0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language
0:00:07 > 0:00:09FUNKY MUSIC
0:00:09 > 0:00:13And now, ladies and gentlemen, brethren, lady brethren
0:00:13 > 0:00:17and the pickney dem, will you please welcome your host
0:00:17 > 0:00:20for this evening's bare madnesses,
0:00:20 > 0:00:23he's the face of Premium Drinkable Cheese
0:00:23 > 0:00:25in Utrecht, Gdansk,
0:00:25 > 0:00:29and now 65% of Chorlton-cum-Hardy,
0:00:29 > 0:00:33it's Javone Prince!
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Oh, my God!
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Yeah!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Darling.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40CHEERING
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Argh!
0:01:02 > 0:01:03FUNKY DISCO MUSIC
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Oh!
0:01:19 > 0:01:20Argh!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22What?!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Yes! Come on! Come on!
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Welcome to the Javone Prince Show!
0:01:29 > 0:01:30CHEERING
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Whoo! We've got it all going on this evening.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37We've got sketches, we've got live music, we've got...
0:01:37 > 0:01:39You've got me! Ha.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Unfortunately, we've got him.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45Ah-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha! Yes. Very strong banter.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48I'm looking forward to some more of that this evening.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Banter?
0:01:49 > 0:01:50Banter.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- Banter?- Banter.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- Banter, yeah? - Banter!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57We've got the house band.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00CHEERING
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Led by none other than the Godfather of British Neo Soul,
0:02:04 > 0:02:06it's Omar!
0:02:06 > 0:02:08- Omar! - CHEERING
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Yeah! Yo, Mar.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I said, yo, Yo-mar!
0:02:14 > 0:02:15LAUGHTER
0:02:15 > 0:02:17You like it? You see what I've done?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20I've put the 'yo' and the 'mar' together.
0:02:20 > 0:02:21You get Yo-mar!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25You like it?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27No, it's shit.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Ha-ha, I like, I like... Banter. It's good banter.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Omar, ladies and gentlemen!
0:02:37 > 0:02:38CHEERING
0:02:38 > 0:02:40I love that guy!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Not getting much love back.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Have you ever...
0:02:45 > 0:02:51I said, have you ever felt-a, like you're hurtin' inside?
0:02:52 > 0:02:56And there's a pain... Oh! Argh!
0:02:56 > 0:02:58So deep inside!
0:02:58 > 0:03:02But this pain will not-a go away.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06# Yeah, will not, will not Will not go away
0:03:06 > 0:03:10# Yeah! Will not, will not Will not go away
0:03:10 > 0:03:13# Oh! Will not, will not Will not go away, hey! #
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Then!
0:03:15 > 0:03:18My children, let me tell you,
0:03:18 > 0:03:25you are very probably the vict-a-tim of a case of medical negligence-a!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Oh! Argh!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29I said...
0:03:29 > 0:03:31# Medical
0:03:31 > 0:03:35# Neglige-en-en...
0:03:35 > 0:03:39# en-en-ence-a! #
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Oo-ah!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45But do not fear!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Oh, no...
0:03:47 > 0:03:51because The Reverend
0:03:51 > 0:03:56'No Win, No Fee' is here...
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- # Yeah! No win, no fee - No win, no fee
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- # No win, no fee - No win, no fee
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- # No win, no fee - No win, no fee
0:04:03 > 0:04:05- # No win, no fee - # No win, no fee. #
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Come on!
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- # No win, no fee - No win, no fee
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- # No win, no fee - No win, no fee. #
0:04:10 > 0:04:12What's your name child?
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Alistair.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Al-is-tair.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Such a beautiful name.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20# Such a beautiful name!
0:04:20 > 0:04:22# Al-is-tair! #
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Thank you.
0:04:23 > 0:04:31And, Alistair, tell the Good Reverend what happened to you.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Well, I went in for a routine back operation, and...
0:04:34 > 0:04:38# He went under the kni-i-i-f-fe. #
0:04:40 > 0:04:44And er, afterwards I had a nagging kind of pain...
0:04:44 > 0:04:47He was feeling the pain! Hmm!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49And I had a sort of swelling.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52He was in a state of swellification!
0:04:52 > 0:04:53Oh!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55It was not his fault.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00I said, it was not-a his fault!
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Mmm!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05There was no cul-pa-bility on his part.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08# No culp-ab-ili-ty. #
0:05:08 > 0:05:13I said there was no culpability on his part-a!
0:05:13 > 0:05:17# No culp-ab-ili-ty. #
0:05:17 > 0:05:20I said there was no culpability on his part-a!
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Oh, right.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25And, people, let me tell you -
0:05:25 > 0:05:27this surgeon, under close,
0:05:27 > 0:05:30close examination...
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Yeah, yeah!
0:05:31 > 0:05:38This healer had gone and left a swab inside of this man.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42# Left a swab inside of yo-oou! Left a swab inside of you!
0:05:42 > 0:05:45# Left a swab inside of you! Left a swab inside of you!
0:05:45 > 0:05:47# And maybe a scalpel too. #
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Actually it was just a swab.
0:05:49 > 0:05:54And this act of gross medical negligence...
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Mmm.
0:05:55 > 0:06:02..I secured this man the sum of £12,500!
0:06:02 > 0:06:08# That is a bi-i-i-i-ig pounds money. #
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Which, er, after all of your expenses
0:06:10 > 0:06:13and costs had been deduced came to £900.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Shut your mouth, child!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17# Shut your mouth Shut your mouth
0:06:17 > 0:06:23# Before I leave my foot up in your ass...
0:06:23 > 0:06:25# Brother. #
0:06:25 > 0:06:26- # No win, no fee - No win, no fee
0:06:26 > 0:06:28- # No win, no fee - No win, no fee
0:06:28 > 0:06:30- # No win, no fee - No win, no fee. #
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Now go!
0:06:32 > 0:06:37And have yourself the accident-a you deserve!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39- # Come see me - No win, no fee
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- # Call toll free - No win, no fee
0:06:41 > 0:06:42- # Come see me - No win, no fee. #
0:06:42 > 0:06:46ALL: Go, Ja-vone! Go, Ja-vone!
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Go, Ja-vone! Go, Ja-vone!
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Go, Ja-vone! Go, Ja-vone!
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Go, Ja-vone! Go, Ja-vone!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Go, Ja-vone!
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Yeah!
0:06:59 > 0:07:00CHEERING
0:07:00 > 0:07:02MUSIC: Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson
0:07:04 > 0:07:06# Don't believe me, just watch! #
0:07:06 > 0:07:08'Black people...
0:07:08 > 0:07:13'Being expected to start the dancing at house parties since 1948.'
0:07:15 > 0:07:17APPLAUSE
0:07:17 > 0:07:21I growed up knowing I was different.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26I remember being a child,
0:07:26 > 0:07:28walking into my parents bedroom.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31My father was in there with my aunt.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34She was clearly in some distress.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37He was tending to her whilst repeating the phrase,
0:07:37 > 0:07:39"I'm working my magic,
0:07:39 > 0:07:41"I'm working my magic."
0:07:41 > 0:07:45My aunt was not a religious woman, but I heard her scream,
0:07:45 > 0:07:47"Jesus, I'm coming!"
0:07:47 > 0:07:50It was only when I shouted, "Praise the Lord!"
0:07:50 > 0:07:52that my presence was noted,
0:07:52 > 0:07:54and my father uttered four words
0:07:54 > 0:07:58that would change the course of my life forever.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00"Will you fucking disappear?!"
0:08:02 > 0:08:06I knew then that magic was my calling.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09HE INHALES
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Africa-dabra!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26What is your name, Earthling?
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Uh, John.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33And what is your calling...
0:08:33 > 0:08:34John?
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Er... postman.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41John The Deliverer.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Yeah, I guess you could call it... - Silence!
0:08:44 > 0:08:49Are you a father, John The Deliverer?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Er, yeah, I've got two little boys - Ryan and Charlie.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Good.- Yeah. - Give me your phone.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58Hurry!
0:09:00 > 0:09:08I want you to focus all your energy on the bag, Father John.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09Look at me!
0:09:13 > 0:09:14Africa-dabra-sah!
0:09:19 > 0:09:24PHONE RINGS
0:09:24 > 0:09:25That's my phone!
0:09:25 > 0:09:26That's my phone!
0:09:29 > 0:09:31That's my phone!
0:09:31 > 0:09:33That's Ryan and Charlie!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35How did you do that?
0:09:35 > 0:09:37How did he do that?!
0:09:37 > 0:09:39That's my phone!
0:09:42 > 0:09:45That was amazing! I've never seen anything like it.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I mean, I had to pay 200 quid to get my phone back,
0:09:48 > 0:09:50it was worth it, though.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51I thought my phone was in here!
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Oh, God! That's... Dear me...
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Africa-dabra!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00APPLAUSE
0:10:03 > 0:10:05So here's the thing...
0:10:05 > 0:10:07We'll be out and about filming the sketches
0:10:07 > 0:10:10and normally the general public will be, you know, really polite,
0:10:10 > 0:10:12seeing what you're doing. Very quiet.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Might give you a round of applause
0:10:14 > 0:10:16after you've finished, like, "That was very good."
0:10:16 > 0:10:17Walk off.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20That's white people. Very nice.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21LAUGHTER
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Black people, on the other hand...
0:10:23 > 0:10:25- LAUGHTER - Now, you could be in the middle
0:10:25 > 0:10:27of a really - and this has happened to me -
0:10:27 > 0:10:29a really dramatic scene and all you hear is,
0:10:29 > 0:10:31"Ya ay, ya ay, yo!
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- "Brother, know you, innit!" - LAUGHTER
0:10:33 > 0:10:35"Excuse me, I'm just in the middle of a scene."
0:10:35 > 0:10:37"Now what was you in, innit? You was in that ting, innit?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39It's like, "I'm actually...
0:10:39 > 0:10:41"Can I talk to you after I've finished film...?"
0:10:41 > 0:10:42"Shush, innit, I'm trying to think, bruv!"
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- LAUGHTER - "Innit. What was you, innit?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47"Yeah, bruv! You was in that show, innit?!
0:10:47 > 0:10:49"That was my show. I liked that show, bruv!
0:10:49 > 0:10:50"You was in that show, yeah!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52"You was shit, bruv."
0:10:52 > 0:10:54LAUGHTER
0:10:54 > 0:10:55"Don't act, innit."
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I knew I'd seen him before.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58He was in that ting, innit?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01That's right, he was in that show, innit!
0:11:01 > 0:11:02- BOTH:- He was shit!
0:11:04 > 0:11:06"You were shit then
0:11:06 > 0:11:09"and you are even shitter now.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11"Please, I beg of you,
0:11:11 > 0:11:15"do something else with your life and don't act.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18"Hashtag you sicken me."
0:11:18 > 0:11:21"Hashtag constructive criticism.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22"Learn from it."
0:11:23 > 0:11:26If you want brutal honesty,
0:11:26 > 0:11:27ask a black person.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28LAUGHTER
0:11:28 > 0:11:30If you don't want brutal honesty,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- don't ask a black person. - LAUGHTER
0:11:33 > 0:11:34But they're going to tell you anyway.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36LAUGHTER
0:11:36 > 0:11:39BEATBOXING
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Following on from an incredible live performance
0:11:46 > 0:11:50at the Words Among The Turds Spoken Words Festival...
0:11:50 > 0:11:55with a devastating new dispatch
0:11:55 > 0:12:00from the front line of political consciousness...
0:12:00 > 0:12:03please, give it up for...
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Dr Afrika, Consciousness X,
0:12:07 > 0:12:09IllumiNigel and...
0:12:09 > 0:12:12their very special guest,
0:12:12 > 0:12:16all the way from the Home Counties...
0:12:16 > 0:12:17Katanga Johnson.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- IN JAMAICAN ACCENT:- Hip-postles!
0:12:25 > 0:12:29You're about to witness the strength of street knowledge.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Dash me a word up!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Police oppression!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Police oppression.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Yeah, man. G'wan!
0:12:41 > 0:12:43SHE RAPS: # Rapping at cops on the picket line
0:12:43 > 0:12:46# You do nothing whilst I opine
0:12:46 > 0:12:48# Me no eat no pork SNORTING
0:12:48 > 0:12:51# Me no eat no swine
0:12:51 > 0:12:53# To all da peoples that think it's fine,
0:12:53 > 0:12:55# It's not!
0:12:55 > 0:12:57# Babylonia, grabbin' hold of ya
0:12:57 > 0:13:00# Beatin' me down
0:13:00 > 0:13:02# But me never frown
0:13:02 > 0:13:04# My parents are friends with Gordon Brown
0:13:04 > 0:13:05LAUGHTER
0:13:05 > 0:13:07# So get off me, copper
0:13:07 > 0:13:08# Get off me, pig!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10# This bitch ain't for turnin'
0:13:10 > 0:13:11# Yeah? You dig? #
0:13:13 > 0:13:15MUFFLED LAUGHTER
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Africa!
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- THEY CHANT:- Ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa!
0:13:20 > 0:13:22- LAUGHTER - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa!
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa!
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa! Ooh, ooh, ooh...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Excuse me, sorry. THEY CONTINUE TO CHANT
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...
0:13:30 > 0:13:31- Wow!- ..Africa.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Er, Katanga Johnson,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37the original lyrical terrorist.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39And remember, that the official
0:13:39 > 0:13:44Dr Afrika Truth Bomb jerk seasoning...
0:13:44 > 0:13:49is now available in selected garages and garden centres
0:13:49 > 0:13:50across the country.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52- And bus stops! - LAUGHTER
0:13:52 > 0:13:54And bus stops. Thank you, IllumiNigel.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55The Black Man Group.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Excuse me, guys,
0:13:59 > 0:14:01I'm just coming back through. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Excuse me.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06- THEY CHANT:- Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk!
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- ALL:- Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11MUSIC: Billie Jean by Michael Jackson
0:14:11 > 0:14:13THEY CONTINUE TO CHANT
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- ALL:- Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk!
0:14:16 > 0:14:20- ALL:- Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk!
0:14:27 > 0:14:31- ALL:- Whoo!
0:14:31 > 0:14:34CHEERING
0:14:36 > 0:14:39NARRATOR: 'Black people - being asked to start the moonwalk
0:14:39 > 0:14:42'at house parties since 1984.'
0:14:42 > 0:14:44LAUGHTER
0:14:44 > 0:14:46APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:14:51 > 0:14:53UPBEAT MUSIC
0:14:53 > 0:14:54LAUGHTER
0:14:54 > 0:14:57FARTING
0:14:57 > 0:14:58LOUD FART
0:14:58 > 0:15:01LAUGHTER, FARTING CONTINUES
0:15:01 > 0:15:04LOUD FART, LAUGHTER
0:15:04 > 0:15:08LONG FART
0:15:08 > 0:15:10LAUGHTER
0:15:10 > 0:15:11OTHER FARTS
0:15:11 > 0:15:12LAUGHTER
0:15:12 > 0:15:14CANS FIZZ
0:15:14 > 0:15:16UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS
0:15:19 > 0:15:21THEY FART TO THE MUSIC
0:15:21 > 0:15:23LAUGHTER
0:15:29 > 0:15:31LAUGHTER
0:15:31 > 0:15:32SQUELCHING
0:15:32 > 0:15:35- IN FOREIGN ACCENT:- Farty Man, the party extra workout drink!
0:15:35 > 0:15:36- LAUGHTER - Drink-a now!
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Mmm! Yum! Only available in mail order.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40LAUGHTER
0:15:40 > 0:15:42APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:15:42 > 0:15:45You're watching the Javone Prince Show,
0:15:45 > 0:15:47with me, Javone Prince.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Sponsored by Horganzair,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54the drinkable cheese that doesn't give night-time gas.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58LAUGHTER Drink the cheese, eat the cup.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02Coming up, sketches, music and live dancing,
0:16:02 > 0:16:04but first...
0:16:04 > 0:16:07sketches! QUIET LAUGHTER
0:16:07 > 0:16:09- Mm! - LAUGHTER
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Africa-dabra!
0:16:14 > 0:16:15LAUGHTER
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Ah, ah!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22HE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:16:26 > 0:16:30What do they call you, Earthling?
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Er, Maria.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33- Maria?- Yeah.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35And what is your calling, Maria?
0:16:36 > 0:16:37I'm a childminder.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Tell me, Maria. Do you have children of your own?
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Oh, yeah, I've got three, but they've all grown up now.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47I just love kids. I've got two young gorgeous nephews, though.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- Can I say hello to the...?- No!
0:16:49 > 0:16:50LAUGHTER
0:16:52 > 0:16:53So you're an aunt?
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Yeah, a very proud aunt.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Excellent! Maria, the very proud aunt.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Give me your watch.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05My watch?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09HE CHUCKLES
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Stop...
0:17:10 > 0:17:11HE SHRIEKS: ..smiling!
0:17:11 > 0:17:14LAUGHTER
0:17:14 > 0:17:16I think it's time to eat.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Don't you?
0:17:21 > 0:17:22HE LAUGHS MENACINGLY
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Mmm! Mmm! MARIA GASPS
0:17:26 > 0:17:28METAL CRUNCHES Mmm! Mmm!
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Mmm!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Africa-dabrrrra!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36HE SHRIEKS
0:17:36 > 0:17:40LAUGHTER
0:17:43 > 0:17:46CROWD GASP
0:17:46 > 0:17:48HE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:17:48 > 0:17:49HE SHRIEKS
0:17:58 > 0:17:59Where'd he go?
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Where's he gone?- I dunno.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10- Where's my watch? - LAUGHTER
0:18:11 > 0:18:13- Sah!- Ooh!
0:18:20 > 0:18:22I'd give that five minutes if I were you...
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Auntie. LAUGHTER
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Look in the bush!
0:18:31 > 0:18:34It's my watch! It's my...!
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Oh.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37That is horrible.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38LAUGHTER
0:18:41 > 0:18:43APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Africa-dabra!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49MUSIC: I Can't Wait by Nu Shooz
0:19:00 > 0:19:01LAUGHTER
0:19:04 > 0:19:07NARRATOR: 'Black people - enjoying showing off
0:19:07 > 0:19:10'at house parties since 1948.'
0:19:10 > 0:19:11LAUGHTER
0:19:11 > 0:19:13APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Up, down, left, right.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Cocked, askew and jaunty.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35All different styles of wearing hats, of course.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38But, once again, the Government's Hat Height Advisory Board's
0:19:38 > 0:19:42latest quarterly ruling means that from midnight tonight,
0:19:42 > 0:19:46hats will have to be worn a full two inches higher on the head.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49It's a decision that's caused consternation
0:19:49 > 0:19:52amongst the baseball cap wearing public.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57I spoke to the minister responsible.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Hats must be worn higher for the foreseeable future.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02It's as simple as that.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Let me finish, let me finish, let me finish, let me finish!
0:20:05 > 0:20:07LAUGHTER
0:20:07 > 0:20:11Now, there's been a lot of unwarranted fuss about this.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14There's a whole heap of nonsense being spouted in the press
0:20:14 > 0:20:15and a lot of people who should know better
0:20:15 > 0:20:18have been running their gums and generally chatting shit.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21- LAUGHTER - Let me make this clear,
0:20:21 > 0:20:26this government will not tolerate this kind of blasted foolishness!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Have you got that?
0:20:28 > 0:20:31'So what does this mean for the man then, on the street?'
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- They're taking the piss, fam!- Mm.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Yeah? We've had six raises in the past year!
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Honestly, my brother, I can't keep up, innit.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42And soon they're going to have hats
0:20:42 > 0:20:44all the way up there, like that. Like a mug!
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Does that look safe to you?
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- No.- I'm riding along on my bike, yeah, as you do, innit?
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Yeah, gust of wind come, blows my hat off.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52I go to pick the ting up. Bam!
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I've only been done by a fucking lorry!
0:20:55 > 0:20:56Shit me!
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- LAUGHTER - Get me? So wear it like this.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01- Fine, calm, innit?- Yeah.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04Then man went and changed it to this.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Why? Why would you do that?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- Why?- They then went and changed it
0:21:08 > 0:21:12and made man wear it like that, like it's half decent, innit?
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Cos it's in line with what the men
0:21:13 > 0:21:16- are doing in the street.- It still felt cool.- I saw Obama do that!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Then they went and changed it to this!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20These clowns! These muppets, bruv.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Wh...wh...what's going to...what's going to be next? What here?
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Is that what they want for this country, bruv?
0:21:25 > 0:21:28This sort of ting is what them men are still doing
0:21:28 > 0:21:29- in the eastern blocks, bruv.- Mmm!
0:21:29 > 0:21:32That's as may be, but frustration is running so high
0:21:32 > 0:21:35with this latest government announcement
0:21:35 > 0:21:39that underground hat parties are springing up
0:21:39 > 0:21:41across the nation's capital.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43CROWD SHOUTS
0:21:47 > 0:21:50'So popular have these hat parties proved,
0:21:50 > 0:21:55'that visitors from all walks of life have found themselves walking in.'
0:21:55 > 0:21:57LOUD MUSIC PLAYS
0:22:05 > 0:22:07- I've let myself down... - LAUGHTER
0:22:07 > 0:22:09..I have let my party down,
0:22:09 > 0:22:11and, most importantly,
0:22:11 > 0:22:14I have let my wives and my boyfriend down.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15LAUGHTER
0:22:15 > 0:22:18This has been a deeply regrettable incident
0:22:18 > 0:22:21and I will be taking a leave of absence from my ministerial duties
0:22:21 > 0:22:25to write a thick book about my experiences
0:22:25 > 0:22:27and to seek professional help from my milliner.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29LAUGHTER
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Well, hat's life!
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Next week, with a rise in trouser heights expected,
0:22:40 > 0:22:44we'll speak to one man who's bucking the trend.
0:22:44 > 0:22:45If man want to wear it, yeah,
0:22:45 > 0:22:49below my breastses on some granddad swag, yeah? Man will do that.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51If man want to wear it below my ankles, yeah?
0:22:51 > 0:22:54On some Snow White, Seven Dwarves swag, yeah?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- Man will do that, yeah? - LAUGHTER
0:22:56 > 0:22:58So don't try telling man how to wear my trousers.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00What a prat!
0:23:00 > 0:23:02LAUGHTER I'll see you next time.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05But in the meantime, remember, keep your jeans high
0:23:05 > 0:23:08and your hats even higher.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09One love.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13MUSIC: One Love by Bob Marley and The Wailers
0:23:13 > 0:23:14APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:23:23 > 0:23:25See?
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Stinks, innit?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28But tastes nice.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Try it.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time in the show
0:23:33 > 0:23:35where I get to play you some of my favourite music
0:23:35 > 0:23:37by some of my favourite artists.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40We've got something special for you this week on the Javone Prince Show.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Please, show some love
0:23:42 > 0:23:44for Carleen Anderson!
0:23:44 > 0:23:46- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Amazing!
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Ooh, sorry, sorry. Are you OK?
0:24:02 > 0:24:06# A popularity of invasion
0:24:07 > 0:24:10# Handed down through centuries
0:24:12 > 0:24:15# A force of arms called gentle persuasion
0:24:16 > 0:24:20# What have we learned from history?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22# Apparently nothing
0:24:22 > 0:24:25# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:24:25 > 0:24:27# Apparently nothing
0:24:27 > 0:24:30# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:24:30 > 0:24:31# Apparently nothing
0:24:31 > 0:24:34# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:24:34 > 0:24:36# Apparently nothing
0:24:36 > 0:24:39#Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:24:39 > 0:24:44# Human worth is so inexpensive
0:24:44 > 0:24:48# Compared to gold, the root of most wars
0:24:48 > 0:24:53# Subtract the tears from countless offences
0:24:53 > 0:24:57# What is left but guns and scars?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59# Apparently nothing
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:25:02 > 0:25:03# Apparently nothing
0:25:03 > 0:25:07# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:25:07 > 0:25:08# Apparently nothing
0:25:08 > 0:25:11# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:25:11 > 0:25:14# Apparently nothing, yeah
0:25:14 > 0:25:17# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:25:17 > 0:25:19# Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yea-aah
0:25:19 > 0:25:23# Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yea-aah
0:25:23 > 0:25:24SHE SCATS
0:25:24 > 0:25:25# Woo-hoo!
0:25:25 > 0:25:26# Sing the song, y'all
0:25:26 > 0:25:29- # I ain't trying to rule your mind - Yeah!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31# A conscious observer trying to find
0:25:31 > 0:25:33# A place on Earth where they heed the signs
0:25:33 > 0:25:36# Beware of conflicts that ruin mankind
0:25:36 > 0:25:38- # Ooh, oooh, oooh! - If you want things move better
0:25:38 > 0:25:40# Withstand the tides of the bad weather
0:25:40 > 0:25:43# The struggle thrives when we all gather
0:25:43 > 0:25:45# Down at the banks of the soul river
0:25:45 > 0:25:47# Ye-ah!
0:25:47 > 0:25:50HIGH-PITCHED SCATTING
0:25:55 > 0:25:56# Ooh!
0:25:56 > 0:25:58# Love, ooh!
0:25:58 > 0:25:59# Oh-ho-ho
0:25:59 > 0:26:02SHE SCATS
0:26:02 > 0:26:04# Ooh, ooh, ooh!
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- # Each one, teach one into one - Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:26:07 > 0:26:09# Come on, children
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- # Each one, teach one into one - Apparently nothing, nothing apparently
0:26:13 > 0:26:15# See the light
0:26:15 > 0:26:16# Come on, children
0:26:16 > 0:26:19# You have got to show your light
0:26:19 > 0:26:22# Oh, oh, oh, oh!
0:26:22 > 0:26:24# So this little light of mine
0:26:24 > 0:26:27# I'm going to let it shine
0:26:27 > 0:26:28# This little light of mine
0:26:28 > 0:26:30# I'm!
0:26:30 > 0:26:31# Going to let it shine
0:26:31 > 0:26:34# Everywhere where we go
0:26:34 > 0:26:36# I'm going to let my light go
0:26:36 > 0:26:38# Everywhere where we go
0:26:38 > 0:26:41# I'm going to let my light go! #
0:26:41 > 0:26:43APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Carleen Anderson, everybody!
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Oh, what a voice!
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Give it up!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Oh, oh, oh!
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Oh, oh! Oh-oh!
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Oh!
0:27:00 > 0:27:03On behalf of everybody here at the Javone Prince Show,
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- and our friends at Horganzair, of course...- Mm.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07LAUGHTER ..we'd very much like you to accept
0:27:07 > 0:27:11this souvenir tray of 16 individually wrapped
0:27:11 > 0:27:12drinkable cheese snack cups.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14- LAUGHTER - Thank you. Thank you.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18Erm, could we just get a photograph please for the sponsors?
0:27:18 > 0:27:19LAUGHTER Ah yes, splendid.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Excellent product placement.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- LAUGHTER - Thank you.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25CARLEEN LAUGHS My dear lady, how the devil are you?
0:27:25 > 0:27:27- So that's it! - ALL:- Oh!
0:27:27 > 0:27:30So, from all of us here on the Javone Prince Show,
0:27:30 > 0:27:31that's me, Javone Prince,
0:27:31 > 0:27:33that's him the legend that is Omar...
0:27:33 > 0:27:35- ALL:- Ooh! - And not forgetting me!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37- I'm trying to... Bruv, take your hand off me.- Sorry.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40LAUGHTER Great banter, though.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Mm. LAUGHTER
0:27:44 > 0:27:47- Go and sit down. - LAUGHTER
0:27:47 > 0:27:49But, before we go,
0:27:49 > 0:27:51you lot know what time it is.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54- It's Candy Time! - CHEERING
0:27:54 > 0:27:55Oh!
0:27:55 > 0:27:57MUSIC: Candy by Cameo
0:27:57 > 0:27:59- That's it, come on! - AUDIENCE CLAP TO MUSIC
0:28:01 > 0:28:04You lot at the front!
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Come on!
0:28:08 > 0:28:11# It's like candy
0:28:11 > 0:28:13# I can feel it when you walk
0:28:13 > 0:28:15# Even when you talk
0:28:15 > 0:28:17# It takes over me
0:28:17 > 0:28:20# You're so dandy
0:28:20 > 0:28:22# I want to know
0:28:22 > 0:28:24# Can you feel it too?
0:28:24 > 0:28:27# Just like I do?
0:28:27 > 0:28:28# Oooh!
0:28:28 > 0:28:31# This stuff is starting now
0:28:31 > 0:28:33# It's the same feeling
0:28:33 > 0:28:36# I always seem to get around you
0:28:38 > 0:28:39# There's no mistaking
0:28:39 > 0:28:41# I'm clearly taken #
0:28:41 > 0:28:42FARTING
0:28:42 > 0:28:45# By the simple mere thought of you
0:28:45 > 0:28:46# Oh! #
0:28:49 > 0:28:52APPLAUSE AND CHEERING