0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:05 > 0:00:08- There's something else in this, isn't there?- Yes. - I put a bit of fennel in this.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10- ALL:- Ah.- That is clever.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- Interesting.- It is clever.
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Bit different, yeah.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15- It's a lovely herb.- Thank you.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18I read something interesting about, er, fennel the other day.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Oh?
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Oh, no, that was, er, coriander.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26- Getting them mixed up.- Mmm.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28- Easily done.- We all do it.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- Getting old. - DOORBELL RINGS
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Just go and get that.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35We're not expecting anybody else, are we?
0:00:35 > 0:00:37- There's not another chair, is there? - Is he up to his tricks again?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39THEY LAUGH
0:00:39 > 0:00:40- # You see... - STUCK IN LOOP
0:00:40 > 0:00:41# You see, you see, you see...
0:00:41 > 0:00:43# You see, you see...
0:00:43 > 0:00:45# One for the trouble Two for the time
0:00:45 > 0:00:46# Come on girls, let's rock that
0:00:46 > 0:00:47WHISTLE
0:00:47 > 0:00:49# Fab Five Freddy Told me everybody's fly
0:00:49 > 0:00:51# DJ spinning, I said, my, my
0:00:51 > 0:00:54# Flash is fast, flash is fast... STUCK IN LOOP
0:00:54 > 0:00:56# Flash is fast, flash is cool
0:00:56 > 0:00:58# Francois c'est pas, flashe non due
0:00:58 > 0:01:00# You say one for the trouble Two for the time
0:01:00 > 0:01:02# Come on, girls, let's rock that...
0:01:02 > 0:01:04# Good times!
0:01:04 > 0:01:07# Hey, bro, I got something that'll blow your mind, man
0:01:07 > 0:01:09# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! #
0:01:09 > 0:01:11RECORD MIXING
0:01:11 > 0:01:13# Good times!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15CHEERING
0:01:19 > 0:01:21- # Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! - Good times!
0:01:21 > 0:01:24# Creole, creole, creole!
0:01:24 > 0:01:26# Get your hands off that girl!
0:01:26 > 0:01:28# Creole, creole!
0:01:28 > 0:01:31# Grand master! Cut, cut, cut faster!
0:01:32 > 0:01:34# Grand master!
0:01:34 > 0:01:37# Grand Master! Cut faster!
0:01:37 > 0:01:42RECORD STUCK IN LOOP
0:01:42 > 0:01:44# It's like candy
0:01:44 > 0:01:46# I can feel it when you walk
0:01:46 > 0:01:48# Even when you talk
0:01:48 > 0:01:51# It takes over me
0:01:51 > 0:01:53# You're so dandy
0:01:53 > 0:01:55# I want to know
0:01:55 > 0:01:57# Can you feel it too
0:01:57 > 0:01:59# Just like I do? #
0:01:59 > 0:02:01VOICE OVER: Black people,
0:02:01 > 0:02:04helping white people to relax since 1948.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06# It's the same feeling,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09# I always seem to get around you
0:02:09 > 0:02:11CHEERING
0:02:16 > 0:02:18And now, ladies and gentlemen,
0:02:18 > 0:02:22brethren, lady brethren and the Picknee Dem,
0:02:22 > 0:02:28will you please welcome your host for this evening's bare madness-es!
0:02:28 > 0:02:31He's the brand ambassador for ladies facial shaving cream
0:02:31 > 0:02:34in three quarters of Equatorial Guinea
0:02:34 > 0:02:36and now Stoke-on-Trent.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40It's Javone Prince!
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Oh, my God!
0:02:41 > 0:02:43You need this in your life!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45You're fine, fine.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Beautiful.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49CHEERING
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Use that. Use that.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59APPLAUSE
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Come! Come, woman!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Ah! Yeah!
0:03:09 > 0:03:10BABY CRIES
0:03:10 > 0:03:11- CHEERING - Mwah!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Ah!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- What?! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:25 > 0:03:27What?!
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Oh! Oh!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Oh, oh!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34- Yeah! - APPLAUSE CONTINUES
0:03:36 > 0:03:40I like that. I like that.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41- WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE - Oh!
0:03:41 > 0:03:43It's the last show of the series.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Your last chance you're going to get to see this.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- AUDIENCE: Aw! - Just take this all in, innit?
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Ladies...
0:03:49 > 0:03:51look at me.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Want me!
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Desire me!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- FROM AUDIENCE: Whoo!- Men...
0:03:57 > 0:03:58be jealous!
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Yeah? I'll be honest with you, all of this is a curse.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- Why?! - LAUGHTER
0:04:06 > 0:04:08So...
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- last show in the series. - AUDIENCE: Aw!
0:04:11 > 0:04:13But no, I don't want your pity. Don't do that!
0:04:13 > 0:04:16You know? Get on with your lives, innit?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Grow as individuals.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Achieve your potential.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Realise your dreams.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Er, can I just say,
0:04:23 > 0:04:26I've realised quite a lot of my dreams on this show.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28I've had a bloody great time!
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Language. Apologies to our younger viewers.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33LAUGHTER I've made some great new pals.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Er, Omar and the gang.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Hey, guys. Wag-wan?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Easy, brother.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- You like the ting? - Oh, yes, me like the ting.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Me like it all right! HE LAUGHS
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Me like the ting too, Omar.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Me like it.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- The ting.- What ting is that, bruv?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Um, I, I don't know.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02- Can we get on with the show? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Just be professional, yeah?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05That's right.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06Do your job.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07LAUGHTER
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Good advice, good advice.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Go on, then.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Omar, everyone!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- APPLAUSE - Yeah!
0:05:16 > 0:05:17I love that guy.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24- Listen to Uncle Omar. Be professional.- Yeah.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Hashtag...
0:05:25 > 0:05:27"You will never...
0:05:27 > 0:05:30"be Lenny Henry."
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Katanga, my friend.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34That's getting tweeted.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Ooo-kay.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Er, Mr Jenkins?
0:05:45 > 0:05:49The doctor will see you now if you'd like to go through.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Why are you looking at me for?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- Sorry?- Do I know you?
0:06:10 > 0:06:15Oh, God, no, no, no, no. I'm a new patient, this is my first visit. MOBILE RINGS
0:06:15 > 0:06:17I've got this cough, erm...
0:06:17 > 0:06:19It's sort of recurring
0:06:19 > 0:06:21and erm, it's getting quite annoying, actually.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24I've tried lots of things to get rid of it, I've tried honey and...
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Mmm, yeah.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28I've got some waste man in my office, you know.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Man looks like a proper dickhead!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Yeah.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Yeah, he is one dickhead, you know.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Why is he in here? Don't even look sick.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- I know. - Excuse me, what is your problem?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Me?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- Nothing, no.- Why you come doctors for, then, innit?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Yeah, this is a busy place of medical-ity, you know?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Yeah, why are you wasting doctor's time for?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Yeah, why are you wasting doctor's time?
0:06:52 > 0:06:55The NHS is in crisis cos of waste men like you.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56I've just got...
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I'm not a waste man.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I've just got this cough and it's recurring.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Thank you.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11What does it say?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13"Fuck off."
0:07:14 > 0:07:16It's fuck off medicine.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18You came in with a cough, yeah?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- Yeah.- So, fuck off.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23And take your medicine.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Dickhead!
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- # Mmm, mm, mm, mm... - # Ah...
0:07:37 > 0:07:39- # Mmm, mm, mm, mm... - # Ah... #
0:07:48 > 0:07:50And now it's time
0:07:50 > 0:07:55for another dirty truth bomb
0:07:55 > 0:08:01from the front line of the war on ignorance.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05All the way from Atlanta, Georgia,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08the original speaker of...
0:08:09 > 0:08:10..unpalatable truths.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Consciousness X!
0:08:17 > 0:08:19WEAK APPLAUSE
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- DRUMBEAT - The white man has taken
0:08:27 > 0:08:30and mistaken,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32and miss...
0:08:32 > 0:08:33shapen
0:08:33 > 0:08:35the Mustapha
0:08:35 > 0:08:40and must have a moustache for rest of a...
0:08:40 > 0:08:43This was the endeavour,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46end of an enema,
0:08:46 > 0:08:50the cinema, the sin of maaa...?
0:08:50 > 0:08:54The sin of mother!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57The sin of brother!
0:08:57 > 0:09:01The sin of my colour?
0:09:01 > 0:09:07No, I will not get to the back of your bus, boss!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Ya dig?
0:09:09 > 0:09:11DRUMMING STOPS
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Could somebody call me an ambulance?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Cos I've just been run over by the truth.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Ladies and gentleman,
0:09:31 > 0:09:34what I'm saying is that what you just said there...
0:09:36 > 0:09:38..was so...
0:09:38 > 0:09:40fucking true!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45It was so true!
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- # Mmm, mm, mm, mm... - # Ah
0:09:47 > 0:09:49- # Mmm, mm, mm, mm... - # Ah
0:09:49 > 0:09:51# Mmm, mm, mm, mm... #
0:09:51 > 0:09:53APPLAUSE
0:09:54 > 0:09:56So, here's the thing.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01My old school's having a reunion, party or whatever.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- And they are just, um, they are... - You haven't got the practice.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Yeah, well, you know, what about that?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- Very good.- Thank you.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12It's not the first time I've been complimented on my fingering, really.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14- Hey! - Hey, what's going on here, then?
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Oh, just chatting breeze with the guys, you know.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19I think you'll find that's perfectly in tune now.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Hey, have you heard the jingle that Omar's written for me?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24What? Sorry, Omar's done you a jingle?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26One, two, three, four.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28FUNKY MUSIC
0:10:30 > 0:10:32# Very nice
0:10:32 > 0:10:34# He's so precise
0:10:34 > 0:10:36# He don't go on and on
0:10:36 > 0:10:38# Like Javone
0:10:38 > 0:10:39# No, no, no
0:10:39 > 0:10:41# Very nice
0:10:41 > 0:10:44# He gets the words right
0:10:44 > 0:10:47# He don't go on and on like Javone
0:10:47 > 0:10:49# Yeah, yeah, yeah! #
0:10:58 > 0:11:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Erm, so he's the announcer.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11You've got your own play-on music. Er, it's my show.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13No, no, he's, he's written one for you as well.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Really? I don't need one cos I've got my own show, innit, so it's fine. I don't want it.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18- Listen to this.- OK, fine.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Ladies and gentlemen, it's your host,
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Javone Prince!
0:11:24 > 0:11:25WEAK CHEERING
0:11:25 > 0:11:27LAUGHTER
0:11:31 > 0:11:32GENTLE APPLAUSE
0:11:32 > 0:11:36THEY LAUGH
0:11:36 > 0:11:39My man just got shamed by a triangle.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- Ugh!- Oh, boy!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- That is shame, innit?- Mmm.
0:11:44 > 0:11:49You just got shamed by a triangle.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Hashtag...
0:11:50 > 0:11:55BOTH: This would never happen to Lenny Henry.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58I'm going to tweet that now.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Do it. HE LAUGHS
0:12:00 > 0:12:03It reinforces the crudest of stereotypes.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- Exactly.- It simply cannot go on.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Are we going to stand around and let this ugly
0:12:08 > 0:12:11and brutal narrative play itself out yet again?
0:12:11 > 0:12:13I'm actually very angry about this.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16I feel your anger and I embrace it.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I've decided I'm also very angry about this.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Yeah, I'm with her. Angry.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22Mmm, I'm livid.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26- Yeah, I'm really, really angry about that as well, actually. - Yeah, yeah, disgusted!
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Once again we're seeing the proud black man being subjugated
0:12:29 > 0:12:32and used by the colonial oppressors for their own ends.
0:12:32 > 0:12:37Is this going to happen every time I get a round of drinks in?
0:12:37 > 0:12:38VOICE OVER: Liberal white people,
0:12:38 > 0:12:42feeling terribly guilty about everything since 1948.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Out now, the Black Pack.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Featuring Frank Sirnasty...
0:12:51 > 0:12:54# If you got a gun up in your waist
0:12:54 > 0:12:55# Please don't shoot up the place
0:12:55 > 0:13:02# Why? Cos I see some ladies tonight That should be having my babies
0:13:02 > 0:13:04# My babies... #
0:13:04 > 0:13:06..the inimitable Dean Manaman...
0:13:06 > 0:13:09# Rolling down the street Smoking indo!
0:13:09 > 0:13:12# Sipping on gin and juice
0:13:12 > 0:13:16# With my mind on my money And my money on my mind... #
0:13:16 > 0:13:17He-he.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19For schizzle my nizzle.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22..the dulcet tones of Sammy Blazes Jr...
0:13:22 > 0:13:25# To the window, to the wall
0:13:25 > 0:13:29# Till the sweat drips down my balls...
0:13:31 > 0:13:33# Boo, boo, boo... #
0:13:33 > 0:13:36..the velvet voice box of Bang Crosby...
0:13:36 > 0:13:40# I like big butts and I cannot lie
0:13:40 > 0:13:43# You other brothers can't deny
0:13:43 > 0:13:47# That when a girl walks in With an itty bitty waist
0:13:47 > 0:13:50# And a round thing in your face
0:13:50 > 0:13:51# You get sprung!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53# Oh, yeah
0:13:53 > 0:13:54# Oh, God... #
0:13:54 > 0:13:57..and, of course, Tony Benjamins.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58# Shoo be do whop!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00# I ain't got no mother f..
0:14:00 > 0:14:02- BLEEP - ..friends.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06# Ha, ha! That's why I f..
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- BLEEP - # Your f.. You fat mother f..
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- BLEEP - # It's true, fat mother f..
0:14:12 > 0:14:16- BLEEP - # I'm talking to you, fat mother f..
0:14:16 > 0:14:18BLEEP And for the first time,
0:14:18 > 0:14:24five of the greatest voices in history together on the same record.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26# How old am I?
0:14:26 > 0:14:27# 21
0:14:27 > 0:14:31# I got 21 seconds Till my vocal's done
0:14:31 > 0:14:35# Two multiplied by ten plus one
0:14:35 > 0:14:37# Romeo done
0:14:37 > 0:14:39# I got 21 seconds to go
0:14:39 > 0:14:43- # What time you got? - I got 21 seconds to go
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- # 21 - I got 21 seconds to go
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- # Time's a ticking - I got 21 seconds to go
0:14:49 > 0:14:52# Ta, ta, 21 seconds to go
0:14:52 > 0:14:55# Ta, ta, 21 seconds to go! #
0:14:55 > 0:14:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:02 > 0:15:06So, remember, breast is best.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08And that applies to feeding as well.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09LAUGHTER
0:15:11 > 0:15:14You're watching the Javone Prince Show.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15I ain't going to lie...
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I'm Javone Prince.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Coming up!
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Sketches, music, live dancing.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24But first, sketches.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Real Talk.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37We're all familiar with the ludicrositiness
0:15:37 > 0:15:39of gang warfare on our streets.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41But there's a new kind of gang
0:15:41 > 0:15:43that's been brought to our attention.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47I'm here on the notorious Man-o-Man Estate in North West, South East London
0:15:47 > 0:15:51to meet members of the infamous Young Gentlemen Crew.
0:15:51 > 0:15:56You must have seen some pretty heavy skang going down on the street.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Brother, brother, brother, brother,
0:15:58 > 0:16:01I seen tings no man should see, you know.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04You get me? There are actually men out there, yeah,
0:16:04 > 0:16:05that would think nothing
0:16:05 > 0:16:07of pouring red wine...
0:16:08 > 0:16:10..in a white wine glass.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12What? Are you mad?
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Rule two!
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Like, I seen it too many times, bruv,
0:16:17 > 0:16:21these men don't even heat up their plates before they eat!
0:16:21 > 0:16:25And then when their food's cold, they want to start moaning. Ah-tah!
0:16:25 > 0:16:27It's incredible.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Bruv, these man call lunch their dinner, yeah?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34And then at six o'clock they go home and have their tea. Tea!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Now, as for supper, that's non-existent.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39And let's not talk about pre or post-theatre supper.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41This is barbaric,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43but it's happening right now on London's streets.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46You see them youths there, see them brothers there, yeah?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Them men there, when they make their soups, yeah,
0:16:48 > 0:16:51they're using stock cubes, bruv.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53- Wow.- Like, stock cubes?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Fucking stock cubes?!
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Yo, sorry for my language, but make a stock!
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Be a man! Make a stock, bruv!
0:17:00 > 0:17:05You hear me, bones, celery, bay leaf, carrots, onions, peppercorn.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Cover with water. Skim, simmer. You're done though, already. You get me?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Where's your stock pot, bruv? Oi! Where's your stock pot?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Go home and make a stock pot, you side man.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19If I see them brothers again, them are going to catch fire, you know.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Once I'd gained the trust of Roger
0:17:21 > 0:17:24and we'd had a lovely cup of Earl Grey tea, without milk,
0:17:24 > 0:17:25he agreed to introduce me
0:17:25 > 0:17:29to another member of the Young Gentleman Crew, Jamaal.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Who didn't want to me named.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35I'm hearing that knife crime is a big part of this culture.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37It's a lifestyle out here, you feel me?
0:17:37 > 0:17:40- Man, you found a knife over there.- Trust me, bruv,
0:17:40 > 0:17:41there's youths on this block, yeah,
0:17:41 > 0:17:44that wouldn't pep to use a fish knife to butter bread, fam.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Just the other day, yeah, man had a little dinner party, yeah?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- Just a simple kitchen supper, innit? - Yeah, light ting...- Yeah, man.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Anyways, I just set out the starters, cos I go hard with the bruschetta.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- You wouldn't believe it.- Trust me.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59And then, yeah, this one youth decided to draw for a machete
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- to slice the camembert. - No, but bruv!
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Why would you do that to cheese?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Why would you batter cheese like that?
0:18:05 > 0:18:09- Where did the machete even come from? - Trust me, bruv. Have you got beef with the cheese or something?
0:18:09 > 0:18:13It seems like there's been a complete breakdown
0:18:13 > 0:18:14in social etiquette.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Tell him about the language that these youths here...
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Language, bruv, basic English language.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22It's gone. It's finished. It's out of here, man.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I can't surround myself with these people.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Trust me man, can't sleep at night, yeah, knowing like,
0:18:27 > 0:18:28man in the next block, yeah,
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- is using the word "arks" instead of "ask", fam.- Yeah!
0:18:31 > 0:18:33- What's that Jim character? The Mask, innit?- The Mask.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37Bruv, they have to go to their mum, to "arks"
0:18:37 > 0:18:39- if they can watch "The Marks."- Marks.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Like, really, it's in front of you, it's in front of you.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- It's on the DVD, bruv. - It's blatantly written out, bruv.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Shit me.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50How did we get to this stage?
0:18:52 > 0:18:56How did we get to this situation where our language is being mangled
0:18:56 > 0:18:59like the serrated edge of a bread knife
0:18:59 > 0:19:04tearing through a delicate Victoria sponge?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07It seems that on our streets
0:19:07 > 0:19:09there's jam and cream everywhere.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14I met with two ex gang members
0:19:14 > 0:19:15who are now mentors.
0:19:17 > 0:19:18Hey, uncle, let me tell you something,
0:19:18 > 0:19:21we're in decadent times right now, yeah?
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Not so long ago, that old cheese of this block
0:19:23 > 0:19:25would have duffed the yout' out
0:19:25 > 0:19:27for using a subjunctive instead of a past participle
0:19:27 > 0:19:29when in conversation.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31- But that's the kind of times we're in right now.- Pfft.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Them kind of rigours have gone!
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Bruv, this is basic stuff
0:19:35 > 0:19:38that yout' should be learning when they're home. You get me?
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Subjunctive, past participles, conditionals.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44There's youts out there that don't even know what an oxymoron is.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Can you believe that?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49These London Picknee Dem, they're not able to discern
0:19:49 > 0:19:52between the Shakespearian stress or the Marlowe stress, like.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55The iambic pentameter.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Feminine ending, male ending.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59There's at least five different endings
0:19:59 > 0:20:01that these youts don't even know about.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Don't get me started, cuz.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Don't get him started on iambic feet, cuzzy.- Pfft.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09But now these youts want to talk in 140 characters or less.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11These youts are talking in text,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- that what we've become, we become lols.- Lols!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16- What's lols, fam?- What's lols, fam?
0:20:16 > 0:20:21You want to talk in text? You want to convey how you feel in a text?
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Try speaking in Shakespearian text, cuz.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- "Thou art more lovely and more temperate."- Done, though.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32But now these youts want to say, "Yo, come let me dig you out."
0:20:32 > 0:20:36"Rough wings do shake the darling buds of May." Let's do a ting.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39"Thy eternal summer shall not fade." But are we going to bang, though?'
0:20:39 > 0:20:42"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see."
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Are we going to bang, though?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46"So long live this and this gives life to thee."
0:20:46 > 0:20:48But are we going to bang, though?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Don't make me low. - Don't make him low.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Bruv, the next yout' that says DPMO, SMH or L,
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I'm going to dup him, blud.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59- It's peak for them, dupping on sight, knock 'em long.- You get me?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Yes.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02But are we going to bang, though?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06So many questions.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08What hope?
0:21:08 > 0:21:09What future?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12What's for dinner?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14This looks amazing, guys.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Hey, hey! Have you washed your hands?
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Why is my man leaning over the food, though? Dirty pig.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Are you using a fish knife to butter ciabatta?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Bruv, why are you putting butter in the ciabatta?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30We haven't even said grace! Bruv, get up!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Seriously, get up, brother! Come off the table, innit, man.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36- Man want to touch up the food when it ain't blessed. - What is it with this guy?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39What? Are you going to go without pushing your chair in?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- Brother, I'm going to say grace. - Yeah.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46JAMAICAN ACCENT: Lord Jesus, we must forgive this brother,
0:21:46 > 0:21:48for him not know what a man do.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Him don't have no manners and him just dash bread everywhere
0:21:51 > 0:21:53like him born in a barn!
0:21:53 > 0:21:55We pray, Lord, when he get on the bus, nobody bust him head.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- And we thank him Jesus for this mighty food. Amen.- Amen.
0:21:58 > 0:21:59APPLAUSE
0:22:02 > 0:22:03Me like it.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06So...
0:22:08 > 0:22:11..it's that time in the show where I get to play you
0:22:11 > 0:22:13some of my favourite music.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15MUSIC There's Nothing Like This by Omar
0:22:18 > 0:22:20You like that, innit.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- Don't play with me, Omar. - MUSIC RESUMES
0:22:26 > 0:22:29You know that's my song, innit? Are you going to do it? Do it for...
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Are you going to do it for me and them?
0:22:31 > 0:22:33- Since it's the last show of the series...- Yeah.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35..and he asked me, and I like him...
0:22:36 > 0:22:39What can I say? I make shit happen.
0:22:39 > 0:22:40LAUGHTER
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Repeated apologies to our younger viewers for the coarse language.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Ladies and gentlemen, please,
0:22:46 > 0:22:48please put your hands together
0:22:48 > 0:22:50for the Godfather of British neo soul,
0:22:50 > 0:22:53finally, finally doing There's Nothing Like This.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55It's Omar!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:57 > 0:22:58Yes!
0:22:59 > 0:23:00Yes!
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Omar! Omar!
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- Have a seat.- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07APPLAUSE CONTINUES
0:23:09 > 0:23:11INSTRUMENTAL STARTS
0:23:11 > 0:23:14# La, la, la, la, la
0:23:14 > 0:23:17# La, la...
0:23:17 > 0:23:19# Yeah, my baby
0:23:19 > 0:23:21# Ooh...
0:23:21 > 0:23:25# Sip a glass of cold champagne wine
0:23:27 > 0:23:31# The rug that we lie on Feels divine
0:23:32 > 0:23:35# And there's no...
0:23:35 > 0:23:38# No, no, no, no...
0:23:38 > 0:23:40# Parallel
0:23:40 > 0:23:41# Yeah
0:23:41 > 0:23:43# Doo, doo
0:23:44 > 0:23:48# For we two
0:23:50 > 0:23:52# Oh
0:23:52 > 0:23:54# All right
0:23:54 > 0:23:57# Ecstasy the word of the night
0:23:59 > 0:24:02# Ringing in our ears
0:24:02 > 0:24:04# We're in flight
0:24:05 > 0:24:07# There's no...
0:24:07 > 0:24:11# No, no, no...
0:24:11 > 0:24:14# Substitution
0:24:14 > 0:24:16# No, no, ooh...
0:24:16 > 0:24:19# Ha, for what
0:24:19 > 0:24:22# We have
0:24:23 > 0:24:27# No others can have
0:24:27 > 0:24:29# Wa!
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- # There's nothing - Like this
0:24:32 > 0:24:35# Be, be, be, be, be, be dup
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- # There's nothing - Like this
0:24:38 > 0:24:41# No, no, no, no, no,
0:24:41 > 0:24:44# No-one could ever have
0:24:44 > 0:24:46# What we have
0:24:46 > 0:24:50# There's nothing like this
0:24:50 > 0:24:53# Boom, ba, ba, boom
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- # There's nothing - Like this...
0:24:56 > 0:24:59# No, no, no, no, no, no
0:24:59 > 0:25:01- # There's nothing... - Like this
0:25:04 > 0:25:06# Not even remotely
0:25:06 > 0:25:08# Like this
0:25:08 > 0:25:09# Yeah, babe, yeah
0:25:09 > 0:25:12# Ooh, nothing like
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- # Nothing like this - There's nothing like
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- # Nothing like this - Nothing, nothing like
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- # Nothing like this - No, no, no, no
0:25:21 > 0:25:25- # Nothing like this - Ba, ba-ba, ba-ba, ba, ba
0:25:25 > 0:25:27- # Nothing like this - Yeah, yeah, yeah
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- # Nothing like this - There's nothing like this
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- # Nothing like this - I said there's nothing like this
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- # Nothing like this - Oh, nothing, nothing like
0:25:35 > 0:25:38- # Nothing like this - Oh, oh, yeah
0:25:38 > 0:25:41- # Nothing like this - Oh, oh, yeah
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- # This - Nothing like this
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- # Oh, ma, ma... - Nothing like this
0:25:45 > 0:25:49- # Ba, ba, ba... - Nothing like this
0:25:49 > 0:25:50# Yeah... #
0:25:52 > 0:25:54There's nothing like...
0:25:54 > 0:26:00# This. #
0:26:00 > 0:26:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Oh!
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Omar!
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- WHOOPING - Yeah!
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Omar!
0:26:14 > 0:26:17- Wow! - APPLAUSE CONTINUES
0:26:23 > 0:26:26So, it's that time of the show.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28- Last show of the series. - AUDIENCE: Aw!
0:26:30 > 0:26:31I know.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34I hope you've had a great time, cos we've had an amazing time.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36I've had an incredible time.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Omar, you had an incredible time?
0:26:39 > 0:26:40Not really.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42LAUGHTER
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Omar, everybody!
0:26:45 > 0:26:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:47 > 0:26:51I love that guy. I love that guy.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54But before we go, you know what time it is, innit? It's Candy time!
0:26:54 > 0:26:56WHOOPING AND MUSIC
0:26:56 > 0:26:57Come on, people.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01It's the last time I'm going to get to see you do this.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03You know what to do.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07# Yeah, yeah
0:27:07 > 0:27:09# Mmm
0:27:11 > 0:27:13# It's like candy
0:27:13 > 0:27:16# I can feel it when you walk
0:27:16 > 0:27:18# Even when you talk
0:27:18 > 0:27:20# It takes over me
0:27:20 > 0:27:22# You're so dandy
0:27:23 > 0:27:24# I want to know
0:27:24 > 0:27:27# Can you feel it too?
0:27:27 > 0:27:28# Just like I do?
0:27:28 > 0:27:31# Ooh!
0:27:31 > 0:27:33# This stuff is starting now
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# It's the same feeling
0:27:35 > 0:27:38# I always seem to get around you
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- # There's no mistaking... # - Hashtag...
0:27:42 > 0:27:45"Bring back the Javone Prince Show,
0:27:45 > 0:27:48"starring Lenny Henry...
0:27:48 > 0:27:50"as Javone Prince."
0:27:50 > 0:27:52I would watch that.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54That's getting tweeted right now.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Do it.