:00:06. > :00:10.THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE
:00:10. > :00:18.Tonight I am joined by one of Britain's favourite chefs. I will
:00:18. > :00:28.need a generous helping of laughter. A sprinkling of surprise.
:00:28. > :00:47.
:00:47. > :00:54.And a huge dollop of crazy excited APPLAUSE
:00:54. > :01:01.Welcome, all. You are very welcome. Lovely to see you all. It's going
:01:01. > :01:06.to be a different kind of show this week. Yes, all my guests are sober!
:01:06. > :01:12.Fingers crossed. Hurt Locker and Avengers star, Jeremy Renner is on
:01:12. > :01:18.the show. APPLAUSE
:01:18. > :01:22.Beautiful British actor, Gemma Arterton is here.
:01:22. > :01:26.The hilarious math Lucus is on the show.
:01:26. > :01:32.The nation's favourite cook, Delia Smith is here.
:01:32. > :01:38.APPLAUSE And we've got music from the
:01:38. > :01:43.brilliant Rita Ora. So cool.
:01:43. > :01:46.It's a big welcome to the show for Gemma Arterton. Look at her there.
:01:46. > :01:56.Even in a simple outfit she looks great. Not the only one of my
:01:56. > :01:57.
:01:57. > :02:03.guests who looks fantastic in a white wrap.
:02:03. > :02:09.Gemma was the Bond girl Strawberry Fields. Oh, I tell you those Bond
:02:09. > :02:13.girls get hotter and hotter. Well, mostly. What I love about the Bond
:02:13. > :02:23.films is the cars. Those two- seaters with with bullet proof
:02:23. > :02:27.
:02:27. > :02:31.glass. I think I know where one is The Pope has resigned. It's not
:02:31. > :02:36.known where the Pope is going to spend his retirement but there is a
:02:36. > :02:41.rumour he is heading off off to Spain.
:02:41. > :02:46.Great to finally have Delia Smith on the show. She's been a
:02:46. > :02:50.bestselling cookery writer since the '70s. Here is one of her first
:02:50. > :02:59.books. Full of ideas, including how do use a pudding bowl to cut your
:02:59. > :03:05.mayor! I especially like Delia's book One
:03:05. > :03:15.is Fun. It's full of meals for one. Here is Delia with the ingredients
:03:15. > :03:16.
:03:16. > :03:20.for an individual beef lasagne. Let's get some guests on.
:03:20. > :03:30.Later we will have music from Rita Ora.
:03:30. > :03:36.
:03:36. > :03:40.First, welcome math welcome Matt She is a fairytale guest, Gemma
:03:40. > :03:50.Arterton. You have changed. It is a different
:03:50. > :04:04.
:04:04. > :04:08.outfit. You two are going to get pissed
:04:08. > :04:14.tonight. No I am drinking diet coke. I am just start to go drink
:04:14. > :04:18.actually. That is what they said last week. They only had one glass
:04:18. > :04:23.of red wine last week and look what happened. Welcome to the show, star
:04:23. > :04:28.of Hurt Locker, Avengers, is this the end of the Hansel and Gretel
:04:28. > :04:31.world tour. Yes. You have been everywhere. Yes. It is hard
:04:31. > :04:35.travelling but you don't sleep on planes very well, do you? No, I
:04:35. > :04:41.don't know if you guys sleep on planes, I can't. There was an
:04:41. > :04:46.incident where I had to fly from London to LA to meet Katherine big
:04:46. > :04:50.low for the Hurt Locker so I had to sleep. I was looking for anybody
:04:50. > :04:57.who had pills. My friend gave me some pills, got a glass of wine,
:04:57. > :05:06.cool. Awesome. Then realised nothing is working as we took off.
:05:06. > :05:16.Something else was happening. It wasn't it was a Viagra. Not only
:05:16. > :05:17.
:05:17. > :05:22.did I not sleep for 12 hours... All the flight attendants had a
:05:22. > :05:32.nice laugh, like you just did. I was not happy about it at all. "Can
:05:32. > :05:39.I get you anything Mr Renner?" And I was like, yes, ice. I was so
:05:39. > :05:46.embarrassed at first. In the end I'm like, whatever. I was on that
:05:46. > :05:54.flight and I am now pregnant. have visions of you trying to get
:05:54. > :05:59.your tray table down! Are you surprised to hear that
:05:59. > :06:05.Jeremy has trible sleeping? Yes, because you seem to be able
:06:05. > :06:10.sleeping? When? When we were shooting Hansel and Gretel, you
:06:10. > :06:17.were asleep all the time. On the set, because I wasn't sleeping at
:06:17. > :06:21.night. Not because of Viagra. had to finish the box! Matt, are
:06:21. > :06:31.you all right, this week you have been a victim of crime. I was
:06:31. > :06:34.
:06:34. > :06:40.mugged this week, a couple of nights ago. I was actually mugged a
:06:40. > :06:50.couple of nights ago, in a pub, and with a friend, and... You can't get
:06:50. > :06:51.
:06:51. > :06:59.mugged in a pub. I got mugged in a pub, where were you? What happened?
:07:00. > :07:05.Let me tell you the amusing anecdote. I was in a pub with a
:07:05. > :07:12.friend, and an old lady came in selling flowers, and she was of
:07:12. > :07:22.eastern European decent, no racial thing to be, she just was, I'm not,
:07:22. > :07:23.
:07:23. > :07:27.she was. But she was like a very Dickensian impoverished "Please buy
:07:27. > :07:32.flowers, please, please ", they weren't good flowers, they were
:07:32. > :07:36.very dry. It was a first date, it would have been a bit previous to
:07:36. > :07:40.buy. So I said no thank you, but she wouldn't go away. I thought all
:07:40. > :07:46.right, I don't want any flowers but I will give you money. I didn't
:07:46. > :07:50.have any coins, but I had a �5 note, I thought I am on television, I
:07:50. > :07:57.will give her �5. What she did was she put the flowers down and
:07:57. > :08:01.started kissing my hands in this sort of thank you so much, kiss my
:08:01. > :08:06.friend's hands. I thought I will do a comedy things, pick up the phone
:08:06. > :08:12.and say "Mum you can come back in now" and I went for the phone and
:08:12. > :08:16.it wasn't there. I thought, hello, impoverished wrech has had my phone.
:08:16. > :08:19.I ran out of the pub dramatically, my friend said it was quite a camp
:08:19. > :08:27.run, and I saw the woman and I shoved her against the wall and I
:08:27. > :08:33.said give me the phone. She went, no, I said give me the phone. She
:08:33. > :08:39.said no. She tack the phone out from under the floors as if she
:08:39. > :08:44.didn't know it was there. I didn't know. Give me the money. "Not the
:08:44. > :08:48.money ". She gave me the money back and I thought some of her
:08:48. > :08:52.accomplices might be around. As I ran away I ran through a crowd of
:08:52. > :08:57.people who had gathered and all they saw was me shove an old woman
:08:57. > :09:05.up against a wall, saying give me the phone, give me the money. Some
:09:05. > :09:11.people think I have mugged an old woman. I actually got the phone
:09:11. > :09:14.back, I got the money back. What a good ending. And I got the two
:09:14. > :09:20.crappy flowers. It was a good mugging.
:09:20. > :09:27.APPLAUSE Jeremy and Gemma, we must talk
:09:28. > :09:35.about Hansel and Gretel, top of the US box office. Congratulations.
:09:35. > :09:39.It opens here on 27th February. It seems an unlikely idea. Hansel and
:09:40. > :09:49.Gretel, the story we know, but about 15 years later. Exactly.
:09:50. > :09:57.
:09:57. > :10:04.us about it? Don't get all angry. We have issues. A bit kick assy. It
:10:04. > :10:08.is a fairytale, it's gory. It is definitely, don't take your clirn
:10:08. > :10:13.to see it, unless you want to put them in therapy. It is for adults.
:10:13. > :10:17.There is a lot of cursing and blood. You have done this stuff before.
:10:17. > :10:21.But when you have been in big things like clash of the Titans and
:10:21. > :10:26.Prince of Persia, you were damn sell in distress. Is this the first
:10:26. > :10:30.time you have done proper kick ass fighting. That was one of the
:10:30. > :10:35.reasons I I wanted to do the film. I have always wanted to punch
:10:35. > :10:43.people. Did Jeremy help you in your fighting scenes by showing you,
:10:43. > :10:50.what is it called, the warm up exercises. The lunge. The deep
:10:50. > :10:56.lunge. Did you invent this? didn't invent the lunge, man.
:10:56. > :11:01.a special lunge, don't you do a funny thing. It is special to me,
:11:01. > :11:05.because when I get nervous with talk shows or awards shows, you are
:11:05. > :11:13.around a bunch of people you think you know but you don't, so I get
:11:13. > :11:18.nervous. So I stretch, I have to make an ass of myself, do deep
:11:18. > :11:27.lunges and I told Tom Cruise this story and I had to present and I
:11:27. > :11:35.was doing the reverse deep lunge and I nearly Clint Eastwood and I
:11:35. > :11:41.felt bad, because he's tall. He said "What are you doing, boy?"
:11:41. > :11:46.Don't mind me! He laughed about it. We had to put it in Mission:
:11:46. > :11:51.Impossible. Were you doing them out the back there? Yes. Did you see
:11:51. > :11:56.him do them sno No I was in the dressing room. I did see him, I was
:11:56. > :12:04.looking through the... Can you demonstrate a bit? Do a bit of
:12:04. > :12:14.lunging? It's really simple and reverse deep
:12:14. > :12:20.
:12:20. > :12:25.lunge like this. Very good. It's like 1970s dancing, lovely. Let's
:12:25. > :12:35.watch a bit. This is the first time we meet the two of you as adults
:12:35. > :12:43.
:12:43. > :12:52.and witch-hunters. Let the girl go, or I'm going to
:12:52. > :12:58.blow your sheriffs brains all over these hill billies. My name is
:12:58. > :13:08.Gretel. This is my my brother Hansel. Anyone harms this woman,
:13:08. > :13:13.you will have me to deal with. Now go home. Go! Listen sheriff...
:13:13. > :13:23.better listen, I am not going to help this bitch and a scrouned rel
:13:23. > :13:27.
:13:27. > :13:37.of a brother coming into my town. APPLAUSE
:13:37. > :13:37.
:13:37. > :13:44.Excellent. You know what that makes me think of, not Hansel and Gretel.
:13:44. > :13:53.That is an excellent headbutt. you know. You are quite a violent
:13:53. > :13:57.person, aren't you? Yes, I like to defend myself, if in a predicament.
:13:57. > :14:04.Were you filming Hansel and Gretel when a man groped you. Yes.
:14:04. > :14:11.won't be doing that again. I was in Germany and I was one of those ATM
:14:11. > :14:18.cash machine rooms they have, with the door. There was this tramp in
:14:18. > :14:23.there. He kept looking at me dodgy, I thought oh, dear, here we go. He
:14:23. > :14:30.grabbed my bum really hard, so I turned round and punched him in the
:14:30. > :14:36.face. Like a proper bunch? I was doing Hansel and Gretel, so I was
:14:36. > :14:43.learning how to do a proper punch. I punched him and then I realised I
:14:43. > :14:53.punched a tramp in the face. I felt bad. He only wanted to feel my bum.
:14:53. > :14:53.
:14:54. > :15:03.He did grab your bum. Yes, it was quite close, to the middle section.
:15:03. > :15:08.Even I know where the middle section is Jeremy. It is in there.
:15:08. > :15:13.You have had some weird experience with fans. Were you in a bar,
:15:13. > :15:19.talking about the story where there were a lot of women around you.
:15:19. > :15:23.there was a situation where - this is right after I did a movie called
:15:23. > :15:27.Domer, it was a long time ago. We were in a bar, just finished
:15:27. > :15:32.playing with my band mates and we were in a bar having a good time,
:15:32. > :15:36.with a table with a bunch of gals and they were all looking over at
:15:36. > :15:41.us. They came over and started talking to us. There was one girl
:15:41. > :15:46.who wanted to talk about Domer. I thought, OK, talk about that and
:15:46. > :15:53.then I stopped and ignored her. She got very upset, so she kept tapping
:15:54. > :16:02.me on the shoulders, hi. A half hour of that, she stopped tapping
:16:02. > :16:11.and then just bit my arm. Proper bite. I had a short sleeved shirt
:16:11. > :16:17.on. Why? I was playing drums in a band. She is like "I got your
:16:17. > :16:22.attention now ". I'm out of here. I went out to smoke a cigarette and
:16:22. > :16:32.realised there was bleeding down my arm. This confirms that you people
:16:32. > :16:40.are scum. We are very vulnerable. APPLAUSE
:16:40. > :16:44.In terms of Hollywood, Matt Lucas here, you have become... Hi, I'm
:16:44. > :16:54.Matt Lucas. You are a leading man, your first American movie leading
:16:54. > :16:55.
:16:55. > :17:05.man. I done a film in the Americas. It's small Apartments, it's
:17:05. > :17:09.
:17:09. > :17:19.American. 22 March. What is it about? This is a very... What did
:17:19. > :17:29.you say It says here "What about?" I will tell you what about, it's
:17:29. > :17:31.
:17:31. > :17:38.about hour-and-a-half! It is a strange film all about a
:17:38. > :17:42.peculiar man, played by me, who lives in an apartment block and you
:17:42. > :17:46.discover his landlord is lying dead on the floor, and throughout the
:17:46. > :17:52.film you discover did my character kill the landlord or not, will he
:17:52. > :17:57.get framed for it, it is a mystery. I have had to do an American accent.
:17:57. > :18:02.I got a bit worried about it, so I had a dialect coach and then I
:18:02. > :18:08.stayed in dialect, not in character, because that would be mental, but I
:18:08. > :18:12.stayed in dialect for the whole of each shooting day. I had to text my
:18:13. > :18:18.mum to say I am going to be calling you in a minute, but I am going to
:18:18. > :18:26.be doing an American accent when I do. Then I called and forgive my
:18:26. > :18:31.accent, I am out of practice now, hey mom and she said oh, good day,
:18:31. > :18:37.mate. What did you think of the American accent? It sounded pretty
:18:37. > :18:43.good to me. I think yours is pretty good, too. You do an American
:18:43. > :18:50.accent in Hansel and Gretel. I do. In America, people think you are
:18:50. > :18:56.posh, they think you have a posh English accent. She ain't posh,
:18:56. > :19:02.mate, no offence, that is a joke. Was it Prince of Persia you went in.
:19:02. > :19:11.I had to play a Princess in that one, and the director was really
:19:11. > :19:18.posh, and he said "Can you do posh?" And I said I went to the
:19:18. > :19:24.Royal Academy of dramatic fucking art, so I can do anything. He went
:19:24. > :19:29."I love it, you've got the job". the movie, great cast, great
:19:29. > :19:34.American accent, costume budget appears to be low. I did something
:19:34. > :19:38.stupid, because I got bored, and I thought if I am I am being honest
:19:38. > :19:45.on one of those days I don't go out and I am living on my own and no-
:19:45. > :19:54.one comes around, I don't bother to get completely dressed. Do you?
:19:54. > :20:00.I do. I don't, I am going to be blunt. I think clothes are an
:20:00. > :20:07.aeffectation, so I did most of the movie in my underpants.
:20:07. > :20:13.Thank you for the vote of confidence.
:20:13. > :20:18.APPLAUSE Yoo When I realised I made a
:20:18. > :20:22.mistake, they had a screening and people kept coming up to me and
:20:22. > :20:28.saying you are a very brave actor. Then I watched a clip of the film
:20:28. > :20:37.and I thought I see what you mean now, I am just a fat, pale,
:20:37. > :20:47.hairless man. All you fat pale hairless man fettishests come and
:20:47. > :20:48.
:20:48. > :20:54.watch this movie! You live with Rebel Wilson, who we know from
:20:54. > :20:58.Bridesmaids. We got along well and people say to us are you brother
:20:58. > :21:02.and sister, or husband and wife or are you the same person but we live
:21:02. > :21:05.together. You get complaints from neighbours. We got one letter of
:21:05. > :21:12.complaint from the neighbours, we had one night where we went crazy,
:21:12. > :21:19.I have a piano and we played show tunes, you know one of those nights
:21:19. > :21:25.where you just play show tunes all night Jeremy. He's lunging quietly.
:21:25. > :21:32.Do you know who else likes a sing song, Queen of Karaoke, Gemma
:21:32. > :21:42.Arterton. You love Karaoke. You did it professionally. Is there such a
:21:42. > :21:46.thing. You should see our X Factor show.
:21:46. > :21:53.APPLAUSE You worked in a Karaoke bar, but it
:21:53. > :21:57.was a rough Karaoke bar. Yes, it was a South London gangster bar and
:21:57. > :22:03.I had a couple of nights there a week, Friday and Saturday night,
:22:03. > :22:08.Karaoke with Gemma and it became... Welcome to the stage Gemma! It was
:22:08. > :22:14.a bit dodgy and sometimes it would get a bit fraught in there, and
:22:14. > :22:21.occasionally I would get threatened and there was one time a guy wanted
:22:21. > :22:30.to, ten times a night I would hear I want to sing Frank Sinatra My Way.
:22:30. > :22:36.This guy pulled out a crowbar from his trousers and went for me. I
:22:36. > :22:40.called the owner, who was called Honest Dave. He got everybody out
:22:40. > :22:50.and saved me, but he said "If the future next time that happens, what
:22:50. > :22:57.will work is if you sing my heart will go on by CelineDion because
:22:57. > :23:06.that chills everybody out. It used to be a a soothing balm over the
:23:06. > :23:11.gangsters. It used to get a bit fraught and he would go "Gemma, do
:23:11. > :23:19.Titanic ". You are back on BBC One is the Matt Lucas awards. What
:23:19. > :23:26.awords are you giving out this time? The Matt Lucas awards is back.
:23:26. > :23:29.Please contain your excitement, it's embarrassing.
:23:29. > :23:33.APPLAUSE That was just patronising, I hope
:23:33. > :23:37.they dub that out. The awards is back but what we did this time was
:23:37. > :23:44.made two big changes, I know longer decide what wins, we have a jury, a
:23:44. > :23:51.different jury each week. One week we had four original EastEnders,
:23:51. > :24:00.nick cotton, Pete Beale and Dr Legg. Dr Legg is still alive? Yes, he is.
:24:00. > :24:10.I thought he was just a leg, but he is a whole man. You know Dr Legg.
:24:10. > :24:10.
:24:10. > :24:20.We had sooty sweep and Sue. So that is great. We have a hidden talent
:24:20. > :24:21.
:24:21. > :24:29.award every week. That gets everybody up. I can sing, I think I
:24:29. > :24:34.translated the flint stones theme into German, using one of those
:24:34. > :24:44.online untranslator things, so I think I can sing the Flint stones
:24:44. > :24:48.
:24:48. > :24:54.in German. (Sings Flint stones theme tune in
:24:54. > :25:04.German) APPLAUSE
:25:04. > :25:10.
:25:10. > :25:20.The best bit is when it comes yabba doite
:25:20. > :25:20.
:25:20. > :25:30.I think I have many hidden talents. It is like you are a contestant on
:25:30. > :25:31.
:25:31. > :25:36.Miss World now. I have a hyper mobile back. What does that mean?
:25:36. > :25:43.can tidy up the room with just my feet. I am not going to show you.
:25:43. > :25:49.What do you mean? I think it is a talent. Will it take you an hour to
:25:49. > :25:59.get those shoes off. It's like laundry. Glass is hard. Could you
:25:59. > :26:00.
:26:00. > :26:07.pick up that bunch of grapes. I'm balancing on one foot here.
:26:07. > :26:14.Look at her go, it's like planet of That's very good. I do it sometimes
:26:14. > :26:24.when I am on the phone or something, and oh God I need to tidy up.
:26:24. > :26:28.
:26:28. > :26:36.mum does that. Can you remind me not to eat those grapes later on.
:26:36. > :26:40.Any hidden talents? Not that I am sharing. The acting? The acting is
:26:40. > :26:47.very good, that is what my mum would say. Whenever I go to the
:26:47. > :26:57.theatre with my mum, she sits next to me and says "You could play that
:26:57. > :27:00.
:27:00. > :27:04.role" does your mum say that? What is worse being forced to spend
:27:04. > :27:10.Valentine's Day with your partner or being alone and single. It is
:27:10. > :27:15.obviously the forced bit. Part Part of this dislike of Valentine's Day
:27:15. > :27:23.comes from not having anyone to share it with?
:27:23. > :27:28.How long have you been single? years now. What is your type?
:27:28. > :27:38.don't have a type? Yes, when they have the little thing in between
:27:38. > :27:38.
:27:38. > :27:46.their legs. Time to meet my next guest. She has
:27:46. > :27:51.sold over 21 million cook books and become so famous that doing a Delia
:27:51. > :28:01.entered the Collins English drinksary -- Collins English
:28:01. > :28:14.
:28:14. > :28:19.Dictionary. Look at you all show business.
:28:19. > :28:23.You look fabulous. It's not me, I got people out the back that do it.
:28:23. > :28:28.It's worked a treat. Delia is back and is a woman on a mission. You
:28:28. > :28:34.are quite campaigny at the moment. I am. Tell us all. I have spent
:28:34. > :28:39.several years seething. Let it out, lady. Because people don't know
:28:39. > :28:45.about home cooking any more, and I have spent a long time trying to
:28:45. > :28:50.teach them how to do home cooking but now it's all gone to ready
:28:50. > :28:52.meals, supermarkets and I don't know, I just feel we have got to
:28:52. > :28:57.get back to the kitchen and I am sick of hearing we are in a
:28:58. > :29:06.recession, we can't afford anything. It's half the price to cook. I want
:29:06. > :29:12.to teach people to cook and I'm going to. I'm going to do it.
:29:12. > :29:16.are taking your campaigning lessons online. That's right. So that
:29:16. > :29:22.people can do it slowly, you can stop it and pause it and come back
:29:22. > :29:26.to it. It is an online cookery school which means I can teach
:29:26. > :29:32.people directly in their homes, any time, on the bus, anywhere they
:29:32. > :29:35.want to, they can learn how to cook. I just feel what we have forgotten
:29:36. > :29:39.sight of is it is something that has to be taught. You kind of think
:29:39. > :29:45.it's going online, it sounds like you are making it on your mobile
:29:45. > :29:50.phone, but the production values are beautiful. We have a taster.
:29:50. > :29:53.My ambition and my dream is anyone who wants to learn to cook, can. So
:29:53. > :30:01.we have created an online cockry school to take take somebody by the
:30:01. > :30:06.hand and lead them through it step by step. And it's absolutely free.
:30:06. > :30:16.It's very, very exciting. I don't think you could learn really in a
:30:16. > :30:28.
:30:28. > :30:34.better way. That looks delicious. Graham, I think I have just cum.
:30:34. > :30:44.did look delicious. Proper food. I get it.
:30:44. > :30:52.The first one you are doing is baking.
:30:52. > :31:00.It was a joke. I didn't actually. What a lovely serving suggestion.
:31:00. > :31:05.Sorry Delia, it's like I have just made a joke and it is like having
:31:05. > :31:11.your mum over there. The first course, the first lesson you are
:31:11. > :31:16.doing is baking and to coincide you have re-released Delia's cakes.
:31:16. > :31:21.because it was a book I did in 1977. It never went out of print but it
:31:21. > :31:25.kind of needed updated a bit. We have updated it. I thought to start
:31:25. > :31:29.with cakes would be good because I think young people will be
:31:29. > :31:37.attracted to want to cook if it is something really nice at the end of
:31:37. > :31:41.it. Man, I love the cake. You look at this book, it is beautiful,
:31:41. > :31:48.lavishly illustrated. Back in 1977, how times have changed. Here is the
:31:48. > :31:52.book in 1977. There isn't an illustration in it. It's just - how
:31:52. > :31:56.did people know when it was finished. Just a lump on a plate, I
:31:56. > :32:01.think that's it. You need the picture, don't you? Seriously, when
:32:01. > :32:06.that book was first published people did cook at home quite a lot.
:32:06. > :32:11.It's disappeared slightly. But it is ambitious to make a three tier
:32:11. > :32:19.wedding cake when that is the only illustrative help there was. A lot
:32:19. > :32:21.of people have. You have to be able to explain it well. And never have
:32:21. > :32:27.tasted another one or seen another one.
:32:27. > :32:35.Really, that is a wedding cake? I use your Christmas step by step
:32:35. > :32:43.book every Christmas. I am so glad. I love it. What did you cook?
:32:43. > :32:47.Christmas dinner! Thank God cooking found you Delia,
:32:47. > :32:55.because up until that point in your life life it hadn't been going that
:32:55. > :32:59.well. No. Happily you found modelling. No, I did not. You are
:33:00. > :33:05.being modest. You had a hugely successful career as a model.
:33:05. > :33:11.on, I worked in a travel agency and they took one picture. It was a
:33:11. > :33:18.whole photo shoot. I know you have the picture. We do. This is Delia
:33:18. > :33:24.as a Swimwear model. There she is. That is you, is it?
:33:24. > :33:28.The bee hive. You look fabulous, look at you. I am almost not gay
:33:28. > :33:32.any more. All these ladies that worked in the travel agent. They
:33:32. > :33:37.were people who worked in the agency and they couldn't afford to
:33:37. > :33:46.do proper smart advertising so we all got together. I would say I
:33:46. > :33:52.think that lady had too many cups of coffee, she was a little nervous.
:33:52. > :34:00.She seems hysterical as well. "I'm in my pants". Here is another shot
:34:00. > :34:06.of you all. You look fabulous. wish I was that slim now. The rest
:34:06. > :34:16.look at those Daily Mail people with real bodies. Be proud,
:34:16. > :34:26.somebody proud of your obesity. That is an undergarment at best.
:34:26. > :34:27.
:34:28. > :34:32.Have you stayed in touch with these ladies? No. They are here tonight!
:34:32. > :34:42.Working in a travel agency, the travel agency was called Rent A
:34:42. > :34:48.Villa. You got a free swim suit. 40 years later Delia not just Queen
:34:48. > :34:53.of the cooking world, you but also a football mogul. Not just a
:34:53. > :35:03.football fan, she owns a football team. Norwich City. That's right.
:35:03. > :35:06.
:35:06. > :35:12.Got that right! Some of the ladies are here tonight. I can see them.
:35:12. > :35:19.These are the wives and girlfriends. Of the footballers. Can you see how
:35:19. > :35:23.gorgeous they are. They are all a bit embarrassed. Have you all left
:35:23. > :35:32.your partners male footballers at home? They are going to be screwing
:35:32. > :35:37.other women. That is what they do. Don't be horrible to the nice
:35:37. > :35:47.people. Sorry. It is getting a bit tense now. The situation needs to
:35:47. > :35:51.
:35:51. > :35:55.be diffused. MUSIC: Titanic.
:35:55. > :35:59.It is music time now, this singer is the golden girl of British pop
:35:59. > :36:03.with a number one album, three number one singles and three Brit
:36:04. > :36:13.nominations under her belt. Performing her brand new single
:36:14. > :36:17.
:36:17. > :36:27.Radioactive, please welcome Rita # Palms to the sky
:36:27. > :36:35.
:36:35. > :36:40.# I'm feeling it # I'm checking you out in the sweet
:36:40. > :36:50.desire # I'm coming over to make you mine
:36:50. > :36:52.
:36:52. > :36:54.# It's a crime, boy, you're so fine # I'm checking you out, boy, it's a
:36:54. > :37:01.green light # I'm glad you came over, it was
:37:01. > :37:09.about time # It it feels right boy you're so
:37:09. > :37:18.fine # This club's Radioactive
:37:18. > :37:26.# Drop the ball feel the beat this club's Radioactive
:37:26. > :37:33.# Palms to the sky # We unite
:37:33. > :37:41.# I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it # We rise tonight
:37:41. > :37:51.# Moving on me as the world ends # This nuclear heat is a beautiful
:37:51. > :37:51.
:37:51. > :37:56.# You might not live to tell Air air air air
:37:56. > :38:03.# This club's Radioactive # Drop the ball let me feel the
:38:03. > :38:06.feet # This club's radioactive
:38:06. > :38:14.# Drop the ball let me feel the beat
:38:14. > :38:23.# Palms to the sky # We unite
:38:23. > :38:33.# I'm feeling it, feel feel feeling # We rise tonight
:38:33. > :38:38.# Palms to the sky # I'm feeling it, feeling it, feel,
:38:38. > :38:46.feel feeling it # We rise tonight.
:38:46. > :38:55.Hey hey take a look at you # Palms to the Rye
:38:55. > :38:59.you, you, you and I rerise tonight
:38:59. > :39:05.# Palms to the sky # Unite
:39:05. > :39:13.# I'm feeling it I'm feeling it feel, feel,
:39:13. > :39:23.# We rise tonight # Palms to the sky
:39:23. > :39:26.we unite # I am feeling it, I feeling it
:39:26. > :39:30.we rise tonight # We unite
:39:30. > :39:35.you and I will rise tonight # We unite
:39:35. > :39:40.you and I will rise tonight # We unite, you and I will rise
:39:40. > :39:50.tonight # You and I will rise tonight
:39:50. > :40:15.
:40:15. > :40:19.Come and join me. Thank you so much for that.
:40:19. > :40:23.Fantastic. I love the production of it. That is the fourth single.
:40:23. > :40:30.Actually the fifth if you don't include the first one which was DJ
:40:30. > :40:36.Fresh. I am not including that one. Therefore I am correct.
:40:36. > :40:40.The rest all went to number one. Yes. Fingers crossed. Of course the
:40:40. > :40:46.album is selling hot cakes and still out. Next week, three
:40:46. > :40:54.nominations at the Brits. Can you believe? No, because I have only
:40:54. > :40:58.just - I didn't know who you were, but now I do. Jeremy asked me
:40:58. > :41:08.during that song to ask you if you were single. Seriously, he actually
:41:08. > :41:08.
:41:09. > :41:14.did. Look at his face. The answer is yes, I am. Congratulations on
:41:14. > :41:21.the Brits. I am really looking forward to it. You are probably
:41:21. > :41:26.looking for a date for the Brits. When are the Brits Next week, you
:41:26. > :41:30.are free. It is like the British Grammys. Congratulations, it's
:41:30. > :41:36.fantastic. Congratulations on everything so far. It is going to
:41:36. > :41:44.get bigger and better. It is time to have a visit to the
:41:44. > :41:51.big Red Chair. Who have we got up first. Hello. Where do you live?
:41:51. > :42:00.live in Surrey. Lovely Surrey. It's gorgeous, really lovely. Just pull
:42:00. > :42:07.it, would you. No, wait. What do you do? I am a teacher. You haven't
:42:07. > :42:17.seen anyone flip yes. No. You will. Off you go. This dates back to
:42:17. > :42:26.
:42:26. > :42:34.1990... Where do they go? Back to obscurity.
:42:34. > :42:41.There is a big bus outside that says "Obscurity, non-stop ". Hello.
:42:41. > :42:46.Hi. Are you from the old country? am, Wicklow. Do you live there
:42:46. > :42:52.still? No, I have lived here for two-and-a-half years. You have
:42:52. > :42:59.really lops the accent! What do you do here? I am a beauty
:42:59. > :43:05.therapist. What were you doing there? Treating people. Basically...
:43:05. > :43:10.She's off. I I am a massage therapist and one day this lady
:43:10. > :43:17.came in, of the larger scale. She came and she was very, very large.
:43:17. > :43:26.I get it. She was huge. I start today massage her back, working
:43:26. > :43:36.away and next minute, a biscuit popped out of one of her rolls.
:43:36. > :43:49.
:43:49. > :43:54.Thank you to my guests tonight. Rita Ora! Math Matt Lucas. Jeremy