Episode 9

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Hello, I'm Jennifer Lawrence. - And I'm Chris Pratt.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07- BOTH:- Welcome to the Graham Norton Show!

0:00:07 > 0:00:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:11 > 0:00:15This programme contains strong language.

0:00:24 > 0:00:29Oh! Oh! Ha-ha! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:29 > 0:00:33Oh! Thank you very much!

0:00:33 > 0:00:37Thank you, thank you. Oh, too kind!

0:00:37 > 0:00:39Oh, thank you. Whoop, whoop! Whoop, whoop!

0:00:39 > 0:00:43Hello, good evening and welcome to the show.

0:00:43 > 0:00:47We've got a great line-up for you tonight. Oh, I tell you, we have.

0:00:47 > 0:00:50Our sofa couldn't be any cooler if we left it out overnight.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Chilly, isn't it? Ooh! Cold snap - break a hip.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Now... It's been quite a week, hasn't it, ladies and gentlemen?

0:00:55 > 0:00:59Praise be, Honey G was voted off The X Factor,

0:00:59 > 0:01:00Ed Balls left Strictly.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Sanity has been restored, ladies and gentlemen.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06I say that - sanity has been restored(!)

0:01:06 > 0:01:09Yeah, have you seen what's been happening at Ukip central?

0:01:09 > 0:01:15Woohoo! There they are. Old and new together. Remind you of anyone?

0:01:15 > 0:01:18LAUGHTER

0:01:18 > 0:01:21The good news is, at last Nigel Farage has left party politics

0:01:21 > 0:01:25and now, finally, he can go home and spend more time with his wife.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29Noooo!

0:01:29 > 0:01:31Listen, we've got another great line-up of guests for you tonight.

0:01:31 > 0:01:35Later, we'll be joined by rapper and music mogul, will.i.am, ladies and gentlemen!

0:01:35 > 0:01:37CHEERING

0:01:37 > 0:01:41Yes! And, we will have music from the stunning Emeli Sande!

0:01:41 > 0:01:44CHEERING

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Yeah! But let's get my first guests on.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49He went from Naked Chef to the most successful TV cook of all time,

0:01:49 > 0:01:51and, just in time for Christmas,

0:01:51 > 0:01:55he's back with his 19th cook book - it's Jamie Oliver, everybody!

0:01:55 > 0:01:57APPLAUSE

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Oh, oh, oh. Suited and booted. Hello. Sit down, sit down.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Jamie Oliver!

0:02:04 > 0:02:07From Guardians of the Galaxy, to Jurassic World,

0:02:07 > 0:02:10this Hollywood star is the go-to leading man of the moment.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Now, he's back in space in the sci-fi thriller Passengers -

0:02:13 > 0:02:16it's Chris Pratt, everybody!

0:02:16 > 0:02:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hey!

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Hello. You're very welcome, have a seat.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Sit beside Jamie. Do. Yeah, love him.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29And, starring alongside Chris,

0:02:29 > 0:02:31she's the Oscar-winning star of Silver Linings Playbook,

0:02:31 > 0:02:33American Hustle

0:02:33 > 0:02:36and the block-busting franchises X-Men and Hunger Games.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39It's always a pleasure to welcome, Jennifer Lawrence!

0:02:39 > 0:02:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Whoo! Whoo!

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Hello. I have done so much whooping already.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Have a seat, do!

0:02:50 > 0:02:53- I didn't notice that. - My seven foot tall shoes?

0:02:53 > 0:02:55- They are incredible.- Thank you.

0:02:55 > 0:02:59How weird that I didn't even notice those earlier. That's incredible.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01- It was very dark.- It WAS very dark.

0:03:01 > 0:03:05Just to check with our American friends, do you...you must know Jamie Oliver?

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Have you met Jamie Oliver before?

0:03:07 > 0:03:09It's the first time we've ever met, but, of course, I know who he is.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13- Yeah.- Yeah, good answer. LAUGHTER

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Now, I don't mean to depress Jamie, but, Chris Pratt,

0:03:15 > 0:03:18you've been less than kind about British cooking.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22- Well...- Chris, come on, man.- I...

0:03:22 > 0:03:26Look, I know that, in America, we're a real melting pot.

0:03:26 > 0:03:30We've got great Italian restaurants and great Japanese restaurants

0:03:30 > 0:03:31and like, Indian food,

0:03:31 > 0:03:33but there's not like, "Hey, let's go get British tonight!"

0:03:33 > 0:03:37Do you know what I mean? We don't have that.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40You guys are good at the drinking, which I love!

0:03:40 > 0:03:41Yeah, I'm with you there.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Your food is, basically, coat the stomach

0:03:44 > 0:03:46so the ale and the whisky and the scotch

0:03:46 > 0:03:48and all that stuff has a place to live.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50An Irish friend of mine, she calls dinner "soakage."

0:03:52 > 0:03:57- I cooked a whole meal and she went, "That was great soakage."- Exactly.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Essentially, it's potatoes five ways.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Yeah. Fish, fried fish and chips.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03I've got to be careful what I eat,

0:04:03 > 0:04:05- cos I have got fat guy genes. - So do I!

0:04:05 > 0:04:08- I have to replace food with alcohol. - Yeah!

0:04:08 > 0:04:10- You know what? - You balance that diet!

0:04:10 > 0:04:13- It's a depressing choice at times. - Let's have a little snack, shall we?

0:04:13 > 0:04:18- Come on.- Cheers, everyone! - Yes, yay! Cheers...- As you do.

0:04:18 > 0:04:19Here's to sensible calories.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22I get nervous that I'm going to say something

0:04:22 > 0:04:23and then I'm nervous

0:04:23 > 0:04:25and I'm like, "Ooh, I better drink." That doesn't help!

0:04:27 > 0:04:31Oh, boy, I hope I don't go on TV and say something silly.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:04:38 > 0:04:41The perfect recipe. Now, often on the show, ladies and gentlemen,

0:04:41 > 0:04:44we check people's yearbooks and things.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47And I have to say, tonight bodes well for a chat show.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48On a chat show, what do you want?

0:04:48 > 0:04:50Well, Jennifer Lawrence -

0:04:50 > 0:04:52voted, back in high school, "most talkative".

0:04:52 > 0:04:55- Whoo!- Two years in a row!

0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Oh!- Two consecutive years. - That's very impressive.

0:04:58 > 0:05:04- Yeah, it was hard to get.- Chris Pratt, he was voted "class clown".

0:05:04 > 0:05:06- Oh, my God!- Ideal!

0:05:08 > 0:05:11- You were so handsome! - We didn't have a yearbook in Essex.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Jamie Oliver didn't have a yearbook, but if they had, you might have got

0:05:14 > 0:05:17- "most likely to win Princess Leia lookalike competition".- Really? Why?

0:05:19 > 0:05:20Wow.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25- Is that your own hair? - Yup.- That's incredible!

0:05:25 > 0:05:29- Yeah, I know. I'm trying to grow it again.- Well, I wouldn't.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35- Did you have to set that?- Yep. - Yourself?- It was like...

0:05:35 > 0:05:38It was like a bouffant. Jeez. I thought I was cool, as well.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40You were cool. Trust me, you were cool.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42I know my brother looked exactly like that,

0:05:42 > 0:05:45- and he was the coolest guy. That was cool.- Thank you.

0:05:45 > 0:05:46And actually, here's the weird thing,

0:05:46 > 0:05:49cos in school, I mean, joking aside, school can't have been easy,

0:05:49 > 0:05:51because you're dyslexic, so that must have been...

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Yeah, I wasn't...I had a pretty...

0:05:53 > 0:05:55I wasn't very academic at school, let's put it that way.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57I was in what you would call...

0:05:57 > 0:05:59they called it "special needs" in those days,

0:05:59 > 0:06:00so I did five years of "special needs".

0:06:00 > 0:06:02I know. It wasn't the best for your confidence!

0:06:02 > 0:06:06But - but, just to fast forward, what an inspiring thing.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09So here is this guy, dyslexic in school.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bestselling non-fiction writer

0:06:13 > 0:06:17in this country of all time ever.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20EVER! CHEERING

0:06:21 > 0:06:25- I'm quite proud of that! - You should be really proud of that.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30Mrs Murphy, bless you.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34In fact, the only person who has outsold you at all is JK Rowling.

0:06:34 > 0:06:38Yes, but by quite a lot! There's a big gap.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41I did well, don't get me wrong, but, like, the next level!

0:06:41 > 0:06:44- But, apparently, you're reading books now?- Well...

0:06:44 > 0:06:47OK, this is going to make me...

0:06:47 > 0:06:51So I can read, but I really struggled with narrative books.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55I always fell asleep after 12, 13 pages.

0:06:55 > 0:06:59And then when I saw Jennifer in Hunger Games, I loved it so much,

0:06:59 > 0:07:01and you were amazing, I wanted to see the next show straightaway,

0:07:01 > 0:07:04but I couldn't be bothered to wait, so I got the book and I read it.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Oh, my God! - Which, for me, was a big deal.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09And anyone that's dyslexic will know how that feels.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12But...erm, so, yeah, and it was amazing to have a place,

0:07:12 > 0:07:15a quiet place, where I could kind of get into it.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18- Yeah!- But also, I've just started wearing glasses,

0:07:18 > 0:07:19so I realised I'm blind as well!

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Life just got better, basically!

0:07:23 > 0:07:25- The odds were stacked against you. - APPLAUSE

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Let's talk about our movie tonight -

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt together at last in Passengers.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33It's out on the 21st of December.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36Somehow, it seems like you should have been in a movie already.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Like, did you know each other before?- We'd never even met.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40- We'd never met. - That's so weird. Yeah.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Now, it's like I don't remember... - We just met six months ago

0:07:43 > 0:07:45and did a movie together. No, we never met.

0:07:45 > 0:07:48- I was going to go really sweet. You were? Yeah.- Go on, do it.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Nah, fuck it.- It's not too late.

0:07:53 > 0:07:57Awww! Awww! We had a great time.

0:07:57 > 0:08:02I, of course, knew her work and when I read the script it was...

0:08:02 > 0:08:06It really was the greatest script I'd ever read. I loved it so much.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10It's original. It's really complicated and interesting and,

0:08:10 > 0:08:13when I read it, they said, you know,

0:08:13 > 0:08:14I was instructed by my manager,

0:08:14 > 0:08:17who said, "Imagine Jennifer Lawrence as the lead."

0:08:17 > 0:08:21I was like, "Are you kidding me?" So I did and it just fit so well.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24I just thought, if this thing came together and she was in it,

0:08:24 > 0:08:26like, how awesome would that be?

0:08:26 > 0:08:28And, you know, she loved it as well,

0:08:28 > 0:08:32and so she did it and now we're best friends for life.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35- Now we're blood brothers. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:08:35 > 0:08:38Not only...

0:08:39 > 0:08:42It's one of those things, not only are you in this movie together,

0:08:42 > 0:08:45you're kind of the only people in it.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49- I know.- Almost. - For people who don't know,

0:08:49 > 0:08:51explain the premise, how this happens?

0:08:51 > 0:08:52Well, Chris is better at it than me,

0:08:52 > 0:08:54but you're making eye-contact with me.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56So, I'll say it.

0:08:56 > 0:09:01We are both passengers on a ship...

0:09:01 > 0:09:03That's not right.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05On a ship, a 120-year journey, we are in a hyper sleep,

0:09:05 > 0:09:07something goes wrong with the ship.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11I'm trying to just vision the studio note in my head.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Something goes wrong with the ship.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16We wake up and we're the only people awake on the ship for

0:09:16 > 0:09:20a very mysterious and bad reason.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22- Um...- There's 90 years left to go.

0:09:22 > 0:09:2490 years left to go, so we're basically going to just die

0:09:24 > 0:09:28on this ship, but then I wake up and I'm like, "Well, he's cute."

0:09:28 > 0:09:30- Every cloud!- Yeah...

0:09:33 > 0:09:35That's the movie. You're welcome, Sony.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40- Yeah, pretty much. - You can send me flowers later!

0:09:41 > 0:09:43- Stuff happens after that, though. - Yeah.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46We're stuck together on this ship and alone and we don't know,

0:09:46 > 0:09:49we're trying to unravel the mystery of why we woke up

0:09:49 > 0:09:51and through the course of doing so, we start to fall for one another.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55And then, uh, you know, that gets interrupted by, like,

0:09:55 > 0:09:58- the imminent collapse of this... - Robots!

0:09:58 > 0:10:00No, again, she keeps thinking

0:10:00 > 0:10:03that there's bad robots in the movie, and there aren't.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06- I don't think she read the script! - They're rising up!

0:10:06 > 0:10:10- There's some apes, it's really bad. - Yeah. A talking dog.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13Again, no, there's not. Yeah.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17Then all hell breaks loose and we have to, you know,

0:10:17 > 0:10:20have an awesome action movie.

0:10:20 > 0:10:21We've got a clip.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23This is after you've both woken up

0:10:23 > 0:10:26and you decide to finally go on a date.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30'You have a visitor.'

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Wow.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39You clean up pretty good yourself.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41You went shopping.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42I went shoplifting.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48You two look fine this evening.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51- We're on a date.- Very nice.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56It took you long enough to ask.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59- I was giving you space.- Oh.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02Space - the one thing I do not need more of.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Very good.

0:11:07 > 0:11:11- And...our own Michael Sheen.- Yes.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Was he there?

0:11:13 > 0:11:14Yeah!

0:11:14 > 0:11:18- You know what I mean?- Um... - You know how these things happen!

0:11:18 > 0:11:21Yeah, he skyped it in. He was there.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24He spent, you know, he spent a few weeks with us,

0:11:24 > 0:11:25and he plays Arthur,

0:11:25 > 0:11:30who is an android, and we're two people who are so in desperate

0:11:30 > 0:11:33need of inter-personal connection and, like, a human connection

0:11:33 > 0:11:36because we're essentially in this state of solitary confinement.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39So we are seeking that with him.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41There's some humour that comes from it.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44It's a little ominous and a little dark. I mean, he's fabulous.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46He's so great in the movie.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48As you were saying, there's lots of kind of elements to this movie.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51There's the romance, the action, the drama

0:11:51 > 0:11:53and all that kind of, you know, what you want

0:11:53 > 0:11:55- from a big science fiction movie. - Yeah.

0:11:55 > 0:12:00(But, I have to say. There was more sex in this film than I thought...)

0:12:00 > 0:12:02- LAUGHTER - Why are you talking like that?

0:12:02 > 0:12:05- More sex than you thought? - MORE sex than I thought. Yes.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Really? You didn't mention that bit.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11That's all they want to know about, right?

0:12:12 > 0:12:15- Oh, right.- Hi, Dad! - Chris Pratt offers up his butt.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18- He does, really.- Yeah! - More than once.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Yeah, you see me fully naked in this movie.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22- WHOOPING - Come for the fully naked,

0:12:22 > 0:12:24stay for the spaceship and shit.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26LAUGHTER

0:12:26 > 0:12:30Because you've talked on here, Jennifer, about when you

0:12:30 > 0:12:32prepare for more intimate scenes about, particularly, your breath.

0:12:32 > 0:12:36So, how did Chris fare in the breath control?

0:12:36 > 0:12:41Well, I said, whenever I had to kiss Josh and Liam for the Hunger Games,

0:12:41 > 0:12:42"Who cares?"

0:12:42 > 0:12:46You know, I'd eat, like, mustard and tuna, who cares?

0:12:46 > 0:12:49Then I went off and I did the American Hustle,

0:12:49 > 0:12:51and it was like Christian Bale, I was like, "Oh, damn!"

0:12:51 > 0:12:53And I was, like, really clean.

0:12:53 > 0:12:57And...mints, mints, mints. And with Pratt...

0:12:58 > 0:13:01- ..I ate mints.- Awww!

0:13:01 > 0:13:05- No big deal...- Did you see the suspense I built?- Yeah, I know!

0:13:05 > 0:13:09I was thinking mince as in mincemeat.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15You really shouldn't eat mincemeat.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Lovely. Mmm!- But for Chris, it was corned beef!

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Which I loved.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Actually, talking of sexy scenes, I don't know if you were aware,

0:13:23 > 0:13:27when Jamie started, he was called The Naked Chef.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Whoo! - Yes.- Yeah, yeah.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32One person remembers that! I know it's nearly 20 years.

0:13:32 > 0:13:35We were talking about that back there.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38- Because I don't think about that, it was about 20 years ago.- Yeah.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40- You never appeared naked. - No, technically, no.

0:13:40 > 0:13:41Why was it called the Naked...?

0:13:41 > 0:13:44- I'd be pissed...- It was all about stripping restaurant food

0:13:44 > 0:13:45down to its bare essentials.

0:13:45 > 0:13:52- Oh, come on!- And it was a phenomenon. No, it is was great.

0:13:52 > 0:13:56It was a moment when cooking was for girls and I was trying to

0:13:56 > 0:13:59teach the British boys that cooking got you girls.

0:13:59 > 0:14:03- And...- You did do some naked cooking in your own house, though?

0:14:03 > 0:14:07I've done that once, thank you very much for that.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09- For Valentine's Day.- Nice idea.

0:14:09 > 0:14:13- I made a meal...- Uh-huh. - Whole sea bass, stuffed with herbs,

0:14:13 > 0:14:16- a little red onion, in a bag... - A little bit of Jamie?

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- Yeah... - LAUGHTER

0:14:20 > 0:14:22A side of Oliver sauce?

0:14:25 > 0:14:29I'm just hearing my wife going, "Don't embarrass the teenagers."

0:14:29 > 0:14:34Don't embarrass them. So there was no sauce. But I did have a new oven.

0:14:34 > 0:14:39- And it was fan assisted. And... - LAUGHTER

0:14:39 > 0:14:41And I laid the table. I put Sade on...

0:14:41 > 0:14:43As if, you know, the full romance thing.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45And when I opened the convection oven...

0:14:45 > 0:14:49- Oh, by the way, I was naked... - OK.- ..with a pinny.

0:14:49 > 0:14:54When I opened the oven, a jet of hot steam attacked my penis,

0:14:54 > 0:14:58and the pain was SO incredible.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00I mean, honestly, have you ever burned...

0:15:00 > 0:15:02Burned my dick on a sea bass?

0:15:02 > 0:15:03LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:15:10 > 0:15:13- Tell him - yes!- Yes, I have!

0:15:13 > 0:15:14Seriously, bearing in mind

0:15:14 > 0:15:17it was supposed to be a night of romance,

0:15:17 > 0:15:19I genuinely ended up sitting just in

0:15:19 > 0:15:23- utter pain in a leather seat with... - SINGS:- Green Giant!

0:15:23 > 0:15:26..on my old fella. Really bad.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29So basically, the reason I'm happy to tell this story

0:15:29 > 0:15:32is because it's a public service announcement.

0:15:32 > 0:15:37- Yes.- Do not cook in the nude. - But the sea bass was delicious.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41It was pretty good. Thanks for bringing that up, by the way!

0:15:41 > 0:15:43And talking about getting naked, Chris Pratt,

0:15:43 > 0:15:46you apparently like getting naked, and at one point,

0:15:46 > 0:15:49you tried to turn that into your source of income?

0:15:49 > 0:15:54- What?!- Well, not...- How...? - Uh, you know...

0:15:54 > 0:15:57- I'm real happy that question wasn't for me.- Really?

0:15:57 > 0:16:03- Yeah, for a while I stripped for money.- Bless you, I love that.

0:16:03 > 0:16:08- Yeah.- No, you didn't!- Successfully?

0:16:08 > 0:16:13Well, I mean, how...? If, when you need 40 bucks and you get 40 bucks,

0:16:13 > 0:16:16I consider that success!

0:16:16 > 0:16:21I didn't do it like... It never got...like, un-innocent.

0:16:21 > 0:16:22You know what I mean?

0:16:22 > 0:16:25Like, I actually did it maybe three or four times,

0:16:25 > 0:16:29and then decided I was going to go and, like, audition

0:16:29 > 0:16:32at an actual nightclub, like a strip club for men.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35And I... With male strippers, you know.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38And I went and I did an audition, but when I was there,

0:16:38 > 0:16:40there was like a guy sleeping in his car,

0:16:40 > 0:16:43waiting for the club to open cos he was a dancer there,

0:16:43 > 0:16:45and I just felt this darkness that I was like,

0:16:45 > 0:16:46"This is about to turn,"

0:16:46 > 0:16:50this is, like, going from fun, funny story-telling thing

0:16:50 > 0:16:54that, you know, in 15 years I can tell on the Graham Norton Show

0:16:54 > 0:16:55to, you know, I could be that guy.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58- I should go do Guardians Of The Galaxy.- Yeah.- Yeah!

0:16:58 > 0:17:01Anyways, moved in with the guy in his car...

0:17:01 > 0:17:05We became roommates and he's now my manager!

0:17:05 > 0:17:07That's worked out well!

0:17:07 > 0:17:10APPLAUSE

0:17:10 > 0:17:11Oh, dear.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14Ladies and gentlemen, Christmas is coming,

0:17:14 > 0:17:17and one man knows what to do - it is Jamie Oliver,

0:17:17 > 0:17:20and it's his Christmas cookbook, everybody!

0:17:20 > 0:17:25CHEERING Yay! It's...

0:17:25 > 0:17:26It's in shops now.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29We often get, you know, cookbooks and things on the show.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33This, I was flicking through it yesterday thinking,

0:17:33 > 0:17:35"I'll find some funny bits to show."

0:17:35 > 0:17:39It's so good. It is just... This is your 19th book.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41You don't need to write a 20th. Everything is in this.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44It's like a Delia Smith. It is like a Bible.

0:17:44 > 0:17:48Well, it's a Christmas cookbook. It had to be classic, greatest hits.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51But it's not just Christmas. It's all...

0:17:51 > 0:17:53- It's parties, really. Dinner parties.- Dinner parties.

0:17:53 > 0:17:58- And if you have eight people, ten people, it's all in here.- Thank you.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Yeah, I'm chuffed with it, I've got to say.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02I mean, I like to normally be humble,

0:18:02 > 0:18:05- but it is probably... - LAUGHTER

0:18:05 > 0:18:08- It's probably the best book I've ever written.- Yeah.

0:18:08 > 0:18:12No, look, I think Christmas has got everything going for it.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15It's emotional, it's family, it's about bringing people together.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17It's that time of year when most people cook,

0:18:17 > 0:18:19even the people that don't cook,

0:18:19 > 0:18:22and, like, helping them get their plan of action together

0:18:22 > 0:18:24is what it's all tuned in for.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27And if you need any more convincing, ladies and gentlemen, page 106,

0:18:27 > 0:18:31an entire chapter begins called The Wonderful World Of Potatoes.

0:18:31 > 0:18:36- Yes! I had to convince my editor of that.- And they are delicious.

0:18:36 > 0:18:40No, they're ridiculous. And those roast potatoes are nuts.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Look at this, look at this! - What's that?

0:18:42 > 0:18:46- Go to the mash, go to the mash! - That's Champ pie!

0:18:46 > 0:18:49Yeah, that's a new creation. Forget the body, Chris, forget it!

0:18:49 > 0:18:53I'm getting that for Anna. She has a bunch of your books, by the way.

0:18:53 > 0:18:58- Really?- Yeah, you're naked on the cover.- I didn't know about that one.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00But that must be the bootleg variety.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Look, there's My Pommes Anna.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04- Ooh!- Oh!

0:19:04 > 0:19:07We're going to make that for Anna. Actually, she's going to make it.

0:19:07 > 0:19:08Yeah, she'll make it for Anna.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11She'll make it for me - or she'll make it for her, yeah!

0:19:11 > 0:19:12And the whole book is very sweet.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14- You dedicated it to your nan. - Yes, I did.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16- Your nan loved Christmas...- Yeah.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18..but Christmas didn't love her quite so much.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21Well, I dedicated it to her, and I thought,

0:19:21 > 0:19:24you say a few words when you dedicate it to your late nan,

0:19:24 > 0:19:30and, yeah, one of my earliest memories of Christmas was my nan

0:19:30 > 0:19:32enthusiastically reaching for some Brussels sprouts.

0:19:32 > 0:19:36And in Britain we have crackers. I know you don't know what they are.

0:19:36 > 0:19:38You pull them and they snap, and then you have a present and a joke

0:19:38 > 0:19:42and you put a hat on and it's very cheap, but it's nice.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45And as you lean over, my nan's hat caught fire to the candle,

0:19:45 > 0:19:49which by default caught fire to her hair-sprayed blue rinse,

0:19:49 > 0:19:52- and then she became a human candle. - LAUGHTER

0:19:53 > 0:19:57My memory was looking up and my dad was, like, beating her up,

0:19:57 > 0:19:59and I was like...

0:20:00 > 0:20:02And I thought, "That's wrong!"

0:20:02 > 0:20:05But I didn't realise he was putting her out.

0:20:05 > 0:20:09And when he'd finally, you know, put her out,

0:20:09 > 0:20:11we carried on eating our dinner

0:20:11 > 0:20:14and I thought, that's Christmas. That is Christmas.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17And it never necessarily goes the way you expect it,

0:20:17 > 0:20:20there is always stress there but, you know...

0:20:20 > 0:20:22You know what? It was a pleasure to write that book.

0:20:22 > 0:20:26The last two books were very tough. This one was a pleasure to write.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28OK, brilliant. And we've established, Chris,

0:20:28 > 0:20:32- so Anna does the cooking in your house.- Yeah, yeah.

0:20:32 > 0:20:33Anna pretty much does the cooking.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Jennifer Lawrence, do you cook?

0:20:35 > 0:20:37I do. Well, I mean, yeah...

0:20:37 > 0:20:41- Well, you do Christmas? - No. Oh, my God, no.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44I roasted a chicken recently and no-one got sick.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46LAUGHTER

0:20:46 > 0:20:51But I'm hardly the candidate for cooking for young children.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53LAUGHTER

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Who invited THEM?

0:20:56 > 0:21:00- I don't know...- "It's Christmas. Look, there's small people!"

0:21:00 > 0:21:02So where will you be for Christmas?

0:21:02 > 0:21:05- I'll be in Kentucky.- OK.- I'll be in a swamp.- Who will do the cooking?

0:21:05 > 0:21:08My mom does the cooking.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10I help, you know, I talk to her while I drink wine...

0:21:10 > 0:21:13LAUGHTER

0:21:13 > 0:21:16Chain-smoke out the window. "That looks miserable!"

0:21:18 > 0:21:21Here's the thing, because, Chris, you worked in restaurants,

0:21:21 > 0:21:23- didn't you?- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25So you worked in Hawaii but then you worked in LA, as well.

0:21:25 > 0:21:29- Yes, I worked at a restaurant in Beverly Hills.- So, posh?

0:21:29 > 0:21:31It was, it tried to be...

0:21:31 > 0:21:35Look, it was a terrible restaurant and... It was.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38It was just awful and I was a...

0:21:38 > 0:21:43a major contributing factor to how terrible this restaurant was.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46It was... It had... It was just real garbage.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49- It's been revamped now, but I loved it.- Tell us the name.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51LAUGHTER

0:21:51 > 0:21:53They'll give you free meals!

0:21:53 > 0:21:56I mean, they will give me free meals, that's how I ate.

0:21:56 > 0:22:00I mean, when you're in Hollywood, in other places, like...

0:22:00 > 0:22:02You need a job that gives you your days free

0:22:02 > 0:22:04so you can try to audition for projects,

0:22:04 > 0:22:07so I'd work weekends and I'd work nights and I had no money,

0:22:07 > 0:22:11no-one was coming to the restaurant so I wasn't making any tips.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13I made, like, 20 or 30 bucks a day, maybe,

0:22:13 > 0:22:17- and so it was really a place I'd go to...- Nourishment.- ..to eat, yeah.

0:22:17 > 0:22:21That kitchen fed me for the time that I was there. I used to...

0:22:21 > 0:22:23Oh, man. Do you ever do this?

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Where, like, a lady would come in and she'd be like,

0:22:25 > 0:22:29"What do you recommend?" And I'm like, "32-ounce porterhouse."

0:22:29 > 0:22:31LAUGHTER

0:22:31 > 0:22:34I would always tell them, I said, "Listen, here's how you want it,

0:22:34 > 0:22:36"medium rare with some mushrooms on the side.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39"I'll get you some mashed potato. You're going to love this, ma'am."

0:22:39 > 0:22:41She's like, you know, a 90-year-old woman

0:22:41 > 0:22:44and so I bring this steak out to this lady.

0:22:44 > 0:22:48I'm hiding in the corner watching, like, how much is she eating?

0:22:48 > 0:22:51How much do I get? You know...

0:22:51 > 0:22:54And I go back and she was like, "I can't eat another bite."

0:22:54 > 0:22:58I was like, "Yes!" Maybe 80% of the steak is left

0:22:58 > 0:23:01and we had this thing called the tunnel which is an area between

0:23:01 > 0:23:03the dining room and the kitchen where they keep all the soft drinks

0:23:03 > 0:23:05and the silverware and stuff, and that's...

0:23:05 > 0:23:08I'd been busted so many times eating off people's plates

0:23:08 > 0:23:10that they were like, "You have to stop doing that!

0:23:10 > 0:23:12"Like, it's really, really bad."

0:23:12 > 0:23:14So anything I ate, I had to eat in the tunnel.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Because it was my safe zone where...

0:23:18 > 0:23:20- Safe zone!- From judgment. - From judgment!

0:23:20 > 0:23:23The customers aren't going to see me eat their food and the chef's

0:23:23 > 0:23:25not going to yell at me for eating the food, so it was like,

0:23:25 > 0:23:29I had about 14, maybe, ounces of steak that I had to get down

0:23:29 > 0:23:32in about ten feet and I'm just straight up like...

0:23:32 > 0:23:34- Swallowing.- Komodo dragon.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41Like, wolf this steak down, you know? And then I'm like,

0:23:41 > 0:23:45"Ha, cha-cha-cha! That's like, three days' worth of protein right there."

0:23:45 > 0:23:47I walk back out and the lady

0:23:47 > 0:23:50was like, "Listen, I'd love to get that steak to go."

0:23:50 > 0:23:52And I'm...

0:23:52 > 0:23:55"Oh, oh, gosh, ma'am...

0:23:55 > 0:23:56"Let me go check. I'll go check."

0:23:56 > 0:23:58And I was like, "Oh, fuck, what do I do, what do I do?"

0:23:58 > 0:24:01And I said, "I'm so sorry, I already threw it in the trash.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03"I threw it in the trash."

0:24:03 > 0:24:05And she said, "It's for my dog. It's fine.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07"If you don't mind, just fish it out, put it in a box.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09"It's my dog who's eating it."

0:24:09 > 0:24:12I was like, "You bet, you bet. Yes, ma'am, absolutely. Will do."

0:24:12 > 0:24:14And I walked in, I'm like, "Freddie!

0:24:14 > 0:24:17"I need a porterhouse on the fly, man. Don't ask any questions,

0:24:17 > 0:24:20"just give me one right now!" And so he started cooking that steak

0:24:20 > 0:24:22and I was like... I'm so full of shit, I went up to her,

0:24:22 > 0:24:25I was like, "Ma'am, I'm going to get you that steak.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27"They just took the garbage out to the dumpster.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29"I'm going to roll up my sleeves.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31"I'm going to jump in that dumpster and get it for you.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33"What kind of dog? Pomeranian? No way, I love that, so sweet."

0:24:33 > 0:24:36And so I walked out, I'm like, "Freddie, where's that steak?"

0:24:36 > 0:24:39And she ended up being so, like, happy that I would be willing

0:24:39 > 0:24:43to dig through the garbage for her dog that she gave me a giant tip

0:24:43 > 0:24:46and she left early cos she couldn't wait for the steak to be done,

0:24:46 > 0:24:48so I got another steak and, like...

0:24:48 > 0:24:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:52 > 0:24:55Now, here's a thing. Jamie Oliver makes lovely food,

0:24:55 > 0:24:58- he's saved Christmas... - What is coming on now?- No, no.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00This is... This is extraordinary.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03So you did one simple recipe

0:25:03 > 0:25:06and it caused an international incident, right?

0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Do you remember...- Oh.- Yes.- Yes.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11So on Instagram you posted this.

0:25:11 > 0:25:12Perfectly nice, look at this...

0:25:17 > 0:25:19There you go, perfect.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22Turns out, Spanish people - quite fussy about their food.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24Here's just one of the comments.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31LAUGHTER

0:25:31 > 0:25:33- No, but you don't realise, this was...- Here's another one.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35I like this one.

0:25:41 > 0:25:46- Whoa!- They went medieval on me, man. It was...

0:25:46 > 0:25:48This one is genius. This one is genius.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51They really put a lot of work into this one. They said, like...

0:25:51 > 0:25:52Chorizo, your chorizo.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55That painting, the restoration of that painting.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57LAUGHTER

0:26:00 > 0:26:05- No, it was...- Some people also posted in Spanish. This one...

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Apparently, if you translate that,

0:26:09 > 0:26:12it says, "Chop off your fingers and turn them into nuggets."

0:26:14 > 0:26:17By the way, it gets so much darker than that.

0:26:17 > 0:26:22I mean, like, this trended for weeks, and I had death threats

0:26:22 > 0:26:26- and all sorts because of a bit of sausage.- What?

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Honestly, I was in Canada at the time, I was talking to the president

0:26:29 > 0:26:32and we were doing whole things about...great things -

0:26:32 > 0:26:34childhood obesity strategies in Canada,

0:26:34 > 0:26:35because our one fell to pieces,

0:26:35 > 0:26:37and then as I went out of the BA lounge, they went,

0:26:37 > 0:26:39"Oh, you're in the paper today."

0:26:39 > 0:26:41I went, "Brilliant. Good, solid work."

0:26:41 > 0:26:43And she went, "Yeah, chorizo, Spanish don't like you."

0:26:43 > 0:26:45LAUGHTER

0:26:45 > 0:26:49Whatever I did that month was overtaken by the chorizo.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52Yeah, this kind of says it all. This is the final one.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55That is Spanish for, "I shit on your ancestors."

0:26:55 > 0:26:57LAUGHTER

0:26:57 > 0:27:02- Lovely. Nothing better than a good old dirty protest.- Wow.

0:27:02 > 0:27:04- Don't mess. Don't mess. - But you know what, I don't mind...

0:27:04 > 0:27:06Chorizo sounds delicious right now.

0:27:06 > 0:27:09- They haven't said anything for 15, 20 years.- We were talking about it, now I really want it.

0:27:09 > 0:27:14By the way, just FYI, it tastes better with chorizo.

0:27:14 > 0:27:15Trust me or don't trust me.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18You're starting it again! Stop it!

0:27:18 > 0:27:22Actually, talking of sort of cultural differences,

0:27:22 > 0:27:23- Jennifer Lawrence...- Oh, no.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26You filmed some of The Hunger Games in Hawaii.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28Oh, God, how do you know about this?

0:27:28 > 0:27:31You probably told it somewhere!

0:27:31 > 0:27:34- Yeah.- Cheers! - Mustn't tell that story again!- No.

0:27:34 > 0:27:38No, so you were filming, and where were these rocks?

0:27:38 > 0:27:40Were they kind of on the coast or in the mountains?

0:27:40 > 0:27:45We were filming in Hawaii and there were sacred rocks and they were...

0:27:45 > 0:27:47I don't know, their ancestors, who knows?

0:27:47 > 0:27:51They were sacred and you're not supposed to sit on them

0:27:51 > 0:27:54because you're not supposed to expose your genitalia to them.

0:27:54 > 0:27:59- Bless.- I, however, was in a wet suit for this whole shoot so...

0:27:59 > 0:28:01So it doesn't count, right?

0:28:01 > 0:28:04Oh, my God, they were so good for butt itching!

0:28:04 > 0:28:06I'd just be like, "Ohhh..."

0:28:06 > 0:28:08LAUGHTER

0:28:10 > 0:28:13And, you know, one rock...

0:28:15 > 0:28:19One rock, I was spud-scratching on...

0:28:20 > 0:28:23..ended up coming loose

0:28:23 > 0:28:27and it was a giant boulder and it rolled down this mountain

0:28:27 > 0:28:29and almost killed our sound guy,

0:28:29 > 0:28:32and there was a whole station that got destroyed. It was like, "Pow!"

0:28:32 > 0:28:35Like, it was a huge dramatic deal and all the Hawaiians were like,

0:28:35 > 0:28:39"Oh, my God, it's the curse from our ancestors!"

0:28:39 > 0:28:42And I'm in the corner, like, going, "I'm your curse.

0:28:42 > 0:28:45"I wedged it loose with my ass."

0:28:45 > 0:28:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:28:50 > 0:28:51Never go back to Hawaii.

0:28:51 > 0:28:54Right, it's time for our next guest.

0:28:54 > 0:28:57This seven-time Grammy winner found fame with the Black Eyed Peas

0:28:57 > 0:29:00and became one of the industry's biggest names.

0:29:00 > 0:29:03It's a warm welcome back to will.i.am!

0:29:03 > 0:29:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:05 > 0:29:07MUSIC: Where is the Love? by the Black Eyed Peas

0:29:07 > 0:29:09Hey! Hello. Lovely to see you!

0:29:15 > 0:29:17Whew!

0:29:18 > 0:29:21- Hello!- Hey, are we good, guys?

0:29:21 > 0:29:23- Now, do you have headphones in? - No.- OK.

0:29:23 > 0:29:25LAUGHTER

0:29:25 > 0:29:29Wow, you wedged a rock with your ass. That's awesome.

0:29:29 > 0:29:32Listen, we played a bit of Black Eyed Peas.

0:29:32 > 0:29:35So the Black Eyed Peas, are they back together again?

0:29:35 > 0:29:37- We never broke up.- Oh, didn't you?

0:29:37 > 0:29:40- No, we just took a break. - Oh, OK. For years.

0:29:40 > 0:29:42LAUGHTER

0:29:42 > 0:29:45No, like, we've been on since...

0:29:45 > 0:29:47- since we started it.- OK.

0:29:47 > 0:29:52And Fergie wanted to have a baby, so I mean, that deserves a break.

0:29:52 > 0:29:56- Yes, I agree.- (So he's saying it was Fergie's fault!)- No!

0:29:56 > 0:30:00And then I'm producing her solo record,

0:30:00 > 0:30:03and now we've started a new Black Eyed Peas album, that will be...

0:30:03 > 0:30:06I don't like saying album. We're doing a new Black Eyed Peas project.

0:30:06 > 0:30:10- OK.- That will be out next year, so yeah, it's fresh, pretty fresh.

0:30:10 > 0:30:14OK. Mmm! And you mentioned a few times now that you're interested in

0:30:14 > 0:30:17technology and computers and all that sort of stuff.

0:30:17 > 0:30:21You have big ideas about the future of food. Will.i.am...

0:30:21 > 0:30:22No, those aren't my ideas.

0:30:22 > 0:30:25Well, I hadn't heard them before, so you can tell me.

0:30:25 > 0:30:29Oh, we were talking about 3D printing and how 3D printing

0:30:29 > 0:30:35will change the food that we eat as well and how it's made, prepared.

0:30:35 > 0:30:39I've seen awesome stuff in China and around the world where

0:30:39 > 0:30:44they take protein, put it in a 3D printer and print things like beef.

0:30:44 > 0:30:46- (What is a 3D printer? What?) - Really?- Yeah.

0:30:46 > 0:30:48Jennifer isn't even au fait with a 3D printer,

0:30:48 > 0:30:51- never mind the food coming out of it.- What?

0:30:51 > 0:30:54- Yeah, you can print, like, chocolate...- What?

0:30:54 > 0:30:56You can print, like, cake...

0:30:56 > 0:30:57LAUGHTER

0:30:57 > 0:31:01Could I send you the e-mail, like, of a recipe and it prints it out?

0:31:01 > 0:31:06- Yes.- I would download that book in a heartbeat. Can you imagine? Or...

0:31:06 > 0:31:08Or you invite people over and you run out of ink -

0:31:08 > 0:31:10like, that would be a disaster.

0:31:10 > 0:31:12Well, it wouldn't be ink, ink.

0:31:12 > 0:31:15So, for example, so this is like 20 years from now,

0:31:15 > 0:31:16what the world would be like.

0:31:16 > 0:31:19- OK, I'll invite people now. - Oh, this isn't happening now.

0:31:19 > 0:31:22- No, don't worry, it's the future. - Oh, God!

0:31:22 > 0:31:27Yeah, so, 20 years from now we will have 3D printers that print

0:31:27 > 0:31:31all sorts of things as well as body parts like kidneys and stuff.

0:31:31 > 0:31:33- CHRIS:- Well, they're already doing that.- Yeah.

0:31:33 > 0:31:35- They've already started doing that. - They sound delicious.

0:31:35 > 0:31:37No, no, not eating kidneys!

0:31:37 > 0:31:40Oh, sorry, my mistake! I feel awful.

0:31:40 > 0:31:42Genome sequencing, you know,

0:31:42 > 0:31:46you'll be sick and you need a new kidney or a liver,

0:31:46 > 0:31:50you print it, choo-choo-choo, it will be your genome and...yeah.

0:31:50 > 0:31:53You had me at liver. Very good.

0:31:53 > 0:31:56But I've seen the future.

0:31:56 > 0:31:59I saw their film. You don't eat like that in the Passengers movie.

0:31:59 > 0:32:02- I can't wait to see that! - Oh, thank you!- Oh, thank you.

0:32:02 > 0:32:03Really, I can't. I'm a movie...

0:32:03 > 0:32:08I watch movies, like, all the time and, you know, I love your films.

0:32:08 > 0:32:11- Thank you.- And I love your films. - Oh, thank you.- It's pretty awesome

0:32:11 > 0:32:13- that I'm sitting on the couch with y'all.- Thanks.

0:32:13 > 0:32:15Cos you guys are always on my TV and on my phone and stuff,

0:32:15 > 0:32:18- so like, yeah, that's dope. - Thank you, man.- Thank you.

0:32:18 > 0:32:20Don't watch Passengers on a phone.

0:32:20 > 0:32:23I feel it deserves a bigger forum than your phone.

0:32:23 > 0:32:26No, so, the phone is for when I miss the film, right?

0:32:26 > 0:32:29And then I get the phone, slide it to my Apple TV,

0:32:29 > 0:32:32boom it on my big TV and then boom it like that.

0:32:32 > 0:32:33- Oh!- What?

0:32:33 > 0:32:36LAUGHTER

0:32:36 > 0:32:37You don't have Apple TV?

0:32:37 > 0:32:41- I have Apple TV but I have to use that damn remote.- Yeah.

0:32:41 > 0:32:45- It's taped to a wooden spoon.- Yeah, so...- I always lose it in the bed.

0:32:45 > 0:32:47GRAHAM LAUGHS

0:32:47 > 0:32:50- You tape it to a wooden spoon? - Yeah.- So you don't lose it?

0:32:50 > 0:32:54- That's my invention. - That's pretty smart.- I like that.

0:32:54 > 0:32:57It's old technology and new technology working together.

0:32:57 > 0:32:59Yeah, we're all stealing that idea.

0:32:59 > 0:33:01I'm embarrassed, he came on talking about genome sequencing,

0:33:01 > 0:33:05I'm like, "I get it, I got an Apple TV remote taped to a wooden spoon!"

0:33:07 > 0:33:10Listen, you are spending a long time in the UK because, of course,

0:33:10 > 0:33:13- you're back with The Voice. - Yes.- The Voice is on ITV now.

0:33:13 > 0:33:16Now, obviously it's got ads in it, but apart from that,

0:33:16 > 0:33:19- will it be different? Will it be the same?- It's different.

0:33:19 > 0:33:22One of the things that's different, if we don't turn for somebody,

0:33:22 > 0:33:25the chairs don't turn and then we don't get to say anything to them.

0:33:25 > 0:33:27They're just standing there like, "What the fuck?"

0:33:27 > 0:33:30- And so, that's the new rule. - That's humiliating.- Sorry...

0:33:30 > 0:33:33- I like that, though. - Oh, you can curse on here?

0:33:33 > 0:33:35A little bit - but I like the idea they're just like,

0:33:35 > 0:33:37their footsteps just going clunk, clunk, clunk.

0:33:37 > 0:33:40Yeah, that sucks, cos you can't give them any feedback.

0:33:40 > 0:33:42Do people clap, at least, as they walk off? No?

0:33:42 > 0:33:46- Sometimes they're booing that we didn't turn.- Oh, I see.

0:33:46 > 0:33:48Oh, do the contestants think that they're being booed?

0:33:48 > 0:33:51- No, they know it.- Oh, they know. - Yeah, they know that...

0:33:51 > 0:33:54There's times when we should have turned but we're all,

0:33:54 > 0:33:58you know, in our own head thinking that we're waiting for Jesus Christ

0:33:58 > 0:34:00- to come singing and blow our ears off.- Yeah.- Wow.

0:34:00 > 0:34:03But Jesus Christ doesn't come.

0:34:03 > 0:34:06So then everybody starts booing.

0:34:06 > 0:34:09Wouldn't that be interesting if that's how he came back, though?

0:34:09 > 0:34:11LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:34:15 > 0:34:18That would be. Yeah.

0:34:20 > 0:34:23"And on the third verse they did not turn again."

0:34:23 > 0:34:25LAUGHTER

0:34:28 > 0:34:31So it returns on ITV in the New Year.

0:34:31 > 0:34:34Obviously other programmes are available on BBC ONE.

0:34:34 > 0:34:37But you brought us a little sneak peek,

0:34:37 > 0:34:40and this is you and the other judges having a laugh at the auditions.

0:34:40 > 0:34:43Whoever's coming up next, if you can hear me back there,

0:34:43 > 0:34:45don't be nervous!

0:34:45 > 0:34:46Just bring that fi-ah!

0:34:48 > 0:34:50Well, we could do Great Balls of Fire.

0:34:50 > 0:34:52- Come on!- OK!

0:34:52 > 0:34:54CHEERING

0:34:54 > 0:34:58# You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain

0:34:58 > 0:35:01# Too much love drives a man insane

0:35:01 > 0:35:03# You broke my will

0:35:03 > 0:35:05# Oh, what a thrill

0:35:05 > 0:35:06# Goodness, gracious

0:35:06 > 0:35:08# Great balls of fire!

0:35:08 > 0:35:12# I laughed at love cos I thought it was funny

0:35:12 > 0:35:15# You came along and moved me, honey

0:35:15 > 0:35:17# I've changed my mind

0:35:17 > 0:35:19# This love is fine

0:35:19 > 0:35:22# Goodness, gracious Great balls of fire! #

0:35:23 > 0:35:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:35:29 > 0:35:31Yeah!

0:35:31 > 0:35:33Wow! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:35:33 > 0:35:36Er, listen, it's time for our musical performance.

0:35:36 > 0:35:38This lady's first album was the biggest seller of 2012

0:35:38 > 0:35:40and went seven times platinum.

0:35:40 > 0:35:42Performing her new single, Breathing Underwater,

0:35:42 > 0:35:45please welcome Emeli Sande!

0:35:45 > 0:35:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:36:02 > 0:36:06# I believe in miracles

0:36:06 > 0:36:10# Cos it's a miracle I'm here

0:36:14 > 0:36:19# Guess you could call me spiritual

0:36:19 > 0:36:23# Cos physical is fear

0:36:24 > 0:36:28# And it's safe to say

0:36:28 > 0:36:31# The storm's gone away

0:36:31 > 0:36:37# And I'm dancing on the morning after

0:36:37 > 0:36:40# Yes, I'd love to stay

0:36:40 > 0:36:43# But my home's the other way

0:36:43 > 0:36:48# And I miss the love and laughter

0:36:48 > 0:36:52# Something like flying

0:36:52 > 0:36:56# Hard to describe it

0:36:56 > 0:37:01# My God, I'm breathing underwater

0:37:01 > 0:37:05# Something like freedom

0:37:05 > 0:37:08# Freedom

0:37:08 > 0:37:13# My God, I'm breathing underwater

0:37:16 > 0:37:21# Every moon and every star

0:37:21 > 0:37:25# Knows who you are, you know

0:37:29 > 0:37:33# So ever if it gets too dark

0:37:33 > 0:37:38# You never are alone

0:37:39 > 0:37:42# And it's safe to say

0:37:42 > 0:37:45# You surrender your days

0:37:45 > 0:37:52# To pay back all the love you borrowed

0:37:52 > 0:37:55# Yes, hopes are high

0:37:55 > 0:37:58# You survived yesterday

0:37:58 > 0:38:03# And today is jealous of tomorrow

0:38:03 > 0:38:07# Something like flying

0:38:07 > 0:38:10# Hard to describe it

0:38:10 > 0:38:15# My God, I'm breathing underwater

0:38:15 > 0:38:20# Something like freedom

0:38:20 > 0:38:22# Freedom

0:38:23 > 0:38:28# My God, I'm breathing underwater

0:38:28 > 0:38:32# Something like flying

0:38:32 > 0:38:35# Hard to describe it

0:38:35 > 0:38:40# My God, I'm breathing underwater

0:38:40 > 0:38:43# Something like freedom

0:38:45 > 0:38:48# Freedom

0:38:48 > 0:38:53# My God I'm breathing underwater. #

0:38:58 > 0:39:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:39:05 > 0:39:07Emeli Sande, everybody!

0:39:07 > 0:39:11Beautiful job! Please come and join us, do!

0:39:12 > 0:39:14Oh, that was amazing!

0:39:14 > 0:39:16Emeli Sande, hello, darling.

0:39:16 > 0:39:18- Mwah, mwah, go and join the others, do.- Thank you.

0:39:18 > 0:39:21And the band, the singers, everybody there.

0:39:22 > 0:39:25That's Jamie, we've got Chris, we've got Jennifer,

0:39:25 > 0:39:26we've got will.i.am!

0:39:26 > 0:39:28APPLAUSE

0:39:28 > 0:39:29Very good.

0:39:29 > 0:39:32OK, ooh, he's coming round, he's coming round.

0:39:32 > 0:39:35- You're awesome, I love that song. - Thank you.- It was beautiful.

0:39:35 > 0:39:37Now, if everyone squashes up, there's room for everybody.

0:39:37 > 0:39:38There we go, lovely, marvellous.

0:39:38 > 0:39:41- Congratulations on that, that was gorgeous.- Thank you.

0:39:41 > 0:39:43Thank you very much, and that's the new single,

0:39:43 > 0:39:47- it's off the album Long Live The Angels, which is out now.- Yes.

0:39:47 > 0:39:49So, I was trying to figure out, is it four years since...?

0:39:49 > 0:39:52Yeah, 2012 was the last album, so it's been a while, yeah.

0:39:52 > 0:39:55Yeah, and I know people want to talk to you about it

0:39:55 > 0:39:56and, blah, blah, blah,

0:39:56 > 0:39:58but I suppose it is that thing when, you know,

0:39:58 > 0:40:01people go out there, they look for success, they want success,

0:40:01 > 0:40:03but nothing can prepare you for it.

0:40:03 > 0:40:06So did it kind of freak you out when that album went so big?

0:40:06 > 0:40:07Yeah, a little bit.

0:40:07 > 0:40:10I mean, it was amazing to sing the songs and to perform

0:40:10 > 0:40:14and connect with people, but I'm quite a shy, introverted person,

0:40:14 > 0:40:17so to be out there all of a sudden, it was quite, erm,

0:40:17 > 0:40:20unusual for me, and I felt like I had to go back to, er,

0:40:20 > 0:40:24to real life to really get to grips with songwriting again,

0:40:24 > 0:40:27get better at what I do. So it was important for me to take time away.

0:40:27 > 0:40:28Also, I guess if you're writing music,

0:40:28 > 0:40:31- you've got to have a bit of a life! - Yeah, exactly.

0:40:31 > 0:40:33You can't sing songs about waiting for your luggage

0:40:33 > 0:40:34at the first class lounge!

0:40:36 > 0:40:38Yeah, yeah, I want to talk about real life

0:40:38 > 0:40:39and I want to talk about real feelings.

0:40:39 > 0:40:41- It's true.- I wrote a song about that last night!

0:40:41 > 0:40:43LAUGHTER

0:40:45 > 0:40:48Never record it. Erm, now, you've never...

0:40:48 > 0:40:51In this country, you've never really toured before, have you?

0:40:51 > 0:40:53Well, I've toured, but, erm,

0:40:53 > 0:40:56not on the level where we're going to do next year.

0:40:56 > 0:40:57Oh, so, what's happening? Tell us.

0:40:57 > 0:41:00Well, I'm going to do my first arena tour, erm, and, yeah,

0:41:00 > 0:41:04it's going to be announced and tickets go on sale next Wednesday,

0:41:04 > 0:41:08so that's a dream come true for me, and, yeah, I can't wait.

0:41:08 > 0:41:09Oh, wow, yeah...

0:41:09 > 0:41:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:13 > 0:41:16Fantastic - and, seriously, thank you for that performance,

0:41:16 > 0:41:17it was absolutely stunning.

0:41:17 > 0:41:19Emeli Sande, everybody. Very good.

0:41:19 > 0:41:21Now, er... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:21 > 0:41:23That's nearly it,

0:41:23 > 0:41:26but before we go we've got time for a visit to the Big Red Chair.

0:41:26 > 0:41:27Who's there? Hello!

0:41:27 > 0:41:30- Hello!- Hi, what's your name? - Pamela.

0:41:30 > 0:41:32- Lovely, and where are you from, Pamela?- St Albans.

0:41:32 > 0:41:36St Albans! Oh, it's a game of two halves, St Albans.

0:41:36 > 0:41:38Some of it's lovely. Erm... LAUGHTER

0:41:38 > 0:41:41- And what do you do in St Albans, Pamela?- I'm retired now.

0:41:41 > 0:41:43Oh, right. What did you do?

0:41:43 > 0:41:46- I was in education. - In education?- Yes.

0:41:46 > 0:41:48Teacher, perhaps?

0:41:48 > 0:41:52- Well, yes, and then I went into management and...- OK.

0:41:52 > 0:41:55- ..exchange management.- Well, I'm not a detective, I won't keep going.

0:41:55 > 0:41:59All right, Pamela, off you go with your story.

0:41:59 > 0:42:03Well, when I was a teenager, I was really naive,

0:42:03 > 0:42:06and when I was about 17 or 18,

0:42:06 > 0:42:10I was at a party and somebody told a joke.

0:42:10 > 0:42:12And everybody laughed, but this joke went way over my head.

0:42:12 > 0:42:14But I thought I'd better laugh,

0:42:14 > 0:42:17because everybody else laughed, so it must be funny.

0:42:17 > 0:42:21And then the next week, I was at another party, so I thought,

0:42:21 > 0:42:23"Oh, I'll tell that joke."

0:42:23 > 0:42:26So I said, "OK, everybody, how do you circumcise a whale?"

0:42:28 > 0:42:31And somebody said, "I don't know, how do you circumcise a whale?"

0:42:31 > 0:42:35And I said, "You send down five skin divers."

0:42:35 > 0:42:38And there was absolute silence.

0:42:38 > 0:42:40And I thought, "Oh, my God, everybody laughed last week."

0:42:40 > 0:42:44And then somebody said, "Do you not mean FOUR?"

0:42:44 > 0:42:47And I said, "Oh, well, that's what they said last week!"

0:42:47 > 0:42:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:42:49 > 0:42:51So I thought, the more the merrier!

0:42:53 > 0:42:56That was really good! Can Pamela walk? Pamela can walk!

0:42:56 > 0:42:59Come on, walk, Pamela! Very good.

0:43:03 > 0:43:05Yeah, jokes can be in the details.

0:43:07 > 0:43:09Er, OK, who have we got next?

0:43:09 > 0:43:12- Hello!- Hello, Graham! - Hi, what's your name?- Jackie.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15- And where are you from, Jackie? - I'm from Shoreham, near Brighton.

0:43:15 > 0:43:18Shoreham, it's a very nice part of Brighton, that,

0:43:18 > 0:43:19very nice part of Brighton.

0:43:19 > 0:43:21- And what do you do down there? - I'm a mother of two,

0:43:21 > 0:43:24and I look after the accounts in my husband's company.

0:43:24 > 0:43:27Ooh, Shoreham's a very nice part of the world, OK?

0:43:27 > 0:43:29Er, all right, off you go with your story.

0:43:29 > 0:43:32Right, so, my husband comes downstairs one day,

0:43:32 > 0:43:34and announces he is in so much pain -

0:43:34 > 0:43:37he thinks he's got piles and could I take a look?

0:43:38 > 0:43:41- So I said... - Great opening to any story!

0:43:41 > 0:43:43LAUGHTER

0:43:43 > 0:43:44- That's good. - So I said, "Not happening.

0:43:44 > 0:43:47"You think you've got piles, go to the doctor."

0:43:47 > 0:43:51But he goes on and on and on, he's saying things like, "There's nothing

0:43:51 > 0:43:56"I wouldn't do for you, I've seen you give birth, please take a look."

0:43:56 > 0:44:00So, anyway, eventually, he wears me down, I said OK.

0:44:00 > 0:44:03In the bathroom he goes, I'm at a safe three-metre distance.

0:44:04 > 0:44:07He pulls his pants down,

0:44:07 > 0:44:11and I see this huge, shiny red bubble, and I'm like,

0:44:11 > 0:44:15"Oh, my God, Paul, you need to go to the doctor, this isn't good!

0:44:15 > 0:44:17"We need to go to the hospital!"

0:44:17 > 0:44:19And he starts laughing, and says,

0:44:19 > 0:44:21"I don't need to go to the hospital for that,"

0:44:21 > 0:44:22and pulls out a cherry tomato.

0:44:22 > 0:44:24LAUGHTER

0:44:29 > 0:44:30- Did you like it?- I liked it.

0:44:30 > 0:44:34- Jennifer Lawrence says you can walk, OK.- Thanks, Graham!

0:44:34 > 0:44:36APPLAUSE What a mad household!

0:44:36 > 0:44:37Well done, everyone!

0:44:37 > 0:44:41If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go in the Big Red Chair,

0:44:41 > 0:44:44you can contact us via website at this very address.

0:44:44 > 0:44:45That's it for tonight,

0:44:45 > 0:44:47please say thank you to my guests, Emeli Sande!

0:44:47 > 0:44:49will.i.am!

0:44:49 > 0:44:52Jamie Oliver!

0:44:52 > 0:44:53Chris Pratt!

0:44:53 > 0:44:55And Jennifer Lawrence!

0:44:55 > 0:44:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:44:57 > 0:45:00Join me next week with Bake-Off star Nadiya Hussain,

0:45:00 > 0:45:02new QI host Sandi Toksvig, artist Grayson Perry,

0:45:02 > 0:45:05and Princess Leia herself, Carrie Fisher.

0:45:05 > 0:45:08I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody, bye-bye!