0:00:02 > 0:00:04Hi, I'm Carrie Fisher and this is the Graham Norton Show!
0:00:04 > 0:00:06CHEERING
0:00:22 > 0:00:27Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! CHEERING
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Oh! Oh!
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Ah!
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Hello, everybody.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39Too much. Hey, everybody, it's Friday night! Yes, it is.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Did you all have a good week?
0:00:42 > 0:00:44- AUDIENCE:- Yes!- So far.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47We've got a great sofa for you this week including, ladies and
0:00:47 > 0:00:50gentlemen... Princess Leia herself, Carrie Fisher is on the show.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Yes. CHEERING
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Now, she's talking about her diaries,
0:00:55 > 0:00:57including the revelation that
0:00:57 > 0:01:02this kiss with Harrison Ford wasn't the only one they enjoyed.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Get my drift, get my drift, get my drift? Yup.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Yeah, Carrie has finally admitted
0:01:06 > 0:01:08she had an affair with Harrison Ford.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Yes. Of course, not the only
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Star Wars co-star she left broken-hearted.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16AS YODA: Call me the next morning she didn't.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19That's good, I'm going on tour.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Also on the show I'm delighted to welcome the artist
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Grayson Perry, ladies and gentlemen.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29We love Grayson, that's him with his pottery creation for which
0:01:29 > 0:01:32he won the Turner Prize. Yeah, he did.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35And actually, earlier this week, the Turner Prize winner was announced.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39This was, of course, one of the finalists that got all the press.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42And you do sort of think, "Quite glad it didn't win."
0:01:42 > 0:01:45I mean, you wouldn't want the Queen attending that opening, would you? No.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52A huge golden arsehole.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Have I shown a picture of some golden arseholes before?
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Oh, exactly, yes. Let's get some guests out.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Later we will be meeting everyone's favourite Bake Off winner.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Nadia Hussain will be here.
0:02:04 > 0:02:09And we've music from the comeback kids, Busted. Yeah.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11But first, she's one of the funniest women in Britain and
0:02:11 > 0:02:13now she's the new host of QI,
0:02:13 > 0:02:15please welcome the great Dane herself, it's Sandi Toksvig.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Wow.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Look at you. It's a new person. Hello. Lovely to see you.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Sandi Toksvig, have a seat.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29This artist puts the OTT into pottery,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32he's won not only the Turner Prize but also two Baftas and is
0:02:32 > 0:02:34one of the best-known figures in the contemporary art world.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Please welcome Grayson Perry, everybody.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Hello. Hi, hi, hi, hi.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Lovely...to see you. Come in, sit down. Sandi, Grayson.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47And from a galaxy far, far away comes an actress,
0:02:47 > 0:02:50a bestselling author and one of the most famous pop-culture icons
0:02:50 > 0:02:54in the world, it is Princess Leia herself, Carrie Fisher.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Oh, look at that!
0:02:58 > 0:03:00It's the actual Carrie Fisher. Hello.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Welcome, all, very nice to see you all. Welcome back, welcome back.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- First-time for Grayson Perry.- Yes.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- Now, Carrie...- Yes.- ..Sandi, you look lovely...
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- But...- ..one guest made an effort.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22That's all I'm saying.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24He borrowed the dress from me, so...
0:03:24 > 0:03:27I know that people would be disappointed if I didn't wear
0:03:27 > 0:03:30a dress and, being on telly, you want to kind of have something to look
0:03:30 > 0:03:35- at because telly is a visual medium. - Yes.- And I can do civvies any time.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Are people disappointed when you're out and about and you're not
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- dressed like this? - One day I was just pulling up
0:03:39 > 0:03:42some road works on my bicycle and the man who was sort of digging
0:03:42 > 0:03:46the hole sort of looked up and he said, "Shouldn't you be in a dress?"
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- Even he was disappointed. - In fact, do you know what?
0:03:51 > 0:03:52We were talking about this,
0:03:52 > 0:03:55I think you are the first artist we've ever had on the show.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57So I've got to carry the baggage
0:03:57 > 0:04:00of the entire contemporary-art community.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04Yes, if you go well, we're going to have artists every week.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- If you mess it up, that's it, it's finished.- Finished, finished.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Because, Carrie, you buy a lot of art, don't you?
0:04:09 > 0:04:10I do buy a lot of art.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- I like my art to be, like, video art a little bit.- Oh...- Oh...
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Uh-oh. It was all going so well!
0:04:18 > 0:04:22No, that's only because I discovered it recently and I couldn't
0:04:22 > 0:04:24believe the paintings were...
0:04:24 > 0:04:28I always look at it and just think, "Hmm, it's sort of boring telly."
0:04:28 > 0:04:31There are butterflies! Butterflies!
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Oh, no...
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I'd take something still from you any time.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- Why do you like the video art? What is it about it that you like so much?- It moves me.
0:04:42 > 0:04:47Honestly, I had one that moved really slowly and I'm being,
0:04:47 > 0:04:50like, sort of a super person watching the painting...
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Like watching paint dry but this watches paintings move,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56so it was just one step up from the other.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59I have still paintings and drink prosecco, it has the same effect.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03- APPLAUSE - I can't drink.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05See, that's the trouble with being an ex-drug addict.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06- Yeah, I know.- Sorry.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Let's start, there's lots to talk about.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Carrie Fisher, Carrie Fisher has a new book out.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14It's called, The Princess Diarist.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18It's out now and it is... It's a real treat for anyone
0:05:18 > 0:05:20but for Star Wars fans in particular.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Now, the book begins when you find these diaries, and had you
0:05:23 > 0:05:25lost them or did you forget you wrote them?
0:05:25 > 0:05:28I forgot that I wrote them and I handwrite everything,
0:05:28 > 0:05:33so they were sort of in a storage room under my bedroom - mysterious!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I've been in your bedroom, where's the storeroom?
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Well, you have to go outside to find it.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- I don't like to go there because there's spiders.- Yes.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45And so we brought all these things up thinking,
0:05:45 > 0:05:48"Well, I have to put things in a book, maybe there will be a line that's funny."
0:05:48 > 0:05:52That didn't happen and... But I found these three...
0:05:52 > 0:05:58I wrote these diaries here and I was a little...
0:05:59 > 0:06:01..saddened by them.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05I'm very insecure in the books and I didn't recall
0:06:05 > 0:06:08that I was that insecure.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12No, because we were talking and you were saying that you haven't
0:06:12 > 0:06:14- altered the diaries at all.- At all.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15The diaries are precisely
0:06:15 > 0:06:18what 19-year-old Carrie Fisher was writing.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21And I wanted to take some of the stuff out and I should have.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23No, I think you were right to leave it all in.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- It's good. It's good to show your vulnerability.- Everything.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Because that's what people warm to.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Because I think if you'd edited the diaries to try and make
0:06:30 > 0:06:33yourself seem more sophisticated or something, it would be terrible.
0:06:33 > 0:06:38No, it sounds like a 19-year-old girl who's having (an affair)
0:06:38 > 0:06:42with a 34-year-old...man.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44LAUGHTER
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Let's call him a man.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Let's go with that.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Because the heart of this book, of course,
0:06:50 > 0:06:54is the love affair between yourself and Harrison.
0:06:54 > 0:06:59- Now, given that it did happen 40 years ago...- I just remembered.
0:07:01 > 0:07:07One, there's that, but also it has caused a sensation.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09You would think that people would kind of go,
0:07:09 > 0:07:12"Oh, two young actors, yeah, of course they...had an affair."
0:07:12 > 0:07:15But this has caused ructions.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18400,000 news services picked it up.
0:07:19 > 0:07:24- Wow.- And it became a little embarrassing for me.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27But here's the thing - and I do find this extraordinary -
0:07:27 > 0:07:30so 40 years ago you have this affair over the months of
0:07:30 > 0:07:36the movie, and you say you literally never spoke about it again.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39And yet you've been seeing him off and on for the whole time.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41I've seen him more on than...
0:07:41 > 0:07:45I became friends with his second wife then and we saw
0:07:45 > 0:07:51each other a lot and, no, I can literally remember three times that
0:07:51 > 0:07:56we... I, of course, made some oblique reference to it and he went...
0:07:56 > 0:07:57- SHE GRUMBLES:- "Rrrgh."
0:08:01 > 0:08:04But now he's going to have to talk about it for the rest of his life.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06That's what you...
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I never thought of that and leave it to Graham to now...
0:08:08 > 0:08:11But if you talk like that, if he goes, "Rrrgh,"
0:08:11 > 0:08:13you should have used that quote on the front of the book.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16"Rrrgh." - Harrison.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17"A good read...a good rrrgh."
0:08:20 > 0:08:24And the thing is, also, because now Star Wars fans - or anyone, really -
0:08:24 > 0:08:25that they've got this,
0:08:25 > 0:08:30they can see things in the films that they didn't see before.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Like we have this clip from The Empire Strikes Back.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35That is when the actual love affair between Princess Leia and Han Solo
0:08:35 > 0:08:38sort of begins in the movie and there's the famous scene where,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I think it's well known that Harrison improv-ed the line at the end.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43We'll just have a quick look.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I love you.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56I know.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Ohh!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03It was originally... It was originally written,
0:09:03 > 0:09:07"I love you." "I love you."
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Which wasn't that clever. And Harrison changed it to, "I know."
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- Which, well, when you think of the...- Yes.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16But you were still young there.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20Was that a bit of a slap in the face, like, "You're saying WHAT?"
0:09:21 > 0:09:26But he doesn't... He's not a very verbal person.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28But when he is, he's very witty.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30But he's no people pleaser, so it's not like,
0:09:30 > 0:09:33"Have you heard this one?".
0:09:33 > 0:09:35It comes out witty and you have to take
0:09:35 > 0:09:37a second sometimes to realise it was funny.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Yeah, and filming together...
0:09:39 > 0:09:41LAUGHTER
0:09:41 > 0:09:45That is going to be in the Daily Mail tomorrow.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49You were filmed together for The Force Awakens,
0:09:49 > 0:09:52obviously you came back together again, and there's a picture of you
0:09:52 > 0:09:53at Comic-Con and you kind of think,
0:09:53 > 0:09:56"Did Mark Hamill really not know?" I mean...
0:09:56 > 0:10:00He really didn't know and I actually thought, "Well, he must have..."
0:10:00 > 0:10:03And when I told him he was shocked.
0:10:03 > 0:10:08- I think he felt a little betrayed, quite honestly.- Because...?
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Well, we were brother and sister and there's that problem with
0:10:11 > 0:10:13that kiss in the second movie.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Yes, there's all of that but did nobody on the set know?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18I promise you, no-one knew.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20So no-one's come out since the book and went...
0:10:20 > 0:10:22"Oh, I knew that!"
0:10:22 > 0:10:25No, but the fans had also started calling it Carrison.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26So they'd been speculating on it.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29I get fan mail that says, "If Harrison's there, say hi."
0:10:29 > 0:10:31I mean, they really like to think...
0:10:31 > 0:10:35So we were Han and Leia during the week and, you know...
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- Carrison at the weekend.- Yes.- Nice.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38In terms of diaries, Grayson,
0:10:38 > 0:10:41you have kept journals over the years, haven't you?
0:10:41 > 0:10:46Yeah, when I kind of... Before the Turner Prize, but I just thought...
0:10:46 > 0:10:50I'd already published my biography up until I was 22 and
0:10:50 > 0:10:55so I thought at some point I may want to publish another one and
0:10:55 > 0:10:58so I keep a diary, I've kept a diary for decades.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00So you can publish quickly. "Yeah, publish those.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- "I've already written it, there you go."- Isn't that what they say?
0:11:03 > 0:11:07- Keep a diary so one day it'll keep you. I think that's what they say. - Hello.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12That's what they said.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Grayson Perry, Grayson Perry has also written a book.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21It's called, The Descent Of Man and it's out now.
0:11:21 > 0:11:27And I suppose it's really about what purpose masculinity has now.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Yeah, there's a kind of redundancy about it and, you know,
0:11:30 > 0:11:32what really spurred me on was,
0:11:32 > 0:11:34sometimes I think the newsreaders,
0:11:34 > 0:11:36especially as a female newsreader,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I'd like them to sort of come up at the beginning of
0:11:38 > 0:11:41the news and say, "Let's see what shit men have been up to now."
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Because you look at the troubles of the world,
0:11:45 > 0:11:47it's men who are doing most of it.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Of course, most men are lovely but most crime is done by men,
0:11:50 > 0:11:52most of the awful things are done by men.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55I'm looking at masculinity and seeing how we could change it.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59And the thing I want to say to men is - it's not all about loss.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02You know, a lot of the traditional things we regard as masculine,
0:12:02 > 0:12:04about kind of wearing this kind of
0:12:04 > 0:12:06armour, I think it's an unburdening and you might find that there's
0:12:06 > 0:12:10a positive side to changing what it is to be masculine.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12You might like it. You might have better friendships.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15But do you not think, Grayson, that you credit men in
0:12:15 > 0:12:18a way with more emotional intelligence than we have?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I don't want to be too harsh because I don't want to stereotype them.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26- Oh, stereotypes...- I don't want to make men too defensive.
0:12:26 > 0:12:27I want them to be open to change, you know?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30So I didn't want to kind of say, "You're like this, you're like this."
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I wanted to say, "Look, I'm a bit like this too but, hey, look,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35"you could change, it might be nice."
0:12:35 > 0:12:38But isn't so much of that behaviour just about trying to get laid?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Yeah, a lot of it is.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44And a big problem with our sexuality is it suffers from what
0:12:44 > 0:12:46I would call cultural lag.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49So our sexuality was formed when we were young in our childhood,
0:12:49 > 0:12:52so therefore it's kind of attached to how the world was then
0:12:52 > 0:12:54as well a bit. So therefore, you know,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56men - and women to a certain extent -
0:12:56 > 0:12:59they like an old-fashioned version of what turns them on.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03I was talking to some women when researching the book and this
0:13:03 > 0:13:05woman was saying, "Oh, middle-class men,
0:13:05 > 0:13:07"they're not as macho as they used to be."
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I said, "Would you REALLY want a man like that?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12"You know, a kind of domineering, sexist man."
0:13:12 > 0:13:14She said, "Oh, in the bedroom."
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Sort of "pull me back into the cave" kind of thing?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Yeah, because you look at... Fifty Shades Of Grey sold
0:13:20 > 0:13:25- incredibly well but I bet it didn't sell very well in Afghanistan.- No.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Do you know what I mean? It's like submissiveness...
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Good point well made.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33Submissiveness as a leisure activity, I'm sort of thinking.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Fifty Shades sales in Afghanistan never occurred to me.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39I'm going to Google it now.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42It's one of the markets she's really trying to break into.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47But there is a point about how most of the world is designed for
0:13:47 > 0:13:49men and men of an average height.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51So if you're a woman and you go to a service station and you wash
0:13:51 > 0:13:53your hands and you go to dry them,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55the drier is set by some bloke who's put it on the wall and
0:13:55 > 0:13:58immediately you do that and the water all runs down your elbow.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Or lecterns. Lecterns are a really interesting thing.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I was at the Hay Festival. Have you done the Hay Festival, Carrie? Yeah.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05At the Hay Festival, you stand up and talk at a lectern
0:14:05 > 0:14:08and it comes to here on me. Lecterns are designed for men to say important things.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09They're not designed for women,
0:14:09 > 0:14:11like Carrie and myself, to say important things.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Actually, it's funny, the subtle sexist things like that.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17In the book you talk about air conditioning, which I'd never thought about.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19There was a news story last year that said that air conditioning
0:14:19 > 0:14:22was sexist because it was always set for men's comfort because
0:14:22 > 0:14:25they wear suits, so therefore they're wearing a bit more clothes.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Whereas women in dresses and less heavy clothes,
0:14:28 > 0:14:29they're always complaining about being...
0:14:29 > 0:14:32And they have smaller bodies as well, so they get colder easier.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I always thought in Star Wars they have
0:14:34 > 0:14:38no female planet that is overtly female.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40You know, where there's spas and the caricature of females.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42They do caricature of males.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45I just thought there should be more female...
0:14:45 > 0:14:48My planet blew up with my parents on it and I'm more upset
0:14:48 > 0:14:50about Harrison going into the...
0:14:50 > 0:14:53LAUGHTER
0:14:53 > 0:14:55That's what we need, a feminist Star Wars.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59There's no therapists in space.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03But it is odd that if you are creating worlds,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06you would create worlds with so few women in them.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- There's you, essentially. - It must be exhausting.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10I was there for the whole crew.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14APPLAUSE
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Now, that will be in the Daily Mail!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19More diaries to come!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Volume two, volume two.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24No, I'm doing a bunch of books on men I haven't slept with.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Storm Trooper 456.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31You talked earlier about how men are to blame for most things and
0:15:31 > 0:15:36you have a radical idea in the book, a suggestion about men paying tax.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39There was a news story this year about tampon tax about how women
0:15:39 > 0:15:43shouldn't pay tax, VAT, on sanitary products.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45And I thought, "Yeah, that's good."
0:15:45 > 0:15:48If you look at... You know, men are responsible for most crime,
0:15:48 > 0:15:52maybe women shouldn't pay tax to fund the criminal justice system.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Maybe men should pick up the bill for their own misdemeanours.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57It's possible I love you.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- THERE'S a story.- Shall I stand for the Women's Equality Party?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Yes.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06But on the other side, there's also, in terms of changing
0:16:06 > 0:16:09things for boys, only 10% of men in this country take
0:16:09 > 0:16:11paternity leave who are entitled to it because they think it will
0:16:11 > 0:16:14impact adversely on their work, and it will.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16So let's have compulsory paternity leave
0:16:16 > 0:16:18so that men can spend time with their babies.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20There's lots of ways in which we could sort it out so that
0:16:20 > 0:16:23boys can have an easier time and, in fact, we can all have a better time.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Because you were one of the founders of the Women's Equality Party...
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- I am.- ..which is kind of what Grayson is saying -
0:16:28 > 0:16:30it's not about losing or gaining, it's just about a parity.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33It would be nice. Equality is better for everybody, that's it.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I mean, I've called the book The Descent Of Man, I'm not saying I'm
0:16:36 > 0:16:37making them right go down to the bottom,
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I'm saying, "Look, just come down, level."
0:16:39 > 0:16:41You want to be careful, though, Graham,
0:16:41 > 0:16:44there'll be women chat-show hosts and then where will we be?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Why I oughtta!
0:16:47 > 0:16:50This is a terrible idea! Why am I promoting this book?
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Talking of women chat-show hosts,
0:16:54 > 0:16:57there is now a female panel-show host.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59- I know!- I know!
0:16:59 > 0:17:00CHEERING
0:17:03 > 0:17:05I mean, you're not the first but you're one of the first.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07I'm the first in this kind of mainstream show, yes.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Isn't that cr...? Because there's no heavy lifting.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Well, yeah, I was surprised.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Here's the thing I didn't know when you're the host of one of
0:17:15 > 0:17:18those big shows, they tell you the answers beforehand.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20So it's not that difficult. And those cards you're holding,
0:17:20 > 0:17:22they're not as heavy as I was led to believe.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27It's been OK. I've loved it, I've absolutely loved it.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31OK, so the thing about QI is, because you've done it,
0:17:31 > 0:17:35Carrie, I've done it, in the moment you learn amazing things.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38You think, "I'll never forget that." By the next day it's gone.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40But I bet you remember things.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43I'm afraid I don't have one of those retentive minds. So we just
0:17:43 > 0:17:46did the N series, there's a different letter of the alphabet each time.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50So we did "noises" and my favourite fact for Christmas...
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Did you ever have partridge? Have you had partridge?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55- It's a thing in the song, partridge in a pear tree.- I've heard of it.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57It comes from the Greek word perdesthai,
0:17:57 > 0:18:01and that means to break wind and
0:18:01 > 0:18:04so the word partridge is because of the noise they make as they
0:18:04 > 0:18:07take off in flight. It basically means fart, partridge.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I think that's terribly pleasing. The other one I know...
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Do you ever have that you think your house smells and you've got
0:18:14 > 0:18:16guests coming? And you think, "What am I going to do?
0:18:16 > 0:18:18"I can't really tell if it smells cos I live here."
0:18:18 > 0:18:20You can reset your nose, this is very cool.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23So what you need to do is you need to run up and down the stairs
0:18:23 > 0:18:26very quickly and that introduces more blood into...
0:18:26 > 0:18:29It widens the capillaries in your nose and you will be able to
0:18:29 > 0:18:32tell whether your house smells or not. You can reset your nose.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Oh, I hope you don't move next door to me.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38So, yeah, I love those things.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42The thing I learned when I did it, was that when you eat asparagus
0:18:42 > 0:18:48- and your pee stinks, apparently that doesn't happen for everyone.- No.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Oh, actually, no, I found out something else later - it does,
0:18:51 > 0:18:55it does, everybody's pee stinks but some people can't smell it.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- They need to reset their nose.- Yes.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- Run up and down the stairs. - What if they live in a bungalow?
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Yeah, maybe. If they live in a bungalow, it's hell.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05They've got to go outside at night and run round.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Come back in, "Oh, asparagus, yeah, awful."
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Actually, when you get to the P, Grayson has quite
0:19:11 > 0:19:13a good thing about the pink and blue.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Oh, because... Writing a book about masculinity,
0:19:16 > 0:19:19so I was thinking about the codes of gender and of course pink and
0:19:19 > 0:19:23blue being the most well-known, but pink was the boys colour up
0:19:23 > 0:19:27until fairly recently, because in the late 19th century they thought
0:19:27 > 0:19:32soldiers wore red, so maybe pink was like a junior version of red.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36And they don't think it was until Mamie Eisenhower wore her pink gown
0:19:36 > 0:19:40at her husband's inauguration in 1946, I think,
0:19:40 > 0:19:43that was when then... "Pink is definitely a girl's colour."
0:19:43 > 0:19:46And it wasn't until the '60s that it got really set in stone,
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- or set in pink plastic.- Yeah.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52I used it as an illustration of the way that gender,
0:19:52 > 0:19:54a lot of the behaviours that we think of as fixed,
0:19:54 > 0:19:58are incredibly fluid and changing all the time.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01And men and women may be, in a century's time, doing
0:20:01 > 0:20:02completely different things.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06We'll all be dead. Erm... Now...
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Here's hoping.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10It's so cheerful suddenly.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Now, we're going to see a clip, this is Sandi in action in her new job.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Who are Spoon Licker, Doorway Sniffer,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Sausage Swiper and Meat Hook?
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- Yes, Josh. - Is that how you refer to us four?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28APPLAUSE
0:20:32 > 0:20:35And if so, name names.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37If you were to have to describe us, Sandi,
0:20:37 > 0:20:40which one of us would be the Sausage Swiper?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44APPLAUSE
0:20:48 > 0:20:50I was being so careful.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51CHEERING
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Very good.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58OK, everyone, it is time for my next guest.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Last year she won the Great British Bake Off and the hearts of
0:21:01 > 0:21:04a nation. Now she's back with her first cookbook.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Please welcome Nadiya Hussain.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13There she is. Hello. Hi. Lovely to see you. Hi. Come in.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17- This is Carrie. - Hi, nice to meet you.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22Grayson. Sandi. If you just shuffle down slightly, there we go.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24And you perch there, Nadiya.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- How are you?- Can we take a moment to admire Grayson's shoes, please?
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Yes, Grayson's shoes are amazing, I meant to mention them earlier.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34I have a lovely lady called Natacha Marro who makes them for me.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Her name's Marro?
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- Yeah, she's French.- Oh, I see.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41FRENCH ACCENT: Marro, Marro, it's a shoe.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43How are you, my dear?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46I'm good, it's good... It's nice to be on a couch where I'm not the shortest.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- That's good.- Yeah, three short ladies today.- Yeah.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56Now, Nadiya, so, Bake Off, winning Bake Off, I think...
0:21:56 > 0:21:58You are everyone's favourite winner.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- That final was just so emotional and lovely.- Yeah.
0:22:01 > 0:22:06- Are you recognised everywhere you go now?- Yes. Yes.- Everywhere?
0:22:06 > 0:22:08It's not a bad thing.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10You know, people are lovely, people are so nice. Some not so nice,
0:22:10 > 0:22:12but mostly nice.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13- Um... And... - LAUGHTER
0:22:13 > 0:22:18But, like... Yeah, mostly nice. But I recently went...
0:22:18 > 0:22:22And I'm not shy, we've all got to do it. I went for my smear test...
0:22:22 > 0:22:25All been there. LAUGHTER
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Yes, yes. And, as you do.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31And it's that god-awful fear where you think,
0:22:31 > 0:22:33"Oh, I really don't want to go. I just want to get this over with.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36"I've shaved my legs. Let's do this, come on."
0:22:36 > 0:22:38And then you turn up and I just thought,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41"Please don't recognise me, please don't recognise me.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44"I hope she doesn't recognise me. Just go in, get it done, get out."
0:22:44 > 0:22:48- There I was, speculum... - LAUGHTER
0:22:48 > 0:22:52And she said, "So, is Paul Hollywood really that good-looking?"
0:22:52 > 0:22:53LAUGHTER
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- That's the way to get you to relax! - LAUGHTER
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Comes at you with the Eiffel Tower.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07APPLAUSE
0:23:07 > 0:23:11I wonder what made her think of him.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13The beard?
0:23:13 > 0:23:14LAUGHTER
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- Too much?- Maybe!
0:23:19 > 0:23:23- She's in the room! - Sorry.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25But I have to say, the thing that we all...
0:23:25 > 0:23:29And when she cried, when Mary Berry tried,
0:23:29 > 0:23:32and then you made your speech in the final, it was so lovely.
0:23:32 > 0:23:33And I wonder in that speech,
0:23:33 > 0:23:35which was so inspiring and sort of empowering,
0:23:35 > 0:23:38was it something specific in your life that you were talking about?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Or was it just a kind of general thing?
0:23:40 > 0:23:41I definitely didn't rehearse it.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Lots of people ask me this, "Did you rehearse it?"
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- Because it seemed written, it was so lovely.- No, I stood there.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49I was probably an editor's nightmare.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I was stood there for about half an hour crying.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54"Are you going to say anything now?" Nope, nope.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56And I just stood there and I cried.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58And it's really weird because I can't actually remember any of it.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I don't actually remember the moment I won.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02All I remember is looking down at my feet and thinking,
0:24:02 > 0:24:05"These shoes need to go in the washing machine as soon as I get home."
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Because they were covered in icing sugar.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08So that was the only thought I had.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10But I didn't rehearse... I didn't think I'd get the...
0:24:10 > 0:24:12I didn't think I was going to win.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15So much so, I handed the trophy back to Paul and said,
0:24:15 > 0:24:17- "Are you sure you don't want to give it to the other two?"- Awww!
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Because I genuinely didn't think it was...
0:24:20 > 0:24:23I mean, now, if they came for it now, they're not getting it.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25- LAUGHTER - They're not getting it now. No, no, no.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27I met you shortly after you'd won, in fact it
0:24:27 > 0:24:30was the first time I met you, and fame does funny things to people.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34You have transitioned into the most fantastic, powerful
0:24:34 > 0:24:38and talented role model for women, and it's really wonderful to see.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Yeah! CHEERING AND WHOOPING
0:24:43 > 0:24:47- And you're getting married. - Yeah! Again!
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- But in this country this time.- Yes.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52I've been married before. I am married, um...
0:24:52 > 0:24:54- LAUGHTER - Have three children.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57And we had the Islamic marriage in this country.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00And then we went out to Bangladesh and had the ceremony out there.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Not because we wanted the hot weather or the beaches.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08My father-in-law and my dad concocted this plan that it would be
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- cheaper to go out there. - Fair enough!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12- I suppose they were paying for it, so...- Very sensible.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13But I knew nobody.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17I had no family, just my mum and my dad and my husband,
0:25:17 > 0:25:21- who I'd only seen once.- Wow.- So it was the second time I'd seen him.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22So I was like,
0:25:22 > 0:25:27"Yeah, he's good-looking but that's a whole lot of lifetime."
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- LAUGHTER - He is all right now, I quite like him. That's why...
0:25:29 > 0:25:32- LAUGHTER - That's why I want to get married,
0:25:32 > 0:25:35because I'll actually mean it this time.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Like, last time it was a bit like, "OK, let's do this!"
0:25:38 > 0:25:40But it's interesting, because I've read in interviews you
0:25:40 > 0:25:41talking about arranged marriage,
0:25:41 > 0:25:45and the more I read you talking about it, the more sensible it seems.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48But did you kind of think the chances are kind of the same?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50- Well, yeah... - LAUGHTER
0:25:50 > 0:25:54My wife always says that love at first sight is projection at first sight.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57It's just that they remind you of someone else you love already,
0:25:57 > 0:25:59usually one of your parents.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02I mean, there's no such thing as love at first sight.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06- How could you love someone that you'd never met before?- No.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07When I met my wife,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10we shook hands and I swear it was like being hit by lightning.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13And it still feels like that and it's all those years later.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16- ALL: Awwwww! - So I'm afraid I disagree.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18You can write all the psychology books you like,
0:26:18 > 0:26:20you can't change how you feel when you meet somebody.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23My husband had lovely long hair and a big arse and I was like,
0:26:23 > 0:26:25"That's nice, that'll do me."
0:26:25 > 0:26:26LAUGHTER
0:26:26 > 0:26:29I think if you meet someone and you kind of like them,
0:26:29 > 0:26:32you might as well marry them and then just see how it goes.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35- But there are issues with that because then you're stuck.- Yeah.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- But they're in the ballpark and then you grow together.- Yeah!
0:26:38 > 0:26:42You want someone in the ballpark, you don't want someone you completely hate.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44There might be a few corners that need knocking off,
0:26:44 > 0:26:48but that's what a relationship is about - changing each other.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50LAUGHTER
0:26:50 > 0:26:52- Not the last bit.- I think it is.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56You've got to change each other a little bit, otherwise there's no blending, is there?
0:26:56 > 0:26:58There's no relationship you share.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01But it's interesting about the whole arranged marriage thing,
0:27:01 > 0:27:03because, culturally, I had problems with it
0:27:03 > 0:27:06until I had three grown-up children and now I'm totally ready for it. Totally ready for it.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08You want an arranged marriage for them?
0:27:08 > 0:27:13Yeah, I'll sort it for them, seriously. I know way better than they do.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17See, having done it, I cannot wait for them to go to uni,
0:27:17 > 0:27:18leave the house.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21I'm going to sell up, go on a cruise, convertible,
0:27:21 > 0:27:23around the world. You know, do your thing.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26But having done it, it's not something I'd do for my kids.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28- No?- Who can be arsed? I really can't.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30LAUGHTER
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- I can't be bothered! - "Find your own husband!"- Yeah!
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Everyone else is doing it!
0:27:35 > 0:27:39- Send them to uni and move house. Don't tell them. - LAUGHTER
0:27:39 > 0:27:44My father was a short Jewish singer and so I married
0:27:44 > 0:27:48- a short Jewish singer. I did sort of do the...- The daddy thing.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50And then I went, "Well, that didn't work,
0:27:50 > 0:27:53"so now I'd better go in a whole other direction."
0:27:53 > 0:27:55That didn't work either - he left me for a man.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59And so I thought, "I'm not going to do this any more."
0:27:59 > 0:28:03Except tonight I'd like to announce that I am going to accept
0:28:03 > 0:28:05applications for...
0:28:05 > 0:28:07LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:28:07 > 0:28:12- That's a reality show right there.- I'm going to pitch it!
0:28:12 > 0:28:15APPLAUSE
0:28:17 > 0:28:21And the book... The book is Nadiya's Kitchen, your new cookbook.
0:28:21 > 0:28:26And it's such a great reminder of kind of what modern Britain is.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30That it's a really inclusive country and there's recipes from all over the world.
0:28:30 > 0:28:34Yeah, it's just a mixture of all the things that I like to cook at home.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38And being part of a Bangladeshi family, it's very Continental,
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Bangladeshi, British, baking...
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Did you have pressure on you to make it all cakes because of the
0:28:43 > 0:28:45- Bake Off thing, or not? - I don't know.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47I think there's a slight pressure that because I came
0:28:47 > 0:28:51off Bake Off that it should all be cakes, but I don't do cakes
0:28:51 > 0:28:56- all the time.- And people who've been doing this for years...
0:28:56 > 0:28:59No, no stop it!
0:28:59 > 0:29:03People who've been doing this for years, they've got teams of domestic
0:29:03 > 0:29:07science people at the back going, "That doesn't work, this works."
0:29:07 > 0:29:09So starting out, how do you do this?
0:29:09 > 0:29:13Are these just recipes you know absolutely solidly work?
0:29:13 > 0:29:16It's just a lot of cake, a lot of flour, a lot of sugar.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20When you're making something... Like, for me, I didn't have a team.
0:29:20 > 0:29:24It was me, my rental kitchen that I was in at the time,
0:29:24 > 0:29:27and it was the kids would come home from school and I'm like,
0:29:27 > 0:29:29"Right, guys, you're having squid,
0:29:29 > 0:29:33"you're having cake and you're having tiramisu for dinner." And that...
0:29:33 > 0:29:38It was a mixture of about three months of just giving them all
0:29:38 > 0:29:40sorts of food. And they loved it.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43So when we went back to a normal kind of set-up,
0:29:43 > 0:29:46where they had breakfast, lunch and dinner and had normal things,
0:29:46 > 0:29:49they were like, "So you're not writing any more recipes?"
0:29:50 > 0:29:53Please tell me that sometimes you defrost for the children.
0:29:53 > 0:29:57Please tell me that occasionally there's a fish finger or something, so I don't feel so bad.
0:29:57 > 0:29:58LAUGHTER
0:29:58 > 0:30:02- There's a fish finger butty in that.- There we go! Result!
0:30:02 > 0:30:05It doesn't involve defrosting, though, Sandy.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07I need to tell you - a real fish died.
0:30:07 > 0:30:08LAUGHTER
0:30:10 > 0:30:11So...
0:30:13 > 0:30:16Bake Off - it opened all these doors for you and all sorts of
0:30:16 > 0:30:17honours and things.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20But one of the biggest honours must have been when you got to
0:30:20 > 0:30:23bake the Queen's birthday cake.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26- Yeah.- There you are. And...
0:30:26 > 0:30:31- You didn't talk to the Queen for long, apparently? No.- No.
0:30:31 > 0:30:33Sorry, are you laughing at what I'm laughing at?
0:30:33 > 0:30:37I'm laughing at that lady mayoress who looks like she's about to have the whole thing.
0:30:37 > 0:30:38LAUGHTER
0:30:38 > 0:30:40The Queen will turn back and she'll go,
0:30:40 > 0:30:44"Oh, sorry, I don't know what came over me!"
0:30:44 > 0:30:48It did disappear very quickly. So I don't know, it could have happened.
0:30:48 > 0:30:49Um... No, well...
0:30:49 > 0:30:53If you're watching, Lady Mayoress, I know you didn't eat the whole thing.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56But you wanted to. LAUGHTER
0:30:58 > 0:31:01Prince Philip, I didn't know he was there,
0:31:01 > 0:31:04and he's the one person that I met who made me the most nervous.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06In fairness, yes.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09My dad now introduces me as, "This is the daughter that made the
0:31:09 > 0:31:12"cake for the Queen." I don't even have a name any more.
0:31:12 > 0:31:17But I didn't know Prince Philip was there. So he's sauntered around.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19I'm trying to talk, muffling all my words,
0:31:19 > 0:31:21and then he comes up and he says...
0:31:21 > 0:31:23And the Queen then introduces me to Prince Philip.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25I was like, "Get in!"
0:31:25 > 0:31:28You know you've made it when she introduces you to somebody else.
0:31:28 > 0:31:31"This is the young lady who won the baking competition."
0:31:31 > 0:31:33And at this point I was on cloud nine.
0:31:33 > 0:31:37And he comes up and says, "Yes, dear, I know who she is, but what flavour is the cake?"
0:31:37 > 0:31:39LAUGHTER
0:31:39 > 0:31:40Could not care less.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42APPLAUSE
0:31:43 > 0:31:46Carrie, you've met a lot of... I know you've met royalty,
0:31:46 > 0:31:48because I was with you when you met one of them.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50- Which one...? - LAUGHTER
0:31:50 > 0:31:56Yes, I have met, um... the Prince, who I... But no, I...
0:31:56 > 0:31:59Prince Harry we met, and then back in the Star Wars days...
0:31:59 > 0:32:02And I said, "I have a daughter," and felt like an idiot.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05As you do.
0:32:05 > 0:32:09No, but in the olden days, we'd done Empire Strikes Back,
0:32:09 > 0:32:13and the royal opening was for Princess Margaret,
0:32:13 > 0:32:16and we were waiting for her to come down the line,
0:32:16 > 0:32:20and I sort of mentioned to Alec Guinness and Harrison and
0:32:20 > 0:32:24Mark that my father had slept with Princess Margaret.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26LAUGHTER
0:32:30 > 0:32:33And... Caused a bit of a kerfuffle.
0:32:33 > 0:32:38And then, um, I arrived at the party afterwards,
0:32:38 > 0:32:43after Harrison had gotten there, and he came up to me and he said,
0:32:43 > 0:32:46"Well, clearly your father will sleep with anybody."
0:32:46 > 0:32:48LAUGHTER
0:32:48 > 0:32:52He meant it to be funny because she was very attractive-looking.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54But she did think Empire was very loud.
0:32:54 > 0:32:58The reviews are in - "Loud."
0:32:58 > 0:33:01Because, Grayson, you've met the Queen a few times now.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03Yeah, I have, yeah. Um...
0:33:03 > 0:33:05Yeah, what I like about the whole sort of
0:33:05 > 0:33:09royal Buckingham Palace thing is they're not fazed by anything.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12You know, when I went to collect my gong in a dress,
0:33:12 > 0:33:14they didn't even blink.
0:33:14 > 0:33:18When I pulled up in my car to go to a party there once, a policeman...
0:33:18 > 0:33:22I wind down my window and he said, "Madam..." He knew who I was.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24He said, "Madam, could you open the bonnet, please?"
0:33:24 > 0:33:27And I had a new car and I said, "I don't know how to work it."
0:33:27 > 0:33:29And he sort of leaned across and looked at my wife
0:33:29 > 0:33:32and goes, "Typical woman!"
0:33:32 > 0:33:34LAUGHTER
0:33:35 > 0:33:37I just like the way they not fazed.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40I think that's very elegant in a way. That's proper posh.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42You've mixed with the... is it the Queen of Denmark?
0:33:42 > 0:33:45Oh, I have always behaved badly at the wrong moment,
0:33:45 > 0:33:47and you talk about Prince Philip wandering around the room?
0:33:47 > 0:33:51So I was at a reception to celebrate the 200th birthday of
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Hans Christian Andersen in Denmark, and we love marzipan, and we
0:33:54 > 0:33:58were invited to a buffet where the whole buffet was made of marzipan.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00I think you can go overboard with marzipan, myself.
0:34:00 > 0:34:03So there was every kind of food you could imagine but all made
0:34:03 > 0:34:07of marzipan. So I thought this was hilarious. So I'm standing...
0:34:07 > 0:34:09My friend, Helena Kennedy, wonderful human rights lawyer, is taking
0:34:09 > 0:34:14a photograph of me and I'm pointing to the buffet and she's going...
0:34:14 > 0:34:16And behind me was the Queen of Denmark,
0:34:16 > 0:34:19who is phenomenally tall, just looking down like a...
0:34:19 > 0:34:20LAUGHTER
0:34:20 > 0:34:23There was a photograph of what looks like the Queen caught in the wild,
0:34:23 > 0:34:24like a giraffe looking down...
0:34:24 > 0:34:27over the top of my head.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29I think I made a pot for that anniversary as well,
0:34:29 > 0:34:31because I was in a show about Hans Christian Andersen.
0:34:31 > 0:34:35They gave us his biography to read, and he used to put
0:34:35 > 0:34:39a little cross in his diary every time he had a wank.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41LAUGHTER
0:34:41 > 0:34:45Trying to link up a few threads for you here.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47That's the next series of QI right there!
0:34:47 > 0:34:49LAUGHTER
0:34:49 > 0:34:54You wonder how fairytales get written? Well...
0:34:54 > 0:34:55Gay Hans.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58And it all ended happily ever after.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01Finally, it's time for music.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04After an 11-year break, this boyband is back and better than ever,
0:35:04 > 0:35:08and performing On What You're On, it's Busted, everybody!
0:35:08 > 0:35:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:35:21 > 0:35:25# Wanna be on what you're on Wanna be on what you're on
0:35:25 > 0:35:29# Wanna be on what you're on
0:35:29 > 0:35:31# She's got a wild heart
0:35:31 > 0:35:35# Born to run, born to come and just save my soul
0:35:35 > 0:35:38# I never thought it was worth saving
0:35:38 > 0:35:42# She tapped into something and I wish I could feel it
0:35:42 > 0:35:47# But I don't know what it is and I can't quite believe it
0:35:47 > 0:35:51# Always listen, always listen, always listen to the same song
0:35:51 > 0:35:55# I wanna know, I wanna know, wanna know what you're on
0:35:55 > 0:35:59# I wanna be on what you're on
0:35:59 > 0:36:03# I wanna be gone like you're gone
0:36:03 > 0:36:08# I wanna be on what you're on
0:36:08 > 0:36:13# I wanna listen, wanna listen, wanna listen to the same song
0:36:13 > 0:36:18# Wanna be on what you're on Wanna be on what you're on
0:36:18 > 0:36:21# Wanna be on what you're on
0:36:21 > 0:36:23# She has a kind heart
0:36:23 > 0:36:27# Kind enough to take the time to come save my soul
0:36:27 > 0:36:30# I'm so over misbehaving
0:36:30 > 0:36:34# She's optimistic 'bout the future of her planet
0:36:34 > 0:36:37# And the smile that's on her lips,
0:36:37 > 0:36:39# Oh, it must be the Xanax
0:36:39 > 0:36:43# Always listen, always listen, always listen to the same song
0:36:43 > 0:36:47# I wanna know, I wanna know, wanna know what you're on
0:36:47 > 0:36:51# I wanna be on what you're on
0:36:51 > 0:36:55# I wanna be gone like you're gone
0:36:55 > 0:37:00# I wanna be on what you're on
0:37:00 > 0:37:05# I wanna listen, wanna listen, wanna listen to the same song
0:37:05 > 0:37:08# Wanna be on what you're on
0:37:08 > 0:37:12# Wanna be on what you're on
0:37:12 > 0:37:13# Wanna be on what you're on
0:37:14 > 0:37:18# Yeah, we're standin' on the same cloud
0:37:18 > 0:37:22# And we're never comin' down
0:37:22 > 0:37:26# Yeah, we're standin' on the same cloud
0:37:26 > 0:37:32# No, we're never, no, we're never, ever comin' down
0:37:48 > 0:37:52# I wanna be on what you're on
0:37:52 > 0:37:56# I wanna be gone like you're gone
0:37:56 > 0:38:01# I wanna be on what you're on
0:38:01 > 0:38:06# I wanna listen, wanna listen, wanna listen to the same song
0:38:06 > 0:38:09# Wanna be on what you're on
0:38:09 > 0:38:11# Wanna be on what you're on
0:38:11 > 0:38:14# Wanna be on what you're on... #
0:38:16 > 0:38:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:19 > 0:38:24Thank you! Thank you.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26Busted, everybody!
0:38:26 > 0:38:29Come on over! Drop your guitars.
0:38:29 > 0:38:34There you go. Hello, lovely to see you! Lovely to see you.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37Lovely to see you. Sit down.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Sit down, everybody.
0:38:39 > 0:38:44There you go. All right, all right.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Yep, yep, we're not boarding a plane,
0:38:46 > 0:38:50you don't have to greet everybody. Can you fit in there?
0:38:50 > 0:38:52- Just about.- Yeah, you're grand.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54- You're grand, you're grand! - One cheek is on.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57LAUGHTER That's all you need.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59- It's similar down the other end, so...- Yes, it is.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01A quarter of a cheek.
0:39:01 > 0:39:05That is from the new album Night Driver, which is out now.
0:39:05 > 0:39:09You've come back, but the way sometimes bands come
0:39:09 > 0:39:11back and it sounds exactly the same, it doesn't.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14It sounds like you've been listening to things while you've been away.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16- Yeah.- Yeah... - LAUGHTER
0:39:16 > 0:39:18I think what's crazy is,
0:39:18 > 0:39:21Busted broke up for musical differences, so to come back
0:39:21 > 0:39:25together and do the same old shit we broke up because of...
0:39:25 > 0:39:28would be even stranger than coming out with a new sound, I think.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30I think referring to it as "same old shit" is
0:39:30 > 0:39:32a bit confrontational...
0:39:32 > 0:39:33LAUGHTER
0:39:33 > 0:39:35INDISTINCT
0:39:35 > 0:39:39I'll tell you, somebody on the couch is very happy you're here.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41- Grayson Perry.- Yes.
0:39:41 > 0:39:46- A Busted track was one of my Desert Island Discs.- I heard about this.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50Yeah, because when I was up for the Turner Prize, my daughter was
0:39:50 > 0:39:55a big fan, and when I put the car stereo on, by chance it was Loser Kid.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58I thought, that sums up my whole situation.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01You know, I used to be the loser kid and now I'm not.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04And that became my anthem during the whole run-up to the Turner Prize.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07And it came true, of course, because I wasn't the loser kid,
0:40:07 > 0:40:09so I had it as my Desert Island Disc.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13- So I've got very fond memories of the track.- Secretly we're the reason you on the Turner prize.- Yes!
0:40:13 > 0:40:15LAUGHTER
0:40:15 > 0:40:20Now, Carrie Fisher, Busted have brought a picture of themselves.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23Do you see any one you recognise in this picture?
0:40:23 > 0:40:25Yes.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28- My brother. My twin. - Yes, it's Mark Hamill!
0:40:29 > 0:40:32- Where did you meet Mark Hamill? - At the airport.
0:40:33 > 0:40:39We were going through the airport and I got a text from Matt going,
0:40:39 > 0:40:43"Guys, guys, Luke Skywalker is on our plane."
0:40:43 > 0:40:45Carrie, can we get one with you?
0:40:45 > 0:40:48Yes, then you could have one more to get, but good luck!
0:40:48 > 0:40:50LAUGHTER
0:40:50 > 0:40:52This is actually way cooler because I kind of...
0:40:52 > 0:40:58I kind of remember being young and that Jabba The Hutt scene being
0:40:58 > 0:40:59a very prominent moment in my youth...
0:40:59 > 0:41:02LAUGHTER
0:41:03 > 0:41:05Did you put a little cross in your diary?
0:41:05 > 0:41:08- Yeah, yeah! - LAUGHTER
0:41:08 > 0:41:10APPLAUSE
0:41:14 > 0:41:19All right. I can only apologise, Miss Fisher, I can only apologise.
0:41:19 > 0:41:20So listen, that is nearly it.
0:41:20 > 0:41:24Before we go, just time for a visit to the Big Red Chair. Who's there?
0:41:24 > 0:41:28- Hello, what's your name?- Mark.- Mark, lovely. Where are you from, Mark?
0:41:28 > 0:41:31- Auckland, New Zealand.- New Zealand! These are always good stories!
0:41:31 > 0:41:33CHEERING
0:41:33 > 0:41:36- Mark from New Zealand. Are you travelling or living?- Bit of both.
0:41:36 > 0:41:39OK, great, good to hear it. I'll write that down.
0:41:39 > 0:41:40LAUGHTER
0:41:40 > 0:41:43- Are you working here, Mark? - Yes, I am.
0:41:43 > 0:41:44LAUGHTER
0:41:47 > 0:41:50- Doing...?- Landscaping.- Landscaping!
0:41:50 > 0:41:53So if you want your garden tidied up, you know who to call.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55Thank you very much, Mark. I will.
0:41:55 > 0:41:57I won't know your number but I'll know who I should be calling.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59- You can get it later.- Oh, hello!
0:41:59 > 0:42:00LAUGHTER
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Mm-hm!
0:42:02 > 0:42:03Um... LAUGHTER
0:42:05 > 0:42:06APPLAUSE
0:42:08 > 0:42:10Mark, off you go with your story.
0:42:10 > 0:42:11I'm sure it's going to be marvellous.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14So, recently, whilst travelling around Europe on Busabout,
0:42:14 > 0:42:17I doubled up on my morning coffee and it was
0:42:17 > 0:42:19a long stretch until the next service stop.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21And I just was, yeah, I really needed a shit.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25I was just absolutely in tatters. So...
0:42:25 > 0:42:28LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:42:28 > 0:42:31No! No.
0:42:31 > 0:42:33LAUGHTER
0:42:33 > 0:42:37Everybody in the couch is now going, "No! No! Stop that."
0:42:37 > 0:42:40- Let's have one more quick. Hello, what's your name, sir?- Nick.
0:42:40 > 0:42:44Nick, the hopes of a nation rest on your shoulders.
0:42:44 > 0:42:45Nick, off you go with your story.
0:42:45 > 0:42:49So, I was in India taking a local flights from Srinigar and Kashmir
0:42:49 > 0:42:51down to Delhi.
0:42:51 > 0:42:56Very high security route and you're not allowed any hand luggage at all.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59I had a bit of a dodgy tummy at the time and I was carrying with
0:42:59 > 0:43:02me an emergency loo roll at all times.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05Got to security and it was confiscated.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09There was nothing I could do about it, just had to hope and pray.
0:43:09 > 0:43:10Everything was fine.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12I seemed to be getting away with it,
0:43:12 > 0:43:15and I got called out to walk across the tarmac to go out to the
0:43:15 > 0:43:18aeroplane, and there standing at the steps,
0:43:18 > 0:43:19at the bottom of the steps,
0:43:19 > 0:43:24was a uniformed security guard with a red velvet cushion with gold
0:43:24 > 0:43:30braid, and on it was my loo roll which had been completely unravelled
0:43:30 > 0:43:34and very carefully rolled back up again. And on it it just
0:43:34 > 0:43:38had a very smart hand-written label that just said, "Safe".
0:43:38 > 0:43:40LAUGHTER Awww!
0:43:40 > 0:43:43That's quite a good story! APPLAUSE
0:43:43 > 0:43:45We got there in the end!
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Well done, everyone.
0:43:47 > 0:43:51If you want to have a go in the Big Red Chair go to this very address.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53And that is it for tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Busted!
0:43:53 > 0:43:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:55 > 0:43:58Nadiya Hussein! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:58 > 0:44:01Sandi Toksvig! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:44:01 > 0:44:04Grayson Perry! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:44:04 > 0:44:05And Carrie Fisher!
0:44:05 > 0:44:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:44:07 > 0:44:11Join me next week with music from Jack Savoretti,
0:44:11 > 0:44:13Sir Michael Parkinson, comedian Dawn French,
0:44:13 > 0:44:16new face of Star Wars, Felicity Jones,
0:44:16 > 0:44:19Slum Dog Millionaire Dev Patel and Oscar winner Nicole Kidman.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody goodbye!
0:44:22 > 0:44:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE