0:00:02 > 0:00:04Tonight I am so lucky, two of my favourite actresses
0:00:04 > 0:00:08and Chandler Bing from Friends. No-one said life would be this way.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10SHORT BURST OF APPLAUSE They remembered!
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Let's start the show!
0:00:12 > 0:00:19This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31Oh! Oh! Oh!
0:00:31 > 0:00:35Hello! Hi, hi! Hi!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Hello! Hello, good evening!
0:00:38 > 0:00:42Well done, everyone, one, two, three, four. Excellent. Very good.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Great guests tonight, and here's an interesting thing.
0:00:45 > 0:00:50One of them is about to star in the West End as Nell Gwynn.
0:00:50 > 0:00:55Nell Gwynn, King Charles II's bawdy lover, ladies and gentlemen.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58WHISTLING There's the actual Nell Gwynn.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01And she was famous, of course, for selling oranges.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Interesting, though, if you google the words woman and orange,
0:01:04 > 0:01:06you actually get this.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09LAUGHTER
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Rumour has it that Nell Gwynn was attracted to King Charles II
0:01:12 > 0:01:14because he was so incredibly rich.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17But, would a beautiful woman behave like that nowadays?
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Let's get my guests on!
0:01:23 > 0:01:27Later, we'll have music from rising star Jack Savoretti.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32But, first, she's gone from Gravesend to the West End,
0:01:32 > 0:01:35starring in movies like St Trinian's, Quantum Of Solace, Tamara Drewe,
0:01:35 > 0:01:38and last year's sell-out musical Made In Dagenham.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Please welcome Gemma Arterton!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:46 > 0:01:51Look at you, you're like liquid silver. Mercury. Sit down, sit down.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55She's the Bafta award-winning actress
0:01:55 > 0:01:57who's delighted us with countless roles over the years,
0:01:57 > 0:01:59including Professor Sprout in Harry Potter.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01She's quite simply a force of nature.
0:02:01 > 0:02:06It is such a warm welcome back to Miriam Margolyes.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I've come to get you. Look at you.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13You don't need help at all.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Shove up, Gemma, shove up. There you go.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21And, for ten years he was part of our lives as Chandler Bing
0:02:21 > 0:02:24in the smash hit Friends. Now he's returning to the West End
0:02:24 > 0:02:28with his play-writing debut, The End Of Longing.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Welcome, for the very first time, Mr Matthew Perry.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Hello, it's really nice to meet you. I'm really well.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Come in and sit down.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Shove up, ladies!
0:02:47 > 0:02:50You're all very welcome. Gemma, Miriam, you've been here before.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Matthew, you haven't been here before,
0:02:52 > 0:02:53you have been in London many times.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56I did, yes, I did a play here in 2003.
0:02:56 > 0:03:01- Have you chatted out the back a bit?- Very briefly.- OK.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04I don't know you, we don't know each other.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- No, we don't.- No. Not yet.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- But I'm very pleased to meet you. - It's nice to meet you, too.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Very pleased. And I think you're lovely.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16LAUGHTER
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- I think you're lovely too. - Thank you.- That's good.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22There we leave our show!
0:03:22 > 0:03:26- While it's all going well, let's stop.- She didn't say I looked lovely!
0:03:26 > 0:03:28She was very pleased to meet you.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30- That's true. - What the fuck do you want?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32LAUGHTER
0:03:33 > 0:03:35I want to look lovely.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39We're going to talk about your play, Matthew.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42But, later, because you've never been here before,
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- there will be a couple of Friends questions.- OK, that's fine.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Just to let you know, on the sofa, it's quite Yin and Yang.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Gemma Arterton over there, you lived and breathed Friends,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- you were a big fan. - I was the generation of Friends.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56I'm 30 in two weeks.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00When I was a kid, I had a Rachel haircut, the lot.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Oh! - It wasn't a good period.- No?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- Terrible.- And then, Miriam is one of those people.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12You must be in such a tiny minority in the world.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14I have never seen Friends.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16AUDIENCE GASPS
0:04:17 > 0:04:19LAUGHTER
0:04:19 > 0:04:21But that's not possible.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24You must have woken up in a hotel room and it was just on.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28RIPPLE OF LAUGHTER
0:04:28 > 0:04:31I'll show you some episodes in a hotel room.
0:04:32 > 0:04:37I'll tell you why. Many years ago, I lived in America, in Los Angeles.
0:04:37 > 0:04:44And I was part of the stable of comedy people of Norman Lear.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49And he introduced me to Marta Kauffmann and David Crane.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Yes.- And I really liked David Crane.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55And I couldn't stand Marta Kauffmann.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57I thought she was a monster.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03And they wrote Friends. So...
0:05:03 > 0:05:06I thought, bugger it, I'm not watching that!
0:05:07 > 0:05:09LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:05:09 > 0:05:11And that's the only reason.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- The only reason.- All right.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15She's actually quite a lovely woman,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- I don't know what you're talking about.- Don't say anything.- I won't.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24No need, I'd have thought, at this point, it being on telly and all.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26I think it's been said.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Now. Matthew Perry, you join us at...
0:05:29 > 0:05:33This is an amazing... This is kind of a life milestone for you
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- in that you have written a play. - I did.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38I wrote a play called The End Of Longing
0:05:38 > 0:05:41that's going to be at The Playhouse Theatre,
0:05:41 > 0:05:43opening on February the 11th. I'm very excited about it.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- And you're in it as well. - I'm in it as well.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- You're not directing it? - I'm not directing it.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51But I wrote a play, and I put myself as the lead,
0:05:51 > 0:05:54so I'm quite narcissistic.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58It starts at The Playhouse, on February the 2nd.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- February the 2nd it previews. - Previews, yes.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I suppose, a lot of people say,
0:06:03 > 0:06:07why have you chosen to debut your play in London? Why bring it here?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Well, it's an interesting question.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11I think that the play,
0:06:11 > 0:06:15it's actually a really good play for the Friends generation.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18It's about people in their 30s and 40s who are single,
0:06:18 > 0:06:22and kind of broken, and trying to make it work,
0:06:22 > 0:06:24and have a relationship with one another.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27And I think that the humour is very dark
0:06:27 > 0:06:29and I think it will really appeal to British audiences.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31It's very satirical.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33LAUGHTER
0:06:33 > 0:06:36People here will like it a lot.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40You've said that it's not autobiographical in any way.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44And yet the character you play is a lot of you.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Well, I play a drunk.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47OK.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50So...
0:06:52 > 0:06:56- It's a slightly exaggerated form of myself.- Yes.
0:06:56 > 0:07:01- Were you an alcoholic at one time? - I still am.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- Not really?- Well, yes.- I don't think you ever stop.- No, you always are.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07You always are. I'm a recovering alcoholic.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09I'm glad we are talking about this!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11LAUGHTER
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- You look great.- Thank you very much. Thank you.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Now, this is your first full-length play.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19But you've always been drawn to writing.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- You would go into the writers' room. - Yes.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I was in the writers' room of Friends a lot.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28And I wrote the show, I'm doing The Odd Couple, a revamp,
0:07:28 > 0:07:31in the States now. And I wrote the pilot of that.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34But the play is the first thing I've ever written by myself
0:07:34 > 0:07:36which was quite daunting and scary.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39But I've always written with a partner before.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41But the play was the first thing I've written by myself.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44It's the hardest thing to write, isn't it? Much harder.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46It's hard to face the page and there's nothing there.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49And then, all of a sudden, you make something there, yes.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- How do you...- Sorry.- Sorry.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53LAUGHTER
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Stay out of this, will you?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I'm just checking the name of the show!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01APPLAUSE
0:08:03 > 0:08:06I wanted to ask, was this something that you've had in your mind
0:08:06 > 0:08:08for a long time? Or was it...?
0:08:08 > 0:08:11I'd done that play in 2003. I did a David Mamet play.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15And I wanted to do a similar thing
0:08:15 > 0:08:18and see if I could write something similar to that.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Which is bloody hard. It must be good.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Not just anybody can get a thing on in the West End.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26- How true.- I hear my play is slightly better than Gemma's.
0:08:28 > 0:08:29AUDIENCE LAUGH AND GASP
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Let's have a play-off later, a play-off.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34The interesting thing is, because, being a stage actor,
0:08:34 > 0:08:38we don't think of you being a stage actor. But everything's been
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- in front of a live audience all these years.- True.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Yes, I'm very used to performing in front of a live audience.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48- Is The Odd Couple in front of a live audience as well?- Yes, it is.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- But they're American, an American live audience.- Yeah.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52This is going to be slightly different.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- It will be slightly different. - No, he's played the West End before.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57You've been in the West End before?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Yeah, are you paying attention to the show?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- LAUGHTER - Obviously not closely enough.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02I guess not.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06- I've already done a play on the West End.- Oh, well...
0:09:06 > 0:09:07You're laughing!
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Gemma was in a big musical last year, Made In Dagenham.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17- In that, you had to go amongst the live audience.- I did.
0:09:17 > 0:09:22- Oh, wow.- Not something I enjoy doing, I have to admit.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26I don't know if audiences even like it because they get a bit nervous.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27"What's going to happen?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30"Are you going to talk to me, or make me participate?"
0:09:30 > 0:09:32But I did go into the audience.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35It does happen where phones go off.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Can you believe it?
0:09:37 > 0:09:42Phones go off in the theatre, which is the big bugbear of mine.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45And this guy, I walked down the aisle and I have to stand there.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49And, first of all, his phone went off. Then he took a picture of me.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52So I just took it. The play was set in the 1960s
0:09:52 > 0:09:54and I said, "What's that, then?"
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I turned it off and took it away with me.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Good for you.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02You should have squeezed his testicles very hard.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Well, I did that as well.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07I think he might have enjoyed that, Miriam.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09I don't know.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Miriam, now, you've been quite bossy with audiences.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- Was it your Dickens, your one-woman Dickens show?- Um, yes.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I think it was. No. It was something in Australia I did.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22I can't actually remember what it was.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25But I was very good! And, um...
0:10:25 > 0:10:26LAUGHTER
0:10:26 > 0:10:30And everybody stood up in the audience except this one woman
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- in the front row. - GEMMA GASPS
0:10:32 > 0:10:35And I said, "Why aren't you standing up?"
0:10:37 > 0:10:41She said, good on her, she said,
0:10:41 > 0:10:44"I stood up for Derek Jacobi."
0:10:47 > 0:10:48And that put me in my place.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- Did you let her sit there, then? - What could I do?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53I wasn't going to haul her to her feet.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56You should never do that.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00Whatever the audience gives you, be grateful, and that's it.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04I know that's true. But I just thought, how could she not stand up
0:11:04 > 0:11:06when everybody else in the theatre was standing up?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- Because then she's making a point. - She's making a point.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13I said, "I think it's very rude of you."
0:11:14 > 0:11:18- Maybe she couldn't stand up. - No, she got up to go out.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:11:25 > 0:11:27So, you've said already, just to be clear.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30With this play, people who are fans of Friends,
0:11:30 > 0:11:31they will enjoy this play?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33They won't come to it thinking, "It's Friends live."
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Then go, "What the hell was that?" - No, I don't think so.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39I think it's a good play for the Friends generation.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43It's a dark comedy, a little darker than Friends was.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48- But we're all older. Life's got darker.- Life's gotten darker. Yeah.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Yeah.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53It is so weird. Even in the papers this week,
0:11:53 > 0:11:5612 years after Friends stopped,
0:11:56 > 0:11:59it's now in the papers this week because there's a rumoured reunion
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- that you're getting together. Is that true?- No, that's not true.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05- Because you'll be here. - I am going to be here, yes.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09It's not the Friends reunion that everybody's hoping for.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13They're celebrating Jim Burrows who was a director of Friends.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17And five of them are going to be on this special.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19And I'm going to introduce them from here
0:12:19 > 0:12:23because I'm doing the play here so I can't be there.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- That's a really good excuse.- Yeah.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Listen. There probably won't be a reunion, maybe there will.
0:12:29 > 0:12:35But, like so many big hits, Friends lives on in its porn parody.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38It's very true.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41I think maybe it's even more than one porn parody. It's very popular.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45- There's one that I'm familiar with. - LAUGHTER
0:12:45 > 0:12:48- I've got one here.- You do? - Is it that one?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- What is that called? - Friends At XXX Parody.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54No, the one I know about is called Fiends.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59And, in it, all of the characters are having sex with each other,
0:12:59 > 0:13:03except for Chandler who's just sitting in the corner masturbating.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07APPLAUSE
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Gemma, you're a fan. Would you like a copy of this?
0:13:13 > 0:13:14I want Fiends.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19This sounds quite good, though. Listen to this.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23"The comedy flies, as do the bodily fluids."
0:13:23 > 0:13:24Oh, wow.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26"Hilarity and deep penetration ensues."
0:13:28 > 0:13:31You can have it. Go on. Oh, no, it's out of its cover now.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Here, I think you should have this.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Actually, I've made my own.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- Miriam's been in a lot of porn. - Oh, really? I didn't realise that.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43- Only audio, though.- Only the audio?
0:13:43 > 0:13:47Yes. I've never actually done it in front of a camera.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- But you make the sounds of it. - I make the sounds.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- And I'm not doing it now.- No!
0:13:54 > 0:13:57I wasn't going to ask. You brought it up, Miriam.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01- I'd rather watch your show.- I don't think anybody really wants this.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05- Do you want it?- No.- No. Here, you can have this back.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Auction it for charity. - If we leave it there,
0:14:07 > 0:14:10by the end of the show, that'll be gone.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15- Somebody will take it.- Look at him in the shirt, he is eyeing it up.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18"If I can sack my girlfriend, I can get that into my bag."
0:14:18 > 0:14:23Now, Gemma Arterton, your play in the West End,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25you take on the role of,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28she's kind of the original raunchy actress, Nell Gwynn.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32She was the second British actress to grace the boards.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36And she was famous, not only for being an actress,
0:14:36 > 0:14:40and she was a very popular actress, but also because she became gentry.
0:14:40 > 0:14:48She had King Charles' sons, and was included into the English court.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53And so she was a Cockney girl who managed to work her way up.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Yeah. And I love the poster here. "Gemma Arterton is Nell Gwynn."
0:14:56 > 0:14:58And I like this. "Fun, funny and joyous.
0:14:58 > 0:15:03"A cast of 20. And a band. Naughty songs, merry dances. And a dog!"
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Now, Matthew Perry, take that.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- Do you have a dog? - I don't have a dog.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11- Well, there you go. - There'll be a horse by tomorrow.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15A rewrite, spuriously overnight.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17And it's at the Apollo Theatre from February 4th
0:15:17 > 0:15:20until the end of April and it's a new play.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22It's been done once before but it's still new.
0:15:22 > 0:15:27Yeah, it's brand-new, written by Jessica Swale, a young writer.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29She is brilliant and it's very, very funny.
0:15:29 > 0:15:36Sort of got Blackadder vibes and yeah, there's music, um, and
0:15:36 > 0:15:42it's just great, great fun and I'm rehearsing as we speak and it's just a laugh.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- Now, in this play, there's a fan language.- Yeah.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Is this a real thing?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Do you not know about fan language?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Fan language was created
0:15:50 > 0:15:53when women weren't allowed to talk in the company of men,
0:15:53 > 0:15:58so they created their own language with fans in order to communicate.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- Well, I've got a fan.- Ah.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02- Is this...- That's a fan. - That is a fan, yes.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05And so...
0:16:05 > 0:16:08First of all, you can speak a lot with a fan before...
0:16:08 > 0:16:11You don't even have to open your mouth.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Oh, Jesus!
0:16:13 > 0:16:14It's quite scary, isn't it?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Sit a bit further away.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20There's lots of things like, for example,
0:16:20 > 0:16:25this means we're being watched.
0:16:25 > 0:16:31- OK.- And this...means "kiss me". Kiss me.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35This means "between you and I", which is where that comes from.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Oh, I see.- And this...
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Well, you can guess what that means.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I think that's actually in the porn.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46LAUGHTER
0:16:50 > 0:16:54Gemma, you get to do your natural Cockney voice in this, don't you?
0:16:54 > 0:16:59I do. I get to do my old accent, before RADA accent.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Which is great, but then actually, she becomes...
0:17:03 > 0:17:05She speaks very, very well at the end.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Because she's an actress and she picks it up very easily.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10But when you went home with your new RADA voice,
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- Gravesend were not keen, were they? - No.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15They...well, the family weren't, you know.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18You can't get away with it with my family.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20They just put me right in my place.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- I bet they're very proud of you, darling.- They are very proud of me.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- I bet they are and so they should be.- Yeah, they are.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29But it's different when you're working class, you know,
0:17:29 > 0:17:33and you come back speaking posh, it does set people's teeth on edge.
0:17:33 > 0:17:39- Yeah, it does.- Because I have a posh voice and I wish I didn't, but I just do, and...um...
0:17:39 > 0:17:42LAUGHTER
0:17:42 > 0:17:44You can change your accent - you should do that.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46- I do. I always do. - Choose an accent a day.
0:17:46 > 0:17:51I always... If I need something in the street, I always become Scottish.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55LAUGHTER
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I've got to ask you, what do you need in the street?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00LAUGHTER
0:18:00 > 0:18:02You never know.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06Well, I mean, the time or a road or a garage, you know,
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- something like that.- Yes. - Why Scottish?
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I tell you why, and this is true.
0:18:10 > 0:18:15Scottish is a classless sound and it's friendly.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16- Mmm.- Excuse me.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- BAD SCOTTISH ACCENT:- Could you tell me where the nearest garage is?
0:18:19 > 0:18:20I don't know where I am at the moment.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23I'm just slightly lost here. Could you help me out?
0:18:23 > 0:18:26LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:18:26 > 0:18:29It's friendly. It's friendly.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33We've rumbled you now! "It's that Scottish woman I helped!"
0:18:35 > 0:18:36And now, here's a thing.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38You're on stage in the West End and obviously,
0:18:38 > 0:18:41people come to see you and you get confident, you get nervous
0:18:41 > 0:18:43but do you get nervous when your family come,
0:18:43 > 0:18:47because they don't sugar-coat what they think, do they?
0:18:47 > 0:18:48No, they...
0:18:48 > 0:18:52My family, they're very supportive,
0:18:52 > 0:18:54but they don't feel the need to, you know...
0:18:54 > 0:18:57If they don't like something, or they weren't that impressed,
0:18:57 > 0:18:59or they're a bit bored, they'll say.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01LAUGHTER
0:19:01 > 0:19:03For example, when I did Made In Dagenham,
0:19:03 > 0:19:06it was a huge deal for me, because I'm not really a singer
0:19:06 > 0:19:09and I'd been practising and my mum came and she went,
0:19:09 > 0:19:12"Hmm, the voice has gotten better."
0:19:12 > 0:19:13LAUGHTER
0:19:13 > 0:19:18But you know, in a way, she should have gone, "You're amazing!"
0:19:18 > 0:19:22Because, Miriam, now you... I'm guessing you don't sugar-coat things.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26- Do you get starstruck when you meet people?- I do sometimes.
0:19:26 > 0:19:31I remember when I was young, and I met Laurence Olivier, that was...
0:19:31 > 0:19:36I used to collect autographs at the stage door, and he came out
0:19:36 > 0:19:42and I remember so distinctly that I started to cream in my knickers.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44I could feel it.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Actually... I went all funny.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49It's true.
0:19:51 > 0:19:52D'you know what I mean?
0:19:52 > 0:19:54I know exactly what you mean.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Wherever we thought the story was going...
0:19:58 > 0:20:00I...
0:20:00 > 0:20:04I honestly don't think I've ever been more uncomfortable in my life!
0:20:04 > 0:20:07LAUGHTER
0:20:12 > 0:20:16I think that's the worst moment of my life!
0:20:16 > 0:20:19LAUGHTER
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- Oh, dear. - It can only get better.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Well, that's a lovely story, Miriam.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Thank you for sharing. I think that's in the compilation.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30That's... That's great.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35But I think that's a tribute.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Oh, it's a...it's a... No greater compliment, Miriam.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Er, yes.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42I think we should all get fans out now.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47Here you are. Fan yourself.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Thank you. Thank you very much.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54When you're sort of...Matthew Perry and you're so incredibly famous,
0:20:54 > 0:20:57you imagine you won't get starstruck when you meet people. But you did.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Is it the director, the famous director, M Night Shyamalan?
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- Oh, yes. M Night Shyamalan. - Shyamalan. That's it.- Yes.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Well, I have a story about M Night Shyamalan.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- Do you guys know who that is? - ALL: Yes.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11- The guy who directed Sixth Sense. - Yeah.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Um, in this story, I drop a few names,
0:21:14 > 0:21:16so I apologise in advance for this.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20But about 15 years ago, when The Sixth Sense came out, Bruce Willis
0:21:20 > 0:21:27won the People's Choice Award for Best Actor and he asked me to present the award to him, so I did.
0:21:27 > 0:21:33I went backstage that night and I met Haley Joel Osment from the movie and I met M Night Shyamalan.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36And about six months later, I was at this bar.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38This was back when I was drinking.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41I was with a couple of friends and M Night Shyamalan walked in.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44And he said, "Hi, Matthew." And I went, "Oh, my God.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47"Hi, how are you? Please, sit down. Join us."
0:21:47 > 0:21:49And he sat down and he joined us
0:21:49 > 0:21:51and we sat there for about an hour, talking
0:21:51 > 0:21:53and I noticed my friends sort of filtered out
0:21:53 > 0:21:57and then it was just me and M Night Shyamalan for about another hour
0:21:57 > 0:22:00and I noticed we weren't talking about show business or anything,
0:22:00 > 0:22:04we were just kind of talking about women and love and loss
0:22:04 > 0:22:06and life and all that.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10And he mentioned that there was another club opening across town
0:22:10 > 0:22:12and would I like to go with him
0:22:12 > 0:22:14and I said, "Sure, I'd love to go with you."
0:22:14 > 0:22:16And I had this weird moment,
0:22:16 > 0:22:20which I've never had before where I was convinced that
0:22:20 > 0:22:25I was going to be a big movie star as a result of this night.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Because he was laughing at all my jokes, he really was sort of into me.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I think he might have been a big Friends fan.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34- He was really liking me.- Yeah!
0:22:34 > 0:22:37And so we get to the next place and I felt comfortable enough,
0:22:37 > 0:22:38sort of drunk enough, to say,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41"We should work together sometime." And he kind of went like this...
0:22:44 > 0:22:47And I remember going, "Oh, I wish I hadn't said that."
0:22:47 > 0:22:51And then he went to the bathroom and a friend of mine came up to me and said, "How is your night going?"
0:22:51 > 0:22:55And I said, "What, are you kidding? I'm having the greatest night of my life.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59"M Night Shyamalan and I have been hanging out for the last two and a half hours. It's been great."
0:22:59 > 0:23:02And the guy... M Night Shyamalan came back from the bathroom and my friend said,
0:23:02 > 0:23:04"That's not M Night Shyamalan."
0:23:04 > 0:23:06LAUGHTER
0:23:11 > 0:23:12And it wasn't.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16It was just an Indian gentleman...
0:23:18 > 0:23:22..who looked a lot like M Night Shyamalan.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26And I'd said to him, "Let's work together."
0:23:28 > 0:23:31And it turned out he was a maitre d' at a local restaurant.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- Have you ever seen him again since? - No, but I've seen the guy
0:23:35 > 0:23:38and we always look at each other like jilted lovers.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40APPLAUSE
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Miriam Margolyes, you don't bring us a film but you bring us
0:23:49 > 0:23:53a documentary inspired by a film, which seems like a good idea.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56It's called the Real Marigold Hotel.
0:23:56 > 0:24:03It starts on BBC Two at 9pm on 26th January and it's you and a phrase I haven't uttered before.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- It's you and celebrity pensioners. - Oh, shit.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- I don't like that. - OK, well, we won't say it again.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Um, the idea is, you all go
0:24:12 > 0:24:16and explore what it might be like to retire in India
0:24:16 > 0:24:19and I think you seem like you enjoyed this experience.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Oh, it was wonderful. It was really wonderful.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24India is a fantastic place.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- Have you been?- I've never been. - Have you been?- I've never been.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30You must go. It's truly... I mean this from my heart,
0:24:30 > 0:24:33it's absolutely a wonderful country, really.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37And I don't know if I'd retire there, but I want to go back there.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40It's where my friend M Night Shyamalan comes from...
0:24:40 > 0:24:45- LAUGHTER - I was going to say, you might meet him there.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48I don't know if it's the way the programme is edited,
0:24:48 > 0:24:51but your trip did seem dominated by the toilet.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Well, this sounds like my favourite show ever.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Well, look, I'm nearly 75
0:24:59 > 0:25:05and you can't hang on to it as well as you can at your age and your age,
0:25:05 > 0:25:09so it becomes important to be able to get to a toilet when you want to.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Is everything OK right now?
0:25:11 > 0:25:14LAUGHTER
0:25:14 > 0:25:18- If I start to fidget, get worried. - All right.
0:25:18 > 0:25:24Yes, I mean, I think everybody would feel the same, you know, you want to be able to get to a toilet.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28- Yes.- And in India, if you can get to a toilet,
0:25:28 > 0:25:30it's not always a toilet you want to get to.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34Put it like that, because it's a dirty hole in the ground with
0:25:34 > 0:25:38two footprints and not much cover and lots of flies
0:25:38 > 0:25:40and shit on the wall and everything.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42It's not pleasant.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44But if you're in a hotel or somewhere like that,
0:25:44 > 0:25:47of course, it's absolutely as it would be in the West.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50- Why are there two footprints? - One for each foot.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53LAUGHTER
0:25:56 > 0:26:03GRAHAM LAUGHS UNCONTROLLABLY
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- I understand now.- You painted a lovely picture with words, Miriam.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09But I mean, there's much more to India than dirty toilets.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- Of course there is, yeah. - But it's just something that was important to me.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Well, we've got a clip.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17This is you getting ready for breakfast with your fellow travellers.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Oh, I haven't seen any of it.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22- Well, you'll see it now. - There we go.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24I've got a little tube of Vegemite.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30Taking it up to breakfast. I'm not going to share it.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Actually, I find sharing food very difficult.
0:26:38 > 0:26:43So I brought a bottle of whisky for everybody, so they don't think I'm
0:26:43 > 0:26:46a mean old cow, but Vegemite, I might have to keep to myself.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50'With the first week drawing to an end,
0:26:50 > 0:26:53'the group are starting to settle into living together.'
0:26:53 > 0:26:57I live alone most of the time, so suddenly being
0:26:57 > 0:27:04squashed in with a lot of unknown people, is disconcerting
0:27:04 > 0:27:08but it's also quite fun and I really love having
0:27:08 > 0:27:12- breakfast in the mornings with everybody.- Good morning.
0:27:12 > 0:27:16What is the difference between love and herpes?
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Love and herpes?
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Herpes is for ever!
0:27:19 > 0:27:23LAUGHTER
0:27:27 > 0:27:28It's true!
0:27:31 > 0:27:33I've bought tickets for your show, by the way.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Oh, thank you. Have you bought tickets for Matthew's show?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Not yet, but I will. I will buy tickets for your show.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41- I don't ask for comps ever. I always pay.- No? OK.- No, I pay my way.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45- Well, we'd love for you to come. - I will come, and I might come backstage and frighten you!
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Just make sure she's near the toilet!
0:27:47 > 0:27:49LAUGHTER
0:27:51 > 0:27:54- I will guarantee you one thing. - There will be bathrooms backstage.
0:27:56 > 0:28:00At the Playhouse? Hardly! But...
0:28:00 > 0:28:06Over the years, Matthew, you were in some interview, talking about how you knew that Friends would be a big hit.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Like quite early on. Was there a specific episode?
0:28:09 > 0:28:11I did know that Friends was going to be a hit.
0:28:11 > 0:28:15I didn't know that it was going to be the giant hit that it was.
0:28:15 > 0:28:16I tell you this.
0:28:18 > 0:28:19I know it's been successful.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22LAUGHTER
0:28:22 > 0:28:24But there was one episode where there was
0:28:24 > 0:28:31a blackout in New York City and I was stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre that was...
0:28:31 > 0:28:34- Was she in it?- She was in it.- Ah.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36- Yes.- You'd know that if you'd watched it.
0:28:36 > 0:28:42Yes, I was stuck in an ATM vestibule with her so she was in it.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45- In Friends?- Yeah.- Oh, right. OK.
0:28:45 > 0:28:46The TV show, Friends.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Yes, and that show, that episode, really made me
0:28:51 > 0:28:53think that we were doing something special.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55Because I suppose, cos you were kind of away...
0:28:55 > 0:28:57You could see the others in the apartment.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00I could see the others in the apartment and the audience
0:29:00 > 0:29:04was really laughing and it just felt like the right thing.
0:29:04 > 0:29:07And there was a spooky thing that when you got the script,
0:29:07 > 0:29:10before you auditioned, I mean, you...
0:29:10 > 0:29:13it wasn't like you kind of thought, "I COULD be that guy."
0:29:13 > 0:29:17Yeah, I was unavailable because I'd done this terrible
0:29:17 > 0:29:21TV show about baggage handlers in the year 2197.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25So I was off the market,
0:29:25 > 0:29:28so my friends were all auditioning for this show called Friends and
0:29:28 > 0:29:32there was this character called Chandler, who was very similar to me.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36So I would help them with their auditions and I finally said,
0:29:36 > 0:29:40"Let me just do this for you. Just imitate what I'm doing and go in,"
0:29:40 > 0:29:42and some of them got very far and almost got the job
0:29:42 > 0:29:45and then somebody finally saw the baggage handlers show,
0:29:45 > 0:29:48and decided that wasn't going to get picked up.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50And then they allowed me to be on Friends.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52Wow! Well, listen.
0:29:52 > 0:29:57Our office, I think, has more than its fair share of Friends geeks.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00- OK.- So you know the famous quiz episode, when the girls lose the apartment?
0:30:00 > 0:30:02Yes, I remember that episode.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05So, what the guys wanted you to do was see
0:30:05 > 0:30:07if you could remember the answers
0:30:07 > 0:30:10to the Chandler questions in the quiz.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13If you can't, Gemma Arterton's right on it.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Do you remember this episode?
0:30:15 > 0:30:16No!
0:30:16 > 0:30:18Miriam, no hope, so...
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Don't shout out until Matthew can't get it,
0:30:20 > 0:30:24- but feel free to shout out if you can then get it.- The pressure is on.
0:30:24 > 0:30:25Here we go.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27According to Chandler,
0:30:27 > 0:30:31what phenomenon scares the bejesus out of him?
0:30:31 > 0:30:34- Oh, that's Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance.- You are correct!
0:30:34 > 0:30:36Yes, well done.
0:30:36 > 0:30:37OK...
0:30:37 > 0:30:39APPLAUSE
0:30:41 > 0:30:46What is the name of Chandler's father's all-male burlesque?
0:30:46 > 0:30:49I actually know that, too. That's Viva Las Gaygas.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:30:54 > 0:30:56You'll definitely know this one.
0:30:56 > 0:31:01Every week, the TV guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04What name appears on the address label?
0:31:04 > 0:31:06Mrs Chanandler Bong.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08Yes, very good!
0:31:09 > 0:31:11Actually, the last one is...
0:31:11 > 0:31:14Because the famous thing that no-one...
0:31:14 > 0:31:17- Although Chandler was the only one with a proper job...- Right.
0:31:17 > 0:31:21Throughout the series, it was never talked about what he actually did.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24That's right, it was in computers, something in computers.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27So shall we see if anyone in the audience knows this before...?
0:31:27 > 0:31:29- Do you know it?- I'm not sure.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33Does anyone know what is Chandler's job?
0:31:34 > 0:31:36LAUGHTER
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Oh, there's a hand back up there.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Wait, there's going to be a microphone coming to you, one second.
0:31:41 > 0:31:45- What do you think his job was?- A trans-ponster. According to Rachel.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47- No.- Ah!
0:31:47 > 0:31:50Nope. Anyone else want to guess? Oh, there's a lady at the back.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53Oh, they're having to get a very strange angle,
0:31:53 > 0:31:56we've never spoken to anyone in the back row before.
0:31:57 > 0:31:58Yes?
0:31:58 > 0:32:03- Statistical data reconfiguration. - Ooh, you're so close!
0:32:04 > 0:32:07You were so close. That's what it actually is.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11- Statistical analysis and data reconfiguration.- She's so close!
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Well done, that lady! Very good.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19OK.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21It's time for music and I'm
0:32:21 > 0:32:23so thrilled we've got this man on the show.
0:32:23 > 0:32:27He's a huge favourite on Radio 2, I play him all the time.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Performing his beautiful new single Catapult,
0:32:29 > 0:32:32please welcome Jack Savoretti.
0:32:32 > 0:32:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:32:43 > 0:32:46# Following the headlights
0:32:47 > 0:32:50# Gotta find a way back to you
0:32:50 > 0:32:53# I can be the white knight
0:32:54 > 0:32:56# You can play the princess
0:32:57 > 0:33:00# We'll be running like outlaws
0:33:01 > 0:33:04# Hiding in the midnight
0:33:05 > 0:33:07# Break down the gates
0:33:09 > 0:33:12# Let in the sunlight
0:33:12 > 0:33:15# Throw me over these walls
0:33:18 > 0:33:21# High up in the atmosphere
0:33:21 > 0:33:24# If I could catapult my heart
0:33:27 > 0:33:29# Watch the empire fall
0:33:32 > 0:33:34# I'm gonna get you out of here
0:33:35 > 0:33:40# If I could catapult my heart
0:33:40 > 0:33:42# To where you are
0:33:46 > 0:33:50# You said you had your heart broken
0:33:50 > 0:33:54# What a stupid little thing to do
0:33:54 > 0:33:56# Now you're tied to a train track
0:33:58 > 0:34:00# But I'm-a gonna come and rescue you
0:34:01 > 0:34:04# Make no mistake
0:34:04 > 0:34:08# I'll do whatever it takes
0:34:08 > 0:34:12# To get over these walls
0:34:14 > 0:34:17# High up in the atmosphere
0:34:17 > 0:34:21# If I could catapult my heart
0:34:23 > 0:34:26# Watch the empire fall
0:34:27 > 0:34:29# Oh
0:34:29 > 0:34:30# I'm gonna get you out of here
0:34:32 > 0:34:36# If I could catapult my heart
0:34:36 > 0:34:38# To where you are
0:34:38 > 0:34:42# If I could catapult my heart
0:34:42 > 0:34:45# Oh-oh
0:34:50 > 0:34:52# Hey-eh
0:34:56 > 0:35:00# Throw me over these walls
0:35:01 > 0:35:05# Ooh, and high up in the atmosphere
0:35:05 > 0:35:09# I could catapult my heart
0:35:11 > 0:35:15# Watch the empire fall
0:35:15 > 0:35:17# Whoa
0:35:17 > 0:35:19# I'm gonna get you out of here
0:35:20 > 0:35:24# If I could catapult my heart
0:35:24 > 0:35:28# To where you are
0:35:28 > 0:35:31# If I could catapult my heart
0:35:31 > 0:35:35# To where you are
0:35:35 > 0:35:39# I'm gonna catapult my heart. #
0:35:42 > 0:35:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:35:48 > 0:35:50How lovely is that?
0:35:50 > 0:35:54That's beautiful. Come and join us, Jack.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56Oh, a jacket! Dressing up.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58- A suit!- Hello!
0:35:58 > 0:36:00- How you doing?- I'm doing well.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Come in, meet everybody.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Gemma...
0:36:04 > 0:36:06Miriam, Matthew...
0:36:06 > 0:36:08I'm so glad to meet you!
0:36:08 > 0:36:12- Nice to meet you!- Well done! That was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.
0:36:12 > 0:36:13Thank you very much.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16If people love that song, and who wouldn't have loved that song,
0:36:16 > 0:36:21it's out now and it's also on the deluxe repackage of the album,
0:36:21 > 0:36:22Written In Scars.
0:36:22 > 0:36:26That album, it's your fourth album, but it's just done so well for you.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29It has, it's been an amazing year, thanks very much to you
0:36:29 > 0:36:31and your kind folk at BBC Radio 2!
0:36:31 > 0:36:34Well, you sent us the CD, the least we could do was play it!
0:36:34 > 0:36:36LAUGHTER
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Now, Matthew Perry, you look at the end of the couch, there.
0:36:39 > 0:36:42Do you recognise Jack Savoretti?
0:36:42 > 0:36:44Well, NOW I do.
0:36:44 > 0:36:45LAUGHTER
0:36:45 > 0:36:47Because you have met before. Jack.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50- We have met, actually. - This is M Night Shyamalan.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52LAUGHTER
0:36:55 > 0:36:59We met through a mutual friend - you did a play with Minnie Driver.
0:36:59 > 0:37:00Oh, that's right! OK.
0:37:00 > 0:37:02It was about 12 years ago and I'd just moved to London
0:37:02 > 0:37:05and it was my first night out in London with some friends
0:37:05 > 0:37:08and we went to a club which'll remain nameless and you were there.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10And you were getting a lot of attention and you seemed to be
0:37:10 > 0:37:13a bit overwhelmed by it. For some reason, I thought I had it
0:37:13 > 0:37:15in my jurisdiction to come over
0:37:15 > 0:37:18and give you a drink, and you were very cool, you sat with me
0:37:18 > 0:37:20and talked for about five seconds
0:37:20 > 0:37:22and then sort of said, "Go away".
0:37:23 > 0:37:26We're now wondering who he thought you were.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31You were incredibly polite, I was very obnoxious and young...
0:37:31 > 0:37:34- Well, it's very nice to meet you again!- You too!
0:37:34 > 0:37:36Well, you sound much more Italian than...
0:37:36 > 0:37:39- You have an Italian thing in your voice.- It's confused.
0:37:39 > 0:37:42I sound American when I get nervous, so I'm probably sounding
0:37:42 > 0:37:45a little bit American right now, but I kind of moved around.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47My mother is English, father's Italian,
0:37:47 > 0:37:48I grew up travelling around, so...
0:37:48 > 0:37:53- Miriam, you're... Do you speak Italian, Miriam?- You do.- Poco. Poco.
0:37:53 > 0:37:57THEY CONVERSE IN ITALIAN
0:38:01 > 0:38:05Actually, you're one of my favourite... Me and my wife watch the show all the time
0:38:05 > 0:38:07and my favourite interview was you with will.i.am.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10- That was our favourite interview. - APPLAUSE
0:38:10 > 0:38:11You were amazing.
0:38:14 > 0:38:15And you're touring soon?
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Yes, we'll be touring the UK in March
0:38:17 > 0:38:19and we're doing a special show in Cadogan Hall which
0:38:19 > 0:38:21hopefully these three amazing ladies...
0:38:21 > 0:38:23I haven't asked them yet, but I'm asking them now!
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Hopefully they'll play with me.
0:38:25 > 0:38:28We're doing a special show with just piano and guitar at Cadogan Hall,
0:38:28 > 0:38:30but if you want to see all the other chaps there, we'll be
0:38:30 > 0:38:33- touring the rest of the country during March.- Fantastic.
0:38:33 > 0:38:37Well, listen, good luck with the tour, thank you so much for that beautiful performance.
0:38:37 > 0:38:40Well done. Very good. OK... Jack Savoretti.
0:38:40 > 0:38:44OK. Before we go, we have time for a visit to the big red chair.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Who awaits us? Hello!
0:38:47 > 0:38:49Hello!
0:38:49 > 0:38:51These are the easy bits(!)
0:38:51 > 0:38:53- And what's your name, sir? - My name's Brad.
0:38:54 > 0:38:56- Bread?- Brad!- Brad.
0:38:58 > 0:39:02I feel like a barista at Starbucks, just writing "Bread" on the cup...
0:39:03 > 0:39:06- OK, Brad, sorry. Where are you from, Brad?- New Zealand.- Of course you are.
0:39:06 > 0:39:08WHOOPING
0:39:08 > 0:39:12They're always from New Zealand. New Zealand must be empty.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15The airport is deserted.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18They're all queueing for the red chair.
0:39:18 > 0:39:20OK, Brad. Do you live here, or are you just visiting?
0:39:20 > 0:39:23- I'm living in London. - What do you do here?
0:39:23 > 0:39:26I'm working in a marketing department for a university.
0:39:26 > 0:39:29Sounds quite a proper job, doesn't it? Well done, Brad!
0:39:29 > 0:39:31OK, off you go with your story.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34So I was in Italy, actually in Naples,
0:39:34 > 0:39:37and was walking down the street
0:39:37 > 0:39:39and it was a lightning storm
0:39:39 > 0:39:42and a heck of a lot of rain coming down.
0:39:42 > 0:39:46A very, very kind old lady offered me shelter in her house and
0:39:46 > 0:39:49I went in, she made me a coffee
0:39:49 > 0:39:52and she offered me a change of clothing.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54It was when I was in the room next door,
0:39:54 > 0:39:57trying to put my leg through the trousers that I tripped over.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59I knocked a bookshelf
0:39:59 > 0:40:03and the urn on the top of the bookshelf came crashing down.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05I was still wet from the rain...
0:40:05 > 0:40:10and as the urn hit the ground, the ash went all over me.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16To make matters a little bit worse, as I managed to pull
0:40:16 > 0:40:20the pants up around my waist, and started to clean up the mess
0:40:20 > 0:40:22that I had made, I saw a photo
0:40:22 > 0:40:23and it was the lady's husband...
0:40:23 > 0:40:25Well, what looked like her husband,
0:40:25 > 0:40:30and he was wearing the same pants that I was just putting on.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35So that was potentially the most embarrassing and awkward moment.
0:40:35 > 0:40:36That is a very good story.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39That... Excellent. You can walk.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41Walk, Bread. You want to be...?
0:40:41 > 0:40:43Oh, you want to be flipped?
0:40:43 > 0:40:46You want to be flipped, OK. There you go, Bread. Hey!
0:40:46 > 0:40:50That was a good story. Lots of detail, it was excellent.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53A short story in that. Normally, Matthew, they're not very good.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55No?!
0:40:55 > 0:40:58We've set the bar a little high, I feel.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00- Who's next?- Craig.- Craig. Hi, Craig.
0:41:00 > 0:41:05- Hiya.- Where are you from?- Deptford. - Deptford.- Yeah.- Deptford? Deptford? Nothing.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10- And what do you do in Deptford? - I'm a graphic designer.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13- A graphic designer. In Deptford? - Well, no, not in Deptford.
0:41:13 > 0:41:14I was going to say!
0:41:14 > 0:41:18Wouldn't have thought there was much call for graphic design in Deptford.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21- So where do you do it, in the big... In the actual...? - Just off Oxford Street.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24Of course, where graphic designers live(!)
0:41:24 > 0:41:25OK, off you go with your story, sir.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28So about five years ago, my girlfriend at the time
0:41:28 > 0:41:31offered me to go on holiday to her parents' villa.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33Her parents were gonna be there as well, I hadn't really met them
0:41:33 > 0:41:36that many times, but it was a free holiday,
0:41:36 > 0:41:38so I thought, in for a penny, in for a pound.
0:41:40 > 0:41:44Everything was going all right up until about the third day when her
0:41:44 > 0:41:48mum came into our room and offered us to go into a hot tub with them.
0:41:48 > 0:41:51I wasn't massively sure because I didn't know them that well,
0:41:51 > 0:41:52but I didn't want to rock the boat,
0:41:52 > 0:41:56I was trying to impress the parents, so I thought, yeah, I'll do it.
0:41:56 > 0:41:58About three or four minutes in,
0:41:58 > 0:42:01I felt like a leg kind of graze
0:42:01 > 0:42:04mine, edge towards mine, and I was like, this is a bit weird.
0:42:04 > 0:42:06My girlfriend's playing footsie with me
0:42:06 > 0:42:09with her parents right there.
0:42:09 > 0:42:13Then I realised, because of the positioning of the hot tub,
0:42:13 > 0:42:15it couldn't have been her and it was actually her dad.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19So, um...
0:42:19 > 0:42:21Being really British about it,
0:42:21 > 0:42:23I was polite and didn't say, "What are you doing?",
0:42:23 > 0:42:27I just composed myself, got out of the hot tub politely
0:42:27 > 0:42:31and went into our room to kind of contemplate what had happened.
0:42:31 > 0:42:33LAUGHTER
0:42:34 > 0:42:37So my girlfriend followed out and she was like, "Are you OK?"
0:42:37 > 0:42:40I was like, "I don't really know how to tell you this,
0:42:40 > 0:42:43"but your dad's leg was kind of...
0:42:43 > 0:42:46"invading mine, in the hot tub."
0:42:46 > 0:42:48So, um, yeah, and she just burst out laughing.
0:42:48 > 0:42:52Turned out he had a prosthetic leg and he was waving in the air.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56We didn't see that coming, either!
0:42:56 > 0:42:58You did rather well.
0:42:58 > 0:43:00Thank you. Can I be flipped?
0:43:00 > 0:43:03- Oh, you want to be flipped?- If that's all right, yes, please!- OK(!)
0:43:05 > 0:43:07Well done, everyone.
0:43:07 > 0:43:10If you'd like to join us after the show, you can contact us
0:43:10 > 0:43:13via the website at this address.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15That is it for tonight.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17Please say a big thank you to all my guests.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19Jack Savoretti, everybody.
0:43:19 > 0:43:20APPLAUSE
0:43:20 > 0:43:21Gemma Arterton...
0:43:21 > 0:43:23APPLAUSE
0:43:23 > 0:43:26Miriam Margolyes... APPLAUSE
0:43:26 > 0:43:28And Mr Matthew Perry!
0:43:28 > 0:43:30APPLAUSE
0:43:30 > 0:43:33Join me next week with singer Elle King,
0:43:33 > 0:43:35broadcasting legend Sir David Attenborough,
0:43:35 > 0:43:36actress Olivia Colman,
0:43:36 > 0:43:38House star Hugh Laurie,
0:43:38 > 0:43:39comedian Kevin Hart
0:43:39 > 0:43:41and rapper-turned-actor Ice Cube.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44I'll see you then, goodnight, everybody - bye-bye!
0:43:44 > 0:43:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE