0:00:02 > 0:00:05There's an Olympic medallist on the show tonight, so we're doing our chat show warm-up exercises.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07- Right, everybody, something funny... - AUDIENCE: Ha, ha!
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- Good. Something touching... - AUDIENCE: Ahh!
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- A mad Daniel Radcliffe fan... - I love you, Daniel!
0:00:12 > 0:00:14- Something exciting... - CHEERING
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Yay, excellent! Let's start the show!
0:00:17 > 0:00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:22 > 0:00:27This programme contains some strong language
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Oh! Oh!
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Hello!
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Hello! Hello, hello!
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Welcome all, welcome all, a great line-up for you tonight.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46As you may have guessed,
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Olympic golden girl Jessica Ennis is here, ladies and gentlemen!
0:00:49 > 0:00:51- CHEERING - I know!
0:00:52 > 0:00:56- The star of stage and screen, Daniel Radcliffe is here. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:57 > 0:01:01- The hilarious Ricky Gervais is on the show! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:01 > 0:01:05Plus we've got music and chat from the brilliant Bruno Mars, everybody!
0:01:05 > 0:01:07CHEERING
0:01:10 > 0:01:12So, looking forward to meeting Jessica Ennis,
0:01:12 > 0:01:15hearing about her gold medal-winning exploits.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Jessica has such a rigorous training routine, yeah.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22Now, there she is in a wheelie bin full of iced water. Oh, dear!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Although, you've got to be careful. Here she is, two minutes later...
0:01:25 > 0:01:27LAUGHTER
0:01:27 > 0:01:29"Oh, I forgot it's Thursday!"
0:01:30 > 0:01:35Jessica's next big event is the 2014 Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- There's Glasgow... - LAUGHTER
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Here's Jessica, finding out where it is...
0:01:39 > 0:01:41LAUGHTER
0:01:41 > 0:01:43"Nooo!"
0:01:43 > 0:01:46During the Olympics, the papers covered all seven of her events,
0:01:46 > 0:01:50focusing on the most important aspect of each one.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51The 800 metres,
0:01:51 > 0:01:52the high jump,
0:01:52 > 0:01:54the shot put...
0:01:54 > 0:01:57They really covered it, they really did.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Mind you, not the only famous arse of the Olympics.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Eh, eh! Yeah.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Look at him there, thinking to himself,
0:02:07 > 0:02:10"As soon as the Paralympics are over,
0:02:10 > 0:02:12"I'm cutting disability allowance."
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Let's get some guests on!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Later on, we'll be having a musical chat with Bruno Mars!
0:02:17 > 0:02:22But first, he's the genius behind An Idiot Abroad,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24it's Ricky Gervais!
0:02:24 > 0:02:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Whoa, whoa!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Hello, sir. Welcome back.- Thank you. - Have a seat.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36It's a personal best for me, I've got Jessica Ennis!
0:02:36 > 0:02:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:38 > 0:02:42Oh, golden, golden! Hello, darling.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Thank you so much for coming on.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Mwah, mwah, sit yourself down.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48And we're going to try to get through the whole show
0:02:48 > 0:02:49without mentioning Harry Potter - oh, no -
0:02:49 > 0:02:51it's Daniel Radcliffe, everybody!
0:02:51 > 0:02:53- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Hey!
0:02:54 > 0:02:56How are you? Good to see you.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07- Oh! Hello, all.- Hello.- Hi.- Hello. - Hi, hi. You're all very welc...
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Well, I say, Ricky, welcome back. Daniel, welcome back.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- Jessica, you haven't been on the show before.- No.
0:03:12 > 0:03:17- But you nearly did, and then you missed out.- I was absolutely gutted.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20It was before the Olympics, so I had to train and prepare...
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Oh, that...
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Yeah, yeah, yeah...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I hope it was worth it(!)
0:03:24 > 0:03:27You were going to meet Will Smith, weren't you?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- Will Smith was on the show. - Oh, I was so gutted.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35- I was so excited and then I had to turn it down.- And now she's got us.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- Yeah.- Unlucky!
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Showbiz tip, don't talk about people you prefer
0:03:40 > 0:03:43in front of famous actors and comedians.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45No, the Olympics was an amazing summer.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47You guys, presumably, like everyone else, you watched?
0:03:47 > 0:03:52- My favourite, ever. Really.- Oh, Olympics?- Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Oh, good. I'm glad you liked it.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Ricky, you do running and kick-boxing and all sorts now, don't you?
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Well, I always did, I just, um... I just did it once a year, or...
0:04:02 > 0:04:04LAUGHTER
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- Now I do it every day.- No, cos... It's the body beautiful, now.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09- Well, hardly.- No, there's been pictures...
0:04:09 > 0:04:12It's all relative, you wouldn't be saying it if I'd always been, you know...
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- There's pictures of you looking gorgeous.- What you're saying is
0:04:15 > 0:04:19- I used to be a horrendous, fat... - CHEERING AND WHOOPING
0:04:19 > 0:04:20No, OK, listen. Right.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23No, I can explain that photo.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28That was the day of the Golden Globes... I don't mean in my pants.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30LAUGHTER
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Come on...! Grow up.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35No, that was the day of the Golden Globes and I'd been on Ellen,
0:04:35 > 0:04:38you know, the big chat show in America, yeah, and she gave me
0:04:38 > 0:04:41those gold lame pants and said, "Will you wear these?"
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Now, I didn't want to wear them for the Golden Globes,
0:04:43 > 0:04:46because they're uncomfortable. They're way too small for me.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Even if I say so myself.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51I looked like an action man after I'd put them on.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52And so I took a picture.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55That's the Four Seasons in LA, I took a picture to send her.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58And the thing is, after the Golden Globes,
0:04:58 > 0:05:01me and my girlfriend went back to the hotel,
0:05:01 > 0:05:03we had a bottle of champagne that they'd put up there,
0:05:03 > 0:05:05"Well done, congratulations...",
0:05:05 > 0:05:09and the next day, we flew to New York.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Now, those shorts were so small that when I took them off, they ripped.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16So in the bin, that I left behind in the hotel,
0:05:16 > 0:05:21was some ripped gold lame hot pants and an empty bottle of champagne.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23LAUGHTER
0:05:23 > 0:05:25What did that look like?!
0:05:25 > 0:05:29And Daniel, you're not shy about showing us your body.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- No, I do it all the time now.- Yes.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Every job I do, I seem to be getting naked.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37- Yeah, you got naked with a horse, didn't you?- I did, yeah.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Maybe you should explain that!
0:05:40 > 0:05:42I've spent enough time explaining that!
0:05:42 > 0:05:48No, yeah, I think, um, every film I've done this year, I've had to
0:05:48 > 0:05:49get at least partially naked in.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53It's weird, because it's one thing about strangers seeing you,
0:05:53 > 0:05:56because then you're an actor, but when your FRIENDS see you...
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Yeah, but... - Never mind friends - MUM?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01No, but... I don't know, like,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04I ran the lines for the show with my mum and dad, so they knew, like...
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- Yeah, but you had your clothes on when you are doing that.- Yes.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11LAUGHTER
0:06:11 > 0:06:14"I can't do it properly, Mum, unless..."
0:06:14 > 0:06:15"This is an undress rehearsal."
0:06:15 > 0:06:19I don't know, it was... They knew what I was getting myself into,
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- so I guess...- Well, they've known it all their life, haven't they?
0:06:22 > 0:06:24And do you stay in shape?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- Cos you look quite ripped in pictures of you.- Um, that was...
0:06:27 > 0:06:29WOMEN: Woo!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Black and white, why didn't I do black and white? - LAUGHTER
0:06:32 > 0:06:35That's where you're going wrong. Low angle, too.
0:06:35 > 0:06:40Um...but, er... Yeah, I mean, the first time I've been told to...
0:06:40 > 0:06:44The film I've just done, Horns, was the first time I've been told to... RICKY SNIGGERS
0:06:44 > 0:06:45..get in shape for something.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Can you tell them to grow up? LAUGHTER
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Well, I wasn't expecting it.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53That's fantastic.
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Yeah, it's called Horns, and I...
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- HE LAUGHS:- Don't say it again!
0:06:57 > 0:07:00I'm going to be saying it a lot when I'm promoting it.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02They may have changed the name of it, by then.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05We're doing some audience research right now.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- They've changed it to The Horn. - Yeah.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11And, yeah, so that was the first time a director has told me
0:07:11 > 0:07:14to get in the gym and sort of... and be...
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Anyway, we're talking about bodies,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18and no-one could compete with Jessica Ennis.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- The body. - CHEERING
0:07:20 > 0:07:21I mean, look at that.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- So, if you did slip out of your gown now... - LAUGHTER
0:07:28 > 0:07:30..do you look like that now?
0:07:30 > 0:07:35Um...maybe a little bit smoother round here. Only a little bit.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Maybe it's a four pack and not a six pack.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41You just won a poll, didn't you, best celebrity body?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- Apparently, yeah.- Yeah.- It's mad.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46But it's good, because it's sporting figure that out there now,
0:07:46 > 0:07:51which is a nice kind of image to put out there, as opposed to
0:07:51 > 0:07:55the really stick, skinny women that we see all the time, so it's good.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56- Because originally... - CHEERING
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- Yeah.- Yes.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00APPLAUSE
0:08:00 > 0:08:02It shows how things have changed,
0:08:02 > 0:08:05because wasn't it one of the big stumbling blocks for you, personally,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08going into athletics, was you didn't WANT to look like that.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Yeah, definitely.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11When you're an athlete starting out, you know,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14you're a young girl of 14, 15, and you're told to go in the gym
0:08:14 > 0:08:17and you've got to lift weights and you've got to be stronger.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19It's not what your friends are doing
0:08:19 > 0:08:21and what you want to do at that age,
0:08:21 > 0:08:24so it was a time when I was kind of, like, is this what I want to do,
0:08:24 > 0:08:28and is it going to help me, is it the way I want to look?
0:08:28 > 0:08:31But now, if it's the chance of winning an Olympic gold medal,
0:08:31 > 0:08:33then it's something I definitely want to do.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35And actually... Is that it?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- It is, yes.- Oh, can we see the medal?- Yes.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42- AUDIENCE: Ooh!- Oh! See, we're so excited. It's an Olympic medal!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Yeah... I nearly left it in the dressing room.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Oh! Yeah!
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Can I lift it? How heavy? - It's heavy.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53- Oh, that IS heavy.- That's amazing.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I think you should say, they asked you to bring it,
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- you don't carry that round with you all the time.- Yeah!
0:08:58 > 0:09:02Every cab you get in, "Oh, can I see the medal?"
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Can I just say, that's just the same medal that everyone...?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I mean, GOLD medal that everyone...
0:09:07 > 0:09:11- If you win something, you get a gold medal.- Yeah, not everyone gets one! - LAUGHTER
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- If you take part! - We're all winners!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17No, I just kind of think, cos you did SEVEN events...
0:09:17 > 0:09:21If you run 100 metres and win, you get that. You did seven events,
0:09:21 > 0:09:23it took you two days. I think they should amalgamate them
0:09:23 > 0:09:26and give you a big gold bin lid, or something.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- It should be bigger for seven events!- Well, it's pretty big.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- I feel cheated on your behalf. - Do you?- Yeah, cheated.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34You're one of the only people I've met
0:09:34 > 0:09:36who is not impressed by a gold medal. LAUGHTER
0:09:36 > 0:09:38"Everyone gets one of them,
0:09:38 > 0:09:40"everyone, they hand them out when you walk through."
0:09:40 > 0:09:45I squealed backstage, when I saw that. I made a noise, I went, "Argh!"
0:09:45 > 0:09:49And I love that they give you a little case, and everything.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51I know, and they tell you how to look after it,
0:09:51 > 0:09:53what you should do to clean it.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I'll throw it to you! There you go! Well done!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57New one?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Is there cleaning kit, and stuff?
0:09:59 > 0:10:01No, no cleaning kit, just a guideline.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- You have to get the stuff yourself? - Where's the guideline?
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Do you want me to show you? It's really not interesting!
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Tragically, I am interested.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10We're all interested in the inside of this case.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13"Use a nonabrasive surface..." What does it say?
0:10:13 > 0:10:14"It has been designed
0:10:14 > 0:10:17"and manufactured to the highest standards...
0:10:17 > 0:10:19"Handle your medal with care." OK, here we go. Yeah, I was right -
0:10:19 > 0:10:22"Avoid any sort of impact or ABRASION..."
0:10:22 > 0:10:23LAUGHTER
0:10:23 > 0:10:25"..always try to carry it in its box..." Hello?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27LAUGHTER
0:10:27 > 0:10:29"Only clean it using a soft, dry cloth,
0:10:29 > 0:10:31"preferably cotton or soft muslin."
0:10:33 > 0:10:36This is really specific, isn't it? Yeah.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38"Do not use any liquids, chemicals or abrasive substances
0:10:38 > 0:10:40"when cleaning it."
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- Wow.- Interesting stuff.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44It sounds like there's not that much gold on it...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48DROWNED OUT BY LAUGHTER
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Apparently, it's lead.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Nonabrasive surfaces!
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Well, thank you very much for bringing that in. It's just...
0:10:58 > 0:11:02- What an amazing thing to have.- Thank you.- Right, now, Daniel Radcliffe.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07What I love about you, is you can't second-guess what you're going to do next.
0:11:07 > 0:11:12- Thank you.- Well, you leave the most financially successful film franchise of all time, and then,
0:11:12 > 0:11:14you know, you could have done anything.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18But you've done, you know, plays, musicals, you did a horror movie,
0:11:18 > 0:11:23and now you're on TV but doing something really specific.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24It is quite bizarre.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28But it's excellent, it's Sky Arts 1, tell us what you're doing.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Um, it's a thing called A Young Doctor's Notebook.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33It is very hard to describe.
0:11:33 > 0:11:38Basically, it's a medical comedy set in Russia in 1917. It's based on...
0:11:38 > 0:11:40LAUGHTER We all know those!
0:11:40 > 0:11:44It's... My character...is...
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Simply, in the script, is called "young doctor".
0:11:47 > 0:11:50He arrives at this very remote hospital,
0:11:50 > 0:11:54and he's kind of just dumped there and he has two cope with
0:11:54 > 0:11:58an array of patients suffering from, you know, legs that need to be chopped off
0:11:58 > 0:12:01and throats that need to be operated on,
0:12:01 > 0:12:03and a syphilis epidemic...
0:12:03 > 0:12:06None of it sounds funny. However... LAUGHTER
0:12:06 > 0:12:08..it is, in fact...
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- It's VERY funny.- It's very funny and it's all seen through the eyes...
0:12:11 > 0:12:12The book is very funny
0:12:12 > 0:12:16and the way the show has kind of been set up is that you're seeing
0:12:16 > 0:12:21myself and John Hamm play the same character at different stages of his life,
0:12:21 > 0:12:23older and younger,
0:12:23 > 0:12:27and he is sort of remembering his own life, and so I'm a figment,
0:12:27 > 0:12:31sort of, his memory. And he's interacting with himself, which allows us
0:12:31 > 0:12:35to have some quite funny interchanges as he watches his young self.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Cos that's the thing, it's really Russian.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Oh, yeah, it is, and the other thing that's worth saying, is it's extremely bloodied.
0:12:42 > 0:12:47Like, there are no punches pulled on the leg amputation or the tracheotomies.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- Yes, the blood budget was used. - Yes, that was, yeah...
0:12:51 > 0:12:52But it was worth it.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56And the syphilis thing, cos there's an awful lot...
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Drip, drip, drip... I mean, it's...
0:12:59 > 0:13:02It sounds just like Dad's Army.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05It is classic... It is classic British comedy.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07That's the thing, it kind of is!
0:13:07 > 0:13:11You know the scene where you're telling a whole family they've got syphilis...
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Yeah, it's one of my favourite scenes. I get to tell a mother
0:13:13 > 0:13:15and two young children that they all have syphilis.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- How did they ALL get it? - Well, it's, it's...
0:13:18 > 0:13:19You don't just get it like that.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Oh.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24LAUGHTER
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Are you a real doctor now, are you? - It's infectious!
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Woo!
0:13:30 > 0:13:31He's qualified now!
0:13:31 > 0:13:34He's not only a foot taller, but he's a qualified doctor!
0:13:34 > 0:13:37LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:39 > 0:13:44We've got a clip from A Young Doctor's Notebook.
0:13:44 > 0:13:50- This is your first labour. - Delivering my first baby. Yeah.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53I really might need to know this, one day.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55WOMAN GROANS
0:13:55 > 0:14:00Um, so, the midwife tells me travelled all the way from Dultsevo.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- Is that far?- It's a small village, just outside Grabelovka.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- Grabelovka?- It's not far from Kakhovka! - WOMAN GROANING
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Oh, yes! Where I get off the train. Of course.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Sorry, I'm new to the area. I don't know where anything is. WOMAN GROANS
0:14:11 > 0:14:13No, no, geographically! Of course, I mean,
0:14:13 > 0:14:15obviously I know a transverse lie when I see one,
0:14:15 > 0:14:17and this is one - well done, Ella.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Um...
0:14:19 > 0:14:23So, what we have here, as I've just explained, is a transverse lie,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25which means we must perform...
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- ..a podalic version? - A podalic version, yes, correct.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35A procedure whereby the foetus is manually turned within the womb.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Well done, Pelagea. So, let's perform it. Looked lively.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42- What are we waiting for?- Feldsher, prepare the chloroform.- Of course.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47Yes, feldsher, you do the chloroform, and Anna, you do...that. WOMAN WHIMPERS
0:14:47 > 0:14:52And, um, er, yes, you, you just wait there. And, um, I will... WOMAN GROANS
0:14:52 > 0:14:54I will go and get my cigarettes.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:59 > 0:15:03And A Young Doctor's Notebook is on Sky Arts 1 on Thursdays at 9pm.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07But in terms of gore and stuff, because, Jessica, in athletics,
0:15:07 > 0:15:11in one of your events, the javelin, that's an accident waiting...
0:15:11 > 0:15:15you're throwing a spear in a populated area!
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- It's dangerous. - Have you ever hit anybody?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19I'VE never hit anyone.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21But there was...
0:15:21 > 0:15:24there's a decathlete called Roman Sebrle,
0:15:24 > 0:15:25and, yeah, someone was throwing,
0:15:25 > 0:15:28and he was on the side of the track doing long jump,
0:15:28 > 0:15:29and it went in his shoulder.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31It went through him, yeah.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33And, literally, he is just so hardcore, this man,
0:15:33 > 0:15:36he just went, "Rrrah!" And ripped it out.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37And he was fine!
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- HE LAUGHS - Absolutely fine!
0:15:40 > 0:15:43- It was so true! - "Get me Dr Radcliffe!"
0:15:43 > 0:15:46LAUGHTER
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Jessica Ennis, not content
0:15:51 > 0:15:54with running, jumping, and throwing,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56has now started typing!
0:15:56 > 0:15:57You've done a book, Unbelievable.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59And it IS unbelievable,
0:15:59 > 0:16:02because the amount of sacrifice and training,
0:16:02 > 0:16:06and then the level of achievement, is extraordinary.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08But, I must say, there's no point where you think,
0:16:08 > 0:16:11"Oh, I might do that." I mean, it just...
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Do you feel that it's all been worth it?
0:16:13 > 0:16:18Of course, yeah. It's just, this whole year has been...unbelievable!
0:16:18 > 0:16:21No, it's been incredible, the whole journey.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22And it's not just been this year,
0:16:22 > 0:16:24it's been the past few years.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26You know, having an injury in 2008,
0:16:26 > 0:16:28and coming back from that to this position.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30You know, I would never have imagined
0:16:30 > 0:16:31that I would get this point.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Cos you talk about sacrifice and stuff,
0:16:34 > 0:16:36but unless you're reading this,
0:16:36 > 0:16:38you don't quite get the level of sacrifice.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40That you're COMPLETELY focused.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42It's kind of, if you need to eat, you need to eat.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44If you need to sleep you need to sleep.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46You travel, you're training,
0:16:46 > 0:16:48and the other odd thing, I don't know if you know,
0:16:48 > 0:16:52the drug testers can just show up at your house whenever they want.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Yeah, you have to...it's a good system we have in this country.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58You have to provide an hour of every day
0:16:58 > 0:17:00that you are going to be in one place.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02So I have mine in the morning.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03So it's six or seven in the morning,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06because I know, pretty much, I'll always be in bed.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Also, the drugs will have worn off by then.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11LAUGHTER
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Laughing too hard, Jessica! Laughing too hard!
0:17:15 > 0:17:17LAUGHTER
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Oh, God! ANYWAY...
0:17:19 > 0:17:22..and they can literally test you any time as well.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24So they can turn up whenever they want.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27But I guess my favourite bit in the book
0:17:27 > 0:17:30is you talking about running the 800m,
0:17:30 > 0:17:34and what you got from that crowd of 80,000 people.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37It was, honestly, like nothing I've ever experienced before.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Stepping into the stadium for the first time for the hurdles,
0:17:40 > 0:17:44and then finally for the 800, the crowds was so loud.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46And on that final 200m,
0:17:46 > 0:17:49two of the girls kind of overtook me,
0:17:49 > 0:17:51and they kind of gave me a bit of momentum
0:17:51 > 0:17:54to carry me with them, and the crowd just went wild.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56I've never, ever heard anything like it.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Cos you didn't have to win.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00You could have lost by 15 seconds, couldn't you, and still won?
0:18:00 > 0:18:04Yeah, I had a good gap, but I wanted to finish it off properly.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05And the Russian girl...
0:18:05 > 0:18:08APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:18:11 > 0:18:13The Russian girl, Tatyana Chernova,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16she'd beaten me previously in the year in the 800,
0:18:16 > 0:18:18and she'd gone to the press and said,
0:18:18 > 0:18:20"I can still beat her in the 800."
0:18:20 > 0:18:22So as she came past me, I thought, "No, not this time!
0:18:22 > 0:18:26"Not this time!" And I wanted to celebrate and enjoy that moment.
0:18:26 > 0:18:31I suppose it's happened quite fast, because even before the Olympics,
0:18:31 > 0:18:32we knew your name, but it was only really
0:18:32 > 0:18:35in the build-up to the Olympics where, suddenly, you were the face,
0:18:35 > 0:18:39and those posters were everywhere. Was that very odd for you?
0:18:39 > 0:18:40Yeah, very strange.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Because, you know, I was just doing what I do every year,
0:18:43 > 0:18:46competing and training, and then suddenly, it's Olympic year
0:18:46 > 0:18:48and it's in London, and everyone knows about it.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52And, yeah, I was part of a lot of ad campaigns going into that,
0:18:52 > 0:18:54which was great fun, but really, really surreal.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57You know, driving to training and seeing posters round my city.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Coming to London and seeing, you know, big billboards and stuff.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02It was madness, really.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Was there a time when you were sort of cheating on your diet?
0:19:04 > 0:19:06- SHE LAUGHS - Well, yeah!
0:19:06 > 0:19:07I drove down from my house,
0:19:07 > 0:19:09I was going to go and get some chips,
0:19:09 > 0:19:11some fish and chips, like you do.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14And, yeah, there was this massive Powerade poster of me
0:19:14 > 0:19:17doing these crunches, like, really sweating.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20You know, working really hard, and I thought, "I cannot go in there!"
0:19:20 > 0:19:23So I turned around and went to the supermarket!
0:19:23 > 0:19:27I couldn't! Can you imagine coming out with a bag of chips?
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Next to that? It's not a good look!
0:19:30 > 0:19:33And what's it like now?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36I mean, can you walk around, or are you bothered a lot?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Yeah, a lot of people come up to me now, and it's lovely,
0:19:38 > 0:19:40because everyone's congratulating me
0:19:40 > 0:19:43and, you know, it's been really surreal, more than anything.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Cos you get proposals through the post now, don't you?
0:19:46 > 0:19:48I've had lots of things on Twitter.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Do they want to marry you?
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Yeah, lots of marriage proposals, but I'm engaged! I keep saying!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56But it's not putting them off, is it?
0:19:56 > 0:19:58I know! Very strange people!
0:19:58 > 0:20:00And do they send you things?
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Erm, I've been sent, yeah, lots of weird things.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05I suppose the weirdest was this man used to make these little,
0:20:05 > 0:20:08like, models of me.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- Like...- Whoa!!
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Like, little cardboard...
0:20:13 > 0:20:15well, no, wooden cut-outs.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16This is an episode of CSI!
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- I'm sure I've seen this one! - It's the beginning of one!
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- They were quite good, though. - LAUGHTER
0:20:23 > 0:20:27They started off really small, and then he sent me this big one!
0:20:27 > 0:20:28I've made now!
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Cos, Ricky, you talked about how you don't go to pubs anymore, and...
0:20:33 > 0:20:37Well, no, I, um....I go out.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41I go to restaurants and things, but pubs is the dangerous bit,
0:20:41 > 0:20:42because people, when they've had a few,
0:20:42 > 0:20:44they end up a little bit braver,
0:20:44 > 0:20:47and they don't quite understand that you're having a quiet drink.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50And the worst is Brits abroad. They're the worst.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Listen to this, everyone!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55No, no, they're all lovely, but they say,
0:20:55 > 0:20:57"All right, man! What are you doing?
0:20:57 > 0:21:00"We're having a beer if you want to come and join us."
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I'll go, "Er...I'm with friends at the moment."
0:21:03 > 0:21:05And they'll go, "No? We'll be here for a while."
0:21:05 > 0:21:07I'll go, "I'm all right."
0:21:07 > 0:21:10And any minute, they'll go, "You've changed."
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Well, not really.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14I didn't used to go for a beer with strangers before I was famous.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16So it's always an awkward moment when you say, "No, thank you."
0:21:16 > 0:21:20But once, I was in the West End, and this guy came up to me,
0:21:20 > 0:21:22he was a backpacker, I think.
0:21:22 > 0:21:23He was a European guy.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25And he went, "Oh, my God!
0:21:25 > 0:21:28"I was going to buy your book for you to sign.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30"I haven't bought it yet."
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I went, "Oh."
0:21:32 > 0:21:35He went, "Will you come with me to buy it?"
0:21:35 > 0:21:36I've had that!
0:21:36 > 0:21:38I went, "No."
0:21:38 > 0:21:40And he was going,
0:21:40 > 0:21:43"Mmm, there's Waterstones."
0:21:43 > 0:21:46I go, "No, I'm not coming with you to buy my book."
0:21:46 > 0:21:49I said, "I'll sign something," and he was looking through...
0:21:49 > 0:21:52he found, like, a tube...and he kept looking, and I said,
0:21:52 > 0:21:55"I'm NOT coming with you to buy my book!
0:21:55 > 0:21:58"It's a no! I'll sign ANYTHING!"
0:21:58 > 0:22:01But it's hard, because they think, "Why wouldn't you?
0:22:01 > 0:22:05"I'm not going to meet you again, so this is my opportunity."
0:22:05 > 0:22:06Yeah, exactly. That's the thing.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09I was watching you tonight, Daniel, when you're outside,
0:22:09 > 0:22:10with the guys behind the railings,
0:22:10 > 0:22:12you were signing the autographs.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Did someone, when you started out, sit you down,
0:22:15 > 0:22:16some experienced actor,
0:22:16 > 0:22:19and kind of said, "OK, this is how you deal with this.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- "This is the way to behave."- No.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- You just... - You just kind of learn as you go,
0:22:23 > 0:22:26because it's terrifying for the first little while.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28It's really scary and intimidating.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32Because that's the thing, because sometimes if you don't sign,
0:22:32 > 0:22:33they'll boo. Like, loud.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36And when you're 11 and 12, that's really kind of...
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- AUDIENCE AWS - That's crazy!
0:22:39 > 0:22:41It's funny, though!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Booing to a child! "Boo!"
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Like Shirley Temple! - HE SOBS
0:22:46 > 0:22:49So for a while, it used to really freak me out,
0:22:49 > 0:22:54but I think it's something you get a lot better at and more used to.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57But it's also kind of great, because sometimes...
0:22:57 > 0:23:01that's the thing, sometimes you say things that you're like...
0:23:01 > 0:23:03to somebody I'm meeting for the first time,
0:23:03 > 0:23:07I would sound like a massive narcissist,
0:23:07 > 0:23:10but because of how crazy parts of my life has been,
0:23:10 > 0:23:11it's just the case.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13So the other day I said to somebody,
0:23:13 > 0:23:16when they asked me to sign their arm,
0:23:16 > 0:23:20I now say to people, "Please don't get this tattooed."
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Which sounds insane and egotistical,
0:23:23 > 0:23:26but I met the girl who got my horrible signature tattooed.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31There's a guy who's got Brent on his...
0:23:31 > 0:23:34like, the whole thing...Brent!
0:23:34 > 0:23:37I mean, not even a cool guy like me. It's just me going...
0:23:37 > 0:23:39and it's massive!
0:23:39 > 0:23:44But, yeah, so it is very strange.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Well, you may want to thank your fans after tonight, Daniel,
0:23:46 > 0:23:50- because they may be giving you your next film.- OK.
0:23:50 > 0:23:55Because there is a website called Simply Daniel Radcliffe Fan Fiction.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- OK.- And what happens on here... - Wow, great!
0:23:59 > 0:24:03- Have you been to this yet, Dan? - Um, I actually didn't go on it.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05- Somebody...- Well, don't worry.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07We're bringing you here now.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11OK, so there you are. "Unleash your heart to the world of Radcliffe."
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Simply Daniel Radcliffe Fan Fiction.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Right, here we go. This one's called Cabin Fever.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Oh, Christ!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Here's the plot synopsis:
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Brilliant!
0:24:33 > 0:24:36It's not even, like...I like the way
0:24:36 > 0:24:38it's not even, like, fantasy fiction.
0:24:38 > 0:24:44It's what it would be like if we met and they hated me.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Yeah, "I don't like him much."
0:24:45 > 0:24:48"I don't like him, hypothetically."
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- But then, obviously, you grow to love each other, I'm sure.- Oh, OK!
0:24:51 > 0:24:53- Well, I hope so! - This one's called Distant Hearts.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04LAUGHTER Jesus!
0:25:04 > 0:25:05That might be the whole film.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Or maybe you teach her to walk again.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09Something like that.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12- I hope so!- Grace...this is Solo.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26God, I don't like myself in ANY of this!
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Not to worry, they love you in all of them.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31OK, very quickly, very quickly.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Which one will he choose?!
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- Aw!- It's tricky!
0:25:47 > 0:25:51They are very special. Thank you, everybody who writes them.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54We thought we'd freak them out by putting in...
0:25:54 > 0:25:56- Oh, have you done one? - We CAN put one in.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58- Oh, come on!- Oh, OK.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01So let's make it about you and Jessica.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- OK, yeah.- Yeah.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07What shall we call it? Olympic something. Olympic..?
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Olympic...Porn? No.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11Olympic World.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15Daniel is an astronaut, and he wants to start a new colony of people,
0:26:15 > 0:26:17so he finds the perfect woman...
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Wait, wait, wait! I've got to write this down!
0:26:20 > 0:26:23This is great! OK. Olympic...
0:26:24 > 0:26:26- ..World.- Daniel wants to find his perfect woman.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28I've got to put authors in yet! Hang on!
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Don't put my name to this!
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Don't you dare put my name to this!
0:26:34 > 0:26:37No, I'm a professional writer!
0:26:37 > 0:26:41..Ennis...D Radcliffe...
0:26:43 > 0:26:46and Graham Norton.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50It's my show.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54OK, so the story is...what is it?
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Daniel Radcliffe's an astronaut?
0:26:56 > 0:26:59He's an astronaut, but he realises that Earth has only got a few years,
0:26:59 > 0:27:03so he's got to go to another planet and start the human race again.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04Hang on! I've only got to "spaceman,"
0:27:04 > 0:27:07cos I can't spell "astronaut."
0:27:07 > 0:27:09"Daniel is a spaceman."
0:27:09 > 0:27:13LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:13 > 0:27:16He is starting another world
0:27:16 > 0:27:24so he brings the perfect woman.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27It's called 'Ad 'Em and Leave.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31- Oh! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:33 > 0:27:36..Ennis...will they...
0:27:36 > 0:27:40be able to breathe?
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Dot, dot, dot.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46His co-pilot, given to him,
0:27:46 > 0:27:48is Lt. Norton...
0:27:50 > 0:27:51..who has other plans.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:59 > 0:28:02I'm submitting it, I'm submitting it! "Add story." There we go.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Lovely. That'll be on the site now. Just enjoy that.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Written by all of us. Very good. OK!
0:28:07 > 0:28:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Ricky, you've come all the way from Scandinavia to join us.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Yes, I'm back and forth.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19I'm doing a bit of a European Tour at the moment.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23What's that based...is it The Office, or is it Extras,
0:28:23 > 0:28:26- or is it all of it? - Um, no, it's my stand-up.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30But I haven't released it there, so it's like my greatest hits.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Ah, and you have to change it for them?
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Some people call it money for old rope!
0:28:34 > 0:28:36I don't have to change it, no.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39You know, a lot of Europe, particularly Scandinavia,
0:28:39 > 0:28:40speak perfect English.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43They're really smart. They get everything.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46And talking of abroad, An Idiot Abroad.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49This is the third series, and it's on Sky at the moment?
0:28:49 > 0:28:50That's right, yeah.
0:28:50 > 0:28:53And this time, Karl is travelling with your pal, Warwick Davis.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55- Exactly.- Christ! I didn't know that!
0:28:55 > 0:28:57- Yeah.- Why have you done that to Warwick?!
0:28:57 > 0:29:00- It's amazing! Warwick was up for it. - I bet he was!
0:29:00 > 0:29:01When I first pitched it to Karl, I said,
0:29:01 > 0:29:04"It's slightly different this time.
0:29:04 > 0:29:08"It's you going round on a bike with Warwick in the basket."
0:29:10 > 0:29:12And Karl went, "So I'm doing all the fucking pedalling?"
0:29:12 > 0:29:15LAUGHTER
0:29:15 > 0:29:17There they are.
0:29:17 > 0:29:21But actually, what's funny about it is that Warwick is so...
0:29:21 > 0:29:22Warwick's loving it!
0:29:22 > 0:29:25Warwick is the least complaining person I have ever met.
0:29:25 > 0:29:28- Absolutely, yeah. - Every day he came to work on Potter,
0:29:28 > 0:29:30he had a full head prosthetic.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32Not just full face, but full head, that he was just enclosed in.
0:29:32 > 0:29:35It was three hours to get in and two and a half to get off,
0:29:35 > 0:29:38and he was in it the entire day for ten years, and he never said a word.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40And Karl was taking the Mickey out of him for that.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43He said, "No-one knows who you are. You're always covered up.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46"For all I know, you could have been the bin on 3-2-1."
0:29:46 > 0:29:49APPLAUSE
0:29:52 > 0:29:57Karl is also in your new baby Derek,
0:29:57 > 0:29:59that starts on Channel 4 in the new year.
0:29:59 > 0:30:03Yeah, I'm finishing it this week.
0:30:03 > 0:30:07It's myself and Karl and obviously lots of others,
0:30:07 > 0:30:11and it's set in an old people's home.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15Because there was... People thought... People pre-judged it.
0:30:15 > 0:30:20It was controversial before it happened and people saw the pilot and thought it was sweet.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23Exactly. It got bad reviews before anyone had seen it. That was great.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26Then they saw it and said, "Yeah, it's all right."
0:30:26 > 0:30:33It's sweet. People assume it's going to be cutting and cynical and cruel.
0:30:33 > 0:30:38You know, they thought about Life's Too Short. They thought Life's Too Short was going to be...
0:30:38 > 0:30:40They think it about An Idiot Abroad.
0:30:40 > 0:30:45Well it's not hidden camera. Warwick knows what's happening.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47People are worried about taboo.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50If there's any mention of any disability
0:30:50 > 0:30:52they think that they're the butt of the joke.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56They're not. It's people's attitudes that are butt of the joke.
0:30:56 > 0:30:59Eventually people get it when they see it.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02A lot of it is people not seeing it and assuming stuff.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05I saw the pilot of Derek and I really liked it,
0:31:05 > 0:31:09It was lovely. It was sweet and warm. I look forward to the series.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11We have a clip of the new series.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18- You fixing the table?- Uh-huh.
0:31:18 > 0:31:19Wobbly leg?
0:31:19 > 0:31:21Wobbly leg.
0:31:25 > 0:31:30OK. Derek. Douglas.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32All right. Jesus.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38- Knackered aren't we?- Mm.- Why?
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Why? Because we've been having sexual intercourse
0:31:41 > 0:31:43since yesterday afternoon.
0:31:43 > 0:31:46- Have we not?- Yeah. - Non-stop body rock.- Mm.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50- Was I good?- Absolutely.- There you go. Straight from the horse's mouth.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53- No offence.- It's OK.- On your way.
0:31:53 > 0:31:57Thank you. Enjoyed that. Very nice.
0:31:59 > 0:32:00Happy with that.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06Just give my little balls a bit of breathing space.
0:32:08 > 0:32:09APPLAUSE
0:32:13 > 0:32:16All right. It's time to meet my final guest tonight.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19Last year this man was the biggest selling artist in the world.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22Ladies and gentleman, he's out of this world, it's Bruno Mars!
0:32:22 > 0:32:24APPLAUSE
0:32:26 > 0:32:32Hello, good to see you. Have a seat. There's Daniel, Jessica, Ricky.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36Nice to meet you.
0:32:36 > 0:32:41- Hello, sir, how are you?- I'm good. - You are good, aren't you? Wow.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43Because you've got your new album out,
0:32:43 > 0:32:46- which is called Unorthodox Jukebox. - That's right.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49- What are you singing tonight? - I'm going to sing Locked Out Of Heaven.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:32:52 > 0:32:56- They're loving it. You wrote a lot of the songs on this... - All the songs.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58..while you were touring the last album.
0:32:58 > 0:33:02Yeah, that was a big part of this album.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04There were times on stage, I thought I wish I had a song like this.
0:33:04 > 0:33:07So I took that energy and put it on Unorthodox Jukebox.
0:33:07 > 0:33:12- You got inspired in all sorts of places, in a strip club.- Yes.
0:33:12 > 0:33:18- Do tell us. Cue, the story.- OK.
0:33:18 > 0:33:19He was on.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24- DANIEL: I was there. - Yeah, Daniel Radcliffe on a pole.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27I'm not a Pole, I'm a Russian!
0:33:28 > 0:33:32We had a show in Paris and we had the day off the next day.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35We all wanted to go out, the band.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38- We ended up in this real seedy strip club.- Weird.
0:33:38 > 0:33:44The DJ recognised me and you know, I'm trying to lay low.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47And he said, "Ladies and gentleman, we have a special guest, Bruno Mars."
0:33:47 > 0:33:50I thought, damn it. Cover's blown.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54The worst part was he started playing my first single, Just The Way You Are.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56I don't know if you've heard it...
0:33:56 > 0:34:00- It's a beautiful song.- ..but it's the last song you want to hear in a place like that.
0:34:00 > 0:34:07- Yeah.- This poor girl gets on stage... And she's trying to dance to it.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10And I said, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
0:34:10 > 0:34:15On this album I have some songs that I'll be proud of the next
0:34:15 > 0:34:16time I'm in Paris at a strip club.
0:34:19 > 0:34:22You wrote one specifically, Money Make Her Smile.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25That's right, so get ready you French strippers!
0:34:26 > 0:34:30So many beats per minute. Slow it down! I'm dizzy.
0:34:30 > 0:34:35- You've been in Britain, enjoying... - I love it out here.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37You like tweeting, don't you?
0:34:37 > 0:34:40Yeah it's a good way to get straight to the fans.
0:34:40 > 0:34:44- Jessica, you tweet - sweet tweets. - Do I?
0:34:44 > 0:34:47- Can we show the picture of your dog? - Yes, please.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50This is adorable. This is Jessica's dog wearing the gold medal. Myla.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52AUDIENCE: Aw!
0:34:54 > 0:34:56You know that room could do with a table.
0:34:58 > 0:35:02- I don't know if you've lived there long, but just an occasional, something.- OK.
0:35:02 > 0:35:03Maybe a rug. Just something.
0:35:03 > 0:35:08- That's where she does sit ups.- Yeah. She looks cute, though.
0:35:08 > 0:35:13She does. Ricky, you just, you tweet pictures of yourself.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16I haven't got a dog.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18LAUGHTER
0:35:23 > 0:35:25You're trying to look as horrible as possible.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28Yeah. It's a hobby, isn't it?
0:35:28 > 0:35:30I think this may be the winner.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32The good news is you're unrecognisable,
0:35:32 > 0:35:34but the bad news is, it is you.
0:35:34 > 0:35:35LAUGHTER
0:35:38 > 0:35:40It is, yeah!
0:35:42 > 0:35:48- Yeah.- How do you do that?- They're called bath pics. Just me in the bath. I do one every now and again.
0:35:52 > 0:35:56Honestly, I'm prouder of that than The Office.
0:35:58 > 0:35:59I want to see a bath pic.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02- Everyone here has to do one. - BRUNO: I'll do one tomorrow.- OK.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04- I promise as well.- You've got to...
0:36:04 > 0:36:07LAUGHTER
0:36:12 > 0:36:13APPLAUSE
0:36:13 > 0:36:19- You can do it. It's good for you. - You don't tweet? - DANIEL: I haven't yet, no.
0:36:19 > 0:36:20BRUNO: Too cool for school.
0:36:20 > 0:36:25- I don't have anything that good to say all the time.- Welcome to Twitter.
0:36:27 > 0:36:31- You know, I don't know. - If you're going to play by those rules...
0:36:34 > 0:36:36The Pope's just joined.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39That's the thing, that's what I loved about that, is that I'm now less current than the Pope.
0:36:39 > 0:36:45- I'm now technologically behind the Catholic Church.- He hasn't tweeted yet.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48- He's building up his following. - I hope it's a bath pic.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51Yeah just with the hat on!
0:36:51 > 0:36:53LAUGHTER
0:36:57 > 0:37:00- I hope he does that.- We're running short on time. It is time for music.
0:37:00 > 0:37:05- Bruno, if you want to go over and get ready. Thank you very much. - Thank you.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07APPLAUSE
0:37:07 > 0:37:13OK, in a moment, we'll have this week's stories in the red chair.
0:37:13 > 0:37:16First performing Locked Out Of Heaven, it is Mr Bruno Mars!
0:37:23 > 0:37:26# Oh, yeah, yeah Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:37:26 > 0:37:28# Ooh!
0:37:28 > 0:37:32# Oh, yeah, yeah Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:37:34 > 0:37:39# Never had much faith in love or miracles
0:37:41 > 0:37:44# Never want to put my heart on the line
0:37:47 > 0:37:52# But swimming in your world is something spiritual
0:37:54 > 0:37:59# I'm born again every time you spend the night
0:37:59 > 0:38:02# Cos your sex takes me to paradise
0:38:02 > 0:38:06# Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise
0:38:06 > 0:38:09# And it shows
0:38:09 > 0:38:11# Yeah, yeah, yeah
0:38:11 > 0:38:15# Cos you make me feel like
0:38:15 > 0:38:18# I've been locked out of heaven
0:38:18 > 0:38:21# For too long
0:38:21 > 0:38:25# For too long
0:38:25 > 0:38:28# Yeah, you make me feel like
0:38:28 > 0:38:31# I've been locked out of heaven
0:38:31 > 0:38:34# For too long
0:38:34 > 0:38:38# For too long
0:38:40 > 0:38:44# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Ooh!
0:38:45 > 0:38:49# Oh, yeah, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:38:49 > 0:38:51# Ooh!
0:38:51 > 0:38:53# You bring me to my knees
0:38:53 > 0:38:58# You make me testify Ooh!
0:38:58 > 0:39:02# Yeah, you can make a sinner change his ways
0:39:02 > 0:39:04# Ooh!
0:39:04 > 0:39:05# Open up your gates
0:39:05 > 0:39:10# Cos I can't wait to see the light
0:39:10 > 0:39:16# And right there is where I want to stay
0:39:16 > 0:39:19# Cos your sex takes me to paradise
0:39:19 > 0:39:22# Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise
0:39:22 > 0:39:26# And it shows
0:39:26 > 0:39:28# Yeah, yeah, yeah
0:39:28 > 0:39:31# Cos you make me feel like
0:39:31 > 0:39:35# I've been locked out of heaven
0:39:35 > 0:39:38# For too long
0:39:38 > 0:39:41# For too long
0:39:41 > 0:39:44# Yeah, you make me feel like
0:39:44 > 0:39:47# I've been locked out of heaven
0:39:47 > 0:39:51# For too long
0:39:51 > 0:39:54# For too long
0:39:54 > 0:40:00# Oh-oh-oh-oh Yeah, yeah, yeah
0:40:00 > 0:40:04# Can I just stay here?
0:40:04 > 0:40:08# Spend the rest of my days here
0:40:08 > 0:40:13# Oh-oh-oh-oh Yeah, yeah, yeah
0:40:13 > 0:40:16# Can I just stay here?
0:40:16 > 0:40:20# Spend the rest of my days here
0:40:20 > 0:40:23# Cos you make me feel like
0:40:23 > 0:40:27# I've been locked out of heaven
0:40:27 > 0:40:30# For too long
0:40:30 > 0:40:32# For too long
0:40:32 > 0:40:35# Yeah, you make me feel like
0:40:35 > 0:40:40# I've been locked out of heaven
0:40:40 > 0:40:42# For too long
0:40:42 > 0:40:45# For too long
0:40:45 > 0:40:48# Oh-oh-oh-oh
0:40:48 > 0:40:51# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:40:51 > 0:40:53# Ooh!
0:40:53 > 0:40:58# Oh, yeah, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. #
0:40:59 > 0:41:00Thank you.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:05 > 0:41:10Bruno Mars! Come back and join us. Wow!
0:41:12 > 0:41:16Fantastic job. Have a seat there.
0:41:19 > 0:41:23Wow! One more time for the band, ladies and gentleman!
0:41:23 > 0:41:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:26 > 0:41:30- Great job. We didn't see the dancing dummy.- I just met those guys!
0:41:30 > 0:41:35- We didn't see the dancing. That was genius.- Thank you.- Very good. Brilliant. Thank you so much.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38Right before we go, just time for a story or two in the red chair.
0:41:38 > 0:41:41- Who's up first? Hello.- Hi.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Oh!
0:41:43 > 0:41:45LAUGHTER
0:41:45 > 0:41:51- What's your name, sir?- Ian. - Where are you from?- Glasgow. - Glasgow.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55- You got some ink, Ian.- Yeah I do. - Serious ink.
0:41:55 > 0:41:59- Yeah.- And you have it on the other arm too.- Yeah.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02LAUGHTER
0:42:04 > 0:42:10It just seems unlikely, that's all. Off you go with your story.
0:42:10 > 0:42:12I used to work in a call centre...
0:42:12 > 0:42:14LAUGHTER
0:42:17 > 0:42:19This is a weird show.
0:42:19 > 0:42:23DANIEL: Out of interest, do you have any idea what's going on at this point?
0:42:23 > 0:42:27BRUNO: I have no idea. I just want him to pull this thing.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32OK, you're working in a call centre.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34A customer calls, he's hysterically crying,
0:42:34 > 0:42:37I was like, "Oh, my goodness, are you OK? What's wrong?"
0:42:37 > 0:42:41He was telling me that people came out to fix his internet
0:42:41 > 0:42:46and they left live wires in his garden.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48To which I was like, "Oh, my goodness, sir,
0:42:48 > 0:42:50"we'll get that cleared up. Blah, blah, blah.
0:42:50 > 0:42:57He told me his dog chewed on the wire. Kind of electrocuted itself.
0:42:57 > 0:42:59LAUGHTER
0:42:59 > 0:43:03I was trying to console him. I was, "I'm so sorry. What kind of dog was it?"
0:43:03 > 0:43:05He's like...
0:43:05 > 0:43:07LAUGHTER
0:43:07 > 0:43:10He was like, "It's a Yorky."
0:43:10 > 0:43:12I was, "Oh, my goodness, what was the dog's name?
0:43:12 > 0:43:14He was like "Sparky."
0:43:14 > 0:43:16- No!- Let him live.
0:43:18 > 0:43:22- Flip me!- Do you want to be flipped? - Flip!
0:43:22 > 0:43:24OK, he wants to be flipped.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28Well done, everyone.
0:43:28 > 0:43:31If you'd like to join us on the show
0:43:31 > 0:43:33and have a go on the red chair you can.
0:43:33 > 0:43:35Just contact us via our website at this address.
0:43:35 > 0:43:38Thank you to my fabulous guests tonight - Mr Bruno Mars,
0:43:38 > 0:43:45Ricky Gervais, Jessica Ennis, and Daniel Radcliffe.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48Join me next week with the star of the New Hobbit film
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Martin Freeman, comedian and writer Dawn French,
0:43:51 > 0:43:52top comic Lee Mack
0:43:52 > 0:43:55and pop princesses Girls Aloud, ladies and gentlemen.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody. Bye bye!
0:44:16 > 0:44:19Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd