like,
0:23:31 > 0:23:37"Whatever.". What I liked about it, there are stories in this book that
0:23:37 > 0:23:41could have been someone's childhood trauma, but they are anecdotes like
0:23:41 > 0:23:48the sleep over when that lady came in. Elvis Presley saved my life in
0:23:48 > 0:23:52a way because I was at a sleep over party when I was six or seven and I
0:23:52 > 0:23:58had to borrow pyjamas. I didn't know it was a sleep over and then
0:23:58 > 0:24:03she was like, "It's a sleep over." I went, "I have got to call my mum
0:24:03 > 0:24:08and see." And I was praying she would say no and she said yes. I
0:24:08 > 0:24:14would have to punch myself awake all night to not pee and then I did.
0:24:14 > 0:24:21I feel asleep and I woke up and she had too sexy pyjamas for a six-
0:24:21 > 0:24:24year-old. LAUGHTER
0:24:24 > 0:24:29She gave her daughter curls every day. It was like sexy hair on
0:24:29 > 0:24:34pyjamas and they are drenched. So everyone is getting changed and I'm
0:24:34 > 0:24:44just numb inside. I'm just doing what everyone else is doing and her
0:24:44 > 0:24:54mother walks in and she steps right in my pee pyjamas and can you
0:24:54 > 0:24:58
0:24:58 > 0:25:06imagine... Listen to the nice lady. LAUGHTER
0:25:06 > 0:25:08That's wrong. Don't touch the man there.
0:25:08 > 0:25:18LAUGHTER I was looking for this. You hid it
0:25:18 > 0:25:20
0:25:21 > 0:25:25for me. Sit yourself down. Wow... If you want this. Is this my
0:25:25 > 0:25:30microphone? You can throw it under the sofa. So we are getting to the
0:25:30 > 0:25:35end of this bloody story. We should. We should.
0:25:35 > 0:25:45She stepped in... Can you imagine being a mother and doing this. She
0:25:45 > 0:26:02
0:26:02 > 0:26:03goes, "Who did this?" I'm just like paralysed with fear.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06LAUGHTER Can I finish this story?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09I'm exhausted. LAUGHTER
0:26:09 > 0:26:14Finish the story. Just when I think she is going to kill me, the
0:26:14 > 0:26:24husband walks in and says, "Elvis Presley died.". You see, we got
0:26:24 > 0:26:26
0:26:26 > 0:26:30there in the end. What are you looking at my tights?
0:26:30 > 0:26:37I wanted to see if your wire was still connected to your mime roe
0:26:37 > 0:26:42phone? -- microphone? There is a lovely scene on your
0:26:42 > 0:26:51grandmother's deathbed. Behave. Behave. This is a good story.
0:26:51 > 0:26:58will keep it tight. LAUGHTER
0:26:58 > 0:27:01You guys are disgusting. Now, I have started doing exercises. My
0:27:01 > 0:27:04grandmother, my nanna was dying. She is on her deathbed and it is
0:27:04 > 0:27:11the kind of thing where she was ready. She said goodbye and every
0:27:11 > 0:27:18time she woke up, she was like scwlth am am -- like, "Am I still
0:27:18 > 0:27:24here?" She opens her eyes and my sister and I are sitting either
0:27:24 > 0:27:30side of her and she looks up and says, "So beautiful." We go, she is
0:27:30 > 0:27:40talking to me. She is talking to me. With her last last breath she was
0:27:40 > 0:27:53
0:27:53 > 0:27:54like, "Laura." LAUGHTER
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Meanwhile, whine meanwhile meanwhile, I am still being host
0:27:57 > 0:28:02over here. Michael Fassbender, a different childhood, you grew up in
0:28:02 > 0:28:05rural Ireland. What is weird, Hollywood comes to call. You had
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Star Wars, didn't you think you were Superman when you were a kid?
0:28:08 > 0:28:14When I was a kid? LAUGHTER
0:28:14 > 0:28:22Yes, I did actually, yeah. High the Superman outfit.
0:28:22 > 0:28:27Did you believe you could fly? had a ringing in my ear one night,
0:28:27 > 0:28:32but I was too tired to get up out of bed.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36There were plenty of kids that thought the same. I had the suit
0:28:36 > 0:28:40and I wanted to take it to the swimming pool and practise. My
0:28:40 > 0:28:43cousin and I had a game where he would be dressed as a civilian
0:28:43 > 0:28:49civilian child, of course, and he would run behind the bush and I
0:28:49 > 0:28:52would come out dressed as Superman. Like the phone box? Yeah, but we
0:28:52 > 0:29:02used a bush! LAUGHTER
0:29:02 > 0:29:03
0:29:03 > 0:29:05It was Ireland. It was simple, happier times.
0:29:05 > 0:29:10LAUGHTER And Clark Kent ran behind a bush.
0:29:10 > 0:29:17How old were you when you drebg add stage version of -- directed a
0:29:18 > 0:29:20stage version of Reservoir Dogs? You were in it as well? Yes, I
0:29:20 > 0:29:25managed to get it together somehowment I didn't really know
0:29:25 > 0:29:27what I was getting myself into. I wanted to do it and it was great,
0:29:27 > 0:29:32yeah. I just organised my friends together.
0:29:32 > 0:29:42Did you go to the butcher's and great real blood? We had a lamb
0:29:42 > 0:29:46chop for the ear which we filleted down to the right size. We stopped
0:29:46 > 0:29:51cars in the street with pretend guns and through flyers in their
0:29:51 > 0:29:57window and if you did that in America, you would get shot.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Did you tell quent quen when you -- Quentin Tarantino when you met him?
0:30:00 > 0:30:10Yes, but I told him it was for charity.
0:30:10 > 0:30:15
0:30:15 > 0:30:22You have done that thing of of going into big studio movies like
0:30:22 > 0:30:26Prometheus and X-Men? If they make enough money they go for another
0:30:26 > 0:30:30one. In X-Men, it was you and James
0:30:30 > 0:30:36McAvoy. You weren't even filming when you and James... You have had
0:30:36 > 0:30:43him here. Oh yeah. He is crazy. He is
0:30:43 > 0:30:46fantastic, but he is crazy. We were sort of mucking around on the golf
0:30:46 > 0:30:52carts that you go on between studios. James jumped behind the
0:30:52 > 0:30:55wheel and he was off. It was one of the faster ones. It goes about 7mph
0:30:55 > 0:31:00as opposed to 5mph. We were weaving through the cars and we were
0:31:00 > 0:31:04heading back to base camp where the trailers and when when he was
0:31:04 > 0:31:10steering, I decided I would do opposite balance with the outside
0:31:10 > 0:31:20tyres were gripping and you get the most grip and take the corn corners
0:31:20 > 0:31:23
0:31:24 > 0:31:27faster. That's a happy tale. You ruined the peeing story and now
0:31:27 > 0:31:36you are going to ruin the golf story.
0:31:36 > 0:31:43I apologised. I napped... He is atrocious. So you are on the golf
0:31:43 > 0:31:47cart. And you and James McAvoy enter twined? Through his driving.
0:31:47 > 0:31:57He was the driver and I was counterbalancing at the back and as
0:31:57 > 0:31:57
0:31:57 > 0:32:00I have said said already if you were listening, Mark. So anyway, we
0:32:00 > 0:32:05went flying into the base camp and the wheels dug in too much so we
0:32:05 > 0:32:09took a swerve to the left and crashed into the back of a Lexus
0:32:09 > 0:32:13and he went flying out of the car and I went flying over the back and
0:32:13 > 0:32:18ended up where he was sitting and I got the blame for everything!
0:32:18 > 0:32:22Twins. Twins were born on the sidewalk. That was a separate
0:32:22 > 0:32:32incident. I don't know what chateau that red
0:32:32 > 0:32:40
0:32:40 > 0:32:42wine came from, but my god... APPLAUSE
0:32:42 > 0:32:45Somewhere out the back there is Laura Mvula who has to sing a song
0:32:45 > 0:32:47and she is thinking, "When am I coming on?" This is all very funny.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50I have to sing a song. Who? LAUGHTER
0:32:50 > 0:32:57You will meet her shortly. Tas lovely -- it is a lovely song.
0:32:57 > 0:33:03Don't join in! Now this young singer is tipped for
0:33:03 > 0:33:10greatness in 2013. Her debut album comes out next month and forming
0:33:11 > 0:33:20her -- performing her new single, green Green Garden, please welcome
0:33:21 > 0:33:21
0:33:21 > 0:33:25# Take me outside # Sit in the green garden
0:33:25 > 0:33:30# Nobody out there # But its soaking now
0:33:30 > 0:33:40# Bathe in the sunlight # Don't mind if rain falls
0:33:40 > 0:33:43
0:33:44 > 0:33:48# Take me outside # Sit in the green garden
0:33:48 > 0:33:54# And I'll fly on the wings of a butterfly
0:33:54 > 0:34:03# High as a tree top and down again # Putting my bag down
0:34:03 > 0:34:13# Taking my shoes off # Walking a carpet of green velvet
0:34:13 > 0:34:14
0:34:14 > 0:34:24# Dance in my garden like we used # Dance in my garden like we used
0:34:24 > 0:34:24
0:34:24 > 0:34:29# Take me outside # Sit in the green garden
0:34:29 > 0:34:33# Nobody out there # But its soaking now
0:34:33 > 0:34:43# Bathe in the sunlight # Don't mind if rain falls
0:34:43 > 0:34:55
0:34:55 > 0:35:00# Take me outside # Sit in the green garden
0:35:00 > 0:35:05# And I'll fly on the wings of a butterfly
0:35:05 > 0:35:09# High as a tree top and down down again
0:35:10 > 0:35:16# Putting my bag down # Taking my shoes off
0:35:17 > 0:35:26# Walking a carpet of green velvet # Dance in my garden like we used
0:35:27 > 0:35:34
0:35:34 > 0:35:41# Dance in my garden like we used # I know wherever you go
0:35:41 > 0:35:51# Wherever you take me, I'll go # I know wherever you go
0:35:51 > 0:35:52
0:35:52 > 0:36:01# Wherever you take me, I'll go # I know wherever you go,
0:36:01 > 0:36:09# Wherever you take me, I'll go # I know wherever you go
0:36:09 > 0:36:18# Wherever you take me, I'll go # I know wherever you go
0:36:18 > 0:36:28# Wherever you take me, I'll go # I know wherever you go
0:36:28 > 0:36:40
0:36:40 > 0:36:42APPLAUSE Gorgeous. Come and join me.
0:36:42 > 0:36:51APPLAUSE Absolutely stunning. Laura Mvula,
0:36:51 > 0:37:01everybody. Michael, Sarah, that's Mark down
0:37:01 > 0:37:03
0:37:03 > 0:37:05the end there. Steady. Steady. LAUGHTER
0:37:05 > 0:37:10Now, I can't believe it, is it true, that's your first TV performance?
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Yes. You are as cool as a cucumber.
0:37:13 > 0:37:20APPLAUSE It is such a pretty song. I loved
0:37:20 > 0:37:27the last single She as well and this new album is out on the 4th
0:37:27 > 0:37:36March Arthe Green -- and the Green Garren is on the -- garden is on
0:37:36 > 0:37:41the 4th February. -- 24th February. We are looking for a young emy
0:37:41 > 0:37:49Sandy -- Emily Sandy, we got her. We got her. You have You have made
0:37:49 > 0:37:59it now. Really, OK? You have made it. Depressing, isn't it? You
0:37:59 > 0:38:02
0:38:02 > 0:38:04dreamt so big. This is it! LAUGHTER
0:38:04 > 0:38:07But like everybody, you were a resiptionist and -- receptionist
0:38:07 > 0:38:10and you decided to be a music supply teacher? I didn't quite
0:38:10 > 0:38:12decide like that. I kind of fell into it. That sounds bad... But you
0:38:12 > 0:38:20thought you would enjoy it because it would combine music with helping
0:38:20 > 0:38:21children. And it was a great challenge.
0:38:21 > 0:38:25LAUGHTER Yeah, I found it pretty tough. I
0:38:25 > 0:38:29wasn't a great teacher, I don't think.
0:38:29 > 0:38:36Will there be kids watching going, "Oh my god, is it that woman we
0:38:36 > 0:38:42used to throw stuff at? Oh, she is a singer.". It must be lovely now.
0:38:42 > 0:38:52Are you planning tours? Yeah. I'm going to tour with Jessie Ware in
0:38:52 > 0:39:02March which is exciting for me... You don't need her! Well, I think
0:39:02 > 0:39:03
0:39:03 > 0:39:07she's amazing. She is all right. No, she is very good. She is very good.
0:39:07 > 0:39:11Listen, congratulation and good luck with the album. I'm going to
0:39:11 > 0:39:15spend money and buy it! Unless it is sen to me!
0:39:15 > 0:39:21-- sent to me! Let's pay a visit to the big red
0:39:21 > 0:39:24chair. Who Have we got? Hello. Oh god. Oh god. It is that time.
0:39:24 > 0:39:30You look lovely, what's your name? Megan.
0:39:30 > 0:39:35Where are you from? From Dublin. This is going to be a short
0:39:35 > 0:39:38section! Brace yourself, Megan. What do you
0:39:38 > 0:39:48do in Dublin? I am a nurse. I live here now.
0:39:48 > 0:39:55
0:39:55 > 0:39:59She is a nurse. You poor thing... Nurse your own wounds. Why is she
0:39:59 > 0:40:05nursing? She is just wasting her nursing time sat there.
0:40:05 > 0:40:12A woman as attractive as she is. They are sick. They are in the
0:40:12 > 0:40:16hospital. They see a attractive young woman. Being some sort of
0:40:16 > 0:40:22like reality star... She sat in a chair. I don't think she is trying
0:40:22 > 0:40:31to be a star. She said she decided to be a
0:40:31 > 0:40:39nurse... She is a nurse. She said four words.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42She said, "I am a nurse." LAUGHTER
0:40:42 > 0:40:50She went out to a club with Prince Harry.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54Bring her back. Bring her back. Thnchts is a. This is a redemption
0:40:54 > 0:41:02story. It is her again. Her again? It is
0:41:02 > 0:41:10the nurse again. She is is back! I'm back.
0:41:10 > 0:41:16I don't like her disposition. is a nurse. Hi. Hi, thanks for that.
0:41:16 > 0:41:25Quick. A couple of months I was at the gym, a full face of make-up
0:41:25 > 0:41:31on... Why you would wear make-up to the gym?
0:41:31 > 0:41:36If you are going to go to the gym, work out and exercise and inspire
0:41:36 > 0:41:39people that need to exercise. It is OK to go to the gym. You are not
0:41:39 > 0:41:44going to compete, wearing make-up to the gym. Bring her back. I like
0:41:44 > 0:41:47her! LAUGHTER
0:41:47 > 0:41:57Give her another shot. OK, we are we are bringing her back.
0:41:57 > 0:42:05We are, we are bringing her back. She is a bit bruised!
0:42:05 > 0:42:11But she is still game. OK, so you were at the gym. So I am at the gym
0:42:11 > 0:42:21in my make-up...? Why? Let it go. Let it go.
0:42:21 > 0:42:21
0:42:21 > 0:42:27So I had my tightest top on and I noticed a group... Bring her back.
0:42:27 > 0:42:28Why would she wear her tightest top with make-up? Why?
0:42:28 > 0:42:36LAUGHTER To look very attractive.
0:42:36 > 0:42:42OK, bring her back. OK. Here she is.
0:42:42 > 0:42:46She has got whiplash now. OK, I'm looking after you! You are wearing
0:42:46 > 0:42:50a tight top and you are covered in make-up. We disagree with all of
0:42:50 > 0:42:55that, but on you? The purpose of all the make-up was in case I met
0:42:55 > 0:42:59Prince Charming at the gym. I I was looking at this really good looking
0:42:59 > 0:43:02group of guys that was standing nearby. I start doing my push-ups
0:43:02 > 0:43:12and I try to look up to give him like a little smile, but what
0:43:12 > 0:43:18
0:43:18 > 0:43:23happened was I fell off the fitness and caused runner onted treadmill,
0:43:23 > 0:43:29to fall on top of me and I turned around the guys had walked away.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32That's all we have time for. Thank you so much to my guest,
0:43:32 > 0:43:34Laura Mvula. APPLAUSE
0:43:34 > 0:43:37Michael Fassbender. APPLAUSE
0:43:37 > 0:43:47Sarah Silverman. APPLAUSE
0:43:47 > 0:43:54