:00:00. > :00:00.Why, Mr Jackson - what a splendid show we have tonight.
:00:07. > :00:08.A renowned actress of period drama, a popular dance band
:00:09. > :00:21.There are too many famous as people on this show tonight.
:00:22. > :01:00.Hollywood legend, Samuel L Jackson is here.
:01:01. > :01:09.The Star of Atonement and Pirates of the Caribbean, the beautiful
:01:10. > :01:20.And we?ve got music from the fantastic Kasabian!
:01:21. > :01:26.And Formula One fans, we were hoping to have Jenson Button
:01:27. > :01:38.Sadly, he's literally just told us he can't make it
:01:39. > :01:42.but I will talk to him on the phone and find out what's wrong.
:01:43. > :01:57.You know, it's Formula 1. I'm edging it's a glamorous story. Sipping
:01:58. > :02:02.champagne. It'll be something good. Formula 1, it is a glamorous sport.
:02:03. > :02:05.The hunky drivers? The gorgeous pit girls? And the sexy man in charge
:02:06. > :02:24.It's welcome back to Samuel L Jackson.
:02:25. > :02:27.He's been in so many big films, like Star Wars.
:02:28. > :02:30.He needs to be careful with that, he?ll have someone?s eye out.
:02:31. > :02:37.That?s Samuel playing the role of superhero Nick Fury.
:02:38. > :02:44.It?s a great look but there?s something missing.
:02:45. > :02:46.And lovely Keira Knightley - of course her big breakthrough was
:02:47. > :02:58.Thanks to that film, women?s football got record crowds.
:02:59. > :03:04.Of course, the World Cup started this week in Brazil.
:03:05. > :03:07.The locals have all got World Cup Fever - isn't that malaria?
:03:08. > :03:15.What was making that catchy samba beat?
:03:16. > :03:22."Keep hammering, the match starts in five minutes!"
:03:23. > :03:31.But here's a nice little link between Keira and Samuel.
:03:32. > :03:33.One of Keira?s earliest roles was also in Star Wars.
:03:34. > :03:35.She played the lookalike decoy of Princess Padme.
:03:36. > :03:38.I hear in the new Star Wars movie lots of the characters are
:03:39. > :03:44.And his decoy? Here?s Jar Jar Binks? And
:03:45. > :03:45.And his decoy?
:03:46. > :03:56.Plus some more of your stories in the red chair.
:03:57. > :03:59.Later we?ll be having music from Kasabian.
:04:00. > :04:01.But first, be still my beating heart.
:04:02. > :04:16.Wow! You look beautiful. Hello, my darling. Nice to see you.
:04:17. > :04:24.And he's an L of a guest - it's Samuel L. Jackson!
:04:25. > :04:41.Hello, Sir. You are very welcome. Sit down. Are you both well?
:04:42. > :04:48.Remember, you are chatting for three. This is my first time being
:04:49. > :04:54.on collision with no socks. It is kind of odd. It is quite risque.
:04:55. > :05:00.I've thought it was a fashion statement. I have got no socks
:05:01. > :05:05.either. Annually showed my pants there. You have at least got pants.
:05:06. > :05:14.Listen, we are very sorry that Jenson Button is not here. Are you
:05:15. > :05:21.fans of Formula 1? Not really, no? I am in. My uncle got me a cap from
:05:22. > :05:28.Honda and he got Jenson Button to sign it. That was a pretty lame
:05:29. > :05:34.Christmas. I was quite impressed. I'm guessing you're not a fan. I've
:05:35. > :05:41.played golf with Lewis Hamilton. Is he at the back? Because I have a lot
:05:42. > :05:45.of Formula 1 questions I could ask. Other than that, I don't know
:05:46. > :06:00.anything about it. Let's find out what happened to Jenson Button.
:06:01. > :06:11.07, seven, seven... Five... OK, this is it. I wonder who I will actually
:06:12. > :06:24.talk to? Anybody getting back? -- getting that. Hello? Is that Jenson
:06:25. > :06:28.Button? It is Jenson Button. This is Graham Norton and a very
:06:29. > :06:33.disappointed audience. You cannot believe how devastated I am in to
:06:34. > :06:42.not appear on the show. We want the excuse and it better be good. Well,
:06:43. > :06:51.I was out on my push-bike and this be came along and stung me. On the
:06:52. > :06:57.bridge of my nose. Obviously, it is a big shock, initially, massive
:06:58. > :07:02.pain. And suddenly I got a massive headache, and I'd feel sick and I
:07:03. > :07:08.look like a balloon. I am not buying that. Is that actually Jenson
:07:09. > :07:16.Button? You were attacked by a hive, you need to pick it up! A single
:07:17. > :07:24.bee? I am not buying the story. I want to see his face! Listen,
:07:25. > :07:27.Jensen, I know you have got the Austrian Grand Prix later in the
:07:28. > :07:34.month, will you be OK for that? I hope so. That is the crazy thing,
:07:35. > :07:39.I'd drive at 220 miles an hour and get taken out by a bee and a wasp.
:07:40. > :07:44.Yes, it is unbelievable. Seriously, we hope you feel better and thank
:07:45. > :07:50.you for calling. Good luck with the Grand Prix. I know know something
:07:51. > :07:57.about them. Change that Kelowna! -- command.
:07:58. > :08:05.Actually, we are lucky that anybody's here because you have been
:08:06. > :08:10.in lots of action pictures, so you must have had dramatic injuries. No.
:08:11. > :08:17.None? No. I have never had a dramatic injury. I have actually
:08:18. > :08:21.been completely fine doing sword fighting and stuff but then added a
:08:22. > :08:24.film in November were I had to run from a chair to a door and I got up
:08:25. > :08:31.from the chair and took two steps and ripped my quad muscle. It was
:08:32. > :08:37.one of those where we had been joking... You're what muscle? Court.
:08:38. > :08:48.The British accent got me for a second. -- chords. I've entered not
:08:49. > :08:54.walk for about a month. So that was it. Apart from that, have been fine.
:08:55. > :08:58.What about you? You had a really bad one. I have been injured a few times
:08:59. > :09:07.but last October I was shooting a film in Germany and they got thrown
:09:08. > :09:12.from a freezer about 15 feet from a 12 foot height onto my shoulder and
:09:13. > :09:25.ended up with that. That is my collarbone. Oh, my! NEC that? -- can
:09:26. > :09:29.you see that. That is broken. It is all the ligaments that hold your
:09:30. > :09:33.shoulder down, they have snapped. So my collarbone is up now. But I still
:09:34. > :09:43.have full function. Does it hurt? No, it's awesome. Jenson Button, if
:09:44. > :09:52.you are watching, that is an injury. That's right, JB! Now we have lots
:09:53. > :09:56.to talk about. We have film, fashion, music, but we begin with
:09:57. > :10:03.fashion and Samuel and, you have been a huge -- because Samuel L
:10:04. > :10:10.Jackson, you have been on a huge fashion campaign. Yes, trying to get
:10:11. > :10:14.men to talk about cancer, basically, finding out how to get themselves
:10:15. > :10:19.checked and speaking to each other about pain. Women talk about it, I'd
:10:20. > :10:23.got up this morning and I've found a lump... They talk about it. They do.
:10:24. > :10:28.And they say, how was your Pap smear, all that stuff, but guys
:10:29. > :10:31.don't. We will talk about a sports injury but not about a nagging pain.
:10:32. > :10:38.Guys think that we'll me get prostate cancer but guys get breast
:10:39. > :10:43.cancer, guys get... More men dummy from stomach cancer than anything in
:10:44. > :10:46.this country. It is a big thing. We're trying to get men to be more
:10:47. > :10:51.aware of things and go and get checked for this, that and the other
:10:52. > :10:57.that might be cancer related. Hopefully, they will start to do
:10:58. > :11:01.that. We're having a big fashion ball on Sunday, kicking off men's
:11:02. > :11:05.fashion week. And the slogan we've got, do I have its? The slogan is
:11:06. > :11:17.love the glove. Can you tell what this is about? Some people! Why
:11:18. > :11:20.would I love the glove? Because that is the most fearful part of getting
:11:21. > :11:26.checked for cancer for most guys. Guys feel invaded. We were talking
:11:27. > :11:34.about this and stupidly, I should know, but can you check it yourself?
:11:35. > :11:40.No. OK. Unless you know what you are feeling for? If you check it every
:11:41. > :11:44.day and then you noticed a difference... Then it is not a
:11:45. > :11:51.checkup. That's something else, that's a habit. Well, listen, to
:11:52. > :11:53.give us more information you have brought along a clip from one of
:11:54. > :12:01.your promotional films. We asked 212 men to volunteer for a
:12:02. > :12:28.prostate exam. These are the only ones that said yes.
:12:29. > :12:59.There is no need to be scared of one little finger.
:13:00. > :13:11.Love the glove. That is all real? Yes. Those guys actually agreed to
:13:12. > :13:19.be taped while they were getting a prostate exam. Those were honest
:13:20. > :13:23.reactions. The fashion show, it is all men's fashion. Because you are
:13:24. > :13:28.sitting beside a fashion icon, Keira Knightley. Is it true, you all dress
:13:29. > :13:33.up, but you are not that interested in clothes? Irony like getting
:13:34. > :13:38.dressed up every now and again but I am a real scruff. You do a lot of
:13:39. > :13:44.work with Chanel, you do their adverts. Is this Chanel? Don't ask
:13:45. > :13:49.me, because I do not know who made this. It is lovely. That is the
:13:50. > :13:54.sound of a gunshot as a designer kills themselves. This was my big
:13:55. > :14:00.break! It is a lovely thing, so whoever did make it, it is lovely.
:14:01. > :14:07.Look, maybe we can see if a label. Nothing, absolutely nothing. Not one
:14:08. > :14:12.label. That was our first mistake. One of the last red carpets you were
:14:13. > :14:16.on it was a Chanel dress which is amazing looking. You look like a
:14:17. > :14:22.Christmas cracker. That has been pulled, and the prize was your feet.
:14:23. > :14:31.Yes, it was a corset, so it is not an optical illusion. It is like you
:14:32. > :14:34.are made of Lego. The mistake I made was going out to lunch in it
:14:35. > :14:38.afterwards, and we went to an Italian restaurant and I heard
:14:39. > :14:41.Bolognese because why wouldn't you? Suddenly you realise, normally in
:14:42. > :14:45.clothes your tell me might get bigger if you meet Bolognese but you
:14:46. > :14:49.cannot do it in a corset. It just stays up here. So the belching that
:14:50. > :14:53.was happening afterwards was absolutely disgusting. You would
:14:54. > :15:04.think I would know that, having done so many period films, but I did not.
:15:05. > :15:09.You've had a lot of looks over the years. Perhaps none older than this.
:15:10. > :15:15.What is going on there? I was hosting the BET awards one year and
:15:16. > :15:23.channelling Nicky Minage doing bees in the trap. I started with my back
:15:24. > :15:26.to the camera so it's just the hair and the lyrics, you know
:15:27. > :15:34.# Bees in the trap # Bees in the trap #
:15:35. > :15:38.I turned around and everybody had a good laugh. This is a more recent
:15:39. > :15:47.one, the story behind this is fabulous. You're wearing this
:15:48. > :15:53.T-shirt. Oh, that T-shirt. Yeah, I was doing press for Captain America
:15:54. > :15:56.and I was in Atlanta in a studio alone. I was doing press all
:15:57. > :16:00.morning, you know, the remote things that you don't see the people, just
:16:01. > :16:06.me and a camera in a studio. This guy came on, Sam Ruben, from LA, and
:16:07. > :16:11.the Super Bowl had been that past Sunday. He asked me about the
:16:12. > :16:17.commercial that I was in. Dienjoy the commercial I was in that Sunday.
