0:00:02 > 0:00:04Tonight on the show, a brilliant singer all the way from Canada.
0:00:04 > 0:00:08Oh, Canada, the sound of the wind blowing through the maple trees.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10AUDIENCE WHISTLES
0:00:10 > 0:00:13The Mounties galloping through the Rockies.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16AUDIENCE STAMPS FEET
0:00:16 > 0:00:19And the lone cry of a rutting moose.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21AUDIENCE MEMBER BELLOWS
0:00:21 > 0:00:23LAUGHTER
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Let's start the show!
0:00:25 > 0:00:28APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Oh, oh!
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Thank you very much. Good evening and welcome.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53What a show we've got for you tonight.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57Global singing superstar Michael Buble is here.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Star of stage, screen and musicals
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Amanda Holden is on the show, ladies and gentlemen.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:08 > 0:01:10The hilarious Jack Dee is with us.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Very good.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Jack, of course,
0:01:17 > 0:01:21recently returned from a trip down the Zambezi river for Comic Relief.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25Yes, they had to contend with ferocious rapids, sharks,
0:01:25 > 0:01:28man-eating crocodiles. Terrifying.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I believe they call it brown-water rafting.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31LAUGHTER
0:01:31 > 0:01:33No, nothing? Brown?
0:01:33 > 0:01:34LAUGHTER
0:01:34 > 0:01:37While they were crossing the crocodile-infested waters,
0:01:37 > 0:01:41Jack went missing, and for a while the guide didn't know where he was.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45"Mr Dee, your tea's ready!"
0:01:45 > 0:01:47LAUGHTER
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Great to welcome back Michael Buble.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:01:52 > 0:01:53All right. Whoo!
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Michael is one of those singers whose fans have a nickname.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Justin Bieber has the Beliebers.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Lady Gaga has Little Monsters.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07And Michael Buble has drunk middle-aged housewives.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10LAUGHTER
0:02:10 > 0:02:13That's you. I'm talking about you, lady!
0:02:13 > 0:02:16And what a pleasure to have Amanda Holden back on the show.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18APPLAUSE
0:02:18 > 0:02:22She, of course, starred in the hit drama series Wild At Heart,
0:02:22 > 0:02:23ladies and gentlemen.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25I don't know what happened to that cheetah,
0:02:25 > 0:02:28but there's Amanda at the end of show party.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31LAUGHTER
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Amanda recently starred in the West End,
0:02:34 > 0:02:36playing Princess Fiona in Shrek.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Oh, there she is and, by the way, that man with the big funny ears -
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Prince Charles.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44LAUGHTER
0:02:44 > 0:02:49Actually Amanda really is a hugely talented actress. Look at this.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Pretending to like Alesha Dixon.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53LAUGHTER
0:02:53 > 0:02:56It's very good, isn't it?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Now, Britain's Got Talent is back.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59There's some controversial acts this year
0:02:59 > 0:03:03including Jess, the pole dancer.
0:03:03 > 0:03:08If she wins she'll have to do that act at the Royal Variety Show.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Will she get enough phone votes?
0:03:12 > 0:03:13Yes, she will!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15LAUGHTER
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Let's get some guests on!
0:03:17 > 0:03:20First of all, give me a D, it's Jack Dee!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:24 > 0:03:28I'll come and greet you. Hello, sir. Have a seat.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30It's a yes from me, it's Amanda Holden!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Sophisticated, beautiful. Look at you all sophisticated.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Hello, darling. It's not me, is it?
0:03:39 > 0:03:44And I haven't met him yet, but I'm about to. It's Michael Buble! Yeah!
0:03:44 > 0:03:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Lovely.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Welcome, all. Welcome, all.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Now listen, we mustn't go a moment further without saying
0:04:02 > 0:04:04huge congratulations to you.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Michael Buble is going to be a baby daddy! He is!
0:04:07 > 0:04:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:09 > 0:04:11That is brilliant news. I'm so pleased for you.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12Thank you very much.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- I know you're chuffed to bits. - It worked, the sex worked!
0:04:15 > 0:04:16LAUGHTER
0:04:16 > 0:04:18She never has to do it again now.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20LAUGHTER
0:04:20 > 0:04:24I was saying backstage, there was nothing sexy about the sex.
0:04:24 > 0:04:30- Oh, come on!- No. My wife is so beautiful, but it wasn't like that.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31She was very like,
0:04:31 > 0:04:35"It's nine o'clock on Tuesday night and we must do it now!"
0:04:35 > 0:04:36LAUGHTER
0:04:36 > 0:04:37I would. That's quite sexy.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41I didn't feel like that. I felt I was used to be a little humpy guy.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- And then we have to do the thing, where you...- Oh, upside down?
0:04:46 > 0:04:48"Doctors say pull my legs up in the air."
0:04:48 > 0:04:51And she would say, "I have to pee. How long has it been?"
0:04:51 > 0:04:54I'd say like, "I don't know, it's been 15 minutes.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55"We got five more minutes to go."
0:04:55 > 0:04:58She'd say, "You mother... I need to pee."
0:04:58 > 0:05:00LAUGHTER
0:05:00 > 0:05:02What is that accent?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06- When she talks to me, she is from Argentina.- OK, right.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09It's nice. It's sexy.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14In Argentina she is the most enormous star.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- She would be like the Jennifer Aniston of Argentina.- Oh, wow.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21When I started with her, I don't think they liked me very much.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26I was the ugly fat Canadian boy that came to steal the princess.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30No, it's true.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33He says that, but look at her. That's who he got.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36That dude in the jacket right there is looking and saying,
0:05:36 > 0:05:38"How the f... did he get her?"
0:05:38 > 0:05:39LAUGHTER
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Here is my favourite bit.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44If you're sitting at home feeling a bit bloated,
0:05:44 > 0:05:47yeah, four months pregnant there!
0:05:47 > 0:05:49- She's not?!- She is, yeah.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I don't think I like her any more.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52LAUGHTER
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- Are you sure she's pregnant?- I think so. I just hope it's mine!
0:05:56 > 0:05:59LAUGHTER
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- She gets around!- Oh, stop it!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05It can be hard to tell when someone's pregnant.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Amanda, didn't you have a thing at auditions with someone?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Blinking Simon, he's absolutely hideous.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14When his attention span goes, he plays tricks.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17I have to do all kinds of things to keep him entertained.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22This woman was coming on and he said to me,
0:06:22 > 0:06:26"Darling, she is having a baby, this next contestant."
0:06:26 > 0:06:29He could see her in the wings and I went, "Oh, that's brilliant."
0:06:29 > 0:06:34I was, "Hello, darling, where are you from? And you're up the duff?"
0:06:34 > 0:06:35And she said, "Sorry, what?"
0:06:35 > 0:06:38And I thought, oh, she just doesn't understand phraseology.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40"You're expecting?"
0:06:40 > 0:06:44She said no. Simon was like that - "You're such a bitch!"
0:06:44 > 0:06:46LAUGHTER
0:06:46 > 0:06:50And she wasn't even a big girl. She was just in a little tent dress.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53I was mortified.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57You want to check your facts before you say stuff like that to people.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01I did it once saying that to a woman saying when is it due?
0:07:01 > 0:07:04But once you have said it once and they're not pregnant,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06- you will never say that again. - I've never said it since.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Not even if they have a baby's head coming out of them. Never say it.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:14 > 0:07:16What about a name? Have you chosen a name yet?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18She's killing me.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Juanita. Juanita Buble.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25She's Argentinian so we fight about the names
0:07:25 > 0:07:28and, like, I don't know.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32She thinks that names sound beautiful in Spanish.
0:07:32 > 0:07:37Like she will say to me, "You know it's a good name, Dirt. Dirt Buble."
0:07:37 > 0:07:40I'll say, "I don't think Dirt means what you think it means."
0:07:40 > 0:07:41LAUGHTER
0:07:41 > 0:07:46She says, "No, it's beautiful, in Spanish it sounds so good like Dirt!"
0:07:46 > 0:07:49LAUGHTER
0:07:49 > 0:07:52I read that and just assumed she was saying the Spanish for dirt.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54No, just the word "Dirt".
0:07:54 > 0:07:58She liked Uciel.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Uciel Buble?
0:08:01 > 0:08:02He wouldn't be able to spell that at school.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05You've got to think about the playground.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Also the child would sound drunk and social services would come round.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09- SLURS:- Uciel Buble.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11LAUGHTER
0:08:11 > 0:08:14What's wrong with that child?
0:08:14 > 0:08:18A nice name, I think - Graham.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21I like Graham. It is a strong name.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23No, Grey Buble.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26You have to say it in a Spanish accent.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- SPANISH ACCENT:- Graham!
0:08:30 > 0:08:32"Graham, where are you?"
0:08:35 > 0:08:38"Time for your chat show, come on!"
0:08:38 > 0:08:39LAUGHTER
0:08:39 > 0:08:42"Put your little jacket on. Come on, Graham."
0:08:43 > 0:08:48Now, listen, very exciting. Little Graham not the only new arrival,
0:08:48 > 0:08:51because a new album is out. Is it Monday?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- Lovely link.- Very good.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- Faultless.- Thank you. - Have you got my book in there?
0:08:57 > 0:09:00LAUGHTER
0:09:02 > 0:09:04There it is. Lovely.
0:09:04 > 0:09:09To Be Loved, and there's four original songs.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13There's some duets, there's covers. The fans will love this.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- It's not great.- No?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18You're not so keen on it?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21It's OK. Honestly, I wouldn't waste your money if I were you!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24LAUGHTER
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Download that shit illegally, trust me.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- The anti-talk show.- My record company is back there going...
0:09:38 > 0:09:40LAUGHTER
0:09:40 > 0:09:41- It's excellent.- I love it. Thank you.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44It is the best thing I've ever made before I made the baby.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47AUDIENCE SIGHS
0:09:47 > 0:09:48You're trying to be sweet now.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50LAUGHTER
0:09:50 > 0:09:51Here is the weird thing.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55Because you are all loved up, daddy-to-be and everything,
0:09:55 > 0:09:57yet this new single you're performing later
0:09:57 > 0:09:59is quite anti-romance.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01It's a bit anti-love, isn't it?
0:10:01 > 0:10:06- Yes, it really is a revenge break-up song.- Where did that come from?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- Who is it?- Harry Styles.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10LAUGHTER
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- You too?- That son of a bitch broke my heart!
0:10:14 > 0:10:17The first thing I wrote was the words
0:10:17 > 0:10:19"I don't know why you thought that you could hold me
0:10:19 > 0:10:21"when you couldn't get by by yourself,"
0:10:21 > 0:10:23and I thought, "This is awesome."
0:10:23 > 0:10:24I kept writing these love...
0:10:24 > 0:10:28"You're my snoopy-poo. I love you, I miss you, I need you."
0:10:28 > 0:10:29I thought, "This is great."
0:10:29 > 0:10:33This song is for all of you who are with that guy or that girl
0:10:33 > 0:10:35who thought they were all that and left you,
0:10:35 > 0:10:38and now that they're gone, you're thinking,
0:10:38 > 0:10:42"Bitch, my life is way better without you!"
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Why did you have to bring that up again?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46LAUGHTER
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Can I leave? I'm sorry.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Everyone plays music to their unborn baby.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59- Have you been playing the CD or singing live to the bump?- Oh, God.
0:10:59 > 0:11:04I sang live early on. I didn't know. I've never had a baby before.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08My wife said to me, "Come to sing, because he will know your voice."
0:11:08 > 0:11:13I would come to her belly and I would go and sing, you know...
0:11:15 > 0:11:17I sang Pretty Baby.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19# Everybody love a baby... #
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Oh, can you imagine?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Sing to my Yorkshire pudding that's in there now.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26LAUGHTER
0:11:26 > 0:11:28In the middle of singing my wife starts to laugh
0:11:28 > 0:11:30and I'd say, "Why are you laughing?"
0:11:30 > 0:11:32She said, "You're so stupid. The baby is two months.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34"They have no ears to hear you!"
0:11:34 > 0:11:36LAUGHTER
0:11:36 > 0:11:38It's the truth.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40That is so my wife.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44You said earlier you know how to sex a baby before they're born.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48If you have lots of sex, it's normally a girl,
0:11:48 > 0:11:52because girl sperms are marathon runners.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Boy sperms are like 100-metre sprints
0:11:54 > 0:11:57so if it's a one-off or a one-night stand, or an accident,
0:11:57 > 0:12:00it's normally a boy cos it got straight there.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03But girl sperms keep going and they're like that. Bye!
0:12:05 > 0:12:09Join us next week with Dr Amanda Holden.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12I didn't know girls had sperm. I just learned that.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15LAUGHTER
0:12:15 > 0:12:21I just wondered, because obviously your wife is in Argentina?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23She's just finished her movie, yes.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- You can't sing to little Graham now. - No.- I'm sticking with this idea.
0:12:29 > 0:12:36I just wondered, do we have any pregnant ladies in our audience?
0:12:36 > 0:12:40I'll wait for you to put your hand up. I won't go, "Are you?"
0:12:42 > 0:12:48- Yes. You have a baby inside you. Anybody else? What's your name?- Amy.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- And when is the baby going to happen?- August 31st.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Oh, so close to me.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Is this first?- First.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- Do you know boy or girl?- Girl.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00That means she had lots of sex.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03LAUGHTER
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Your girl could grow up and marry little Graham.
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Anybody else?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15There's another lady. Hello.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17- Who are you?- Hi. Marta.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22- When are you having a baby? - 29th July.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Earlier. I can know the calendar.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30- Do you know what's popping out of you?- I'm having a boy.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- A boy.- You see, she didn't have much sex.
0:13:34 > 0:13:39It was great sex. Oh, my God, it was good and it did the job.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Would either of you like Mr Buble singing to your bump?
0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Would you?- Of course I would do it.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45APPLAUSE
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- Mr Chang on the piano. - Is Alan there?
0:13:50 > 0:13:54- OK, sure, let's do this. This is nice and romantic.- This is lovely.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56PIANO STARTS
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Hello. How are you?
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Good, thank you. Fabulous.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06# Fairy tales can come true
0:14:06 > 0:14:09# It can happen to you
0:14:11 > 0:14:14# When you're young at heart. #
0:14:14 > 0:14:15That's so lovely.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18# Here is the best part
0:14:18 > 0:14:21# You have a head start
0:14:21 > 0:14:24# If you are among the very...
0:14:27 > 0:14:31# Young at...
0:14:33 > 0:14:35# Heart. #
0:14:35 > 0:14:37APPLAUSE
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Thank you so much. That was beautiful.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43- What about you? Where are you from? - Barcelona.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44You're from Barcelona!
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Hola! Que pasa?
0:14:47 > 0:14:49- Todo bien?- Todo bien.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52- Estoy muy feliz porque estoy aqui con ustedes.- Gracias.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54No, no, mi placer.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58Cos you are Spanish, I know that it was dirty!
0:14:58 > 0:15:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Alan, give me something dirty for the baby.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10# My loneliness is killing me
0:15:11 > 0:15:14# I must confess I still believe
0:15:15 > 0:15:18# When I'm without you I lose my mind
0:15:18 > 0:15:21# Give me a sign
0:15:22 > 0:15:24# Kick me, baby, one more time! #
0:15:24 > 0:15:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:31 > 0:15:35Michael Buble and the bumps. Well done!
0:15:43 > 0:15:47Wouldn't it be weird, when they are crying, you'd be able to put
0:15:47 > 0:15:50- Michael Buble CDs on now and keep them quiet?- How fabulous.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54That first lady, is that your husband next to you or your partner?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56He was looking at Michael going,
0:15:56 > 0:15:59"Yeah, thanks, pal.
0:15:59 > 0:16:04"You have just put the bar so high, I can never do this!"
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Trust me, I haven't put the bar high, they call me Tiny Bubble.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12LAUGHTER
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Now, Amanda Holden, it's not all about babies and music, oh, no,
0:16:15 > 0:16:18because you have written a book?
0:16:18 > 0:16:22- Yes, I'm in the process of writing it now.- It comes out in September?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- No, I'm still doing it. - Aren't you supposed to be finished?
0:16:24 > 0:16:28It's tortuous. Yeah, I am coming to the end.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- We've proofed and all kinds of things.- OK. Will this be in?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34I might put this in. I'll speak well of Michael.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36And his Tiny Bubbles.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39LAUGHTER
0:16:39 > 0:16:43- I'm not in it yet. Can I be in the index?- I'm not doing an index.
0:16:43 > 0:16:49- Aren't you? Oh, how annoying! We have to read the thing?!- Exactly.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Simon's book, I've known him ten years and I'm one line in it.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56- At least you're in it.- I didn't buy it. I looked in the index.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58What's it called?
0:16:58 > 0:17:00I've got so many names because
0:17:00 > 0:17:03my Holden just lends itself to so many headlines.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05So I was thinking I could call it...
0:17:05 > 0:17:10If I had a face-lift, I was thinking it could be Holden Back The Years.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I thought,
0:17:12 > 0:17:16actually a genuine name for it was No Holden Back.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20- That's good.- Not bad. - A tell-all tale.
0:17:20 > 0:17:25- Have you written a book? - I had a book but it wasn't a book.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- I felt I hadn't done enough. - What did you call it?
0:17:28 > 0:17:33- Oh, shit, I don't know what it was called.- Truth or Honest or Me.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36No, cos Buble's a very good name.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40- It was basically a picture book with a small biography.- OK.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42I haven't done enough yet.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45It was just you looking beautiful at pianos around the world?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47That's exactly it. A book full of me going...
0:17:47 > 0:17:49LAUGHTER
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Have you got one of those, Jack?
0:17:51 > 0:17:55A book of me doing pictures like that? Yeah, I have.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57- It will be out for Christmas. - You did have a book.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59LAUGHTER
0:17:59 > 0:18:01What did you call yours?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04I called mine Thanks For Nothing.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06That is brilliant.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10It's still available at a good charity shop near you.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13The last time I saw it was in Carlisle in a charity shop.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16It was next to a Wham video.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20I think it was 30p.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25It was great. I enjoyed writing it.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- It did well.- There was a nice dedication.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- You dedicated the book, didn't you? - It's an autobiography.
0:18:31 > 0:18:32I put on the front,
0:18:32 > 0:18:35"Dedicated to me, without whom none of this would have been possible."
0:18:35 > 0:18:37LAUGHTER
0:18:37 > 0:18:40I don't mess around. That is what it was for.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44If you are not calling it No Holden Back,
0:18:44 > 0:18:48are you holding back or are you telling everything in this book?
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Er, I'll be telling lots of things that you don't know.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Will it be about you or things like -
0:18:54 > 0:18:58"Do you know if you leave cheese out for four days..."
0:18:58 > 0:19:01I've got Mandy's Top Tips on the back page.
0:19:01 > 0:19:06It will be a book that has stuff in it that will be surprising to hear.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Yeah.- Also, I think about my children are going to read it
0:19:09 > 0:19:11and I want it to be a legacy for them.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14- I don't want it to be a trashy tabloid book.- Will you trash people?
0:19:14 > 0:19:17No, I won't be trashing people but I will tell a few home truths.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I guess what's difficult too is,
0:19:19 > 0:19:21because your life involves a divorce,
0:19:21 > 0:19:23bits of it aren't just your story.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- You co-own those stories.- Yes.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29So have you talked to Les Dennis about what's going to be in?
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- No, cos he didn't talk to me about his.- OK.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35No Holden Back!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37LAUGHTER
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Weird stories do come up.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43Was it around the divorce, when Diana Ross was cited in the divorce?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Oh, my God, this was the most hysterical thing.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48When you hit me my leg went like this.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50LAUGHTER
0:19:50 > 0:19:53That is a gonorrhoea check.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57See, I know I'm not Dr Mandy but that is a gonorrhoea check.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- Cross your leg.- Pardon me? - Put your leg over that way.- OK.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02This is how you check for gonorrhoea.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05If you've got good reflexes, you haven't got gonorrhoea.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Thank God!
0:20:08 > 0:20:10This might be a bit iffy.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13LAUGHTER
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Jack, let's just check you.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17LAUGHTER
0:20:17 > 0:20:22- I'll be sitting here. By the way, did you get the same designer?- Yeah.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27I thought that was pretty cool.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30We go to the same sock tailor.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35My best friend is mixed race.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37There ought to be a disclaimer.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40If you think you've got gonorrhoea that REALLY isn't a test for it.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42LAUGHTER
0:20:42 > 0:20:46- It is! - I don't want it going untreated.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48"Oh, no, I'm fine."
0:20:53 > 0:20:56"Nurse Holden said."
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Anyway, back to Diana Ross and your divorce.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02When Les and I were married,
0:21:02 > 0:21:06my best friend lived with us so she could save up for a mortgage.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08She's a beautiful mixed-race actress.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11I left the marital home, obviously.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Jane, my best friend, who's still my best friend,
0:21:14 > 0:21:15was living in the house.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19In the newspaper it said that Les was being comforted by Diana Ross!
0:21:21 > 0:21:24It was the best thing we ever read. It was hysterical.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27She even replied saying, "I don't know the man, but I feel for him."
0:21:27 > 0:21:29LAUGHTER
0:21:29 > 0:21:33- The real Diana Ross?- Yes! - Oh, how fabulous!- I know.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37This weekend, you are reunited with Simon Cowell,
0:21:37 > 0:21:39David Walliams and Alesha Dixon.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- Who I love, by the way.- Oh, I'm joking. We know you like each other.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44It's dull.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45LAUGHTER
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Britain's Got Talent is back.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51Obviously other shows are available. The Voice is very good, I hear.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52LAUGHTER
0:21:52 > 0:21:54We are one BBC.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57- They've changed times now. - We are up against them this weekend.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- Are you?- Yeah, and then they changed their slot.
0:22:00 > 0:22:01It's stupid, isn't it?
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Everyone wants to watch telly. It just means no-one can watch telly.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08You have to record one, watch one, so it just dilutes entertainment.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Very good. I'm going to write some of this down.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15- Do you watch these shows, Jack? - I watch them, yeah.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19I like The Voice and I like Britain's Got Talent.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23I wish The Voice, those chairs, I think the next series
0:22:23 > 0:22:26they should be able to drive themselves out of the studio.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- Brilliant.- Someone would be singing there and realise everyone's left.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34LAUGHTER
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- Mobility scooters.- Yeah.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46I love those shows. Britain's Got Talent I'm a big fan.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48They truly are dramatic.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- It was won by a dog the last series. - Pudsey.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- He can dance.- Fabulous.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56There he is.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- What I like about him... - It's incredible a dog can do that.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05It looks like he is taking the piss out of people dancing.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07LAUGHTER
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Anyway, we have a clip of what's in store this season.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16- Good. - This is one of the acts we'll see.
0:23:16 > 0:23:21SONG: "The Stripper"
0:23:34 > 0:23:36I genuinely don't know what to say to that.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40It was like a dream I had the other night.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42APPLAUSE
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Was that a man or a woman?
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Well, you see, you asked if that was a man or a woman.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51That's the confusion I have sometimes on that show. You see!
0:23:51 > 0:23:52Yes.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54A lot of people probably don't know,
0:23:54 > 0:23:59- but you had a successful modelling career?- What?!- You did!- Did I?
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Yes, lovely pictures we found of you. Here's one.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Oh, my God!
0:24:06 > 0:24:10- Is that on the cover of Vogue? Elle?- You are funny.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15- That was for The Grimleys. - Really?- Yes!
0:24:15 > 0:24:20- For the '70s. I don't go around like that.- You did then.- That is hideous.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25You do look slightly like you are going to the toilet.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29The moose man at the top of the show looked like he was having a purge.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33You leave Dave alone. He is a trained actor.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36LAUGHTER
0:24:36 > 0:24:39He looks like Mini Me, don't you think?
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Go like that, Dave. Go like that!
0:24:46 > 0:24:50We have a lovely picture of you. This is you looking very sexy.
0:24:50 > 0:24:55- Oh, God! That was for The Grimleys!- Those boots are fabulous.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58I do feel maybe you and the photographer were talking,
0:24:58 > 0:25:00"That's sexy but maybe not sexy enough."
0:25:00 > 0:25:03So here is Amanda going, "Is this sexy enough?"
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- I haven't seen these.- Is this sexy?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07LAUGHTER
0:25:07 > 0:25:11- That's hot.- I'm not going to let my children watch this.
0:25:11 > 0:25:16- That is fabulous. Is it true that Chris...- My husband.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17..that is his favourite?
0:25:17 > 0:25:20He is obsessed with my bottom.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23You do encourage him.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27Didn't you give him a cast of your bottom, was it for Christmas?
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Well, he, honestly,
0:25:29 > 0:25:32it's lovely your husband loves you and your bottom.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34- That is a lovely thing.- Yes.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I didn't know what to get him for Christmas,
0:25:36 > 0:25:40so I thought I'd get my bum cast.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42My friend Angela was pregnant.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44She got a pregnant bump cast, which is a nice thing to do.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48I thought if you can get that, you could get your bottom done.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Of course, Amanda, yes.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54So me and my friend Jane, Diana Ross...
0:25:54 > 0:25:56- Full circle.- Yeah, full circle.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59We went online and we found this website
0:25:59 > 0:26:03where you can get all manner of things cast.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- I hear you.- Everything.- We get you.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- It's hideous.- Yes, anyway.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13So I booked this man. Jane was with me for moral support.
0:26:13 > 0:26:18He comes in and asks me to remove my underwear and bend over the desk.
0:26:19 > 0:26:20It's not a first!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22LAUGHTER
0:26:22 > 0:26:25So I was all right with that. Obviously, with my husband.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28So literally I was bending over like that.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32- You know the stuff when you have broken your arm?- Plaster.- Yeah.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35He put it all over my bum
0:26:35 > 0:26:39and down to my bits of fat under there which I hate.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42I wear Spanx.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Then he got out a spatula, Graham,
0:26:46 > 0:26:49and he defined my crack with a spatula.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52LAUGHTER
0:26:52 > 0:26:56And then he said, "You have to stay in this position now."
0:26:56 > 0:27:00I had to make polite conversation with this tall man for 40 minutes
0:27:00 > 0:27:03while this cast set on my arse.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- The worse thing is having to peel it off.- Ooh!
0:27:07 > 0:27:09I mean, I do wax.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12But it was painful, let me say.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15He peels this. You've got this bum.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18I've got it. It's good.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20We don't tell anyone it's my bum.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Everyone knows now.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24It just looks like a piece of art.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Now, as a mother of two, seven years later, I just look at it and weep,
0:27:27 > 0:27:31because it was slightly lifted and higher before.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35- I'm trying to get the logistics of the thing.- Yes. It was like that.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39- You know what I'm about to say? - Go ahead.- You know what I'm saying?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41- I'm worried. - Oh, no, there's nothing...
0:27:41 > 0:27:43That's what I was going to say.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45LAUGHTER
0:27:45 > 0:27:47He's not fond of that bit. Just that bit.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49LAUGHTER
0:27:49 > 0:27:52We've learnt too much now, haven't we?
0:27:52 > 0:27:55I've totally killed the magic.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58No Holden Back!
0:27:58 > 0:28:01- We don't have your bot-cast. - No, cos it's in the Cotswolds.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04It's being used as a bike park.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07My unicycle is currently in it.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10- We offered someone in the audience the chance to do this.- You didn't.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- We did.- Oh, my God.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16A man called Darren said yes.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18Where is Darren?
0:28:18 > 0:28:22- Darren, how brave is that? - Oh, Darren.- Darren is very brave.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25Here's Darren coming into the room.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27You must have been scared, Darren,
0:28:27 > 0:28:30because it looks like they are preparing to remove your kidneys.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36They have so much plastic all around this room. So there you are.
0:28:36 > 0:28:41This is... I think you'll be all right. This isn't too revealing.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43You look happy enough there.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45LAUGHTER
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Why did you take everything off?
0:28:47 > 0:28:50Why did you take everything off?
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Even your socks are off.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55I did ask to leave them on.
0:28:55 > 0:28:59Here he is. I think maybe that's the spatula moment.
0:28:59 > 0:29:03- Defining the crack. - Or putting in air holes.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Solid work there.
0:29:05 > 0:29:09- Sorry, Graham, why would he be putting in air holes?- I don't know!
0:29:09 > 0:29:12LAUGHTER
0:29:12 > 0:29:18I love this because even the sculptor looks appalled here.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21Did you fart at that moment?
0:29:21 > 0:29:22LAUGHTER
0:29:22 > 0:29:25- He looks a bit like a vet, doesn't he?- Yes!
0:29:25 > 0:29:29I was going to say. It looks like All Creatures Great And Small.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33"Tristan, I've lost my watch!"
0:29:33 > 0:29:35LAUGHTER
0:29:35 > 0:29:38What website did you get these from?
0:29:38 > 0:29:41- So we've got it. Have you seen it yet?- No.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43You will be thrilled.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46It's something you will treasure for the rest of your life.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49Here we go. It is lovely, look.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51It's lovely.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54You were obviously standing at a slightly jaunty angle.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57LAUGHTER
0:29:57 > 0:30:00It's cold, like a real bum.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04You could keep your £5 notes in there.
0:30:04 > 0:30:08- What do you do, hang it on the wall? - You can use it as a toast rack.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10LAUGHTER
0:30:12 > 0:30:16Would you mind kissing it so he can keep it for ever? Go on.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19I don't very often kiss people's arses.
0:30:19 > 0:30:23Just to the side, I would say. Yeah. There.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25Aww!
0:30:25 > 0:30:27- Do you want to kiss it, Michael Buble?- Not so much.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29LAUGHTER
0:30:29 > 0:30:33There you go, Darren. Lovely.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35It's yours.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Enjoy that.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40APPLAUSE
0:30:43 > 0:30:45I'm not sure how we follow that,
0:30:45 > 0:30:48but I'm going to talk to Jack Dee about his new tour.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Yeah, speaking of arses.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55- I'm sorry, Jack.- Nice, nice move.
0:30:55 > 0:31:00- You haven't been on tour, is it six years?- Six years.
0:31:00 > 0:31:05I was doing other stuff. I was doing Lead Balloon for a few years.
0:31:05 > 0:31:09I just wanted to get back and spend less time with my family.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11LAUGHTER
0:31:11 > 0:31:13And I started to tour, so I've been doing that for a whole year
0:31:13 > 0:31:18and I'm doing gigs in the spring here and Australia as well.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20You're going to Australia and New Zealand?
0:31:20 > 0:31:26Yeah, once you start, you get the taste for being away.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30- You like to go really far, far away. - You realise I really like this.
0:31:31 > 0:31:35Relationships from a distance are far easier, I'm sure you'll agree.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38Just "Miss you too"... Send. It's done.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40LAUGHTER
0:31:40 > 0:31:42"The boiler's packed up. There's no hot water."
0:31:42 > 0:31:45"Hot water in hotel fine"... Send.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50It is a stress-free existence and I like it.
0:31:50 > 0:31:55- When little Graham arrives, will he come on tour?- Call him Gray-Gray.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58- Gray-Gray.- Yes.- Little G.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01- Little G Buble.- Aww!
0:32:03 > 0:32:07When he arrives, will you take him on tour?
0:32:07 > 0:32:09Yeah, of course I'm going to take him on tour.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12People would love when you bring baby out on stage.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15- Yeah, the crowd-surfing. - He'll fit in your hand luggage.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17LAUGHTER
0:32:19 > 0:32:22I can't wait. That's the thing I can't wait for most.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24A few of the boys in my band have kids
0:32:24 > 0:32:29and I can't wait to have a room set up and it's like a tent in the rain.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33There's something so sweet about getting to do what I love
0:32:33 > 0:32:37with 20,000 people and then show up backstage and be with the kids.
0:32:37 > 0:32:39Reality, yeah, it's brilliant.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41That's where we differ!
0:32:41 > 0:32:43LAUGHTER
0:32:44 > 0:32:49But six years of a gap, is it a new Jack on tour?
0:32:49 > 0:32:51Are you happy Jack now?
0:32:51 > 0:32:53It's, um...
0:32:53 > 0:32:55LAUGHTER
0:32:55 > 0:32:57I think the face says it all really.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00I was very inspired by the opening ceremony of the Olympics last year
0:33:00 > 0:33:04so I want the show to be a bit like that.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06LAUGHTER
0:33:06 > 0:33:09I felt we had a magical time last year, everyone enjoyed it,
0:33:09 > 0:33:12and I thought, we need to continue this feeling.
0:33:12 > 0:33:13That's why I'm on tour
0:33:13 > 0:33:16and that's pretty much what it's been about so far.
0:33:18 > 0:33:22- We'd be proud to have you represent Britain worldwide.- Yes.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25I'm out there so it's good.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29- But people behave and it is fairly nice gigs.- Starts in Melbourne?
0:33:29 > 0:33:34I have been on tour so far, and Melbourne is my next gig next week,
0:33:34 > 0:33:37so I'm looking forward to that.
0:33:37 > 0:33:43I want to put paid to that image the British have of being whingeing poms.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45LAUGHTER
0:33:45 > 0:33:48I want to go down there and show them there is more to us than that.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50LAUGHTER
0:33:54 > 0:33:56I'm looking forward to it.
0:33:58 > 0:34:03Listen, I know you want to mention your date at the Hammersmith Apollo.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05You're there on the 11th and 12th May.
0:34:05 > 0:34:09Yeah, I am. I'm looking forward to that. It's a big one to do.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11I've played there a lot of times.
0:34:11 > 0:34:12It's been one of the nicest gigs I've done
0:34:12 > 0:34:14so I'm looking forward to that.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17All right, and we've got a clip, a taste of you in action.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22When they asked me to do this show,
0:34:22 > 0:34:25I said, "If there is anything I can do to spread the cheer..."
0:34:25 > 0:34:28LAUGHTER
0:34:32 > 0:34:34This time last year there was a big row in my household.
0:34:34 > 0:34:40We had the Grand Theft Auto row with my teenage sons.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43"Oh, why can't I have Grand Theft Auto?"
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Because it's inappropriate. It's horrible, violent, misogynist.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49"Please, you'll ruin Christmas if I can't have it."
0:34:49 > 0:34:53I am not buying you that game for Christmas. It's a violent game.
0:34:53 > 0:34:56It is not fun when you run people over for extra points
0:34:56 > 0:34:58and shoot people just for fun.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01"But all my mates have got it, you don't understand."
0:35:01 > 0:35:03It went on and on and on.
0:35:03 > 0:35:06In the end they gave up and bought it for me.
0:35:06 > 0:35:08LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:35:11 > 0:35:13- Did you get it?- I did get it, yeah.
0:35:17 > 0:35:18Well, Amanda was in the audience there.
0:35:18 > 0:35:23- Thank God I was laughing.- Yeah, cos that could have been awkward.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28Michael's all very excited little Graham is on his way.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32As a father of four, before your kids,
0:35:32 > 0:35:35what do you wish someone had told you?
0:35:35 > 0:35:38I honestly wish somebody had told me
0:35:38 > 0:35:40all the wondrous things I am going to experience.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42LAUGHTER
0:35:42 > 0:35:46The greatest gift of your life, Michael. It really is. It's a ride.
0:35:46 > 0:35:47You're going to have a great time.
0:35:49 > 0:35:52I wish someone had told me how expensive it is.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56And how they grow out of their clothes so quickly.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59It's unbelievable. You know what, with your money,
0:35:59 > 0:36:04there is a shop here called Start-rite where they get shoes.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07If I was doing it again I'd start a shop called Start Wrong.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12Get the kids used to uncomfortable shoes from the first moment,
0:36:12 > 0:36:15cos then they don't complain every time they grow out of their shoes.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18I've got a son now, he's 15, he's taller than me
0:36:18 > 0:36:21and I buy him new shoes every month, practically.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23He didn't understand why there was a brief period
0:36:23 > 0:36:26when I bought him the most expensive trainers in the shop.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28That was only because I knew after a month I'd get them.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30LAUGHTER
0:36:30 > 0:36:34So I'm going round in blingy trainers but that is it.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37No, it's great. It's great.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39LAUGHTER
0:36:39 > 0:36:41It doesn't get much better than that.
0:36:41 > 0:36:44You've learned a lot about parenthood tonight, haven't you?
0:36:44 > 0:36:48- It's all good.- All good. Hey, listen, it is time for music.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50Pregnant ladies prepare!
0:36:50 > 0:36:51AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:36:51 > 0:36:53Michael is going to sing for us.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56Michael, if you want to head over there. There he goes.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:36:59 > 0:37:03In a moment we'll have this week's stories from the famous red chair,
0:37:03 > 0:37:06but first, performing his new single, It's A Beautiful Day,
0:37:06 > 0:37:08it is Mr Michael Buble!
0:37:08 > 0:37:10APPLAUSE
0:37:17 > 0:37:21# I don't know why you think that you could hook me
0:37:21 > 0:37:24# When you couldn't get by by yourself
0:37:24 > 0:37:28# And I don't know who would ever want to tear
0:37:28 > 0:37:30# The seam of someone's dream
0:37:30 > 0:37:34# Baby, it's fine, you said that we should just be friends
0:37:34 > 0:37:37# Well, I came up with that line and I'm sure
0:37:37 > 0:37:42# That it's for the best but if you ever change your mind
0:37:42 > 0:37:44# Don't hold your breath
0:37:44 > 0:37:47# Cos you may not believe
0:37:50 > 0:37:54# That, baby, I'm relieved
0:37:56 > 0:38:02# When you said goodbye, my whole world shines
0:38:03 > 0:38:10# Hey, hey, it's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling
0:38:10 > 0:38:12# If I'm drinking, then I'm buying
0:38:12 > 0:38:16# And I know there's no denying
0:38:17 > 0:38:20# It's a beautiful day, the sun is up
0:38:20 > 0:38:25# The music's playing and even if it started raining
0:38:25 > 0:38:29# You won't hear this boy complaining
0:38:29 > 0:38:33# I'm glad that you're the one who got away
0:38:35 > 0:38:37# It's a beautiful day
0:38:40 > 0:38:45# It's my turn to fly, so, girls, get in line cos I'm easy
0:38:45 > 0:38:47# No playing this guy like a fool
0:38:47 > 0:38:49# Now I'm all right
0:38:49 > 0:38:53# You might've had me caged before, but not tonight
0:38:53 > 0:38:58# Cos you may not believe
0:38:59 > 0:39:03# That, baby, I'm relieved
0:39:06 > 0:39:11# This fire inside, it burns too bright
0:39:12 > 0:39:16# I don't want to stay too long
0:39:16 > 0:39:19# I just want to say goodbye
0:39:20 > 0:39:26# It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling
0:39:26 > 0:39:29# If I'm drinking, then I'm buying
0:39:29 > 0:39:32# And I know there's no denying
0:39:34 > 0:39:37# It's a beautiful day, the sun is up
0:39:37 > 0:39:43# The music's playing and even if it started raining
0:39:43 > 0:39:46# You wouldn't hear this boy complaining
0:39:46 > 0:39:50# Cos I'm glad that you're the one who got away
0:39:53 > 0:39:56# Cos if you ever think I'll take up
0:39:56 > 0:39:59# My time with thinking about our break-up
0:39:59 > 0:40:04# Then, you've got another thing coming your way
0:40:05 > 0:40:08# Cos it's a beautiful day
0:40:12 > 0:40:15# Beautiful day
0:40:15 > 0:40:18# Oh, baby, any day that you're gone away
0:40:18 > 0:40:21# It's a beautiful day. #
0:40:23 > 0:40:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:40:26 > 0:40:29Michael Buble, everybody!
0:40:29 > 0:40:32Come back and join us. Beautiful.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36- Stop it, it was lovely.- Thank you.
0:40:36 > 0:40:39Come down here and sit yourself down.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44- It was great. - Oh, God, that song hurts.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46- You all right?- I'm hurting, man. - Wow.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49You know, I think I have been in...
0:40:50 > 0:40:53..14, 13, 12 countries.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56You sounded jet-lagged when you were singing.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58LAUGHTER
0:40:58 > 0:41:01We were all saying, "Very jet-lagged."
0:41:01 > 0:41:05- Hey, it sounded beautiful.- Thanks. - Fantastic.- You shut up!
0:41:05 > 0:41:06The whole album is out on Monday.
0:41:06 > 0:41:10Right, before we go tonight, just time for a story in the red chair.
0:41:10 > 0:41:14- Who have we got? Hello.- Hiya. - Hello, you delicate flower.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17- How are you?- I'm good. What's your name?- My name's Alex.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19- Where are you from?- Australia.
0:41:19 > 0:41:24- I know that person.- You're kidding? Do you know Michael Buble?
0:41:24 > 0:41:27- That's my story actually. - Oh, we kind of know it now.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:41:32 > 0:41:35- She shot her load. - I was just kidding, who is that?
0:41:35 > 0:41:38- Oh, no! Do you not know her?- No.
0:41:38 > 0:41:41- Oh, now I feel bad.- Not me!
0:41:41 > 0:41:44LAUGHTER
0:41:44 > 0:41:47- You know her!- I know her.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50She's not having a baby as well, is she?
0:41:50 > 0:41:52LAUGHTER
0:41:52 > 0:41:54Vancouver maternity ward.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58- Who's up next? Hello.- Hello.- Hi.
0:41:58 > 0:41:59AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:41:59 > 0:42:03- They love you. This is going to go well. What's your name.- It's Anna.
0:42:03 > 0:42:07- Anna, lovely Anna. Where are you from?- I'm from north London.- Lovely.
0:42:07 > 0:42:12- What do you do?- I work in a theatre. - What do you do?- Theatre production.
0:42:12 > 0:42:14Oh, right, what do you do?
0:42:14 > 0:42:16LAUGHTER
0:42:16 > 0:42:19Taking care of the backstage bits of theatre.
0:42:19 > 0:42:24- OK. You're head of production? - Not quite.- She is open for that.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26What are you working on at the moment?
0:42:26 > 0:42:29A few things. We have an opera going on.
0:42:29 > 0:42:34- We've got a 24-hour show coming up. - Oh, yes.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37- You should come along and see the show.- Hmm.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40LAUGHTER
0:42:42 > 0:42:45That's a resounding yes from everyone.
0:42:45 > 0:42:46Off you go with your story.
0:42:46 > 0:42:50I went to a South American-themed restaurant, I was really hungry
0:42:50 > 0:42:56and I thought, I'll have a starter and a main. I'll treat myself.
0:42:56 > 0:42:58- Go mad!- Yeah.
0:42:58 > 0:43:04I wanted quite a big portion, but I wasn't sure how big the sizes were.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07I thought I'll ask the waitress cos she'll know.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11- I quite fancied the potato skins. Stodge.- Delicious.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14She came up to me and I said to her,
0:43:14 > 0:43:17"The potato skin, do they come with two skins or four skins?"
0:43:17 > 0:43:19LAUGHTER
0:43:22 > 0:43:24You're through to the next round!
0:43:24 > 0:43:26- Will we let her walk?- Yeah!
0:43:26 > 0:43:29APPLAUSE
0:43:29 > 0:43:31You can walk. Well done.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go on the red chair
0:43:34 > 0:43:37contact us via our website at this very address.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39Thank you to my guests tonight. Mr Jack Dee!
0:43:39 > 0:43:41APPLAUSE
0:43:41 > 0:43:43The lovely Amanda Holden!
0:43:43 > 0:43:45APPLAUSE
0:43:45 > 0:43:47And Mr Michael Buble!
0:43:47 > 0:43:49APPLAUSE
0:43:49 > 0:43:52Join me next week with music from Hurts, Not Going Out star
0:43:52 > 0:43:55Lee Mack, and Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow will be here.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58I'll see you then. Goodnight. Bye-bye.
0:44:21 > 0:44:25Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd