:00:12. > :00:16.Tonight on the show we have one of the world's best survival experts.
:00:16. > :00:26.This man is making him feel welcome By starting a fire. Come on, faster,
:00:26. > :00:43.
:00:43. > :00:53.faster! You're good. Let's start CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:00:53. > :01:00.
:01:00. > :01:06.Hello. Hello. Hello. Good evening. Welcome all. What a week. Have you
:01:06. > :01:11.been watching Royal Ascot? Have you? No. Such nonsense, we don't
:01:11. > :01:19.watch that. Lots of marvellous hats being worn. Some people really made
:01:19. > :01:23.the effort. And some racegoers hardly made an effort at all. We've
:01:23. > :01:30.got a stellar line-up for you tonight. Hollywood has come a-
:01:30. > :01:37.calling, the wonderful Cameron Diaz is here. CHEERING I know! Survival
:01:37. > :01:43.specialist Bear Grylls is here. CHEERING Yes! Top American comic
:01:43. > :01:52.Kathy Griffin is here. CHEERING And we'll be having music from Friendly
:01:52. > :01:56.Fires. CHEERING What a line-up. All of them outrageous. Kathy's comedy
:01:56. > :01:58.is really out there. Nothing scares Bear, and even Cameron is fearless.
:01:58. > :02:06.Remember her in There's Something About Mary, where she used that
:02:06. > :02:14."special" hair product? Although when you Google the words "Cameron"
:02:14. > :02:24.and "special hair products" you get this. LAUGHTER Oh, Nick Clegg, you
:02:24. > :02:34.
:02:34. > :02:41.didn't! Cameron starred as Princess Kate Moss there, just about to get
:02:41. > :02:51.married. That will be a white wedding,
:02:51. > :02:51.
:02:51. > :02:58."Gather round, everyone. We are about to cut the Coke." LAUGHTER
:02:58. > :03:02.Cameron also starred in Knight and Day, an action-packed spy film. And
:03:03. > :03:10.here she is in a fight scene with Tom Cruise.
:03:10. > :03:16.LAUGHTER I'm really excited about meeting
:03:16. > :03:26.Bear Grylls. CHEERING Bear has been in so much different situations.
:03:26. > :03:28.
:03:28. > :03:38.Here he is a pop ar bear. And here, smoky bear. Here, oh, Pooh Bear.
:03:38. > :03:41.
:03:41. > :03:45.Let's get some guests on. First an American star who is
:03:45. > :03:55.earning her stripes over here it's Kathy Griffin!
:03:55. > :04:00.
:04:00. > :04:07.Hello my darling. Hello. It's Bear Grylls!
:04:07. > :04:13.They love you. Sit yourself down. And there is something about my
:04:13. > :04:19.star guest, it's Cameron Diaz! CHEERING
:04:19. > :04:24.Wowzer! So nice to meet you. Sit down.
:04:24. > :04:30.Hello everyone. Hello Graham. Somebody take our picture. I might
:04:30. > :04:36.tape this one. Can I just say, we've had fit people on the show,
:04:36. > :04:40.but as a general scen us I would say it's the buffest couch --
:04:40. > :04:47.consensus, I would say it's the buffest couch I've ever had. Look
:04:47. > :04:57.at the guns on that! Wow! It is phenomenal. And you look in great
:04:57. > :05:01.shape. I know, show us your tits. went into Graham's dressing room
:05:01. > :05:07.before and he was doing press-ups. Were you under him or just
:05:07. > :05:13.watching? Just watching. Recently Cameron I saw quite a lot of your
:05:13. > :05:19.body? Bad Teacher, your new movie. There's a fantastic montage you do.
:05:19. > :05:24.Here you are just washing cars. Sexy naughty lady. That's got to
:05:24. > :05:29.take a lot of work to look this good. Did you gym a lot? It is a
:05:29. > :05:33.matter of consistency. For me that's what I found, especially
:05:33. > :05:36.getting older it is a consistency thing. I say to women, start now.
:05:36. > :05:40.Especially if you're young. Don't wait. Don't think that eventually
:05:41. > :05:46.you'll get there. Start now, because you'll stay that way longer.
:05:46. > :05:51.You can't get back to it. With that depressing news, we leave this
:05:51. > :05:57.programme... People up and down the country with glasses of wine and
:05:57. > :06:03.chips going, "What?" Right now? are gyming here aren't you? You
:06:03. > :06:08.joined a London gym. I did. But I have never worked out with Prince
:06:08. > :06:13.Harry. I don't know him... We heard you were sleeping with him. I heard
:06:13. > :06:19.that too. I was like, how did this happen? Don't sleep with him,
:06:19. > :06:25.unless you intend to marry him. Don't mess with his little mind.
:06:25. > :06:29.You will never find anyone as good as you. He will be a lonely old
:06:29. > :06:34.bachelor with ginger hair. Bear, we've seen how fit you are. Are you
:06:34. > :06:41.fit just from hanging off cliffs and things or do you have to go to
:06:41. > :06:47.a gym. Wow! Don't keep your shirt on for us. Everybody is saying that,
:06:47. > :06:52.but no, I like it. I consider it part of my job and I need to keep
:06:52. > :06:59.fit for my work. Sian my wife... I'm sorry, you said something
:06:59. > :07:04.upsetting to me. LAUGHTER Your wife? Ouch! Sorry. That's like a
:07:04. > :07:08.dagger in my heart but go ahead with your "little" story. That was
:07:08. > :07:14.the main point of it really. the scrap you eat, all the weird
:07:14. > :07:19.stuff. How many calories are in a hunter spider. Is that fattening?
:07:19. > :07:23.always go for the low-calorie grub. You need the calories out there
:07:23. > :07:29.don't stphru You do, the job is physically demanding, so I don't
:07:29. > :07:35.feel bad about eating lots of spiders or scorpions. Do you ever
:07:35. > :07:45.put them in a sandwich with extra carbs? You know what we have right
:07:45. > :07:48.
:07:48. > :07:56.here? What? A bear sandwich. Girls, are you hungry? Hi. CHEERING
:07:56. > :08:00.Kathy, your body is very... I have what's called a banging bikini bod.
:08:00. > :08:07.Everyone in the modelling world is talking about it. She's fit.
:08:07. > :08:15.I'm hungry and bitter. That's my diet tip. You are a top American
:08:15. > :08:22.comic and you are full and frank about your own life. Yes, I've had
:08:22. > :08:28."dental work" which is Hollywood code for plastic surgery. I had
:08:28. > :08:34.lipo but it came back. Am I being do candid? I diet and worked out a
:08:34. > :08:39.little bit. Does it come back, I've heard it coming back on the back of
:08:39. > :08:43.people's hands? It didn't come back on my boobs, which is what I wanted.
:08:43. > :08:49.Where you've had more than one plastic surgery operation... This
:08:49. > :08:55.is my second nose. Why would you go back? This is true, I wish I was
:08:55. > :09:04.making it up. I was getting my first nose job and I woke up in the
:09:04. > :09:08.middle, to this little mallet. This is true. I woke up and you have the
:09:08. > :09:14.anaesthesiologist's hand if I wake up and I heard a chink and I went
:09:14. > :09:21.back to sleep. You woke up as they broke your nose? Yes, and I didn't
:09:21. > :09:25.get 10% discount. And you went back and did it again! I wanted a
:09:25. > :09:28.smaller person. I wanted to be a different person. I want a full
:09:28. > :09:34.head transplant. I broke my nose four times and none of those times
:09:34. > :09:41.was I asleep when it was happening. It hurts. I wish I could have
:09:41. > :09:49.squeezed somebody's hand. Did you do the surf board? Surf board, two
:09:49. > :09:55.fists and a knee. Surf board fine. Two fists? Were you in fights?
:09:55. > :10:00.the first time it happened I was 11 and at a party. My parents are good
:10:00. > :10:06.parents, they were amazing, but I was at a party when I was 11 and
:10:06. > :10:11.there were some bouncers, the Samoan bouncer was coming down the
:10:12. > :10:20.hall and I turned and landed on the middle of him. He picked me up and
:10:20. > :10:26.threw me over his shoulder. The man behind was going, "Whoo" because he
:10:26. > :10:31.was Samoan. He put me over and the guy said, "Wow! We had better take
:10:31. > :10:35.care of that." It didn't go all the way back. But it is pretty good now.
:10:35. > :10:39.I could not breathe. After the surf board, after the second fist and
:10:39. > :10:42.the knee, I still could breathe, but after the surf board it was
:10:42. > :10:48.like I couldn't breathe any more. I didn't want to ever fix the shape
:10:48. > :10:53.of my nose. In fact it bothers me that I had to change it a little
:10:53. > :11:00.because I could breathe. But being able to breathe is amazing. Isn't
:11:00. > :11:07.breathing sco underrated. Like you are a survival expert. It is lesson
:11:07. > :11:13.one of survival - keep breathing. Cameron Diaz, me must talk about
:11:13. > :11:17.your new movie. OK. It sounds right up your Strasse because it has
:11:17. > :11:23.adult themes. Themes with adult situations. It is really funny.
