0:00:02 > 0:00:04Now, Salma Hayek, so nice to have you on the show tonight.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- Thank you, thank you. - Now, you're from "Mehico".- Exactly.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10I actually speak a poco of Spanish. So I wondered,
0:00:10 > 0:00:14how would I say, "Let's start the show," en espanol?
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Bueno. Pues, puedes decir muchas cosas. Lo importante es que hagas
0:00:17 > 0:00:22que tu publico se sienta bienvenido y se entusiasme -
0:00:22 > 0:00:26tenga ganas de ver tu programa. Y cuando estes listo,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28cuando sientas que la energia subido,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31y que todos estan desesperados por verte,
0:00:31 > 0:00:35entonces les puedes decir empecemos el programa.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Bueno.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Let's start the show!
0:00:39 > 0:00:41APPLAUSE
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Oh! Oh!
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Oh!
0:01:00 > 0:01:04Hello! Hello!
0:01:04 > 0:01:09Buenas noches. Buenas noches, buenas noches.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Good evening, everybody! Hey, it's Friday night!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Yes, it is. CHEERING
0:01:15 > 0:01:18It's the weekend! CHEERING
0:01:18 > 0:01:21It's three weeks to the EU referendum!
0:01:21 > 0:01:24A FEW HALF-HEARTED CHEERS
0:01:24 > 0:01:26LAUGHTER
0:01:26 > 0:01:29So excited in here, ladies and gentlemen, so excited.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32The debate has reached fever pitch, hasn't it?
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Real fever pitch. Lots of debate about immigration this week.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Some people think we should bring in an Australian-style points system.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Hm. Any Australians in tonight? CHEERING
0:01:43 > 0:01:46There's always Australians. Hello. Where are you? There you are. Hi!
0:01:46 > 0:01:49You have done a great job, a great job, of keeping people out
0:01:49 > 0:01:51of your country. LAUGHTER
0:01:51 > 0:01:53You have! You've filled it with poisonous animals,
0:01:53 > 0:01:55put it miles away,
0:01:55 > 0:01:58and you live there, so it's all, yeah... Bung, bung, bung.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Of course, if the Brexit camp wins,
0:02:00 > 0:02:04then Boris Johnson could end up being the next Prime Minister.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05BOOING AND CHEERING
0:02:05 > 0:02:08But don't worry, I don't think there's anyone more sensitive
0:02:08 > 0:02:11to the feelings of ethnic minorities.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13LAUGHTER
0:02:16 > 0:02:19But, hey, who are we allowing onto our sacred British sofa tonight?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Well, later we'll have music from Alicia Keys. Yes!
0:02:22 > 0:02:23CHEERING
0:02:23 > 0:02:26But first, he's one of the funniest things to come out of Wales.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Star of Would I Lie to You?, Live At The Apollo and Work Experience,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31now scouring the country to find the UK's Best Part-Time Band,
0:02:31 > 0:02:34it's Rhod Gilbert, everybody! CHEERING
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Hello!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Hello, sir. Lovely to see you.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Sit, have wine!
0:02:44 > 0:02:47This British actress has gone from Black Books to Green Wing
0:02:47 > 0:02:49to the hugely successful Episodes.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Now she's here with her latest comedy caper,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Breaking The Bank. It's Tamsin Greig!
0:02:53 > 0:02:55CHEERING
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Yay!
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Sophisticated lady. Look at you! Hello, darling.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05Lovely to see you. Come in, Rhod, Tamsin.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08This multi-award winning actor starred as Dr Frasier Crane
0:03:08 > 0:03:11for 20 years and, amongst other roles, has lent his
0:03:11 > 0:03:14unmistakable voice to Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Now he's gone all British in Breaking The Bank.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Please welcome, for the first time, Kelsey Grammer!
0:03:19 > 0:03:20CHEERING
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Hello, sir, lovely to see you.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Thank you so much for doing this. We really appreciate it.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31That's who that is.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35And from her breakout role in Desperado
0:03:35 > 0:03:38to her Oscar-nominated turn as Frida Kahlo,
0:03:38 > 0:03:40this actress has become one of Hollywood's most
0:03:40 > 0:03:42dazzling leading ladies, and now her new film,
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Tale Of Tales, is getting rave reviews.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Please welcome Salma Hayek!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Hey, hello. Mwah and mwah.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Thank you for coming. Seriously.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57You've met everybody. You've met everybody.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03What a jolly sofa. Very good. Nice to see you all.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Welcome, welcome, welcome. - Thank you.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Now, there's an odd thing on the couch tonight,
0:04:08 > 0:04:10I don't think we've ever had this before,
0:04:10 > 0:04:13but Salma and Kelsey, you've got an odd connection.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Mm-hm.- Yes.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Let's elaborate. LAUGHTER
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Salma bought a home I owned years ago.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- Did you know it was his house? - Yes. I still have it.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- I was going to ask if you still have it!- Yes!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31It's such a beautiful place. I loved it.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33And yet he moved on.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35It's all worked out lovely.
0:04:35 > 0:04:40- Did he leave it nice?- Yes, in very good shape.- Oh, it was a great home.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Did he take the light bulbs?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- Um...I think you did!- No...
0:04:45 > 0:04:49- I might have... - LAUGHTER
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Now, Rhod Gilbert, thank you for being here.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53And it's very nice of you to be here because
0:04:53 > 0:04:56has your appearance tonight caused trouble at home?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02- Um... - LAUGHTER
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Are you trying to tell him something?
0:05:04 > 0:05:08No, no, I believe somebody else told him something.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- No, it's my wife's birthday. - TAMSIN GASPS
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- AUDIENCE GASPS - Look at them! "Ooh!"
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Yeah, it's my wife's birthday...
0:05:16 > 0:05:20To be honest, I've sort of promised her something that
0:05:20 > 0:05:22involves you, Salma, I'm afraid.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26- You're taking Salma home for her? - LAUGHTER
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Well, I didn't guarantee that...
0:05:28 > 0:05:33Cos I said, "The Graham Norton Show have rung."
0:05:33 > 0:05:35And she said, "Who?" I explained.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39He's only pretending.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41They said, "Will you do it?" and I said, "Of course, I'd love to,
0:05:41 > 0:05:44"the only problem is it's my wife's birthday."
0:05:44 > 0:05:46So I said, "Do you mind if I do it?" She said, "Can I come?"
0:05:46 > 0:05:49And I said, "Well, if you do, that's your birthday present."
0:05:49 > 0:05:51So...
0:05:51 > 0:05:54That's so cheap. Buy her something!
0:05:54 > 0:05:56It's not that cheap.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I've promised her an hour with you in the green room after.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- LAUGHTER - You are the birthday present.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03That's a good gift.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Tamsin, obviously in Episodes you worked with Matt LeBlanc,
0:06:07 > 0:06:10a big sitcom star, but, Kelsey, arguably the most successful
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- sitcom star of all time. - Well, arguably, yes.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15OK, let's just go with he is.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Was it intimidating, or was it all fine? Was it just actors?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20After Matt LeBlanc...
0:06:20 > 0:06:22LAUGHTER
0:06:24 > 0:06:28I said to my agent, "I only want to work with even bigger stars."
0:06:28 > 0:06:31What's bigger than Kelsey? I don't know, who can we get next?
0:06:31 > 0:06:32There are several, but not many.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40It's not intimidating because he is an incredible gentleman.
0:06:40 > 0:06:45He's very warm and appreciative and very supportive and very funny.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48And also very close to tears all the time.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50It's true, I do live that way, yes, I do.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54- On the verge of tears almost always. - All the time. I can see them now.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57My wife knows. She's over there. She knows I cry at the drop of a hat.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- She calls it gin. - LAUGHTER
0:07:00 > 0:07:02And half the time, she's right.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Tamsin, Kelsey has a reputation for singing on set.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Did this happen on this set?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Yeah, he's got a great voice and there's a lot of hanging
0:07:13 > 0:07:17around on sets, so we'd just turn to our puppet master
0:07:17 > 0:07:20to just perform a little, pull his strings,
0:07:20 > 0:07:24- and he'd come out with something. - OK, so, Kelsey, could you,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26if I poke you with a stick, just give us a little burst of
0:07:26 > 0:07:28the end song in Frasier?
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Aw, sure, I could.- OK, I think we've got a little backing track.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- You have?- Do you want the backing track?- Yeah, sure.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35OK, here's the backing track.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37# Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
0:07:37 > 0:07:41# Tossed salads and scrambled eggs Yeah, that's it
0:07:41 > 0:07:42# Quite stylish
0:07:42 > 0:07:44# And maybe I seem a bit confused
0:07:44 > 0:07:49# Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged That's it
0:07:49 > 0:07:52# But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads
0:07:52 > 0:07:54# And scrambled eggs. #
0:07:55 > 0:07:59CHEERING
0:07:59 > 0:08:02How cool is that? Thank you very much, that's very nice of you.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Now, lots of movies and programmes to talk about tonight,
0:08:10 > 0:08:14so let's get started. Now, Salma, you have a new movie,
0:08:14 > 0:08:18Tale Of Tales. It opens in a couple of weeks, on June 17.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20And it's an extraordinary film.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23It's a retelling of classic Italian fairy tales.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25For a British audience, if they think,
0:08:25 > 0:08:28"Oh, we know what fairy tales are like," these are bonkers tales.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- Yes, don't take your children, please.- No, no.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35Whatever you do, do not take your children to see this one.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39It's very dark, but it's really beautiful, visually exuberant.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43And just interesting, unique, different.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Yes, because you start watching and think, "What the hell is going on?"
0:08:46 > 0:08:48And once you're in the mood of the film, it really carries you along.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- They're amazing, the stories.- Yes. - So, talk us through the tale
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- that you're involved in. Cos there's three tales.- Yes.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58My tale is about motherhood, and I am a queen.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02I was so excited because the closest I got to being a queen
0:09:02 > 0:09:05was to be the queen of the drug cartel in Savages.
0:09:05 > 0:09:10When you're Mexican, it's kind of hard to get that role.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14And she is very sad because she cannot have children.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17And she is willing to do anything, anything,
0:09:17 > 0:09:20in order to conceive a child.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- So...- Fairy-tale stuff. - Do you want me to continue?
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Well, you can tell us a bit. Because we can know how
0:09:27 > 0:09:29she got with child, can't we?
0:09:29 > 0:09:35Yes. One of the parts of the ritual, the many things we had to do,
0:09:35 > 0:09:38was we had to kill a sea dragon,
0:09:38 > 0:09:42and then I had to eat the heart of this dragon
0:09:42 > 0:09:47that had to be cooked by a virgin, which was really difficult to find,
0:09:47 > 0:09:49even in those days.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53And, by eating the heart of the dragon,
0:09:53 > 0:09:58I was going to conceive a baby, which is not as fun
0:09:58 > 0:10:02as the normal way, but she was desperate.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- And it was disgusting.- But that all happens in about the first
0:10:04 > 0:10:07five minutes. We've got a still of you eating the heart.
0:10:07 > 0:10:12Now, what was that?
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Cos it looked disgusting.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16It was disgusting!
0:10:16 > 0:10:20And I still don't know, cos when you asked the Italians...
0:10:20 > 0:10:23They asked me, "What are you allergic to?" and I told them.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26And when it was the time, I said, "What's in it?"
0:10:26 > 0:10:28and they said, "You're not allergic to it."
0:10:28 > 0:10:32I said, "OK, but what's in it?" And they said, "Many different things."
0:10:32 > 0:10:34And I said, "Yeah, but what things?"
0:10:34 > 0:10:38"Things that you're not allergic to." And that's it!
0:10:38 > 0:10:42But every bite, I would find different textures
0:10:42 > 0:10:46and things and flavours. At some point, I was convinced
0:10:46 > 0:10:48I was eating a worm.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52I said, "You must tell me what this is!" "That's spaghetti."
0:10:52 > 0:10:57So one of the arteries inside of there was spaghetti, but, anyway,
0:10:57 > 0:11:01I don't want to repeat that recipe. I will never cook it for anyone.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03We've got a clip.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07This is you talking to your son.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- We shouldn't say any more, should we?- We shouldn't say any more,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- except that...- This is the child you conceived, who's now speaking?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Yes, he came out albino, I don't know why.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17LAUGHTER
0:11:19 > 0:11:21It's an Italian fairy tale.
0:11:21 > 0:11:27- This is you being a strict mother with your son.- Exactly, yes.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31You disrespect me and you disobey me.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35You know you were not supposed to see him.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Come here.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Elias, you are a prince.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49You cannot be the friend of a son of a servant.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53But I like being with him. He's like a brother to me.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56- I will see him whenever I want. - A brother?
0:11:56 > 0:12:03The only one bond of blood that you have is with me, your mother.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07And it is to me that you owe respect and obedience.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11I am your Queen. Don't you ever forget it.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13APPLAUSE
0:12:15 > 0:12:18You know, if I start talking to my daughter like that,
0:12:18 > 0:12:21she starts laughing at me. Walks away.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- You filmed it in Sicily and Tuscany. - And Tuscany, yes.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- The food was so good.- Ooh, well, apart from your heart, obviously.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- Yes.- Sea monster heart, no.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35But when people travel, they collect things,
0:12:35 > 0:12:38postcards, dolls in national dress.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42But you collect animals, like, living animals.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Well, no, I don't collect them, I rescue them.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Oh, OK.- I rescue them.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51So, did you rescue anything when you were in Sicily and Tuscany?
0:12:51 > 0:12:55Not in that one, but in the movie I did right after,
0:12:55 > 0:12:57in Bulgaria, I did.
0:12:57 > 0:13:02- OK.- I had promised my husband I was going to stop, because at the time
0:13:02 > 0:13:07I had ten dogs, five parrots, I had alpacas,
0:13:07 > 0:13:09horses, cats.
0:13:09 > 0:13:14And, by the way, one without a tail, the other one without a leg.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Always, they find me, they come to me, these animals,
0:13:20 > 0:13:25which he doesn't believe me, but they do. I promised him no more, OK.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29We were up to 30 animals and I swore no more.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33I was there, and a little puppy, who was abandoned
0:13:33 > 0:13:36and was going to die... I won't tell you the sad story
0:13:36 > 0:13:40cos this is a comedy show and I'll start crying,
0:13:40 > 0:13:44but he came to me and I couldn't help it and I picked him up.
0:13:44 > 0:13:49His name is Ochoa, after the goalie of the soccer team in Mexico.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51It was the World Cup. And I took him,
0:13:51 > 0:13:55and then I was terrified, how am I going to explain this to my husband?
0:13:55 > 0:14:00I promised, I promised. So I came up with this brilliant idea,
0:14:00 > 0:14:02to pretend that I was having an affair.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- LAUGHTER - With Ochoa?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08No, with somebody. To make him think that I was having an affair
0:14:08 > 0:14:10and at the end I would say, "No, it's not an affair,
0:14:10 > 0:14:14"I picked up a dog," and then he would feel better that I picked up
0:14:14 > 0:14:15a dog and was not having an affair.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18This is clever. Good plan, good plan.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21So I left him a message, "You must call me at this time.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24"We need to talk, it's very important," and I never do that.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27And this time he said, "OK, what happened? What happened?"
0:14:27 > 0:14:31And I said, "Listen, I feel so terrible,
0:14:31 > 0:14:36"I don't know how to say this to you, and I know this is not going
0:14:36 > 0:14:39"to go down well, and I'm really nervous,
0:14:39 > 0:14:44"and, please, have mercy on me, have patience, be understanding,
0:14:44 > 0:14:49"it's just been so stressful and I'm so tired, and I was so lonely here
0:14:49 > 0:14:53"for so many days, and you do crazy things
0:14:53 > 0:14:55"when you're in this state!"
0:14:55 > 0:14:57And he said to me, "Oh, please don't tell me
0:14:57 > 0:15:00"you picked up another dog!"
0:15:00 > 0:15:02LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:07 > 0:15:10I was so sad that I was so predictable.
0:15:11 > 0:15:17Talking of dogs, famously, Eddie, the little Jack Russell in Frasier,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20we all fell in love. Everyone loved that Jack Russell.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23But apparently, you... Not that you didn't like him, but you were...
0:15:23 > 0:15:26No, I actually liked him quite a bit. The person who didn't like him
0:15:26 > 0:15:29was John, the one that played my dad.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31He was terrified of him.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32- Oh, really?!- Oh, yeah!
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Whenever he sat on his lap, the dog bit him.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37LAUGHTER
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Very dangerous place to start biting.- He was not a pleasant animal. Yeah.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Did it annoy you all on set that that dog must have got
0:15:43 > 0:15:45- so much attention? - It annoyed me no end.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- But, only this, because there was... - HE LAUGHS
0:15:48 > 0:15:51We had a director for a while who was a guest director.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54We booked him to do maybe three shows.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59Somewhere in the middle of that number, he turned to the dog
0:15:59 > 0:16:01and said, "Eddie, action."
0:16:01 > 0:16:03LAUGHTER
0:16:06 > 0:16:09I said, "You're fired.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12"I've never heard anything like that in my life. You're out."
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I was never really that mean, but in this case, I was.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21- It's a dog!- It's a dog. He doesn't understand "action".
0:16:23 > 0:16:25On the action thing, you said he didn't understand "action".
0:16:25 > 0:16:30My first ever time on screen, I was in my 20s, had never done anything
0:16:30 > 0:16:33on stage or screen before. I went along to the Jobcentre.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37They sent everyone, all the waifs and strays, all of us,
0:16:37 > 0:16:39they sent all of us to be film extras in a Welsh film
0:16:39 > 0:16:42that was filming nearby. Off we went and got our 30 quid for the day.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- Oh, it was a Welsh dog? In that case...- No, this was a horse!
0:16:45 > 0:16:47This was a horse!
0:16:47 > 0:16:50The horse's job, all he had to do was walk through the back
0:16:50 > 0:16:52of the shot. It was a period drama.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56And every single time the director shouted, "Action," I kid you not,
0:16:56 > 0:17:00the horse got an erection. Every single time.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03And there was this little guy whose sole job it was,
0:17:03 > 0:17:07as far as I could work out, was to run out with a bicycle pump
0:17:07 > 0:17:10and a bucket, and as soon as it went "Action," the horse went dong,
0:17:10 > 0:17:12and this bloke went tsh-tsh-tsh,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14and this horse's penis just went...back in.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17And they'd go, "Right, cut!" And they'd start again.
0:17:17 > 0:17:22"Action," dong, tsh-tsh-tsh, every single time he said, "Action."
0:17:22 > 0:17:25What's he doing with the bicycle pump?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- Un-erecting.- How do you un-erect a...?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Well, this is what I'm telling you.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32That's a Welsh blow job!
0:17:32 > 0:17:33APPLAUSE
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- That's what I'm telling you. - You know what, I bet there's a
0:17:39 > 0:17:42lot of women out there, and men too, that would want
0:17:42 > 0:17:46the number of the trainer of the horse.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48What would help it, the horse's penis would go like that,
0:17:48 > 0:17:52and then this little man would run out, suck water up from the bucket, into the pump,
0:17:52 > 0:17:55and then spray the horse's penis with cold water, basically,
0:17:55 > 0:17:58and then the penis would just go back in.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01And off they'd go, and he'd go, "Action," out it would go again,
0:18:01 > 0:18:03dong, tsh-tsh-tsh, back in.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06I've met a lot of actors that do that.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11That's the other trainer who was behind the horse.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- It's going very well. - It's going very well.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21Now, you, Tamsin, when you were growing up, who had the cat?
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Did your father have a cat or did you have the cat?
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Yes, we grew up with lots and lots of cats.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27My dad collected a lot of stray cats, so we learnt at
0:18:27 > 0:18:31an early age how to kill fleas. They're really hard to kill.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33- Fingernails.- Fingernails! You have to rip them in half,
0:18:33 > 0:18:35so that you see the blood.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39- Or you hear the crack.- Yeah, there's a crack!- You'll hear the crack.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43- You know.- If you want a link, if you like fleas,
0:18:43 > 0:18:47one of the stories in Tale Of Tales is the best flea story ever.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- It is so bizarre. - You are like, "What the hell?"
0:18:50 > 0:18:54- Anyway, sorry, I interrupted. - My dad had accidents with the cats.
0:18:54 > 0:18:59He was slightly distracted most of his life.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01I think that's how he ended up with my mum!
0:19:01 > 0:19:03LAUGHTER
0:19:03 > 0:19:07It was like, "Oh! Wow, don't know how that happened."
0:19:07 > 0:19:09And he tumble-dryered one cat.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14- That's very bad, Tamsin. - It was a man, in that age,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17doing the washing! What more do you want?
0:19:17 > 0:19:20The cat can't have liked that, Tamsin, in any way.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- Did they die?- It didn't die.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26I know somebody who did that and the cat died.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- OK, well...- This one didn't die? - It didn't die. It was a miracle.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32It'll be a better tumble dryer.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Yes, that was an American tumble dryer.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Our tumble dryers could be on for a year
0:19:37 > 0:19:40and you could still pick out a wet sheet with the cat going,
0:19:40 > 0:19:42"I'm a little warm, but not very."
0:19:42 > 0:19:45LAUGHTER
0:19:45 > 0:19:49In America, it's like beef jerky by the time you get it out.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52We'll have to hang this up for half an hour on the line after.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Just in case, please don't try it.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58No, no, no. Tamsin's father got away with it, but that's it.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00He got away with murder.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03He didn't murder me! I don't know why I did that.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Now, Kelsey, you're working with a dog again,
0:20:07 > 0:20:10new movie that you and Tamsin are in, you've got a dog called...
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Is the dog called Taxi always, or...?
0:20:11 > 0:20:15No, his name's Taxi in the film. I don't know what his name is, actually.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Taxi is a good name for a dog. - Taxi was a great name.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21It worked well in the film, because I say, "Taxi," and someone thinks
0:20:21 > 0:20:25I've called for a taxi on the other end of the phone,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27so, yes, it's a good name.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Tamsin, is that true or is that just a story, the people who
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- had to look after the Christian dog? - Oh, yes, I heard about...
0:20:34 > 0:20:37When you think about good names or bad names for a dog,
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Taxi is a good name for... Something you would shout,
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- a word that you might shout out in public.- Yes.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46And I heard of this Christian family
0:20:46 > 0:20:49who were very friendly with their neighbours,
0:20:49 > 0:20:52who were not Christians. And the Christian family had a dog,
0:20:52 > 0:20:56and they secretly named it, knowing that they would be going away
0:20:56 > 0:20:58and that the family next door would be looking after it,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01and it was a bolter, it would go.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04So the Christian family called the dog Repent.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09- I think that's brilliant. - That is brilliant.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14- Is that true?- Yeah.- So they had to be in the street going, "Repent!"
0:21:14 > 0:21:16"Repent, come back, you fucker."
0:21:20 > 0:21:23So, the new film is Breaking The Bank,
0:21:23 > 0:21:25and it's a proper British farce.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28I mean, it really is, it's that kind of Ealing Comedy style.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Yeah, it's a beautiful mainstream comedy, which is a kind of
0:21:31 > 0:21:36love child of Trading Places and The Big Short.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39At the heart of it, you've got a love story that breaks apart,
0:21:39 > 0:21:43but it's also a public service film about what shorting is.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47It explains in a very beautifully comedic way about certain banking
0:21:47 > 0:21:49terms that none of us understand.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54But the writer, Roger Devlin, cos it's a really funny script,
0:21:54 > 0:21:56but he comes from the financial services area?
0:21:56 > 0:21:58He is actually a banker, I suppose, yeah.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02It's sort of a mea culpa kind of thing, on his behalf.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05I think he wanted to try to say, "Gosh, I'm sorry we did this."
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Or, "How can I continue to make money out of it?"
0:22:09 > 0:22:15- He's doing splendidly.- Yeah. "I've been fired, how can I...?"
0:22:15 > 0:22:17He's also now on the board of the Football Association,
0:22:17 > 0:22:20so he really knows about...
0:22:20 > 0:22:22How does Roger land on his feet in so many ways?
0:22:22 > 0:22:26That's clearly going to be his next film. We've got a clip.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29This is you, Tamsin, reacting to the news that Kelsey's character
0:22:29 > 0:22:34- has essentially lost your family's bank.- Yes.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Penelope?!
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Penelope!
0:22:37 > 0:22:41Darling...you seem a little out of sorts.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43What makes you say that?
0:22:45 > 0:22:47That's Etruscan, 700 BC!
0:22:54 > 0:22:55I'm just as upset as you are.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57I seriously doubt that.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Wait!
0:23:04 > 0:23:08Oh, no, carry on. The golf club's worth more than the porcelain dog.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Thanks for telling me.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Don't you ever stop to think how remarkable it is, Charles...
0:23:14 > 0:23:18that your brain starts working the minute you get up in the morning...
0:23:18 > 0:23:21and then it carries on working, never missing a beat...
0:23:21 > 0:23:25until the second that you get to the office, and then, as if by magic...
0:23:25 > 0:23:27it suddenly...stops?
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Run a bank? You couldn't run a bath.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35APPLAUSE
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Breaking The Bank is in Empire Cinemas now,
0:23:44 > 0:23:48on digital download from Monday, and on DVD from Monday 20 June.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- There is every way to see that film. - Yes, there is.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Now, fans. Obviously everyone has fans.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Kelsey, when you were filming here, you met if not your biggest fan,
0:23:58 > 0:24:00certainly one of your biggest fans.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Certainly one of the biggest fans I've ever had, yeah.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Because, was she the girlfriend of someone who worked on the film?
0:24:05 > 0:24:08She was the girlfriend of one of the prop guys, I think.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10It was one of the guys that was helping.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15But, she... I was introduced to her, and he said,
0:24:15 > 0:24:17"Do you mind saying hello to my girlfriend?" and I said,
0:24:17 > 0:24:21"Of course not." He says, "She has a tattoo of you on her arm."
0:24:24 > 0:24:28And I said, "Oh. OK. Well, all right."
0:24:28 > 0:24:33And then, she explained to me that it was confusing for a lot of people
0:24:33 > 0:24:36because they would often ask her in a bar
0:24:36 > 0:24:39why she had a tattoo of Bill Clinton on her arm.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42LAUGHTER
0:24:42 > 0:24:46- There it is.- I thought, "How did they ever get Bill Clinton
0:24:46 > 0:24:48"out of that?" So I said,
0:24:48 > 0:24:51"Why don't I just sign it and you can have that tattooed in there?"
0:24:51 > 0:24:55- So that's what she finally did. - Oh... Wow.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Salma, you must have met people who've had you tattooed on them.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02- Actually, I have. - I knew it, you see!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04This is more common than we think!
0:25:04 > 0:25:08But the weirdest one was Danny Trejo.
0:25:08 > 0:25:13You know, the actor Danny Trejo from all these action films?
0:25:13 > 0:25:19He was actually in prison for many years for... He's now an actor.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20- Yes.- And he's very famous.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24But before, he was in prison for many years for robbing banks.
0:25:24 > 0:25:31And in prison he tattooed himself a huge tattoo of a woman here.
0:25:31 > 0:25:37And he learned how to act in prison, and then when he got out of prison
0:25:37 > 0:25:39he started working and, of course,
0:25:39 > 0:25:42he landed on the movie, my first movie that I did.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46And when he saw me for the first time, they told me,
0:25:46 > 0:25:50"You're going to meet this prisoner that is now an actor."
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I was a little bit afraid.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56And when I saw him for the first time, he saw me
0:25:56 > 0:26:01and he ran towards me and ripped his shirt off and said,
0:26:01 > 0:26:07"I knew you before I knew you. I dreamt you before I knew you!"
0:26:08 > 0:26:12And, sure enough, there was a picture of a woman
0:26:12 > 0:26:15that looks exactly like me.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18The body was a little bit better, but let's pretend...
0:26:18 > 0:26:19LAUGHTER
0:26:19 > 0:26:23- Exactly like me on his chest. - Wow.- Yes, yes.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27- That is very peculiar. - He said, "I just got out of jail,
0:26:27 > 0:26:32"and I'm happy but, for you, I would rob another bank!"
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- So that was the strangest tattoo. - APPLAUSE
0:26:37 > 0:26:38That's a fan.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42Now, Rhod Gilbert, I know you have tattoos,
0:26:42 > 0:26:46cos the last time you were here you showed us your flaming Battenburg.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49That's not a euphemism. That's an actual tattoo.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- Do I need a bike pump? - LAUGHTER
0:26:54 > 0:26:56But now you've added to your collection.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Don't call it a collection! That's a big word. I've got one more.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02I got one more. But not through choice.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Well... I didn't want the first one
0:27:04 > 0:27:06and I didn't want the second one either.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08So why did you get the second one?
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Well, I only got the first one because of a TV show.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12The show I do, Rhod Gilbert's Work Experience,
0:27:12 > 0:27:15I try out different jobs, I was trying to be a tattooist
0:27:15 > 0:27:18and the producer said, "You've got to have a tattoo." I said I didn't want one.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21In the end, I went, "They're pointless," and to prove that they're pointless,
0:27:21 > 0:27:24I had the most pointless tattoo I could think of,
0:27:24 > 0:27:27which was a Battenburg, on fire, on a cushion, which I've got there.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29I'm very petty and wanted to win the argument.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31In my head I went, "Right, that showed them."
0:27:33 > 0:27:35But then, a few years later, I was doing...
0:27:35 > 0:27:38I didn't have a punchline to a show.
0:27:38 > 0:27:43I didn't have an ending to a show, so I flew to New York
0:27:43 > 0:27:46and took a potato with me.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51So I ended up getting a tattoo of the potato on my other shoulder.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56And I tattooed the potato with my flaming Battenburg,
0:27:56 > 0:27:59so the potato had one of me, and I had one of it. That was the point.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02We've got a picture of the tattoo, there it is.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06You can just see a glimpse of the Battenburg over there.
0:28:06 > 0:28:07And here is...
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Now, what sort of potato is that?
0:28:09 > 0:28:10It's a King Edward.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16What about your wife's name?
0:28:16 > 0:28:18- What, Sian?- Yes.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21How about tattooing her name for her birthday?
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Because that would be a meaningful tattoo. I never wanted a
0:28:24 > 0:28:26meaningful tattoo. I just want pointless tattoos.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30- Anyway... - You're winning, Rhod.- I'm winning.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33The worst thing is, it's not even like a potato.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36I came away and thought, "God, that's a really good likeness
0:28:36 > 0:28:38"of the potato." But then I forget it's there.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40I was on a beach a couple of years ago in Wales,
0:28:40 > 0:28:45the one nice day we had, and some kids came up to me holding hands,
0:28:45 > 0:28:47a little boy and girl, and they said, "Excuse me, sir,"
0:28:47 > 0:28:50and I thought, "Oh, they're going to ask for an autograph,
0:28:50 > 0:28:53"or the usual, a photo." I went, "Yes, what is it?"
0:28:53 > 0:28:57The little boy went, "Why have you got a massive shite on your back?"
0:28:57 > 0:28:59LAUGHTER
0:29:05 > 0:29:08It is a little turd-like.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10"A massive shite, sir."
0:29:10 > 0:29:13- But, Kelsey, you've got ink, haven't you?- Just a little one.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17- I actually have my wife's name tattooed.- See, it's meaningful.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20She asked me if I would ever actually do that, and I said,
0:29:20 > 0:29:22"Yeah, sure, of course I would."
0:29:22 > 0:29:24- Is she called Potato? - No.- That's good.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28- No, it's actually just her name, Kayte.- Where is it?
0:29:28 > 0:29:29Somewhere near, you know...
0:29:31 > 0:29:33This is a picture of it being done.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36It gives you an idea of where it might be.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39- RHOD:- God, it's internal! - LAUGHTER
0:29:41 > 0:29:44- Is it on your bicycle pump?- Exactly.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46Talk about marking your territory!
0:29:48 > 0:29:51I've never seen anyone look quite so relaxed having a tattoo done.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54Are you sure that's a photo from the tattoo thing?
0:29:54 > 0:29:57It was a bit scratchy, I thought, but I'd had a parrot for years
0:29:57 > 0:30:01and he used to bite me all the time, and that was worse than this.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03That is a parrot that needs rescuing!
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Oh, dear. Hey, Rhod Gilbert, new TV series.
0:30:08 > 0:30:12You are looking for the UK's best part-time band.
0:30:12 > 0:30:13It's a catchy title!
0:30:13 > 0:30:16No, no, that says part-time band...
0:30:16 > 0:30:18It's BBC Four, Fridays at 9:00.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20It started tonight, but you can see that on catch-up,
0:30:20 > 0:30:23and the final will be in a few weeks on BBC Two.
0:30:23 > 0:30:27Is it as simple as... A part-time band is just not a full-time band?
0:30:27 > 0:30:28It is that.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30It's so much fun, it is so much fun.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33It's a lot more fun than the title sounds.
0:30:33 > 0:30:37As you saw from that picture, it's me, and I go out on tour, basically,
0:30:37 > 0:30:40on the road for a week with Jazzie B from Soul II Soul...
0:30:40 > 0:30:42You know, "Back to life..."
0:30:42 > 0:30:45A week with Peter Hook, Joy Division, New Order,
0:30:45 > 0:30:47and then a week with Midge Ure... Midge Ure!
0:30:47 > 0:30:51And we just look at part-time bands, so people who play music
0:30:51 > 0:30:53just for the love of it, as a passion, as a part-time thing,
0:30:53 > 0:30:55not their main source of income.
0:30:55 > 0:30:58And it's the most fun I've ever had. It's been a joy.
0:30:58 > 0:30:59It's been an absolute joy.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02And on BBC Two, for the final, what do they win?
0:31:02 > 0:31:04Nothing.
0:31:04 > 0:31:05It's BBC Two, mate!
0:31:05 > 0:31:07LAUGHTER
0:31:07 > 0:31:09An hour in the green room with me.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:31:16 > 0:31:18We've got a clip. This is you meeting one...
0:31:18 > 0:31:22I know this is one of your favourite part-time bands.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24HE PLAYS HARMONICA
0:31:36 > 0:31:37APPLAUSE
0:31:37 > 0:31:41- Are you sure you're all in the band?- We've lost a couple.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44Yeah, we had one die last week, unfortunately.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46What, one of the band died last week?
0:31:46 > 0:31:48Yeah, and then we lost a drummer last year.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Thank fuck we've got two others.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55One and a spare! How the hell do you get together for rehearsals?
0:31:55 > 0:31:56We don't rehearse.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58I'm glad you said that.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00THEY LAUGH
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Midge, you're going to get a kick in the bollocks.
0:32:02 > 0:32:07That's how I can still hit the high notes in Vienna.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09APPLAUSE
0:32:12 > 0:32:17- So much fun.- Yeah, why are you really rooting for those guys?
0:32:17 > 0:32:22I'm so invested in all of them. We got so close to all of them.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25I'm so invested. Those guys were called Pieces of Mind.
0:32:25 > 0:32:29In 1966, they supported The Who. And then they split up,
0:32:29 > 0:32:32went off and had their lives and jobs.
0:32:32 > 0:32:3445 years, they just went off.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37And then they just started playing again in the last couple of years,
0:32:37 > 0:32:39and they're amazing. Absolutely amazing.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41- They sounded really good there. - They are SO good.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44So, in that band, they've got a sweepstake to get to the final?
0:32:44 > 0:32:48Oh, yeah, they said to me, "We've got a sweepstake." That lead singer,
0:32:48 > 0:32:52they're from Pontypool, in west Wales, but he's quite a Cockney.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55He was going, "Yeah, we've got a sweepstake, Rhod, about the finals."
0:32:55 > 0:32:58And I was like, "That's quite confident, quite cocky,
0:32:58 > 0:33:00"having a sweepstake at this early stage about the final."
0:33:00 > 0:33:02He goes, "No, no, no. A sweepstake to see
0:33:02 > 0:33:04"who's fucking still alive when the final goes out."
0:33:04 > 0:33:05APPLAUSE
0:33:09 > 0:33:11It's so funny. So funny.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16Now, Kelsey, talking of singing,
0:33:16 > 0:33:20how did the singing lead to Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons?
0:33:20 > 0:33:24Ah, well, Sam Simon, who created The Simpsons,
0:33:24 > 0:33:27was one of the writers on Cheers, years ago.
0:33:27 > 0:33:31And as I do, as is my wont, I would walk onto the set sometimes
0:33:31 > 0:33:33and I would usually sing...
0:33:33 > 0:33:36# Oh, the good life. #
0:33:36 > 0:33:38Kind of in my best Tony Bennett derivative.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41And he called me one afternoon and said,
0:33:41 > 0:33:43"Hey, do you still sing, Kels?"
0:33:43 > 0:33:46Could you sing a Cole Porter song? Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48I said, "Of course I could. Yeah, I love that song."
0:33:48 > 0:33:51He said, "Well, we've got this character who's never actually
0:33:51 > 0:33:53"said anything on the show.
0:33:53 > 0:33:58"He's Krusty The Clown's sideshow, we call him Sideshow Bob.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01"And we want him to speak finally and we thought you should do it.
0:34:01 > 0:34:04"Can you sing this Cole Porter song?"
0:34:04 > 0:34:05I said I'd certainly do that.
0:34:05 > 0:34:06And then I read the script
0:34:06 > 0:34:09and it was actually really funny and wonderful.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13But he was very cultured, and I borrowed...
0:34:13 > 0:34:15At that time it seemed like the opportunity...
0:34:15 > 0:34:18I had logged away a voice years ago
0:34:18 > 0:34:20when I worked for a man named Ellis Rabb
0:34:20 > 0:34:23who had started a theatre company in New York City,
0:34:23 > 0:34:24had great success.
0:34:24 > 0:34:29And when I was working for him, I was painting his bathroom
0:34:29 > 0:34:32and hanging wallpaper and stuff like that.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35I wasn't really a successful actor at the time.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37But Ellis would regale me with stories
0:34:37 > 0:34:39when he'd come home from work always
0:34:39 > 0:34:41and he would say things like this, he'd say,
0:34:41 > 0:34:47"Oh, Kelsey, that baby should have been mine."
0:34:49 > 0:34:52This guy. I'm going to use him someday.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57And when I read the script for Sideshow Bob,
0:34:57 > 0:34:59I said, "This is Ellis Rabb."
0:34:59 > 0:35:03And it went immediately into, "Oh, Bart,
0:35:03 > 0:35:06"I just despise you."
0:35:06 > 0:35:08APPLAUSE
0:35:13 > 0:35:15All right, it is time for our musical guest tonight.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18This lady burst onto the music scene 15 years ago
0:35:18 > 0:35:20with her incredible debut, Falling.
0:35:20 > 0:35:25Since then, she's won 15 Grammys and sold over 30 million records.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27Here performing her new single, In Common,
0:35:27 > 0:35:28is the fabulous Alicia Keys.
0:35:39 > 0:35:40Yeah.
0:35:47 > 0:35:48Yes.
0:35:52 > 0:35:53Mm.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55Mhm.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59# Said I'd be gone by five
0:36:01 > 0:36:03# But it's sunrise And I'm still in your bed
0:36:05 > 0:36:08# Goodnight usually means goodbye
0:36:08 > 0:36:12# And me replaying memories In my head
0:36:12 > 0:36:16# Look at you, look at you Look what you made me do
0:36:16 > 0:36:20# How do you, how do you figure my every move?
0:36:20 > 0:36:24# Who are you? Who are you? You look so familiar
0:36:24 > 0:36:27# I know you, I know you Baby, I know the truth
0:36:27 > 0:36:29# We got way too much in common
0:36:32 > 0:36:35# If I'm being honest with you
0:36:35 > 0:36:40# We got way too much in common
0:36:40 > 0:36:43# Since I'm being honest with you
0:36:43 > 0:36:46# Who wants to love somebody like me?
0:36:46 > 0:36:49# You wanna love somebody like me If you could love somebody like me
0:36:49 > 0:36:51# You must be messed up, too
0:36:51 > 0:36:53# Who wants to love somebody like me?
0:36:53 > 0:36:57# You wanna love somebody like me If you could love somebody like me
0:36:57 > 0:36:59# You must be messed up, too
0:37:01 > 0:37:03# We used to talk until midnight
0:37:04 > 0:37:07# All those days that you stayed at my house
0:37:08 > 0:37:11# We were just passing the time
0:37:12 > 0:37:15# We were young and we ain't had no vows
0:37:16 > 0:37:19# Nah, nah, nah Maybe later on I'll text you
0:37:19 > 0:37:21# Maybe you'll reply
0:37:21 > 0:37:24# We both know we have no patience Together day and night
0:37:24 > 0:37:28# Getting high on our supply Yeah, we ain't satisfied
0:37:28 > 0:37:31# I could love you all occasions
0:37:31 > 0:37:35# We got way too much in common
0:37:35 > 0:37:39# If I'm being honest with you
0:37:39 > 0:37:44# We got way too much in common
0:37:44 > 0:37:46# Since I'm being honest with you
0:37:47 > 0:37:50# Who wants to love somebody like me?
0:37:50 > 0:37:53# You wanna love somebody like me If you could love somebody like me
0:37:53 > 0:37:55# You must be messed up, too
0:37:55 > 0:37:57# Who wants to love somebody like me?
0:37:57 > 0:38:01# You wanna love somebody like me If you could love somebody like me
0:38:01 > 0:38:03# You must be messed up, too
0:38:04 > 0:38:08# Messed up, too Messed up, too
0:38:08 > 0:38:12# Just like you Just like you
0:38:12 > 0:38:16# Messed up, too Messed up, too
0:38:16 > 0:38:20# Just like you Just like you
0:38:27 > 0:38:29# We got way too much in common
0:38:31 > 0:38:35# If I'm being honest with you
0:38:35 > 0:38:40# We got way too much in common
0:38:40 > 0:38:44# Since I'm being honest with you
0:38:44 > 0:38:49# Who's going to love? Who's going to love?
0:38:49 > 0:38:52# Oh, yeah
0:38:52 > 0:38:56# Who's going to love? Who's going to touch?
0:38:56 > 0:38:59# Oh, yeah
0:38:59 > 0:39:01# Oh, baby
0:39:01 > 0:39:05# La la la la la
0:39:05 > 0:39:08# La la la
0:39:08 > 0:39:12# La la la la la
0:39:12 > 0:39:17# La la la. #
0:39:19 > 0:39:24APPLAUSE
0:39:24 > 0:39:25Thank you.
0:39:26 > 0:39:31Beautiful. Alicia Keys and her band and her backing singers.
0:39:31 > 0:39:36Come and join me, you. That's gorgeous.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40- Thank you.- Thank you so much. Alicia Keys.- Thank you.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42Come and join us on the sofa.
0:39:42 > 0:39:43Good sofa.
0:39:43 > 0:39:45- Sit there, my darling. - Hi.- Hi. How are you?
0:39:45 > 0:39:50It's Rhod, it's Tamsin, it's Kelsey, it's Salma.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Good to see you, how you doing?
0:39:52 > 0:39:55- It's my baby.- Ah!
0:39:56 > 0:39:59This couch is funny. I was watching y'all.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02- Do you know each other? Or was that just a fan...?- No, no, no, I know.
0:40:02 > 0:40:05But I am a fan.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07Yeah, well, listen, we all are. Thank you very much.
0:40:07 > 0:40:09That single is out now, In Common.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11The voice is Alicia Keys,
0:40:11 > 0:40:13but the vibe is kind of different, isn't it?
0:40:13 > 0:40:16Yeah. No, definitely. I've been feeling different.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18I've been feeling really connected to myself.
0:40:18 > 0:40:20I've just been feeling like...
0:40:20 > 0:40:24Being so good with being vulnerable and raw.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27The song itself says, you know, if you can love somebody like me,
0:40:27 > 0:40:29you must be messed up, too.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31I feel like we're all works in progresses
0:40:31 > 0:40:33and when we can admit and just own that,
0:40:33 > 0:40:35you know, we set ourselves free.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38I'm feeling good, it's summertime. We're like...
0:40:38 > 0:40:39APPLAUSE
0:40:39 > 0:40:42It's very sexy. It's very, very sexy, that song.
0:40:42 > 0:40:43It's feeling good, thank you.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46- There was a clubby, funky vibe. - I loved it.- It's lovely.
0:40:46 > 0:40:47How does it work now?
0:40:47 > 0:40:50We just buy that song right now and then...
0:40:50 > 0:40:52And then the album will come later. Yes, you get this now so you can
0:40:52 > 0:40:56just live and vibe and feel the summer vibrations.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58And then when the album comes, you'll know.
0:40:58 > 0:40:59And then you go and get it.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01So, you're, like, teasing us.
0:41:01 > 0:41:04- A little, tiny, tiny bit of foreplay.- Oh, gosh.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06LAUGHTER
0:41:08 > 0:41:10Thank you very much, Alicia Keys.
0:41:10 > 0:41:11Very good.
0:41:11 > 0:41:12OK.
0:41:13 > 0:41:18I think we've just got time for a very quick visit
0:41:18 > 0:41:21to the big red chair. So, who do we find there?
0:41:21 > 0:41:23- Hello.- Hello.- He looks like...
0:41:30 > 0:41:33- Aw!- Oh, no!
0:41:33 > 0:41:34He dressed to match a chair!
0:41:39 > 0:41:40I hope it wasn't a good...
0:41:40 > 0:41:44I tell you what, he can change his clothes and come back.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46Who's up next?
0:41:46 > 0:41:47Oh!
0:41:49 > 0:41:51LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:41:51 > 0:41:52Yes!
0:41:54 > 0:41:55Yes, Graham.
0:41:55 > 0:41:59He hasn't even taken his hat off!
0:41:59 > 0:42:01Graham, you've dressed to match your chair, to be fair.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03Give him a chance.
0:42:03 > 0:42:05That's true, you've dressed to match your chair.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07Well, I didn't... I was dressed.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09- OK.- OK, what's your name, sir?
0:42:09 > 0:42:10My name is Pedro.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13OK, lovely, Pedro. And do you live here or somewhere else?
0:42:13 > 0:42:15I live in London but I am from Mexico City originally.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18More Spanish in the show.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21- You're cheering right now. - I hope this story's not about me!
0:42:21 > 0:42:25- You know it is going to be. - Have I met you before?
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Off you go, Pedro.
0:42:27 > 0:42:31So, on weekends, my boyfriend and I run this Mexican-street-food stall
0:42:31 > 0:42:33at Sunday Upmarket on Brick Lane.
0:42:33 > 0:42:37And we sell these Mexican flatbreads that are stuffed,
0:42:37 > 0:42:40- that are called gorditas. - Oh, they're good.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42I am sure Salma knows what gorditas are,
0:42:42 > 0:42:43most people in London don't know.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45We're the first people here selling them,
0:42:45 > 0:42:49so we came up with the idea to try and yell out the
0:42:49 > 0:42:50name of our product,
0:42:50 > 0:42:54like they do in the markets in Mexico, to attract people.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57Unfortunately, what we didn't know is that Sunday Upmarket,
0:42:57 > 0:43:00it's very popular with Spanish tourists.
0:43:00 > 0:43:04And actually, gorditas, the name of our product,
0:43:04 > 0:43:06in Spanish means "little fat women".
0:43:06 > 0:43:09It does!
0:43:09 > 0:43:12So, after an hour of yelling, "Gordita! Gordita! Gordita!",
0:43:12 > 0:43:16to people, we realised that it wasn't a good strategy because
0:43:16 > 0:43:18we were calling customers fat.
0:43:18 > 0:43:22So, we did not do it after that.
0:43:22 > 0:43:23Yeah, whatever!
0:43:23 > 0:43:25OK.
0:43:25 > 0:43:28I want the address where I can go and buy the gorditas.
0:43:28 > 0:43:29We'll get you gorditas.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31Well done, everyone.
0:43:31 > 0:43:33If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go in the red chair,
0:43:33 > 0:43:36you can contact us via our website at this very address.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37That is it for tonight.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39So, please say a huge thank you to my guests.
0:43:39 > 0:43:42Alicia Keys! APPLAUSE
0:43:42 > 0:43:45Mr Rhod Gilbert. APPLAUSE
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Tamsin Greig. APPLAUSE
0:43:47 > 0:43:50Kelsey Grammer. APPLAUSE
0:43:50 > 0:43:54And Salma Hayek. APPLAUSE
0:43:54 > 0:43:57Do join me next week, with music from Tom Odell,
0:43:57 > 0:44:00Aussie heart-throb Liam Hemsworth, Hollywood star Jeff Goldblum
0:44:00 > 0:44:02and the mighty Rock himself, Dwayne Johnson.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05I'll see you then. Good night, everyone. Bye-bye!