Episode 3

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:00:13. > :00:18.It's a week when we celebrate all things spooky. I'm going to make my

:00:18. > :00:22.audience scream. I'm coming to get you. All right then. I will drink

:00:22. > :00:32.your blood. Nothing? OK. Robbie Williams is on

:00:32. > :00:49.

:00:49. > :00:55.The programme contains some strong CHEERING

:00:55. > :01:00.You lovely people. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. You're

:01:00. > :01:05.very kind. Tonight, chart topping singer, Robbie Williams is with us.

:01:05. > :01:13.Yes, he is. Ballerina turned Strictly judge, Darcey Bussell is

:01:13. > :01:18.gracing us. One of my favourite comedians Paul O'Grady is here.

:01:18. > :01:23.And also, dropping in, hopefully not literally, the daredevil who

:01:23. > :01:32.jumped from the edge of space, world record breaking skydiver,

:01:32. > :01:41.Felix Baumgartner is here. I know! Did you see it? Did you all

:01:41. > :01:45.watch it? It was incredible. He did a skydive from 24 miles up. So

:01:45. > :01:53.brave. I mean I say brave, is that the right word? No. Probably stupid

:01:53. > :02:02.would be a better word. Here he is about to jump. Yeah, OK on three,

:02:02. > :02:07.one, two... Two and a bit, two and a bit more. It's so windy. Any way

:02:07. > :02:12.it all ended well. I'm not saying he was nervous, but here he is

:02:12. > :02:14.after they got him out of his space suit.

:02:14. > :02:22.LAUGHTER Very excited that Robbie Williams

:02:22. > :02:32.is on the show. Such a huge star! You know what I love about him,

:02:32. > :02:34.

:02:34. > :02:38.he's always got time for his fans. He does. Take that. Robbie's been

:02:38. > :02:45.performing all over Europe. Here he is on the Italian version of the X

:02:45. > :02:53.Factor. Hello! How good does the Italian X Factor look, fantastic.

:02:53. > :03:02.There Robbie gets to cuddle a sexy young lady. Ours? Louis Walsh.

:03:02. > :03:07.All right, don't do a Tulisa. A huge welcome back to Paul O'Grady,

:03:07. > :03:12.ladies and gentleman! APPLAUSE

:03:12. > :03:20.Famous for his alter ego Lily Savage. I have to say not every man

:03:20. > :03:25.looks good dressed as a woman, no. Hello boys! And hey, it's the first

:03:25. > :03:30.time on the show for the wonderful Darcey Bussell, so pretty, now

:03:30. > :03:35.Strictly judge, until recently one of the world's finest ballerinas.

:03:35. > :03:45.There she is in action. So beautiful.

:03:45. > :03:46.

:03:46. > :03:51.I wonder, is there ever a time when a tutu isn't sexy? Is there? Even

:03:51. > :03:58.he's surprised to find himself in my monologue. She performed with

:03:58. > :04:04.the world renowned Carlos Acosta. Hello! They both appeared in Swan

:04:04. > :04:10.Lake where Darcy played the White Swan. There they are. Yeah, I

:04:10. > :04:16.believe what he's doing there is taking her up the swany.

:04:16. > :04:23.Let's get some guests on. Later, we'll meet Felix Baumgartner.

:04:23. > :04:27.First, he's a comedian with a savage way. It's Paul O'Grady.

:04:27. > :04:33.APPLAUSE Hello darling.

:04:33. > :04:37.Lovely to see you. Have a seat. And from the Royal Ballet to the queen

:04:37. > :04:43.of Strictly, it's Darcey Bussell! APPLAUSE

:04:43. > :04:47.Wow! Look at you, gorgeous. Come in and have a seat. And yes, we will

:04:47. > :04:54.let him entertain us, it's Robbie Williams!

:04:54. > :05:02.# Let me entertain you # CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Have a seat.

:05:02. > :05:07.# Let me entertain you # Sit, sit, sit.

:05:07. > :05:11.That is a couch. That's proper. Yeah, I'm seeing chat, I'm liking

:05:11. > :05:19.it. They put me in this pigging waist coat again. And it's making

:05:19. > :05:23.me look unfortunate. So I'm going to have to undo it.

:05:23. > :05:28.There we go. Happy now? Yeah. look good either way. Thank you

:05:28. > :05:33.very much. Everyone looks lovely. You're all suited and booted. And

:05:33. > :05:40.you have legs again. You forget behind the thing. Yeah, who knows

:05:40. > :05:45.what I've got on. What's this yellow sample? Did you not ask for

:05:45. > :05:51.that? I don't know. It's beer or is it cider? Oh, no, it's cider.

:05:51. > :05:56.Lovely, I didn't know it was coming. Do you want that? Don't give me

:05:56. > :06:00.cider, I'm such a lightweight these days. I whiff of the barmaid's

:06:00. > :06:05.apron as I'm in trouble. Does it make awe gresive? No, I don't get

:06:05. > :06:12.aggressive on drink, never. You get happy? Very happy, yeah. Then I

:06:12. > :06:22.wake up in a skip with a kebab. Then I get aggressive.

:06:22. > :06:23.

:06:23. > :06:27.Listen, congratulations, little Theodora? Yes. There she is. That

:06:27. > :06:34.is so lovely. Yes. Can I just say, looking at that picture though, you

:06:34. > :06:44.have slightly let the house work go. The house looks like a tip? Oh, you

:06:44. > :06:49.actually mean the house and not the body? No. Can I just say Theodora

:06:49. > :06:58.is a beautiful name, old classic name. Weren't people expecting you

:06:58. > :07:03.to be more rock star? Storm. Yeah that kind of thing. Debris. Didn't

:07:03. > :07:07.you have an incident with Gwyneth Paltrow's child? Yes unfortunately

:07:07. > :07:12.I did. It was at my house in Los Angeles and the Coldplay boys had

:07:12. > :07:22.been over for a game of football. Then I put on a spread afterwards.

:07:22. > :07:23.

:07:23. > :07:29.There was a little buffet. Gawineth turned up. She's walking over and

:07:29. > :07:39.in my head I'm saying, say something, say something. I said

:07:39. > :07:41.

:07:41. > :07:45."Does melon want some Apple? Easily done? Easily done. Paul, your

:07:45. > :07:50.daughter is Sharon. You didn't want to call her Sharon due?

:07:51. > :07:55.LAUGHTER No. Whose idea was it? Ti, wasn't

:07:55. > :08:03.mine, believe you me. I wanted to call her gypsy Rose. She wasn't

:08:03. > :08:10.having it. I was a big fan of Gypsy Rose Lee. I could hear myself

:08:10. > :08:15.shouting her "Gypsy Rose, get in for your tea." I'm sorry, Apple,

:08:15. > :08:20.calling a kid bloody apple. You might as well say King Edward or

:08:20. > :08:23.celery for God sake. Granny smith Martin. Now that she's here and

:08:23. > :08:30.you're holding her and everything, do you feel responsible, like a

:08:30. > :08:34.proper grown up? Yeah and I love it. I really do love it. I was worried

:08:34. > :08:37.that before she came, I've been a pop star since I was 16, I haven't

:08:37. > :08:41.had to do anything for myself and now I'm going to be asked to guard

:08:41. > :08:45.this life and take care of her. I was worried there would be no bond

:08:45. > :08:49.and I would be a selfish person, but you know, you just melt. The

:08:49. > :08:54.baby came out and everything changed cosmically, spiritually,

:08:54. > :09:00.life, everything. It was just this moment of, wonder and from that

:09:00. > :09:06.moment in, I'm in. I'm nappy changer, I'm chief burper, I'm

:09:07. > :09:11.feeder. And she's a good little, she's an amazing little girl. And

:09:11. > :09:17.every parent is going to say that about their daughters and sons and

:09:17. > :09:27.stuff, but I'm a new parent, so I still have that euphoria and that,

:09:27. > :09:32.she hasn't pissed me off yet. APPLAUSE

:09:32. > :09:36.You know, you were very young when you started. Were you 17 when you

:09:36. > :09:42.got 80,000 Valentine cards? I was 15 when I auditioned. 16 when I

:09:42. > :09:50.joined. Then I was 17 when I got 74,000 Valentine's cards. What's

:09:50. > :09:53.that going to do to a boy. It's mad. Yeah, I'm from a council estate in

:09:53. > :09:57.Stoke-on-Trent. You're a guy at school one day. The next day the

:09:57. > :10:02.police are cordoning off the road because there's too many girls

:10:02. > :10:08.outside. My mum shut the curtains in 1990 and didn't open them again

:10:08. > :10:12.until 1995. It was very, very strange, very, very wonderful and

:10:12. > :10:16.very, very weird. We used to have this coach load of Germans that

:10:16. > :10:22.used to pull up on a Thursday because they organised trips to

:10:22. > :10:27.Take That's houses. They used to get out and pull up things from the

:10:27. > :10:33.garden, flowers and stuff, jump over the back and nick me pants and

:10:33. > :10:36.bits of fence would go. They would get on the bus and go off to Mark's

:10:36. > :10:40.house. That happened every Thursday. Things were...

:10:40. > :10:44.LAUGHTER That's incedsible. Yeah, things

:10:44. > :10:48.were quiend mind blowing. Is it in Japan that you're like a rock star.

:10:48. > :10:52.Yeah they treat me like Robbie Williams. It's really odd. They

:10:52. > :10:56.come out of the stage door and they're going wah. You have

:10:56. > :11:00.bodyguards to get to your car. I've never experienced that. Do they

:11:00. > :11:04.give you lots of gifts? A lot of gifts. The last time we went when

:11:05. > :11:10.my kids were really young. I think I had my youngest with me and she

:11:10. > :11:16.has blonde curly hair and they're obsessed with blonde children. They

:11:16. > :11:20.gave so many gifts, I got a life- sized well not life-sized but

:11:20. > :11:23.Japanese doll with real hair and they're quite spooky. It came in an

:11:23. > :11:26.amazing box. But really expensive.Ive mean extraordinary

:11:26. > :11:32.gifts that you can't leave in the hotel. You have to take them home

:11:32. > :11:35.with you. My kids really hate it. I put in a list of things that I

:11:35. > :11:41.wanted. The first time with Take That it was customary to bring

:11:41. > :11:46.gifts. It was amazing. You're impolite if you don't. I like

:11:46. > :11:49.rollerblades and T-shirts and they brought them me. Do you know what I

:11:49. > :11:53.get? Liquorice all sorts and black puddings.

:11:53. > :11:57.I tell you something, Saturday morning, I think what's that smell?

:11:57. > :12:02.I go down and there's a big Jiffy bag that's leaking. I open it and

:12:02. > :12:09.there's two black pudding that were posted a fortnight ago.

:12:09. > :12:14.I drop hints, you know. I say what I want. I was in Japan once and

:12:14. > :12:20.this actually happened. I got into the lift and there were two fans in

:12:20. > :12:27.there and they went "lobby". And I said, "Yes, please." That's not a

:12:27. > :12:31.joke. That actually happened. APPLAUSE

:12:31. > :12:35.With ballet fans, because it is very sexy in that you know, the men

:12:35. > :12:40.and women are not wearing many clothes, but are fans too posh to

:12:40. > :12:45.write pervy letters and things? no I have had quite a few pervy

:12:45. > :12:48.letters. Sorry about that. I got your address and I thought.

:12:48. > :12:51.sometimes used to get on the Tube after a show with my flowers and

:12:51. > :12:56.everything and your fans would follow you on and sit beside you

:12:56. > :13:04.and stuff. The only, I've only got weird shopping lists, kind of

:13:04. > :13:09.sexual shopping lists? Do tell. very kinky. I've had weird ones.

:13:09. > :13:15.Things they'd like to do with you or for... Yes. Perhaps not then.

:13:15. > :13:20.let's not say. Oh, I see. Positions and things? No, the shopping list

:13:20. > :13:27.of the food they'd like... To eat off you. That's very Japanese.

:13:27. > :13:30.want to eat food off you? Buy a table, really! So they send a

:13:30. > :13:36.letter to you telling you what they'd like to eat off you? Yes.

:13:36. > :13:40.Was that one or a few? They'd give me the list of what they had bought

:13:40. > :13:45.ready. They went out planning this. They went shopping for Darcy.

:13:45. > :13:49.And then came and gave you the letter? Yes with the shopping list

:13:49. > :13:53.going "I'm ready", that kind of thing. I'm here, come round and

:13:53. > :13:59.I'll eat off you. Was there a black pudding mentioned?

:13:59. > :14:03.LAUGHTER I wouldn't mind if there was.

:14:03. > :14:06.Robbie Williams, you are in such a good place right now. You've had a

:14:06. > :14:12.baby. You got married. You kissed and made up with Take That, great

:14:12. > :14:16.tour. Now new album and song that is number one, isn't it? It's

:14:17. > :14:21.number one on Sunday. It is. APPLAUSE

:14:21. > :14:26.It's number one now. By Sunday that should be number one. The thing is,

:14:26. > :14:33.because this is your solo album, but Gary Barlow he did work on it.

:14:33. > :14:37.Yes, he did. Gary comes over to Los Angeles and he sets up in my attic

:14:37. > :14:43.and we go up there and spend all day laughing about what we can and

:14:43. > :14:49.cannot say on a record. Which is obvious if you list ton the lyrics

:14:49. > :14:53.of Candy, none of them make sense. Yeah, we've written a ton of songs

:14:53. > :14:56.together. Me and Gaz have done about 25, 30 songs. I'm saving some

:14:56. > :15:00.for other projects and we have a good time. He comes over and we

:15:00. > :15:04.have a laugh. I'm not making this up in a showbiz way, I'm so glad

:15:04. > :15:07.that worked out, that you are still, you know because when you got back

:15:07. > :15:12.together again, we were so excited. APPLAUSE

:15:12. > :15:19.Everyone was so pleased, but then you thought, will there be a moment

:15:19. > :15:23.when they're all in the recordling oo -- recording studio going - this

:15:23. > :15:27.is why we don't work together again. No it wasn't him. It was that Mark

:15:27. > :15:32.Owen. What a pain in the arse he is. No, he's a lovely guy too. We had

:15:32. > :15:36.the most amazing time. We came back and wrote a critically acclaimed

:15:36. > :15:43.album, commercially acclaimed album and.biggest tour the UK's ever seen

:15:43. > :15:48.and we all became firm and very good friends. We vanquished the

:15:48. > :15:54.demons in the past. You should be friends. Yeah a lot of stuff that

:15:54. > :15:58.happened was when I was 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, your formative years. Gaz

:15:58. > :16:03.was really young too. We were at each other and now we're not. We're

:16:03. > :16:07.older blokes, more mature. He's a very, very, very decent man. I call

:16:07. > :16:09.him the captain. I go to him for advice and stuff. I love him to

:16:10. > :16:14.bits. I think he loves me too. think he does, yes.

:16:14. > :16:18.APPLAUSE Everyone's happy. It's a happy

:16:19. > :16:24.story. Later on, I'm guessing you're performing Candy due to the

:16:24. > :16:29.paint work. Oh, yeah. The video, though, it's a

:16:29. > :16:35.proper funny video. That picture of you with the old lady.

:16:35. > :16:39.It's quite a shocking image. It is, isn't it. Yeah, they wanted know

:16:39. > :16:44.kick a dog. I'm an animal lover. LAUGHTER

:16:44. > :16:50.So, I was not having that. Then they said, punch a pensioner, I was

:16:50. > :16:56.like, yeah, I'm in. Could you please address your

:16:56. > :17:01.letters to "Robbie Williams", not us. Nothing to do with me. Must

:17:01. > :17:06.mention you're back giging, three nights at the O2 from November

:17:06. > :17:12.226789 that's a big deal. -- November 22. That's a big deal. You

:17:12. > :17:16.get nervous, still? Not now. Not so much. Because I had to do something

:17:16. > :17:22.about it. OK. All the way through the career - do you get nervous

:17:22. > :17:27.before you do? I don't get nervous now? I'm pretty much the same.

:17:27. > :17:31.There was a time I turned up to Milton Keynes and there was 60,000

:17:31. > :17:36.people waiting for me and I was on the bus and I went "I'm not doing

:17:36. > :17:40.it. Turn around." Seriously, I was like, I'm not going on. Turn around.

:17:40. > :17:45.My manager, who's here today, "Robert, I know you're saying that

:17:45. > :17:49.you can't do this, but I just thought I'd warn you that if you

:17:50. > :17:59.don't, it will cost you �1 million." I was like

:18:00. > :18:01.

:18:01. > :18:05.# Let me entertain you # Now, Darcey Bussell, we are loving

:18:05. > :18:12.you on Saturday nights. This series of Strictly is so good. You've

:18:12. > :18:17.arrived at a very good time. lucky. But I'm a bit disappointed

:18:17. > :18:27.because you have a Catchphrase. It seems to have gone away already.

:18:27. > :18:29.

:18:29. > :18:37.I didn't think about it and it disappeared. Yeah. Yah, OK. I know

:18:37. > :18:43.why it was because when I coach dancers I'm always -- I always want

:18:43. > :18:47.a response. You got it, yah, OK? I realised oh, no they're never going

:18:47. > :18:54.to speak to me. Soy have to talk at them. I find that weird.

:18:54. > :18:58.someone talk to you afterwards and go very good, but... No, I had such

:18:58. > :19:04.a shock because I didn't appreciate I was saying it so many times until

:19:05. > :19:11.they said, I think you should watch yourself. No really watch yourself.

:19:11. > :19:20.Wow, I can't even hear it. It's so add. I've -- odd. I've never had to

:19:20. > :19:26.open my mouth before. It was a south African yah. Yah, OK. In

:19:26. > :19:31.terms of joining those three guys, is it like walking into a local pub,

:19:31. > :19:36.the music stops, who's the new girl or are they nice? They're gorgeous

:19:36. > :19:39.and very protective. Constantly, are you OK? Anything you need?

:19:39. > :19:43.They're heaven. They've been doing it for nine years. The amount of

:19:43. > :19:47.energy they have and passion for the show is fabulous. I feel like

:19:47. > :19:50.I'm in very good company. It's a really high standard. Are you

:19:50. > :19:57.watching? I've watched a couple yeah. Is there a rumour you're

:19:57. > :20:07.going to be performing on it? yeah. I think. So I hope so. I have

:20:07. > :20:10.

:20:10. > :20:16.an album out and I've done X Factor now. So there's only one left.

:20:16. > :20:21.they asked you? They ring me every year. I like a lie in.

:20:21. > :20:26.I am not getting up to be dragged around for eight hours a day. Like

:20:26. > :20:30.a little Russian -- by a little Russian doing a strict tango and I

:20:30. > :20:33.know what would happen. When I was, it takes me about three weeks to

:20:33. > :20:37.learn a dance routine. Once it's there, it's there for life. If I

:20:37. > :20:41.did this, you know in the eight hours a day for the week, I'd

:20:41. > :20:46.forget everything. Everything would leave me. It is about the music. I

:20:46. > :20:51.don't think you wo. Oh, I think it wo. You wouldn't want to stand

:20:51. > :20:56.there and be insulted would you. I'd go for them. That's what I'm

:20:56. > :20:59.saying. I couldn't take it. You're quite nice to them. I try and give

:20:59. > :21:02.constructive. As they get better and better then you're going to get

:21:02. > :21:07.bored if you give them the same correction every time. Like come on,

:21:07. > :21:12.how many times I have told you this. Do you ever think, I'm going to be

:21:12. > :21:16.vicious this week? I've got Craig next to me. I don't need to. He is

:21:16. > :21:22.rubbing off on me. My marking is quite low. That's where I'm a bit

:21:22. > :21:25.mean. That bitch. You've got some trained dancers and

:21:25. > :21:32.people who can barely walk. I'd be in the latter category. Who's going

:21:32. > :21:36.to win? Well, I have my favourites, obviously. I think we know who your

:21:36. > :21:42.favourite is. They're not supposed to have favourites. But we noticed

:21:42. > :21:52.this. Oh, no.

:21:52. > :21:53.

:21:53. > :22:00.There's Louis. Look at her go. APPLAUSE

:22:00. > :22:06.It wasn't then. I had some friends in the audience... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

:22:06. > :22:14.We all know what that means. That's been done to me by builders. I've

:22:14. > :22:21.got a shopping list for this. Did you do that in the ballet.

:22:21. > :22:26.Middle of Swan Lake as you're dying. Would you go on the show? No.

:22:26. > :22:30.you not, have you got Two Left Feet? I don't want to know that I'm

:22:31. > :22:34.bad at it. I want to live in a lovely world where "I could do

:22:34. > :22:39.that." You want to dance when you watch the show, don't you? No, I'm

:22:39. > :22:48.quite happy sitting, drinking. Really? That doesn't mar my

:22:48. > :22:54.enjoyment in any way. We mustn't forget your amazing career. This

:22:54. > :22:59.book is still in the shops. that's just come out. There's

:22:59. > :23:02.amazing pictures in here. Like, that's inhuman. How can a person do

:23:03. > :23:07.that. There was no trampoline involved.

:23:07. > :23:13.That's just you and the ground. did that ballet after I had my

:23:13. > :23:19.second child as well. It was very challenging. You probably felt a

:23:19. > :23:24.lot lighter. You didn't have stitches there, did you? Thank you.

:23:24. > :23:28.Clearly an easy birth. That's incredible. This, I love

:23:28. > :23:34.this picture. Capturing this moment... How long after birth was

:23:34. > :23:38.that? Five months after. This, I mean, this is an incredible moment.

:23:38. > :23:42.This is your last ever performance at the opera house. How long was

:23:42. > :23:47.that standing ovation? It felt a long time. I was embarrassed

:23:47. > :23:51.actually. It was eight or nine minutes of just people cheering.

:23:51. > :23:54.was crying my eyes out. It was pathetic. It's nice that you got

:23:54. > :23:59.the impact, like you didn't wake up the next morning and think, oh, my

:23:59. > :24:04.God that was the last night. You got it that's was happening.

:24:04. > :24:10.usually controlled on stage. I totally lost it. I could hardly

:24:10. > :24:13.stand up. There is a quote from Christopher Wheldon, he said "What

:24:13. > :24:23.makes a ballerina like Darcy, a ballerina has a fragrance that

:24:23. > :24:26.

:24:26. > :24:32.lingers off they have left the stage. "I do smell good. We have a

:24:32. > :24:41.picture of someone just checking on that fragrant. Oh, stop.

:24:41. > :24:46.That's art. Now, Paul, we're going to talk

:24:46. > :24:53.about your book. But we just have to talk about the new TV show, well

:24:53. > :24:59.it's finished now, for the love of dogs. OK. That was... Aawwee.

:24:59. > :25:04.were watching me playing. I went in every day and have a ball. I take

:25:04. > :25:10.my Carmi ne out, the boxer I was in love with. This is you at Battersea.

:25:10. > :25:15.Is it true you had it in your contract you didn't take a dog home.

:25:15. > :25:18.Yes, I wanted it to be illegal to take a dog. I would be coming out

:25:18. > :25:22.with puppies under me coat and all sorts. I thought, because I have

:25:22. > :25:27.enough animals. I have three dogs any way. I thought I can't have

:25:27. > :25:37.another one. I did fall at the final post. I got a puppy. So cute.

:25:37. > :25:38.

:25:38. > :25:44.He's lovely, Eddie. He's a Jack-c hi. He's a chihuahua Jack Russell

:25:44. > :25:51.cross. He's a cracking little fella. Heez as hard as nails you know.

:25:51. > :25:55.Jack Russell's are. We have eight dogs. He'll see your four. I have

:25:55. > :26:02.two. The Jack Russell, she's in charge of everybody. We have a wolf

:26:02. > :26:08.as well. We have a wolf called Sid. The Jack Russell is a baby and runs

:26:08. > :26:12.the house. He goes with the pigs. I have eight pigs. I have nine pigs.

:26:13. > :26:18.Have you? I've got nine pigs. 12 pigs but I gave the other as way

:26:18. > :26:25.and then one died. Oh, my evank lean, cost me a fortune. Honestly.

:26:25. > :26:30.Is it true the thing that they all sleep in the bed? Yeah. It is

:26:30. > :26:34.amazing you're a father. They all pile in the bed. They're all coming

:26:34. > :26:38.over soon. Yeah, in the past, we have been known to actually have to

:26:38. > :26:44.get out of our bed, leave the bed to the dogs and go into another

:26:44. > :26:48.room to go to sleep. To go to sleep. Yeah. But there's been eight dogs

:26:48. > :26:55.on and in and around the bed, yeah. Is it true the thing about building

:26:55. > :27:01.the steps? We have doggy steps, yeah. Have you got them? No mine do

:27:01. > :27:06.flying leaps. Six in the morning normally across me face. When they

:27:06. > :27:11.get older and their hips start to go, have you not seen these doggy

:27:11. > :27:17.steps? Listening, Robbie, I have already got a swing on the ceiling,

:27:17. > :27:22.I can't have steps. No it's bad enough. I understand.

:27:22. > :27:27.Dog fans, we have a little treat for you now. Because Paul he's not

:27:27. > :27:33.the only writer here this evening. No, it's time too moat best selling

:27:33. > :27:42.author and star of the Oscar winning film The Artist Uggie is

:27:42. > :27:49.here with his book. There you go. Sit. Nice treats. How are you? Now,

:27:49. > :27:56.watch this. Speak. There you go, baby. He's so good. I'm obsessed by

:27:56. > :28:01.this. No, that's not speaking. Have one.

:28:01. > :28:06.It's so cute. You can have a thing for doing nothing. Very good. I

:28:06. > :28:14.believe you're a big fan of Darcey Bussell, are you? Yes? The

:28:14. > :28:21.fragrance that lingers? Because, no he is. We have a picture of you in

:28:21. > :28:26.Swan Lake. Haven't we? Yes, we do. Now Uggie, I'm not sure if you

:28:26. > :28:34.caught that swan, but I know I have a picture taken by the paparazzi

:28:34. > :28:41.after. I do, yeah. You've lost the weight, haven't you? You've been to

:28:41. > :28:50.the Oscars and now you've written your autobiography. I'm not joking.

:28:50. > :28:56.Uggie has written a book. And I have read it. It's a dog. He

:28:56. > :29:06.doesn't know what I'm saying. So that's Uggie. He'll be appearing in

:29:06. > :29:07.

:29:07. > :29:15.or tied up close to a leading book shop soon. Come down for a sec.

:29:15. > :29:23.Come down, give me the book. Take it. Good boy. There you go.

:29:23. > :29:30.Uggie, everybody! APPLAUSE

:29:30. > :29:38.I want him. So cute. I hope he's in a safe dressing room, that's all I

:29:38. > :29:47.can say. Under the coat. Seen him outside Tottenham Court Road tube

:29:47. > :29:52.station tomorrow - sit. Sweet little dog. Isn't he lovely. It's

:29:52. > :29:56.not just Uggie who's written an autobiography. Paul O'Grady has

:29:56. > :30:04.managed to squeeze another volume. I was bored you see. Three volumes

:30:04. > :30:09.of your life. Yes. This is it, you're up to date. I'll never be up

:30:09. > :30:15.to date. It's a nightmare. You're more or less up to date. You kind

:30:15. > :30:19.of cheat though. Yes. You get to 88 and just skip. About 200 years.

:30:19. > :30:23.it because I mean obviously the books are all about you, but your

:30:23. > :30:28.mother is such a major character throughout them and it's weird

:30:28. > :30:33.because you adored her and she adored you. Don't know about that.

:30:33. > :30:36.What's weird is that she never really knew about Lily. No, she

:30:36. > :30:43.would have killed me I never told her. This huge thing in your life

:30:43. > :30:47.and you never told her No. Wasn't there a moment when lily sold some

:30:47. > :30:52.clothes? Yes we were destitute at the time. It was in the 80s. There

:30:52. > :30:57.wasn't a lot of work around. All the mill towns and mining towns had

:30:57. > :31:06.closed. I thought I would have to sell a load of drag. There was a

:31:06. > :31:09.second hand clothes shop in Church Road in Birkenhead. There was

:31:10. > :31:14.sequined evening gown and I got ten quid for them. My mother stopped

:31:14. > :31:19.and said "Jesus, what kind of woman would wear stuff like that?" A big

:31:19. > :31:25.woman, that's all I'm saying. have you managed to remember

:31:25. > :31:29.everything? I just do. I have, there was a programme on Channel 4

:31:29. > :31:36.about a kid who can remember everything. I can relate to him.

:31:36. > :31:40.I'm the same. I can't remember last week. But I can remember 1970, 1980

:31:40. > :31:45.vividly. That's why it's taken me three. I can't say then I did, then

:31:46. > :31:50.I did that. I go into detail. What the dressing room was like and what

:31:50. > :31:55.the strippers were like. remember that much? Vividly.

:31:55. > :31:59.going to have to lie in mine. I've been to rehab twice. A lot of

:31:59. > :32:04.memories have fallen out. You go on tour to these places several times

:32:04. > :32:07.wouldn't you. Have you written your book yet? No. Are you going to?

:32:07. > :32:11.have a memory of each photograph. That's a nice way of remembering

:32:12. > :32:15.things, if you have a picture it's just like bang. Why don't you for

:32:15. > :32:18.your book, why don't you talk to like your friends and get them to

:32:18. > :32:23.tell stories about what they remember you doing. They were all

:32:23. > :32:27.off their heads too. They don't remember anything.

:32:27. > :32:31.it all together. The great thing about Lily is that she has a whole

:32:31. > :32:38.life, this whole back story, families. A lot of people don't

:32:38. > :32:43.know that Lily was in a convent for some time. Yes she was in a

:32:43. > :32:47.carmelite order. It was St Philomena's of Wigan or the flesh

:32:47. > :32:51.of St Philomena that was flogged off, I don't mean sold on eBay I

:32:51. > :32:56.mean whipped off. How long was she there? Notd very long, three years.

:32:56. > :33:04.That was the maximum. She was only allowed to say two words a year.

:33:04. > :33:09.The first year mother superior says "Say your two words." She said

:33:09. > :33:15."Damp beds." The following year she's asked for the two words. She

:33:15. > :33:19.says "Laosy food." The third year she says "I quit". And mother

:33:19. > :33:22.superior said "Thank fuck for that, you've done nothing but moan since

:33:22. > :33:31.you got here." APPLAUSE

:33:31. > :33:36.The most ridiculous joke. A good joke.

:33:37. > :33:46.Before Robbie sings for us, everyone on this couch tonight has

:33:47. > :33:50.

:33:50. > :33:56.done extraordinary things but only Remove seat belt. Attaboy. That's

:33:56. > :34:06.good. Stand up on the exterior step. Keep your head down. Release the

:34:06. > :34:17.

:34:18. > :34:23.I'm going over. APPLAUSE

:34:23. > :34:26.Yes, it's my final guest, the man who fell to earth, skydiver

:34:26. > :34:36.extraordinaire, Felix Baumgartner. # It's raining men, hallelujah

:34:36. > :34:46.

:34:46. > :34:52.# It's raining men # Have a seat there.

:34:52. > :34:56.How are you? Well, back on the ground. And alive. That's the main

:34:56. > :35:01.thing. Now the whole thing took about eight minutes, didn't it?

:35:01. > :35:06.From when I stepped off I think I had four minutes and 20 seconds of

:35:06. > :35:10.freefall and then four minutes on my parachute. During that time, are

:35:10. > :35:16.you just hoping you aren't going to die? Are you thinking about it? Are

:35:16. > :35:20.you able to go oh, look there's China? I was scared to miss the

:35:20. > :35:27.planet honestly. I bet you were. Do you have time to think about stuff

:35:27. > :35:31.while it's happening? Yeah. We have been practising for many years. We

:35:31. > :35:35.had practice jumps from 70,000 feet, 90,000 feet. I never had a thought

:35:35. > :35:40.I'm going to die. I only thought OK, I hope I break the speed of sound.

:35:40. > :35:45.That's the faster than the speed of sound. So physically, when you

:35:45. > :35:53.break the sound barrier, like does something happen? Do your ears pop,

:35:53. > :35:58.what? What? Does something happen? I didn't feel anything. Are you

:35:58. > :36:06.totally numb? No. I felt like he was going to combust or something.

:36:06. > :36:10.Weren't you scared? There was a lot of talk about that, yah. The first

:36:10. > :36:14.time they were explaining to me what was happen if something goes

:36:14. > :36:18.wrong. You sit there and think, I don't want to know it, you know.

:36:18. > :36:25.Because it's not funny. No, but also, here it is, it's great happen

:36:25. > :36:29.yip ending, lovely, we're here. All going hue ray, that's fantastic.

:36:29. > :36:33.But at what price? I mean your mum and your girlfriend, I mean, what

:36:33. > :36:38.they must have gone through. Yeah, you have seen my mum. I know. She's

:36:38. > :36:42.going through it. Crying and that. When that capsule took off she was

:36:42. > :36:45.crying. Understandably. Does it not make you think twice about doing

:36:45. > :36:48.it? I kind of feel bad to put my mum on that spot and my girlfriend

:36:49. > :36:52.you know. But this is what I was doing the last couple of years.

:36:52. > :36:58.This is what I've been working on so there's no way back. Was it

:36:58. > :37:07.always a dream? Since I was a kid I had a big desire to fly like a bird.

:37:07. > :37:14.What's your actual job? Skydiving. It wasn't like, oh, next Thursday

:37:14. > :37:18.aisle Ogogo up in that balloon. won't be in on Thursday. You do

:37:19. > :37:26.stunts all the time? Not stumps but I have been a professional jumper

:37:26. > :37:31.for many years. I did base jumps from the highest buildings in the

:37:31. > :37:38.world? Illegal jumps? Most of the time. Where was the most dangerous

:37:38. > :37:43.jump that you've done in a town? The first was in 1997, the petronas

:37:43. > :37:48.Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur. I had to dress like a businessman

:37:48. > :37:54.and fake some ID to get access to the building. And I put my parasuit

:37:54. > :37:57.in a suit -- parachute into n a suitcase. I went out on a window

:37:57. > :38:05.washer crane. It's all about the wind as well. If it's windy there's

:38:05. > :38:11.no way to do it. Yeah right run, yeah. She knows a lot about this.

:38:11. > :38:15.She's all over this. Any tips she's your woman. You wax that wind Felix.

:38:15. > :38:19.That could kill you. I'll take you oult for dinner after and we'll

:38:19. > :38:25.talk about wind. She has a fragrance that lingers, I'll tell

:38:25. > :38:30.you. That But like that must be, that feeling

:38:30. > :38:34.must be a very hard one to think, I'm never going to feel that again.,

:38:35. > :38:39.No but you're going to want to do it again, aren't you? No. That's

:38:39. > :38:46.it? You're happy. That's once in a lifetime. You don't want to go

:38:46. > :38:50.higher? Is there another thing that you want to achieve that's similar?

:38:50. > :38:55.Don't chance your luck, you've done it once. I'd say thank you, no more.

:38:55. > :38:58.Every box has been ticked for you now? I think what I want to do in

:38:58. > :39:02.the future is inspire the next generation because I've been

:39:02. > :39:06.getting so many e-mails from e- mails from young kids and people

:39:06. > :39:11.who told me thank you for doing this because we never had our own

:39:11. > :39:17.moon landing and they say this has been like the moon landing now.

:39:17. > :39:23.That's an honour for me. It's a great honour to meet you. If people

:39:23. > :39:27.want to see the full story of the jump, Space Dive it's BBC Two this

:39:27. > :39:31.Sunday at 8.30. It's a big thing which tells the whole story from

:39:31. > :39:34.beginning to end. Thank you so much for coming to see us. Thank you.

:39:34. > :39:41.Really amazing. APPLAUSE

:39:41. > :39:42.OK. It's music time Robbie. If you want to get ready. Off he goes.

:39:42. > :39:49.There he goes. Lovely.

:39:49. > :39:59.CHEERING All right. So here he is performing

:39:59. > :40:04.

:40:04. > :40:14.Candy from the new album Take the Crown, it is Robbie Williams.

:40:14. > :40:17.

:40:17. > :40:19.# I was there to witness Cand ice is in the business

:40:19. > :40:27.# She's got lots of different horses

:40:27. > :40:33.# Lots of different men # I say liberate your sons and

:40:33. > :40:38.daughters # You can give some when they give

:40:38. > :40:42.# Nothing sacred # One, two, three, four, hey hoe,

:40:42. > :40:46.here she goes # Either a little too high, or a

:40:46. > :40:51.little too low, # Low self-esteem or a little too

:40:51. > :40:56.low. She thinks she's made of candy. # Hay ho here she goes,

:40:56. > :40:59.# Either a little too loud or a little too close

:40:59. > :41:02.# Got a hurricane in the back of her throat

:41:02. > :41:06.# And she thinks she's made of candy.

:41:06. > :41:10.# Ring aring of roses, whoever gets the closest

:41:10. > :41:15.# She comes and she goes as the war of the roses

:41:15. > :41:20.# Mother as a victim # Father beat the system by moving

:41:20. > :41:30.bricks to Brixton # Learning how to fix them

:41:30. > :41:34.

:41:34. > :41:39.# Liberate your sons and daughters # The bush is high

:41:39. > :41:42.# But in the whole there's water. # Hay ho, here she goes

:41:42. > :41:45.# Either a little too loud or a little too close

:41:45. > :41:55.# Got a hurricane in the back of her throat

:41:55. > :42:04.

:42:04. > :42:08.# And she thinks she's made of # Liberate your sons and daughters

:42:08. > :42:13.# The bush is high but in the hole there's water

:42:13. > :42:16.# As you win, she'll be the Hollywood love

:42:16. > :42:20.# And if you don't feel good, what are you doing it for?

:42:20. > :42:25.# What are you doing it for? # Everybody, what are you doing it

:42:25. > :42:29.for? # Doing it for

:42:30. > :42:35.# What are you doing it for # What are you doing it for, what

:42:35. > :42:39.are you doing it for. # Hey ho, here she goes,

:42:39. > :42:44.# Either a little too high or a little too low

:42:44. > :42:47.# Low self-esteem and vertigo # She thinks she's made of candy.

:42:47. > :42:49.# Either a little too loud or a little too close

:42:49. > :42:52.# Got a hurricane in the back of her throat

:42:52. > :42:58.# And she thinks she's made of candy.

:42:58. > :43:00.# Hey ho here she goes, low self- esteem and vertigo, she thinks

:43:00. > :43:03.she's made of candy. # Here she goes.

:43:03. > :43:06.# Either a little too loud or a little too close

:43:06. > :43:16.# Got a hurricane in the back of her throat

:43:16. > :43:21.

:43:21. > :43:28.# She thinks she's made of candy. # Robbie Williams everybody!

:43:28. > :43:35.Beautiful. Come back. That was fantastic. Brilliant. Come

:43:35. > :43:40.and sit down. Quick, have a seat. How catchy is that? That is nuts.

:43:40. > :43:44.And it's number one. Right. What a great show. Ladies and gentleman,

:43:44. > :43:49.sadly no time for red chairs tonight. A big thank you to my

:43:49. > :43:57.guests, Paul O'Grady! Darcey Bussell! Felix Baumgartner! And