0:00:02 > 0:00:04Tonight, the star of Saving Private Ryan,
0:00:04 > 0:00:06where they tried to find Private Ryan.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08I wonder if I can find him in my audience.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10No, no, er...
0:00:10 > 0:00:12LAUGHTER
0:00:12 > 0:00:15No, I can't see him anywhere. Hey, let's start the show!
0:00:15 > 0:00:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:31 > 0:00:35- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Hey! Oh! Oh!
0:00:35 > 0:00:39How very lovely of you! How very kind!
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Hello, hi, hi, hi!
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Oh! Ladies and gentlemen,
0:00:44 > 0:00:46oh, you are in for a treat.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48What a star-studded line-up we have for you tonight.
0:00:48 > 0:00:53Hollywood superstar, Private Ryan himself, Matt Damon is on the show!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - I know!
0:00:55 > 0:00:57The Earl of Grantham,
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hugh Bonneville is here, ladies and gentlemen.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:01 > 0:01:07The absolutely brilliant Bill Murray is on our show tonight!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Yeah! I know!
0:01:11 > 0:01:16Plus we've got music from the marvellous Paloma Faith, everybody.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Not bad.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Not bad, eh, eh?
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Right, delighted to welcome Matt Damon to the show.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Of course his most famous series of films is the Bourne Trilogy.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31We all know them. There was Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremacy,
0:01:31 > 0:01:33and then, I think, Bourne Stupid.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35LAUGHTER
0:01:38 > 0:01:39That's just silly.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Matt recently starred with Scarlett Johansson
0:01:42 > 0:01:43in the drama We Bought A Zoo.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Now, I was less keen on the Danish remake,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48We Bought A Zoo And Shot The Giraffe.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51LAUGHTER
0:01:51 > 0:01:53What were they thinking?!
0:01:53 > 0:01:56A zoo in Denmark has killed a giraffe they didn't want.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Do you think the giraffe knew it was going to be shot? Do you?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03LAUGHTER
0:02:03 > 0:02:05"Nothing! Nothing!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07"Keep walking, nothing to see here."
0:02:08 > 0:02:10And then it gets worse.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12You know what they did? They fed it to the lions.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Hands up, is there anyone who thinks that's a good idea?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18LAUGHTER
0:02:18 > 0:02:19"I do!"
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Hey, a very warm welcome to the show
0:02:21 > 0:02:24to the brilliant Bill Murray, everyone! Oh! Bill Murray.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28It's so exciting, so exciting to have him here.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31I loved Bill in Groundhog Day,
0:02:31 > 0:02:35all about a man who lives the same day over and over again.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36What would that be like?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38LAUGHTER
0:02:40 > 0:02:42"And today, scum.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47"Fat scum in shell suits.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49"After the break, more scum."
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Hey! Hugh Bonneville is here,
0:02:53 > 0:02:58star of the international smash hit drama Downton Abbey. Oh, we love it.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Just look at him there, so dapper and smart.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Mind you, here he is before going into make-up...
0:03:04 > 0:03:06LAUGHTER
0:03:06 > 0:03:08No, that's Hugh as Mr Stink.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13He also - that's a thing - he also starred in the brilliant comedy
0:03:13 > 0:03:16all about the London Olympics, Twenty Twelve.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18He played bungling organiser Ian Fletcher.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21He made so many mistakes and he got away with it.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24Now, if someone at the Winter Olympics makes a mistake,
0:03:24 > 0:03:26I think they're less likely to get away with it.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29LAUGHTER
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- RUSSIAN ACCENT:- "Fifth snowflake did not turn into ring.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33"You're going to die.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36"I feed you to lion."
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Let's get some guests on!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Later we'll be chatting and having music from Paloma Faith!
0:03:41 > 0:03:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:43 > 0:03:46But first, Good Lord, it's Hugh Bonneville!
0:03:46 > 0:03:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:49 > 0:03:53Hello, sir. So nice to have you here. Come in, come in, sit down.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Thank you.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00You want a star guest, who are you going to call? It's Bill Murray!
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Wow! Hello, sir,
0:04:02 > 0:04:05so nice to see you, come in, come in.
0:04:05 > 0:04:10And I'm saving Private Ryan till last. It's Matt Damon, everybody!
0:04:10 > 0:04:11Wow!
0:04:11 > 0:04:16- Hello, sir.- How are you? - I'm really well. Sit down, sit down.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I know, it's good, right? It's a good one.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26They might just clap for 45 minutes. It's good.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29You're very, very welcome and you've all just come from
0:04:29 > 0:04:32- the premiere of your film, Monuments Men.- Yes.- Yeah.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- That's why we're drinking champagne. - To celebrate. Yes.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38In fact, now,
0:04:38 > 0:04:40why is yours not in a champagne glass, Hugh?
0:04:40 > 0:04:44Do you want people to think, "Oh, I'm just a man of the people.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45"Simple white wine for me?"
0:04:45 > 0:04:49- No, I just like drinking more than anyone else at one time.- Oh, right.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Let's get started. If we...
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Hey, hey, hey! Thank you.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Ready? Cheers.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Cheers. One, two, three.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:05 > 0:05:06Oh, he did? Wow.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Oh, oh!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- Wow.- Don't do this at home. Don't do this at home.- Oh, God!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Oh, that ginger ale is crazy.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26Now you should just ask us really personal questions.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30And, actually, now, cos there was a big crowd on Leicester Square,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33and I just want to ask Matt, it's so odd but people confuse you.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35They don't always know that you're Matt Damon.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39That's, yeah, no, I get confused with Mark Wahlberg all the time.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41LAUGHTER
0:05:43 > 0:05:46It literally happened, it happened last week.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50I was in New York and I was taking my kids to the park, and, uh,
0:05:50 > 0:05:54and this guy at the subway, I walked by him and he goes,
0:05:54 > 0:05:55"Mark Wahlberg!"
0:05:55 > 0:05:57And I kept walking, you know.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01We were... I was going to Washington Square Park, I'm on Broadway,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04and, uh, he's like, "I see you, Mark Wahlberg!"
0:06:05 > 0:06:09And he might have been a little drunk, uh, yeah...
0:06:09 > 0:06:12But it was one of those things where he wasn't going to let it go,
0:06:12 > 0:06:16and I'm holding two of my kids' hands, it's, you know...
0:06:16 > 0:06:20And he's just, you know, "Turn around, Mark, we all know it's you!"
0:06:20 > 0:06:23And I don't turn around cos I'm not Mark Wahlberg.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26But now everybody's looking,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29and so I turn the corner with the kids to get around the corner,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32and he comes running around the corner and he comes up to me
0:06:32 > 0:06:34and he goes, "Come on, turn around, you gotta turn around!"
0:06:34 > 0:06:37I turn around, and the kids are totally confused,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40and I go, "How are ya?" And he goes, "I'm good, man."
0:06:40 > 0:06:42And that's it, that's all he wanted.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45He wanted me to just acknowledge that I was Mark Wahlberg.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47And another woman comes running up and says,
0:06:47 > 0:06:51"I love your work and I love your brother's work as well."
0:06:51 > 0:06:53So I said, "I will be sure to tell Donnie Wahlberg."
0:06:55 > 0:06:57And that was the extent of my interaction.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59But it happens to him too, cos somebody posted this.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02"I screamed Matt Damon. He didn't correct us at all."
0:07:02 > 0:07:04LAUGHTER
0:07:04 > 0:07:09Mark and I talked about it years ago, cos it was happening to us
0:07:09 > 0:07:12all the time, and so we have a deal and the deal is just,
0:07:12 > 0:07:16if you're mistaken for the other guy, you have to be extremely polite.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18I can't ruin his name, so when I'm Mark Wahlberg,
0:07:18 > 0:07:19I have to be on my best behaviour.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23- Well, I promise not to confuse you with Mark Wahlberg tonight.- OK.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Unless you sit in my lap and play with my nipples.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:31 > 0:07:32And I'm smiling.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35And he'd had one of these at the beginning of the show as well?
0:07:35 > 0:07:39I'm not sure what happened before the beginning of the show.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43Actually, in terms of meeting fans, Hugh, you get confused as well,
0:07:43 > 0:07:46not with Mark Wahlberg, who do you get confused with?
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Well, in the old days when I had cheekbones it was Colin Firth.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53And then, er... There we are, you see.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57Then, latterly, Paul Burrell, the former butler.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:08:01 > 0:08:04I don't even know who that is and it's funny. Tell us who that is.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07It's funny, we don't know who the hell that is.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- You're lucky.- Who is he?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11He was, he was, what was he, Diana's butler or something?
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- He was the butler to...- Oh, the butler? Yeah, right, of course.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17And I was chased across Sloane Square once by a paparazzo
0:08:17 > 0:08:20who refused to believe that I wasn't him. "Come on, Paul!
0:08:20 > 0:08:24"Come on, just one!" Oh, you know, "You're my favourite butler!"
0:08:24 > 0:08:26LAUGHTER
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Now, Bill Murray, delightful to have you on,
0:08:28 > 0:08:30and am I, maybe this is wrong,
0:08:30 > 0:08:33I'm told you've never done a British talk show before.
0:08:33 > 0:08:38Well, I think I did one but the guy was actually Irish.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Oh...
0:08:39 > 0:08:41LAUGHTER
0:08:41 > 0:08:45So, so technically... I mean, there was people running after me
0:08:45 > 0:08:48the next day going, "Hey, Mark Wahlberg!
0:08:48 > 0:08:51"That guy you were on with was Irish!"
0:08:51 > 0:08:53But you said to me his name was,
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- AMERICAN ACCENT:- "Do you know a guy called Terry Wo-GAN?"
0:08:56 > 0:09:00- Mr Wo-GAN.- Yes, was there...? There's a man named Wogan.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01He's still going.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- COCKNEY ACCENT:- OK, well, I was on the Wogan show.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06For like a week, people were like,
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- COCKNEY ACCENT: - "I saw you on the Wogan show."
0:09:08 > 0:09:10LAUGHTER
0:09:10 > 0:09:15- I did, but he was a nice fella. That's the guy that's Irish?- Yeah.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17THE guy!
0:09:17 > 0:09:19I should probably point out I'm Irish too.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23- What?- I'm Irish as well. - You are?- Yeah.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH
0:09:26 > 0:09:29I know you are, I think you play golf there all the time, yeah.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34You know, it's people like us that are turning this country around.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36LAUGHTER
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Now, gentlemen, we're here to celebrate your movie,
0:09:38 > 0:09:39The Monuments Men.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43It opens tonight, which, as you know, is Valentine's Night.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- WHOOPS FROM AUDIENCE - I know.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50You do sort of think, if you're at home watching this show live, sorry.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54That didn't really work out the way you'd hoped, did it?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I mean, it's a great show but you'd hoped for more, didn't you?
0:09:56 > 0:09:59You'd hoped for more. But now, the story of Monuments Men,
0:09:59 > 0:10:02it's inspired by a true story from the Second World War,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05and it's - I mean, not only is it an extraordinary story
0:10:05 > 0:10:09but it's sort of amazing that no-one has told this story before.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10I mean, it was amazing.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14I'd never heard it and I had never heard about these guys and
0:10:14 > 0:10:17I was shocked that this... It's such an incredible story that
0:10:17 > 0:10:19I was surprised that I hadn't heard it,
0:10:19 > 0:10:23and it's these guys who were, you know, our age,
0:10:23 > 0:10:27middle-aged guys who, erm, during the Second World War dropped everything.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29LAUGHTER
0:10:32 > 0:10:34- Roughly.- He's still chasing that Colin Firth dream.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37LAUGHTER
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Listen, the number of times I came up to him on set and told him
0:10:39 > 0:10:41how much I loved The King's Speech.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43LAUGHTER
0:10:43 > 0:10:44It's true.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47But, so there were these guys who had established careers,
0:10:47 > 0:10:51they were curators, they were professors and art experts.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54And they were well past their soldiering prime,
0:10:54 > 0:10:57and they dropped everything and went to, er...
0:10:57 > 0:11:00You've picked up the glass. LAUGHTER
0:11:00 > 0:11:02- He's only having a sip. - Lord Grantham has...
0:11:03 > 0:11:05It's a great story, keep talking.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07LAUGHTER
0:11:08 > 0:11:11This is the only way I'm going to get out of here sober.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15- I'm going to answer every question. - Answer every question.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19Er, but so these guys, erm, at great risk to themselves,
0:11:19 > 0:11:24they basically believed, you know, all of them believed that, er,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26the artwork that, you know...
0:11:26 > 0:11:28The bombarding that the Allies were doing
0:11:28 > 0:11:31and the things that might get destroyed were worth protecting,
0:11:31 > 0:11:36and that the art that the Nazis had stolen was worth, you know,
0:11:36 > 0:11:39their own lives to try to go and retrieve.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40And they, some of them died doing this,
0:11:40 > 0:11:44trying to protect the artwork because they felt that it had
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- that much value to our culture and to our civilisation.- And to the world.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Well, we've got a little clip.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53- It's George Clooney, who plays the head Monument Man.- Of course.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56And he's... Of course he's the head one.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Well, he wrote it and directed it, what's he going to do(?)
0:11:58 > 0:12:01LAUGHTER He wasn't going to play my part!
0:12:02 > 0:12:05That stupid part, yeah.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08This is the clip where he's recruiting you
0:12:08 > 0:12:09to be one of the Monuments Men.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11How's the ticker?
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Still ticking.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14Want to get in the War?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- Monuments Men?- Signed by Roosevelt. - Oh, I see that.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I'm to put a team together and try to protect what's left
0:12:24 > 0:12:26and find what's missing.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28- Aren't you a little old for that? - Yes.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33You want to go into a war zone and tell our boys what they can
0:12:33 > 0:12:38- and cannot blow up?- That's the idea. - OK, how many men?- For now, six.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42- Jesus.- With you, that's seven. - That's much better(!)
0:12:42 > 0:12:46- We're to go through basic in England and then we wait for orders.- Basic?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49- Mm-hm.- Basic training? Us?
0:12:49 > 0:12:52HE CHUCKLES
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Oh, boy.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55APPLAUSE
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Beautiful, and, er,
0:12:57 > 0:13:00is that you at the end, in the hat with the wine?
0:13:00 > 0:13:01- Was that you?- What, the waiter?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- No, were you in the bar with the red wine? Was that you?- No, no, no.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08- No, no, I drop in later, I think. - OK. And you are in it, I've seen it.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- I think so, yes.- You're very good in it.- Thank you so much.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Not quite as good as he was in The King's Speech.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15LAUGHTER
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Now, it is... It's a great film, huge Hollywood cast,
0:13:18 > 0:13:22and, Bill, lovely to see you in a film, but how does it happen?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Cos is it true you don't have an agent or a manager or anything?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I don't have a magent or an agent...
0:13:28 > 0:13:30LAUGHTER
0:13:30 > 0:13:32APPLAUSE
0:13:38 > 0:13:40- Oh, man.- I have neither.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41LAUGHTER
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Whoa!
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- You're competitive, Matt Damon.- It's a problem.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51I hear Mark Wahlberg has that too.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Don't play catch-up. So, Bill, how do people contact you?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Well, actually, George, uh, George, to,
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- George, to reach me... - LAUGHTER
0:14:01 > 0:14:03George reached me through a mutual friend of ours
0:14:03 > 0:14:06who basically said, wanted to know, "Are you busy?"
0:14:06 > 0:14:09But George had told me the story of the movie about a year before,
0:14:09 > 0:14:11eating lunch, and I thought,
0:14:11 > 0:14:13"Yeah, go on, tell me, yeah, go ahead."
0:14:13 > 0:14:15"Now you just say you want to do it."
0:14:15 > 0:14:17And he didn't say anything,
0:14:17 > 0:14:19and then about nine months later I get this message through
0:14:19 > 0:14:22my friend saying, "Uh, George wants to know if you're busy."
0:14:23 > 0:14:25And that was the job. It's a great story,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28it's an amazing story and I just said, "OK."
0:14:28 > 0:14:32And you'd met George Clooney originally in Venice, was it?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- Yes.- OK.- Yes.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36LAUGHTER
0:14:36 > 0:14:40We met in Venice. It was, uh... He had a movie in Venice,
0:14:40 > 0:14:42I don't even remember, but...
0:14:44 > 0:14:45I don't remember much.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47LAUGHTER
0:14:47 > 0:14:50But it was the night we had Lost In Translation open in Venice
0:14:50 > 0:14:52and it was a big deal.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54So there's one night, and all the Hollywood guys,
0:14:54 > 0:14:56they're all really stiffs, most of 'em.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00But one night of the year, they end up on this one island in Venice,
0:15:00 > 0:15:01they end up in Venice...
0:15:01 > 0:15:04And they all drink a whole lot, for some apparent reason.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Not George, but these other show business guys.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- So a whole kind of...- Not George?
0:15:08 > 0:15:12No, George drinks all the time, that's what I mean.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15George drinks regularly and consistently, but, erm...
0:15:15 > 0:15:18So, I don't know, I met George that night and we kind of hit it off.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21And then I went back to America and my son said to me,
0:15:21 > 0:15:23"What's this about you and George Clooney
0:15:23 > 0:15:26"pushing people around in wheelchairs in Venice?"
0:15:26 > 0:15:28And I said, "You know, you're my son.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31"I would have expected more from you.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33"You know, to believe that kind of a story.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36"You know, I mean, why would you ever think
0:15:36 > 0:15:39"that something like that actually happened?"
0:15:39 > 0:15:41And he said, "Because there are pictures."
0:15:41 > 0:15:44LAUGHTER
0:15:47 > 0:15:50You know, this is the age we live in, so...
0:15:50 > 0:15:52But, erm... So it turned out that George and I were, like,
0:15:52 > 0:15:54taking women around in wheelchairs,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57and trying to dump them into the swimming pool.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58LAUGHTER AND GASPS
0:15:58 > 0:16:01No, no, they... No-one died, no-one died.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06It was a joke, it was a joke, they just got a rinse.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08LAUGHTER
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Tonight, at the premiere,
0:16:14 > 0:16:19there were some relatives of the old Monuments Men's family,
0:16:19 > 0:16:22and a lady in a wheelchair came for a photograph with everyone.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24And she was there, probably in her 90s,
0:16:24 > 0:16:26and you sat on her knee.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28LAUGHTER
0:16:28 > 0:16:29She was 97.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- She was 97.- I only...
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- She was 97.- What do you expect?
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I asked Mark to do it first and he wouldn't do it.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40He wouldn't do it, and I went and I sat on her lap.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43No, it's - I find, if you look at someone like that, you see
0:16:43 > 0:16:48the wheelchair, when you see someone on their lap, you see a party girl.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50LAUGHTER
0:16:51 > 0:16:54BOTH: A 97-year-old party girl.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56And she loved every second.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:59 > 0:17:03But, wait a minute, I'll give you a story from a few days ago.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06We're in Berlin, we land in Berlin for the film festival,
0:17:06 > 0:17:08and the film festival's going to be the next day.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11We have press all day, starting in the morning.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14And it's five o'clock and my wife and I are getting
0:17:14 > 0:17:18a bite to eat in our hotel, you know, in the restaurant.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21And Bill walks up, and we're getting a snack, cos we're all meeting for
0:17:21 > 0:17:23dinner at eight, the whole cast is meeting for dinner.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26And Bill walks up and he goes, "Hey."
0:17:26 > 0:17:28And I go, "Hey." And he goes,
0:17:28 > 0:17:30"I might miss dinner tonight."
0:17:30 > 0:17:33And I go, "Oh, really, why? "Are you not feeling well, are you jetlagged?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35"Like, what is it?" And he goes,
0:17:35 > 0:17:37"Nah, I'm going to go to Prague."
0:17:37 > 0:17:40LAUGHTER
0:17:40 > 0:17:43"You're going to go to Prague?" And he goes,
0:17:43 > 0:17:47"Yeah, I'm going to take the train." I'm like, "The train?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49"We're in Berlin. Like, how far is that?
0:17:49 > 0:17:52"I lived in Prague for a while, I've never done that."
0:17:52 > 0:17:55And he goes, "It's, like, five hours."
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I'm like, "It's five o'clock now."
0:17:57 > 0:17:59And he goes, "Yeah, train leaves in an hour."
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Bearing in mind we had press at, like, 9:00am the next morning.
0:18:02 > 0:18:059:00am the next morning. "So you're going to take a train to Prague,
0:18:05 > 0:18:08"you're going to get there around 11:00 or around midnight?"
0:18:08 > 0:18:10And he goes, "Yeah, but I've never been there."
0:18:11 > 0:18:14It's pretty, it's a really pretty town.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15- Did you go?- Oh, of course.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16You did it?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19APPLAUSE
0:18:24 > 0:18:27And he was bang on time for press the next morning.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31The best is I get a walking tour of Prague, and they have this
0:18:31 > 0:18:35extraordinary astronomical clock there that's a mechanical clock
0:18:35 > 0:18:39that has roosters that crow and a skeleton that rings the bell.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42And, you know, I go through a whole process with a lady from the embassy
0:18:42 > 0:18:45who couldn't have been nicer, to walk me around town,
0:18:45 > 0:18:49and the clock rings but it only rings once.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51It's one o'clock in the morning, you know.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53"Bang!"
0:18:53 > 0:18:55LAUGHTER
0:18:57 > 0:18:59"OK, let's get a taxi."
0:18:59 > 0:19:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Now, Hugh Bon... You don't mind me calling you Hugh Bon?
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- It's catching on now. - Hugh Bon?- Hugh Bon.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15You're like the J-Lo of England.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- There's like R-Patz and then there's Hugh Bon.- What about H-Bon?
0:19:22 > 0:19:25But, now, did you know George Clooney before this?
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Oh, we go back years! No.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30No, he talks about having a long lunch and not getting the job offer
0:19:30 > 0:19:32at the end of it - you know, there was a five-second phone call
0:19:32 > 0:19:34from my agent saying, "George Clooney wants..."
0:19:34 > 0:19:35And I said yes.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40So, yeah. And then, erm... In fact,
0:19:40 > 0:19:43I haven't actually fessed up that the offer, these things come through
0:19:43 > 0:19:47from your agent saying - very dry letters saying -
0:19:47 > 0:19:51"Dear Hugh, for your attention, this project, produced by so-and-so..."
0:19:51 > 0:19:5428 million names of who are the producers and then starring,
0:19:54 > 0:19:58and, you know, Bill and Matt and everyone else.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02And then at the bottom, another name, for my part,
0:20:02 > 0:20:04which they'd failed to wipe out, so, you know...
0:20:04 > 0:20:06LAUGHTER
0:20:06 > 0:20:10These things happen. And, er, I was thrilled.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- Who was it? - I'm not going to tell you.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Oh, give us a clue.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18- Oh, erm...- Was it an English person? - It was, actually, yeah.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20- It's Victoria Beckham.- Exactly.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24You told him! You said you wouldn't...! Shh!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26She would have been brilliant.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28LAUGHTER
0:20:29 > 0:20:32But is it all kind of down to the Downton thing?
0:20:32 > 0:20:33Was George a fan of Downton?
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Completely. - Because, in 220 territories...
0:20:35 > 0:20:37I didn't know there were 220 territories.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40No, what does that mean? Territories is different to nations, obviously.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Yes, they must be. I don't think there are 220 countries.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- But territories.- How many countries are there?- Somebody Google it.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Now, did you guys watch Downton? Did you know what Downton was?
0:20:48 > 0:20:51I'm starting to think Texas is its own territory, they're like,
0:20:51 > 0:20:53TEXAN DRAWL: "We're a territory.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56"We're gon' shoot you if you come down here."
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- Sorry.- Did you watch Downton before?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01No, my wife is an addict,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03and by addict I mean like a crack addict.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07And it's like a problem.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09We were supposed to start the show together,
0:21:09 > 0:21:12and I came to bed one night and she said,
0:21:12 > 0:21:13"I've just watched six of them."
0:21:13 > 0:21:15LAUGHTER
0:21:15 > 0:21:18And she was like, "I'll tell you..." BILL GIGGLES
0:21:18 > 0:21:21"I'll tell you what happened."
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Because she wanted to see the seventh
0:21:24 > 0:21:27and she didn't want to go back to the first.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31You know. And so she's done the whole thing and I'm on my own, so...
0:21:31 > 0:21:34I will watch Downton Abbey because I love Hugh, but I'm going to
0:21:34 > 0:21:38have to find the time somehow to do that raising four kids.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Have you ever seen it, Bill?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Downton Abbey?- No.- OK.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44I never have, but I'm just slow.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47I have a lot of, like... I'm really slow cleaning up my room
0:21:47 > 0:21:50and getting dressed and everything. So I miss these shows.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52But I really look forward to getting,
0:21:52 > 0:21:55like, a serious flu or something like that.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I'll get the entire set and watch the whole thing
0:21:58 > 0:22:02because he seems like the greatest guy.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- He seems like a great guy. - It's a very good show.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07It's one of those weird things, it's too convincing.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Like, I'm sort of on the fringes of this industry,
0:22:10 > 0:22:11I meet actors on the show.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15But when I see the Downton cast on a red carpet,
0:22:15 > 0:22:18and it's the servants, I always think, "Oh, isn't that lovely!"
0:22:22 > 0:22:26Look at that! Look, it's Mrs Patmore! She borrowed a dress!
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Did they give them the morning off?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Or is he there going, "Where's my kedgeree?!"
0:22:33 > 0:22:35You have a love/hate thing, don't you, with it?
0:22:35 > 0:22:38No, I love it in that I watch it all the time,
0:22:38 > 0:22:40but a bit like a relationship with crack, I hate it too.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Well, you know it's killing you. So...
0:22:44 > 0:22:47May I ask you, is he, like, the grand master?
0:22:47 > 0:22:48He's the Lord of the Lord.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51But what you need to know, Bill, is Lord Grantham,
0:22:51 > 0:22:54and I think this is fair, is always wrong.
0:22:56 > 0:23:01- Well, there you go. There you go right there.- Yeah.- That's...
0:23:01 > 0:23:03He is, though, isn't he? You must get annoyed.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Put it this way. When your name
0:23:04 > 0:23:07comes out of a dog's arse in the titles, you know...
0:23:08 > 0:23:11You know you're in for a bad ride.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15No, because Lady Sybil... You killed her. Blood on your hands.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- No, people say that!- You killed someone in the show?- No, I didn't!
0:23:18 > 0:23:22- Yes, he did.- Time out, time out. - Murderer!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Dr Clarkson, OK? Up to then, who we...
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Don't tell me, I haven't seen the show!
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- Up to that point...- He killed somebody but I don't want to know!
0:23:38 > 0:23:40I don't want to know!
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Up to that point, we called him Dr Death on set
0:23:42 > 0:23:44because every decision he makes was terrible.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47So there is some sense in my character calling in
0:23:47 > 0:23:48some outside advice.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51It happens to be possibly the wrong one,
0:23:51 > 0:23:54and, you know, she wants out of her contract, so she dies.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56Wow.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59If you're watching in one of the 220 territories
0:23:59 > 0:24:02that hasn't got to that point in the story yet...
0:24:02 > 0:24:03hey, maybe she gets better.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08I wouldn't join the Matthew Crawley fan club either.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12I wouldn't invest in that.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14I'm going for a pee, excuse me.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18- Are you really going for a pee? - I am. Close-ups on them.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26- Tiny bladder. - They just say that over here.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30Bladder...bladder like a pea. Yeah.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33You know, with all respect, we have commercials in America,
0:24:33 > 0:24:35you can go and do this in the middle.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38We just keep going. BBC, bladders of steel.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Quickly, I just want to ask you, Lost In Translation,
0:24:43 > 0:24:45when you were making that film,
0:24:45 > 0:24:48I read that you had a particular phrasebook in Japan. Is this true?
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- That's true.- Where did you even get that phrasebook?
0:24:51 > 0:24:52I don't know where I found it.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55I sort of went hunting, looking for something
0:24:55 > 0:24:58and it's something that I'd purchased years before,
0:24:58 > 0:24:59before I made the film,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02and it's a book called Making Out In Japanese.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07- So, what are some of the phrases in the book?- Well, it's pretty great.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11I used to take this book with me to dinner.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I used to take this to the sushi bar
0:25:13 > 0:25:15and sit down in front of the sushi chef and say...
0:25:16 > 0:25:18"Can we get into the back seat?"
0:25:22 > 0:25:24"Do you have a curfew?"
0:25:27 > 0:25:30"Do you mind if I use protection?"
0:25:33 > 0:25:37These guys all had big knives, big, big knives. Sharp knives.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39And they all liked it very much.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41I had a lot of fun with that book,
0:25:41 > 0:25:45and I... It would just... It made my life so much fun.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48I still have the book, it's a treasure to me.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51It's in my, you know, first editions.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Yes, it's under glass!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55I learned some great expressions.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59I learned one expression which turns out to be the final thing you say
0:25:59 > 0:26:02before you kill or fight in Japan, which is...
0:26:03 > 0:26:06"Who do you think you're talking to?"
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Which is like a real status kind of thing you do.
0:26:09 > 0:26:14And you say... "Dare ni mukatte mono ittenda yo?"
0:26:14 > 0:26:18And you say it like that, and it's totally terrifying.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20And we used to get dressed up...
0:26:20 > 0:26:23On Sofia's movie, we'd move around and you'd have a make-up...
0:26:23 > 0:26:26We'd rent, like, a small hotel room and that would be the make-up
0:26:26 > 0:26:30and hairdressing and all the stuff. And the wardrobe and everything.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32One morning, I got my first iPod...
0:26:32 > 0:26:35- This is a long story, you got a lot of time.- Yeah!
0:26:35 > 0:26:38I got my first iPod, and I was singing, like, the Beatles.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39I was singing something, like,
0:26:39 > 0:26:43"Let it be!" Something like that, really loud, full volume,
0:26:43 > 0:26:44but it's 5:30 in the morning.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47And some guy steps out of his hotel room in his robe
0:26:47 > 0:26:50and he comes down and he starts shouting at me.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52And I had the headphones on, and I just looked at him
0:26:52 > 0:26:56and I said, "Dare ni mukatte mono ittenda yo?"
0:26:57 > 0:27:00And this giant man just went completely white.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Because it's a Yakuza thing which means, "Now you're going to die."
0:27:05 > 0:27:08And the guy ran down the hall, slammed the door,
0:27:08 > 0:27:09and locked the door.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14So, you know.
0:27:14 > 0:27:15APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:27:18 > 0:27:19I know, I know.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23I know, but I said only I was allowed to wear sort of deep red.
0:27:24 > 0:27:29I know, well... Well, you're sacked, I'm sorry. I'm back now.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Beautifully done. Nicely done. Seamless, no-one will notice.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Incidentally, thanks for sending the memo to everybody but me.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38- Well, yeah, that is odd, isn't it? - Yeah, it's weird.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42I've never seen this colour and now I see it on three men at once.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49It's just have a go at Matt night. That's fantastic, thanks.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53From the sublime to the ridiculous, because Hugh Bonneville...
0:27:53 > 0:27:57- That would be Hugh Bonneville!- No, no! Hugh Bonneville is a lovely man!
0:27:57 > 0:27:58Hugh Bonneville's a lovely man.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01But I just want to refer back to a television appearance
0:28:01 > 0:28:03that Hugh Bonneville made a couple of weeks ago.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06- He was on a programme called Top Gear.- Oh, I love that show.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10- You were on Top Gear?- Driving. - That's the greatest show.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12- Do you have a clip from Top Gear? - We don't have a clip,
0:28:12 > 0:28:14but we do have a bizarre...
0:28:14 > 0:28:16His appearance caused quite the reaction.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18Here he is on Top Gear.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Now, a lot of people were focused on the jumper.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25A lot of people were focused on the jumper,
0:28:25 > 0:28:28but even more people were concerned with, why...?
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Why were you wearing lipstick on Top Gear?!
0:28:39 > 0:28:43- Oh, my word!- We haven't doctored, we haven't doctored the picture.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45- That...- I haven't got my glasses on, I can't see it.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49Trust me, you're wearing lipstick. There we go.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52I am not wearing lipstick! I've never worn lipstick in my life!
0:28:52 > 0:28:57- It looks, it does look like lipstick.- That was a very cold day.
0:28:59 > 0:29:03Well, I'm intrigued. I'm here to say that I was not wearing lipstick.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05It was flipping cold, because on Top Gear,
0:29:05 > 0:29:06they say bring two sets of clothes.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08You're going to be boiling hot in the car,
0:29:08 > 0:29:11and you're going to be freezing cold in the studio.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14I thought, boiling hot in the car? It's a cold day in wherever we are,
0:29:14 > 0:29:16February, it's not going to be like that at all.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19I was roasting, because you're exerting so much adrenaline
0:29:19 > 0:29:21and sweat, because you're in a, well...
0:29:21 > 0:29:25Just right now, your lips are turning a different colour!
0:29:25 > 0:29:28That's because of you, Bill! That's because of you!
0:29:28 > 0:29:29And then you're in the studio,
0:29:29 > 0:29:32this aircraft hangar where apparently last summer,
0:29:32 > 0:29:35it's either incredibly hot or it's freezing this time of year.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37And last year, when Patrick Stewart was on...
0:29:37 > 0:29:39My lips are going red, aren't they?
0:29:43 > 0:29:46They do! They just go red on TV! That's really weird!
0:29:47 > 0:29:49When Patrick Stewart...
0:29:51 > 0:29:52I am this table!
0:29:53 > 0:29:56It's an odd look for a man but you carry it off.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58Yeah! So, last year...
0:30:00 > 0:30:03I'm like whatshername's pout the other week.
0:30:03 > 0:30:07So last year, apparently about four or five people -
0:30:07 > 0:30:09stop giggling - four or five people fainted
0:30:09 > 0:30:12while Patrick Stewart was doing his thing because it was so hot.
0:30:12 > 0:30:16And I thought it would be chilly so I'd have my favourite woolly jumper.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18But not my red lippy, which I left at home.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24He just said, my lips, my favourite woolly jumper! Come on!
0:30:24 > 0:30:27How many women here are going to faint just hearing him say,
0:30:27 > 0:30:29"My favourite woolly jumper?"
0:30:31 > 0:30:33All right, how many men are going to faint?
0:30:33 > 0:30:37- No!- My favourite woolly jumper and my lippy. What the hell, lippy?!
0:30:37 > 0:30:41- Lippy. What does that mean in America?- I don't know!
0:30:52 > 0:30:54Oh, dear!
0:30:57 > 0:30:58Ladies and gentlemen,
0:30:58 > 0:31:02we must also wish Matt Damon all the best for Sunday.
0:31:02 > 0:31:04- Bafta, you're nominated.- Oh, yes. Thank you.
0:31:06 > 0:31:10So good, it's for Behind The Candelabra, the Liberace film.
0:31:10 > 0:31:14Which got a cinema release here which is why you're nominated.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18- It's so, so good, that film. - Thank you.- It's just brilliant.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21I think the key to my performance was I borrowed Hugh's lippy.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27It gets around.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32But the... Because that movie is so out there.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Did you and Michael Douglas say yes thinking, "It'll never get made?
0:31:35 > 0:31:41- "We'll never really have to do this."- No, no. We...
0:31:41 > 0:31:44Actually, we felt a big, uh...
0:31:45 > 0:31:47..uh, sense of responsibility.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50Keep talking! Don't pause there!
0:31:50 > 0:31:54There was that night when you were going over the script
0:31:54 > 0:31:56in your woolly jumper.
0:32:02 > 0:32:03It's my favourite woolly jumper!
0:32:06 > 0:32:07What am I meant to say, sweater?
0:32:09 > 0:32:13I actually asked to wear a woolly jumper in every scene!
0:32:16 > 0:32:19"Is this the scene where I take off my woolly jumper?"
0:32:20 > 0:32:24"So, in this scene in the hot tub, am I going to be in my woolly jumper?"
0:32:26 > 0:32:28Have many guests walked off this show?
0:32:30 > 0:32:33- You already did, to go to the bathroom!- Yeah.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35They're going to keep that in, you know.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39- Well, listen, good luck on Sunday. - Mark Wahlberg, ladies and gentlemen.
0:32:39 > 0:32:40Thank you! Yeah!
0:32:42 > 0:32:45Hey, um... Matt, Bill, Hugh, lovely to talk to, thank you so much
0:32:45 > 0:32:48for being here tonight. Good luck with The Monuments Men.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50I loved it, and it opens tonight.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52We've just got another taste,
0:32:52 > 0:32:54and this is all of you getting into training.
0:32:54 > 0:32:58We have your architect from Chicago, Sergeant Richard Campbell.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01And we have a Frenchman, Lieutenant Jean Claude Clermont.
0:33:01 > 0:33:04Director of Design at the Chalet School of Fine Arts before the war.
0:33:06 > 0:33:07Is Preston here?
0:33:07 > 0:33:09Private Preston Savitz.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12- Private? That's not going to sit very well with him.- It doesn't.
0:33:13 > 0:33:17And finally, we have your sculptor, Sergeant Walter Garfield.
0:33:17 > 0:33:18He's a good egg -
0:33:18 > 0:33:20I worked with him on the World War I memorial in St Louis.
0:33:20 > 0:33:21A-ha. St Louis.
0:33:21 > 0:33:22Hey, Stokes!
0:33:25 > 0:33:26How are you, old boy?
0:33:26 > 0:33:29Hey, Walter - how they treating you?
0:33:29 > 0:33:31They're taking it pretty easy on us.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33I think they feel sorry for us old guys.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35I don't much fancy an obstacle course.
0:33:35 > 0:33:36It's not so bad.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38By the end, you're just crawling on your belly
0:33:38 > 0:33:40while teenagers shoot blanks over your head.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43- Well, yes and no.- How's that?
0:33:43 > 0:33:44Yes, they are teenagers.
0:33:44 > 0:33:45And no?
0:33:45 > 0:33:46They're not blanks.
0:33:46 > 0:33:50LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Right! It's time for music.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56This lady is not just one of my favourite pop stars,
0:33:56 > 0:33:58she's also one of my favourite people.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00Singing her new single, Can't Rely On You,
0:34:00 > 0:34:03please welcome the unique Paloma Faith, everybody!
0:34:03 > 0:34:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:09 > 0:34:11Hey!
0:34:12 > 0:34:13Whoo!
0:34:14 > 0:34:15Come on, get it!
0:34:17 > 0:34:18Let me tell you a little something
0:34:18 > 0:34:22about how my man ain't behaving myself recently.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24Whoo!
0:34:24 > 0:34:25# Help me
0:34:25 > 0:34:27# How are you gon' do love this way?
0:34:29 > 0:34:33# I work so hard for you every day
0:34:33 > 0:34:35# While you're out
0:34:35 > 0:34:37# Late night, doing what you do
0:34:37 > 0:34:39# Chillin' with who?
0:34:39 > 0:34:40# While I'm sitting at home
0:34:40 > 0:34:42# Come on, get it... #
0:34:46 > 0:34:48I don't know what this world is coming to!
0:34:48 > 0:34:49Whoa!
0:34:49 > 0:34:51# I just can't rely on you
0:34:51 > 0:34:53# Just can't rely on you
0:34:53 > 0:34:55# Just can't rely on you
0:34:55 > 0:34:57# Just can't rely on you
0:34:57 > 0:34:59# Yeah, you got that good stuff
0:34:59 > 0:35:01# But that don't last
0:35:01 > 0:35:03# So I just can't rely on you
0:35:03 > 0:35:05# Just can't rely on you
0:35:05 > 0:35:07# Oh, Lord
0:35:07 > 0:35:10# How am I ever to explain
0:35:10 > 0:35:14# How my melting pot went right down the drain?
0:35:14 > 0:35:16- # Cos if you don't want me - Release
0:35:16 > 0:35:17- # Beep, beep - Beep, beep
0:35:17 > 0:35:18- # Want some? - Want some?
0:35:18 > 0:35:20# Take me
0:35:20 > 0:35:22# He will take me right out your way... #
0:35:22 > 0:35:24Come on with it!
0:35:27 > 0:35:30I don't know what this world is coming to!
0:35:30 > 0:35:31Whoa!
0:35:31 > 0:35:32# I just can't rely on you
0:35:32 > 0:35:35# Just can't rely on you
0:35:35 > 0:35:37# Just can't rely on you
0:35:37 > 0:35:39# Just can't rely on you
0:35:39 > 0:35:42# Yeah, you got that good stuff but that don't last
0:35:42 > 0:35:43# Don't last
0:35:43 > 0:35:45# So I just can't rely on you
0:35:45 > 0:35:47# I just can't rely on you
0:35:48 > 0:35:50- # I want to go - I've heard that before
0:35:50 > 0:35:52- # Really? - Really
0:35:52 > 0:35:55# You can say what you want
0:35:56 > 0:35:58# But I'm out that door
0:35:58 > 0:36:00# Can't stop me
0:36:00 > 0:36:02# Whoo-ooh-ee
0:36:02 > 0:36:04# Oh, my man
0:36:04 > 0:36:05# Oh, Lord... #
0:36:09 > 0:36:11I don't know what this world is coming to!
0:36:11 > 0:36:12Whoa!
0:36:12 > 0:36:14# I just can't rely on you
0:36:14 > 0:36:16# I just can't rely on you
0:36:16 > 0:36:18# Just can't rely on you
0:36:18 > 0:36:20# Just can't rely on you
0:36:20 > 0:36:24# Yeah, you got that good stuff but that don't last
0:36:24 > 0:36:25# No way
0:36:25 > 0:36:27# So I just can't rely on you
0:36:27 > 0:36:29# I just can't rely on you
0:36:29 > 0:36:30# Mm-mm
0:36:31 > 0:36:33# Just telling it like it is
0:36:33 > 0:36:34# Wait a minute
0:36:38 > 0:36:40# Wait a minute
0:36:40 > 0:36:42# Change your ways
0:36:42 > 0:36:45# Don't I deserve it, babe?
0:36:45 > 0:36:46# Look here
0:36:46 > 0:36:50# Boy, you drive me out of my mind
0:36:50 > 0:36:55# Whoo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eah
0:36:55 > 0:36:56# Whoa-oh
0:36:56 > 0:36:58# I just can't rely on you
0:36:58 > 0:37:00# Just can't rely on you
0:37:00 > 0:37:02# Just can't rely on you
0:37:02 > 0:37:06# Yeah, you got that good stuff but that don't last
0:37:06 > 0:37:07# No way
0:37:07 > 0:37:09# Ain't good enough for me, baby
0:37:09 > 0:37:10# Just can't rely on you
0:37:10 > 0:37:12# Whoo-ooh. #
0:37:13 > 0:37:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:37:15 > 0:37:16Wow!
0:37:17 > 0:37:19Wow!
0:37:19 > 0:37:21- Thank you.- It's a hit!
0:37:21 > 0:37:24Paloma Faith! Wow!
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Come on over, do.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28- Beautiful. That's a bit, a hit.- Thank you.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32Hello. Mwah! Gorgeous. Come and sit down, do.
0:37:32 > 0:37:33Look, it's Hugh Bon.
0:37:33 > 0:37:34- Hello.- Hello.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36Mr Bill Murray.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38An honour.
0:37:38 > 0:37:39Mr Matt Damon.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41Congratulations.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44- Very good. - Gorgeous, you've done a great job.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46- Sit down.- Oh, thank you.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51LAUGHTER
0:37:51 > 0:37:52If you don't mind...
0:37:54 > 0:37:56- One, two, three...- Is this...? Ah!
0:37:56 > 0:38:00Oh! No! Bill Murray! Stop that!
0:38:00 > 0:38:01Stop that! Stop that!
0:38:05 > 0:38:06Guys...
0:38:08 > 0:38:11I'm known for the grace, I really am.
0:38:11 > 0:38:15Well, you appeared to be done on the one side and we thought we'd...
0:38:15 > 0:38:16LAUGHTER
0:38:18 > 0:38:19I can only apologise, Paloma Faith.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21I'm so sorry.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24Ah, this is lovely, isn't it? Come over!
0:38:24 > 0:38:25- Hi.- So, listen...
0:38:28 > 0:38:30Are you eating her shoe?!
0:38:30 > 0:38:32That's one hell of a shoe.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34Give it to her with the lippy.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38MATT: I just love that Lord Grantham's a freak!
0:38:38 > 0:38:41LAUGHTER
0:38:41 > 0:38:42Shoe fiend!
0:38:42 > 0:38:45Paloma Faith, before you get eaten...
0:38:45 > 0:38:46LAUGHTER
0:38:46 > 0:38:48- ..that single is out February 23rd? - It is. Thank you.
0:38:48 > 0:38:49New album is on the...?
0:38:49 > 0:38:52It's March the 10th and it's called A Perfect Contradiction,
0:38:52 > 0:38:56which I think these three gentlemen definitely fit into.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58And it's kind of up-tempo-y stuff? It's dancey stuff?
0:38:58 > 0:39:00It's kind of upbeat.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02It's disco and fun and it's like,
0:39:02 > 0:39:05if it's all gone to shit, then let's just have a dance.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07- Yes! - APPLAUSE
0:39:07 > 0:39:09- Yeah!- Can you say "gone to shit" over here?
0:39:09 > 0:39:11- Yes.- Apparently, we can.
0:39:11 > 0:39:13Well, then let's dance.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:39:15 > 0:39:17And here's an odd thing -
0:39:17 > 0:39:19you haven't met the guys on the couch before, have you?
0:39:19 > 0:39:21- No.- But you've got to know them very quickly, I would say.
0:39:23 > 0:39:24But you have met George Clooney?
0:39:24 > 0:39:26I have met George Clooney.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30I was at... I opened the BAFTAs last year, actually. It's great.
0:39:30 > 0:39:32All right. Good.
0:39:32 > 0:39:36And, um, he said that he'd noticed that I kept going to the toilet.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39I was like, "Why haven't you been to the toilet?"
0:39:39 > 0:39:42Like, all night, he hadn't been to the toilet
0:39:42 > 0:39:45and he told me he had a colostomy bag.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48LAUGHTER
0:39:48 > 0:39:51I was just wondering whether, on set, he went to the toilet much.
0:39:51 > 0:39:52Or if you'd noticed...
0:39:52 > 0:39:54- He must have really trusted you. - Yeah!
0:39:54 > 0:39:56LAUGHTER
0:39:56 > 0:39:58You normally have to know him for like, a decade
0:39:58 > 0:40:00before he lets you in on that.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Yeah, well...
0:40:02 > 0:40:05Listen, we're going to go to the red chair before we go,
0:40:05 > 0:40:07to see who's there. Er, who's up? Who's up?
0:40:07 > 0:40:09- Hello.- Hi.- Hi.
0:40:09 > 0:40:12For once, you're quite glad you're at a distance, aren't you?
0:40:12 > 0:40:14- So what's your name?- Rebecca.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16This is Rebecca. Where are you from, Rebecca?
0:40:16 > 0:40:19- New Zealand.- Oh, you surprise me.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21- Time out - can I just you a really quick question?- Yeah.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24So this is a situation where we're allowed to...?
0:40:24 > 0:40:27- If one of us pulls this lever, she flips?- Yeah.- OK.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29PALOMA: As you just did...
0:40:29 > 0:40:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:40:33 > 0:40:37- This is literally like the Milgram experiment.- Yeah.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40- Fantastic.- OK, that was her. I hope her story wasn't very good.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42- I'm imagining it wasn't. - LAUGHTER
0:40:42 > 0:40:46Wow. So if you don't like her story, you pull this lever...
0:40:46 > 0:40:48That was really real? That was REALLY real?
0:40:48 > 0:40:50I always thought it was rehearsed.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53You know, or cut in in some way. That was real - you did that.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55- That just happened.- And she went... That's incredible.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57I didn't do it, he did it. I didn't do it.
0:40:57 > 0:40:58LAUGHTER
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Did you grow up in a forest or something?
0:41:00 > 0:41:02LAUGHTER
0:41:04 > 0:41:06That's vodka. That's vodka!
0:41:07 > 0:41:09Down in one. Wow.
0:41:09 > 0:41:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:10 > 0:41:12Wow, it is.
0:41:12 > 0:41:13Thank you.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16- I just needed to catch up. - Is there another one?
0:41:16 > 0:41:19Let's see what you got, Scottie. Let's see what you got.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22Come on, you're such a rock'n'roll star.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE - One more.
0:41:27 > 0:41:31- What a waste.- Ladies and gentlemen, her rehab is taking.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Quickly, let's try someone else in the red chair.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36- Let's see if we can get a story. Hello, nice lady.- Hello.
0:41:36 > 0:41:37- What's your name?- Jessica.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39Jessica. Can you hear Jessica?
0:41:39 > 0:41:41- Pardon?- No, I'm not talking...
0:41:41 > 0:41:43LAUGHTER
0:41:43 > 0:41:46- She's so sweet. And she's French. - She's adorable.
0:41:46 > 0:41:47Er, I don't think she's French.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50She said... Didn't she say, like... FRENCH ACCENT: "Pardon?"
0:41:50 > 0:41:52She said, "Pardon?" She's posh.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:41:57 > 0:41:59I love the chair! Put me in it!
0:41:59 > 0:42:01Do you want a go? Do you want a go?
0:42:01 > 0:42:03OK, can Hugh have a go in the chair?
0:42:03 > 0:42:05- OK. Go, Hugh, go. - And do that again.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07- OK.- Where's the chair?
0:42:07 > 0:42:10It's... Follow that man there. Follow him.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13OK. But... But hurry! We've got homes to go to.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18By the way, this is the best time I've ever had on a talk show.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20- Aw, bless you. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:20 > 0:42:21Without a doubt.
0:42:21 > 0:42:23- Thank you very much.- That's true.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26Come and see us again. All right.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29They've laced the champagne with crack.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31Yeah, I think it's the champagne, not the host.
0:42:31 > 0:42:32LAUGHTER
0:42:32 > 0:42:34OK. Who's up next?
0:42:34 > 0:42:37- Hi.- Hi. - Hi, I'm Hugh. I'm from West Sussex.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39- Hi, Hugh!- Hi.
0:42:39 > 0:42:43I'd just like to say that I think Matt Damon is really amazing
0:42:43 > 0:42:45in the fourth Bourne movie...
0:42:45 > 0:42:46Wahey!
0:42:46 > 0:42:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:47 > 0:42:50Well done, everyone! If you'd like to join us on the show
0:42:50 > 0:42:53and have a go in the red chair, you can. Just go to the website.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56Thank you to all my guests tonight -
0:42:56 > 0:42:58Paloma Faith!
0:42:58 > 0:43:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:00 > 0:43:03He's running back - Hugh Bonneville, everybody!
0:43:03 > 0:43:06- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Hugh Bonneville.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09Bill Murray!
0:43:09 > 0:43:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:11 > 0:43:13And Matt Damon, everyone!
0:43:13 > 0:43:15- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:43:15 > 0:43:17Join me next week, when my guests will include
0:43:17 > 0:43:20British actor Dominic Cooper and singing star Lily Allen.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody. Bye-bye!
0:43:23 > 0:43:25- Quick, go! Go! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:52 > 0:43:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:55 > 0:43:57PALOMA: I'm honoured, I really am.
0:43:59 > 0:44:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE