0:00:02 > 0:00:03It's the end of another great series.
0:00:03 > 0:00:05Everything's been packed away. The studio's empty.
0:00:05 > 0:00:10But, you know, I do sort of miss my audience. Oh, I wish they were here.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13I wish they were here. I wish they were here.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14CHEERING
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Let's start the show!
0:00:32 > 0:00:33Oh!
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Oh!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Good evening! Hello.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Hello.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43CHEERING
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Good evening. Welcome, all. Oh!
0:00:46 > 0:00:48I tell you, what a great series this has been.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51So many highlights, starting with this.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54- Let's get started, if we...- Yeah!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Thank you. - We can do it. Ready?- Cheers.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Cheers.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01One, two, three...
0:01:01 > 0:01:04CHEERING
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Oh, he did!
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Wow.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12CHEERING CONTINUES
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Oh!
0:01:16 > 0:01:20- Wow.- Don't do this at home. Don't do this at home.- Oh, God.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23That ginger ale is crazy.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Now you should just ask us really personal questions.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Dame Julie and I want to announce that we're engaged officially.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35- Was there a lot of bonding backstage?- Yes.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- About five seconds' worth, right? - Yes.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Yes, I wanted to come to England
0:01:39 > 0:01:43and, on your television programme, to announce our love.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45- Now, obviously, you're familiar with the guys, aren't you?- Yeah.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- Are you kidding?! Of course I am.- Yes.- No, and...
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- We've been very familiar, haven't we?- Yes. Yes.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Yes.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Wow. Channing, what...? Are you losing it? Are you losing it?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58I don't know...
0:01:58 > 0:02:02It's early in the evening. By the shank of the evening, we'll be...
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Yeah. There's lots of Julie to go around. Yeah.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06INDISTINCT SPEECH
0:02:06 > 0:02:09OK, that IS my future wife, so...
0:02:11 > 0:02:12CHEERING
0:02:12 > 0:02:14A joke's a joke, but...
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Michael is one of those actors you have to coax out of the trailer.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- He'll wait in there for hours and hours.- This is true.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25He's very difficult, very ornery on set, so to get him out,
0:02:25 > 0:02:27there was really only one song,
0:02:27 > 0:02:28and so I used to get the sound guy
0:02:28 > 0:02:30to play it very loud in the studio as he came in,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32just so he could get his mojo up.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- That's right. - And actually, it was Blurred Lines.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I wonder if you guys... You guys know Blurred Lines?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I don't know what it was about that song or that video
0:02:39 > 0:02:41that got Michael going.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44- Do you want to come back on again to Blurred Lines?- Yeah, let's do it.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45OK, OK. You go back there.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Yeah, all do it. All do it. Yeah. OK.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- OK...- So, we'd be coming out... Come on, Michael! Michael!
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Michael, come on! We've got a shoot. Michael, listen.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59MUSIC: "Blurred Lines"
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- Michael, it's your favourite tune. - Michael, come on.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03RHYTHMIC CLAPPING
0:03:07 > 0:03:09CHEERING
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Very good!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27CHEERING
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Here's the thing.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37Emma, what's the hold that the Spice Girls have over you? Is this real?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Yes, it's real!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41And I just feel like
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I've been talking more about the Spice Girls on this press tour
0:03:44 > 0:03:46than I have about the movie.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- That's because you wept. You wept in Australia.- I know I wept.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- Did you really weep?- I really did. - Which one was talking to you?
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- Mel B.- And was she really talking to you, or was it a message?
0:03:55 > 0:03:59- No, it was a video message on an iPad.- And that made you cry?- Yes!
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- Where you jet lagged?- Yes!
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Also... You don't under...
0:04:03 > 0:04:07- You do understand, because we're in the UK.- Yes.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08I was... I was a fiend.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13I was obsessed with the Spice Girls, and they taught me about girl power.
0:04:13 > 0:04:18- Mm.- And I love them. I think they're fantastic, and I...
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- What's the song?- There are so many, Jamie. There are so many.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- People of the world... - Spice up your life.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- Every boy and every girl... - Spice up your life.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- Hey!- There are so many, and they're so fantastic,
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- and today on the radio, Mel C talked to me over Skype.- Oh, wow!
0:04:34 > 0:04:36So, it's really very exciting.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39OK, now, who would you say is your favourite Spice Girl?
0:04:39 > 0:04:41- Emma Bunton.- She's your favourite? - She's my favourite.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45- Who's next?- Ohhh!
0:04:45 > 0:04:46- Don't do that.- Just a question.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48All of the other four.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53- One gave you a video message and one talked to you on Skype.- Yes.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- You've never met a Spice Girl? - Are you going to do something now?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Have you never met a Spice Girl? - Are you going to do...?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- Have you never met a Spice Girl?- Wait. Hold on.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04I have to mentally prepare myself.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Have you never met a Spice Girl? - Not in the flesh.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- OK. Now, as you know...- Don't!
0:05:10 > 0:05:12As you know...
0:05:12 > 0:05:13As you know, Emma...
0:05:13 > 0:05:15He's really excited.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19It's very rare for more than one Spice Girl to appear together...
0:05:21 > 0:05:25..for any reason at all.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27DRUM ROLL
0:05:28 > 0:05:30So,
0:05:30 > 0:05:32- they're not here. - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:05:40 > 0:05:46Basically, I have always had a complex with the way I walk,
0:05:46 > 0:05:49and I've always been told throughout every, you know,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51point in my life that I've...
0:05:51 > 0:05:54I've not always been told I've got a bad walk,
0:05:54 > 0:05:56but someone's always commented on my walk,
0:05:56 > 0:06:00it's always been a bit like, "Oh, right. That's how you walk?"
0:06:00 > 0:06:03- That's how you walk, OK. - Is that...? Is that you walking?
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- But, honestly, like... - WOMAN: Do your walk!
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- Back off!- We might go there, we might go there. Um...
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Um... But, yeah, so...
0:06:13 > 0:06:16And I remember a mate of mine at school said...
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Cos I've quite... I'm not...
0:06:18 > 0:06:21This won't happen, but I have quite pronounced calf muscles,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24and I always thought it was an hereditary thing,
0:06:24 > 0:06:26but I remember my mate once, we were talking about it...
0:06:26 > 0:06:29We didn't just sit around talking about that all day!
0:06:29 > 0:06:33- "What beautiful calves, Jamie." - "Those are... Oh, amazing!"
0:06:33 > 0:06:38We have great nights, staring at them, drinking. And I said...
0:06:38 > 0:06:40He said, "You know why you have big calves?"
0:06:40 > 0:06:43I said, "I think it's cos my dad does. It's hereditary."
0:06:43 > 0:06:45He said, "No, it's cos you walk on your tiptoes."
0:06:45 > 0:06:47So, I said, "Is that a weird thing?"
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Anyway, a couple of jobs I've done, the first day that we did The Fall
0:06:50 > 0:06:52and I had to walk, the director...
0:06:52 > 0:06:55the producer and writer, Allan Cubitt, came up and said,
0:06:55 > 0:06:57"Um, is that a character thing, or...
0:06:59 > 0:07:01"..or is that your walk?" I was like...
0:07:01 > 0:07:04I could try to clever my way out of it,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06and I thought, "No, I'll just tell him that is how I walk."
0:07:06 > 0:07:09He started working things, he started talking about,
0:07:09 > 0:07:11"Why don't you maybe take longer strides?"
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Um...
0:07:14 > 0:07:17No, honestly. So, and then with...
0:07:17 > 0:07:20My wife and I would walk around where we live in London
0:07:20 > 0:07:25and cos I'm on my tiptoes, I'm quite high, I'm quite bouncy.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29So, my wife said, "Why don't you try leaning back?" Right?
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Honestly. So, I'm literally walking...
0:07:31 > 0:07:34We go out for us and I'd literally... So, I'll show you my...
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- This is my old walk,- This is the old walk. This is the old walk.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39- OK.- I'm so excited. - Don't get THAT excited!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43This is my old walk. I'm so out of sync now.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45I'll do it. This is my old walk.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Right?
0:07:48 > 0:07:52OK. This is my... This is the walk we tried, right, with my wife.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54I'm not...
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- How exciting!- Remember those commercials with Mr Soft?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04APPLAUSE
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Now, I'm sensing this man has had a fascinating year.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11What's your name, sir?
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- Ulle.- Sorry?- It's a Danish name. - Oh, marvellous.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Danish name.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Scandinavia is represented tonight. It's lovely.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Uldur?- Ulle...
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Ole? Ole? Uldur? Ulle...
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- I'm sorry. Ulle?- Ulle.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31Ulle! Ulle! Oh, like Irish for "apple". OK. Ulle.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33What's been the highlight of your year, Ulle?
0:08:33 > 0:08:37- What has been the highlight of my year?- Yeah. Yeah.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- Not much is happening.- No?- No.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Let's go to... Let's go back to Will in the newsroom.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44NEWS STING
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Ulle, Ole, Olah...
0:08:47 > 0:08:49has no memory of 2013.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52CHEERING
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Let me do... Let me do this lady here.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Hello.- Hi.- Hi.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- What's your name?- Kate. - Kate? Lovely.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- And what's been a big event in your year, Kate?- Um...
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I actually got over my phobia of eggs.
0:09:12 > 0:09:13Were you working with a therapist?
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- There was alcohol involved. - So, you got drunk and ate an egg?
0:09:19 > 0:09:20Yep.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22OK, let's go to the newsroom,
0:09:22 > 0:09:25where Steve will report on Kate getting over her fear of eggs.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27NEWS STING
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Young woman named Kate is beautiful and I am getting a divorce.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Whoo! Whoo!
0:09:37 > 0:09:40So, Liam Neeson... Liam Neeson is in A Million Ways To Die In The West.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42So, did you ever do your Taken,
0:09:42 > 0:09:45your version of the Taken phone call for him?
0:09:45 > 0:09:49- Er...- Oh, got to hear this.- Do it. - Come on, man.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- Got to do it.- Our version on Family Guy was Kermit the Frog doing Taken.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Fantastic.- I'm not going to be able to remember the speech.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- AS KERMIT:- I don't have any money.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02That's really neat!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- APPLAUSE - Oh, my God, that's so good!
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Oh, that's so good.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11But what I do have...
0:10:12 > 0:10:14..are a very specific set of skills.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Skills that make me a nightmare...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21..for somebody like you.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26If you don't let the girl go, I will track you down,
0:10:26 > 0:10:29I will find you, and I will kill you.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Whaaaa!
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Very good. Very good.
0:10:33 > 0:10:34CHEERING
0:10:34 > 0:10:36APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:10:36 > 0:10:41- In Operation Snatch that you've... - I haven't seen it.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43- No, no.- Ever.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Ever!
0:10:47 > 0:10:50APPLAUSE
0:10:51 > 0:10:53I'm not going to tell you about it.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57- About Gibraltar.- Yes.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Because I was driving down Baker Street one day
0:11:00 > 0:11:03and a car overtook me and Terry-Thomas flagged my car down
0:11:03 > 0:11:06and said, "I've just had a wonderful idea.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09"Because I'm doing a film about Gibraltar and the Barbary apes."
0:11:11 > 0:11:12AUDIENCE MEMBER TITTERS
0:11:12 > 0:11:14"Would you..." Somebody's guessed already.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19"Would you ring up the director, Robert Day, and go and see him?"
0:11:20 > 0:11:23The theory was that in Gibraltar,
0:11:23 > 0:11:27if there was a sudden drop in the population of Barbary apes,
0:11:27 > 0:11:30the UK would lose control of Gibraltar during the war,
0:11:30 > 0:11:34so they had soldiers playing Barbary apes.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36So I did that, that was my...
0:11:36 > 0:11:37Hold on, wait a minute.
0:11:37 > 0:11:43So during the war, Gibraltar found soldiers to dress up as apes
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- if there weren't enough apes? - That's right.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Why did we need there to look like there were lots of apes?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Because a spiritual theory
0:11:51 > 0:11:56existed that if Gibraltar wasn't peopled by enough Barbary apes...
0:11:56 > 0:11:59I won't take long.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01So someone had to go along with it?
0:12:01 > 0:12:04This was a wind-up, this was a sergeant's wind-up.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06What I like is that classic scene,
0:12:06 > 0:12:08"Dad, what did you do during the war?"
0:12:10 > 0:12:12"I don't want to talk about it, son.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14"I don't want to talk about it."
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- That's amazing.- Yeah.
0:12:16 > 0:12:21There's an urban myth that you are one of these apes
0:12:21 > 0:12:24in Stanley Kubrick's 2001...
0:12:24 > 0:12:27No. Funnily enough, he did ask to see me, after I'd...
0:12:29 > 0:12:33He saw you in Gibraltar and thought, "That's amazing!"
0:12:33 > 0:12:34- He saw me in Gibraltar. - "Who's that ape?"
0:12:34 > 0:12:37"That's not an ape, that's Mr Corbett."
0:12:37 > 0:12:40"That's not an ape, that's Mr Corbett, is it?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43"I like the cut of his jib."
0:12:45 > 0:12:47So you are not one of those?
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- No, I wasn't.- Did you turn it down?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52I turned it down, yes. It got too technical.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54LAUGHTER
0:12:55 > 0:12:58At some acting studio, he could have done it.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Is this all true, what just happened?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04You had to pretend to be...
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- There were people who pretended to be apes in the war.- Yes.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10You did one of those in a film, Stanley Kubrick saw you
0:13:10 > 0:13:12and wanted you to be an ape in 2001...
0:13:12 > 0:13:13Yes.
0:13:13 > 0:13:18Actually, he saw me doing a little spot on Sunday Night At The Palladium
0:13:18 > 0:13:20and he said...
0:13:20 > 0:13:23"He would be ideal for one of my apes."
0:13:23 > 0:13:25LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:27 > 0:13:29He's good! He's still got it.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32He's still got it.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33It's kind of weird it's become so famous,
0:13:33 > 0:13:35the upside down Spider-Man kiss.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- Yeah, yeah. - Presumably, you don't know.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41You don't know, but I remember Sam Raimi giving me a book of kisses.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43It was a little coffee table book you can buy,
0:13:43 > 0:13:46like a little cute book of movie kisses.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49He was like, "Let's try and make this one as epic as these kisses."
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- Oh.- These other famous kisses.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53So I thought, "That's a nice idea. Yeah, right."
0:13:55 > 0:13:56You know what I mean? "We'll see..."
0:13:56 > 0:13:58So, Bear, you're OK to hang upside down, right?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00To hang upside down?
0:14:00 > 0:14:04OK, there's a trapeze...
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Does it come low?
0:14:05 > 0:14:06It does come low.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Are you sure you can do this?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Yeah?- Erm, yeah, I'll give it a go.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13OK, OK...
0:14:13 > 0:14:17So... That looks really high. Can you do that?
0:14:17 > 0:14:19- Yeah, we can get up there. - OK, good luck.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21OK, he's taking the jacket off.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22AUDIENCE: Oooh!
0:14:22 > 0:14:25OK, he is serious.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26OK.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29What did he do then?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31He tucked his shirt in. Oh, look at him go!
0:14:31 > 0:14:35- IN NORTHERN ACCENT:- Ooh, he's like a monkey himself, he's like a monkey!
0:14:35 > 0:14:37You go sit at the end there.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39You go sit at the end.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Oh, Bear!
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Eurgh!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Bear! What is that?!
0:14:51 > 0:14:52What is that?!
0:14:52 > 0:14:54AUDIENCE: Eww!
0:14:54 > 0:14:56It's going up his nose!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Oh, Bear!
0:14:58 > 0:15:00- That's repulsive!- Spit it out.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01What is that? Eww!
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Oh! - AUDIENCE SHRIEKS
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I'm so sorry, I left that in from earlier.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I always like to travel with food on the go.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12I'm ready for my smacker. Come on then, Dawn.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13Let me just clean that...
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Here we go, here we go.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21- There's one more in there, hold on.- No, there isn't!
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Suddenly, it doesn't feel so much fun.
0:15:24 > 0:15:29Oh, Spider-Man, ooh, you're so...hot.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33AUDIENCE WHOOPS AND CHEERS
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Beautiful!
0:15:37 > 0:15:39When I was ten years old...
0:15:39 > 0:15:41This is really stupid, I know, but when I was ten years old,
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I was playing in a football game,
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Rugby League, actually,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49and I tackled this big, fat kid
0:15:49 > 0:15:52right round the ankles. Smack, went down like a sack of shit.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55"Bad luck, fatty. Thanks for coming."
0:15:58 > 0:16:00As I'm getting up from the tackle,
0:16:00 > 0:16:02he fair dinkum just kicks me in the face.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05He wasn't used to being tackled, obviously.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08He turned around and just went boom, straight in the face,
0:16:08 > 0:16:09kicked my tooth out.
0:16:09 > 0:16:14And I just had this strange thing where I never got it fixed.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16It used to drive my poor mother crazy,
0:16:16 > 0:16:20like, "Please, get your tooth fixed," but I was like...
0:16:20 > 0:16:22IN GRAVELLY VOICE: "No, Mum.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23"This is my life.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26"This is something that's happened to me.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30"I wear the scars as badges of honour in my life, Mum."
0:16:31 > 0:16:34It drove her nuts. It took until I was...
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Seriously, and I was working as an actor.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- With..?- I was doing stage work, I was doing TV work,
0:16:41 > 0:16:42with one tooth...
0:16:43 > 0:16:47..and then I worked for a guy called George Ogilvie and he cast me
0:16:47 > 0:16:48as the lead in his movie
0:16:48 > 0:16:50and he sat down talking to me and he said,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53"Tell me the story about the tooth," so I went through it, football game,
0:16:53 > 0:16:56blah-blah, "I'm being authentic," and all that sort of stuff.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59He goes, "Oh, see, here's where we have a problem,
0:16:59 > 0:17:04"because in my movie, the character of Johnny, the one you're playing,
0:17:04 > 0:17:06"he has two front teeth."
0:17:06 > 0:17:08LAUGHTER
0:17:08 > 0:17:12He paid for me to get a tooth himself,
0:17:12 > 0:17:13not from the production budget.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14The funniest thing is,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17and I know you're going to find this quite obvious
0:17:17 > 0:17:18now that I say it to you,
0:17:18 > 0:17:23but I did 100 film auditions and never got a film.
0:17:23 > 0:17:24I got my tooth fixed -
0:17:24 > 0:17:26whoa!
0:17:26 > 0:17:29SPEECH DROWNED OUT BY LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:32 > 0:17:35There's a thing in the New York Daily News.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39They've gone all out on it, ladies and gentlemen, all out.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43- Now they're claiming it all comes from show insiders.- Yeah.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47According to this, and I'm only reading it cos it's here,
0:17:47 > 0:17:49"She's taping her face skin back
0:17:49 > 0:17:52"and hiding the evidence with her fabulous wigs."
0:17:52 > 0:17:54What does that even mean?
0:17:54 > 0:17:58Well, basically, they've seen tape in my make-up room,
0:17:58 > 0:18:01so they assumed that I'm taping my face.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02What is taping your face?
0:18:02 > 0:18:04- I'm going to tell you a secret, hold on!- OK.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09The secret is everyone thinks I've had big boobs for many years
0:18:09 > 0:18:10and they've always said,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13"We thought they were bigger," when they've met me in person.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16I'm like, "No, they're not, because I tape them." Am I taped now? Yes.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18That's my secret.
0:18:18 > 0:18:25Instead of them saying, "Maybe..." I'm taping my face? I'm not that old!
0:18:25 > 0:18:28You don't know how hard it was for four boys not to go like that.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Mustn't, mustn't, mustn't...
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Mustn't, mustn't.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36We've all done the Jennifer Lopez trick,
0:18:36 > 0:18:38we've all done it, we all do it.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41It's like, you know, I don't want to fall out on your show
0:18:41 > 0:18:45and I don't want to embarrass myself, so I taped my boobs.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47OK - that, I understand, just.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51If somebody tapes their face, what do they do?
0:18:51 > 0:18:54I've no idea, cos I've never taped my face.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- Who tapes their face? - To their boobs?!
0:18:57 > 0:19:00LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:19:03 > 0:19:07You'd met George Clooney originally in Venice, was it?
0:19:07 > 0:19:09- Yes.- OK.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12We met in Venice.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15It was a movie in Venice.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17I don't even remember, but...
0:19:19 > 0:19:20..I don't remember much.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25It was the night we had Lost In Translation open in Venice
0:19:25 > 0:19:27and it was a big deal,
0:19:27 > 0:19:29so there's one night and all the Hollywood guys,
0:19:29 > 0:19:32they're all really stiffs, most of them,
0:19:32 > 0:19:33but one night of the year,
0:19:33 > 0:19:37they end up on this one island in Venice, they end up in Venice
0:19:37 > 0:19:40and they all drink a whole lot for some apparent reason. Not George,
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- but these other show business guys... - Not George?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45No, George drinks all the time.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49George drinks regularly and consistently,
0:19:49 > 0:19:53but I don't know, I met George that night and we kind of hit it off
0:19:53 > 0:19:56and then I went back to America and my son said to me,
0:19:56 > 0:19:57"What's this about you
0:19:57 > 0:20:01"and George Clooney pushing people around in wheelchairs in Venice?"
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I said, "You know, you're my son.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06"I would have expected more from you,
0:20:06 > 0:20:09"to believe that kind of a story.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11"Why would you ever think that something like that
0:20:11 > 0:20:13"actually happened?"
0:20:13 > 0:20:17He said, "Because there are pictures."
0:20:17 > 0:20:19LAUGHTER
0:20:22 > 0:20:25This is the age we live in.
0:20:25 > 0:20:30It turned out that George and I were taking women around in wheelchairs
0:20:30 > 0:20:32and trying to dump them into the swimming pool.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34AUDIENCE GROANS
0:20:34 > 0:20:37No, no, no-one died.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41It was a joke, it was a joke. They just got a rinse.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51Tonight at the premiere, there were some relatives
0:20:51 > 0:20:53of the old Monuments Men's family
0:20:53 > 0:20:57and a lady in a wheelchair came for a photograph with everyone
0:20:57 > 0:21:01and she was there, probably in her 90s, and you sat on her knee.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03LAUGHTER
0:21:03 > 0:21:04She was 97.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06She was 97.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09She was 97.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12With respect, I asked Mark to do it first and he wouldn't do it.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16He wouldn't do it and I went and sat on her lap.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19I find that if you look at someone like that, you see the wheelchair.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23When you see someone on their lap, you see a party girl.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25LAUGHTER
0:21:26 > 0:21:29ALL: A 97-year-old party girl.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31She loved every second.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Is it true about you road-testing the posing pouch?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41The posing pouch?
0:21:41 > 0:21:42The...
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Isn't that what they're called?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48- Posing pouch?- You don't call them that in America?
0:21:48 > 0:21:49I don't know what that is!
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Those little things that you just about get things in
0:21:51 > 0:21:53with a string round the back.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- A posing pouch?- The slightest move and everything's out.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59I read that you walked around to make sure
0:21:59 > 0:22:01that it wasn't falling out of the...
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- It was composed.- What I did do, which a lot of us did,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07is you put one of those on and all of a sudden you find your body
0:22:07 > 0:22:09gets a little inverted.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12I had to really loosen up cos this is the guy who lives in this thing
0:22:12 > 0:22:13and has to feel really loose and...
0:22:13 > 0:22:15HE SNIFFS ..with it,
0:22:15 > 0:22:17So I remember going, and I wasn't the only one that did this,
0:22:17 > 0:22:21you go, "I have to walk out there amongst the crew and have small-time,
0:22:21 > 0:22:23"normal conversations like, 'So, how you doing?'
0:22:25 > 0:22:26"'What did you have for lunch?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28"'Hey, did you see the game this weekend?'"
0:22:28 > 0:22:33I go out and try to have some small talk in this thong without flinching.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34It was hard.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36LAUGHTER
0:22:36 > 0:22:39I wasn't, but... AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:22:39 > 0:22:41You've said it now, you've said it.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- OK, so stand up.- Yeah, yeah.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52I'm going to put a little water in my mouth, so I cough the water?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Yes. Now, I'm going to come across this way.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56- NERVOUSLY:- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Boom! GRAHAM GIGGLES NERVOUSLY
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- It'll come to your ear and then you just turn.- Mm-hmm.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05It'll look like I nailed you. Ready?
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Ready?
0:23:10 > 0:23:13On three - one, two, three!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15GRAHAM GRUNTS
0:23:15 > 0:23:17WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:17 > 0:23:18OK, now... That's good.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20OK.
0:23:21 > 0:23:22I didn't spit on anyone?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24No, didn't spit on anyone?
0:23:25 > 0:23:28OK, now we get to watch that back.
0:23:29 > 0:23:35- I guess this is what they do in the movies.- Yes, it is.- So here it is.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:23:38 > 0:23:41LAUGHTER
0:23:42 > 0:23:43That's great!
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Urgh!
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Eww!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I'm still going.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53- Isn't that great? - How much water did I have?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55It doesn't take much.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03LAUGHTER CONTINUES
0:24:09 > 0:24:12I'm still looking, like, "Wow, what a punch."
0:24:13 > 0:24:15You haven't moved, you haven't moved!
0:24:17 > 0:24:19You're like a photograph behind me.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23- Am I still going?- Yeah!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25God!
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- That's funny. - I've got a face like a wind sock!
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Talking to people you work with,
0:24:30 > 0:24:36you are known as the positive force on set, "We can do this."
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Is it true that Emily Blunt did break your spirit?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43- It was a particularly hard day, I will say.- No.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45We were in the dropship.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47- It was a very hard day. - No, she didn't break my spirit.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- But there was that moment when... - Basically, we were in this dropship,
0:24:50 > 0:24:52I don't know if you guys have seen the trailer -
0:24:52 > 0:24:55we're being dropped out of this ship in our exosuits
0:24:55 > 0:24:57and it was a tiny set, they'd made the set really small,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00it was kind of as big as a sardine can and we were all in there,
0:25:00 > 0:25:02it's so hot in there and there's no air in there,
0:25:02 > 0:25:04camera crew are bumping into us
0:25:04 > 0:25:06and we're hanging in the exosuits in harnesses,
0:25:06 > 0:25:10so the entire weight of you and your suit is on your groin,
0:25:10 > 0:25:13people are miserable, hanging like this,
0:25:13 > 0:25:16just waiting for them to shout, "Action!"
0:25:16 > 0:25:19And Tom, that insatiable positivity,
0:25:19 > 0:25:22I can just see it starting to unravel.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26He was pouring with sweat.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30I remember looking at him and he was like, "Guys, please. Please, roll.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33"Please, roll," and I just looked at him and I went,
0:25:33 > 0:25:36"Oh, this sucks," like that,
0:25:36 > 0:25:37and he looked at me and he goes...
0:25:37 > 0:25:38SHE INHALES DEEPLY
0:25:39 > 0:25:41"It's a challenge."
0:25:41 > 0:25:43LAUGHTER
0:25:46 > 0:25:50I thought, "Because you know what, if I start complaining,
0:25:50 > 0:25:52"It's on.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56- "If I start going down, it's on." - And I went, "Tom, it SUCKS."
0:25:56 > 0:25:57And he went, "OK."
0:25:59 > 0:26:04Jonah, what's that... I'm probably thick, but I've never understood
0:26:04 > 0:26:08the thing that Morgan Freeman said to you.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Oh, this was about ten years ago.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15I did a film with Morgan Freeman, a really small film,
0:26:15 > 0:26:18and the first ten pages or ten minutes of the film
0:26:18 > 0:26:21are us two just driving together in a car
0:26:21 > 0:26:24and talking and it took three days to shoot
0:26:24 > 0:26:28and he didn't talk to me the entire time.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Like, in between takes, right?
0:26:30 > 0:26:32- Cos he had so much dialogue, I learned later, right?- OK.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34So in between, we wouldn't really chat,
0:26:34 > 0:26:37but we were in the car together for three days.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Then, at the end of the third day,
0:26:39 > 0:26:41he just turns to me and he goes,
0:26:41 > 0:26:46"Jonah, Jonah, bobona, banana-fana, fa-fona,
0:26:46 > 0:26:47"Me, mah, momona,
0:26:47 > 0:26:49"Jonah."
0:26:49 > 0:26:52- LAUGHTER - That's it?- That's it.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56I was super uncomfortable, I didn't know what to say back.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58It was one of the more weird moments of my life.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02I didn't know what to say, so I just said, "Thank you."
0:27:04 > 0:27:07And then he was quiet again and then he said,
0:27:07 > 0:27:09"Do me."
0:27:09 > 0:27:11LAUGHTER I said, "What?!"
0:27:11 > 0:27:14He was like, "Do my name."
0:27:14 > 0:27:18I was like, "Do your name?", and he was like, "Yeah, do my name",
0:27:18 > 0:27:19and I was like,
0:27:19 > 0:27:23"Morgan, Morgan, bo-borgan, banana-fan, fa-forgan,
0:27:23 > 0:27:25"Me-my-mo-morgan,
0:27:25 > 0:27:26"Morgan."
0:27:27 > 0:27:30He went, "All right," and then we never spoke again.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33APPLAUSE
0:27:38 > 0:27:42- Seth, you must be aware of this beautiful art book.- Oh, no! Yeah.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45- This is gorgeous. - You have the actual book? Oh, my God!
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Did you have to give permission for this?
0:27:51 > 0:27:53No, I wish I had been asked, honestly.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56No, I never gave permission.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59It's an artist called Christopher Schulz, is his name.
0:27:59 > 0:28:04- He's legit?- He's actually like a legitimate artist.- I can't show that.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06There aren't many... Oh, I can't show that.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09- We can see this.- You can't show many of them.- No, we really can't.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12What's his name? Christopher Schulz, he is an actual artist.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15I've never met him in my life, but just so you know, yeah.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18And I'm guessing your planning never going to.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21He draws me quite beautifully, so I'm kind of curious.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23So Christopher Schulz shuts his eyes and thinks,
0:28:23 > 0:28:25"How will I see Seth Rogen?"
0:28:25 > 0:28:26Like that.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29AUDIENCE HOWL
0:28:30 > 0:28:32It's a bit...
0:28:34 > 0:28:37It's a good mattress, you can see how deep I am in it.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Five inches of sinking in that mattress.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46I love that, men of a certain age, "Is that memory foam?"
0:28:46 > 0:28:49"That mattress, how do you do that?"
0:28:49 > 0:28:50I think we can show this.
0:28:50 > 0:28:53This is just like following a big dog down the street.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55- Oh, no.- There's...
0:28:55 > 0:28:57AUDIENCE ROARS
0:28:58 > 0:28:59Wow.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01It's nuts!
0:29:01 > 0:29:02Literally!
0:29:04 > 0:29:06APPLAUSE
0:29:08 > 0:29:10I just want to refer back to a television appearance
0:29:10 > 0:29:12that Hugh Bonneville made a couple of weeks ago.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14He was on a programme called Top Gear.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17- Oh, I love that show.- You were on Top Gear?- He was on Top Gear.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20- Driving.- That's the greatest show. - Do you have a clip from Top Gear?
0:29:20 > 0:29:22We don't have a clip but we do have a bizarre...
0:29:22 > 0:29:25His appearance caused quite the reaction.
0:29:25 > 0:29:26Here he is on Top Gear.
0:29:26 > 0:29:30Now, a lot of people were focused on the jumper.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32LAUGHTER
0:29:32 > 0:29:34A lot of people were focused on the jumper
0:29:34 > 0:29:38but even more people were concerned as to why...
0:29:38 > 0:29:41Why were you wearing lipstick on Top Gear?
0:29:48 > 0:29:52We haven't doctored that picture.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54I haven't got my glasses on, I can't see it.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Trust me, you're wearing lipstick, you're wearing lipstick.
0:29:57 > 0:29:58There you go.
0:29:58 > 0:30:02I am not wearing lipstick! I've never worn lipstick in my life.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04Well, it does look like you're wearing lipstick.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06That was a very cold day.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11While I'm intrigued, I'm here to say that I was not wearing lipstick.
0:30:11 > 0:30:12Hang on, um-m-m...
0:30:12 > 0:30:15It was flipping cold because on Top Gear they say,
0:30:15 > 0:30:16"Bring two sets of clothes.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18"You'll be boiling hot in the car
0:30:18 > 0:30:20"and you're going to be freezing cold in the studio."
0:30:20 > 0:30:22I thought, "Boiling hot in the car?
0:30:22 > 0:30:24"It's a cold day in wherever we are, February.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26"It's not going to be like that at all."
0:30:26 > 0:30:29I was roasting, cos you're exerting so much adrenaline and sweat
0:30:29 > 0:30:32because you're in a, well, 1.6 litre car...
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Your lips are turning a different colour!
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Because of you!
0:30:37 > 0:30:40Then you're in this studio, this aircraft hangar,
0:30:40 > 0:30:41where apparently last summer...
0:30:41 > 0:30:44It's either incredibly hot or it's freezing this time of year,
0:30:44 > 0:30:46and last year, when Patrick Stewart was on...
0:30:46 > 0:30:48My lips are going red, aren't they?
0:30:51 > 0:30:55They do! They just go red on TV! That's really weird!
0:30:57 > 0:30:58When Patrick Stewart...
0:31:00 > 0:31:03I am this table, I am this table.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06It's an odd look for a man, but you carry it off.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08So, so...
0:31:09 > 0:31:12I'm like what's-her-name's pout the other week.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16Yeah, so last year, apparently about four or five people...
0:31:16 > 0:31:17Stop giggling.
0:31:17 > 0:31:18About four or five people fainted
0:31:18 > 0:31:21while Patrick Stewart was doing his thing because it was so hot
0:31:21 > 0:31:23and I thought it's going to be very chilly,
0:31:23 > 0:31:25so my favourite woolly jumper,
0:31:25 > 0:31:27but not my red lippy, which I'd left at home.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33He just said, "My lips... my favourite woolly jumper."
0:31:33 > 0:31:34Come on!
0:31:34 > 0:31:37How many women here are going to faint just hearing him say,
0:31:37 > 0:31:38"My favourite woolly jumper"?
0:31:40 > 0:31:43All right, how many men are going to faint?
0:31:43 > 0:31:45"My favourite woolly jumper and my lippy."
0:31:45 > 0:31:47LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:31:47 > 0:31:49Lippy? What does that mean in American?
0:31:49 > 0:31:51WHIMPERING: I don't know.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:31:58 > 0:32:01A lady from Colombia, where's the lady from Colombia? There you are.
0:32:01 > 0:32:02Stand up too, hi.
0:32:02 > 0:32:03- What's your name?- Patricia.
0:32:03 > 0:32:07- IN SPANISH PRONUNCIATION: Patricia. - Patricia, OK.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09So do you want to...
0:32:09 > 0:32:12- Shall we hear it? What language is this going to be?- Spanish, yes.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14Who can translate that?
0:32:14 > 0:32:16- Is it quick?- I could make it quick.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19Tell it quickly in Spanish and then tell it again in English.
0:32:19 > 0:32:20She speaks English!
0:32:20 > 0:32:23LAUGHTER
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Tell it in Spanish quickly.
0:32:25 > 0:32:27SHE SPEAKS SPANISH
0:32:29 > 0:32:30Two m... Wh...
0:32:32 > 0:32:34SHE CONTINUES IN SPANISH
0:32:41 > 0:32:43Quite good in Spanish, isn't it?
0:32:53 > 0:32:56LAUGHTER
0:33:04 > 0:33:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:33:07 > 0:33:09Do you..?
0:33:10 > 0:33:14I got the gist of it, but I don't know if I'm going to do it justice.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17A monkey with huge boobs...
0:33:17 > 0:33:19LAUGHTER
0:33:20 > 0:33:23- OK, tell us in English.- OK, two friends meet after a long time.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25They're all school friends and they talk about the past
0:33:25 > 0:33:27and, "Have you seen this?", "Have you seen someone?"
0:33:27 > 0:33:31He said, "Oh, yes, funnily enough, I saw Maria last week."
0:33:31 > 0:33:34"Who is Maria?" "You remember Maria?
0:33:34 > 0:33:36"She was very slim, very flat-chested, you remember?
0:33:36 > 0:33:40"Not very pretty." "Oh, yes, I remember her."
0:33:40 > 0:33:43"Well, I saw her and she is looking like this."
0:33:43 > 0:33:46"Wow, she had breast enlargement?"
0:33:46 > 0:33:48"No, she's got terrible arthritis."
0:33:48 > 0:33:50LAUGHTER
0:33:50 > 0:33:52It's a good joke!
0:33:52 > 0:33:54Very good, OK.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58..because they thought she was saying, "She's like this",
0:33:58 > 0:33:59she's got huge breasts,
0:33:59 > 0:34:02but they're going, "No, she's got terrible arthritis."
0:34:05 > 0:34:07I'll translate the English.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12OK, Keira Knightley, what would be worse for you?
0:34:12 > 0:34:15Having to sing in front of a large audience,
0:34:15 > 0:34:17or do your sex faces?
0:34:17 > 0:34:19LAUGHTER
0:34:19 > 0:34:22Dangerous Method, you had to do a lot of sex faces.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25I had to do a lot of sex faces. I had to do a lot of weird sex faces.
0:34:25 > 0:34:29Oh, no, that's not a weird sex face, but she was a bit of weird character.
0:34:29 > 0:34:31- No, that's not it. - No, it was directed by...
0:34:31 > 0:34:33LAUGHTER
0:34:36 > 0:34:37WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:37 > 0:34:40- I liked that movie.- You promised you wouldn't tell anyone.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Uh, yeah,
0:34:44 > 0:34:49I had to go on Skype with David Cronenberg
0:34:49 > 0:34:53so that he could see what my planned weird sex faces were.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55That's... That's...
0:34:55 > 0:34:58It's awful in every level, because I'd never met him before.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01To say, "Hello, nice to meet you," then all of a sudden have to go,
0:35:01 > 0:35:03"So, hey, what are your sex faces?"
0:35:03 > 0:35:05which I'd been practising in the mirror just before,
0:35:05 > 0:35:06which is just a weird thing to do,
0:35:06 > 0:35:11and I went on and they were meant to be horrible sex faces,
0:35:11 > 0:35:15so they were horrible, but Skype froze
0:35:15 > 0:35:20on a weird, horrible sex face, so I'm meeting with this big director,
0:35:20 > 0:35:26who I think is amazing, was suddenly just this kind of "Argh!" face.
0:35:26 > 0:35:32- It was great.- But you do seem to have bad luck...- Bad sex faces?- No, no!
0:35:32 > 0:35:34No, Keira, no. I'm not saying that.
0:35:34 > 0:35:38Did you mean bad-sex faces, or bad sex faces?
0:35:40 > 0:35:43- They're two very different things. - Two very different things.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45A bad-sex face is just...
0:35:49 > 0:35:50Just a bit bored, really.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01In terms of acting techniques, Matt,
0:36:01 > 0:36:05you must remember those famous episodes of Friends
0:36:05 > 0:36:09where Joey would explain his acting techniques.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12- Oh, yeah.- The Joey acting classes and stuff.- "Smell the fart" acting.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14Yeah!
0:36:14 > 0:36:18Was that Joey or was that you?
0:36:18 > 0:36:19No, that was the writing staff.
0:36:19 > 0:36:23We had some great writers, but that was really funny.
0:36:23 > 0:36:25So talk us through "smell the fart".
0:36:25 > 0:36:29"Smell the fart" acting was when he was on Days Of Our Lives...
0:36:29 > 0:36:30I can help you out with this.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35When you forget your line, you kind of go...
0:36:38 > 0:36:41LAUGHTER
0:36:41 > 0:36:46- And then you continue and you remember.- I was captivated.
0:36:46 > 0:36:47It's very similar to...
0:36:51 > 0:36:53Yeah, and you can do it more subtle too, just...
0:36:56 > 0:37:01And then we did another one where Joey was teaching an acting class
0:37:01 > 0:37:02for soap operas.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07If you have to cry, you cut a hole in your pocket
0:37:07 > 0:37:10and you take tweezers and you just start pulling.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14Good idea. I've pinched myself a few times, yeah.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16The problem is I like it.
0:37:16 > 0:37:17LAUGHTER
0:37:17 > 0:37:20If you have to be perplexed,
0:37:20 > 0:37:22you just think of some long division.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27LAUGHTER
0:37:30 > 0:37:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It was a lot of fun.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37But here's the thing - Jamie, great musician,
0:37:37 > 0:37:41you must have used your music at some time to woo a woman.
0:37:41 > 0:37:45I use whatever I can...
0:37:45 > 0:37:47LAUGHTER
0:37:47 > 0:37:49I use whatever I got, baby.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51- Know what I'm saying?- I have to say,
0:37:51 > 0:37:53this is one of my favourite songs.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55This is Storm, listen to how hot this is.
0:37:55 > 0:37:59# Lights out like a power outage,
0:37:59 > 0:38:03# Cos of the lightning in your bedspring showers
0:38:03 > 0:38:07# I can feel the mist every time we kissed... #
0:38:07 > 0:38:10There's almost a Spider-Man link,
0:38:10 > 0:38:13cos it starts off with "Lights out like a power outage."
0:38:13 > 0:38:16# Lights out like a power outage... #
0:38:16 > 0:38:18- Oh! - AUDIENCE ROARS
0:38:18 > 0:38:21SINGING DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE
0:38:21 > 0:38:25# I could feel the mist every time we kissed
0:38:25 > 0:38:29# Just didn't know a downpour like this
0:38:29 > 0:38:33# There's a flash flood warning
0:38:33 > 0:38:36# Will it rain in the morning?
0:38:36 > 0:38:39# There'll be puddles in the bed... #
0:38:39 > 0:38:40I don't want to get too...
0:38:40 > 0:38:42AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:38:44 > 0:38:46No, no, no, let me finish.
0:38:46 > 0:38:47There are questions to be asked.
0:38:47 > 0:38:48The words were...
0:38:48 > 0:38:50# There'll be puddles in the bed
0:38:50 > 0:38:53# The weatherman said... #
0:38:53 > 0:38:56Yeah, but why were there puddles in the bed?
0:38:56 > 0:38:57LAUGHTER
0:38:57 > 0:38:58Was she an older lady?
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Oh!
0:39:03 > 0:39:05Listen, I've got the lyrics.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08"Girl, the weatherman said it's cloudy skies,
0:39:08 > 0:39:10"Right there between your thighs."
0:39:10 > 0:39:11LAUGHTER
0:39:13 > 0:39:16"I want it soaking wet all over the bed."
0:39:18 > 0:39:21- Do you sing these lyrics? - He wrote them!
0:39:21 > 0:39:22Hey, man...
0:39:25 > 0:39:26APPLAUSE
0:39:29 > 0:39:31Hey, it sounds much better when you sing 'em.
0:39:34 > 0:39:35You just don't read the lyrics.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40Then they sound a little crazy.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42Cameron has also been in the papers recently,
0:39:42 > 0:39:47feeling very strongly that all women should maintain some pubic hair.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50LAUGHTER
0:39:52 > 0:39:55- Cameron feels very strongly about this.- No, no, no, no.
0:39:55 > 0:40:00- It's not exactly that.- You say "maintain"...- In a jar, or..?
0:40:02 > 0:40:05- Thank you!- That would be "retain".
0:40:06 > 0:40:07To the allotment.
0:40:07 > 0:40:12If you have an aspect of husbandry about it, Richard, it would be.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15Maintain, take it out every now and then, comb it.
0:40:16 > 0:40:20- Post it back in.- In terms of my comfort zone, I'm far away from it.
0:40:20 > 0:40:24- LAUGHTER - I've left the zone of safety.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27I'm in the wilderness, I don't know what's happening.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29See the forest through the trees.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31That is an inappropriate metaphor, given...
0:40:34 > 0:40:37..given what we're talking about.
0:40:37 > 0:40:38Clearly.
0:40:38 > 0:40:41- OK, can I just clear something up really quick?- Yes, please do.
0:40:41 > 0:40:45- If you would.- OK, did you ever ask a question like, "Why are you there?
0:40:45 > 0:40:46"Why are you there?
0:40:46 > 0:40:49"Why are you there?"
0:40:49 > 0:40:52There is a purpose for it.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55LAUGHTER
0:40:55 > 0:40:57APPLAUSE
0:40:59 > 0:41:02- I want to have a direct communication...- Why ARE you there?
0:41:02 > 0:41:04Why are you there?
0:41:06 > 0:41:08I just thought a slightly louder voice might get an answer.
0:41:10 > 0:41:14- Have you guys seen the fan art?- No.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16OK, this is nice.
0:41:17 > 0:41:18- It's lovely.- Look at them!
0:41:18 > 0:41:21- That's terrible. - They are such good pals.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24- Look at you, Michael!- I know!
0:41:26 > 0:41:29What if they're at the craft services during filming,
0:41:29 > 0:41:31one of them gets hungry?
0:41:31 > 0:41:33Why, you could share a cherry.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36Nice. Different artist, though.
0:41:36 > 0:41:38You've never made me cupcakes.
0:41:40 > 0:41:42What are you wearing, James?
0:41:42 > 0:41:43Show me again.
0:41:43 > 0:41:44Am I wearing dungarees?!
0:41:46 > 0:41:49You did the baking and I'm feeding it to you.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52Why am I in dungarees? Have I've been in the workshop?
0:41:52 > 0:41:53It could be an apron.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56You did the baking and I'm feeding you.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59That's lovely. You've worked hard all afternoon, James.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01- You deserve a treat. - So I'm taking your cherry?
0:42:01 > 0:42:03Yes.
0:42:03 > 0:42:04LAUGHTER
0:42:04 > 0:42:06Here you are baking, it's rather beautiful.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11Now, for some reason...
0:42:11 > 0:42:14Wait a minute, stop everything for a minute, mate.
0:42:16 > 0:42:19Whoever's creating this artwork... I applaud your artistry, by the way.
0:42:19 > 0:42:23It's beautiful work. ..but if anybody's giving...
0:42:23 > 0:42:26LAUGHTER AND WHOOPING
0:42:31 > 0:42:34- Hello, nice lady.- Hello. - What's your name?- Jessica.- Jessica.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36Can you hear Jessica?
0:42:36 > 0:42:38- Pardon?- I'm not talking...
0:42:38 > 0:42:39LAUGHTER
0:42:39 > 0:42:42- She's so sweet and she's French. - She's adorable.
0:42:42 > 0:42:43I don't think she's French.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45Didn't she say, like, "Par-don?"
0:42:46 > 0:42:48She just said, "Pardon". She's posh.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53AUDIENCE ROARS
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Where's the chair? Put me in it.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Do you want a go? You want a go?
0:42:57 > 0:43:00OK, can you have a go in the chair?
0:43:00 > 0:43:01OK, go, you, go.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05- Where's the chair? - Follow that man there.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09OK, but hurry - we've got homes to go to.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15By the way, this is the best time I've ever had on a talk show.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17Oh, bless you.
0:43:17 > 0:43:18AUDIENCE WHOOPS AND CHEERS
0:43:18 > 0:43:20That's true.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22- Come and see us again.- That is true.
0:43:24 > 0:43:25It's good.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27I think it's the champagne, not the host.
0:43:29 > 0:43:34- OK, who's up next?- Hi.- Hi. - I'm Hugh, I'm from West Sussex.
0:43:34 > 0:43:35Hi, Hugh!
0:43:35 > 0:43:38Hi, I'd just like to say that I think Matt Damon
0:43:38 > 0:43:40is really amazing in the fourth Bourne...
0:43:41 > 0:43:42Way!
0:43:44 > 0:43:45He's running back!
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Hugh Bonneville, everybody!
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Hugh Bonneville.
0:43:51 > 0:43:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:54 > 0:43:55All right, let's flip him!
0:43:57 > 0:43:59Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
0:44:11 > 0:44:15AUDIENCE ROARS AND APPLAUDS
0:44:15 > 0:44:18- PALOMA:- I'm honoured, I really am.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21LAUGHTER
0:44:23 > 0:44:25AUDIENCE WHOOPS