:16:18. > :16:23.I wasn't in a commercial. The only commercial I remembered was Lawrence
:16:24. > :16:30.Fishburn doing a car commercial dressed up. So I just happened to
:16:31. > :16:34.say, well, I'm not Lawrence Fishburn and I'm not in a commercial and I'm
:16:35. > :16:38.not the black guy in this commercial or the black guy in that other
:16:39. > :16:41.commercial. And you should know who you're interviewing. I had a good
:16:42. > :16:45.time and everybody said I was aye rate and I embarrassed him. I got a
:16:46. > :16:49.lot of calls from people in Hollywood who really hate him and
:16:50. > :16:54.said, "That was so great. So great! I can't believe you did that." You
:16:55. > :16:57.could be forgiven for losing your temper, because it's been going on a
:16:58. > :17:01.long time. Fish and I have been going through this for, like you
:17:02. > :17:04.said, a very long time. He and I have been standing together when
:17:05. > :17:09.people came up to him and start to talking to him about Pulp Fiction. I
:17:10. > :17:16.just stood there and... LAUGHTER
:17:17. > :17:20.Like this. At the end, you know, he signed my name and it was great. We
:17:21. > :17:26.both just look at each other and kind of go... But the Pulp Fiction
:17:27. > :17:31.thing, it's 20 years ago this year, isn't it? Yes. That part written for
:17:32. > :17:35.you, but even at the audition... Yeah even at the audition, it was
:17:36. > :17:39.down to me and another actor, one of the producers came in and they were
:17:40. > :17:47.about to introduce him to me, he said, "I love your work Mr
:17:48. > :17:53.Fishburn." OK, fine. I went in angry. Got the job. I also had the
:17:54. > :17:58.privilege of firing that produce frer another movie like four years
:17:59. > :18:05.later. Lovely. That's a good feeling. That was kind of good.
:18:06. > :18:13.Weirdly, Keira, there's the Natalie Portman thing, you started as a look
:18:14. > :18:18.alike. Yeah. You were mistaken for really odd Natalie Po people. Rtman
:18:19. > :18:22.I get a lot. She must get chased a lot because it's happened about five
:18:23. > :18:27.times where somebody has been like "Natalie. Natalie." I'll always sign
:18:28. > :18:34.and have a picture as Natalie Portman. I get Kate Winslett a lot.
:18:35. > :18:39.But the surprising one is Britney Spears. That is very surprising. It
:18:40. > :18:43.is. I quite like the idea that I could kind of do all that, which I
:18:44. > :18:47.can't do, but you know, and so I've been Britney spears about three Do
:18:48. > :18:52.you times. Sign for her? Yeah, and have a picture, absolutely. Wow. Not
:18:53. > :18:57.when it's me. If somebody says me, I go a bit like oh, no, this is really
:18:58. > :19:03.embarrassing. Every time Britney comes up, definitely. Sometimes you
:19:04. > :19:11.can't win. I've been every black actor in the world. The funniest one
:19:12. > :19:14.my wife and I were in Scotland. The driver was taking us back to the
:19:15. > :19:22.airport. "This is so great. I now have the whole set." My wife was
:19:23. > :19:26.like, "Set of what? He said, "I've driven Mr Freeman, I've driven Mr
:19:27. > :19:34.Washington and now you." What is the whole set of?
:19:35. > :19:41.APPLAUSE Going back to Pulp FORCEDYELLOW no.
:19:42. > :19:46.Fiction for a second, when they reformat these films, you swear a
:19:47. > :19:53.lot in films. Me? Even I've noticed. Really? When they have to reformat
:19:54. > :19:58.these films, is it really you insist on doing it yourself? I'm usually
:19:59. > :20:02.there, because they always go, well, you know, we have TV and the movie
:20:03. > :20:07.is on TV and they asked you to dot aeroplane version and it's always
:20:08. > :20:10.something. -- do the aeroplane version, and it's always something.
:20:11. > :20:14.Most of the times it's me. I'm Do you there. Get to choose the
:20:15. > :20:19.replacement words? Sure. You always try to do something as stupid as
:20:20. > :20:23.possible because you want the audience, well the audience already
:20:24. > :20:29.knows what the word was. They want something that fits. Yeah. It always
:20:30. > :20:40.ends up, if it's a tame version, you will say something like Marilyn
:20:41. > :20:47.Farmer. Maryland Farmer. Or you say monkey fighter. Or I say things like
:20:48. > :20:51.money feelers. You make up something that's horrid, that doesn't fit. We
:20:52. > :20:56.have a clip from Snakes on a Planement Yes. Let's see if you can
:20:57. > :21:03.tell what the words were originally. Enough is enough. I have had it with
:21:04. > :21:11.these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane.
:21:12. > :21:17.APPLAUSE So stupid. But the swearing thing,
:21:18. > :21:22.because I read somewhere, talking in an interview, at home you don't
:21:23. > :21:27.censor yourself. No, I never have. As a dad, you're quite uncensored
:21:28. > :21:35.with your daughter. I was. Well she's 32 now. When she was a child,
:21:36. > :21:41.we spent ape lot of time together. She talked like I talked to her
:21:42. > :21:47.friends. Or to other people. I remember we were at a wedding once,
:21:48. > :21:52.and my daughter was, I guess she was maybe one, almost two, and this lady
:21:53. > :22:06.held her and she said, baby, do you want something to eat? What is that
:22:07. > :22:12.hit? -- shit? Huh? That shit looks fucked up. Whose baby is that? That
:22:13. > :22:17.was the beginning of, you know, OK we can't talk to this child. There
:22:18. > :22:22.must have been that in-between time, when she wasn't a child and before
:22:23. > :22:27.she was 32, still living at home and like boys... By the time she started
:22:28. > :22:30.dating, yeah, but she knew who I was. They didn't. They had an idea.
:22:31. > :22:34.They must have been freaked out when they came and found you. They'd seen
:22:35. > :22:40.the poofies and all this other stuff. When they came over, I was
:22:41. > :22:45.not open and like, "Hi, young man, so nice to meet you." We were
:22:46. > :22:50.talking about this through the week, how intimidating to see you. Do you
:22:51. > :22:56.remember the Ezekial speech from Pulp Fiction. Could you do that for
:22:57. > :23:02.us? Imagine, you're about 17 or 18, coming around to the Jackson
:23:03. > :23:09.residence to pick up lovely Zoe. You get Samuel L Jackson doing this. The
:23:10. > :23:13.path of the richous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the
:23:14. > :23:16.selfish and tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of
:23:17. > :23:20.charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness
:23:21. > :23:29.for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And
:23:30. > :23:34.I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger
:23:35. > :23:41.those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers and you will
:23:42. > :23:42.know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.
:23:43. > :24:04.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE So smooth. Wow. That was quite
:24:05. > :24:09.frightening sitting next to him. That was like a privilege. Yeah, it
:24:10. > :24:12.was. That was good. My friendly speech, you know. I have a couple of
:24:13. > :24:19.friends that called me and asked me to do that on their answering
:24:20. > :24:29.machines. I'm glad Jenson wasn't here. He probably would have wet
:24:30. > :24:37.himself. JB! Ouch. Ouch. His owie from a bee. I get stung by bees four
:24:38. > :24:46.times a year on the golf course. I keep playing. We must be kind. Now,
:24:47. > :24:53.listen, Keira, your new movie, we see a whole new side to Kiera
:24:54. > :25:03.Knightley, Keira sings. Yeah. Take it away. A little burst of
:25:04. > :25:09.something, now. Couldn't imagine anything worse. Go on. You do it.
:25:10. > :25:14.He's done his party trick. No, no don't worry. I won't make you sing.
:25:15. > :25:24.The movie is called Begin Again, opens on July 11. You do Yeah, I
:25:25. > :25:29.sing. Do. But you're good at it. That was amazing, "You're good at
:25:30. > :25:33.it!" Like it is a surprise. You seem to hate singing. I actually don't
:25:34. > :25:37.like singing. I mean I do, if I'm not my own in a shower. But I don't
:25:38. > :25:42.like singing in front of people. Which I didn't realise until I said
:25:43. > :25:46.yes to the femme and -- film and suddenly found myself singing in
:25:47. > :25:53.front of people. Not karaoke? No, hate it! When you go on those
:25:54. > :25:59.junkets to Japan, don't they take you to a karaoke place. No, they
:26:00. > :26:12.didn't. What do you sing? I have a karaoke song. What's your karaoke
:26:13. > :26:20.song? That good, huh? Let's just kiss and say goodbye, yeah. Nice.
:26:21. > :26:27.Any how, back to you singing. Does Mark sing in this? No, he plays the
:26:28. > :26:32.guitar. He produces it, in the We should film. Explain a bit more.
:26:33. > :26:38.It's Nobody understand nonsense. S. So, it's you... I'm a singer-song
:26:39. > :26:42.writer and I sing. Is that enough? Your boyfriend is a big rock Yes and
:26:43. > :26:47.star. He dumps me. That's not giving much away. Then I'm suddenly left in
:26:48. > :26:51.New York not really knowing what to do. I bump into this alcoholic
:26:52. > :26:55.played by Mark and we decide to produce an album together. We have a
:26:56. > :26:59.clip. This is yourself and Mark and he's pipping the idea of the album
:27:00. > :27:03.you're going to record. You don't need a demo, let's record an album.
:27:04. > :27:07.Every song in a different location, all over New York city. We do it
:27:08. > :27:12.through the summer. It becomes a tribute to this beautiful, goddamn
:27:13. > :27:17.crazy fractured mess of a city, New York. OK, under the breath on the
:27:18. > :27:22.lower east side Empire State Building. Central Park. Chinatown.
:27:23. > :27:26.Cathedral St John divine. The subway. What happens if it starts
:27:27. > :27:30.raining. Whatever happens, we record it. If we get arrested? Keep
:27:31. > :27:39.rolling, it will be beautiful. APPLAUSE
:27:40. > :27:44.It's not the same as your life, there are paralegals, in that you
:27:45. > :27:49.are married to a rock Yeah, he'll star. Be very happy to hear himself
:27:50. > :27:53.called a rock star. Yes, I am. I'm married to a rock star. It's It is
:27:54. > :27:56.different. Different. But he did actually teach me how to play, well,
:27:57. > :28:01.he tried to teach me how to play the guitar for this film, which nearly
:28:02. > :28:06.ended in divorce and murder. I've never been more angry. It's like
:28:07. > :28:09.nobody should ever do it, if you're married to someone don't get the
:28:10. > :28:13.other to play a musical instrument. I can't really play the guitar. He
:28:14. > :28:16.does it very There was well. One bit, where I thought, oh, Keira must
:28:17. > :28:24.have done that. It's where you're watching him play and all the girls
:28:25. > :28:28.are in the front going, "Yay-him." You must have had that experience?
:28:29. > :28:32.Yeah, I have watched from the stage. Only with them it's more beefy dudes
:28:33. > :28:35.than girls. There are occasions where it's like, yeah, there will be
:28:36. > :28:39.a lot of girls around and they get very excited. They never got thrown
:28:40. > :28:43.- I always think bands should have knickers thrown at them. I've never
:28:44. > :28:48.seen knickers thrown at them. I've seen a bra thrown at them, which was
:28:49. > :28:56.quite big. Never So not knickers. A threat? No, clearly he's not into
:28:57. > :29:00.that! I might start going along with knickers so they can experience
:29:01. > :29:06.that. I'll throw them. You want to get the party started. Yeah.
:29:07. > :29:11.Supportive wife. Exact ly. Very, Klaxons, their album's out Monday,
:29:12. > :29:15.by the way. Now very supportive, right? Very good. What would you
:29:16. > :29:23.worse for you, having to sing in fronts of a large audience or do
:29:24. > :29:28.your sex faces? Right now? I'm not asking you to do them now? I'm so
:29:29. > :29:34.pleased. Which would be worse? Dangerous Methods you had to do a
:29:35. > :29:37.lot of sex faces? Yeah, a lot of weird sex faces, that's not a weird
:29:38. > :29:49.sex face, but she's a weird character. That's not it. No!
:29:50. > :30:02.Like that movie. I had to go on Skype with David Cronenberg saw that
:30:03. > :30:11.he could see what my planned weird sex faces were. It's awful on every
:30:12. > :30:16.level because I've never met him before. To say, nice to meet you and
:30:17. > :30:20.then get, so, what are your sex faces, which I'd just been
:30:21. > :30:30.practising in the mirror. They were meant to be horrible sex faces. They
:30:31. > :30:32.were. But Skype froze. So my meeting with this big director who I think
:30:33. > :30:42.is amazing was suddenly just this kind of... Sexless. But it was
:30:43. > :30:48.great. -- sex face. You seem to have... Are you saying I have bad
:30:49. > :30:54.sex faces? I am not saying that. Do you mean bad sex faces or bad sex
:30:55. > :30:55.faces? They are two very different things. Very different. At sex face
:30:56. > :31:17.is just... -- bad sex face. Uncomfortable moments with
:31:18. > :31:22.directors. Joe Wright in Atonement, again, making sweet love, and he is
:31:23. > :31:27.directing you, shouting instructions. I don't know, there is
:31:28. > :31:31.a scene and I'm having sex up against a book shelf, as you do,
:31:32. > :31:36.with the lovely James McAvoy, who is lovely. It is always awkward because
:31:37. > :31:54.he is a friend. Suddenly, this voice just goes, Keira, rank him off! --
:31:55. > :31:57.wank. OK, no problem. That is what they don't know when they're sitting
:31:58. > :32:06.there watching it. Look at that, 15 guys standing around and a guy with
:32:07. > :32:16.a Sam which, like... -- sandwich. Faster! It's tough for us, too,
:32:17. > :32:20.because you go in and you say, OK, where can touch you? Where can I'm
:32:21. > :32:26.not touching? Want to apologise now for getting excited. Or I want to
:32:27. > :32:30.apologise now for not getting excited. Because you don't know.
:32:31. > :32:38.Actors can get upset either way. I'm not your type?
:32:39. > :32:44.Right, before this week?s stories in the big red chair, it?s time
:32:45. > :32:47.This band will be one of the headline acts
:32:48. > :32:51.at this year?s Glastonbury and their new album is set to top the charts.
:32:52. > :33:12.Performing their new single 'Eez-Eh', it is - Kasabian!
:33:13. > :33:21.# I'm just trying to put the world to right
:33:22. > :33:27.# And I got the feeling that I'm gonna keep you up all
:33:28. > :33:38.# Gonna keep you up all # Gonna keep you up all night
:33:39. > :33:58.# The wrong men have the power # It's turning my milk sour
:33:59. > :34:00.# Turning my milk sour # Turning my milk sour
:34:01. > :34:05.# I ain't easy # And I make you mad
:34:06. > :34:10.to rights # And if you want to, I'll take you
:34:11. > :34:14.out # Cause I got the feeling that I'm
:34:15. > :34:22.gonna keep you up all night # I ain't easy
:34:23. > :34:28.trying to set the world alight # You got problems, well so have I
:34:29. > :34:32.# And I got the feeling that I'm gonna keep you up all
:34:33. > :34:50.# Gonna keep you up all # Gonna keep you up all night
:34:51. > :35:08.# Everyday is brutal # Now we're being watched by Google
:35:09. > :35:15.# Being watched by Google # Being watched by Google
:35:16. > :35:20.# Least I ain't sleazy # I'm just trying to put the world
:35:21. > :35:23.to rights # And if you want to, I'll take you
:35:24. > :35:25.out # Cause I got the feeling that I'm
:35:26. > :35:30.gonna keep you up all night # I ain't easy
:35:31. > :35:33.# But I ain't that bad # No rhyme or reason, I'm just
:35:34. > :35:37.trying to set the world alight # You got problems, well so have I
:35:38. > :35:44.# And I got the feeling that I'm gonna keep you up all
:35:45. > :36:41.# Gonna keep you up all # Gonna keep you up all night. #
:36:42. > :37:03.How good was that? Kasabian, everybody. Come on over. So rock 'n'
:37:04. > :37:09.roll. Wonderful. Nice to see it. -- nice to see you. Do you know
:37:10. > :37:15.everybody? Bonding, bonding, kissing, it's all lovely. She was
:37:16. > :37:21.coveting your pants, I want you to know that. Was enjoying the pink
:37:22. > :37:29.stripe. It is usually quite but they changed it to paint for Graham. A
:37:30. > :37:35.nice gay joke. 4813 is the name of the new album. Explain it. We were
:37:36. > :37:40.not trying to be clever or anything. It was just the sum of its parts. It
:37:41. > :37:46.seemed perfect. Ridiculously, we came up with that before we had
:37:47. > :37:52.finished the wreckage. So it was mad months of figuring out, changing
:37:53. > :37:59.song lengths... You thought it was going to be the running time? Was it
:38:00. > :38:04.a sweepstake? We fell in love with the number so everything at fit with
:38:05. > :38:07.it. That everything had to fit with it. It informed of the wreckage. It
:38:08. > :38:18.could not have been longer? Not by a second. 4814 did not sound as good.
:38:19. > :38:22.Like the idea. Could you not just have called at 4813 and made it 50
:38:23. > :38:27.minutes? Two, dated to even going to. It could've been a mystery and
:38:28. > :38:36.no one would have known. You have to time it. Too late now. Tom, I think
:38:37. > :38:40.you might be freaking out now. Because I'm next to Mace Windu?
:38:41. > :38:50.Yet... Really? You are Mace Windu. Thank you. He has a collection.
:38:51. > :38:55.Life-savers. Many? I have sex. Yours, your De's, Darth Vader's,
:38:56. > :39:07.Luke skywalker's. I've got the other one. I do a virgin? -- argue a
:39:08. > :39:14.virgin? That was the light sabre he could not remember. Unbelievable.
:39:15. > :39:17.Well, good luck with the album, and thank you for the
:39:18. > :39:25.I love that song. I am not your demographic. You do not want a
:39:26. > :39:30.50-year-old man going, great song. You're thinking, Jesus, we're
:39:31. > :39:44.finished! Norton likes it, what is it all about?! Let's find out who is
:39:45. > :39:51.on the red chair. My name is Amanda. Where are you from? New York City.
:39:52. > :39:59.One person likes you. Or a seal has escaped. Do you live here? I am
:40:00. > :40:05.cabin crew for a US airline. So off you go with your story. Any years
:40:06. > :40:10.ago, boarding an aircraft going to a Caribbean island, and women comes on
:40:11. > :40:14.with her baby in a stroller and told her to fold the stroller up and the
:40:15. > :40:18.stroller in the closet. And about five minutes later, a little man
:40:19. > :40:26.comes up and me and starts pulling on my shirt and saying, Miss, there
:40:27. > :40:32.is a baby in the closet. And there went over and she actually closed
:40:33. > :40:39.the stroller around the baby and hung the child. It had these big
:40:40. > :40:49.beautiful brown eyes, looking up at me. Amanda, you can what! That was a
:40:50. > :40:56.good story. When she said she worked for an airline, I thought, one of
:40:57. > :41:01.you will have been on the plane. It was in snakes. Next person. Hello.
:41:02. > :41:08.Look at you, grabbing onto that share. Careful! -- grabbing onto
:41:09. > :41:15.that chair. What is your name? Collett. Where are you from? New
:41:16. > :41:23.Zealand. Wait, New Zealand stories are often very good and even not,
:41:24. > :41:28.the accent is hilarious. Do you live here or there are? I live here. I am
:41:29. > :41:39.in teacher. What subject do you teach? I am a PET chair. Unusual. --
:41:40. > :41:42.PE teacher. Being a PE teacher, I find it inappropriate to wear a
:41:43. > :41:47.thong to work. One night each, eyewear normal undies but when our
:41:48. > :41:56.work-out, eyewear a thong because with kites, you do not want to get a
:41:57. > :42:03.11... No, no. That story was every shade of wrong. A PE teacher is
:42:04. > :42:12.considering wearing thongs to work? Should we attempt one more. One
:42:13. > :42:18.more, OK. I was not actually asking you but thanks. Thank you for your
:42:19. > :42:27.interest. Hello. You seem excited to be here. What is your name?
:42:28. > :42:33.Catherine. I am in from Middlesex. What do you do? I am in uni. It is a
:42:34. > :42:39.real place. Are you from Middlesex? Kind of. What are you studying at
:42:40. > :42:51.university? Fine art. Lovely. That is exciting. Stop it, you are in a
:42:52. > :42:55.frenzy. Come down. Tell your story. My mum used to be in the police and
:42:56. > :42:58.her and her friends got a call out because these neighbours had not
:42:59. > :43:01.seen this little old lady for a while and were getting worried. My
:43:02. > :43:06.mum and her friend went over and broke in, thinking the worst. They
:43:07. > :43:08.went upstairs and they saw this wardrobe had fallen over and these
:43:09. > :43:16.little legs sticking out underneath it and they were like, she's dead.
:43:17. > :43:21.Her nightie had written up, and my mums friend goes, look at the Bush
:43:22. > :43:28.on that. And a voice from under the wardrobe goes, never mind my Bush,
:43:29. > :43:35.get me out from underneath here! OK, she walks. Well done.
:43:36. > :43:38.If you?d like to join us on the show and have a go
:43:39. > :43:42.in the red chair, you can contact us via our website at this address.
:43:43. > :43:46.Thank you to my guests, Kasabian, Keira Knightley and Samuel Jackson.
:43:47. > :43:49.Join me next week with music from rock queen Chrissie Hynde,
:43:50. > :43:52.comedian John Bishop, the man behind Mrs Brown, Brendan O'Carroll,
:43:53. > :43:56.'Miami Vice' legend Don Johnson and pop princess Cheryl Cole.
:43:57. > :44:32.I saw you before and I thought you were so beautiful.
:44:33. > :44:35.I wish that love could come into my life.