0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06My name is Maximus Grahamus Nortonicus, are you not entertained?
0:00:06 > 0:00:09- AUDIENCE: No.- Oh, all right, in that case,
0:00:09 > 0:00:11send in the bloodthirsty, ferocious lion.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15AUDIENCE: Aww!
0:00:15 > 0:00:19Let's start the show!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38APPLAUSE
0:00:38 > 0:00:40CAT SCREECHES
0:00:46 > 0:00:51Good evening. Don't worry, don't worry, Mitzi is fine. There she is.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57We don't need any other guests, we could just interview that cat.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Oh, adorable!
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Hey, welcome back, everyone, to a brand-new series.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03We've got a great show to kick us off. Yes!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05He's the Oscar-winning star of Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind,
0:01:05 > 0:01:08and the new biblical epic, Noah. Russell Crowe is here!
0:01:08 > 0:01:12APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:01:12 > 0:01:15From Charlie's Angels, Shrek and Bad Teacher,
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Cameron Diaz is on the show!
0:01:17 > 0:01:20APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:01:20 > 0:01:23King of the geeks from hit sitcom The IT Crowd,
0:01:23 > 0:01:26actor and director Richard Ayoade is here!
0:01:26 > 0:01:29APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:01:29 > 0:01:32And be still my beating heart, pop legend and the star of The Voice,
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Kylie Minogue is on our show.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Kylie! Kylie!
0:01:43 > 0:01:47Now, this is interesting, I do believe that tonight
0:01:47 > 0:01:50is the first time Kylie and Russell Crowe
0:01:50 > 0:01:52have appeared on television together
0:01:52 > 0:01:56since they both appeared on Neighbours.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59That was quite a long time ago.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Now, I'm going to show them a clip of the two of them
0:02:01 > 0:02:03doing their marvellous acting in Neighbours.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07But for now, shall we have a sneak preview of what Russell looked like
0:02:07 > 0:02:09when he was in Neighbours? Yeah?
0:02:09 > 0:02:13LAUGHTER
0:02:13 > 0:02:16"I will have revenge for this hair style in this life or the next."
0:02:18 > 0:02:21And the guyliner - we thought that was a new thing.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23No, Australia had it years ago.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26If you want a reminder of how Kylie looked back then,
0:02:26 > 0:02:29then I wouldn't go to this waxworks in Norfolk.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32LAUGHTER
0:02:37 > 0:02:39She looks like her own mother!
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Tonight, I am talking to Russell Crowe about his new film,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Noah. It's the Old Testament story of Noah and his ark,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51where only two of each kind of animal could get on.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54With dogs, dogs are very clever.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58I bet you some dogs could have sneaked onto that ark in disguise.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Yeah, I'm sure they could.
0:03:03 > 0:03:08"Queen will be along in a minute. Just checking out the hive."
0:03:08 > 0:03:10I love this one. Look at this.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18"Don't mind me."
0:03:20 > 0:03:22And this is my favourite.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27"I'll just go and stand with the other elephants."
0:03:27 > 0:03:30I'm going to be chatting to Cameron Diaz
0:03:30 > 0:03:35all about affairs of the heart. Now, her new film is The Other Woman.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39And it's all about a man dating three women at once.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Three at once! I know.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44I'm not saying that is excessive.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47But here's the character in the film before dating three women.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Yeah. And here he is afterwards.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53LAUGHTER
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Beautiful. That's all to come.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Plus more of your stories in the red chair. Let's get some guests on.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04I'm in with the IT Crowd, it's Richard Ayoade.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08CHEERING
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Good to see you. Have a seat.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14There's something about this guest, it's Cameron Diaz!
0:04:14 > 0:04:16CHEERING
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Wowser! Wowser! Hello, baby.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Come in, come in.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25By God, it's Russell Crowe!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28CHEERING
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Hello, sir.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Really good to see you. Really nice to meet you. Have a seat.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37And I'm so lucky, lucky, lucky, it's Kylie Minogue!
0:04:37 > 0:04:42CHEERING
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Thank you so much for being here.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Sit down, sit down.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51Shove up, everyone. Shove up, everyone.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Very good.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- Lovely to see you all. - KYLIE: You too.- You all well?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57That's a very shiny, glamorous couch. I like it a lot.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Well, it drops off towards the end.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02No, you stop that now.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Your booker made three good choices.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- And then got tired.- Stop it.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I've been looking forward to having you on the show.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- You've never been here before.- I've not, no. And let's find out why.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Now, I mentioned in the monologue, Russell and Kylie back together
0:05:19 > 0:05:21on television. Have you appeared on television
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- since the Neighbours days?- Have we?
0:05:23 > 0:05:28- We might have done a chat show.- Done a few Moroccan restaurants together.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31- Yeah, we have.- We have.- Hello!
0:05:31 > 0:05:35She brought her whole crew of dancers once to a restaurant.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- It was very distracting. - I bet it was.- A man like me...
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- Yeah, that was like a gift. - I couldn't eat.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Have we ever done a TV thing? No.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46This is a first.
0:05:46 > 0:05:491987, ladies and gentleman,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Russell and Kylie were on Ramsay Street together.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56- Cameron, are we aware of what Neighbours is?- Yeah.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59LAUGHTER
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Let's have a quiz!
0:06:01 > 0:06:04- No, no, I've heard of it, yeah. - You watch Neighbours, don't you?
0:06:04 > 0:06:07I mean, this is a rare break for me.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15I basically have to schedule the time off.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- Do you remember this time in Neighbours?- Yeah!
0:06:20 > 0:06:21I certainly do.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25- You just rewatched that season, right?- This was the golden time.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28This was the golden era of Neighbours.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31This is after the Des and Daphne era. Aww!
0:06:31 > 0:06:33AUDIENCE: Aww!
0:06:33 > 0:06:39- You know Des and Daphne! - Des and Daphne?- Graham!
0:06:39 > 0:06:41I had a job!
0:06:41 > 0:06:44A lot of them had jobs!
0:06:44 > 0:06:48Anyway, here you are, it needs no introduction.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50It's just marvellous acting in Neighbours. Here we go.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Tell me this is your handwriting.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57"BBM." Should stand for Big Mouth Brenda.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59So, you admit it was you.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Yeah, it was me. You had it coming to you, pal.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03When Paul found out you were trying to swindle Mum,
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- he was calling for the cops. I should have let him.- Yeah.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08And this time you could be charged for libel.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Getting your little sister to do your talking, are you?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Another crack like that, mate, and I'll flatten you.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Yeah? You got lucky last time. - This is not the place.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Your luck just ran out.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Charlene, stay out of it!
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Henry!
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Henry!
0:07:42 > 0:07:43Not here, mate!
0:07:43 > 0:07:46APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- Very good!- That was dramatic! - I know!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54I was so scared as to what was going to happen
0:07:54 > 0:07:58to his white jacket on the grass!
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- How do you guys feel after that? How are you feeling?- Slightly nauseous.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07I'm feeling like a scrunch dry is going to come back.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Great hair acting.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Because you were in it for so long, do you remember that?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15To be honest, not really. No, do you?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Here's the thing, every time they do the Neighbours 20th, 30th,
0:08:18 > 0:08:21they keep putting my name at the top.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25I was on that set for three days and one morning.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27She was there for what, 52 years?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29LAUGHTER
0:08:29 > 0:08:32It's really unfair, why do you keep associating me with this show?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35It was a wage. I was young. I needed the money.
0:08:35 > 0:08:40Kylie, when Russell hit it big,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42did you remember, did you go,
0:08:42 > 0:08:44"Oh, that guy, I remember him."
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Well, a lot of people who have made it around the world,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50it's like a rite of passage.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53So many people have gone through Neighbours or Home and Away,
0:08:53 > 0:08:55or one of the soaps in Australia.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59I mean, that's the beginnings of Gladiator right there.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01That was some oomph!
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- The punch was really good. - The punch was good.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06You must have thought, "That was rather good."
0:09:06 > 0:09:08I don't look at it like that at all.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11One thing that does make me remember, though, is at the time,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I only had one front tooth.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16When I was ten years old - this is really stupid, I know -
0:09:16 > 0:09:20but when I was ten, I was playing in a football game,
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Rugby League, actually.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26And I tackled this big, fat kid, right around the ankles.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Smack - went down like a sack of shit.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31"Bad luck, fatty. Thanks for coming."
0:09:34 > 0:09:36As I'm getting up from the tackle
0:09:36 > 0:09:39he, fair dinkum, just kicks me in the face.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41He wasn't used to being tackled, obviously.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43He just turned around and just went boom!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Straight in the face. Kicked my tooth out.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50And I just had this, like, strange thing where I never got it fixed.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53It used to drive my poor mother crazy.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55"Please get your tooth fixed."
0:09:55 > 0:09:59But I was like, "No, Mum, this is my life.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02"This is something that's happened to me.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06"I wear the scars as badges of honour in my life, Mum."
0:10:06 > 0:10:09She's like, you know, it drove her nuts.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11It took until I was seriously, right,
0:10:11 > 0:10:14I was working as an actor, right...
0:10:14 > 0:10:19- With one tooth?- I was doing stage work, TV work, with one tooth.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21And then I worked for a guy called George Ogilvy
0:10:21 > 0:10:24and he cast me as the lead in his movie.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26He was talking to me and said he,
0:10:26 > 0:10:29"So, tell me the story about the tooth." So I went through
0:10:29 > 0:10:32the football game, blah, blah, blah, I'm being authentic and he goes,
0:10:32 > 0:10:35"Oh, see, we have a problem.
0:10:35 > 0:10:40"Because in my movie, the character of Johnny, the one you're playing,
0:10:40 > 0:10:42"he has two front teeth."
0:10:44 > 0:10:48So he paid for me to get a tooth himself.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49Not from the production budget.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52The funniest thing is, I know you're going to find this quite obvious
0:10:52 > 0:10:54now that I say it to you,
0:10:54 > 0:10:58but I did 100 film auditions and never got a film.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I got my tooth fixed...
0:11:01 > 0:11:02Whoa!
0:11:02 > 0:11:05LAUGHTER
0:11:05 > 0:11:08APPLAUSE
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Listen, we've gone from Neighbours, all the way to now.
0:11:11 > 0:11:17Noah, number one movie at the US box office. Congratulations.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23It opens in the UK this very night.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27People are watching it as we speak. I watched it, I really enjoyed it.
0:11:27 > 0:11:33It is what it is, it's a proper epic retelling of the story of Noah.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36And I suppose I didn't know what to expect in that,
0:11:36 > 0:11:39cos I had heard there was controversy and blah, blah, blah.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Why is there controversy? You've just told the story.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Yeah, a lot of that controversy is people who took it upon themselves
0:11:46 > 0:11:49- to have an opinion without seeing the movie.- OK.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52I find that kind of stupefying, really,
0:11:52 > 0:11:54that you put a stamp on something like,
0:11:54 > 0:11:58"In my opinion, they could do this with the film."
0:11:58 > 0:11:59So, it seems strange.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02But now that the film has actually come out and people are seeing it,
0:12:02 > 0:12:05- it's balancing up again. - Cos it's a dark story.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09Well, you see, the immediate thing that comes to mind with Noah, is not
0:12:09 > 0:12:12actually biblical stories, it's the Golden Circle children's book
0:12:12 > 0:12:14you got read when you were six or seven.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18And Noah is a benevolent man who looks after the animals.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Oh, he's lovely, Noah.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23But the thing is, in reality,
0:12:23 > 0:12:25he's the man who stood by
0:12:25 > 0:12:27while the entire population of the planet perished.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- So there's going to be a bit of steel to a fellow like Noah.- Yeah.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36You got this gigantic, epic story, this apocalyptic world.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39But Darren Aronofsky has managed to find the family drama
0:12:39 > 0:12:42at the centre of that huge story.
0:12:42 > 0:12:47What it boils down to is, "Dad is a little obsessive".
0:12:47 > 0:12:50He's single-mindedly pursuing a task.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54And the fallout on his loved ones and immediate family is something
0:12:54 > 0:12:55that he hasn't quite noticed yet.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Let's remind ourselves of the story.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00This is you as Noah defending the ark
0:13:00 > 0:13:03as the heavens literally start to open.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06SHOUTING
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Protect your mother. Protect them all.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18GRUNTING
0:13:20 > 0:13:23GRUNTING
0:13:23 > 0:13:25SHOUTING
0:13:55 > 0:13:58APPLAUSE
0:13:58 > 0:13:59Wow! It is epic!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01It really is.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Now, listen, it is a very famous sofa,
0:14:07 > 0:14:10and with fame comes the ultimate accolade - a waxwork.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Kylie, you've been in Madame Tussauds how many times?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Maybe five different ones, but they have just changed it again.
0:14:17 > 0:14:22This isn't the new one, this is the last one, I think.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25KYLIE: That was, like, second to last.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27They had to replace bits of it
0:14:27 > 0:14:30because so many members of the public were doing this.
0:14:30 > 0:14:31KYLIE: Oh!
0:14:34 > 0:14:37It had about three bums.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39The wax wore down!
0:14:41 > 0:14:45- Are you standing now? - I'm sat down now!
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- I'm safe, I am actually on my bottom.- Very good!
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Cameron, have you seen your waxwork?
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- I think I have. The Charlie's Angels one?- Yeah.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- It's really piss-poor.- It's...
0:14:58 > 0:15:01How should I say? What's the word I was using before?
0:15:01 > 0:15:07- It is an approximation... - Yes.- ..of a person!
0:15:07 > 0:15:10This is Cameron Diaz, is this the Hollywood...?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12I'm... I think...
0:15:12 > 0:15:15This is not of Madame Tussauds' standard.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18LAUGHTER
0:15:22 > 0:15:25It could sort of be Drew Barrymore,
0:15:25 > 0:15:28but that is nothing... There's not even a passing resemblance!
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Not even a passing resemblance!
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- They could at least get the hair good!- Yeah, something.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37- Is it true, Russell, that you don't like waxworks?- I hate them.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41- They're creepy.- Absolutely. They give me the...shits.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Any time that anyone puts one up,
0:15:44 > 0:15:46we hassle them for years,
0:15:46 > 0:15:50we chase them down, we make them melt it,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53melt that lumpy thing!
0:15:53 > 0:15:56So this one won't last for long, then?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58That's ten years ago. We pursued those people
0:15:58 > 0:16:01and chopped off his head.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Look how shit that is!
0:16:03 > 0:16:07That is absolutely ridiculous!
0:16:07 > 0:16:10APPLAUSE
0:16:10 > 0:16:13I just think it is such a weird thing. I have no desire...
0:16:13 > 0:16:17Madame Tussauds send you a letter, I just, "No thanks, not interested."
0:16:17 > 0:16:21Funnily enough, we were ringing round wax museums in Australia
0:16:21 > 0:16:24to see if there was one of you there to show a picture of it,
0:16:24 > 0:16:29and one of them said, "No, we don't have a waxwork of Russell Crowe,
0:16:29 > 0:16:32"but we have a letter." Do you know this letter?
0:16:32 > 0:16:37- So, they wrote to you...- I hope it's not one of the abusive ones!
0:16:37 > 0:16:38No, no!
0:16:38 > 0:16:41This is such a sweet letter. Here's the letter.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44"Dear Peter, sorry, mate,
0:16:44 > 0:16:47"no interest at all in being made out of wax.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49"Pease do not pursue this any further.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52"You don't have my permission or my blessing. Apart from that,
0:16:52 > 0:16:54"I hope you and your family are doing well!"
0:16:54 > 0:16:56It's a sweet letter.
0:16:56 > 0:17:01APPLAUSE
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Did you see that terrible Kylie waxwork I showed in the monologue?
0:17:04 > 0:17:06This is so bad.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10KYLIE: It's really amazing!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- Look at that!- Oh, my Lord!
0:17:12 > 0:17:15GRAHAM LAUGHS
0:17:15 > 0:17:20If I could have a template of your letter for next time...
0:17:20 > 0:17:24I do have to say, the one of you kneeling down, though,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28it's kind of attractive. If they're not using that one any more...
0:17:28 > 0:17:30It could be in the back room.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER
0:17:38 > 0:17:41- A little coffee table objet.- Nice!
0:17:41 > 0:17:43No hot drinks on there, please!
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Actually, Richard, is there a waxwork of you?
0:17:46 > 0:17:49The demand does not seem to be there.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Are you sure? Are you sure there isn't a waxwork of you?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54I'm pretty sure.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Because some fans of yours posted a picture online.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00So, are you telling me this is actually you
0:18:00 > 0:18:03in this picture, not a waxwork?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06LAUGHTER
0:18:06 > 0:18:09APPLAUSE
0:18:11 > 0:18:14I love that picture!
0:18:14 > 0:18:17As you can see, I am incredibly relaxed.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- At all times!- Engaging with fans.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22I'm just a fun guy.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26Now, moving on to Cameron Diaz, new movie, The Other Woman,
0:18:26 > 0:18:28it opens on 23rd April.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30A very modern romcom.
0:18:30 > 0:18:35It is kind of modern cos the man is almost a subplot.
0:18:35 > 0:18:41Absolutely, this is really about a relationship between women
0:18:41 > 0:18:44and friendship and the love that women share for one another -
0:18:44 > 0:18:46get your minds out of the gutter!
0:18:46 > 0:18:49About the special bond that women have and, you know, it is
0:18:49 > 0:18:51a story that's very modern.
0:18:51 > 0:18:56Normally, when you have three women who are all seeing the same man -
0:18:56 > 0:19:01one's married to him and he has two girlfriends - normally after that,
0:19:01 > 0:19:03women would be fighting each other,
0:19:03 > 0:19:05they'd be stabbing each other in the back,
0:19:05 > 0:19:06they'd be angry at one another.
0:19:06 > 0:19:11But this movie shows how women can actually put the onus on whom
0:19:11 > 0:19:15it is meant to be put on, which is the man who tricked all of them.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Not in a bad... Not in a man-hating way,
0:19:18 > 0:19:22but just in the most extreme version
0:19:22 > 0:19:24of a pathological liar-cheater.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27And... It's extreme.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29We have to do that for comedy.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31You can't really build comedy without extremes.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35- And it is very funny, it is a really funny movie.- Thank you.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38The person who's in it, who's really funny in it,
0:19:38 > 0:19:43is our good friend, Nicki Minaj. Beez In The Trap, Beez In The Trap.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Nicki, Beez In The Trap, Beez In The Trap.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50We have got a clip, this is you and Nicki Minaj.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- Beez In The Trap. - Beez In The Trap.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54And you've just discovered that
0:19:54 > 0:19:58- Mr Wright has been telling you lies.- Yes.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09What happened?
0:20:09 > 0:20:12It's got to be something big, you were crazy about him two days ago.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15He's got a wife, OK? He's married.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- And you don't think you can take her?- That's not the point.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21I don't do married guys. I don't need to wreck someone's home for a date.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22It's not always a wreck.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Stan and I were married when we met, we weren't happy.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26You wrecked two marriages!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28First of all, one of them was mine so that doesn't count.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- I don't think that's how it works. - All I'm saying, is that I think
0:20:31 > 0:20:34married guys would be the perfect fit for you. I think you need
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- someone with something that's going to keep him busy.- Not a wife!
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Somebody's being negative. I'm going to go.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42But I'll tell you what my mother told me,
0:20:42 > 0:20:44and these are words to live by.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Selfish people live longer.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48LAUGHTER
0:20:53 > 0:20:54She was so great.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58She has some great lines. I love that, "Selfish people live longer."
0:20:58 > 0:21:01"My mother told me, this is something my mother told me,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03"selfish people live longer."
0:21:03 > 0:21:06But because you are promoting this film
0:21:06 > 0:21:08and people are talking to you about relationships,
0:21:08 > 0:21:11it is like the Gospel According to Cameron Diaz,
0:21:11 > 0:21:14all of these edicts have come on high.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Cameron Diaz has said, for instance,
0:21:16 > 0:21:20- "Everyone gets cheated on at some point."- Yeah.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23- Are you standing by this?- Yeah!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26I mean, cheated on?
0:21:26 > 0:21:27I don't know...
0:21:27 > 0:21:29OK, so most likely!
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- Cheated on?- Yeah.- Cheated on?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37I am talking about, like, from, childhood.
0:21:37 > 0:21:42- I'm talking about from the first boys or girls...- When I was five.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Yeah, exactly. Like, there is somebody else you kissed,
0:21:45 > 0:21:50somebody you was kissing that was kissing somebody else.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53You don't know me very well, do you?
0:21:53 > 0:21:56OK, maybe that you cheated on!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Let's skip forward to my mid 20s.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04So, what you are saying, if someone is watching this
0:22:04 > 0:22:06and they haven't been cheated on, they are going to be?
0:22:06 > 0:22:11Well, I am not saying that cheaters are like our cheater in this movie.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13It's like a pathological situation.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16I'm just saying there is a moment in everybody's time where
0:22:16 > 0:22:20they find that somebody has betrayed them at some level.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24Betrayal - is that more comfortable for people?!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Is betrayal more comfortable? I see people when they say that,
0:22:27 > 0:22:31all of a sudden they get really nervous. They go through all of their
0:22:31 > 0:22:34boyfriends and girlfriends and they're like, "Did I?!
0:22:34 > 0:22:37"Oh, my God!" All of a sudden they start questioning -
0:22:37 > 0:22:41it becomes like an existential conundrum, and they're like,
0:22:41 > 0:22:42"Did I?" Did I?"
0:22:42 > 0:22:46I am like, "Just relax, it's OK if you did.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49"Everybody gets cheated on."
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- Wow.- I know.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53It's OK.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55That's cheered the nation up on a Friday(!)
0:22:56 > 0:22:58It really has(?) I am so happy.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00There, from me to you guys. You're welcome.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Here's a thing... Cameron, you're single at the moment. I am.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- Kylie, you're single?- Mm-hm.- Meeting people and dating is hard enough
0:23:06 > 0:23:08but Cameron Diaz and Kylie Minogue...
0:23:08 > 0:23:11I am single at the moment.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Well, hello!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:16 > 0:23:17I wasn't sure!
0:23:17 > 0:23:20I was going to include you, and then I wasn't sure.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Oh, lucky for you, Russell(!) I'm married.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25OK?
0:23:26 > 0:23:29So you may be able to step it up another gear.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35But, Cameron Diaz and Kylie Minogue, how do...
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Can guys ask you out?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39- Yeah!- But how?- Of course!
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- How is it possible?!- You just ask!
0:23:41 > 0:23:44But, no, don't encourage people, I would say.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- But...- But, yeah.- Yeah. No, it happens.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51I know. It's so weird cos we're almost like a disease or something.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53We've got fame!
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- But you know what I mean?- We've got fame. Watch out, girl!- Yeah.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00What is the ratio of people asking you out to you saying yes?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Good question!
0:24:05 > 0:24:08APPLAUSE
0:24:09 > 0:24:13- But I don't know how it is for you. Not that many people ask.- No.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17Don't they have to send a letter to an equerry for you?
0:24:17 > 0:24:21- A calling card.- And it gets brought round to the palace by hand,
0:24:21 > 0:24:23and one of your ladies-in-waiting checks it?
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Maybe that's what should happen.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26At least there's a process - they'd know what to do.
0:24:26 > 0:24:32- Mm. It's called vetting. Vetting. - So, do they go through people?
0:24:32 > 0:24:33No.
0:24:33 > 0:24:38- So...- Well, I say that, but if you work a lot - I work a lot -
0:24:38 > 0:24:41you have your team, you have your people who can give you whispers
0:24:41 > 0:24:44down the corridor and stuff like that.
0:24:44 > 0:24:49So not vetting so much, but you have to have your eyes open.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Does it come back? Does a message come,
0:24:50 > 0:24:52- "If you were to ask Ms Minogue out..."- No!
0:24:52 > 0:24:56"..she might consider your proposal"?
0:24:56 > 0:24:59No! I am SO not posh like that.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01- No?- No, it would be like, "Hey!"
0:25:01 > 0:25:05No, it's as awkward as it is for everyone.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Everyone would be like, "Hey, you want to go for a...?"
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Or "We're going out after, do you want to go for a drink?"
0:25:10 > 0:25:11It happens like that.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Let's throw this out to the group.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Cameron has also been in the papers recently,
0:25:15 > 0:25:17feeling very, very strongly
0:25:17 > 0:25:20that ALL women should maintain some pubic hair.
0:25:22 > 0:25:27- Cameron feels... Cameron feels very strongly about this!- No, no, no,
0:25:27 > 0:25:29no, no. It's not exactly that.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31I don't care... Are you saying "maintain"?
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- No, no. Well, maintain... - In a jar, or...?
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- Thank you!- That would be retain.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41To the allotment.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44If you have an aspect of husbandry about it, Richard,
0:25:44 > 0:25:48- it would be...- To maintain.- Take it out every now and again, comb it.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50- Yeah.- Get stuck in.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53In terms of my comfort zone, I am far away from it.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56I have left the zone of safety.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59I'm in the wilderness. I don't know what's happening.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02"See the forest through the trees" is...
0:26:02 > 0:26:05That is an inappropriate metaphor given...
0:26:08 > 0:26:11- ..given what we are talking about. - Clearly.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14- Can I just clear something up really quick?- Yes, please, do.- If you would.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18- OK.- Yeah.- Did you ever hear a question like, why are you there?
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Why are you there? Why are you there?
0:26:21 > 0:26:25It's... There is a purpose for IT!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32APPLAUSE
0:26:32 > 0:26:36- I want to have a direct communication...- Why are you there?
0:26:36 > 0:26:37SHOUTS: Why are you there?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Sorry! I just thought a slightly louder voice might get an answer.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Does yours talk?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Are you expecting a reply?
0:26:47 > 0:26:49HE MOUTHS
0:26:49 > 0:26:52- I don't know. - I went to a blue movie once,
0:26:52 > 0:26:54when I was 16 or 17,
0:26:54 > 0:26:57at some dodgy theatre in Auckland, New Zealand.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00I am only bringing this up because the title of the film was
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- Virginia The Talking Vagina.- Ah!
0:27:03 > 0:27:06- That is all I have to contribute. Meanwhile...- OK.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- ..back to your loins.- So
0:27:08 > 0:27:12the situation is that I believe that we should be informed as to
0:27:12 > 0:27:15how our body works, we should have the information.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19And I brought up the conversation about how women are sort of...
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Young women, as a trend,
0:27:21 > 0:27:25- are lasering it off all of it at once.- For evermore.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Thank you very much. For evermore.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31And I just want to say to the women who think, at this moment,
0:27:31 > 0:27:35for whatever reason, whether because they've seen it and think it's sexy,
0:27:35 > 0:27:40or that their man thinks that it is sexy, or whatever,
0:27:40 > 0:27:43they're tired of dealing with IT...
0:27:43 > 0:27:46that, um...
0:27:46 > 0:27:47Sorry, may I interrupt?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49- Hold on, let me finish this!- OK.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- Shut the fuck up.- Shut the fuck up!
0:27:52 > 0:27:55LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Virginia is talking!
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Cameron is talking about her bush.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06Whoa! This is what everybody has been talking about.
0:28:06 > 0:28:12So I believe that if you are doing something for ever, ever,
0:28:12 > 0:28:15it don't come back, and you might change your mind.
0:28:15 > 0:28:19And the man who thinks it's sexy, you might change your mind about him.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21He might turn out to be a total...
0:28:23 > 0:28:24- Yeah.- And...
0:28:24 > 0:28:27- Virginia!- ..I just feel like... Yeah, a Virginia.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30I feel like you should consider what "forever" means
0:28:30 > 0:28:33because once it has gone, you can't get it back,
0:28:33 > 0:28:35that's what forever means.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37- Yeah.- That's from my heart to yours, OK?
0:28:37 > 0:28:38Wow!
0:28:38 > 0:28:41So I just want women to know that
0:28:41 > 0:28:46so that... I don't care. Take it all off for years, I don't care.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48But when you want to make that choice to bring it back...
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Thank you.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53..it is there.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57- Men don't choose.- This isn't a vagina, by the way. - If you think about hair...
0:28:59 > 0:29:02What about you, Graham? Do you do the back, crack and sac?
0:29:02 > 0:29:05No, I don't! I do...
0:29:05 > 0:29:09- Not for special occasions, Graham? - No, I do a little man-scaping.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13- What? Arrows, or...?- I believe in grooming. Grooming is my preference.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15- Any messages for friends?- Yeah.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17I mark it out with one of those lawn things...
0:29:17 > 0:29:19in lines.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22You don't want to get down there and think,
0:29:22 > 0:29:25- "Well, if they haven't bothered going here, why would I?"- Exactly.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27It's so ugly.
0:29:27 > 0:29:28Yeah.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30Oh, poor Kylie, she just...
0:29:30 > 0:29:32- Are you all right, Charlene? - I'm all right.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37Now I have visions of pegs and ribbons going across
0:29:37 > 0:29:39and like a garden.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42Not much ribbon! Hey!
0:29:42 > 0:29:46- We must go on to Richard Ayoade because we know...- Quickly.- Quickly.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51- Quickly.- You can say everything you need to say about this
0:29:51 > 0:29:54- in ten seconds. - We know you as a comedy actor. Everyone loves The IT Crowd.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Now, it's not just that you're a director, you're a proper,
0:29:57 > 0:30:00proper movie director!
0:30:00 > 0:30:03You have made not one, but now TWO movies.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05- I mean, they're classed as films. - Yes.- Yeah.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08OK, your new movie... Your new movie The Double...
0:30:08 > 0:30:10- Yes.- ..Michael Caine - is it THE Michael Caine? -
0:30:10 > 0:30:13is listed as one of the executive producers?
0:30:13 > 0:30:16- Yes, he is one of the executive producers.- How did that happen?
0:30:16 > 0:30:20He was in a cerebral accident...
0:30:21 > 0:30:23..and he essentially signed the wrong form.
0:30:23 > 0:30:27So it's a codified clerical error.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30- Well, listen, the movie The Double, which opens tonight...- Yes.
0:30:30 > 0:30:35Noah? The Double? ..I'm glad I'm at work, I couldn't decide.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37It is... Honestly, it's terrific.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40It's a proper, you know... You don't think about you directing it,
0:30:40 > 0:30:42but it's clear that it is a real vision.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46Tell us about the story. It's based on the Dostoevsky novella.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49Yeah, it's based on that and it's about a very lowly, um,
0:30:49 > 0:30:54kind of put-upon, unconfident man.
0:30:54 > 0:30:56I have no idea why I related to it.
0:30:56 > 0:30:59And he's so unremarkable
0:30:59 > 0:31:03that his exact double appears and no-one notices.
0:31:03 > 0:31:07And, also, when he points it out to everyone else no-one even cares.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11I thought that was a funny idea and kind of sad as well.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13The main story is this kind of love story
0:31:13 > 0:31:16between Jesse's character and Mia's character
0:31:16 > 0:31:18that becomes this strange love triangle between
0:31:18 > 0:31:20these doppelgangers and her.
0:31:20 > 0:31:25The clip we have is Jesse Eisenberg playing both characters,
0:31:25 > 0:31:27Simon and the double - James.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29Yeah. We could have got Jedward, but...
0:31:31 > 0:31:34..we realised that too late.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37That would have been a VERY different film.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39- Jesse's great in this. - Yeah, he's great.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42And this demonstrates the difference between the two characters.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46I'll just... I'll have the Coke then, I guess.
0:31:46 > 0:31:47A Coke. And you?
0:31:47 > 0:31:49- Coffee.- A coffee.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52- And scrambled eggs.- We don't serve breakfast in the evening.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54- Why not?- Cos it says so in the menu.
0:31:54 > 0:31:57- Do you have eggs here?- Yeah. - And do you have a frying pan?- Yeah.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59- Then do me a favour and make me some scrambled eggs.- Fine.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01- Anything else?- Bacon.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04- Bacon.- And toast. - And toast.- And a beer.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07- And a beer. Anything else? - No, that's it.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09- Are you sure? - Just give me the damn food.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12What? I'm hungry.
0:32:14 > 0:32:17It's good. Congratulations.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21- SHE GASPS - Go on.- What?
0:32:21 > 0:32:23The red chair?
0:32:23 > 0:32:24- In a minute.- Oh, OK.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31- It looks good though. I want to see that.- Oh, I see.
0:32:31 > 0:32:33It's like ADD. Oh, red chair!
0:32:34 > 0:32:35More wine!
0:32:35 > 0:32:39- It has been sitting there the whole time we've been talking.- Yeah.
0:32:39 > 0:32:43- It didn't just arrive.- See how perceptive I am?- I know, really!
0:32:43 > 0:32:47- How much I'm focused on you. - It is music time. Kylie, what are you singing for us?
0:32:47 > 0:32:49Into The Blue.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51- Oh, lovely!- Yeah.
0:32:51 > 0:32:55Which is the first single off Kiss Me Once - the new album.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58- Kiss Me Once... It's KM for Kylie Minogue.- Yeah.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01Oh, what's the "O" for?
0:33:01 > 0:33:05Well, OK, Kylie Minogue. What are we going to...?
0:33:05 > 0:33:09Go on. It'll get all the kids talking.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12- What?- Say "orgasm"? Yeah.- OK.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15Russ and I have had a little head-to-head about this.
0:33:15 > 0:33:19- Yeah?- And, by committee, it's...
0:33:20 > 0:33:22..orgasm.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24- Kylie Minogue's Orgasm? - I'd never thought of that before.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28We've just heard Kylie Minogue say the word
0:33:28 > 0:33:29"orgasm".
0:33:30 > 0:33:34- We were all here together for that. - We were all here together.
0:33:34 > 0:33:38And very quickly, the other big thing happening this weekend is
0:33:38 > 0:33:41The Voice: Final.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43Yes, with Miss Kylie Minogue.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Now, here's the story, are you doing it again?
0:33:45 > 0:33:47Because we're being told you're not.
0:33:47 > 0:33:52I don't know as of yet because I'm going on tour later in the year
0:33:52 > 0:33:55and then following on next year as well.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57All I can say is I enjoyed the experience.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00It's not over yet. We have a weekend to go.
0:34:00 > 0:34:03We have loved you on The Voice. You're great on it.
0:34:03 > 0:34:06Thank you. As a life experience, it's really been something.
0:34:06 > 0:34:09It challenged me and, you know, I know a lot more
0:34:09 > 0:34:12than I did six months ago about that type of thing.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15I won't even ask you who you want to win, obviously it's Jamie Johnson.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Obviously, but at this stage,
0:34:18 > 0:34:21the fact that the nation knows the contestants' names,
0:34:21 > 0:34:25you know, they have to go forth
0:34:25 > 0:34:28and I think they're all winners at this stage.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30They're not really, are they?
0:34:30 > 0:34:33Well, OK! There's only one gold, but...
0:34:35 > 0:34:38Them nice words, Kylie, but they're not true.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42- There's three losers sitting there. - OK.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Let's see how it's done.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47- Kylie, would you like to go and get ready...- Sure.- ..over there?
0:34:47 > 0:34:50There she goes, wafting to the stage.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55Shortly, we'll have our first stories
0:34:55 > 0:34:57of the series in the big red chair.
0:34:57 > 0:34:59But first, singing her hit single Into The Blue,
0:34:59 > 0:35:01it is Kylie Minogue!
0:35:01 > 0:35:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:35:09 > 0:35:11- KYLIE AND BACKING SINGERS: - # Yo-oh-oh-oh
0:35:11 > 0:35:13# Yo-oh-oh-oh... #
0:35:13 > 0:35:14Are you going to do this one?
0:35:14 > 0:35:17CHEERING Let me hear you.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19# Yo-oh-oh-oh
0:35:19 > 0:35:22# Yo-oh-oh-oh
0:35:22 > 0:35:24# I drew the smile upon my face
0:35:25 > 0:35:30# I paved the road that would one day leave me lonely
0:35:30 > 0:35:32# No angel's too good to fall from grace
0:35:34 > 0:35:38# If she lets go of whatever keeps her holy
0:35:38 > 0:35:42# I'm still here holding on so tight
0:35:42 > 0:35:46# To everything that I left behind
0:35:46 > 0:35:50# I don't care if the world is mine
0:35:50 > 0:35:54# Cos this is all I know
0:35:54 > 0:35:58# When I got my back up against the wall
0:35:58 > 0:36:02# Don't need no-one to rescue me
0:36:02 > 0:36:06# Cos I ain't waiting up for no miracle
0:36:06 > 0:36:10# Yeah, tonight I'm running free
0:36:10 > 0:36:14# Into the blue
0:36:14 > 0:36:18# Into the blue
0:36:18 > 0:36:23# With nothing to lose
0:36:23 > 0:36:27# Into the blue
0:36:28 > 0:36:31# I'm not ashamed of all my mistakes
0:36:32 > 0:36:36# Cos through the cold I still kept the fire burning
0:36:36 > 0:36:39# These memories that I can't erase
0:36:41 > 0:36:45# Always remind me I'm on an endless journey
0:36:45 > 0:36:49# But I'm still here holding on so tight
0:36:49 > 0:36:53# To everything that I left behind
0:36:53 > 0:36:57# I don't care if the world is mine.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01# Cos this is all I know
0:37:01 > 0:37:05# When I got my back up against the wall
0:37:05 > 0:37:08# Don't need no-one to rescue me
0:37:09 > 0:37:13# Cos I ain't waiting up for no miracle
0:37:13 > 0:37:17# Yeah, tonight I'm running free
0:37:17 > 0:37:21# Into the blue
0:37:21 > 0:37:25# Into the blue
0:37:25 > 0:37:29# With nothing to lose
0:37:29 > 0:37:34# Into the blue
0:37:37 > 0:37:41# I'll go where nobody knows
0:37:41 > 0:37:45# Wherever the wind is blowing
0:37:45 > 0:37:52# Even if I'm alone
0:37:55 > 0:37:58- # Yo-oh - Yo-oh-oh-oh
0:37:58 > 0:38:00- # Oh - Yo-oh-oh-oh
0:38:00 > 0:38:04# Yo-oh-oh
0:38:04 > 0:38:06- # Yo - Yo-oh-oh-oh
0:38:06 > 0:38:08- # Oh-oh - Yo-oh-oh-oh
0:38:08 > 0:38:11# When I got my back up against the wall
0:38:11 > 0:38:15# Don't need no-one to rescue me
0:38:15 > 0:38:20# Cos I ain't waiting up for no miracle
0:38:20 > 0:38:23# Yeah, tonight I'm running free
0:38:23 > 0:38:27# Into the blue
0:38:27 > 0:38:32- # Into the blue - Into the blue
0:38:32 > 0:38:36# With nothing to lose.
0:38:36 > 0:38:40# Into blue. #
0:38:49 > 0:38:50Whoo!
0:38:50 > 0:38:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:52 > 0:38:53Thank you.
0:38:55 > 0:38:59Kylie Minogue! Oh!
0:38:59 > 0:39:02Fantastic job. Mwah! Come and sit down.
0:39:02 > 0:39:05Now... Beautiful.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07Where shall I sit?
0:39:07 > 0:39:12- Over here. Now then, some...- I have to talk to you about something.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14- What?- We need to swap seats.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17This is the only reason I do this show.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20- All right.- Thank you, sweetheart.
0:39:20 > 0:39:24- See.- OK.- You can keep your lever.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26Yeah, go do it.
0:39:26 > 0:39:29Scooch up, cos I know you love this part as well.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31Yeah, Cameron, come down.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34It's time for the red chair. Let's see who's there.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37- Hello, nice lady.- Hello!- Hi!
0:39:37 > 0:39:40- OK, good luck. Er, what's your name?- My name's Emma.
0:39:40 > 0:39:45- Emma, where are you from? - Epsom in Surrey.- Epsom in Surrey!
0:39:45 > 0:39:46WHOOPING
0:39:46 > 0:39:52- Home of the bath salts. - Yeah.- What do you do in Epsom?
0:39:52 > 0:39:55- I run a corporate entertainment company.- Really?
0:39:55 > 0:39:57Whatever. OK.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Off you go with your story.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02About 10 or 11 years ago, my then boyfriend
0:40:02 > 0:40:05and I were having a chat about our freebie list,
0:40:05 > 0:40:09which is the list of five celebrities that you can shag
0:40:09 > 0:40:12with the partner not minding at all.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15We had a big debate about it.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17My boyfriend took about a month to come up with his,
0:40:17 > 0:40:18lots of different drafts.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21That's weird when people take it THAT seriously,
0:40:21 > 0:40:22like it's going to happen(!)
0:40:22 > 0:40:26Five months, I really mustn't waste these chances.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28It just so happens, I actually have it.
0:40:28 > 0:40:31I typed it up and laminated it for him, of course.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34- OK.- And he's now he's my husband and he's in the audience.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36And number one
0:40:36 > 0:40:38is Kylie Minogue.
0:40:38 > 0:40:39So, what do you think, Kylie?
0:40:39 > 0:40:41You have my blessing.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44A laminated one! Wow!
0:40:44 > 0:40:45We need to see this man.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Let's see him. Where is he? Where is he?
0:40:47 > 0:40:51- LAUGHTER - Oh, there he is!
0:40:51 > 0:40:53- Oh, he's up there.- Oh.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55Oh, what?
0:40:55 > 0:40:58Say goodbye to your wife.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07Does everybody get the lever?
0:41:07 > 0:41:08- Everyone?- No, some people...
0:41:08 > 0:41:11Well, tonight, everyone will get the lever.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13In fact, I'm surprised she lasted as long as she did.
0:41:13 > 0:41:18Well, last time I didn't let anybody get to the second sentence.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22Didn't you flip someone, like a nurse or something last time,
0:41:22 > 0:41:23I seem to remember?
0:41:23 > 0:41:25I flip them all, Graham.
0:41:27 > 0:41:31- I take no prisoners.- I know. I can see. I see it.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33Let's see who's next. Who's next?
0:41:33 > 0:41:35Hi, I'm Daniela from Essex.
0:41:38 > 0:41:43- Oh, my God!- What?- We may not have enough people for this.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48I feel the rest of the show will go quite quickly now.
0:41:50 > 0:41:51OK, one final one. One final one.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53Here we go. Hello. Now...
0:41:53 > 0:41:55Now...
0:41:55 > 0:41:56You can't.
0:41:58 > 0:42:03Now. Hello, madam. What's your name?
0:42:03 > 0:42:08- My name's Pam. I'm from Hull - City of Culture 2017. - City of Culture. Well done,
0:42:08 > 0:42:12- you're on message. Do you live in Hull?- Yes.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15Are you just down for this or do you come down to London often?
0:42:15 > 0:42:17- No, I'm here with my sister for three days.- Three days.
0:42:17 > 0:42:18What else are you doing?
0:42:18 > 0:42:21- We've been to see Phantom.- Lovely.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25Can I just say, it was more opera-y than I was expecting.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29Was there more opera in it than you thought there'd be?
0:42:29 > 0:42:31- No, we've seen it before.- Oh, I see.
0:42:33 > 0:42:35No surprises for Pam.
0:42:36 > 0:42:40OK, Pam, start your story, but I would brace yourself.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45My husband had to have an angiogram,
0:42:45 > 0:42:50- and the letter from the hospital said...- Incoming. Incoming!
0:42:50 > 0:42:54- ..he had to have his pubic hair shaved.- Ooh!
0:42:54 > 0:42:56I offered to do it with my lady shaver,
0:42:56 > 0:42:59which he enjoyed more than I did.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05Next day, when I picked him up from the hospital,
0:43:05 > 0:43:09the procedure had been changed
0:43:09 > 0:43:13and you no longer put the wire in the groin,
0:43:13 > 0:43:15it just went in your hand.
0:43:15 > 0:43:18So he didn't need to be shaved at all.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23- Shall we let her walk?- You can walk.
0:43:23 > 0:43:25You can walk! You can walk! You can walk!
0:43:25 > 0:43:28- APPLAUSE - Have a nice time in London, Pam.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30Well done, everyone.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go at the red chair,
0:43:33 > 0:43:35contact us via our website at this very address:
0:43:35 > 0:43:37Ladies and gentleman, please thank my guests.
0:43:37 > 0:43:40- Richard Ayoade! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:40 > 0:43:42Cameron Diaz!
0:43:42 > 0:43:44Russell Crowe!
0:43:44 > 0:43:47And Kylie Minogue!
0:43:47 > 0:43:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUES
0:43:49 > 0:43:52Join me next week with singer-songwriter Paolo Nutini,
0:43:52 > 0:43:54The Amazing Spider-Man stars Andrew Garfield
0:43:54 > 0:43:57and Emma Stone, and Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59I'll see you then. Good night! Bye-bye!
0:43:59 > 0:44:03APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING