0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains adult humour
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Would you mind stepping down off your horse, please, sir?
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Every time.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45This your horse, is it, sir?
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Yeah, it is.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49A bit early to be galloping, isn't it, sir?
0:00:49 > 0:00:52I didn't know there was a law against galloping, bruv.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55There isn't...yet.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Mind if I check your saddlebags?
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Go ahead.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Oh, ho, ho, ho!
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Would you care to tell me what this is?
0:01:09 > 0:01:11It's oats, innit?
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Is it? Really?
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Can I go now, officer?
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Oi! Yo! My man.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Why don't you leave the brother alone, innit!
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Just leave the brother alone. He done well for himself.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31- He's got nice whip.- Yeah, man.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Just let the man pass.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Babylon wickedness!
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Babylon wickedness!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Would you excuse me for a minute, sir?
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Babylon what?
0:01:45 > 0:01:49What? I never said nothing, bruv. Weren't me.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56I can't even speak, you know, bruv.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Would you like to step down off the horse, please, sir?
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Ah, every time!
0:02:07 > 0:02:09And now, ladies and gentlemen,
0:02:09 > 0:02:13brethren, lady brethren and the pickney dem,
0:02:13 > 0:02:18will you please welcome your host for this evening's bare madnesses!
0:02:18 > 0:02:21He's the face of probiotic contraceptive yoghurt drink
0:02:21 > 0:02:26in three quarters of Southeast Asia and now Anglesey.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29It's Javone Prince!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Yep, whoo! Get ready for this!
0:02:56 > 0:02:57You sit down!
0:03:12 > 0:03:14What?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Please, please, please, please...
0:03:17 > 0:03:19keep on clapping, innit.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Keep on clapping.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Enjoy this!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Celebrate this!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Enjoy me!
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Enjoy yourself enjoying me!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Damn, I'm fine, innit?
0:03:32 > 0:03:36I wish I was you watching me right now cos fine I am. Mmm.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38This guy's a joke, you know.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42I've had funnier shits than this guy.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Why's his head so big?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Is that your man?
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Wow.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50He looks like a embryo.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53I feel sorry for his mum.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Must have been one awkward delivery.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00Mmm, hashtag embryo.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03BOTH: Waste man.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05That's getting tweeted right now.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Do it.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12We got a nice show for you this evening, ladies and gentlemen.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14We've got sketches!
0:04:15 > 0:04:17We've got Omar and the band.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Are you going to do the ting for us?
0:04:23 > 0:04:27HE SCATS
0:04:27 > 0:04:30# There's nothing like this
0:04:30 > 0:04:32# Not even remotely. #
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Are you going to...?
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Are you going to do that for them?
0:04:39 > 0:04:40No.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Omar! Omar, ladies and gentlemen.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Erm, we've got a funny show for you this evening.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54We've got music from the sensational Mica Paris!
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Yeah, I said it. Mica Paris! Right here with them.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Mica Paris, ladies and gentlemen,
0:05:00 > 0:05:02in the his-house!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05She is going to be so irie!
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I can't believe I have to work with this guy.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- Selektah!- OK, what are you doing?
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Hold tight for the mash up!
0:05:13 > 0:05:16OK, why are you saying these things?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Er, I'm just... I'm just chatting on the mic.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Er, I believe they call it, er, "maccing".
0:05:20 > 0:05:23- You mean mc-ing?- Yes, rudeboy!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Erm, just a few things about this evening.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29I thought that I would try a little bit of jive talk.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Nothing to worry about, just a soupcon of jive.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Don't worry, the audience at home are going to love this.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- I beg you don't, bruv. - I beg you don't, bruv.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- What?- What? - What?- What?
0:05:40 > 0:05:42- What, bruv?- What, bruv?- What?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44What? I'm sorry, are we...? Is this jive talk?
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Are we jive talking right now? Are we in deep jive?
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Because I've got to say, if we are, this is some of the deepest jive
0:05:51 > 0:05:55I've ever been in, and quite frankly, er, me like it, bruv.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58APPLAUSE
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Don't clap him!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Sit down and shut up!
0:06:08 > 0:06:11# Honey, I'm still free
0:06:11 > 0:06:13# Take a chance on me
0:06:13 > 0:06:15- # If you need me - Let me know!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17# Going to be around
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- # If you've got no - Place to go
0:06:20 > 0:06:22# When you're feeling down
0:06:23 > 0:06:25# When you're all alone
0:06:25 > 0:06:28# And the pretty birds have flown
0:06:28 > 0:06:30# Honey, I'm still free. #
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Yo, yo, yo! Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!
0:06:34 > 0:06:39RAP MUSIC PLAYS
0:06:39 > 0:06:44THEY GRUNT
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Yo, yo, they gone, they gone, they gone.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52# If you change your mind
0:06:52 > 0:06:54# I'm the first in line
0:06:54 > 0:06:56# Honey, I'm still free
0:06:56 > 0:06:58# Take a chance on me. #
0:06:58 > 0:06:59You've gotta get used to it
0:06:59 > 0:07:03- if you're going to sign up with this guy, I guess.- Shut up.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Good manners are standard though and I like it.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09OK, well, find me a comic where Peter Parker uses a skateboard,
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- cos I don't buy it.- Touche.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Well, it sounds crazy, but I kind of really believe in karma, you know.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16- No, I actually do. - Do you?- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18A lot of people, you know, think that's stupid,
0:07:18 > 0:07:22but I...you know, there's a lot in it for me. Hmm. Yeah.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24- Excuse me?- Oh, God. Just keep walking.- Excuse me.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Just keep walking. We haven't got any cash, mate.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29- We haven't got any phones. - Your wallet.- Mmm.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- We actually don't, erm, own wallets. - No money here.- No.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- Look, you dropped your wallet. - Your wallet, mate.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Right. Yeah. Wallet, OK.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Well.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Oh, my days doh. Bros.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58What's going on here? I'm always doin' this!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Oh, I am not even going to check in dis cos I know
0:08:01 > 0:08:05all of da money, yeah, all the dollars is in here.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Erm, I mean, there's probably more in there actually now.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11- I bet. I bet there is!- No doubt.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Ah, man's always dropping his wallet, you know,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- I'm just like, done it again. - Oh, silly.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Every day there's, "Ah, better pick that up now," yeah?
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Mmm. Taking da lift down. All right.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Having a little twerk. No problem.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Ah! Me want to apologise for me boyfriend.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31He's a very clumsy boy.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Not actually me boyfriend, we been...
0:08:34 > 0:08:36We been on a couple of dates. Been going really we...
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Shut your mouth, woman!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Bitch's always been trippin' for.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43BOTH: Wow.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49'Black people. Making white people anxious since 1948.'
0:08:53 > 0:08:55- Yah.- Yah?
0:08:55 > 0:08:56- Yah.- Yah?
0:08:56 > 0:08:58- Yah.- Yah.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00..batteries in the refrigerator. That's how you get power.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Put the batteries in the refrigerator.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04That's what charges them.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08No...way.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13No...way.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29What are you doing back here?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31I mean, why are you here?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33I mean, isn't it obvious?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35I'm here for you.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37I came back...for you.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Hi.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Like, what's going on?
0:09:43 > 0:09:45How are you doing? How are you doing?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Giles, I... - Look, look. No, Cookie. No!
0:09:48 > 0:09:52And you, bro, you knew me and Cookie were together, bro.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54I'm sorry, I, I didn't know, bro. I didn't know.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Er, actually, Dante, you did know, because I told you.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00So, you're lying.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Bro, bro, like, no-one even wants you here, bro.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07You're actually pissing me off, bro! Bro, bro, I'm this close, bro.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08He's very close.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12Just take your trolley and get the hell out of here, man.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Look, tell him, bro!
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Dante, I think you should leave.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19What do you want me to do, Cookie?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22What do you want me to do, Cooks?
0:10:22 > 0:10:27MUSIC: Gunshot by Lykke Li
0:10:43 > 0:10:49Yes, brother. Um, can I get a stew chicken with rice?
0:10:49 > 0:10:52And can I have a punch, please, me brother?
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Do you know what, make that a Guinness punch, please.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59HE MUMBLES
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, seen.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14HE MUMBLES
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Erm, yeah, man. Um, just, er...
0:11:22 > 0:11:24What are you talk 'bout?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26HE MUMBLES
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Me ask you a simple question.
0:11:27 > 0:11:32HE MUMBLES
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Fam.
0:11:44 > 0:11:50HE MUMBLES
0:11:52 > 0:11:55'The Rastaman would like to know if you'd like a spoon or a fork
0:11:55 > 0:11:57'with your takeaway.'
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Yeah, erm, a spoon, obviously.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05It's a... I'll have a spoon, please? A spoon.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09'The Rasta translator app.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13'For those moments when you're not quite black enough.'
0:12:13 > 0:12:15So, why don't you want to sign up for charity for?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- No, thank you.- Excuse me.- Why won't you sign up for charity for?
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- I'm fine, thanks.- Excuse me.- Why won't you sign up for charity for? - Not today.- Excuse me.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26- Hello?! I am talking to you.- I'm a little bit busy.- Why won't you sign up for charity for?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- Excuse me?- No, thank you.- Why won't you sign up for charity for? - Excuse me.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Does charity hurt you? - Why won't you sign up for charity? - Just £2 a month.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- I've got to get... - Just £4 a month.- Just £12 a month.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Just £40 a month. - Just £80 a month.- No.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Think of the children. Why you hatin' on sick children? - Why would you do that for?
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Why are you without compassion? - Why are you not empathetical?- No.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45What has happened in your life that you're hating on charity so much?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Why don't you want the sick children that ain't got no legs
0:12:48 > 0:12:50to get some new legs?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Why don't you want the village that ain't got no clean water
0:12:52 > 0:12:55to get a special machine so that they can get clean water
0:12:55 > 0:12:57so their old women don't get things in their eyes which means
0:12:57 > 0:13:00they can't see and trip over the legs that the children ain't got?
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Actually, what I object to is people like you harassing me,
0:13:02 > 0:13:06bullying me and using every guilt trip in the book to get me
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- to try and get me to sign up for your charity!- Excuse me?!
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Why are you makin' it personal for?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13There's no need to make it personal though, is there?
0:13:13 > 0:13:17I mean, why would you do that? Are you heartless?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Do you not have a heart? Do you enjoy suffering?
0:13:19 > 0:13:24- Do you enjoy seeing people suffer? - Yes, I do. And, no, I don't.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27OK, which is it? Cos you need to make up your mind.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Cos while you're standing there, being indecisive, people are dying.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Yes, I do have a heart. And, no, I don't like seeing people suffer!
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- Well, then sign up. - Just sign up, innit!
0:13:35 > 0:13:37And with Direct Debit, nothing could be easier.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- You won't even notice it going out of your account.- Whoosh!
0:13:41 > 0:13:45All right, I'll sign up. Have you got a pen?
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Oh! There we go! Up yours!
0:13:53 > 0:13:54- OK.- OK.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Why is he dressed as a woman for?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59My man's on a Grayson Perry ting, you know?
0:13:59 > 0:14:04Come like Eddie Izzard. If you're going to dress like girl, fine.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08- But dress like... - BOTH: Decent girl.- Innit?
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Like Lily Savage.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Mmm, I like Lily Savage, still.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15But he went back to man.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18That's where he went wrong, innit?
0:14:19 > 0:14:25Paul O'Grady, you was fitter as woman.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28That's getting tweeted right now.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Do it.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Ah!
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Ah! Ah!
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Ah!
0:15:23 > 0:15:26You know those children who ain't got no legs?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29They'd love to be able to run like you.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Thank you!- Ah, thank you so much!
0:15:40 > 0:15:42BOTH: Dickhead!
0:15:49 > 0:15:53So, here's the thing, you know, when we were writing this show,
0:15:53 > 0:15:55we were sitting around talking about experiences we had
0:15:55 > 0:15:58as young black men growing up and the things we went through.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00And believe me when I tell you,
0:16:00 > 0:16:03everyone in the room had the next thing happen to them.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Man ain't lying. No lie.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16Bruv, when the fartin' starts, you know what time it is...
0:16:16 > 0:16:18It's Chico time.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Bruv, I was outta there like Bolt, like...
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Bruv, I just remember you face like this...
0:16:25 > 0:16:27I remember my face looked like...
0:16:39 > 0:16:43Hey, bros. Erm, sorry to interrupt all the fantastic banter.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- Yeah, some really great stuff.- Yeah.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50Yeah, but I was wondering if you could, erm, maybe sort us out
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- with a bit of, uh, you know... - HE WHISTLES
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- Could you?- A bit of what?
0:16:55 > 0:16:59- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, a bit of whatever you've got.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01And what have we got?
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Oh, I don't know. I don't...
0:17:03 > 0:17:06I imagine you've got the lot.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- We would just be really appreciative. - Mmm.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09We just want to get...
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- THEY SING IN HIGH NOTE: High! - Oh, so high!
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- This guy!- You guy!
0:17:18 > 0:17:20'White people.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24'Consistently mistaking black people for drug dealers since 1948.'
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Crazy! Crazy!
0:17:30 > 0:17:35Hands up if that's ever happened to you. Like, a show of hands.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Almost all the men in the room.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39What's he going on about? That ain't never happened to me.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42That ain't ever 'appened to me either.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Do you think it's cos we never get invited to parties?
0:17:46 > 0:17:50I like that it's just you and me together.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Forever.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Don't tweet that.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Hey, Omar. Omar. You ever been at a party and that happened to you?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Some guy comes up to you and they're like,
0:18:02 > 0:18:04"Excuse me, can you sort me out a bit of a..."
0:18:04 > 0:18:06And you're like... And they're like,
0:18:06 > 0:18:09"Excuse me, can you sort me out with a little bit of a..."
0:18:09 > 0:18:10And you're like...
0:18:10 > 0:18:13"Please, dude, just sort me out with a little bit of a thing."
0:18:13 > 0:18:15And you're like, "What?"
0:18:15 > 0:18:16Yeah, has that happened to you?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Just get on with the show, bruv.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25- Yeah, yeah.- Be professional. - Yeah, yeah.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Haven't got time.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Omar, ladies and gentlemen!
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I love that guy.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Darling, darling, darling.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Change of scenery needed.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Look at all this concrete.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52It's so brutal.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53One needs to get away from all of this.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Yeah, bro, like the vibes in London are like so bad, bro.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Yeah, I don't know about you guys,
0:18:59 > 0:19:02but I could actually do with a little chill.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Oh, my gosh!
0:19:04 > 0:19:06- Are you sure? Cos I spoke to... - Hey, babe!
0:19:06 > 0:19:08No! No, Giles!
0:19:09 > 0:19:11I've heard everything!
0:19:12 > 0:19:15MUSIC: Gunshot by Lykke Li
0:19:17 > 0:19:19She knows about you and big Shirley, bro.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21You might as well come clean.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25But, but, but, but, but, but... Look, babe...
0:19:25 > 0:19:28I can't believe you! You make me sick!
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Uh!
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- What are you doing, bro?- Sorry.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01What are you talking about? Chris!
0:20:01 > 0:20:05- THEY CHANT:- Go Chris!
0:20:05 > 0:20:06# She take my money... #
0:20:06 > 0:20:08ALL: Oh!
0:20:08 > 0:20:10# When I'm in need
0:20:10 > 0:20:14# She's a trifling friend indeed
0:20:14 > 0:20:18# Oh, she's a gold-digger, way over town
0:20:18 > 0:20:20# That digs on me
0:20:20 > 0:20:23# Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
0:20:23 > 0:20:25# Now, I ain't saying she a gold-digger
0:20:25 > 0:20:28# But she ain't messing with no broke nig... #
0:20:39 > 0:20:43'White people. Being unsure about saying the "N" word in songs
0:20:43 > 0:20:45'since 1948.'
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Sorry.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56New! Out now! Professor Foglife presents...
0:20:59 > 0:21:01With all your favourite wasteband MCs.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05We've got the Hood Jogger, Man Like, Thuggy Weightloss!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07# Hashtag weightloss Don't get me pissed cos
0:21:07 > 0:21:09# Hashtag weightloss Don't get me pissed cos
0:21:09 > 0:21:11# Hashtag waist, don't get me pissed
0:21:11 > 0:21:13# Hashtag waist, don't get me pissed. #
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Yes, yes. You're done now!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17And we've exclusive dub play from the Boobyman!
0:21:17 > 0:21:19# Are you stupid, fam got tits and ting
0:21:19 > 0:21:21# Boobyman got tits and ting
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Boobyman got tits and ting
0:21:23 > 0:21:25# Boobyman Tits n ting
0:21:25 > 0:21:26# Boobyman. #
0:21:26 > 0:21:28He's still lactating. That's how hype it is.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32And for you discerning gentlemen, we got Random White Girl MC.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34# All day in my tracksuit, sneakers
0:21:34 > 0:21:36# Listen to my words
0:21:36 > 0:21:37# Yeah, I'm your teacher... #
0:21:37 > 0:21:40SHE MUMBLES
0:21:40 > 0:21:42What is she saying?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Nobody, nobody, nobody knows.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48With a man like MC Whistler!
0:21:48 > 0:21:55THEY WHISTLE
0:21:55 > 0:21:58That's going to stay in your head for days. Trust me!
0:21:58 > 0:22:03Ittsssss... Professor Foglife brings to you...
0:22:06 > 0:22:08So, all you middle class white kids, go out and cop this now!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- Cheese on my toast, cheese on my toast!- Like that.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- Cheese on my toast, cheese on my toast!- Eat that.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- Cheese on my toast, cheese on my toast!- Eat that.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Cheese on my toast, cheese on my toast!- Have that.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19- Cheese on my toast, cheese on my toast!- Do that!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Cheese on my toast, cheese on my toast!- Do that!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Me, me, me, me, ner ner ner.
0:22:28 > 0:22:33Mmm. Oh. Cava.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36That's French for champagne.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Speaking of which, it's that time in the show
0:22:40 > 0:22:42where I get to listen to some of my favourite music.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Please, please show some love for an incredible lady.
0:22:46 > 0:22:53Ha, it's the first lady of British soul, it's Mica Paris! Amazing!
0:23:03 > 0:23:05# Love, love, love, love, love
0:23:07 > 0:23:10# Love, love, love, love, love
0:23:11 > 0:23:16# Ooh, ooh, love, love, love, love love
0:23:16 > 0:23:20# Love, love, love, love, love
0:23:23 > 0:23:29# I should've known better
0:23:31 > 0:23:39# Oh, oh, I should've known better
0:23:40 > 0:23:43# I think it's time
0:23:44 > 0:23:48# You give some people some time
0:23:48 > 0:23:50# Yes
0:23:50 > 0:23:54# Show a little peace of mind
0:23:54 > 0:23:59# So many lost people to be found
0:24:00 > 0:24:02# All we need
0:24:02 > 0:24:06# All we need, yeah
0:24:06 > 0:24:09# Is a helping hand
0:24:09 > 0:24:12# Show love
0:24:12 > 0:24:15# Give me time, ooh
0:24:15 > 0:24:20# Show me how you feel, yeah
0:24:24 > 0:24:27# Should have known better
0:24:29 > 0:24:31# Oh, I
0:24:31 > 0:24:35# Doo, boo, boo, boo, boo, yeah
0:24:35 > 0:24:37# Should've known
0:24:39 > 0:24:41# Take it away
0:24:41 > 0:24:44# Hey
0:24:45 > 0:24:49# Ooh, ooh, whoo
0:24:49 > 0:24:52# You, I need you
0:24:52 > 0:24:55# Ah
0:24:55 > 0:24:57# I said, baby
0:24:59 > 0:25:01# Don't you know?
0:25:01 > 0:25:04# I should've known better
0:25:04 > 0:25:08# To fall in love with you
0:25:08 > 0:25:10# Baby, you look so good
0:25:10 > 0:25:11# You look so good
0:25:12 > 0:25:15# You taste so nice
0:25:15 > 0:25:20# Oh, got to get together, don't you know that
0:25:20 > 0:25:21# So, boo, boo, boo, bee
0:25:23 > 0:25:24# Baby, don't you know?
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- # Should have known better - Hey
0:25:27 > 0:25:31# Doo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo
0:25:31 > 0:25:34# Yeah
0:25:34 > 0:25:37# Should have known better
0:25:37 > 0:25:40# Got to get together with you
0:25:40 > 0:25:43- # I should have known better - Just don't know where
0:25:43 > 0:25:45# Give a little love
0:25:45 > 0:25:46# Give a little time
0:25:46 > 0:25:49# Show your feelings to one another
0:25:49 > 0:25:51# Give a little love
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- # I should have known better - Give a little peace
0:25:56 > 0:25:58# Show your feeling to one another
0:25:58 > 0:26:01# Ow Baby! #
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Mica Paris, everybody!
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Give it up! Amazing!
0:26:12 > 0:26:14What an amazing voice! Thank you.
0:26:17 > 0:26:18- Mica!- As a thank you,
0:26:18 > 0:26:21please accept this probiotic contraceptive yoghurt drink.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22Oh...
0:26:22 > 0:26:25And if I could just have a picture for the sponsors.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Thank you every so much.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Yes. Oh, that's beautiful. Put her leg a bit higher.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Lovely. Thank you, Mica.
0:26:33 > 0:26:38Would you...? I can give you some more time if you'd like?
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Erm, would you like to sit down? I'm practising my jive talk.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43So, that's it. We're out of time.
0:26:43 > 0:26:48I know. If you've had a good time, my name's Javone Prince.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50If you haven't, it's his fault.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53And I don't know what I've done to upset this guy?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Are we cool?
0:26:58 > 0:26:59My mum's here, bruv.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03She's been watching this show. Don't be like that, bruv.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07OK, Omar, ladies and gentlemen.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10CHEERING
0:27:11 > 0:27:14- I love that guy.- Whoo! - Love that.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18So, you know what time it is? Before we go, it's Candy time.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21MUSIC: Candy by Cameo
0:27:21 > 0:27:24See. Come on, people, don't be scared.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30There we go! Yeah!
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Yeah, see you next week. Peace.