Episode 2

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03On the show tonight we've got the stars

0:00:03 > 0:00:06of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Can't stop! Ahh!

0:00:08 > 0:00:10Ooh!

0:00:10 > 0:00:15Ooh, ow! Here I come!

0:00:15 > 0:00:17- CHEERING - Let's start the show!

0:00:26 > 0:00:29APPLAUSE

0:00:33 > 0:00:36- Oh, oh, oh! Oh, I can't... - APPLAUSE

0:00:36 > 0:00:39Oh...

0:00:39 > 0:00:42Oh, I'm sweating.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44I'm sweating, ladies and gentlemen.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46We've got a web-tastic show for you tonight.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Star of Never Let Me Go and The Social Network,

0:00:48 > 0:00:53- Andrew Garfield is on the show! Yes! - CHEERING

0:00:53 > 0:00:55From The Help and Crazy, Stupid, Love,

0:00:55 > 0:00:59- Emma Stone is here! - CHEERING

0:01:00 > 0:01:04Oscar-winning star of Ray, Jamie Foxx is here!

0:01:04 > 0:01:07CHEERING

0:01:07 > 0:01:11Plus we've got music from the brilliant Paolo Nutini!

0:01:11 > 0:01:13CHEERING

0:01:13 > 0:01:17Oh... I tell you, I'm jealous.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Dressing up as Spider-Man, that's quite good fun.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22You get all the kit now, you can buy everything. Look at that.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Hang on, does it work?

0:01:24 > 0:01:25Yay! It's good, right?

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Looks a little dry, doesn't it? Like I'm running out.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32Sorry. Sorry. I am 51. Now...

0:01:32 > 0:01:34LAUGHTER

0:01:34 > 0:01:36It's taken it out of me.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38By the way, if you want to know

0:01:38 > 0:01:42where I got this Spider-Man gadget from, it's available on the "web"!

0:01:42 > 0:01:45LAUGHTER

0:01:45 > 0:01:49APPLAUSE

0:01:49 > 0:01:52I'll be talking to Jamie Foxx about all his different looks -

0:01:52 > 0:01:54he's always so cool, though, isn't he?

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Whether he's sporting an afro,

0:01:56 > 0:02:01or corn rows, or even the comb-over.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04That is Jamie in the new Spider-Man movie

0:02:04 > 0:02:07before he becomes the supervillain Electro.

0:02:07 > 0:02:08Yeah, Electro is a man

0:02:08 > 0:02:11with electricity coursing through his whole body.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13It's very cool, it's a very cool thing,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16but it means you've got to be very careful posing for pictures.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20Fine for Spider-Man, you know, lovely, lovely.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22But if Electro picks up a baby...

0:02:22 > 0:02:23Oooh!

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Now, in the movie Emma Stone, of course,

0:02:27 > 0:02:30falls in love with Spider-Man, she does.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33And it can happen in real life, you know, that beautiful woman

0:02:33 > 0:02:36married a daddy-longlegs, do you remember that?

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Mm-hmm, yeah.

0:02:40 > 0:02:44D'you know, in the wild, spiders are always having sex.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46I suppose that's why they look so happy.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50"Yay, sex!"

0:02:50 > 0:02:52That's a real spider - well, I'm told, I don't know,

0:02:52 > 0:02:53but they told me it was.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55It could be, because in the animal kingdom,

0:02:55 > 0:02:57it's full of happy creatures -

0:02:57 > 0:02:59happy fish...

0:02:59 > 0:03:02happy elephants... Aw!

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Even happy frogs.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08And, of course, some animals are less happy.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13"Stupid animal pictures!"

0:03:13 > 0:03:16Now, I'm going to be asking Emma if it's true

0:03:16 > 0:03:19that the mere mention of the Spice Girls reduces her to tears.

0:03:19 > 0:03:20That's her on a radio station

0:03:20 > 0:03:24just before they played her a surprise message from a Spice Girl,

0:03:24 > 0:03:26and then look what happened.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29She actually burst into tears - she did! And, of course,

0:03:29 > 0:03:32the Spice Girls can make some people very emotional.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35I remember when Victoria announced she was going to leave the band

0:03:35 > 0:03:37to set up her own recording studio at home. Yeah.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40LAUGHTER

0:03:42 > 0:03:46That was a blue Monday, wasn't it, yeah. That's all to come,

0:03:46 > 0:03:48plus more of your stories from the big red chair.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50So, let's get some guests on!

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Later we'll be having music from Paolo Nutini!

0:03:53 > 0:03:55CHEERING

0:03:55 > 0:03:58But first, he's a real live wire, it's Jamie Foxx!

0:03:58 > 0:04:00CHEERING

0:04:00 > 0:04:03There he is. Hi, how are you?

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Say hi, people.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08Jamie Foxx is here!

0:04:08 > 0:04:11She rocks, it's Emma Stone!

0:04:11 > 0:04:13CHEERING

0:04:13 > 0:04:16- Emma Stone!- Yay!- Emma Stone!- Yay! - Hello, darling, hello.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Mwah, mwah!

0:04:18 > 0:04:23And there are no flies on him - it's Andrew Garfield!

0:04:23 > 0:04:27- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Hello, sir, lovely to see you.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30Sit yourself down. Oh!

0:04:30 > 0:04:31All right.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35Welcome, all.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Oh, did you miss the wine order?

0:04:37 > 0:04:39I just ordered some water.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41You're having red wine on a talk show?!

0:04:41 > 0:04:44- It's cool, this is cool.- Cool.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Urban drink.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Now, Andrew, I'm slightly disappointed now

0:04:48 > 0:04:50that you're not in the outfit,

0:04:50 > 0:04:53because you do show up at things in the outfit.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Do I... Yes, I do sometimes. Yes. I'm very...

0:04:56 > 0:04:58I'm a fan. I love being Spider-Man.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01I'm 30, I'm embarrassed about it!

0:05:01 > 0:05:05I adore it. My first-ever Halloween costume when I was three

0:05:05 > 0:05:08was a mother-made Spider-Man costume, by my mother.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10I think we've got a picture of that.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13- There, look at him. - AUDIENCE: Aw.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15How amazing is my costume? My mum is amazing.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17She made both those costumes for me and my brother.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20My brother's Superman and I'm Spider-Man. For my mother.

0:05:20 > 0:05:24- APPLAUSE - How amazing.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28It's kind of amazing she made the outfit,

0:05:28 > 0:05:32it's more amazing that little boy is now actually Spider-Man.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33That's nuts! I love it.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36You must be exhausted, you've been everywhere.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38- You've been to China?- Yes.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41It's amazing what Spider-Man does.

0:05:41 > 0:05:45It's your second time on the Spider-Man trip,

0:05:45 > 0:05:48it was my first time, and I don't know if he saw this,

0:05:48 > 0:05:50but people cried when they saw it.

0:05:50 > 0:05:54Like, people... You know. And it was just amazing.

0:05:54 > 0:05:58And then there was a girl crying next to me

0:05:58 > 0:06:02and she said something in, like, Japanese...

0:06:02 > 0:06:06- In Japan or China? - It was in China, I'm sorry.

0:06:06 > 0:06:11- So she was speaking Japanese in China. Got it.- No, it was Chinese.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13- It was a foreign lingo. - It was a foreign language.

0:06:13 > 0:06:14She was sitting there crying

0:06:14 > 0:06:17and I thought, you know, it was cos she'd seen my movies and stuff,

0:06:17 > 0:06:20but the guy said she's saying, "You're standing on my foot."

0:06:20 > 0:06:22LAUGHTER

0:06:22 > 0:06:25And, Emma, didn't you have some cultural education in China?

0:06:25 > 0:06:29Well, we went to a temple which was completely beautiful,

0:06:29 > 0:06:31- we went to this... - In the Forbidden City.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34In the Forbidden City there was a temple

0:06:34 > 0:06:37that the king had used to worship all of his ancestors and...

0:06:37 > 0:06:38That was beautiful, yeah.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42And while we were at the temple we went to the bathroom

0:06:42 > 0:06:46and there was a woman pooping in the ground.

0:06:46 > 0:06:50- She was doing what? - She was pooping in the ground.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53And this is apparently common

0:06:53 > 0:06:55and they warn you about it in the guide books.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Was she pooping in a hole?

0:06:57 > 0:07:00- She was pooping in a toilet on the ground in a bathroom.- Oh, I see.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02I had a vision, she just said, "I need to go."

0:07:02 > 0:07:06- It was a toilet, but it was just in the ground.- It went somewhere.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- It went somewhere, it went somewhere.- It was spiritual.

0:07:09 > 0:07:13- It was a spiritual experience. - There was no flush.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Getting the demons out. - No, it was a...

0:07:19 > 0:07:22I feel like I made it sound like she was just pooping on the ground.

0:07:22 > 0:07:23You did! That's what you said!

0:07:23 > 0:07:26- You said she was just pooping on the ground!- Yeah, I was not clear.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28- Sorry. There was a toilet in the ground.- OK.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30There was a toilet in the ground.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33So she wasn't in a little cubicle, that's kind of more shocking...

0:07:33 > 0:07:36No, she was but the door was... She just had the door propped open...

0:07:36 > 0:07:38What does she look... That's kind of...

0:07:40 > 0:07:42- Yeah, like that.- I mean, what's her face look like?

0:07:45 > 0:07:48I feel like this story sounds really impressive.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50I don't really want to do the face.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53I feel bad I even told the story, kind of, Beijing was beautiful.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56She doesn't watch this show, she's not going to be bothered.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59And as you go round, I heard you, Emma, on the radio saying

0:07:59 > 0:08:03that you only saw the movie for the first time a couple of days ago.

0:08:03 > 0:08:09Yeah. I'm in cold sweats about my story from before.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12- Is that because you don't like seeing...- My Chinese story.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14- Oh, God.- Let it go. Literally walk away.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17I'm sorry we're returning to it, but I just regret telling it.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21Who says that word on national TV multiple times?

0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Poop, poop, poop, poop, it's fine.- All right.

0:08:24 > 0:08:29- I want you to know that I love China.- It would have been better in conjunction with the word "toilet".

0:08:29 > 0:08:33- I should have said "toilet"! - Yeah.- OK.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35It was the woman on the ground that left us all a bit...oh.

0:08:35 > 0:08:40I wish I could retell it to my parents so you'd all know how I'm feeling.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42But is it true you...?

0:08:42 > 0:08:45So you hate telling pooping-on-the-ground stories,

0:08:45 > 0:08:48and you hate watching yourself in movies.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Yeah.- She hates a lot of things!

0:08:50 > 0:08:55Um, yeah, I don't... I don't...it's not...

0:08:55 > 0:08:58I don't like thinking about my facial expressions,

0:08:58 > 0:09:00it's nice if you can just enjoy making the movie.

0:09:00 > 0:09:04But didn't Michelle Obama force you to watch...was it The Help?

0:09:04 > 0:09:08She didn't FORCE us to watch it, but we were watching...

0:09:08 > 0:09:11She was incredibly aggressive.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13LAUGHTER

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Get in there!

0:09:15 > 0:09:18Get in there and watch your movie! You're at the White House.

0:09:18 > 0:09:23But yes, she had a screening and it was Octavia, Spencer and I

0:09:23 > 0:09:25- and it was pretty amazing. - I never got...

0:09:25 > 0:09:27You didn't even get an invitation?

0:09:27 > 0:09:30No, and I'm African-American.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32LAUGHTER

0:09:32 > 0:09:33- It hurt.- Wow!

0:09:33 > 0:09:36You played Ray Charles.

0:09:36 > 0:09:40- You would think...- You'd think, Oscar, Ray Charles, hello?

0:09:40 > 0:09:44I want to play the first Black President, you know...

0:09:44 > 0:09:48- It seems like a ticket to the White House right there.- Right there.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51- AS OBAMA:- And if there's any indication...

0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Very good!- That's my Obama. - Can you do more?

0:09:53 > 0:09:59And if there's any indication that, er, America is not the most incredible country in the world.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02And yes, we are.

0:10:02 > 0:10:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:10:07 > 0:10:12Actually, talking of voices, Jamie, your voice, as Electro...

0:10:12 > 0:10:14- Yes.- Is that you? I mean...

0:10:14 > 0:10:18It's me, but it's also dialled in

0:10:18 > 0:10:20with some mechanical stuff.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22But when I was working on the voice,

0:10:22 > 0:10:25there was a lot of Clint Eastwood.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28You know, cos Clint Eastwood's, "Go ahead, make my day."

0:10:28 > 0:10:31So I wanted to be down, like the ending,

0:10:31 > 0:10:35also, I don't know if they'll appreciate this, Alec Baldwin.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38I know it sounds weird.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Alec Baldwin is the great whisperer

0:10:40 > 0:10:42cos every time he does...

0:10:42 > 0:10:44(WHISPERING) "You talk like this in the movies."

0:10:44 > 0:10:47So I used a bit of that to sort of grab

0:10:47 > 0:10:50what my character would sound like.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53And then they do that brilliant thing with that of...

0:10:53 > 0:10:56- What is that called? - It's sort of like, um...

0:10:56 > 0:10:59It's an app that they have...

0:10:59 > 0:11:00LAUGHTER

0:11:00 > 0:11:03- It's an app that they have. - A supervillain app.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05You know what? It's a supervillain app.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08Actually it's an app on the computer that they use

0:11:08 > 0:11:12to detune your voice and make it sort of menacing.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15- We've got a thing on this microphone.- Yeah.- Is this...?

0:11:15 > 0:11:18- So it's like... (DEEP VOICE) Is it on?- Yes!

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Yes, yes!

0:11:20 > 0:11:21- Yes!- She likes it.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24(DEEP VOICE) I'm sorry for the poops.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26LAUGHTER

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Yes! Yes!

0:11:31 > 0:11:32Yes!

0:11:34 > 0:11:36If I could take it back...

0:11:36 > 0:11:38I would.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41LAUGHTER

0:11:41 > 0:11:43Do a bit of Electro for us.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47(DEEP VOICE) Itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Down came Electro

0:11:50 > 0:11:52and wiped the spider out.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57How cool is that?

0:12:01 > 0:12:05So listen, The Amazing Spider-Man 2,

0:12:05 > 0:12:08it opens next Wednesday, the 16th.

0:12:08 > 0:12:09I've seen it, it's great.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12It's everything you want a Spider-Man movie to be.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14- Whoo!- It is, it's a blast, it's a ride.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16Emotional, it's everything.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Whoo!

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Whoo! Spider-Man!

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Spider-Man!

0:12:23 > 0:12:26AUDIENCE: Spider-Man! Spider-man!

0:12:26 > 0:12:29- Spider...- Spider-Man!

0:12:29 > 0:12:33Let's just do that for 40 minutes and drink wine.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35Cheers.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38I don't know if I should encourage it.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41So listen, we're going to watch a clip to get us in the mood.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44This is Spider-Man and Electro facing off in Times Square.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47This is the first time you meet, as Electro, in Times Square.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49- You were there too?- Yes.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51What's going on with me?

0:12:51 > 0:12:53I can see that... I can believe you.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Strange.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58I feel like I got so much of this.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01I got so much anger.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03I can see that, I can see you don't want to be here.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06I can see you're scared, you don't know what's happening to you.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08I can see you don't want to hurt anybody.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10- It's going to be all right. - Got a clear shot, standing by.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12- I don't want them shooting me any more.- I won't shoot you.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16You guys, this is my buddy Matt. I told you about Matt.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18No-one shoots at Matt.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20You and me, it's just you and me talking.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Whoa! Stay there, just be careful.

0:13:23 > 0:13:24The grate is the electricity.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26I just...

0:13:27 > 0:13:29I just wanted everyone to see me.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31He makes a move, you take that shot.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33How about you come with me, we'll go somewhere and talk,

0:13:33 > 0:13:35away from all these people, OK?

0:13:35 > 0:13:36Yeah.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40No, don't!

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Oh, sweet Jesus!

0:13:43 > 0:13:46- APPLAUSE - Whoo!

0:13:48 > 0:13:50- Wow!- That is some poopy stuff.

0:13:50 > 0:13:54Listen, Spider-Man and his arch-enemies, they all start off

0:13:54 > 0:13:56as ordinary people, then something happens to them

0:13:56 > 0:14:00to give them special powers, so you get bitten by a genetic...

0:14:00 > 0:14:01No, radioactive spider.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03- A mutated spider. - Mutated spider, yeah.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Oh, yeah, all over it.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08And I don't want to give too much away about Electro,

0:14:08 > 0:14:10but, well, it's a knife and a toaster.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13LAUGHTER

0:14:13 > 0:14:15No, it's better than that, a lot better.

0:14:15 > 0:14:19So, we asked our audience of ordinary people...

0:14:19 > 0:14:21I'm not exaggerating - seriously, look at them.

0:14:24 > 0:14:29If they had any special abilities that they could reveal to us.

0:14:29 > 0:14:30- Ooh!- Oh!

0:14:30 > 0:14:32And we do have... We have some now.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34Hands up, the special abilities people.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36Special abilities people?

0:14:36 > 0:14:40Oh, yes. Some people are putting up two hands, they're really special.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Are you a special person? Are you?

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Oh, stand up. What's your name?

0:14:44 > 0:14:49- Sue.- Sue. It doesn't seem special, but let's find out.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Your special power, Sue?

0:14:51 > 0:14:55(DONALD DUCK VOICE) Hello, Graham, you're my superhero.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:14:58 > 0:15:00That's fabulous.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02Well done, Sue. Anyone else?

0:15:03 > 0:15:04- Hi, what's your name?- Sam.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Sam, what's... Oh, stand up, do.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09I haven't seen a velour top in years.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12LAUGHTER

0:15:12 > 0:15:13That's fabulous.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18What's your superpower?

0:15:18 > 0:15:20I've got a really stretchy face.

0:15:23 > 0:15:24GROANS

0:15:24 > 0:15:25It's quite stretchy.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28And you're young, of course, you're young.

0:15:28 > 0:15:29Oh, more over here.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31- Hello, stand up.- Hello.

0:15:31 > 0:15:32- Hello.- I'm Annika.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Oh, and your superpower is very posh?

0:15:34 > 0:15:35Er, no, not at all.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37What is it?

0:15:37 > 0:15:40I can fit my whole fist in my mouth.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42Most people can do that, can't they?

0:15:42 > 0:15:47Old lady there going, "No. I've been asked, but no."

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Off you go.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Can I just say, are you from a nice family?

0:15:51 > 0:15:54I am, they're going to be very disappointed in me.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57Disappointed. They're going to be very disappointed.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00"Yes, we saw your daughter on the television."

0:16:00 > 0:16:02OK, off you go. It's...

0:16:02 > 0:16:05I don't know... This will be shown.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Just to warn you, just to warn you,

0:16:08 > 0:16:11when you get married, if you get married...

0:16:11 > 0:16:14- That won't happen after this. - Well, it might do.

0:16:14 > 0:16:15LAUGHTER

0:16:19 > 0:16:21This will be shown...

0:16:21 > 0:16:24This will be shown at the reception.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26So it's up to you.

0:16:26 > 0:16:29- I am ashamed, but I have to do it. - OK, do it.

0:16:30 > 0:16:34Oh, wow! She can do it!

0:16:36 > 0:16:39- Hello, what's your name?- Sarah. - What can you do, Sarah?

0:16:39 > 0:16:41I can turn into Chewbacca.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44- She can turn into Chewbacca. - Yeah.- OK.

0:16:44 > 0:16:45Let's see it.

0:16:48 > 0:16:49Microphone?

0:16:49 > 0:16:52IMITATES CHEWBACCA

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- APPLAUSE - That was really good.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57I like that a lot.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00That was a gem.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02Well done, very good.

0:17:06 > 0:17:10Now, talking of special powers, Andrew?

0:17:10 > 0:17:12- Yes.- As you grew up, I think it's fair to say

0:17:12 > 0:17:17that Andrew Garfield took British gymnastics by storm.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19Now... No, were you...?

0:17:19 > 0:17:22No, were you Olympic standard?

0:17:22 > 0:17:25No, I wasn't Olympic standard!

0:17:25 > 0:17:27You won competitions, didn't you?

0:17:27 > 0:17:30I won a bronze medal in the under-12s...

0:17:30 > 0:17:34United Kingdom Schools event.

0:17:34 > 0:17:35Hello?!

0:17:35 > 0:17:37- That's bad...- That's a big deal.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - That's a big deal.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43I loved it, though. I mean...

0:17:43 > 0:17:47- Is that how you do...? - You've got to stick the landing.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50Got to stick the landing. Yeah, do the landing.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54- Why did you give up?- There was a big, fat man who was my coach,

0:17:54 > 0:17:58- and he would sit on my back when I was doing the splits.- What?!

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- That doesn't sound right. - It was rough.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05- Yeah.- That could damage a boy. - I was eight years old.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07There's a point in adolescence where you'd just have to stop that.

0:18:07 > 0:18:11Yeah. I had the strength to say "no more".

0:18:11 > 0:18:15Here's the weird thing. People know how successful you are as an actor.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18You did try a lot of things before that.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21Like, I've never had someone on the couch before

0:18:21 > 0:18:25who at one point was considering being a professional skateboarder.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28OK, yeah.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31- No?- I mean, I considered it.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34I considered it, but I was nowhere near good enough.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38- So it took you a while to find your acting.- It did, I was very lost.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41But some people - born to perform.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Cos Emma's story, we can say this now

0:18:43 > 0:18:46because you are incredibly successful.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49But looking at pictures of you acting when you were younger,

0:18:49 > 0:18:52you don't look like God's gift to the craft.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Thank you so much, Graham!

0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Here's you in some of your earlier roles.- What?!

0:18:58 > 0:19:02- This is... - OK, that is transformative.

0:19:02 > 0:19:06I'm 13 there and I look like I'm 100.

0:19:06 > 0:19:10You were the Daniel Day-Lewis of school productions.

0:19:10 > 0:19:13Here you are as Tweedledum... or Tweedledee.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16- I was Tweedledum.- Of course, silly me.- That's me on the right.

0:19:16 > 0:19:20This next picture is one of the creepiest weirdest things.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23- Is this Otter from Wind In The Willows?- This is Otter.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26And whatever you think the costume is going to be like,

0:19:26 > 0:19:29- look at that!- I was 11. Yeah, they gave me chest hair.

0:19:29 > 0:19:31So...because I was a male...

0:19:31 > 0:19:35- I was a male otter and apparently... - Doesn't make any sense.- No.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38But it was to distinguish that I was male.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43- Amazing.- I was 11.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Thanks so much for showing that. - It's cheap, but weird.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49APPLAUSE

0:19:50 > 0:19:53I've...I've brought it all back.

0:19:54 > 0:19:58- Jamie, so, you did the stand-up, you did the music.- Yep.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01But then, I want to come to the acting.

0:20:01 > 0:20:05- Now, was the first big audition for Any Given Sunday?- First audition

0:20:05 > 0:20:07for Any Given Sunday with Oliver Stone,

0:20:07 > 0:20:10which was... which was...

0:20:10 > 0:20:12crazy because when I did the audition, he...

0:20:12 > 0:20:14After I did my audition,

0:20:14 > 0:20:17he says, "Well, you're just terrible, aren't you?"

0:20:17 > 0:20:21And I was like, "What?" And he says, "Yeah, you, you, you,

0:20:21 > 0:20:22"you stink."

0:20:22 > 0:20:25- LAUGHTER - And I was like, "What?"

0:20:25 > 0:20:28And as I'm walking out, he is writing in his tablet,

0:20:28 > 0:20:33he says, "Jamie Foxx, slave to television."

0:20:33 > 0:20:37And, so, I leave, and I say, "I don't want to deal with this dude."

0:20:37 > 0:20:40And then, I get a call that says "He actually wants you to come back

0:20:40 > 0:20:42"for the agent part, he likes you."

0:20:42 > 0:20:44I come back and I'm pissed, I'm like, "Yo, man,

0:20:44 > 0:20:46"I was really pissed at how you said I was this."

0:20:46 > 0:20:50He says, "Yeah, well, I need someone to play the lead part because someone else

0:20:50 > 0:20:52"was going to play it and they fell out, we need you to play it."

0:20:52 > 0:20:55He says, "But you've got to get better." I said, "What do you mean?"

0:20:55 > 0:20:57He says, "You're a television actor.

0:20:57 > 0:21:01"And television actors are loud,

0:21:01 > 0:21:04"while movies is more, you know, subtle."

0:21:04 > 0:21:06So I couldn't get it right.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10But what I did was, as opposed to doing all of the readings,

0:21:10 > 0:21:14I was playing quarterback on this football team, this young,

0:21:14 > 0:21:15black cocky quarterback,

0:21:15 > 0:21:19so I went and made a video tape of me as the quarterback.

0:21:19 > 0:21:24And we did this whole like... I made up this practice session and

0:21:24 > 0:21:27- we made up a song because my name was Willie Beamen.- # My name is... #

0:21:27 > 0:21:29Yeah. Yeah, yeah! So, I made up the song.

0:21:29 > 0:21:32- # My name is Willie - BOTH: Willie Beamen

0:21:32 > 0:21:34- # I keep the ladies - BOTH: Screaming. #

0:21:34 > 0:21:36LAUGHTER

0:21:36 > 0:21:38And we turn it into him and...

0:21:38 > 0:21:41- # You're dreaming... # - Dreaming, what?

0:21:41 > 0:21:46LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:21:46 > 0:21:48But, uh...

0:21:48 > 0:21:51So I ended up getting the part because of the tape.

0:21:51 > 0:21:56But I learned about being a television actor and even

0:21:56 > 0:22:01to the point where I actually went to audition for Jerry Maguire.

0:22:01 > 0:22:05And the story with that, Tom Cruise was doing Jerry Maguire.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08So the guy sees me read in LA and he says,

0:22:08 > 0:22:11"I want you to go and read for a TC in New York." I said, "Who?" "TC!"

0:22:11 > 0:22:13I said, "I don't know who..."

0:22:13 > 0:22:16"Tom Cruise." I went, "Oh, Tom Cruise." So, I go to read,

0:22:16 > 0:22:19but as I'm reading, I'm loud. "Show me the money!"

0:22:19 > 0:22:21Know what I mean!

0:22:21 > 0:22:23- Right? - LAUGHTER

0:22:23 > 0:22:27That is all I'm saying. "Show ME the money!" And, so, Tom...

0:22:27 > 0:22:30That's good. I thought that was great.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33And then the way Tom Cruise reads his line, it was like this.

0:22:33 > 0:22:39HE MOUTHS

0:22:39 > 0:22:41So I thought he lost his place.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43Cos I couldn't hear. So I said, "We're right here."

0:22:43 > 0:22:46He says, "I know. I said the line. I'm waiting on you." I'm like, "Oh!"

0:22:46 > 0:22:48LAUGHTER

0:22:48 > 0:22:49So now, I'm sweating.

0:22:49 > 0:22:53I'm like, "I lost my place, I went blind."

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Anyway, I didn't get the part.

0:22:55 > 0:22:58And, you know, of course, Cuba Gooding got the part

0:22:58 > 0:23:03and he won an Oscar. But I had to learn how to bring it down.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06And then, later on, I did Collateral with Tom Cruise

0:23:06 > 0:23:09and then got nominated for an Oscar.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Same year. You won.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14- Yeah.- Double nomination.- Yeah.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16I like the story, though... I like the story of

0:23:16 > 0:23:20you learning that Tom Cruise was the star.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22Oh, yeah, that was the other thing.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25When I did get in Collateral, you know,

0:23:25 > 0:23:29I was sort of like... Michael Mann was like, "Hey, you better keep your stuff together

0:23:29 > 0:23:32"because I'm making sure this movie works for the big star."

0:23:32 > 0:23:34And this is how I knew I wasn't a big star.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36We're in the car and we're driving,

0:23:36 > 0:23:41we're supposed to do this stunt where I crash into another car.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43Right? But it's supposed to be a stunt.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45But what happens is the car gets out of control

0:23:45 > 0:23:48and I actually do crash into the car.

0:23:48 > 0:23:49And when they get there,

0:23:49 > 0:23:52they're like, "Jamie, get out of the way! Tom! Are you OK?"

0:23:52 > 0:23:54LAUGHTER

0:23:54 > 0:23:58And that's why you know where you are.

0:23:58 > 0:23:59Andrew, do you have that now?

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Because, you know, you're Spider-Man,

0:24:02 > 0:24:06which is... That's a... You know, it's not just a franchise,

0:24:06 > 0:24:08you are the keeper of the keys. So are you allowed to do anything?

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Are you wrapped in cotton wool now?

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Am I wrapped in cotton wool?

0:24:12 > 0:24:14Um, no, I don't allow it.

0:24:14 > 0:24:15I don't allow that.

0:24:15 > 0:24:19I think that there might be some vain attempt at that,

0:24:19 > 0:24:21because, you know, if I die, that's...

0:24:21 > 0:24:23LAUGHTER

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Outside of the personal tragedy,

0:24:25 > 0:24:29it could cost the studio a lot of money.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33He never takes the mask off again.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36"There's some Hotpoint. Oh, it's stuck."

0:24:36 > 0:24:38"Oh, I can't!"

0:24:38 > 0:24:41Just like old voice recording of me from previous films,

0:24:41 > 0:24:45- different accents patched together. - You've to take care of you, brother.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47No, you do not, no, you do not.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49Hey, buddy, we don't get...

0:24:49 > 0:24:50LAUGHTER

0:24:50 > 0:24:53See what I mean? It's like... APPLAUSE

0:24:53 > 0:24:55It ain't show friends, it's show business.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57You know what I'm saying, you don't show up.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00LAUGHTER

0:25:00 > 0:25:02But I will say this, once you guys see the film, the chemistry

0:25:02 > 0:25:07that these two have between them is just, I mean, it's sort of...

0:25:07 > 0:25:11You're there to see Spider-Man and all the web and the flying and saving people and all of that,

0:25:11 > 0:25:15But they have a love story that to me, it touched me.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Well, we've got a little clip.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20This is that chemistry between the two of you.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22- That's all we need to know. - HE SCOFFS

0:25:22 > 0:25:24LAUGHTER

0:25:24 > 0:25:28- Who's that guy?- It was an accident and they're covering it up.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32Is that it? This is the maintenance closet.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35This is the most cliched hiding place you could have chosen.

0:25:35 > 0:25:40Oh, I'm sorry I didn't take us to the Bahamas of hiding places.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42Listen...

0:25:46 > 0:25:50- You just kissed me.- How did you like it?- It felt a little bit rushed.

0:25:50 > 0:25:55- I know. This is the plan. You get the elevator and I distract him, OK?- OK.

0:26:03 > 0:26:08- Ooh!- God.- I'm so... I've just spilt that all over you.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10I didn't do that. Oh! And you too?

0:26:11 > 0:26:14- Stay right there! - Wait, wait, wait!- Hey!

0:26:14 > 0:26:17All right. I'm sorry, I'm all thumbs today. Whoo!

0:26:17 > 0:26:22APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:26:24 > 0:26:27Now, here's the thing. Emma, for you,

0:26:27 > 0:26:30what is the hold that the Spice Girls have over you?

0:26:30 > 0:26:33- Is this real?- Yes, it's real!

0:26:33 > 0:26:35And I just feel like I have been talking more

0:26:35 > 0:26:39about the Spice Girls on this press tour than I have about the movie.

0:26:39 > 0:26:43- That is because you wept in Australia!- I know. I wept.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46- Did you really weep?- I really did. - Which one was talking to you?- Mel B.

0:26:46 > 0:26:49And was she really talking to you or was it a message?

0:26:49 > 0:26:54- No, it was a video message on an iPad.- And that made you cry?- Yes!

0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Were you jet-lagged?- Yes!

0:26:56 > 0:27:00But I also... You don't understand... You DO understand,

0:27:00 > 0:27:03we're in the UK. I was... I was a fiend.

0:27:03 > 0:27:05I was obsessed with the Spice Girls.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08And they taught me about girl power.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11And I LOVE them! I think they're fantastic.

0:27:11 > 0:27:13What's the song?

0:27:13 > 0:27:17There are so many, Jamie. There are so many.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19- # Colours of the world - Spice up your life

0:27:19 > 0:27:22- # Every boy and every girl - Spice up your life. #

0:27:22 > 0:27:24There are so many, and they're so fantastic.

0:27:24 > 0:27:28And, today, on the radio, Mel C talked to me over Skype.

0:27:28 > 0:27:31- Oh, wow!- So, it's really very exciting.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33OK, who would you say is your favourite Spice Girl?

0:27:33 > 0:27:36- Emma Bunton. Baby Spice. - Your favourite?- She's my favourite.

0:27:36 > 0:27:38- Who's next? - LAUGHTER

0:27:38 > 0:27:39Don't do that!

0:27:39 > 0:27:41Just a question.

0:27:41 > 0:27:44- All of the other four. - LAUGHTER

0:27:44 > 0:27:45So, Emma Bunton.

0:27:45 > 0:27:49Well, Emma Bunton was the one that... I had blonde hair and bangs

0:27:49 > 0:27:53and my name, obviously, is... now Emma, my name WAS Emily

0:27:53 > 0:27:54but it was taken

0:27:54 > 0:27:58- when I became an actor. - LAUGHTER

0:27:58 > 0:28:02Um, and so... Now it's Emma and, yeah, I love...

0:28:02 > 0:28:06So one gave you a video message and one talked to you on Skype.

0:28:06 > 0:28:10- Yes.- Are you telling me you've never met a Spice Girl?- Are you going to do something?

0:28:10 > 0:28:13- Are you going to do something? - Have you never met a Spice Girl?

0:28:13 > 0:28:16Wait, hold on. I have to mentally prepare myself.

0:28:16 > 0:28:18Have you never met a Spice Girl?

0:28:18 > 0:28:21- Not in the flesh.- OK.

0:28:21 > 0:28:23- Now, as you know...- Don't!

0:28:23 > 0:28:26As you know, as you know, Emma,

0:28:26 > 0:28:32it's very rare for more than one Spice Girl to appear together...

0:28:32 > 0:28:35WHOOPING

0:28:35 > 0:28:37..for any reason

0:28:37 > 0:28:38at all.

0:28:38 > 0:28:40DRUM ROLL

0:28:42 > 0:28:44So they're not here.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:28:53 > 0:28:55We tried!

0:28:55 > 0:28:56We tried.

0:28:56 > 0:28:59Emma Bunton's on holidays.

0:28:59 > 0:29:03- Just forget it.- Honestly. - Just forget it.- Geri Halliwell...

0:29:03 > 0:29:06Geri Halliwell's phone is disconnected.

0:29:06 > 0:29:10I rang her and it was like, "This number is no longer in use."

0:29:10 > 0:29:11Hilarious.

0:29:11 > 0:29:14- All right.- You'll meet them. - Some day.

0:29:14 > 0:29:16I got really excited.

0:29:16 > 0:29:18Posh is busy.

0:29:18 > 0:29:21Just as good, though, that was just as good.

0:29:21 > 0:29:23- That was pretty close.- And quicker.

0:29:23 > 0:29:25It was a lot quicker, yeah.

0:29:25 > 0:29:29But actually, weirdly, Andrew Garfield,

0:29:29 > 0:29:31you too have a Spice Girl connection.

0:29:31 > 0:29:33No, I don't!

0:29:33 > 0:29:35- Yes, you do.- Where are you getting this from?

0:29:35 > 0:29:37Didn't someone, didn't a lovely lady...

0:29:37 > 0:29:42a lovely lady, didn't she ask you out through the medium of...

0:29:42 > 0:29:44the Spice Girls' music?

0:29:44 > 0:29:47- Yes.- Thank you very much.

0:29:47 > 0:29:49How did you know that?

0:29:49 > 0:29:54- You must have told somebody. - Only my deeply intimate friends.

0:29:54 > 0:29:56Somebody blabbed.

0:29:56 > 0:30:00This is...this is kind of a hard story for me, actually.

0:30:00 > 0:30:03- Oh, no, sorry! - This was my first love.

0:30:03 > 0:30:06- AUDIENCE: Aww! - Yeah. And her name was Sarah.

0:30:06 > 0:30:07Aww!

0:30:07 > 0:30:11Yeah, and we... She asked me out and it was...

0:30:11 > 0:30:14I was getting picked up by my mum at school

0:30:14 > 0:30:18and I was 13 and she said... she was singing...

0:30:18 > 0:30:22# If you wanna be my lover You gotta get with my friends... #

0:30:22 > 0:30:24Then she said, "Do you wanna be my lover?"

0:30:24 > 0:30:27She was very tall, much taller than me.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29- And she was very beautiful.- I'm sure.

0:30:29 > 0:30:32And I...and I said, "Yeah, all right."

0:30:32 > 0:30:34LAUGHTER And she was like,

0:30:34 > 0:30:37"I'm having a gathering of people at my house tonight.

0:30:37 > 0:30:39"Just a small group of people."

0:30:39 > 0:30:41I said, "All right, yeah. Am I invited?"

0:30:41 > 0:30:45And she was like, "Yeah, are you coming?" I was like, "Yeah, OK."

0:30:45 > 0:30:48So I went, and four hours later she broke up with me.

0:30:48 > 0:30:52- Aww!- She dumped me for some bloke at Epsom College.

0:30:52 > 0:30:56- Oh! - AUDIENCE BOOS

0:30:56 > 0:30:59- No, no, it's OK now.- Have you seen...

0:30:59 > 0:31:01Have you seen Sarah since?

0:31:01 > 0:31:04DRUM ROLL

0:31:06 > 0:31:08Don't do it, don't do it!

0:31:08 > 0:31:11- No, no, no.- Come on out, Sarah.

0:31:13 > 0:31:15- Come on out. - That would be ridiculous.

0:31:16 > 0:31:20Yeah, yeah, no, course, I was 13 at a party at school. It still hurts.

0:31:20 > 0:31:24- I was obsessed with her for a long time.- Here's the thing,

0:31:24 > 0:31:27Jamie, great musician, you must have used your music

0:31:27 > 0:31:29at some time to woo a woman.

0:31:29 > 0:31:33I'd be... I'd use whatever I could... Whatever.

0:31:33 > 0:31:35LAUGHTER

0:31:35 > 0:31:37I'd use whatever I've got, baby.

0:31:37 > 0:31:41I have to say, listen, this is one of my favourite songs.

0:31:41 > 0:31:44This is Storm. Listen to this, listen how hot this is.

0:31:44 > 0:31:47# Lights out like a power outage

0:31:47 > 0:31:51# Cos of the lightning in your bedspring showers

0:31:51 > 0:31:55# I can feel the mist every time we kissed... #

0:31:55 > 0:31:59There's almost a Spider-Man link because it starts off with...

0:31:59 > 0:32:01"Lights out like a power outage."

0:32:01 > 0:32:04# Lights out like a power outage... #

0:32:04 > 0:32:07CHEERING

0:32:07 > 0:32:10# ..Cos of the lightning in your bedspring showers

0:32:10 > 0:32:13# I could feel the mist every time we kissed

0:32:13 > 0:32:17# Just didn't know a downpour like this

0:32:17 > 0:32:21# There's a flash flood warning

0:32:21 > 0:32:25# Will it bring rain in the morning?

0:32:25 > 0:32:27# And there'll be puddles in the bed... #

0:32:27 > 0:32:29I don't want to get too....

0:32:29 > 0:32:31- CHEERING - Now wait...

0:32:31 > 0:32:35- No, wait, let me finish. - There are questions to be asked.

0:32:35 > 0:32:39The words were... # There'll be puddles in the bed

0:32:39 > 0:32:42# The weatherman said. #

0:32:42 > 0:32:44Yeah, but...why were there puddles in the bed?

0:32:44 > 0:32:46Was she an older lady?

0:32:46 > 0:32:48Oh!

0:32:48 > 0:32:51LAUGHTER

0:32:52 > 0:32:55Listen, I've got the lyrics. "Girl, the weatherman said

0:32:55 > 0:32:58"it's cloudy skies right there between your thighs."

0:32:58 > 0:33:00LAUGHTER

0:33:02 > 0:33:05"I want it soakin' wet all over the bed."

0:33:07 > 0:33:10- Do you sing these lyrics?! - He wrote them!- Hey, man...

0:33:10 > 0:33:13LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:33:17 > 0:33:20Hey, it sounds much better when you sing 'em.

0:33:22 > 0:33:25You just can't READ the lyrics.

0:33:25 > 0:33:27They'll sound a little crazy.

0:33:29 > 0:33:31OK, it is time for music.

0:33:31 > 0:33:33This is one of the brightest stars to emerge in the last few years,

0:33:33 > 0:33:37he's now found global success and is back with a brand-new album.

0:33:37 > 0:33:40Performing his current single Scream, Funk My Life Up,

0:33:40 > 0:33:43please welcome Paolo Nutini!

0:33:43 > 0:33:44CHEERING

0:33:50 > 0:33:53# Na-na, na-na-na

0:33:53 > 0:33:55# Na-na, na-na

0:33:57 > 0:34:00# Yeah, how was I to know you'd just come along?

0:34:01 > 0:34:03# And funk my life up

0:34:03 > 0:34:06# Lips like they've been singing sexed-up strawberry songs

0:34:06 > 0:34:08# Just funk my life up

0:34:08 > 0:34:10# Never heard her coming Thought it was just another woman

0:34:10 > 0:34:12# With a shotgun in her hand

0:34:12 > 0:34:14# Funk my life up

0:34:14 > 0:34:17# She's the bass, she's the beat She's the rhythm, she's the band

0:34:17 > 0:34:19# Just funk my life up

0:34:19 > 0:34:21# Oh, that girl, so fine

0:34:21 > 0:34:24# Makes you wanna scream hallelujah

0:34:24 > 0:34:27# Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey

0:34:27 > 0:34:30# Yeah-eh-eh-eh

0:34:30 > 0:34:35# Sly hands, spinning webs like silk

0:34:35 > 0:34:39# Beats are dripping on me like spider milk

0:34:40 > 0:34:43# And I never heard the warning when I woke up this morning

0:34:43 > 0:34:46# With my sunshine on a drip

0:34:46 > 0:34:50# She's my rock, she's my bud She's tequila, she's a trip

0:34:50 > 0:34:53# And that girl, so fine

0:34:53 > 0:34:56# Makes you wanna scream hallelujah

0:34:57 > 0:35:00# Yeah-eh-eh-eh

0:35:00 > 0:35:02# Yeah-eh-eh-eh

0:35:02 > 0:35:05# How could I refuse? I'm not fit to choose

0:35:05 > 0:35:07# Just funk my life up

0:35:07 > 0:35:11# Said the only way I win is the way I lose

0:35:11 > 0:35:13# Just funk my life up

0:35:13 > 0:35:14# And I never got the script I unzipped

0:35:14 > 0:35:17# Got a little bit of wet up in my brain

0:35:17 > 0:35:18# Just funk my life up

0:35:18 > 0:35:22# She's your church, she's your sin She's atomic, she's the...

0:35:22 > 0:35:24# Oh, she's the rain

0:35:27 > 0:35:29# Yeah-eh-eh-eh-eh

0:35:29 > 0:35:31# And that girl, so fine

0:35:31 > 0:35:34# Makes you wanna scream

0:35:34 > 0:35:37# Heyyyyyy!

0:35:37 > 0:35:39# Heyyyyy!

0:35:42 > 0:35:44# Yeah, yeah

0:35:45 > 0:35:47# She gets me silly She's like a trick on me

0:35:47 > 0:35:49# Hell, I don't even know her name

0:35:49 > 0:35:51# But yet she sticks to me

0:35:51 > 0:35:54# And in the climax She would scream with me

0:35:54 > 0:35:56# Oh, yeah, she sticks to me

0:35:56 > 0:35:58# She gets me funny She doesn't want none of my money

0:35:58 > 0:36:01# So I pour it over her like gasoline

0:36:01 > 0:36:04# Light a match and then I'm back in my teens

0:36:04 > 0:36:07# Me and super girl smoking my green

0:36:07 > 0:36:09# Me and super girl smoking my green

0:36:09 > 0:36:12# Unload, reload

0:36:12 > 0:36:15# Eyes back swing

0:36:15 > 0:36:18# Sweet thing, knows things

0:36:18 > 0:36:20# Jeff Beck sings

0:36:20 > 0:36:25# Roundhouse, knock-down, let's go!

0:36:25 > 0:36:28# And the girl's so fine

0:36:28 > 0:36:31# Makes you wanna scream hallelujah

0:36:31 > 0:36:34# Hallelujah!

0:36:36 > 0:36:38# Yeah, the girl, so fine

0:36:38 > 0:36:42# Makes you wanna scream

0:36:42 > 0:36:44# Yeah-eh-eh-eh-eh

0:36:44 > 0:36:47# Yeah-eh-eh-eh-eh

0:36:47 > 0:36:49# Yeah-eh-eh-eh-eh

0:36:49 > 0:36:53# Yeah-eh-eh-eh-eh. #

0:36:54 > 0:36:56CHEERING

0:36:56 > 0:36:57- GRAHAM:- Woo!

0:36:59 > 0:37:01Thank you.

0:37:01 > 0:37:03Paolo Nutini, everybody!

0:37:03 > 0:37:09Come and join me. Very good, beautiful. Come and meet Jamie Foxx.

0:37:09 > 0:37:12- Good job. - Good to see you again, sir.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15Emma Stone, Andrew Garfield, Paolo Nutini.

0:37:15 > 0:37:16Paolo Nutini.

0:37:16 > 0:37:20- PROJECTS HIS VOICE:- Paolo Nutini! - AUDIENCE: Woo!

0:37:20 > 0:37:24- Where do I go...anywhere? - Sit, it's all lovely.

0:37:24 > 0:37:26You've got all the wine. ANDREW: You can share this, it's fine.

0:37:26 > 0:37:29That is the new album, Caustic Love,

0:37:29 > 0:37:31which is out...next Monday?

0:37:31 > 0:37:32- Monday the 14th.- Yes.

0:37:32 > 0:37:35Sounding great, looking great. Are you enjoying...

0:37:35 > 0:37:38Cos I remember when I first met you, you were loving doing the gigs

0:37:38 > 0:37:41and stuff, but you were less fond of all this hoo-ha nonsense,

0:37:41 > 0:37:44are you enjoying that more?

0:37:44 > 0:37:47I'm not used to it at all, I've not been doing much of this, man.

0:37:47 > 0:37:48GRAHAM LAUGHS

0:37:48 > 0:37:51Last three years I've been keeping myself to myself.

0:37:51 > 0:37:55- You did kind of vanish for a while. - Yes, yes.- What were you doing?

0:37:55 > 0:37:57I know it's none of my business, but...

0:37:57 > 0:37:59LAUGHTER

0:37:59 > 0:38:03I was wandering, wandering around looking for adventure.

0:38:03 > 0:38:06- Did you find it? - Yeah, I found a fair bit of it, yeah.

0:38:06 > 0:38:08AUDIENCE: Woo!

0:38:08 > 0:38:10APPLAUSE

0:38:10 > 0:38:12I think you found a lot of adventure.

0:38:12 > 0:38:15So listen, good luck with the album, I can't wait to get

0:38:15 > 0:38:17my hands on it, cos I haven't got my free copy yet - just saying.

0:38:19 > 0:38:21Before we go tonight, just time for a story or two

0:38:21 > 0:38:23in the red chair. Who's there?

0:38:24 > 0:38:28- Hello!- Hello!- What's your name? - Wendy.- And where do you live?

0:38:28 > 0:38:32- Torquay, in Devon.- Oh, beautiful, beautiful.- UNDER HIS VOICE:- I dunno.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34LAUGHTER

0:38:34 > 0:38:37- And what do you do in Torquay? - I have a bed and breakfast.

0:38:37 > 0:38:41- It's classic, Torquay.- We'll come and stay.- No, you're not, Jamie.

0:38:41 > 0:38:46- I'm shutting that down right now. - It's a boutique B&B, Graham.

0:38:46 > 0:38:48A boutique B&B, lovely(!)

0:38:48 > 0:38:51- Lovely. - That means the sink's in the room.

0:38:56 > 0:38:58All right, off you go with your story.

0:38:58 > 0:39:03A few years I had a young couple staying with me after their wedding.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06So I said, "There's only really one rule in the house,

0:39:06 > 0:39:08"and that's whatever happens, there's no sex in the house,

0:39:08 > 0:39:10"because if I'm not getting it, nobody's getting it."

0:39:15 > 0:39:17So the next morning they came down for breakfast

0:39:17 > 0:39:19and they were quite upset, and they said,

0:39:19 > 0:39:22"Look, we're really sorry, but we're going to have to move out."

0:39:22 > 0:39:23And I said, "Why's that?"

0:39:23 > 0:39:26So they said, "We broke your rule last night."

0:39:27 > 0:39:29And I felt so awful that I had to let them

0:39:29 > 0:39:31stay for free for the whole four days.

0:39:31 > 0:39:33- Aww.- AUDIENCE: Aww.

0:39:33 > 0:39:36We'll let her walk? We'll let her walk. You can walk.

0:39:39 > 0:39:40Idiots.

0:39:41 > 0:39:45Unless, when she got into the room, she was going to discover that...

0:39:45 > 0:39:48- Broken pictures, lamps turned over. - Puddles everywhere.

0:39:48 > 0:39:50Puddles on the bed!

0:39:50 > 0:39:52Oh, yeah, puddles. "The weatherman said..."

0:39:52 > 0:39:54LAUGHTER

0:39:56 > 0:39:58GRAHAM LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

0:40:01 > 0:40:03A high tide in Torquay.

0:40:04 > 0:40:08- Who's next? Hello, sir.- Hi. Hi, Graham.

0:40:08 > 0:40:11- What's your name, sir?- Robert. - What do you do for a living, Robert?

0:40:11 > 0:40:13- I'm a butler.- A butler?!

0:40:13 > 0:40:16- AUDIENCE: Ooh! - Actual butler, ohh.

0:40:16 > 0:40:19And do you work with a team, or do you just show up yourself?

0:40:19 > 0:40:22Generally it's individual, working on an individual basis,

0:40:22 > 0:40:25but often you meet other butlers you know from the circuit.

0:40:25 > 0:40:27LAUGHTER

0:40:27 > 0:40:30Is "butler" a euphemism for something?

0:40:33 > 0:40:37"I'm a, eh, 'butler.' "

0:40:37 > 0:40:39"Your every 'need.' "

0:40:40 > 0:40:42Off you go with your story, sir.

0:40:42 > 0:40:45My story is, when I was a butler beforehand,

0:40:45 > 0:40:47I used to be for a noble family,

0:40:47 > 0:40:51and my duties would be run the bath, prepare the clothes.

0:40:51 > 0:40:54And on this occasion I went round to my boss's room,

0:40:54 > 0:40:57knocked on the door very loudly, he didn't respond, so I went in

0:40:57 > 0:40:59- and he was masturbating.- Ooh!

0:40:59 > 0:41:01GASPS

0:41:03 > 0:41:05- Can I ask a question?- Yes.

0:41:05 > 0:41:09Isn't there, like, a...? Can you tell stories like that?

0:41:09 > 0:41:12That's not a story, that's just a thing that happened!

0:41:12 > 0:41:14- How awful. - He must find him doing it

0:41:14 > 0:41:16all the time, isn't that the point of a butler?

0:41:16 > 0:41:19Yeah, cos he was kind of calm, the way he delivered it.

0:41:19 > 0:41:22It was something else he was going to say that was exciting.

0:41:22 > 0:41:24"He was masturbating, and then..."

0:41:25 > 0:41:28"A horse wandered out of the bathroom."

0:41:33 > 0:41:37- Shall we try one more? Hello. - Hi, Graham.- What's your name?

0:41:37 > 0:41:40- My name's Nigel.- Lovely, and where do you hail from, Nigel?

0:41:40 > 0:41:43I hail from 100 yards up the road on the South Bank.

0:41:43 > 0:41:47- Oh, right. Do you live there? - I do.- Oh, right, very good.

0:41:47 > 0:41:49Presumably you work in London as well?

0:41:49 > 0:41:51No, I'm now a retired estate agent,

0:41:51 > 0:41:52but please don't hold that against me.

0:41:52 > 0:41:56Wait a minute - how much money did you make?

0:41:56 > 0:41:57- I married well, Graham.- Ohhhh.

0:41:58 > 0:42:02- Fantastic. Oh, you don't...?- Pull the lever.- Do it, Andrew, you can.

0:42:02 > 0:42:05You have the power, Andrew, you're right there.

0:42:05 > 0:42:07AUDIENCE SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT No, no. no.

0:42:09 > 0:42:10No, no, no, no.

0:42:13 > 0:42:17OK, this is much cleaner. I had a vasectomy, erm...

0:42:17 > 0:42:19LAUGHTER

0:42:21 > 0:42:25- Go on, Andrew.- No, but maybe it was for health reasons!

0:42:27 > 0:42:29It was a vasectomy,

0:42:29 > 0:42:33and I remember getting a call from the hospital a few months afterwards

0:42:33 > 0:42:36saying can I please produce a sample and take it in,

0:42:36 > 0:42:39because they wanted to confirm that the operation had worked.

0:42:39 > 0:42:42So I was in the office at the time, and I went out the back

0:42:42 > 0:42:43of the office with property magazines.

0:42:43 > 0:42:45He's the one that was masturbating.

0:42:47 > 0:42:48It's the same story!

0:42:51 > 0:42:53And I produced my sample, put it in a little pot

0:42:53 > 0:42:55and put it in my breast pocket...

0:42:55 > 0:42:56And your butler walked in.

0:42:58 > 0:43:00I had to keep it warm, uh...

0:43:01 > 0:43:03I did the deed and ran quickly

0:43:03 > 0:43:07across the local Sainsbury's car park to the hospital,

0:43:07 > 0:43:10but didn't realise the lid of the jar had come off.

0:43:10 > 0:43:12AUDIENCE: Eugh!

0:43:15 > 0:43:17I got to the hospital and the nurse looked at me

0:43:17 > 0:43:19with a huge smile on her face, realised what had happened,

0:43:19 > 0:43:22and said, "I'm sorry, you're going to have to come again, sir."

0:43:22 > 0:43:24Wahey!

0:43:25 > 0:43:28You can walk, go on.

0:43:28 > 0:43:30Great job.

0:43:30 > 0:43:33Boom-boom. Well done, everyone.

0:43:33 > 0:43:34If you'd like to join us on the show

0:43:34 > 0:43:36and have a go on the red chair, you can.

0:43:36 > 0:43:38Just contact us via the website at this very address.

0:43:38 > 0:43:41Thank you to my guests tonight - Paolo Nutini!

0:43:43 > 0:43:45Jamie Foxx!

0:43:46 > 0:43:50Emma Stone!

0:43:50 > 0:43:52And Mr Andrew Garfield!

0:43:52 > 0:43:55Join us next week, we've got music from Imelda May,

0:43:55 > 0:43:57Oscar-winning actress Juliette Binoche,

0:43:57 > 0:44:01Office genius Ricky Gervais and comedy legend Mr Ronnie Corbett.

0:44:01 > 0:44:03I'll see you then, good night, everybody, bye-bye!

0:44:03 > 0:44:05CHEERING