0:00:02 > 0:00:04On the show tonight, star of the new RoboCop film.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Wouldn't it be great to be half human, half machine?
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Anyway, let's start...
0:00:08 > 0:00:12Let's start the... Let's start the...
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Let's start the show!
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Hello! Hello! Hello!
0:00:37 > 0:00:41Oh, you're too kind. Too kind. Oh, you're very kind.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Thank you very much.
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Hello.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Yes, thank you very much.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Hello and welcome.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52We have an amazing array of guests on tonight's show.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55RoboCop star Gary Oldman is here.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Yeah.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01Star of hit TV show Hostages Toni Collette is on the show.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Yes, she is.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Top comedy actor Nick Frost is here! Yes!
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Plus, we've got music from the lovely London Grammar, everybody!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Yeah!
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Love them. They're so cool. They are so cool.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Hey, Toni is currently starring in Channel 4's Hostages.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22Don't know if you've seen it.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24You do look at it and think,
0:01:24 > 0:01:25"That's a terrible way to treat people."
0:01:25 > 0:01:28I mean, does anyone really deserve to be gagged like that? Do they?
0:01:32 > 0:01:35They're lovely girls and they're getting better all the time.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Looking forward to chatting to Gary Oldman. Such a great actor.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43He won critical acclaim for his portrayal of Beethoven.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50No! Not that Beethoven. Mind you, that was a good film.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Did you see it? It was very good.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56I loved the bit where he chased squirrels in the West Country.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Oh, poor them. Laughing with you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Now, Gary starred as Commissioner Gordon
0:02:03 > 0:02:04in Batman Returns, The Dark Knight
0:02:04 > 0:02:06and, of course, The Dark Knight Rises.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I don't think there are going to be any more Batman films.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Gary's up for it, but Batman let himself go a little.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Gary will shortly be starring in Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24It's the sequel to Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27a very thought-provoking film, ladies and gentlemen,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30that portrayed the apes in a very sympathetic light.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Here's the writer.
0:02:34 > 0:02:3699 friends, nearly finished.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Gary is to be seen in the hit new film RoboCop,
0:02:41 > 0:02:44where he plays the man who creates the RoboCop.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45Very impressive robot.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Better than his first effort.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51The plot centres around RoboCop
0:02:51 > 0:02:54yearning to have a normal relationship with his wife.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58You do think, "How can a robot ever be intimate with a woman?"
0:02:58 > 0:03:00RHYTHMIC SQUEAKING
0:03:00 > 0:03:01Let's get some guests on!
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Later, we'll be having music from London Grammar!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09But first, he's the lord of the dance, it's Nick Frost, everybody!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13There he is! Hello, sir.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- Sit down, sit down. - Hello, everyone.- Nick Frost!
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I've got a sixth sense that she's going to be great.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24It's Toni Collette!
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Wow!
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Like an angel, a vision! Hello, darling.- Hello!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Sit down! Toni Collette!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35And it's Gary Oldman!
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Oh! Hello!
0:03:38 > 0:03:41So nice to see you! Hello, hello!
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Sitty down! Sitty down!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Oh! Lovely to see you.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52You look like you've been at three very different events.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55No-one phoned ahead, did they?
0:03:55 > 0:03:59Now, I'm looking at them and I'm trying to guess
0:03:59 > 0:04:02from Nick and Gary whether Toni Collette
0:04:02 > 0:04:04greeted them in your normal manner.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- Did you?- Normal? What's normal?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Don't you like a bit of smack action?
0:04:11 > 0:04:12Was that you?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16That was you!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18You hoped it was him.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Um, I've been known to do a bit of that.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21I don't know why it happens.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24It's just in the moment, I just slap people on the bum.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- But you do it to people you've never met before.- That's right, yes.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Famous people you've never met before.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Um, well, one person I didn't know was Jeremy Piven.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- I was at the Emmys... - NICK LAUGHS
0:04:35 > 0:04:39I know! And I was seated on the aisle, then there was my husband,
0:04:39 > 0:04:41and then Jeremy Piven, and some entourage folk.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44He got up to get past like this and I was like, "Hello",
0:04:44 > 0:04:46and I just did it.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48He liked it very much.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Oh!
0:04:50 > 0:04:54Presumably, people would be too scared to do that to Gary Oldman...
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- Well, you've played... - Give me half an hour.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01Presumably, people coming up to you have changed over the years, because
0:05:01 > 0:05:04you must have had culty people and now do you have lots of children?
0:05:04 > 0:05:09Yes, my fan base after Harry Potter
0:05:09 > 0:05:12went from sort of 40 to 4.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15That's lovely.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19They're so genuine.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23They come up and they want their picture taken and their autograph.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24It's very sweet.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26And when they grow up and see your other films,
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- they're going to get the fright of their life.- "What a weirdo."
0:05:30 > 0:05:32LAUGHTER
0:05:32 > 0:05:37In terms of people coming up to people... The last time you were
0:05:37 > 0:05:41on the show, Nick, you were on with Sandra Bullock and Samuel L Jackson.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Yeah.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Now, is that story true? - Yeah, I was on the show with...
0:05:48 > 0:05:49No, no.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52But Samuel L Jackson...
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Is it true, the thing that he thought about you?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56He thought I was a part of the security team.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Yes.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59No, I don't think... I've heard that.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02I heard that the other day and it really made me laugh,
0:06:02 > 0:06:03cos it could be true.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06But the first time I ever met Jeremy Clarkson, I was introduced
0:06:06 > 0:06:10to him and he thought I worked at the venue we were at.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14And he said, "Will you go off and get me a cordless mic, please?"
0:06:14 > 0:06:16And I said, "Yeah, give me a second."
0:06:16 > 0:06:19And I just went off and I didn't come back.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Listen, tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we've got
0:06:23 > 0:06:26three really good but different films to talk about.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27There's a dark Nick Hornby comedy drama,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30we've got a salsa romcom, FINALLY...
0:06:30 > 0:06:33and the return of RoboCop.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- RoboCop.- Well, it's not really a return. It's a brand-new RoboCop.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39It's what they're calling a reboot. This is the new word now.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- We're rebooting it.- What do you play?
0:06:42 > 0:06:46- I play the doctor, the man who sort of...- The doctor, the man.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- That puts him together. - You make him?- I make him.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Now, the extraordinary thing is...
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- Cos how long ago is it since the first one?- '87.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Back then, it was very much science fiction,
0:06:58 > 0:07:01but now we're a hair's breadth of this being reality.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Yeah, it's science fact.
0:07:03 > 0:07:08Of all the remakes they can remake, I thought this made sense to me.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- It could do with a reboot. - We've caught up with ourselves.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Yeah, we've caught up with ourselves.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17- Technologically, we've caught up with it.- We're in the future.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19We've got a clip.
0:07:19 > 0:07:24This is you and Michael Keaton debating the pros and cons
0:07:24 > 0:07:27of creating a man and machine RoboCop.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28Here we go.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- What's wrong with it? - No, nothing, nothing.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33The software sends the information to the brain,
0:07:33 > 0:07:38- then the brain relates this to the AI module...- Yeah, a year later.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Computers finish the job.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43Raymond, you wanted a man inside a machine,
0:07:43 > 0:07:46and that's what you've got, but the human element will always be present.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Fear, instinct, bias, compassion.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- They will always interfere with the system.- OK.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54But, Dennett, I've got to give the American people something
0:07:54 > 0:07:57they can root for, something aspirational, right?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00They have to believe in this thing. Pretty good? That's not...
0:08:00 > 0:08:01I don't know how to sell "OK".
0:08:01 > 0:08:03So, I don't care how you to do it, I'm asking you.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07Come on, can you help me? Just get him to do that.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Get him to do that.- He's a machine.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- I know, but it's a man inside a machine.- NO!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13That's a man inside a machine! Right there!
0:08:13 > 0:08:16And his life depends on it, and the future of OmniCorp depends on it,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19so get your ass back to China and get it fixed.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I don't care how you do it, just go do it!
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Yeah.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Listen, we were talking about technology and how advanced
0:08:30 > 0:08:35it is, so we looked online, and we discovered there is this robot.
0:08:35 > 0:08:40You kinda think, how lame will that be? That's just going to be rubbish.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44It's by... I think it's called a Nao robot
0:08:44 > 0:08:47and it's from a company called Active Robots.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49I think this one's from France.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Now, before I show it to you, and if there are any kids watching...
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- Oh, no.- No, no, it's not rude.- Oh, right.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00If kids are watching, before you fall in love with this thing,
0:09:00 > 0:09:05I'm afraid I must tell Mummy and Daddy, it costs £12,000.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08So...they may have to sell the car.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11If you don't mind walking to school, it's fine.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I think it is quite cool.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- It's in here.- Oh, you actually have it?- We've got it.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20- Is this a loan or did you pay £12,000?- Oh, we borrowed it.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22So don't let anybody spill anything on it.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26I hate its overly casual starting position.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34ROBOT: Do you want something?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Follow me.- No.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Wow.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I will try it one more time...
0:09:47 > 0:09:49ROBOT: Do you want something?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Follow me.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Follow me.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54HE GASPS
0:09:56 > 0:09:58You have to move so it follows you.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00It is not very good on carpet.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04If you have spent all the money, you don't have carpet.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- ROBOT: I want to come with you. - OK, baby.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13AUDIENCE: Aww!
0:10:13 > 0:10:16So, this is for lonely people.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Isn't that amazing? It's adorable.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I am going to make him stop. Put your arm down like that.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Oh, give me a break!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Sit down.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38ROBOT: Sit down.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44AUDIENCE: Aw!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Look at his weary old bones!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Now, this bit... That's that.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I literally cannot believe what I am seeing.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57- So, where does the monkey go in? - Oops!
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Sorry.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03It's feeling very vulnerable right now.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I think it's reaching for a banana.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16Hang on...
0:11:16 > 0:11:19ROBOT: Do you want something?
0:11:20 > 0:11:21Stand up.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23ROBOT: Stand up.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Shall I move my water?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28I think for 12 grand, you could get it to say please and thank you.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30You should go to Toys R Us.
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Careful, love.
0:11:36 > 0:11:37ROBOT: Please help me.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Did you hear that? He said "please help me".
0:11:40 > 0:11:42It's so vulnerable.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46I kind of feel sorry for it.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47- Wait.- Can't we release it?
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- I'll just centre it. - GARY: Would you like another whiskey?
0:11:55 > 0:11:59- ROBOT: What do you want me to do? - Gangnam Style.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01ROBOT: Gangnam Style.
0:12:01 > 0:12:02- GASPING:- Shut up!
0:12:04 > 0:12:06I'm not joking.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08What?!
0:12:08 > 0:12:11MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy
0:12:16 > 0:12:18How cool is that?!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Wait till you see. It gets better.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Wait till it gets to the break in the song!
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Ladies and gentlemen, our robot!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Very good. That's good, right?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I am just going to take it away, cos it'll make noise. It beeps.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- Oh! - AUDIENCE GASP
0:12:58 > 0:13:01I didn't drop it! That is on you!
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- Siri is going to get very jealous.- That was amazing.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07It is kind of amazing.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10But what does it actually do? How does it help you in your life?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Did you not just see it perform Gangnam Style?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Other than that.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16APPLAUSE
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Anyway, so, RoboCop...
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Because, frankly, you could do it at home...
0:13:23 > 0:13:26But they're hoping it is going to be a franchise?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29I think they're hoping, yeah. Of course.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Cos you're good at franchises.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- Batman...- I have been very lucky with them.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37And, of course, Harry Potter.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Harry Potter...
0:13:39 > 0:13:43and RoboCop, and I have just done Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- Of course, yes.- Believe it or not,
0:13:45 > 0:13:50I am the highest grossing actor in cinema history.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Wow! Gary Oldman!
0:13:52 > 0:13:55APPLAUSE
0:14:03 > 0:14:08And Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy... Another one of those in the works?
0:14:08 > 0:14:09I have no idea.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12I hope. It'd be nice to revisit Smiley's people.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15I hope they are not making it without you.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17You never know.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Awkward!
0:14:23 > 0:14:25I was reading about that... There's a weird thing...
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Obviously, you are English,
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- but you had a dialect coach for the English accent.- I did.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Cos I have lived in America for so long...
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- Where did you live? - I live in California.
0:14:38 > 0:14:43My kids are American and that is what I hear around me all day.
0:14:43 > 0:14:48I have little things I do not notice that slip in.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I had a voice coach.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52I had to brush up my English.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56- Wow.- Well, you'll be Smiley, and then suddenly you would hit
0:14:56 > 0:15:01a hard R, or a weird sound would come out.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05So I needed to have English lessons.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Cos Abbie Cornish, who's in RoboCop...
0:15:07 > 0:15:13- She said you do a very good Australian accent.- Do you?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Give it a crack, mate!
0:15:16 > 0:15:20LIGHT AUSSIE ACCENT: Now I'm on the spot with someone.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23I don't know... There's that sort of
0:15:23 > 0:15:28slight, subtle kind of accent
0:15:28 > 0:15:31that just sort of touches the words.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34- That's quite good, isn't it? - Very good.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37STRONG AUSSIE ACCENT: Then there is the full-on.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41OWN VOICE: Passable?
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Absolutely!
0:15:44 > 0:15:45And you are talking to the master.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- Toni Collette, you are good at accents.- Sometimes.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- Oh, no, you are though. - Very nice of you. Thanks.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Have you ever had to do accents?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55I played a guy called Danny Butterman
0:15:55 > 0:15:57who was from the West Country...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- WEST COUNTRY ACCENT:- ..so I had to kinda do a Bristol accent
0:16:00 > 0:16:02for a lot of the time.
0:16:02 > 0:16:03- Beautiful!- That's very good.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07A lot of people thought I was from Bristol but I am not.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10In terms of voices...
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I didn't know this till you were coming on the show.
0:16:12 > 0:16:17- Gary Oldman, you are the voice in Call Of Duty.- Yes, one of them.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I am General Reznov.
0:16:19 > 0:16:24I'm more famous for that than anything else.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26That's a big deal.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29What's Call Of Duty? What is that?
0:16:29 > 0:16:33It's not THAT big a deal.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35I'm not down...
0:16:35 > 0:16:37It's a World War II game.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38It's what they call a first person shooter.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Where you take control of a warrior.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46You take control of a warrior...
0:16:46 > 0:16:49You take control of a brave warrior and guide him
0:16:49 > 0:16:52through battles of the Second World War.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57- You do play it?- I have done.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01I have a baby now and I cannot really break away from fatherhood
0:17:01 > 0:17:06to say, "I want to go upstairs for five hours and shoot people."
0:17:06 > 0:17:10That doesn't cut any mustard, so I have given up, really.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- How much do you say in it?- Tonnes.
0:17:12 > 0:17:18It is four days in a studio and you scream your head off.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23I've never shouted so much. You have to do it in four minutes bursts.
0:17:23 > 0:17:30There are the variables, the directives, that the player can go.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34You have to give them all the options.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37And they have this thing, which is battle cry.
0:17:37 > 0:17:43It is your voice but it is over music and battle sounds.
0:17:43 > 0:17:50So, it literally is a scream fest for about four days.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53I was in one with Kiefer Sutherland. It was funny.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56He came out and said, "Hey, man, I have not screamed so much
0:17:56 > 0:17:58"since I was married."
0:18:02 > 0:18:06- How loud do you get? - I could do it for you.- Do it.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08It's sort of like...
0:18:08 > 0:18:11SHOUTING: Here! On the ledge!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Shoot him!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Attack!
0:18:18 > 0:18:20For four days?
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Toni, talking of accents, in your new movie,
0:18:25 > 0:18:27you do an English one.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30It's A Long Way Down. Opens up March 21st.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32You were in About A Boy.
0:18:32 > 0:18:36This is your second Nick Hornby novel adaptation.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37It's true, yeah.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40They call it a dark comedy, which always makes you slightly worried.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- But I think it's more comedy than dark.- It is really funny.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47It is also heartbreaking, but it's really bloody funny.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Maybe it's wrong, but I find the premise funny.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52I found it funny.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55It's about four different people who don't want to live any more.
0:18:55 > 0:19:01They meet at the point of where they are about to not live any more.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05They end up becoming, inadvertently becoming,
0:19:05 > 0:19:08friends and, in a way, saving each other.
0:19:08 > 0:19:13Yep. It is the most unlikely group of people.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15I can't believe this.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19Is it true you hadn't noticed that, also in About A Boy,
0:19:19 > 0:19:23your other Nick Hornby film, you also played a suicidal person?
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Clearly, it is my specialty.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- Did you just...? - I didn't think about it.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32A suicidal person isn't just suicidal.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34There's a whole other life...
0:19:34 > 0:19:38There is a big life. That is perhaps part of their life.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40It is two very different characters
0:19:40 > 0:19:43who perhaps might have wanted to do that.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45The scene we have is from the beginning of the movie.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- Did we mention it was really funny? - We did.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51The four people - it's you, Pierce Brosnan...
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Aaron Paul and Imogen Poots.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56This is you meeting Pierce Brosnan on top of...
0:19:56 > 0:19:58It's called Toppers Tower,
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- because it is where people go to top themselves.- Yeah.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03This is the two of you meeting on Toppers Tower.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Excuse me? Excuse me?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Hi. Um...
0:20:14 > 0:20:19I am not entirely sure how to phrase this but, are you going to be long?
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- What?- I wasn't sure whether to wait my turn.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26I haven't considered the wire.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I would really like to borrow your ladder.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Maybe I should just wait.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- I'll wait.- Are you just going to stand there and watch?
0:20:33 > 0:20:34No, of course...
0:20:34 > 0:20:37You'll be wanting to do it on your own, I imagine.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38You imagine right.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- I'll...go there.- All right.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49I'll give you a shout on the way down.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Looks good, right?
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Looks really good.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58It was so good to make.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Pierce Brosnan went on to work with Nick after that.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Isn't he beautiful?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05He is. He smells of wealth.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- You know what I mean?- He's so well put together. But he's saucy!
0:21:08 > 0:21:14I know that thing. I once was behind Bruce Willis.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18- And...- You didn't smack him on the bum?
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Even the back of his neck looked rich.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24The other place we can see you at the moment is on Channel 4
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- in Hostages. - AUDIENCE MEMBER: Woo!
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- Some hostages.- There they are.
0:21:29 > 0:21:35It sounds like the plot of a movie, rather than a television series.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37It's a 15-part movie.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39It's a TV series. 15 episodes.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42I play a doctor, you just saw the coat.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46Playing a doctor... Do you...
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Obviously, you cannot become a doctor...
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Do you do research and prep for it?
0:21:52 > 0:21:55A little. It's not about being a doctor.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58It's about a family who are taken hostage in their own home,
0:21:58 > 0:22:01and I am a doctor and they're trying to persuade me to kill the President.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03I did have to perform surgery a few times.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06They were extras, it was fine!
0:22:09 > 0:22:11I think this is so sweet of you, Gary Oldman,
0:22:11 > 0:22:13when you played Dracula...
0:22:13 > 0:22:15You kind of think you can't prepare for that.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17But you did attempt to prepare for that.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Well, when I was pissed.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Someone had sent me...
0:22:23 > 0:22:29It was Francis Ford Coppola who'd sent me a coffin to the house.
0:22:29 > 0:22:34- Sweet dreams!- He said to me to just try it out, kind of thing.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38I do remember, one night, going out for dinner
0:22:38 > 0:22:43and everybody sort of ended up at my place.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47And at some point, I wanted them to leave.
0:22:47 > 0:22:53I had a little button on the side of the door, as you walked out,
0:22:53 > 0:22:56as you would go out to this sort of driveway.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58I would press it and the garage door would open.
0:22:58 > 0:23:04The light would come on. Instead of a Porsche underneath this light,
0:23:04 > 0:23:06it was a coffin.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10I remember these two girls, I never saw them again!
0:23:10 > 0:23:13It got rid of them.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16I am very impressed with you, Nick.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20Spaced, you wouldn't have thought it was that sort of project.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24You played a weapons expert and you did prepare.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26You went for it.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31In the second series, I had to strip an MP5 submachine gun blindfolded.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34They gave me one to take home.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38It couldn't fire anything, but it was amazing for a young man
0:23:38 > 0:23:41to have that in my house.
0:23:41 > 0:23:42It was hot.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45I lived downstairs.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47I opened the back door to my house.
0:23:47 > 0:23:52- I walked around the house, thinking I was Bruce Willis.- Rambo!
0:23:52 > 0:23:56I thought, let me have a go at this.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58I did it a couple of times and put the blindfold on.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I did it three or four times.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03The last time I did it,
0:24:03 > 0:24:07I took the blindfold off and I felt a presence in the room.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I looked to the left where the door was
0:24:10 > 0:24:15and there were six armed police pointing rifles and handguns at me.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18As soon as they saw me look at them,
0:24:18 > 0:24:23they literally streamed in like blue terror, screaming at me.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27"Don't f... move!"
0:24:27 > 0:24:30I literally took my hands off and just sat back.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33They tied me...
0:24:33 > 0:24:35They did the lot on me.
0:24:35 > 0:24:40A woman had seen the barrel of a gun sticking out of my bag
0:24:40 > 0:24:42when I got out of the car.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45She phoned the police. They blocked the road.
0:24:45 > 0:24:50They had a sniper looking to see who was in.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53As soon as they realised it was not what it seemed,
0:24:53 > 0:24:55everyone started to relax a bit.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Actors get away with anything. That is amazing.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00My voice went so high.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- I said... - HIGH PITCHED:- "I'm an actor."
0:25:03 > 0:25:05They were quite casual at the end.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Their parting shot was,
0:25:07 > 0:25:10"Well done, mate, a lot of people piss themselves."
0:25:11 > 0:25:13And they were off.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15It was amazing.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19APPLAUSE
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Toni, are your kids still young enough they can come with you on set?
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Mostly.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27My son is now beyond the point of yelling out "Mummy"
0:25:27 > 0:25:30every time he sees me on the monitor.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34But certainly on Hostages, no way, cos everyone has guns and balaclavas. A "no go" zone.
0:25:34 > 0:25:39Your kids, they are at this age where they are starting to ask
0:25:39 > 0:25:41more difficult questions?
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- Birth, death, stuff like that. - Really?
0:25:43 > 0:25:46How did I come to be? What happens when you die?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Tell me all the ways you can die.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52It is a big responsibility to answer those questions.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53Gary, proper parenting...
0:25:53 > 0:25:57Do you have a rule where you could not swear in front of your kids?
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Yeah...
0:25:59 > 0:26:03They're older now but I did have a swear jar.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07How much? Per word?
0:26:07 > 0:26:11It was a dollar.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15- How old is your child? - He is two and a half.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Can you still swear in front of a two-and-a-half-year-old?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Yeah, of course I can.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24He's not going to tell my mum, is he?
0:26:24 > 0:26:26No, we don't. It slips out sometimes.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28He's funny, because,
0:26:28 > 0:26:31if we're sitting at the table in the kitchen...
0:26:31 > 0:26:33We have an island and then the fridge beyond that,
0:26:33 > 0:26:36and sometimes he wanders off to get his own yoghurt.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39You see the fridge door opening and some fumbling going on.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Then you hear the yoghurts drop and just hear, "Oh, shit."
0:26:43 > 0:26:46So, you know... He's got that off his mum, I think.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50She's terrible for it.
0:26:50 > 0:26:54Obviously, you bring up kids, you all want to be cool parents.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Sadly, that title has been ripped from you,
0:26:57 > 0:27:00because some parents have been officially called
0:27:00 > 0:27:01the coolest parents in the world.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03They're taking over the internet.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05They're from New Zealand. They moved to Australia.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09Here's the bad thing. They were a little bored when they moved to Australia.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12They were in Sydney and they just had a baby...
0:27:12 > 0:27:15and a lot of packing cases.
0:27:15 > 0:27:20A lot of cardboard left over from the move.
0:27:20 > 0:27:21They came up with this idea...
0:27:21 > 0:27:23How much time and effort went into this?!
0:27:23 > 0:27:27They came up with this idea of Cardboard Box Office.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31So, they used, basically, the leftover packing cases
0:27:31 > 0:27:36and their baby to recreate iconic scenes from films.
0:27:36 > 0:27:41OK? It has become a thing. Here is the website. There we go.
0:27:41 > 0:27:46Leon is the man, Lily is the woman, and the baby is Orson.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48With popcorn on his head.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51They really are just using this baby as a prop.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55Frankly, I'm surprised they named it.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58This first film, what film is that?
0:27:58 > 0:28:00It's Alien.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Yes.
0:28:02 > 0:28:03I love that baby.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Look at the attention to detail!
0:28:08 > 0:28:10The cardboard, the wool blood. Very good.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12I've never seen Alien.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13What is up next?
0:28:13 > 0:28:16What movie is that? Do you recognise that?
0:28:16 > 0:28:18We've talked about that man.
0:28:18 > 0:28:19- It's Die Hard.- Oh, yes!
0:28:19 > 0:28:22That's Bruce Willis on the top.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25There's Bruce.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27That's Alan Rickman.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30Yes, Alan Rickman underneath.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Then they have done some classics.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35They have given us their Star Wars.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37My favourite is the Chewbacca.
0:28:37 > 0:28:40Look at the little Chewbacca.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Oh!
0:28:42 > 0:28:44And, one of your films.
0:28:44 > 0:28:49Little Orson is giving us The Dark Knight.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55That doesn't look safe to put a baby up there.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57We rang them and said,
0:28:57 > 0:29:01"Is it OK if we show the pictures on the show?"
0:29:01 > 0:29:03This is so sweet. They were very excited.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05For the first time,
0:29:05 > 0:29:09Cardboard Box Office has done a homage to a television show
0:29:09 > 0:29:12and they have actually done tonight's show.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14We told them who was on and they've done tonight's show
0:29:14 > 0:29:17and sent it to us. Feast your eyes on this!
0:29:17 > 0:29:19This is so impressive. Look at that.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23I look a bit confused.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27Let me talk you through it.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29I'm the baby...
0:29:29 > 0:29:32I've got a glass of milk.
0:29:32 > 0:29:33The set is amazing.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36The set is so good. They've even got the coffee table.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38- The coffee table is the same. - That is amazing.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Am I portrayed as a big dog?
0:29:40 > 0:29:43- No, no... There's...- What is it?
0:29:45 > 0:29:47- Is it a bear?- I think it's a bear.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49It's adorable.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53Anyway, well done, the coolest parents in the world. Very good.
0:29:57 > 0:29:59Now, Nick Frost...
0:29:59 > 0:30:01You have to talk now. He's feeling all weird.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04I just feel like I'm not ever going to get over
0:30:04 > 0:30:07what's happening right now. The robot and that...
0:30:07 > 0:30:11He's like, "I feel like I'm tripping."
0:30:11 > 0:30:14Now we're about to talk about your film, so you're on.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17This is your passion, I think we call it a passion project, don't we?
0:30:17 > 0:30:21- Yeah.- Well, it was your idea.- Yeah!
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Did you write it?
0:30:23 > 0:30:26No, I had the idea, and I wrote a Bible of the characters,
0:30:26 > 0:30:29and the idea, and we found a beautiful writer called
0:30:29 > 0:30:31John Brown and we handed it over.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34I believe I am correct that it is the first
0:30:34 > 0:30:37and best British salsa comedy.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40- It's really specific, isn't it? - It really is. It's niche.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42Cuban Fury.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45I've read reports, some say you have always loved dancing,
0:30:45 > 0:30:48some say you hated dancing.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50But you have danced in the past?
0:30:50 > 0:30:55Yeah... The truth is I really like to dance,
0:30:55 > 0:30:59but I do not like people watching me dance.
0:30:59 > 0:31:04That is the issue I have. And also an expectation that you would dance.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07If somebody wants me to dance...
0:31:07 > 0:31:11I would never dance, I would rather be dead than dance.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13So was this film a big ask, then?
0:31:13 > 0:31:19Yes, because essentially, I ruined my wedding by not wanting to dance
0:31:19 > 0:31:21with my wife when we did our first dance.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24Everybody gathered round and I bumbled out
0:31:24 > 0:31:28and put my hands on her shoulders, and we did this a bit...
0:31:28 > 0:31:33And then stopped, found some lint in my pocket and flicked it away.
0:31:33 > 0:31:38People then joined around us, and it was fine.
0:31:38 > 0:31:42The thing about a big lump dancing and enjoying it,
0:31:42 > 0:31:43and doing it well is,
0:31:43 > 0:31:46you get a really odd look off thinner people,
0:31:46 > 0:31:51and it is a look that you might give a child who has battled
0:31:51 > 0:31:55and defeated a childhood illness to go on and complete a half marathon.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59This is the look they give you...
0:32:00 > 0:32:02And I think, "No, no, no."
0:32:02 > 0:32:04It doesn't matter what you look like, if you are good
0:32:04 > 0:32:07and you feel it inside your heart
0:32:07 > 0:32:11then it does not matter what you look like. And it came from that.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13And in the movie, it is really you dancing,
0:32:13 > 0:32:16and you are a championship salsa dancer.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18Yes, I trained for seven hours a day
0:32:18 > 0:32:22for seven months before we shot any film at all.
0:32:22 > 0:32:26Whole point was that I wanted to dance
0:32:26 > 0:32:29and I wanted to be able to dance, and not just do the choreography,
0:32:29 > 0:32:34but to know how to dance and know what Latin culture was.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37They got some amazing people in from all over the world to teach me.
0:32:37 > 0:32:43Being a big Englishman, it's very difficult to open yourself up
0:32:43 > 0:32:49to Latin culture. And a lesson would be like, for example, a kid came
0:32:49 > 0:32:53in once, a 22-year-old from Havana, beautiful,
0:32:53 > 0:32:59weighed the same as one of my legs, came in...
0:32:59 > 0:33:03Richard, my choreographer, said, "He is going to be with you for
0:33:03 > 0:33:08"the next 45 minutes, enjoy yourself, he's a great dancer."
0:33:08 > 0:33:12He put some music on, he came over and stood in front of me,
0:33:12 > 0:33:15really close to me, and as an Englishman, it is...
0:33:19 > 0:33:21You don't know what's happening.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23He just stood in front of me
0:33:23 > 0:33:27and he took his fist and gently pounded my chest, and he did this...
0:33:27 > 0:33:31Boom-boom, chakka-da, boom, boom, doom, da cha!
0:33:31 > 0:33:35He did it for 40 minutes, then he put his vest on and he said,
0:33:35 > 0:33:38"If you don't feel this, don't bother."
0:33:38 > 0:33:41And he left. That was a lesson.
0:33:41 > 0:33:46So, they essentially smashed me to bits and build me back up.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48We are going to see you dancing, but I should warn people,
0:33:48 > 0:33:51this is a bit of the story, actually,
0:33:51 > 0:33:55we have not really told the story. So, you were a boy champion...
0:33:55 > 0:33:57- Yeah, let me do it.- Please do.
0:33:57 > 0:34:02A young man who was a champion salsa dancer, and at the age of 15
0:34:02 > 0:34:04he made the national finals,
0:34:04 > 0:34:06and on the eve of the finals, something terrible happened to him
0:34:06 > 0:34:09and he turned his back on the world of salsa.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11We then jump forward 25 years,
0:34:11 > 0:34:16and that young man with fire in his eyes has become a lump
0:34:16 > 0:34:19who can't be bothered, he hasn't got a girlfriend,
0:34:19 > 0:34:21he doesn't like his job.
0:34:21 > 0:34:26And then he meets this woman and she sparks something in him,
0:34:26 > 0:34:32and he decides to take it up and he decides to woo her using dance.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35- Let's have a look at the clip.- Yeah.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37SALSA MUSIC PLAYS
0:35:15 > 0:35:16Welcome back.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18- APPLAUSE - Thank you very much.- Very good.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24Opening on Valentine's Day as well, perfect. It's a date movie.
0:35:24 > 0:35:28Now, it is time for some music. I love this band, I really do.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31Performing Strong from their platinum selling debut album,
0:35:31 > 0:35:33it is London Grammar!
0:35:49 > 0:35:52# Excuse me for a while
0:35:52 > 0:35:54# While I'm wide-eyed
0:35:54 > 0:35:56# And I'm so down caught in the middle
0:36:01 > 0:36:04# I've excused you for a while
0:36:04 > 0:36:06# While I'm wide-eyed
0:36:06 > 0:36:09# And I'm so down caught in the middle
0:36:14 > 0:36:24# And if a lion, a lion, roars would you not listen?
0:36:26 > 0:36:36# If a child, a child, cries would you not forgive them?
0:36:38 > 0:36:41# Yeah, I might seem so strong
0:36:41 > 0:36:44# Yeah, I might speak so long
0:36:44 > 0:36:48# I've never been so wrong
0:36:50 > 0:36:53# And I might seem so strong
0:36:53 > 0:36:57# Yeah, I might speak so long
0:36:57 > 0:37:00# I've never been so wrong
0:37:03 > 0:37:06# Excuse me for a while
0:37:06 > 0:37:07# While I'm wide-eyed
0:37:07 > 0:37:10# And I'm so down caught in the middle
0:37:14 > 0:37:18# Have you wondered for a while
0:37:18 > 0:37:21# I have a feeling deep down?
0:37:21 > 0:37:24# You're caught in the middle
0:37:27 > 0:37:37# And if a lion, a lion, roars would you not listen?
0:37:39 > 0:37:50# If a child, a child, cries would you not forgive them?
0:37:51 > 0:37:55# Yeah, I might seem so strong
0:37:55 > 0:37:58# Yeah, I might speak so long
0:37:58 > 0:38:02# I've never been so wrong
0:38:04 > 0:38:07# Yeah, I might seem so strong
0:38:07 > 0:38:10# Yeah, I might speak so long
0:38:10 > 0:38:14# I've never been so wrong
0:38:17 > 0:38:21# Ooh. #
0:38:51 > 0:38:54APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:38:55 > 0:38:58Beautiful. London Grammar, everybody!
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Absolutely gorgeous. Come and join me.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02Hello, nice lady.
0:39:02 > 0:39:05Hello, come and sit down. Hello, come and sit down.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07There they go.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10Meet everybody! Shove up.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15There you go. Make room.
0:39:15 > 0:39:19There they are, London Grammar, and they are Hannah, Dot and Dan.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21- Am I right?- Yes.
0:39:21 > 0:39:25That song is off the album If You Wait which is out now.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27It's just beautiful.
0:39:27 > 0:39:31In my old head, it seems like you've arrived like that.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34I heard you on the radio, and then it was the EP, then the album.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37Does it feel kind of overnight,
0:39:37 > 0:39:39suddenly people know who you are?
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Not a lot of people know who we are,
0:39:41 > 0:39:44we can walk down the street and no-one knows who we are.
0:39:44 > 0:39:48Actually, this is a rather sad story, ladies and gentlemen,
0:39:48 > 0:39:54but even after gigs people come up to Hannah and Dot,
0:39:54 > 0:39:56but poor Dan...
0:39:57 > 0:40:00..even after seeing you play, they don't recognise you?
0:40:00 > 0:40:02I'm not that recognisable.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06I don't have the hair, and I'm pretty short, as well.
0:40:06 > 0:40:09- Prince is short. - Yeah, well, I'm not Prince!
0:40:09 > 0:40:10LAUGHTER
0:40:10 > 0:40:12Could we have a close-up of Dan?
0:40:14 > 0:40:17- Study that face. - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:40:17 > 0:40:19remember me.
0:40:19 > 0:40:20If you see him tomorrow...
0:40:20 > 0:40:23If you see him tomorrow out and about, about his business,
0:40:23 > 0:40:25say hello, he'll love it.
0:40:27 > 0:40:30Before we go tonight, just time for a story in the red chair,
0:40:30 > 0:40:31so who's there?
0:40:31 > 0:40:33- Hello!- Hello?- Hi!
0:40:33 > 0:40:35LAUGHTER
0:40:35 > 0:40:37It's not God, it's Graham Norton, hosting the show.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39LAUGHTER
0:40:39 > 0:40:42- What's your name, Sir? - My name is Darshan.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46- And where do you live, Darshan? - In Harrow.- Harrow!
0:40:46 > 0:40:47And what do you do in Harrow, Darshan?
0:40:47 > 0:40:49I'm a director of a cleaning company.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53He's a director of a cleaning company! Well done you, Darshan.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56Off you go with your story, Darshan.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58So this is when I was at my old workplace,
0:40:58 > 0:41:02I used to work in a bank before, and everyone's about to go home
0:41:02 > 0:41:04and I really needed to go for a wee.
0:41:04 > 0:41:08So I quickly ran up to the men's toilet, go in,
0:41:08 > 0:41:10did my business...
0:41:10 > 0:41:13And then washed my hands, I'm going to the door and the door's locked.
0:41:13 > 0:41:17Then I started panicking, cos my phone and everything was downstairs.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19Oh, no.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21I looked at my watch and it's obviously now time to go,
0:41:21 > 0:41:23so I'm assuming everyone's gone now.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25I'm locked in the toilet.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28(He's locked in the toilet!)
0:41:28 > 0:41:31Obviously I was stuck there, I was going to be there all night...
0:41:31 > 0:41:33We've established that, Darshan!
0:41:33 > 0:41:35LAUGHTER
0:41:35 > 0:41:38The next morning my manager comes in, obviously
0:41:38 > 0:41:41I've spent the whole night in the toilet sleeping, on a toilet roll.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43LAUGHTER
0:41:43 > 0:41:45That's not the worst part.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48He sent me home to go have a shower and then come back to work again.
0:41:48 > 0:41:49LAUGHTER
0:41:49 > 0:41:52Aw! I am going to do that, though.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:41:54 > 0:41:57Cos I thought something else was going to happen.
0:41:57 > 0:41:58But it turned out that, no,
0:41:58 > 0:42:01you were just locked in a toilet all night.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03- I mean, terrible thing to happen. - Yeah, it is.
0:42:03 > 0:42:05I can see why he left banking.
0:42:05 > 0:42:09It didn't treat him well, did it? Shall we have somebody else?
0:42:09 > 0:42:11- Hello, what's your name? - My name's Sarah.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14Sarah, very good, and where do you live, Sarah?
0:42:14 > 0:42:15I live in Godstone in Surrey.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Hurray!
0:42:18 > 0:42:21- No. And what do you do? - I'm a teacher.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25- And what subjects do you teach? - I teach little ones, primary school.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27- So you do all the subjects? - Yes.
0:42:27 > 0:42:28She is wise!
0:42:30 > 0:42:32Very wise. OK, off you go with your story.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36Well, I was on my way home from a very busy day at work,
0:42:36 > 0:42:39I was on the bus, and my bus stop was just coming,
0:42:39 > 0:42:44so I stood up, sidled past the ladies in front of me,
0:42:44 > 0:42:47got to the aisle and I realised there was something
0:42:47 > 0:42:49heavy on the front of my cardigan.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52My bus stop was coming up and to my horror I looked down
0:42:52 > 0:42:55and I saw a lady's wig hanging from my cardigan.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Good story!
0:42:57 > 0:43:01It was brown and it had a lovely purple bow on it,
0:43:01 > 0:43:04and I was yanking at it to get it off, my stop was coming,
0:43:04 > 0:43:06I couldn't get it off, she was screaming,
0:43:06 > 0:43:10the bust conductor was talking about scalping people in public,
0:43:10 > 0:43:12luckily I yanked it off, I threw it at her,
0:43:12 > 0:43:16said sorry and I made my stop.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19She can walk, that's a good story.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21- APPLAUSE - That's a good story, well done!
0:43:21 > 0:43:23If you'd like to join us on the show
0:43:23 > 0:43:25and have a go in the red chair, you can.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27Contact us via our website at this lovely address.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29Thank you to all my guests tonight,
0:43:29 > 0:43:32- London Grammar, ladies and gentlemen. - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:43:32 > 0:43:35- Mr Nick Frost! - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:43:35 > 0:43:38- Toni Collette! - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:43:38 > 0:43:41- And Gary Oldman! - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:43:41 > 0:43:44Join me next week with music from Paloma Faith
0:43:44 > 0:43:47and the stars of the new movie The Monuments Men,
0:43:47 > 0:43:49Hugh Bonneville, Jean Dujardin and Matt Damon.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52I'll see you then, good night, everyone, goodbye!
0:43:52 > 0:43:55APPLAUSE AND CHEERING