:00:08. > :00:15.One of my guests tonight is the star of the Walter Mitty film. The other
:00:16. > :00:19.is one who day dreams. Sometimes I wish I was an ordinary member of the
:00:20. > :00:27.audience, you know, like you! Can you imagine that? Try to imagine it?
:00:28. > :00:31.Imagine it, imagine it, imagine it. Oh!
:00:32. > :00:32.Read that, read that, read that .. Let's start the show!
:00:33. > :00:55.Yes! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:00:56. > :01:03.Hello! Hi!
:01:04. > :01:07.Oh, welcome to you and you and you. Welcome, all.
:01:08. > :01:11.What a cavalcade of talent I have on the sofa tonight, one of the
:01:12. > :01:17.funniest stars in Hollywood, the brilliant Ben Stiller is here,
:01:18. > :01:21.ladies and gentlemen. I know! Bilbo Baggins himself, Martin
:01:22. > :01:28.Freeman is here! Yes!
:01:29. > :01:34.Jamie Oliver is on the show! Yeah!
:01:35. > :01:40.Plus we have music from Rebecca Ferguson. Pf
:01:41. > :01:46.Oh, I'm looking forward to meeting Jamie Oliver. Here he is. Loves
:01:47. > :01:52.doing a selfie. Is there anyone who loves a selfie more than him?
:01:53. > :01:55.Yeah... Seriously? Cameron, Obama and the
:01:56. > :01:58.Danish Prime Minister taking a selfie at a slightly inappropriate
:01:59. > :02:04.occasion. Hey, hey, I wonder if Michelle Obama
:02:05. > :02:08.thought that was funny? No, she did not.
:02:09. > :02:12.Delighted to have Martin Freeman back on the show. He's about to
:02:13. > :02:19.preprize his role as Bilbo bag begins in the new hobt film --
:02:20. > :02:24.hobbit film. That's him in the lair of Smaug, the ruthless ill-tempered
:02:25. > :02:32.dragon who guards his gold jealously.
:02:33. > :02:36.I don't like your ring, I don't like your hairy beard and for that reason
:02:37. > :02:41.I'm out - I do impressions! So excited to welcome Ben Stiller on to
:02:42. > :02:44.the show! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:02:45. > :02:49.You might well cheer. He'll be telling us about his new film, The
:02:50. > :02:54.Secret Life Of Walter Mitty. Ben's character spends his whole life day
:02:55. > :02:58.bream dreaming. All sorts of people have day dreams - I would like to
:02:59. > :03:04.achieve world peace. I would like to be Prime Minister.
:03:05. > :03:10.I like cheese. Let's get some guests on.
:03:11. > :03:17.Later, we'll have music from Rebecca Ferguson.
:03:18. > :03:22.But first, it's Jamie Oliver! Hello.
:03:23. > :03:31.Hello, Sir. Sit yourself down. Very nice to see you. He's got the hobbit
:03:32. > :03:36.habit, it's Martin Freeman! Hello. Sit yourself down. And time
:03:37. > :03:41.to Meet The Fockers, it's Ben Stiller!
:03:42. > :03:50.Wow. Hello. I'm really well, lovely to see you. Sit yourself down.
:03:51. > :03:55.Woo. Hello, gents. All good? Very good. You have a large audience
:03:56. > :03:58.Yes. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:03:59. > :04:06.Because heating your home is quite expensive.
:04:07. > :04:13.Hm. Do you two know each other? We have met before. Yes, where did we
:04:14. > :04:18.meet? At your premier when you did that film when you wiped your bum
:04:19. > :04:23.with a ferret. Oh yes, that one Thank you very much. It was
:04:24. > :04:27.emotional. It meant a lot to me You've stayed in touch, clearly We
:04:28. > :04:31.ran into each other at a restaurant. Do you remember that? Yes, then I
:04:32. > :04:36.came to see you in a very good play in which you were very good. I'm
:04:37. > :04:42.surprise, he's a very good actor. I'm not lying.
:04:43. > :04:46.For a moment, it looked like we might do a film together, then we
:04:47. > :04:51.didn't. It fell apart. I like your Socks though. Thanks, man, it's
:04:52. > :04:56.swings and roundabouts, we didn t do a film, but look at these Socks
:04:57. > :05:00.Martin and Jamie? Never met I don't think. We must met in the toilet.
:05:01. > :05:08.He's beautiful. OK. Just about half an hour ago
:05:09. > :05:14.Sorry I missed out on that. Jamie Oliver, a chef, is on the
:05:15. > :05:20.show, and I notice. Yes. Have you brought us Christmas treats? No no,
:05:21. > :05:23.no, no. Chocolate. But also vegan Brownies for a certain friend who's
:05:24. > :05:33.a vegan here. Yes, I am. Vegan Brownies? I always
:05:34. > :05:44.check any dietary requirements and they said vegan. Right. Disdainful.
:05:45. > :05:49.I'm sorry, I was a vegan. That's really annoying. A vegan is annoying
:05:50. > :05:57.but a vegan who shows up and goes "oh, no, I can eat anything". I got
:05:58. > :06:01.too annoying as a vegan. I can't tell you how difficult it was to
:06:02. > :06:07.develop a really good Brownie for a vegan. Really good, fresh. Doesn't
:06:08. > :06:12.mean I can't eat thinks that are vegan just because I used to eat a
:06:13. > :06:19.vegan. I'll try one. I don't really eat eggs or dairy. Eggs are in
:06:20. > :06:23.veganism. Aren't they? Shouldn't you know all about that stuff? To be
:06:24. > :06:29.honest, I just phoned up Nigella and said, can you just sort me out.
:06:30. > :06:37.APPLAUSE They're great. Would you like to try
:06:38. > :06:45.some? Please, please. They taste very healthy. Yes, yes,
:06:46. > :06:48.yes. A vegan Brownie for you. Really good. That's what happens
:06:49. > :06:53.when you give away free food. I know. They were so delicious, I
:06:54. > :07:01.finished mine! Yeah. Don't feel you have to finish
:07:02. > :07:06.it, by the way. I like it. Very quickly, I've got to
:07:07. > :07:15.mention one of my favourite film, Zoolander.
:07:16. > :07:19.APPLAUSE Is it true there'll be a sequel
:07:20. > :07:22.Possibly. There's a script and they are trying to figure out if it can
:07:23. > :07:28.be got together. I want to make sure it's put together the way it should
:07:29. > :07:33.be. Does it kind of plague you, the Blue Steel and all that sort of
:07:34. > :07:37.stuff? I actually like it because of that, the fact that it wasn't a big
:07:38. > :07:41.hit and I get people on Twitter sending me pictures of their kids
:07:42. > :07:48.saying, this is my baby doing Blue Steel and it's a baby like this
:07:49. > :07:51.Everybody seems to think their child is doing that. It's nice. Do you
:07:52. > :07:54.have to make an effort, like if you were doing a promotion for
:07:55. > :07:59.something, do you have to make sure your face never goes into Blue
:08:00. > :08:03.Steel? I do it unintentionally sometimes. The whole look came out
:08:04. > :08:07.of the way that my wife told me that I look when I would brush my hair in
:08:08. > :08:11.the mirror. Like when I look in the mirror, I look at myself and she'll
:08:12. > :08:17.go like, why are you going like this? ! I realised it was my mirror
:08:18. > :08:21.face. Obviously, mobile phones have changed the whole thing of
:08:22. > :08:27.photographs. And Martin, I hear you are very happy to have your picture
:08:28. > :08:31.taken. That's what I heard? That's absolute bullshit. I don't know the
:08:32. > :08:38.rest of the sentence. The rest of it now is informed by your reaction,
:08:39. > :08:43.but you never smile. That's because I'm not that happy. The clue is that
:08:44. > :08:46.I'm not really smiling. I don't mind moving images of myself, but yes,
:08:47. > :08:51.still photography I've never quite got the hang of. I don't know what
:08:52. > :08:55.face to pull. Blue Steel, I should try that. But yes, I don't hate it
:08:56. > :09:01.but I'm not very good at it at all, no. But as men, you always feel
:09:02. > :09:05.inadequate in a photo shoot? I sure do, yeah. Definitely don't know what
:09:06. > :09:16.I'm doing in a photo shoot. They must try to make you do terrible
:09:17. > :09:21.things, Jamie? Oh, oh... LAUGHTER From my Naked Chef times,
:09:22. > :09:26.I'm constantly being asked to get my kit off, it's just a nightmare, or
:09:27. > :09:29.juggle fruit and veg and stick them in places and smile and I am
:09:30. > :09:34.smiling, a bit more, let's see those teeth, you know. But one
:09:35. > :09:42.photographer did get you to get your kit off? Er... Well partly it took a
:09:43. > :09:49.while to get the confidence to say no, like J-Lo and say no, but I did
:09:50. > :09:53.an awful shoot. Actually, it was for an American magazine in a bathtub
:09:54. > :10:04.full of sud and fruit I think. It was such the worst picture. I can't
:10:05. > :10:07.imagine what that looks like. APPLAUSE
:10:08. > :10:11.You're a baby! The thing is, I've got four kids
:10:12. > :10:18.now. The next few years when Poppy and Daisy come back and go, "dad,
:10:19. > :10:26.why were you dressed up with that dog" and why "why were you in that
:10:27. > :10:30.gin fruit bowl? " Ben, your new film is, The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty.
:10:31. > :10:37.This is you as an actor and director, out on the 26th December -
:10:38. > :10:41.Boxing Day - obvious obviously St Steven's day. What is the origins of
:10:42. > :10:49.that day? Isn't it when you open your boxes? No. A coal delivery
:10:50. > :10:53.wasn't it, guys? Does anybody know? Does anybody care The family have a
:10:54. > :10:58.fist fight following a terrible Christmas Day. Which is more true.
:10:59. > :11:05.Is it called anything else in America? The Secret Life Of Walter
:11:06. > :11:10.Mitty - oh, Boxing Day, oh, it's called the Day after Christmas. Yes.
:11:11. > :11:14.Listen, the thing about this film is, you talk about the Hobbit being
:11:15. > :11:19.epic, but this is a comedy but also has an epic element to it? Yes, it's
:11:20. > :11:23.a guy going out into the world on this journey, the character is a
:11:24. > :11:28.dray dreamer and he's lives in his head a lot and is forced to go out
:11:29. > :11:33.into the world and is forced to find a negative because he takes
:11:34. > :11:42.photographs for Life magazine. He goes to places like Iceland and
:11:43. > :11:51.places like that. We had hobbit type Vistas. It's all good.
:11:52. > :11:57.We had mountains and stuff. The fantasy elements were big action
:11:58. > :12:01.sequences? Yes. Walter lives in New York and a lot of his fantasies
:12:02. > :12:07.involve him doing things in New York. He has a boss that's really
:12:08. > :12:11.horrible to him and he has a fantasy of fighting the boss in the streets
:12:12. > :12:16.of New York, it's sort of a super hero fight. There was a safety rig.
:12:17. > :12:25.I'm sure you have to do stuff like that. I just didn't use any. Lots of
:12:26. > :12:32.people do, it's fine. This stuff was really dangerous? Well, yeah, if
:12:33. > :12:36.it's an 100 foot dragon. Some of the stuff does look
:12:37. > :12:41.dangerous, but you're directing it, but because you are doing the stuff,
:12:42. > :12:46.you've got stunt people telling you? Yes, once you get there, you work it
:12:47. > :12:52.out and let the coordinate coordinator do it. This ex-marine
:12:53. > :12:57.takes over during those moments And there was a sequence where I jumped
:12:58. > :13:02.into the water in the Iceland sea. Chilly? Yes, very. I was wearing a
:13:03. > :13:08.dry suit which kept my body warm but hands and head when they got wet,
:13:09. > :13:12.got really cold. Yes. We did a shot ready to jump in and there was a
:13:13. > :13:16.fishing trawler behind me. We did it once and I thought we had it and he
:13:17. > :13:22.made me do it again, of course. I said, do we have to and he said "you
:13:23. > :13:32.know, well yes". Made me feel like I was going to be like a pussy or
:13:33. > :13:37.something. Actually, you mentioned that and this is a clip we have
:13:38. > :13:41.This is where the fantasies stop and he's encountering real life? Yes,
:13:42. > :13:50.it's all sort of happening. Here is the clip.
:13:51. > :13:55.There's a fin here I think. It will be a porpoise. I don't think it s a
:13:56. > :14:03.porpoise. It will protect you from the sharks. OK.
:14:04. > :14:24.I'm here. Hey. Hey. OK. That's a shark. That's what I said.
:14:25. > :14:30.APPLAUSE Wow. Listen, The Secret Life Of
:14:31. > :14:34.Walter Mitty is obviously about a man's rich fantasy life. We asked
:14:35. > :14:39.the audience if they had fantasies. Ben, these are going to blow you
:14:40. > :14:44.away. Look at that audience. Imagine the rich fantasy lives they will
:14:45. > :14:49.have. Where's Elaine? Now, let's have a lack at Elaine. Let's get the
:14:50. > :14:53.camera to Elaine. Let's see her That's Elaine. Looks like a regular
:14:54. > :14:59.lady. Wait until you hear her fantasy. This is her fantasy. OK. "I
:15:00. > :15:05.work in a small independent opticians," that's reality, man not
:15:06. > :15:10.fantasy. This is her fantasy. She fantasises that someone would come
:15:11. > :15:13.in and buy all the expensive sunglasses as I know that would
:15:14. > :15:20.really stand me in good stead with the boss.
:15:21. > :15:28.LAUGHTER That's her fantasy.
:15:29. > :15:30.Really swinging through the fences there.
:15:31. > :15:35.She's given herself the freedom to dream and there's nothing wrong with
:15:36. > :15:40.that. No. Good on you, Elaine, keep dreaming.
:15:41. > :15:43.Really amazing. I wouldn't have guessed that looking at you. It s
:15:44. > :15:49.impossible to tell. This next one is a little better. Where's Rita?
:15:50. > :16:01.There's Rita. Look at Rita! She s so frisky. Her fantasy is rubbing olive
:16:02. > :16:05.oil all over Jamie Oliver. She's made it into a recipe.
:16:06. > :16:11.Seasoning him with a dash of salt and pepper. Wow. Would you then cook
:16:12. > :16:16.him? Is that the idea? Absolutely, yes. Olive oil on his cheeks? And a
:16:17. > :16:22.bit more elsewhere. Ooh! Rita, hello! Happy Christmas.
:16:23. > :16:31.May I ask a question? Please do Hello. Hello. Erm, thank you. Would
:16:32. > :16:36.that be extra Virgin olive oil? Without a shadow of a doubt? . Would
:16:37. > :16:42.that be your every day cheap salt or sea salt? Got to be sea salt,
:16:43. > :16:47.nothing else. Thank you. I like the way you imagine you are going to eat
:16:48. > :16:52.yourself. I'm hoping I'm going to be delicious! Made a lot of mar miss
:16:53. > :16:57.that in my time. -- marinades in my time.
:16:58. > :17:05.Where's Lucy? There's Lucy. Hello. Can the person speak their own
:17:06. > :17:09.fantasy. Oh, go! Can I just say, we have been doing
:17:10. > :17:16.this show for 15 years, we have learned that no, they can't. That's
:17:17. > :17:25.why I read them. It's a trial-and-error process and you see
:17:26. > :17:29.Lucy now, incapable. Just looking a little like argh.
:17:30. > :17:34.LAUGHTER I know what you mean, it does seem
:17:35. > :17:42.weird. Nice try. A a lot of them don't speak English.
:17:43. > :17:48.There must be a translator here Lucy. "I fantasise about getting a
:17:49. > :17:57.selfie with Martin Freeman and he smiled in the picture". I think this
:17:58. > :18:01.might be true. Have you got your phone? Come down.
:18:02. > :18:09.Come down. OK.
:18:10. > :18:18.APPLAUSE Are you going to do it yourself A
:18:19. > :18:25.selfie. The definition of a selfie is that you're doing it yourself.
:18:26. > :18:30.Who is that? It's a wrestler. Why the hell do you want a selfie with
:18:31. > :18:36.me? ! If your normal kind of guy is a wrestler? ! It's a fantasy come
:18:37. > :18:42.true. OK, OK. It's not a selfie if she does that. But this is quicker I
:18:43. > :18:46.feel and her hands are shaking. She's smiling. Go on, smile. He s
:18:47. > :18:51.smiling, ladies and gentlemen. Beautiful! Beautiful. You got your
:18:52. > :18:54.selfie. Well done, Lucy. There she goes. .
:18:55. > :18:59.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Made her fantasy come true!
:19:00. > :19:05.Now, it's fun you to see you smiling though. It's like you are doing a
:19:06. > :19:09.character or something. He doesn't even know me and he thinks I'm a
:19:10. > :19:14.miserable shit. He saw you in that restaurant.
:19:15. > :19:18.Hey, talking of fantasies, the hobbit, the great greatest film of
:19:19. > :19:27.all-time is back. Opened in cinemas today. Last time we saw you, you
:19:28. > :19:35.were about half way to Smaug? Smog you said, not even trying. Is it
:19:36. > :19:41.Smaug? Yes, not smog. In Ireland we say snog. It's indifferent. It's not
:19:42. > :19:46.your accent. Anyway, half way to the dragon's lair? You pick us up where
:19:47. > :19:50.we are very much on the journey facings trialing and tribulations
:19:51. > :19:54.and Bilbo is in a different phase of his life, he's no longer the sort of
:19:55. > :19:59.innocent wide-eyed thing, he's having to get stuck in and do or die
:20:00. > :20:04.really. A lot more action in this one. Yes, there is. In the first
:20:05. > :20:10.film, you had to set up the premise of who everybody is and introduce 13
:20:11. > :20:15.dwarves for a start. This one we just start running and expect the
:20:16. > :20:19.audience to hopefully know where we are. Seriously, your performance in
:20:20. > :20:24.this, I don't know how you do it, it's so clever. In terms of how the
:20:25. > :20:29.ring is changing Bilbo and it's over such a long period of time? You mean
:20:30. > :20:34.the filming of it Well, all of it, watching it is long, but...
:20:35. > :20:40.LAUGHTER? That was almost a compliment. Of course it's long Do
:20:41. > :20:45.you file away in your head kind of where I should be in my arc or is
:20:46. > :20:51.Peter Jackson defining you? It's a mixture of both. Page one acting is,
:20:52. > :20:56.where have I been and where am I going, so you have to keep a handle
:20:57. > :21:04.on that. From beginning to end it was two-and-a-half years, so it s a
:21:05. > :21:08.long gig. We have a clip. Go on The Desolation Of Smaug. Well said.
:21:09. > :21:19.That better? Yes. Really? Yes, Smaug, as in crowd, yes. It crimes
:21:20. > :21:25.are crowd? Yes, Smaug. Smaug? Yes. Anyway, this is you, Ian McKellen is
:21:26. > :21:32.Gandalf and he's starting to twig that Bilbo is changing.
:21:33. > :21:37.OK. You have changed, Baggins, you are not the same hobbit as the one
:21:38. > :21:48.that lift the shire -- left the shire. I was going to tell you.
:21:49. > :21:55.I... Found something in the goblin tunnels. Found what?
:21:56. > :22:19.What did you find? My courage. Good. That's good. You'll need it.
:22:20. > :22:25.APPLAUSE I look like I'm coming round my
:22:26. > :22:29.uncle's house when I come here, it's like "well done". Very good. Your
:22:30. > :22:42.guys, are you fans of this genre? How much do you love me? ! Loads.
:22:43. > :22:45.You are pretty good. I'm actually a huge fan so I was excited to be on
:22:46. > :22:53.the show and I'm very excited about the new Sherlock season.
:22:54. > :22:57.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It's not all about me. It's all
:22:58. > :23:02.about Martin. Back on New Year's Day? Correct. It's the 1st, 5th and
:23:03. > :23:09.12th. They are really chucking em out there? Yeah. One of the odd
:23:10. > :23:13.things that Sherlock fans do, when Benedict was here, he was telling us
:23:14. > :23:19.about how they compare him to an otter and it seems unlikely, but
:23:20. > :23:26.here is a classic. Benedict Cumberbatch, and here he is looking
:23:27. > :23:29.like an otter. It does sort of work. Now they've got you compared to
:23:30. > :23:35.another woodland creature. Do you know what is coming? No. You don't
:23:36. > :23:44.follow me on the Internet? ! What's wrong with you? Can you guess what
:23:45. > :23:53.creature he might be? Careful. Other side? Keep it clean. It's It's
:23:54. > :23:58.really unlikely. Cat weasel. Unbelievable. Cat weasel? ! That's
:23:59. > :24:09.not even a creature. It's an old tramp in the woods!
:24:10. > :24:18.No, it is a hedgehog. A hedgehog is not express
:24:19. > :24:23.expressive. LAUGHTER
:24:24. > :24:27.And here is Martin. Here is Martin. You would think a hedgehog couldn't
:24:28. > :24:36.look like that. LAUGHTER
:24:37. > :24:38.Amazing. APPLAUSE
:24:39. > :24:45.Happy hedgehog. Then less happy Martin. Does he have a hedgehog to
:24:46. > :24:50.look like him? Yes, he does. I don't think he looks like a
:24:51. > :24:55.hedgehog at all. Anybody making a face like that could look like a
:24:56. > :24:58.hedgehog. I think Ben's seen through the flaw. Explain this one then
:24:59. > :25:08.This is so specific. OK. OK. Now look at the hedgehog.
:25:09. > :25:19.LAUGHTER I rest my case. OK. If you don't
:25:20. > :25:23.mind, this is the clincher. This is Martin Freeman obvious obviously
:25:24. > :25:30.engaging with fans. How can a hedgehog do this. I'm told this
:25:31. > :25:41.isn't photo shopped. Looks like a mutant hedgehog.
:25:42. > :25:43.A post-apocalyptic thing. APPLAUSE
:25:44. > :25:47.It's Christmas and Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without Jamie
:25:48. > :25:54.Oliver being top of the best-selling book list. Save With Jamie came from
:25:55. > :26:00.your online community, your fans, the forums? Yes. They liked the
:26:01. > :26:04.quick recipes? Yes, but the fans, the people that like to cook, they
:26:05. > :26:08.know what they want and one minute it was speed and the next minute it
:26:09. > :26:12.was delicious food, comfort food that is not going to break the bank,
:26:13. > :26:16.stuff that will help save you money and I kind of thought it was a
:26:17. > :26:21.timely thing in the recession and looking at the average Brit wastes
:26:22. > :26:25.40% of everything we buy, I thought it would be really good for letting
:26:26. > :26:29.me worry about creating the whole book of delicious food where the
:26:30. > :26:34.average cost is about ?1. 30 a portion and rest assured that it's
:26:35. > :26:38.delish. So that's what I did and hopefully people love it. You asked
:26:39. > :26:43.the readers questions throughout the book. For instance, here is one on
:26:44. > :26:48.page 7 0. "Have you ever opened a bottle of wine and not quite
:26:49. > :26:54.finished it? " No!
:26:55. > :27:02.I'm sorry. Jamie, if you did that, how would you know it's time to go
:27:03. > :27:07.to bed? LAUGHTER It's a world turned up side
:27:08. > :27:11.down. But there are some really lovely recipes in there. I try and
:27:12. > :27:14.make them solid and safe and we test the hell out of them and get the
:27:15. > :27:17.public to test them and we get teenagers to test them so, you know,
:27:18. > :27:21.hopefully that's what we are known for, stuff that works. There's
:27:22. > :27:25.nothing more to bring out the anger in the British public or any public
:27:26. > :27:28.when they go shopping for the ingredients and it don't work. The
:27:29. > :27:34.chef world seems very competitive? Very much so. You seem to be fair
:27:35. > :27:37.game for some reason, like Gordon Ramsay's been quite rude about you,
:27:38. > :27:43.why do they pick on you, because you are successful? We used to get on.
:27:44. > :27:49.Did you really? Yeah... But, I don't know what happened really. It's a
:27:50. > :27:55.shame. It is a bit. Oh, I see. Well, it is a bit because when I was
:27:56. > :27:58.a young chef and you are training, there are certain characters that
:27:59. > :28:03.are your everything and you look up and read every word of their books
:28:04. > :28:07.and then when life doesn't quite work like that it's a bit
:28:08. > :28:17.disappointing really. Ben Stiller, you are very woman pettive aren t
:28:18. > :28:20.you? Am I? That's what I hear? Didn't Ping-Pong take over your
:28:21. > :28:24.life? Yes, there was a Ping-Pong table and a tournament developed and
:28:25. > :28:28.I got very competitive and shouldn't have been because I wasn't very
:28:29. > :28:33.good. It was frustrating to be competitive and not be good at
:28:34. > :28:37.something so yes, definitely. But then didn't you train up and decide
:28:38. > :28:42.I'm going to do this? I took some lessons, yes. Table-tennis election
:28:43. > :28:52.sons, did you? Yes, from a person who said they were a pro, yes. I am
:28:53. > :28:56.quite good at table-tennis. You were going to be a professional squash
:28:57. > :29:01.player? I thought easy was going to be until I was 14. As a junior, I
:29:02. > :29:04.was very good, yes. I didn't though there were professional squash
:29:05. > :29:09.players? At the time I was doing it in the 80s, it nearly came
:29:10. > :29:13.Overground and people got known and the national press started picking
:29:14. > :29:19.up on it and my heroes started to be like on things like A Question of
:29:20. > :29:24.Sport and grandstanded and for about five minutes squash was big then
:29:25. > :29:31.went underground again. Do do you use the ceiling also in squash? This
:29:32. > :29:36.is the reason squash was never. . There's no ceiling. You use walls.
:29:37. > :29:43.Like raquet ball? Yes, but with a smaller head and smaller ball. It's
:29:44. > :29:48.meat and drink for you? Yes. Dodge ball, you really did that? Yes, yes,
:29:49. > :29:52.a long time ago, we'd seen dodge ball and my wife was in the scene
:29:53. > :29:56.and I was playing against her in the scene and I had to, you know, nail
:29:57. > :30:02.her with the dodge ball and I, I did. Bang in the face? Yes, which
:30:03. > :30:08.you shouldn't do. I mean it wasn't, I wanted to just get it right for
:30:09. > :30:12.the shot but it was too strong. Was that a quiet drive snoem I don't
:30:13. > :30:16.think we drove home together! I've got work to do, see you back
:30:17. > :30:24.there! Moving on. A lot of cooking talk is
:30:25. > :30:27.taken out of context. It's quite innuendo-laden. If you got all the
:30:28. > :30:34.phrases that Jamie says and stuck them together... Oh, my God. You've
:30:35. > :30:37.probably seen this. So if you listen very carefully, there's visuals as
:30:38. > :30:41.well, but listen very carefully this is what you get. It's Jamie
:30:42. > :30:48.Oliver talks dirty. Hi, guys, welcome to mischief food,
:30:49. > :30:51.pick up a bone. It's not hard, just over centimetrics so it's it's not
:30:52. > :30:55.wobblings. Rub it backwards and forwards again and again and again.
:30:56. > :30:59.Not that there is a rush but you can get a sense of urgency, you can t
:31:00. > :31:04.just sit there playing around, so keep it moving. Don't want to it be
:31:05. > :31:12.wobbly. Keep tossing it off. No point in getting scared now. Rub it
:31:13. > :31:17.all over. Be careful, don't! It -- don't! It all over the place. Second
:31:18. > :31:23.important bit, my cucumber, put it full whack into the burger. Then
:31:24. > :31:27.have a look inside it. Then I'm going to put it in your mouth. Some
:31:28. > :31:31.people love it, some people hate it. Give it a try, don't turn your nose
:31:32. > :31:36.up at it. If you don't like it, you can take it out which is nice and
:31:37. > :31:39.reasonable. But let's not be precious. It doesn't really matter
:31:40. > :31:43.what it looks like. What does matter is that when you eat it, you don't
:31:44. > :31:47.get a massive chunk of cheese. Some people don't like it, some love it
:31:48. > :31:52.because they are used to it. Don't worry about it, just stick it in
:31:53. > :32:00.there and do the best job possible. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:32:01. > :32:05.Beautiful. It's music time everyone. But first, Ben you've got to go I
:32:06. > :32:09.do, yes. Sorry, I don't want to leave. What the hell are you doing?
:32:10. > :32:14.Supposed to go to a screening of our movie. Followed by a vegan dinner
:32:15. > :32:17.party. Yes. So, please... I have to answer
:32:18. > :32:23.questions afterwards, that's why I have to go. Oh, OK! I'm not just
:32:24. > :32:27.going to watch. I feel bad. I wanna stay. We've loved having you here.
:32:28. > :32:31.So please say thank you to the fabulous Mr Ben Stiller.
:32:32. > :32:34.Thank you. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:32:35. > :32:38.OK. I love this woman's voice, probably up with of the best acts
:32:39. > :32:54.ever to come out of the X Factor. Here she is, Rebecca Ferguson!
:32:55. > :33:12.# I used to hate you so easily. # Look into your eyes so eagerly. #
:33:13. > :33:21.And where there was cold. # I wouldn't walk away. # 'Cause when
:33:22. > :33:32.there's money love is blind. # He's so blind. # But after a time. # I
:33:33. > :33:43.realized that for me to grow. # I've got to let go. # I hope life treats
:33:44. > :33:50.you good. # I hope life treats you good. # I hope, I hope, I hope, I
:33:51. > :33:55.hope, I hope, I hope. # I hope life treats you well. # I hope she treats
:33:56. > :34:04.you well. # I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope. # I hope
:34:05. > :34:10.that she is kind. # I hope that she is kind. # I hope, I hope, I hope, I
:34:11. > :34:14.hope, I hope, I hope. # 'Cause after a time you realize that it ain't
:34:15. > :34:27.easy. # 'Cause after a time you realize that you should've believed
:34:28. > :34:33.me. # I hope life treats you good. # I hope life treats you good. # I
:34:34. > :34:42.hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope. # Loving ourselves
:34:43. > :34:47.comes so easily. # Forgiveness was like the biggest sin to me. # And
:34:48. > :34:55.where there was war. # I wouldn t walk away. # But after a time. # I
:34:56. > :35:08.realized that for me to grow. # I've got to let go. # I hope life treats
:35:09. > :35:14.you good. # I hope life treats you good. # I hope, I hope, I hope, I
:35:15. > :35:20.hope, I hope, I hope. # I hope life treats you well. # I hope she treats
:35:21. > :35:27.you well. # I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope. # I hope
:35:28. > :35:33.that she is kind. # I hope that she is kind. # I hope, I hope, I hope, I
:35:34. > :35:38.hope, I hope, I hope. # Hope life treats you good. # I hope life
:35:39. > :35:56.treats you good. # I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope. # Used
:35:57. > :36:04.to hate you so easily. # I forgive you
:36:05. > :36:13.# For all that you are #... #
:36:14. > :36:21.Rebecca Ferguson, everybody. Gorgeous. Come over and join me
:36:22. > :36:27.Mwah! Rebecca Ferguson. Have a seat. Hi. Hi. Jamie Oliver. Martin
:36:28. > :36:31.Freeman. Nice to meet you.
:36:32. > :36:35.I love that song. I've been playing it to death on the radio. Thank you
:36:36. > :36:38.so much for doing it. Thank you thanks for having me. Delighted to
:36:39. > :36:43.have you here. That is out now, the single? Yes. It's off the second
:36:44. > :36:48.album which we have waited a while for? I know, I was so busy. You know
:36:49. > :36:50.what though, I finished working on the last album last December and
:36:51. > :36:54.then went straight into writing this album so it seems like I've been
:36:55. > :36:59.away for quite a long time but I have been busy. I believe you, all
:37:00. > :37:01.right! I know you are not sitting at home watching telly picking your
:37:02. > :37:05.nose. All this new stuff, are you touring?
:37:06. > :37:09.Are people going to see you? I'm touring in March in the UK and I'm
:37:10. > :37:17.in Europe in April so I'm busy. In Europe in April? Yes. In the Europe?
:37:18. > :37:24.Yes. Something Sonia said years ago. Oh, which was it? Yes, when she was
:37:25. > :37:31.in the Eurovision Song Contest. I'm in the Europe. Do your Sonia
:37:32. > :37:38.impression - oh, you are doing it! Time for a story from the red chair.
:37:39. > :37:44.Let us see who is up first. Hi. You look a little tense. Relax! Relax.
:37:45. > :37:49.There's a crash mat. What is your name, Sir? Jordan. And
:37:50. > :37:52.where do you live? In London, but I'm from Yorkshire. What do you do
:37:53. > :37:56.in London? I'm a police officer Really? He's a police officer! Very
:37:57. > :38:00.good. What area of the police are you in? Are you a bobby on the beat?
:38:01. > :38:05.A detective. Seems very young to be a detective.
:38:06. > :38:10.Seems very young. You would know, of course. I would know, yes.
:38:11. > :38:18.LAUGHTER Sherlock, you know.
:38:19. > :38:23.Yeah. He looks younger than Rupert Graves. For me, he's too young to be
:38:24. > :38:28.a detective. You wouldn't cast him as a detective? Way too young. If he
:38:29. > :38:32.came round, you would say, they are not going to solve this crime.
:38:33. > :38:36.Unless the crime has taken place in a kindergarten. They stole our
:38:37. > :38:43.trampoline! Ah h. Sorry, I got distracted,
:38:44. > :38:49.Jordan. Officer Jordan, off you go with your story. Cooking a disaster,
:38:50. > :38:55.I apologise to Jamie. My wife's the worst cook ever, but I thought I'd
:38:56. > :39:01.do something adventurous, so I made sausage, mash and veg. Wow. Yeah. I
:39:02. > :39:06.was there mashing away the potato for hours, it felt like, and I
:39:07. > :39:09.couldn't get the lumps out so I thought I would put nit the food
:39:10. > :39:13.bledder thinking I would get the lumps out because that's what that
:39:14. > :39:17.does. It didn't quite come out looking like mashed potato though
:39:18. > :39:21.but I had to no choice but to serve it, at which point one of my friends
:39:22. > :39:24.finally ate the food, in fear as they were, they thought it was
:39:25. > :39:37.Chelseas sauce because it was liquid goo all over the plate.
:39:38. > :39:45.You see, we brief them beforehand and say, tell us the most amazing,
:39:46. > :39:52.most amusing thing that's ever happened in your life!
:39:53. > :39:56.Jordan's a detective. Imagine all the exciting things that happened to
:39:57. > :39:59.that man and he went with runny mash potato!
:40:00. > :40:05.LAUGHTER Wow. Wow. I usually feel sorry for
:40:06. > :40:09.the people you do that to, but that was justified. It really was. The
:40:10. > :40:12.thing that amazed me is, he had a blender.
:40:13. > :40:17.What was he doing with that? ! Must have been a gift.
:40:18. > :40:21.All right, hello. Hi. Hi. You are fine. You are fine.
:40:22. > :40:32.You could be the walker. What is your name? It's Leanne.
:40:33. > :40:34.Where do you live? In a small town called Atherstone not far from
:40:35. > :40:38.Coventry. Ah yes. What do you do there? I m a
:40:39. > :40:45.business analyst. She's a business analyst!
:40:46. > :40:49.Seriously, that's what she does Rebecca, she's a business analyst.
:40:50. > :40:55.Don't look like that! It's a valid job. You are a singer,
:40:56. > :41:01.she's a business analyst. She loves analysing business, it's what gets
:41:02. > :41:06.her up in the morning. Leanne. Delight us with your tale.
:41:07. > :41:11.Right, it's a bit embarrassing actually, I can't... Good! That s
:41:12. > :41:15.the point. Already we are on to a winner if
:41:16. > :41:19.it's better than mashed potato, I'll let you walk!
:41:20. > :41:25.When I was much younger and foolish, I was on holiday with some friends.
:41:26. > :41:30.Oh, yes. We decided one night to go skinny-dipping in the lake. Can I
:41:31. > :41:33.stop you there, already mash potato, you've surpassed. You're naked on
:41:34. > :41:38.holiday. Hurrah!
:41:39. > :41:43.So, I was so desperate to get into the lake so that people didn't see
:41:44. > :41:47.me that I ran as fast as I could, slipped over on the top step,
:41:48. > :41:53.knocked myself out and ended up getting rescued out of the lake by
:41:54. > :42:00.my friends. Wow. I told that on TV. Shall we let her
:42:01. > :42:06.walk? Yes, we'll let you walk. Go on, walk. Go on, Leanne. One more,
:42:07. > :42:15.one more. OK. Last one, here we go. Hello. Hi. What is your name? Yaz,
:42:16. > :42:25.Y-A-Z. All right, I'll write it down.
:42:26. > :42:30.LAUGHTER Where do you live, Yaz with a Z I
:42:31. > :42:34.live in Weybridge. What do you do for a living? Marketing analyst
:42:35. > :42:41.Another one, more of the analysts, they love being analysts, don't they
:42:42. > :42:47.love analysing. OK, use, yes, I got that right, it's Y-A-Z, yes. Off you
:42:48. > :42:52.go, Yaz? This is about my previous job. I had recently started this job
:42:53. > :43:00.and we had this Christmas dinner and there was a huge table and yeah we
:43:01. > :43:05.just sat mixed teams and the sales director, top man, just was sitting
:43:06. > :43:10.next to me and I was like, oh, this is a good opportunity to show off.
:43:11. > :43:13.Anyway, so they were talking about work, you know, they were talking
:43:14. > :43:16.about promotions and everything and I just want to show myself that I
:43:17. > :43:23.know what they are talking about... Glad you did!
:43:24. > :43:27.LAUGHTER Yeah, and then, we get a promotion called one month free so
:43:28. > :43:32.we give customers one month free product. So I turned around to the
:43:33. > :43:37.sales director and said, do you want one night stand instead of one month
:43:38. > :43:42.free? My God. Thank you, Yaz. Well done,
:43:43. > :43:46.everyone. If you would like to join us on the sofa, have a goo, you can
:43:47. > :43:52.contact us via the website at this very address: Thank you, my lovely
:43:53. > :43:57.guests tonight, Rebecca Ferguson. Jamie Oliver.
:43:58. > :44:06.Martin Freeman. Join me next week with Tinie Tempah,
:44:07. > :44:12.Miranda Hart and Julie Walters. Good night, everybody. Bye-bye!