:11:23. > :11:28.you like it? I really liked it, and I love you in it, because you are
:11:28. > :11:34.fearless in it. It's a brilliant character. Thank you. Give us a one
:11:34. > :11:37.line synopsis of plot. It is about a woman who is really focused on,
:11:37. > :11:42.she wants to find a man too to take care of her, because that's the
:11:42. > :11:50.line of business she's in. As a business investment she's looking
:11:50. > :11:55.to buy herself a pair of breasts from the dentist. But she can't
:11:55. > :12:01.afford it because she is broke and she's a teacher. So she is looking
:12:01. > :12:06.for a man. And of course there is not as many millionaires as there
:12:06. > :12:11.used to be with the economy crashing and everything. So it is
:12:11. > :12:16.harder, a lot of, what's the word I'm looking for, there's a lot of
:12:16. > :12:23.competition out there. And Justin Timberlake's character says one
:12:23. > :12:28.line, "It's impossible." It is a long line. I haven't taken a breath
:12:28. > :12:34.yet. No punctuation. Justin's character happens to be a trust
:12:34. > :12:39.fund baby, and I go after him. good and actor as you are, it has
:12:39. > :12:49.to be a bit awkward. No, there's a scene in the film where Justin and
:12:49. > :12:54.I do what we refer to as a Jean jarges dry humping or safe sex,
:12:54. > :12:59.which is what we are going with on our campaign with this movie.
:12:59. > :13:06.one of the weirdest... Hump your way through school and you'll be
:13:06. > :13:11.fine. Keep the jeans on. It is one of the weirdest scenes. We made a
:13:11. > :13:17.conscious effort, it was our goal to make the least sexiest sex scene
:13:17. > :13:22.that's ever been caught on film. I respect believe we succeeded.
:13:22. > :13:27.We showed perfectly as comedic actors the lack of chemistry
:13:27. > :13:31.between these two people. I don't think we could have achieved it if
:13:31. > :13:37.it was some guy I didn't know and I didn't know what the boundaries
:13:37. > :13:41.were, and I was thinking, "Could he like me, or do I like him?" It is
:13:41. > :13:46.so clearly defined between Justin and I because we are such good
:13:46. > :13:50.friends. You've been through all that. We've been broken up almost
:13:50. > :13:56.as long as we were together, almost ten years. Staying friends with
:13:56. > :14:01.exes, it can work out. But stay friends with exes Kathy? No, I hate
:14:01. > :14:11.them. Every last one of them. I hate them and I blame them. I am a
:14:11. > :14:14.
:14:14. > :14:20.pretty little princess, right? We have a clip of you. There she is.
:14:20. > :14:26.Elizabeth. Woo! I am so excited we are going to be across the hall
:14:26. > :14:36.mates but I am so sad it is because your relationship ended? Who are
:14:36. > :14:37.
:14:37. > :14:43.you again? Amy Squirrel. Squirrel? You were a lone wolf last year and
:14:43. > :14:53.busy planning the wedding. I found him in bed with somebody else.
:14:53. > :15:01.my gosh. It was another man. Shut the front door! She is British. She
:15:01. > :15:07.does a great American accent. amazing. She is very funny. Shunt
:15:07. > :15:14.the front door! Shut the front door is going to be one of those lines.
:15:14. > :15:22.I have never heard of it. It is southern. It is right up there with
:15:22. > :15:28.what the helicopter. Or I beg your parsnips. What a sweet sofa! The
:15:28. > :15:33.school you are in, you are like the Bad Teacher, you are kiss r kick
:15:33. > :15:40.ass but everyone else is adorable and sweet. Kind of. Amy, she is a
:15:40. > :15:45.bit of a fake and phoney. Yes, her storyline. You, You think growing
:15:45. > :15:49.up in California it must be great, your school was rough.. Yes I grew
:15:49. > :15:54.up in pretty much ghetto. It is the blonde hair blue eyes that tricks
:15:54. > :15:59.you. Then you hear me talk and you go "What's wrong with this person."
:15:59. > :16:09.You got into fights. You had to be being a skinny white girl. You have
:16:09. > :16:15.
:16:15. > :16:20.to be able to defend yourself. Do you have a hood name? I did. I
:16:20. > :16:28.was packin'. Do you want to show them what you're packing today.
:16:28. > :16:38.I tucked it. You mean this? I thought you meant something else.
:16:38. > :16:39.
:16:39. > :16:44.Tucked it? What are you trying to tell us? I will say anything for a
:16:44. > :16:49.laugh. You want some? She says she is packing. We meant lipgloss.
:16:49. > :16:54.Talking about going to school, because your parents weren't very
:16:55. > :17:00.strict and your granny, your granny was like a Bear Grylls. She would
:17:00. > :17:05.have put you to shame! Tell me about your granny. She lived off
:17:05. > :17:09.the land. Literally she raised everything she ate. And made her
:17:09. > :17:13.clothes and everything and during the summer she would go to Arizona
:17:13. > :17:18.where she lived in the valley in California, it is about 100 degrees
:17:18. > :17:22.in the summer but it was too cold for her, so she had to go to
:17:22. > :17:28.Arizona where it is 120 degrees. She would walk round with her skirt
:17:28. > :17:34.on, and a pair of sandals. Topless. This is a woman who has six
:17:34. > :17:41.children, OK. They were like, they were... The Bad Teacher would not
:17:41. > :17:46.have worn them. They were below the waistband. Where the Lord intended.
:17:46. > :17:50.Where you can flip them over the should foretr baby on the back.
:17:50. > :17:54.That is what they do in Africa. That is why boobys are supposed to
:17:54. > :17:59.sag, you can put it over the shoulder so the babies on the back
:17:59. > :18:04.can suckle and you don't have to stop working. Little lesson, right.
:18:04. > :18:12.You didn't know that. If your granny did that... I don't know if
:18:12. > :18:18.she did it. She could have. would go hunting in the desert with
:18:18. > :18:27.a machetey and come back with a rattle snake. My uncles said one of
:18:27. > :18:33.the visuals of his mother is sandal, skirt, topless, beheaded snake and
:18:33. > :18:37.a machetey, and a smile. You would have loved her Bear. Have you had
:18:37. > :18:44.snake? I have. It tastes like chicken. I doesn't. They say
:18:44. > :18:52.everything tastes like chicken, but I doesn't. I had chicken that
:18:52. > :18:58.tasted like cat one time. I am sure it was cat. If it tastes like cat,
:18:58. > :19:06.smells like cat... I took the leg and I said "That's not a chicken
:19:06. > :19:13.leg." This chicken had a paw. Your mom sounds formidable, is she
:19:14. > :19:17.still going strong. She turned 91 last week. She celebrated by
:19:17. > :19:24.tipping a box of wine. She doesn't believe in drinking out of a glass.
:19:24. > :19:30.She is fine with box, so if she gets hammers and it falls off no-
:19:30. > :19:35.one gets hurt. Yeah. I'm from a long line of happy and bitter
:19:35. > :19:44.alcoholics. Tip that box. Tip it. In the middle here, you have these
:19:44. > :19:50.ladies, Bear, very posh. You went to Eton. My 34-year-old mother...
:19:50. > :19:54.She used to pull like things out the bin. I remember once seeing her
:19:54. > :20:00.opening the fringe fridge and seeing green pork chops where they
:20:00. > :20:04.had gone green. My dad picked them up, tip them in the bin. My mum
:20:04. > :20:10.went past going there is nothing wrong with that. My sister said
:20:10. > :20:14.that is where I developed a cast Iran stomach so thanks mum. Eton,
:20:14. > :20:20.it seems unlikely you would have gone to Eton and now doing what you
:20:20. > :20:25.do. Yes it was quite scary at as a 13-year-old going there. You are
:20:25. > :20:30.away from home and stuff. But the nearest girls school was about 30
:20:30. > :20:34.miles away and it was a convent, and so you had to work hard, you
:20:34. > :20:38.know if you wanted to get a girl. And I did get a girlfriend
:20:38. > :20:43.eventually. I remember borrowing a bike with one gear and it was 30
:20:43. > :20:48.miles of uphill, and I took the afternoon and got to the school,
:20:48. > :20:52.and I was with this girl and she took me by the hand, led me through
:20:52. > :20:57.the woods. And I thought, this is Christmas, you know, this didn't
:20:57. > :21:04.happen very often. We got to this bush, and...
:21:04. > :21:10.LAUGHTER Keep going Bear. Keep going.
:21:10. > :21:14.way, it is about, she leaned over, we were about to kiss, she stopped
:21:14. > :21:22.and she said there is one of the nuns. I went "Don't worry about
:21:22. > :21:28.that." I turned round and there was a nun, with this Alsatian snarling.
:21:28. > :21:34.And this girl looked at me with fear in her eyes and she went
:21:34. > :21:39."Run." Like Forrest Gump I took her advice. You had to work hard to get
:21:40. > :21:44.a girlfriend. That is a good nun though isn't it. A dirty nun with
:21:44. > :21:50.an angry dog making him run from a bush. Now, Kathy Griffin, you are
:21:50. > :21:54.over here, doing a show, two shows. Yes two on Sunday at the Palace,
:21:54. > :22:04.one is appropriately -- inappropriately at 4.30. Which is
:22:04. > :22:05.
:22:05. > :22:11.early to tell Dick jokes. So I will be making fun of many celebrities,
:22:11. > :22:16.I might make fun of Sarah Palin a little bit. A tiny bit. She is a a
:22:16. > :22:23.moron. Really. You can say that here? Just kidding everybody, relax.
:22:23. > :22:28.house, I put my money where my mouth s I will make fun of then and
:22:28. > :22:34.go to their house, I went to her house, knocked on her door and you
:22:34. > :22:40.could not see Russia from her house. I can fer fi -- verify that.
:22:40. > :22:49.were going to do a show with her. Do you have stick figures and flash
:22:49. > :22:55.cards? Something could go wrong... She didn't make it. Oh wow, that
:22:55. > :23:05.ease amazing. Such a good idea. I'd totally do one. Absolutely. That
:23:05. > :23:05.
:23:05. > :23:11.would be so amazing. We have done one, we did Jake Gyllenhaal. We had
:23:11. > :23:18.some crazy weather. The worst storms for ten year, we had a jumbo
:23:18. > :23:22.jet blowing sideways while I was up a mountain. Both of us being blown
:23:22. > :23:27.like tumbleweed. It is bad if you fall off a mountain but they would
:23:27. > :23:36.shout at you if he did. You take someone famous and the insurance
:23:36. > :23:43.guy is going "Can you promise us he will be safe." Of course you can't..
:23:43. > :23:51.So you had to sign his lives away? I thought nobody has asked me that.
:23:51. > :23:56.Maybe that is a... Not that I mind. His family can live off the box set
:23:57. > :24:06.proceeds. Can you guarantee yourself you won't be hurt?
:24:07. > :24:14.
:24:14. > :24:20.There you go. I'll keep you safe. Creepy now! Now. And Nancy. Nancy?
:24:20. > :24:29.That's his wife's name. I slept with him two hours ago. You thought
:24:29. > :24:34.you had been in dangerous positions before! Welcome to the jungle baby.
:24:34. > :24:41.Bear is so in now. He is so in the act. Thank you for the extra
:24:41. > :24:46.material. Now in terms of Sunday, when you are on stage. I am
:24:46. > :24:53.concerned, how familiar are you with our celebrities? I am doing my
:24:53. > :24:58.homework and I am getting the newspaper, such as Hello and Heat.
:24:58. > :25:06.But I have something to learn. you bought those you will know
:25:06. > :25:16.these. You can join in. Who is this? That is a footballer. Yes.
:25:16. > :25:16.
:25:16. > :25:24.it Ryan. Yes. Ryan Wilkies. I don't know anybody. Ryan gigs. Who was he
:25:24. > :25:30.sleeping with? Well.... Who isn't he, should I say. How long is your
:25:30. > :25:36.matinee? As long as you want. I bet you, you have to talk about
:25:36. > :25:43.this, this is the, the image. all about Pippa. If I was Kate and
:25:43. > :25:48.my sister showed up in that dress I would cut her. Go back. Go change.
:25:48. > :25:54.Go back and put on the high collar period piece we talked about
:25:54. > :26:04.earlier. She stole the show. did. When she was on the cover of
:26:04. > :26:04.
:26:04. > :26:08.People., we knew. So in America... She has caught on more than Kate.
:26:08. > :26:12.Guys lover her and have naughty thoughts. That name is ridiculous.
:26:12. > :26:18.I mean, how much money does she have she is bored with her name and
:26:18. > :26:27.decided to call herself Pippa. It is like an Eton name. It is like a
:26:27. > :26:32.society name. Like Muffy or Tipi. I have money and a hot body, screw
:26:32. > :26:42.you. It is not all classy people. Good. Do you recognise these
:26:42. > :26:42.
:26:42. > :26:52.people? Is that girls allowed? -- Girls Aloud Girls Aloud. You
:26:52. > :26:54.
:26:54. > :27:01.know? I am bad on girl bands. not even a girl band. Geordie
:27:01. > :27:10.Shores. You are so close. It is the only way is Essex. Will do my
:27:10. > :27:16.Fantastic, gold mine of ridiculousness. That is me genre.
:27:16. > :27:23.Six years camera's everything. Is it over. I am sitting here with
:27:23. > :27:30.this dude and Cameron Diaz. It was too big. This is the best I can do.
:27:30. > :27:35.You owe him one. I am going to get him back, trust me. In terms of
:27:35. > :27:40.giving a camera crew full access, in your final season, you went
:27:40. > :27:50.about as far as it is possible to go. I got the first public pap
:27:50. > :27:53.
:27:53. > :28:00.smear and I was have a jazzled. I am have a jazzled right now. Is it
:28:00. > :28:06.uncomfortable. Yes, I got waxed and they put jewels on my jewels.
:28:06. > :28:15.need another sip! I want to empty that glass. Did you get pierced?
:28:15. > :28:19.I am going to leaf little Kathy alone. Or as you call it little
:28:19. > :28:25.Nancy. The glue on. It is like a sticker. From a stick refer the
:28:25. > :28:31.doctor's office after you get a shot. Exactly. I get it. It is the
:28:31. > :28:38.icing on the cake. Exactly. I have done an enema on TV before. See.
:28:38. > :28:45.That was in the wild. I wasn't have a jazzled. Why would you need to
:28:45. > :28:49.have an enema? I was trying to show a British family who got hit by a
:28:49. > :28:55.whale, they were in a liferaft and they were dying of dehydration. The
:28:55. > :29:00.mum was a nurse and the only way she could rehydrate them was to get
:29:00. > :29:08.all of the water, the rain water they had been living off in the
:29:08. > :29:13.bottom of the raft and rehydrate them up their backside so the body
:29:13. > :29:20.could absorb them. I thought I would demo it. That might have been
:29:20. > :29:27.the one I watched. Sh That was the low point of my life. I would
:29:27. > :29:37.prefer to die. I'm Graham Norton kill me now. No, I will die. It's
:29:37. > :29:40.
:29:40. > :29:45.It is fine. The series is over. ass has cancelled myself. I have a
:29:45. > :29:53.great cameraman... LAUGHTER Whenever we do stuff normally at
:29:53. > :29:58.the end of it he goes, "Bear, that's great." But on this one I
:29:58. > :30:08.thought, sometimes you have to think back and think of England,
:30:08. > :30:10.
:30:10. > :30:20.and he goes, "Whoo." Maybe I won't come with you. I'm unemployable.
:30:20. > :30:21.
:30:21. > :30:28.Your book, which we must mention, Bear Grylls, Mud, Sweat and Tears.
:30:28. > :30:34.It has information about a serious injury which spurred you on. I was
:30:34. > :30:39.in the military and I was in the SAS. I had a free-fall parachute
:30:39. > :30:45.accident. The canopy ripped and I was spiralling down. I broke my
:30:45. > :30:49.back in three places and spent the next year strapped up in military
:30:49. > :30:54.rehabilitation back in the UK. People often say you must have been
:30:54. > :31:01.positive to go from that to the top of the world and the Everest climb
:31:01. > :31:06.but it wasn't like that. It was a dark, rocky road where you are
:31:06. > :31:11.trying to get back on your feet. But I was given a second chance and
:31:11. > :31:16.you have just got to go for it. talk about everyday items that can
:31:16. > :31:21.save a life, like shoelaces and paperclips, but apparently you can
:31:21. > :31:27.show us how a sock can save a life. A lot of the reasons you get sick
:31:27. > :31:33.in the wirld is you drink bad water. Clear water isn't necessarily clean
:31:33. > :31:40.water. With a sock you can filter water, or use underpants or a sock.
:31:40. > :31:46.It is not going to taste or smell nice but it is a way to get rid of
:31:46. > :31:56.the back tearia. You have some of the stuff to put in your sock.
:31:56. > :31:57.
:31:57. > :32:04.pot? Have you brought a large knife on set? Any more dick jokes... So...
:32:04. > :32:10.I. Haven't got a sock. I would have changed my socks. We've got sand.
:32:10. > :32:15.Sand's good. You stuff that in it first. That's going to get rid of
:32:15. > :32:22.little bad articles. Charcoal is great for getting rid of back
:32:23. > :32:31.tearia, the really little nasties. And a load of grasses. What do they
:32:31. > :32:41.do? That they take away the bigger nasties. This is a delicacy in many
:32:41. > :32:44.
:32:44. > :32:54.cultures. If I put some charcoal in my wine. I'm choking.
:32:54. > :33:01.Heimlich. Seriously, are you choking? I just breathed water.
:33:01. > :33:07.He saved her life. CHEERING Are you alright? I'm ready to help. If that
:33:07. > :33:15.gets water out of the lungs, fantastic. You were seriously in
:33:15. > :33:25.distress there. No, I was acting. Give her an Oscar. You pour it in.
:33:25. > :33:32.This is like decanting. Be bold. Lots of it. Pour it in.
:33:32. > :33:41.Actually, that is better than when it went in. Shall I drink it to
:33:41. > :33:46.make sure it's OK? CHEERING Any good? Cameron Diaz and my socks.
:33:46. > :33:52.just drink it through a sock. Literally, this is true, I have
:33:52. > :34:00.literally just wrapped season six, from Utah and California yesterday,
:34:00. > :34:10.and these haven't been changed. Those are the same socks! No, man.
:34:10. > :34:15.
:34:15. > :34:19.Wine and cheese. CHEERING In for a penny. In for a pound.
:34:19. > :34:26.Delish. I would like some fromage with that. I like that he puts it
:34:26. > :34:31.back on. APPLAUSE Am I an animal or something!
:34:31. > :34:36.Well, Bear, I would ask you to start a fire at this point, but
:34:36. > :34:43.there is no need, because standing over there is our music act tonight.
:34:43. > :34:53.From the follow-up to their hugely successful debut album, singing
:34:53. > :34:54.
:34:54. > :34:57.# Taking a ride to another climb. # Knees in my back 'cause we're
:34:57. > :35:02.flying high. # Did I give it all?
:35:02. > :35:06.# I guess I gave it all. # Seeing the mountains through the
:35:06. > :35:08.fog. # Watching a film with a talking
:35:08. > :35:18.dog. # Cause if we fall.
:35:18. > :35:19.
:35:19. > :35:29.# I beg you not to fall. # Hawaiian air, Hawaiian air.
:35:29. > :35:31.
:35:31. > :35:34.# Seeing the world down beneath the clouds.
:35:34. > :35:40.# Hawaiian notes, don't need no pounds.
:35:40. > :35:50.# Did I give them all? # I guess I gave them all?
:35:50. > :36:01.
:36:01. > :36:07.# Ache in my leg from a broken seat. # Hawaiian air. Hawaiian air.
:36:07. > :36:17.Touching down, hit the ground # I'm giving you everything
:36:17. > :36:20.
:36:20. > :36:26.# I'm gonna take this all in # Gonna take this all in.
:36:26. > :36:31.# As we land you pinch my hand. # We're still here.
:36:31. > :36:34.# Gonna take this all in. # Up in the sky, Honolulu bound.
:36:34. > :36:38.# Steel guitar and a melly sound. # Did I give it all?
:36:38. > :36:41.# I guess I gave it all. # Feeling the shakes keeps me
:36:41. > :36:50.reticent. # Stuck in my seat from the
:36:50. > :36:54.turbulence. # And if we fall, well then I fall.
:36:54. > :36:58.# Breaking open skies and green earths.
:36:58. > :37:03.# Around them we float. # Deserts in our eyes, we're
:37:03. > :37:13.falling. # Our hearts are not broke.
:37:13. > :37:27.
:37:27. > :37:31.# Hawaiian air, Hawaiian air. # Touching down, hit the ground.
:37:31. > :37:41.# I'm breathing new air. # Gonna take this all in.
:37:41. > :37:42.
:37:42. > :37:51.# As we land, you pinch my hand. # I'm still here.
:37:51. > :37:58.# Gonna take this all in. # As the wheels hit the ground.
:37:58. > :38:08.# I'm breathing. # Gonna take this all in.
:38:08. > :38:08.
:38:08. > :38:15.# As the heat fills my lungs. # I'm breathing.
:38:15. > :38:25.# Gonna take this all in. # Hawaiian air, Hawaiian air.
:38:25. > :38:29.
:38:29. > :38:35.# Hawaiian air, Hawaiian air CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:38:36. > :38:45.Friendly Fires! Come and join us. Beautiful job. Well done. Have a
:38:46. > :38:48.
:38:48. > :38:56.seat. Well done, Sir, have a seat. Come and join us. There they are,
:38:56. > :39:04.Friendly Fires. Hi everyone. Hi. Look, everyone. It's like the olden
:39:04. > :39:09.days. An album! An LP. How retro and cool. Vinyl. If only I had a
:39:09. > :39:15.record player. It does also come in a CD format. This is beautiful. Are
:39:15. > :39:22.you just fans of vinyl? Average fans of parrots and vinyl. Bear's
:39:22. > :39:27.probably eat than at some point. Where has the head gone! It sounds
:39:27. > :39:33.great and you are off to Glastonbury next weekend? Yes.
:39:33. > :39:37.the weather should hold! LAUGHTER Good luck with that.
:39:37. > :39:47.We are nearly out of time but before we go we do have stories in
:39:47. > :39:48.
:39:48. > :39:54.the red chair. Who is up for it? Hello. How's it going, Graham, how
:39:54. > :40:04.are you doing? I'm Andy and I'm from Cork. My mother's from Cork.
:40:04. > :40:09.played someone from Cork. What's your name, I've forgotten. Andy.
:40:09. > :40:15.Andy from Cork. Did you still live there? I do. I'm an jer with the
:40:15. > :40:22.City Council. -- an engineer with the City Council. They do
:40:22. > :40:31.marvellous work. The southern ring road is marvellous. The airport
:40:31. > :40:35.roundabout. It's Leith. Andy, off you go. When I was young I loved
:40:35. > :40:39.watching rodias on TV and we didn't have any horses to practise on so I
:40:39. > :40:45.used the sheep on the farm. My granny wasn't best pleased with
:40:45. > :40:51.this and one day, I had a favourite sheep called Shali and I was going
:40:51. > :40:57.at it and granny was standing by the septic tank, which was 6 foot
:40:57. > :41:04.deep. She was telling me off. The sheep hit her and both of them
:41:04. > :41:11.landed six feet in the scrap. was horrible. You can't put an old
:41:11. > :41:17.lady in shit! She was asking for it. My favourite sheep, Sally. You have
:41:17. > :41:23.to have a favourite in county Cork. I liked watching rodeos so I got on
:41:23. > :41:27.a sheep? Practise with a sheep. we have somebody else in the chair?
:41:27. > :41:33.Hello. Hi, how are you? I'm very well, thank you for asking. What's
:41:34. > :41:40.your name? It is Victor. Where are you from? I'm originally from
:41:40. > :41:46.Ecuador but I live in London. did you do? I work in admin in a
:41:46. > :41:52.financial adviser's company. Hmm. Off you go. Well, I was about nine
:41:52. > :41:55.years old. He was about nine. living in Ecuador. He a girlfriend
:41:55. > :42:02.in school. Sorry? He a girlfriend in school. We had been going out
:42:02. > :42:07.nor a few months. No sciss, just holding hands, all -- no kisses,
:42:07. > :42:13.all very innocent. You were nine! One day our friends tricked us and
:42:13. > :42:16.they told us that we are going to have a game, boys against the girls.
:42:16. > :42:20.Was there a nun with an Alsatian? They all made a circumstance until
:42:20. > :42:26.the middle of the playground and they pushed my grill friend and me
:42:26. > :42:30.into the middle of the circle and started clapping and saying, "Kiss,
:42:30. > :42:36.kiss." Are you going to start crying? It sounds traumatic. So you
:42:36. > :42:43.are in a circle and they are going, "Kiss, kiss." She was getting close
:42:43. > :42:51.to me. I couldn't handle the situation and I wet myself.
:42:51. > :42:57.LAUGHTER Don't do it. Cameron Diaz says you can walk. Walk, Sir. Off
:42:57. > :43:01.you go. You've already suffered enough.
:43:01. > :43:06.Enough humiliation. We shouldn't rub his nose in it. But that would
:43:06. > :43:11.teach him not to do it again. Well done everyone. If you would like to
:43:11. > :43:19.join us on the red chair, apply on our website. Ladies and gentlemen,
:43:19. > :43:25.you join me in thanking my guests tonight, Friendly Fires, Kathy