0:00:03 > 0:00:03we've all got a bit of a hangover. Any aspirins in the audience,
0:00:04 > 0:00:31please? ! Let's start the show! Oh! Oh! Hello! Hello, everybody!
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Thank you very much. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:36 > 0:00:43Thank you very much. Yes, it's 2014! No, it is! And
0:00:44 > 0:00:46before being rushed head long into a New Year, let's enjoy some
0:00:47 > 0:00:54highlights of the year so far, starting with this.
0:00:55 > 0:01:00Maybe I'm wrong, but I think what we see in acting, that's a pleasure? I
0:01:01 > 0:01:03do see it like that, I do. It fair to say this sort of thing, this is
0:01:04 > 0:01:12your least favourite aspect of making a film? No, not yet.
0:01:13 > 0:01:24Mary Berry, we've been out here for, what, 30 seconds probably, so I
0:01:25 > 0:01:30think it's time. So Harry. There you go. Thank you very much. So, Mary,
0:01:31 > 0:01:34what have you brought us? I've brought you nothing.
0:01:35 > 0:01:45AUDIENCE: Aw... I forgot to buy your book!
0:01:46 > 0:01:52So, Mary Katy Perry, you must be the hottest female in the world right
0:01:53 > 0:01:58now. Are you enjoying it, are you along for the ride or do you look at
0:01:59 > 0:02:04someone like Paul and think, I would like that legacy, to be singing
0:02:05 > 0:02:09songs in 40 years' time. Of course, I hope to have half the career that
0:02:10 > 0:02:14you have or whatever, I'd be so grateful. I mean, I think you've
0:02:15 > 0:02:17been doing this for longer, you know, than I've even before alive
0:02:18 > 0:02:23and you have been doing it so incredibly well and the fact that
0:02:24 > 0:02:27you're still here today in 2013... LAUGHTER
0:02:28 > 0:02:35No, no, no, no! Hold on, hold on, hold on. Reel it in, bring it back,
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Katie. Save this, Kate, come on. The fact that you're still here today...
0:02:41 > 0:02:45You said that! The fact that you're not dead! I'm not talking in that
0:02:46 > 0:02:48sense, I'm talking as a performer. He's about to be on this stage, I
0:02:49 > 0:02:52think there's like a handful of people that can still do that well.
0:02:53 > 0:02:59Yes. It's true. You brought it back, you brought it back.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04What do I... You see if you were British, you would be like Sir
0:03:05 > 0:03:11Robert deny row right now. Call me Bob. Lord Bob? Call me Sir Robert if
0:03:12 > 0:03:18you want. Yeah. Robert seems better. You should be Sir Robert. Can I call
0:03:19 > 0:03:22you Sir Robert? Yes. The campaign starts now. Yes. The Queen watches
0:03:23 > 0:03:29this. I clearly hope not!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Oh, David! What? Your hair's so stupid.
0:03:33 > 0:03:42LAUGHTER How rude!
0:03:43 > 0:03:48Look! Nothing wrong with a plait down a man's back. Are you playing
0:03:49 > 0:03:57Heidi at the moment? Perhaps I ought to just. You're going to pull it
0:03:58 > 0:04:02back. A little bit back. It's very soft, isn't it? Thank you. Look at
0:04:03 > 0:04:08Mary, she's all over it like a rash. Talk about grooming like a monkey,
0:04:09 > 0:04:16like ooooh. Had a play around backstage actually. Can we change
0:04:17 > 0:04:21the subject, please? ! LAUGHTER
0:04:22 > 0:04:31Look at you. I'm in the danger zone. You're just going to see his eye
0:04:32 > 0:04:35just fly right out. What are you doing...
0:04:36 > 0:04:36LAUGHTER A I'm just going to get really close and then it can just
0:04:37 > 0:04:51knock me on the back of the head. Do you still go clubbing, do you
0:04:52 > 0:05:00still cut and run? Do you know I've never ever been to a club in my
0:05:01 > 0:05:13life. Terrible. ErJudi Dench, you lie like a rug. I bumped into you in
0:05:14 > 0:05:20Heaven. Oh, yes, you did. LAUGHTER Absolutely true.
0:05:21 > 0:05:30They took us in through the back door. Wouldn't they? ! Story of her
0:05:31 > 0:05:32life. LAUGHTER
0:05:33 > 0:05:35That is the only time. Is that really the only time? Yes. Did you
0:05:36 > 0:05:38not have a nice night? You looked like you were having fun? Yes, I
0:05:39 > 0:05:44think we did. I'm gay and I've never been to
0:05:45 > 0:05:48heaven. I won't get there either. That's astonishing, why were you
0:05:49 > 0:05:52there, for Gods' sake? That's a good question too. I know the answer to
0:05:53 > 0:05:57that as well. You went to see Cher. What? You were there to see Cher,
0:05:58 > 0:06:06the singer Cher? Oh, yes, that's right.
0:06:07 > 0:06:17Classic, I feel like we are getting classic Cher tonight. You are
0:06:18 > 0:06:22getting Tartan. It's punk, punk edge, nice dark hair. Yes. Is it a
0:06:23 > 0:06:25mood thing, do you wake up and decide which Cher you are going to
0:06:26 > 0:06:32be? Are you out of your mind tonight? Possibly.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37LAUGHTER I was like looking at the sofa, it's
0:06:38 > 0:06:42like an out-of-body experience. It's like a dream I had. I have to say,
0:06:43 > 0:06:45you do look amazing. You do, you look fabulous. Thank you. You have
0:06:46 > 0:06:51been very forthcoming in saying you've had a bit of help along the
0:06:52 > 0:06:57way. Oh, darling a lot, a lot. Me too. Yes, I can tell. No, but
0:06:58 > 0:07:02whatever you've had done it's good, it's worked. Yes, I hope. But you
0:07:03 > 0:07:06know what I mean, sometimes people look terrible. You don't
0:07:07 > 0:07:11lookteringible. You've had work done, really? What's the worst
0:07:12 > 0:07:18procedure, the most painful? Having my vagina that tightened. It was the
0:07:19 > 0:07:23worst. Did you really? Oh, it was just...
0:07:24 > 0:07:29LAUGHTER? Excruciating. Wow? That did that entail? See, look at the
0:07:30 > 0:07:38face. What did that entail? You will show you later.
0:07:39 > 0:07:44Wow. In fairness, Sharon, it's only fair. I had my vagina that
0:07:45 > 0:07:50tightened, I did it myself at home with a Singer sewing machine, it was
0:07:51 > 0:07:53very successful. LAUGHTER
0:07:54 > 0:07:56But now, the love affair in the original Star Wars films, we all
0:07:57 > 0:08:01remember it was so beautiful and the famous scene in The Empire Strikes
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Back where, you're not turned into stone, you're turned into something
0:08:05 > 0:08:09Snells Something else, yes, I don't remember what it was, sorry. Yes,
0:08:10 > 0:08:10I'm sorry. We've got the lovely moment when it's about to happen.
0:08:11 > 0:08:58Here it is. (Chewbacca moans)
0:08:59 > 0:09:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Chewy seems more upset than Princess
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Leia? Yes. You were in time with the clip, a natural knee-jerk. That's
0:09:12 > 0:09:23one of my favourite Chewbacca moments, that "arrrrr". Did I take
0:09:24 > 0:09:27you back? He's back on set now. There is an awful lot of people in
0:09:28 > 0:09:31the audience who love you. Love you, Harrison. All right, calm down. So
0:09:32 > 0:09:37I'm just going to give an opportunity for some of them to say
0:09:38 > 0:09:40"I love you". So where... Look, hands right up there. You already
0:09:41 > 0:09:46did it, didn't you? OK, what's your name? Anna. And stand up. Where are
0:09:47 > 0:09:50you from, Anna? Surrey. Surrey? Yes. Love Harrison. That's the point.
0:09:51 > 0:09:56Wait a minute. We are getting to that. OK, so there he is, he's not
0:09:57 > 0:09:59getting any nearer. Look him in the eyes and tell him. Oh, wait for the
0:10:00 > 0:10:02music. MUSIC.
0:10:03 > 0:10:13Look him in the eyes. I love you.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15I know. Whoa! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:16 > 0:10:25Very good. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
0:10:26 > 0:10:33Great action figures, ladies and gentlemen. We've got some here. Oh,
0:10:34 > 0:10:37no, you've dropped your hammer! It's yours. Have you seen this yet?
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Not that particular one, but the likeness is incredible.
0:10:42 > 0:10:50It is uncanny, isn't it, ladies and gentlemen? Slightly sedated version.
0:10:51 > 0:10:58You press you here and you talk. Lightning shall strike you down!
0:10:59 > 0:13:08Jesus. Strike you down... Angry. Natalie's action figure. Here she
0:13:09 > 0:13:30You are not leaning against anything I don't think. You have just chosen
0:13:31 > 0:13:35to lean? There was a pillar there. There was? Yes, they cropped it. How
0:13:36 > 0:13:41annoying. One hand on your keys there, I see. Then we've got the
0:13:42 > 0:13:45traditional wooden fence denim lean. Yes, denim is very much part of
0:13:46 > 0:13:54rock'n'roll. Of course. Yes, as is leaning.
0:13:55 > 0:14:00April, a very radical lean in April. No, he's in a street and he's going,
0:14:01 > 0:15:26what am I leaning on? ! Am I leaning?
0:15:27 > 0:15:34came away without a song. Wow. We got very close one day because I
0:15:35 > 0:15:40brought in a song called Golden Rings and it was, "I can buy you
0:15:41 > 0:16:01golden rings" and it was like, oh God,
0:16:02 > 0:16:03what am I leaning on? ! Am I leaning?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07the tea? ! Do you know... Shock, yeah, it was the tea that did
0:16:08 > 0:16:20it! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:21 > 0:16:25No, no no. We are going to let people who like you ask the two
0:16:26 > 0:16:28doctors questions. Right. See if you can answer them.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32They'll need somewhere comfortable to sit to ask the questions, so
0:16:33 > 0:16:33behold the red chair, ladies and gentlemen!
0:16:34 > 0:16:41Here it is. So, who's up first? Hi. Hi. What's
0:16:42 > 0:16:54your name? David. Very good. I believe you are a Dr Who fan? I am.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56No, I really do believe it. LAUGHTER
0:16:57 > 0:17:00We 're not laughing at you David. We are not laughing at you. Were you
0:17:01 > 0:17:05meant to be in Raging Bull or was that just a story? Yes, I was. No, I
0:17:06 > 0:17:09wasn't meant to be in Raging Bull. It was one of my first interviews, I
0:17:10 > 0:17:14was starting out. I don't know how my agent got me in the room with
0:17:15 > 0:17:20him, but he did and I surprised he doesn't remember me because I walked
0:17:21 > 0:17:27in looking like a hooker. Was it in New York? It was in LA, yeah...
0:17:28 > 0:17:31People who look like hookering, people who look like hookers.
0:17:32 > 0:17:39Hookers in white dresses, yes. I didn't think I had a chance. I was
0:17:40 > 0:17:47going to swear on this. What were you going to stay? -- say? A shot in
0:17:48 > 0:17:53hell. A shot in hell! Wow, where do you live? !
0:17:54 > 0:18:01LAUGHTER A shot in hell, oohh, woo-hoo... I
0:18:02 > 0:18:08can only pollise, Sir Bob! -- apologise, Sir Bob.
0:18:09 > 0:18:15Who's up next? Hello. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
0:18:16 > 0:18:25He looks more like you than you do. That's where your gear went. What's
0:18:26 > 0:18:29your name? Er, Matt. No! Wow. Now, have you made yourself look like
0:18:30 > 0:18:37Matt Smith? No, I think I was born this way. Tragedy, isn't it?
0:18:38 > 0:18:42Benedict, are people still comparing you to an otter? I don't know, are
0:18:43 > 0:18:48they? They are. There are some new ones, have you seen The New Ones?
0:18:49 > 0:18:53No, I haven't seen The New Ones. They're called mimmis. This is an
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Internet thing. This is Benedict. You think that's a boy, doesn't look
0:18:59 > 0:19:05like an otter? Yes, he does you. Look at it. He strikes a pose, he
0:19:06 > 0:19:11strikes a thoughtful pose. Otters don't think that much. Yet they do.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16They do. Here's the thing, I mean I'm the one who's not doing the pose
0:19:17 > 0:19:20properly, that's the correct steeple of fingers underneath the chin.
0:19:21 > 0:19:27Mine's in front of my face. I take notes from my men. You as Julian
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Assange. Right. Otter Julian Assange!
0:19:31 > 0:19:34LAUGHTER And next, the final one. Here you
0:19:35 > 0:19:40are waving goodbye and you think, otters don't have arms, how can they
0:19:41 > 0:19:43do that. Yes, they do! LAUGHTER
0:19:44 > 0:19:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Genius.
0:19:46 > 0:20:07Now, who's up next? Who's up next? CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:08 > 0:20:14My favourite part of the show. Can you guess what wooden creature
0:20:15 > 0:20:23Mark Freeman might be? Careful. Cat wheezele. Unbelievable. Cat
0:20:24 > 0:20:34wheezele? -- weasel. An old tramp in the woods. No, it is a hedgehog. No,
0:20:35 > 0:20:41a hedgehog is not express expressive.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47LAUGHTER I'm so wrong. So, here's Martin. Here's Martin, right. And
0:20:48 > 0:20:52you would think a hedgehog could never look like that. Never.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57LAUGHTER Amazing.
0:20:58 > 0:21:04Happy hedgehog. Then we've got less happy Martin. Does he have a
0:21:05 > 0:21:09hedgehog to look like hum? Yes, he does.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12I don't think he looks like a hedgehog at all. I think that's
0:21:13 > 0:21:18anybody making a face and put a hedgehog next to them and they look
0:21:19 > 0:21:24like a hedgehog. OK, explain this one then. This is so specific.
0:21:25 > 0:21:34OK. OK. Now, look at the hedgehog. Hello!
0:21:35 > 0:21:42I rest my case, your honour, yes. OK, if you don't mind, this is the
0:21:43 > 0:21:46clincher, this is Martin Freeman encountering fans and, how can a
0:21:47 > 0:21:57hedgehog do this. It's not possible. I'm told this isn't photo shopped.
0:21:58 > 0:22:05LAUGHTER Well done the hedgehog, great work.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10OK, now, famously, you were very close to Princess Diana, but even
0:22:11 > 0:22:18before that, I think you played at Prince Andrew's 21st? Yes. At
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Windsor Castle, yes. And that was a very nervy experience because Ray
0:22:23 > 0:22:28Cooper, my percussion player and myself played. Suddenly you looked
0:22:29 > 0:22:32on the ballny and they were all gold chairs and they filled up and you
0:22:33 > 0:22:37thought oh God -- balcony. I was in a ballroom with a band and Diana
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Spencer, she wasn't prince Charles's wife then, she said, do you want to
0:22:43 > 0:22:46dance, so I can't dance anyway, but we did a charleston. Then we went
0:22:47 > 0:22:51into dinner and then it was a buffet dinner and Prenn six Anne said shall
0:22:52 > 0:22:56we go to the disco -- Princess Anne. It's the quietest disco you've ever
0:22:57 > 0:23:02heard and I had to dance with Princess Anne and I was thinking, I
0:23:03 > 0:23:09was born in a council house and the Queen said, "can we join you" as if
0:23:10 > 0:23:15I was going to say "no, fuck off, right" and they segued into rock
0:23:16 > 0:23:21around-the-clock by Bill Haley and it was surreal because the Queen was
0:23:22 > 0:23:27going like dar-dar-dar, it was a most surreal moment of my life.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29After being born in a council house and remembering rock
0:23:30 > 0:23:35around-the-clock, the odds of you dancing with the Queen at Windsor
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Castle are very, very low. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Amazing. My agent called me up one day and it
0:23:44 > 0:23:46was quite early on in my career I think, I wasn't very old and she
0:23:47 > 0:23:54said, love, a couple of things and she went through a couple of things
0:23:55 > 0:24:00and then she said "hm-hm, love, Earl... Can I ask you a question"
0:24:01 > 0:24:07and I said, go ahead and she said "have you ever do you think been in
0:24:08 > 0:24:12a porn film? " And I said "ooh, I beg your pardon" and she said, "the
0:24:13 > 0:24:16papers have been on to me and they've seen such a film with
0:24:17 > 0:24:22someone with your name and apparently it looks a bit like you".
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I was thinking have I? I mean, really? She said possibly when you
0:24:27 > 0:24:31were in Italy, you know, on your gap year and I thought, "oh, yes, that
0:24:32 > 0:24:36probably happened, I was probably drugged". ". I was probably drugged
0:24:37 > 0:24:41and set upon. And they put it in a film. We did do some research and
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Jennifer Saunders does exist. She's not here, don't worry. You looked
0:24:46 > 0:24:49worry there. Please, God, please, God. We found some of her early
0:24:50 > 0:24:54work. We are not going to show it to you, don't worry. Have you ever seen
0:24:55 > 0:24:59her? No, of course I haven't seen her, I didn't think she existed.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04There she is, Girl of the Month. Do you want that for your collection.
0:25:05 > 0:25:10What is that? Genuine, Jennifer Saunders probably watching with her
0:25:11 > 0:25:14grandchildren right now. Wow. That's really quite frightening, isn't it?
0:25:15 > 0:25:27If I were you, I would say it was you. Girl of the Month. Bob's going,
0:25:28 > 0:25:31er... This is all Jennifer. This isn't you? She doesn't take her
0:25:32 > 0:25:42pants off. This is very demure. She does over the page. Oh, there it is,
0:25:43 > 0:25:44yes. LAUGHTER
0:25:45 > 0:25:50And that's Jennifer Saunders. It's the French Saunders there
0:25:51 > 0:25:56actually. Your fans obviously love you. They are very respectful. And I
0:25:57 > 0:26:01love them. Is there a reason why they do this? They film themselves
0:26:02 > 0:26:05watching your videos? Yeah, they're awesome. They started a radio
0:26:06 > 0:26:11station called Radio Art Pop now. Have you come across Mr Motor Mouth?
0:26:12 > 0:26:17I think I know who you are talking about. This is the first time you
0:26:18 > 0:26:24watched Applause. Yes, I do. Here we go.
0:26:25 > 0:26:46She's flying. Oh, yes, bitch. Yes, turn around.
0:26:47 > 0:26:56Oooh, bitch. He's amazing. Are you sure he's a
0:26:57 > 0:26:59fan? Well, get this, we thought if he was that excited to watch a video
0:27:00 > 0:27:05of you, how excited would... No, he's not here!
0:27:06 > 0:27:11LAUGHTER How exciting would it be if we Skyped him? Amazing. So I'm going
0:27:12 > 0:27:18to Skype him now. Skyping. Hang on. Can you see me? Hello? Hi, Graham,
0:27:19 > 0:27:28how are you, darling? I'm very good. Zachary? Is it Zachary? Yes. Your
0:27:29 > 0:27:33hair is amazing? Thanks, darling. OK, so brace yourself, Zachary,
0:27:34 > 0:27:45brace yourself, Zachary, because I'm moving the camera. Zachary, here is,
0:27:46 > 0:27:55Lady Gaga. Argh... Arghs... Yes, bitch, oh, bitch. That lace and the
0:27:56 > 0:28:00sheer and the necklace, honey, you worked bitch, you ain't that. You're
0:28:01 > 0:28:04so famous right now, you've no idea, you're all over UK television. There
0:28:05 > 0:28:11you are. Any little act Pellow bit for the album, would you do a line
0:28:12 > 0:28:24or something to blow his mind? Sure. "I can't help the way I'm feeling
0:28:25 > 0:28:31#... # CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Zachary, we'll send you a tape. Thank you so much. I love you
0:28:35 > 0:28:40Zachary, I love you, I love you, I watch you all the time. I love you,
0:28:41 > 0:28:44baby and you look so proud and happy I'm so proud of you baby, I'm so
0:28:45 > 0:28:50proud of you. Well done, Zachary. Bye-bye. What a nice man!
0:28:51 > 0:28:55In this country as an actress, you went to Hollywood, which seemed at
0:28:56 > 0:28:58the time surprising, you showed up in junior with Arnold
0:28:59 > 0:29:05Schwarzenegger? Yes, it was fun actually. Was that fun to do? He was
0:29:06 > 0:29:09actually orange, Arnold. He was really and truly orange. I believe
0:29:10 > 0:29:14there are a lot of them about here now like Simon Cowell. But he was
0:29:15 > 0:29:22very nice, very courtly, you know, Austrian and courtly. Yes. Can he
0:29:23 > 0:29:25act? No, no, no, no. APPLAUSE
0:29:26 > 0:29:31Don't be silly. He was very honest about that.
0:29:32 > 0:29:35Talking of acting, Colin Farrell? Yes. You've acted with some amazing
0:29:36 > 0:29:40people over the years? A couple of times. But even when you were young
0:29:41 > 0:29:45you seemed so unintimidated, there was a story of you working with
0:29:46 > 0:29:49Bruce Willis to his face? That was intimidation finding a very loud
0:29:50 > 0:29:54voice, so I was a bit can cheeky with him. Was it a courtroom scene?
0:29:55 > 0:30:00When he had trouble with that word? Yes. He was playing the trial judge
0:30:01 > 0:30:06advocate and I was for the accused. I stood up with great overacting
0:30:07 > 0:30:13zeal and said "objection, your honour", and he looked at me and he
0:30:14 > 0:30:19went "line". And I heard from the monitor, the script supervisor go
0:30:20 > 0:30:26"overruled". And he said "overruled".
0:30:27 > 0:30:30We were gad Papps. I said to him that day, you ied better get an
0:30:31 > 0:30:35early night because you have a word to learn for tomorrow, to which he
0:30:36 > 0:30:41responded "fuck you, Irish! ". I said I'd do the accent.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46Obviously, you wanted to be an actor, that was your ambition, you
0:30:47 > 0:30:51didn't set tout be a movie star, but that's happened, so does a day go by
0:30:52 > 0:30:54when people don't shout out, you know, lines from movies and things
0:30:55 > 0:31:02to you, or does that happen all the time? No, I don't get that that
0:31:03 > 0:31:06often from people. Do you remember that night we were having dinner. It
0:31:07 > 0:31:11was Grey Pride Parade night... Of course. And we were downtown and so
0:31:12 > 0:31:16he had his back to the door and I was, you know, facing him and all
0:31:17 > 0:31:20these Queens came in, all these drag Queens, fabulous came in and they
0:31:21 > 0:31:31saw me and they were look woo and they came round the corner and saw
0:31:32 > 0:31:33him and it was like woo (low-key woo)
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Were you wine and dined by Hollywood agents? No, Ian Huntley go over
0:31:37 > 0:31:40there, no. They are making your show in America and you didn't go? That's
0:31:41 > 0:31:45right. -- I didn't go over there.
0:31:46 > 0:31:52I didn't want to go. Is that a bit weird. Have you ever been? To
0:31:53 > 0:31:58America, no. You have never been to America? No, is that illegal. So
0:31:59 > 0:32:03knowing flow rant, Jo. But that's why people like me. There are places
0:32:04 > 0:32:14in the world I would rather go in the world rather than America. Like?
0:32:15 > 0:32:23Burma and the Ukraine. Both of which are one billion times better than
0:32:24 > 0:32:26the United States. APPLAUSE
0:32:27 > 0:34:32We must talk about Halloween. Oh, Halloween. Yes. This has become a
0:34:33 > 0:34:39The point is, I hope to be unrecognised. I think you might be
0:34:40 > 0:34:46able to be recognised on this one. I think on this one you are
0:34:47 > 0:34:51unrecognisable. It was the wine that gave me away!
0:34:52 > 0:35:00Are you smoking there? I hadn't gotten that far!
0:35:01 > 0:35:19LAUGHTER Here we are, fingers on the buzzers
0:35:20 > 0:35:22who. Who suffers from scholarsophobia? Do you know what it
0:35:23 > 0:35:29is What does it mean? I can't remember anything? !
0:35:30 > 0:35:36LAUGHTER You have worms. I think I don't even
0:35:37 > 0:35:43like to say the word. Fear of words? Worms, worms, worms.let You are
0:35:44 > 0:35:48frightened of worms? One jumped in my sandal when I was a very little
0:35:49 > 0:35:55girl in wet weather. Jumped? ! Yes. You said that was a worm? Yes. Have
0:35:56 > 0:36:00you been scared of worms ever since? Yes. You can just walk away from
0:36:01 > 0:36:05them, you know. LAUGHTER They're very quick, the
0:36:06 > 0:36:11worms in her garden. Was she born here, your wife? Yes. Were you at
0:36:12 > 0:36:17the Hello Teddy moment for the birth? Yes, I was. Down the business
0:36:18 > 0:36:20end? Yes, I was. Well done. It was like my favourite pub burning down.
0:36:21 > 0:36:41Yes. LAUGHTER
0:36:42 > 0:36:49No tread left on that tyre. Have you rebuilt her? Er, haven't
0:36:50 > 0:36:53bothered rebuilding it yet because there might be another one on the
0:36:54 > 0:37:02way. I don't want to go about it twice. Yes. I think best to live
0:37:03 > 0:37:06with the ruins for now. Ive. This This feels like overhearing
0:37:07 > 0:37:14something at a doctor's surgery. We'll just live with it. Which
0:37:15 > 0:37:22camera, sorry, Ida. You have a beautiful foo.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26LAUGHTER Robbie did the radio last Saturday
0:37:27 > 0:37:34and was going, I say things I shouldn't on chat shows and I was
0:37:35 > 0:37:37going "no, no, you'll be fine. " I'm always terrified because I always
0:37:38 > 0:37:42end up having to apologise to somebody or send a bunch of flowers
0:37:43 > 0:37:46to somebody. I was on stage, I can't remember where it was, Stuttgart or
0:37:47 > 0:37:53somewhere that hit her done all the speeches from. Yes. 80,000 people in
0:37:54 > 0:37:59front of me and you sort of have... Robbie life in Nuremberg. It was
0:38:00 > 0:38:06Nuremberg, it was, it was! Of course it was.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10Go on, go on, go on. So anyway, when you are singing, you could be
0:38:11 > 0:38:13singing but also at the same time you could be having a bit of
0:38:14 > 0:38:16dialogue with yourself, words come out, performance happens, sometimes
0:38:17 > 0:38:21when you are that comfortable you're going, check them out, she's fit,
0:38:22 > 0:38:25look at her boobs, seen you looking at the boobs, it's OK you are Robbie
0:38:26 > 0:38:32you can look at them, that kind of stuff, then this particular night,
0:38:33 > 0:38:3680,000 people in front of me and I'm singing Angels er whatever it is and
0:38:37 > 0:38:41in the back of my mind I went "look at these lot, they really like me, I
0:38:42 > 0:38:44really like them too. It's amazing, brought up with the German thing and
0:38:45 > 0:38:49my grandma used to have a Jerry under the bed she peed in and now
0:38:50 > 0:38:54look at all of these lot loving me and I love them it's fantastic here,
0:38:55 > 0:39:02I'll show them my appreciation after I've finished singing this song. "
0:39:03 > 0:39:20Then Angels finish and I go dtion Deutschland Deutschland... #
0:39:21 > 0:39:29And 80,000 people booed me. It would have been worse if they'd
0:39:30 > 0:39:34gone, finally a leader! Yes.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38APPLAUSE In international incidents, an
0:39:39 > 0:39:45incident nearly occurred. Where would we be without a sense of
0:39:46 > 0:39:50humour? Germany. We can't let Mary go without
0:39:51 > 0:39:55celebrating one of our favourite websites about cakes where people
0:39:56 > 0:39:59have taken pictures and these are real cakes, they've been ordered and
0:40:00 > 0:40:04paid for and it's a thing of like, you order the cake and it goes wrong
0:40:05 > 0:40:12I think with the person that answers the phone in the bakery. You will
0:40:13 > 0:40:16get the idea. Thanks for a great year in purple.
0:40:17 > 0:40:23That's blue. They've got it so wrong, it's not IN purple!
0:40:24 > 0:40:26I like that. This is another again, very straightforward one, on the
0:40:27 > 0:40:31phone, what do you want on top of your cake? Happy birthday with
0:40:32 > 0:40:46balloons and crap like that. So they say to you, what do you want
0:40:47 > 0:40:48on your cake. I want sprinkles. LAUGHTER
0:40:49 > 0:40:52OK. Now here is the thing. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing could go
0:40:53 > 0:40:55wrong. You go in with a memory stick and you say, can you put this on a
0:40:56 > 0:41:11cake. Oh, no! To be fair, they did a pretty good
0:41:12 > 0:41:16job of that. It's great. Nicely ex-caused. Finally, surely,
0:41:17 > 0:41:18surely there's nothing nicer than a cake to celebrate the arrival of a
0:41:19 > 0:41:30baby. LAUGHTER
0:41:31 > 0:43:52Great cakes.