0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language
0:00:09 > 0:00:11On the show tonight, James Corden...
0:00:11 > 0:00:13APPLAUSE
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Alex Jones...
0:00:16 > 0:00:17APPLAUSE
0:00:17 > 0:00:18Sir Bruce Forsyth...
0:00:18 > 0:00:20APPLAUSE
0:00:20 > 0:00:24But for now, please welcome Michael McIntyre!
0:00:26 > 0:00:29You have got to be kidding.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38You have got to be kidding.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Yes, baby! Whoo! I'm loving this.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Oh, what love in the room tonight!
0:00:49 > 0:00:53Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Michael McIntyre Chat Show.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00What an extraordinary show we have for you tonight,
0:01:00 > 0:01:02the last of the series. Let's get going!
0:01:02 > 0:01:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:06 > 0:01:09My first guest went from High Wycombe to Hollywood.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13He is a sitcom star, Broadway darling, Brit-hosting and Comic Relief legend.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15He's even had a number one hit single.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18He is one man, two BAFTAs, he is in a league of his own.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20It's James Corden!
0:01:20 > 0:01:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- How are you? You look really good all the time.- Oh, come on.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- You do!- No, that's not true. - It is so nice to be sitting here in ties and suits.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Any time I normally see you, we're in sweat pants.
0:01:52 > 0:01:57We need sweat pants in our life! Is that for comfort or for working out?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Well, I have seen you working out.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04- Yeah. It's true. It's true.- I have.
0:02:04 > 0:02:09Michael and I share a personal trainer.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12- I mean, it's...- Don't you want to put that in the past tense?
0:02:12 > 0:02:13It is a bad advert for him!
0:02:13 > 0:02:14LAUGHTER
0:02:17 > 0:02:18Seriously!
0:02:28 > 0:02:32- Me and James went to Matt Roberts Gym.- Changed our lives.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33LAUGHTER
0:02:41 > 0:02:45If I ever go to the gym or anything, I feel when I have a day,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I don't have enough hours in the day, they just fly by.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Except for the hour I'm in the gym!
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Where it takes a lifetime.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58I will be in the mirror and I will think I'm nearly done,
0:02:58 > 0:03:00and I look and I've been there four minutes.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05I always, always go to the toilet when I'm at the gym
0:03:05 > 0:03:07even when I don't need to go to the toilet
0:03:07 > 0:03:10and sometimes I just sit in there.
0:03:10 > 0:03:16He'll go, "Right, let's get into some planking."
0:03:16 > 0:03:20You know what planking is? You have to like, you go like this. You go,
0:03:20 > 0:03:23you're on your arms and you have to go like this
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- and on your legs and that's it.- Ow!
0:03:25 > 0:03:29That's it. By the end your whole body is like that.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- The burn.- You're quite good at this. When he says,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37"Let's do some planking," I say, "I've got to go to the toilet,"
0:03:37 > 0:03:40and I'm just sitting there like this.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48Go through your texts and stuff. I cheat on the runner,
0:03:48 > 0:03:50the treadmill.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53You go on the middle. If you distract him and say,
0:03:53 > 0:03:56"Oh, look, I think it is James Corden over there." You can go on the side.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58LAUGHTER
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- Have you done Send To All yet? - After this.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11- This is the prize.- That's the Send To All phone?
0:04:11 > 0:04:17- You haven't done it? No-one's given you their phone?- No.- I have an idea.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I think we should play Send To All on YOUR phone.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- No.- Yes.- No. No. No.
0:04:23 > 0:04:24CHEERING
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- Come on.- Not on MY phone!
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Every week you pick someone out of the audience
0:04:32 > 0:04:35and you embarrass them for an hour.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Now, I think we should do it on your phone.- No, I don't.- No, I don't.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41CHEERING
0:04:41 > 0:04:46- Have you got your phone on you? - This is my actual mobile.- Bullshit.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48This is my mobile.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51We should play Send To All on your phone. It will be amazing.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55- Do you really want me to do that? - Don't you think it'll be hilarious?
0:04:55 > 0:04:56ALL: Yes!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Come on, it will be so funny.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01What about all the people I'm texting?
0:05:01 > 0:05:05You don't think about that when it is Tom from Slough
0:05:05 > 0:05:09who has to go back to his friends and say, "I didn't mean that."
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- Is your phone here? - I have my phone in my desk.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16- Not to everyone. - Give me your phone.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18OK.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Hang on. Right, so...
0:05:22 > 0:05:25You've already got some texts.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28You can't go through my texts on the TV. That's not the show.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32I've got questions about your career.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I'm going through your... Look, you've got some...
0:05:35 > 0:05:37You have got "Ant not Dec."
0:05:37 > 0:05:38LAUGHTER
0:05:50 > 0:05:53I didn't want to just put Ant.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Anton Du Beke.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59How often are you speaking to Anton Du Beke?
0:06:01 > 0:06:02David Hasselhoff.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04APPLAUSE
0:06:06 > 0:06:10That's above David Haye. When does that ever happen?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13This is a show in itself!
0:06:13 > 0:06:14LAUGHTER
0:06:14 > 0:06:19- This is a show in itself. - I need to say that I don't know most of these people!
0:06:19 > 0:06:24I just put... It's quite fun to have famous people in your phone.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I did have a mistake the other day.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28I met Matt Smith, Doctor Who.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31He gave me his number and I put it in the phone as Doctor Who
0:06:31 > 0:06:32LAUGHTER
0:06:32 > 0:06:36And my son had a bad reaction to his injections
0:06:36 > 0:06:38- and I... - LAUGHTER
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I was supposed to send it to Dr Dan who is my doctor,
0:06:42 > 0:06:45who is a doctor of medicine,
0:06:45 > 0:06:51and I sent a photo of my son's arm to Matt Smith, Doctor Who!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I said, "What do you think is wrong with this?"
0:06:53 > 0:06:56He said, "I'm not an actual doctor."
0:06:56 > 0:06:57LAUGHTER
0:07:00 > 0:07:04All right, so let's do Send To All on your phone!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06- Are you all right about this?- No.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08LAUGHTER
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Will you do it if I do it?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- APPLAUSE - Have you got a phone? Oh, yes!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I think we should just call it a day!
0:07:30 > 0:07:34I don't know your code. It has come off. The code has come off.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35LAUGHTER
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Meryl Streep?
0:07:39 > 0:07:40LAUGHTER
0:07:43 > 0:07:46You have taken my Hasselhoff and you've raised it!
0:07:47 > 0:07:52I'm going to write, "I've just finished my chat show
0:07:52 > 0:07:55"and I need to cut loose."
0:07:55 > 0:07:57LAUGHTER
0:07:59 > 0:08:03"Me and you lap dancing..."
0:08:03 > 0:08:04No.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10- I would never cut loose and I would never lap dance. - "Are you in or out?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15"Come on! Let's do this."
0:08:18 > 0:08:19It's gone!
0:08:19 > 0:08:21LAUGHTER
0:08:25 > 0:08:29This isn't fair. Why did I ever do this to anybody else?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34I will send the same thing except I will have to change it.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38You haven't just finished your series. You have had a big week.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- You have been nominated...- Yes.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- ..for a BAFTA.- That's true. APPLAUSE
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- OK. I'm going to go a bit cocky on yours.- Fuck off!
0:08:57 > 0:09:00"Guess who has been nominated for a BAFTA?"
0:09:00 > 0:09:05- No, you can't do that. You can't do that.- I won't put that.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09I'm going to put "Guess who has been nominated for ANOTHER BAFTA."
0:09:09 > 0:09:10Oh, no!
0:09:10 > 0:09:16Come on, there are some people that won't even believe me if I write back.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20- "Guess who has been nominated for another BAFTA?"- Oh, God.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24"I know, it's me!"
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- I wish I hadn't pressed send on yours.- "The big dog."
0:09:31 > 0:09:33LAUGHTER
0:09:37 > 0:09:41I was behind that curtain thinking this is such a fun idea.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45"Let's just celebrate the win now."
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Because it will go to the person that I'm nominated with.
0:09:53 > 0:09:59You can't send that! You can't send that! You can't send that!
0:09:59 > 0:10:04You can't send that! You can't! It will go to Matt.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Just to fill people in, James has been nominated in the same category
0:10:10 > 0:10:15- as his co-writer and co-star.- Me and Matt have been nominated for the
0:10:15 > 0:10:17same award and you can't put that
0:10:17 > 0:10:19because he might never talk to me again.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23I will put in brackets, "Don't bother with Matt's party."
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Fuck off!
0:10:25 > 0:10:26LAUGHTER
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Don't put that.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- There's no way.- All right.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34"OK, let's celebrate the win lap dancing."
0:10:35 > 0:10:40I'm going to send that. Ladies and gentlemen, that message is sending.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47OK. So, many congratulations, James,
0:10:47 > 0:10:50on being nominated for this award with your friend.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Is that a bit mean of them to pit you against each other?
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Better that than just pick neither of us or one of us.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00You are in movies now. You are a movie star. James is a movie star.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03APPLAUSE This isn't true.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07You have got a very big movie coming out with Meryl Streep,
0:11:07 > 0:11:09who I saw in your phone. You've befriended her.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- And that's Into The Woods and that comes out...?- At Christmas.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15And we have another movie here called Begin Again.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19I didn't even know you did this... We've got a picture of Begin Again.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21- Yes... There.- Is this product placement?
0:11:21 > 0:11:25I have never seen so many Apple products and an actual apple?
0:11:25 > 0:11:26LAUGHTER
0:11:27 > 0:11:31I don't think it was product placement.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- What's Begin Again about? - It is two stories that overlap
0:11:35 > 0:11:39and cross in the middle and Mark Ruffalo plays a sort of
0:11:39 > 0:11:42down on his luck, ex-record executive
0:11:42 > 0:11:46and Keira Knightley plays a girl dumped by her now rock star boyfriend
0:11:46 > 0:11:48and the stories meet in the middle
0:11:48 > 0:11:52when he hears a song that Keira's character has written
0:11:52 > 0:11:57and it is about music and love and loveliness in New York.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- When is it out?- It is out in the summer. July.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I'm excited about America. I want to know what it is like
0:12:04 > 0:12:06when you get involved in that Hollywood stuff.
0:12:06 > 0:12:11Do they treat you like a god? Like, "Hey, James, you are awesome."
0:12:11 > 0:12:14No, it's... Essentially, you just die of encouragement.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18It's lots and lots of people telling that you are amazing
0:12:18 > 0:12:21and you don't ever see them again.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23"We should work together, it'd be amazing."
0:12:23 > 0:12:26And then they just sort of...
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Although, I am in LA and my American agent said,
0:12:28 > 0:12:32"I want you to have a meeting with Spike Jonze."
0:12:32 > 0:12:36I'm like, wow. This is amazing. This is huge.
0:12:36 > 0:12:42I meet... I am in this office, a meeting room at CAA,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44which is a really corporate environment
0:12:44 > 0:12:47and I'm waiting to meet Spike Jonze who is a hero of mine
0:12:47 > 0:12:51and Spike Jonze comes in and we're chatting
0:12:51 > 0:12:54and it's clear that Spike Jonze doesn't know why he is meeting me.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57And I've no idea why I'm meeting Spike Jonze.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59We are just chatting
0:12:59 > 0:13:05and then from nowhere Spike Jonze goes, "Do you want to wrestle?"
0:13:05 > 0:13:09I went, "Sorry, what?"
0:13:09 > 0:13:11He went, "Do you like to wrestle?"
0:13:11 > 0:13:14I went, "What, like, arm...?"
0:13:14 > 0:13:18He went, "No, no. Do you want to wrestle right now?"
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I went, "I'll destroy you."
0:13:21 > 0:13:24And he went, "Well, let's find out."
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Stands up. Takes off his jacket and empties his pockets
0:13:27 > 0:13:31on to the desk and starts going like this around the table.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37I'm going, "Spike I don't know if this is just a thing you do.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40"This is really weird for me."
0:13:40 > 0:13:43And he is going, "Come on, what are you going to do?
0:13:43 > 0:13:44"What are you going to do?"
0:13:44 > 0:13:47I'm going, "I don't know what to do."
0:13:47 > 0:13:49I stand up and take off my coat
0:13:49 > 0:13:55and I'm laughing and I said, "You're going to have to make the first move here, Spike,
0:13:55 > 0:13:58"cos I don't know if I'm being punked or something."
0:14:00 > 0:14:06From nowhere he just jumped on me and slammed me into this wall and for the
0:14:06 > 0:14:10next ten minutes, we just wrestled around this room!
0:14:10 > 0:14:14He is grabbing my face and I had him in a headlock
0:14:14 > 0:14:18and at one point he had a finger in my eye
0:14:18 > 0:14:21and he just went, "What do you want to do next in your career?"
0:14:21 > 0:14:24He pinned me to the... He pinned me on the floor and he was going,
0:14:24 > 0:14:28"You are going to have to submit." I went, "I will never submit.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32I was trying to wriggle and every time I wriggled I got deeper into a hole.
0:14:32 > 0:14:37I went, "OK, I submit." And we both lay on the floor going... HE PANTS
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Poured a glass of water and we drank them really quickly...
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Put them down and we sat down and carried on talking and that was it.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51- Barking mad! - I have not heard from him since.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54I don't think I will ever see him again.
0:14:54 > 0:15:00- It was so weird.- Forget Hollywood.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- It was so strange.- That does not happen in this country!
0:15:03 > 0:15:07Well, I know that obviously you've got big representation in LA
0:15:07 > 0:15:11and you're having amazing meetings/fighting.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13But what I'm very keen for everyone to know about...
0:15:13 > 0:15:17- First of all, I'm going to play this bit - there's a documentary coming out on the BBC...- Mm.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21- ..which is When Corden Met Barlow... - Yeah.- ..who is a hero of yours.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- Absolute hero of mine. - An excellent clip.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26# We both know love was lost... #
0:15:26 > 0:15:32- Why this one?- It's a whole mix. It's a mix of the whole back catalogue.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37# Love ain't here any more... #
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- Do you like this one?- Yes!
0:15:39 > 0:15:45# No, no, love ain't here any more... #
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Take it big, Gary, go.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- # It's one away - Ooh... #
0:15:50 > 0:15:53LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:54 > 0:15:57- # Love - Love
0:15:57 > 0:16:00# Ain't here any more. #
0:16:00 > 0:16:04- Let's see what else we've got.- Hang on. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:16:04 > 0:16:08That is so fun. It is so much fun. It was so great.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11We just spent two days just travelling
0:16:11 > 0:16:13round like places of his past, talking to his mum
0:16:13 > 0:16:17and we went to the working men's club that he first ever performed in
0:16:17 > 0:16:21and Nigel Martin-Smith, who put Take That together, and... It was great.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25We got interviews with Robbie Williams and Elton John
0:16:25 > 0:16:27and it was, for me, a real dream come true.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- And he's such a charming, lovely man.- It was great, yeah.
0:16:30 > 0:16:35I was a Take That fan when it wasn't cool to be a Take That fan when you were a boy.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38I went with like nine girls from my school...
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- LAUGHTER Just nine girls and me. - What was it about Take That?
0:16:41 > 0:16:47I just loved the routines and the songs and everything. I love it! I love the shows! Seriously!
0:16:47 > 0:16:53- How old were- you then? 12. 12 to 16. Right through school, I was fully...
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- Did you get picked on for this a little bit?- Um... I guess so, yeah.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01People used to go... Yeah, people used to say things all the time.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04They were into things like Nirvana and they're writing things...
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- Red Hot Chili Peppers... - Buy another trench coat.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10o, yeah, I was very much with the girls.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11BOTH: # Could it be magic, now! #
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Yeah! I knew all the routines. I knew everything. I loved it so much.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19I'm going to play one more clip. When I saw this... I just felt like more people need to see it.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23I don't know how many people saw it when you were singing together with Barlow, but it's brilliant!
0:17:23 > 0:17:28- Absolutely brilliant! This was what you did for ITV, I think. - Oh, his Christmas show.- Yeah.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31If I could have told my 12-year-old self that I would have got to
0:17:31 > 0:17:34do this, like, his head would have exploded, it was so much fun.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38I think watching this, you need to think of that 12-year-old boy,
0:17:38 > 0:17:42being slightly picked on by the Red Hot Chili Pepper, Nirvana-loving, crazy-haired kids,
0:17:42 > 0:17:48- and you're just with the routines, you're hanging round mainly with girls at this stage.- Yeah.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51And then all those years later, this.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54# Surely, we must be inside
0:17:57 > 0:18:01# Of the dream we love to live
0:18:03 > 0:18:08# If you stop and close your eyes
0:18:08 > 0:18:12# You'll picture me inside
0:18:12 > 0:18:20# I'm so cold and all alone. #
0:18:20 > 0:18:23CHEERING
0:18:26 > 0:18:31CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:18:42 > 0:18:45- Sensational! - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Really brilliant!
0:18:46 > 0:18:49When we...
0:18:49 > 0:18:52When we...
0:18:52 > 0:18:55When Gary asked if I'd come and do that, he said, "Don't worry.
0:18:55 > 0:19:00"We'll get someone to teach you the routine." And I went, "No, Gary. It's cool."
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- LAUGHTER - I'm doing it right now! - I've got it down. Yeah!
0:19:04 > 0:19:09- No, it was great.- Ladies and gentlemen, if you've just tuned in,
0:19:09 > 0:19:14we've reluctantly swapped phones and we should see how that's getting on.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I'm so nervous about this! Shall we do that?
0:19:17 > 0:19:20CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:19:25 > 0:19:27OK.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- JAMES LAUGHS - Oh, shit!
0:19:31 > 0:19:35OK, I'm just going to remind everybody of the text, which was...
0:19:35 > 0:19:40It was... I sent, "I've just finished my chat show and I need to cut loose.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43"Me and you, lap dancing. Are you in or out?
0:19:43 > 0:19:47- "Come on, let's do this." Right?- Yeah.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- And the first one that comes up is Judy Murray.- No way!
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Andy Murray's mum!
0:19:53 > 0:19:56- Judy Murray?! - And it says, "Who are you?"
0:19:56 > 0:19:59LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Judy Murray!
0:20:05 > 0:20:09- Judy Murray!- OK, hang on.
0:20:09 > 0:20:15- OK. Anton Du Beke.- No! - "At last, some real dancing. I'm in!"
0:20:15 > 0:20:18LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:20 > 0:20:21"I'm so ready!"
0:20:21 > 0:20:26- "I love the idea of you and Anton Du Beke...- I can't believe Du Beke's in!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28What have you got?
0:20:28 > 0:20:34OK. So the text I sent out on James's phone... I can't speak.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38- I'm so embarrassed about Judy Murray and Anton Du Beke.- Judy...
0:20:38 > 0:20:42What kind of a night out is that going to be?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- SCOTTISH ACCENT:- Michael, do you want another lappy?
0:20:45 > 0:20:46LAUGHTER
0:20:46 > 0:20:49I'll lend you a 20! She's got a fine pair, that one!
0:20:49 > 0:20:51LAUGHTER
0:20:51 > 0:20:57- She's suddenly Taggart!- "Guess who's been nominated for another BAFTA.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01- "Yes, that's right. It's me, the big dog."- Oh, God!
0:21:01 > 0:21:07"Let's celebrate the win now. You and me going lap dancing. Let's do this."
0:21:07 > 0:21:11- OK, we've got an absolutely wonderful one from Jack Whitehall. - OK.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14"Have to be Spearmint Rhino. I'm banned from Stringfellows."
0:21:14 > 0:21:18LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:21:22 > 0:21:26I can't believe... You're going to have such a good night.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29I've just got a maybe from Judy Murray and Anton Du Beke,
0:21:29 > 0:21:34- who is already there with a bottle of Champagne.- Not true. You've got a great one just come in.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36From Clarkson. LAUGHTER
0:21:36 > 0:21:38"Yes! Yes! Yes!"
0:21:38 > 0:21:40LAUGHTER
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Luke Coxwald has said, "Mm, very kind, Michael,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46"but I'm not about this week. Tuesday I can do."
0:21:46 > 0:21:51LAUGHTER "Secrets, Hammersmith, super venue."
0:21:51 > 0:21:55LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- He's an estate agent. A country estate agent.- Sure.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02"Tuesday, I can do. Can you work around my schedule?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04"I'm showing a house on Monday."
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Alan Carr says, "Well, someone's full of beans!"
0:22:07 > 0:22:08LAUGHTER
0:22:08 > 0:22:10"You have a short memory.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13"Last time we went lap dancing, you pulled something."
0:22:13 > 0:22:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I...
0:22:20 > 0:22:24Is Alan Carr getting the biggest laugh on my chat show?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28LAUGHTER Hang on! Hold up! Hold up!
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Roy Hodgson...
0:22:31 > 0:22:33LAUGHTER
0:22:33 > 0:22:37- No way! - "I'm sure you don't mean ME, Michael.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42"My dancing days are long gone, but have a good night. Best, Roy."
0:22:42 > 0:22:46LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:22:48 > 0:22:52Oh, it's too much. OK. Shall we go with Harry Styles?
0:22:52 > 0:22:53OK.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59"Great! But what is it with you and lap dancing?"
0:22:59 > 0:23:01LAUGHTER
0:23:01 > 0:23:04"You know what happened last time we did that. Wasn't pretty.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08- "Maybe we shouldn't bring Max this time." That's your child.- My son.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11And then he's put in brackets, which I quite like,
0:23:11 > 0:23:14"Are you playing Send To All with Michael McIntyre?" Harry Styles!
0:23:14 > 0:23:18- CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - Harry Styles!
0:23:18 > 0:23:19APPLAUSE
0:23:19 > 0:23:23- Oh, dear!- Well, this, let's be honest, couldn't have gone better.
0:23:23 > 0:23:28- We're going to have to check in on this later on. Are you OK to do that?- Yeah, sure. Give me my phone.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30LAUGHTER
0:23:30 > 0:23:35All right. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in thanking the absolutely wonderful James Corden.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Fantastic!
0:23:40 > 0:23:43That was really bad! I'm going to keep this.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46James Corden, ladies and gentlemen.
0:23:46 > 0:23:51CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:23:51 > 0:23:54How amazing was James Corden, ladies and gentlemen?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57- CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - What a night we're having!
0:23:57 > 0:23:59OK.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02My next guest is a wondrous ray of Welsh sunshine.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Five days a week at seven o'clock sharp, she steals our hearts.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Please welcome the delightfully dishy TV queen of The One Show.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13She's the one, the only... Alex Jones is here!
0:24:13 > 0:24:16CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:24:22 > 0:24:25How are you?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:24:27 > 0:24:31- Alex Jones, ladies and gentlemen. - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:24:31 > 0:24:35- Alex Jones, you're looking very, very, very good.- Oh!
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Thank you very much, Michael McIntyre.
0:24:38 > 0:24:43- Can't beat a black dress, can you? - It's actually a really long T-shirt. - Even better!
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Do you have somebody advising you on...? Cos it's very difficult,
0:24:47 > 0:24:50you're on that show five days a week, to come up with a new outfit every day.
0:24:50 > 0:24:55It's very difficult and especially on a budget of (£18 a day).
0:24:55 > 0:25:01- £18 a day?!- I mean, that's really... That's quite hard, girls, right?
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- £18...- A day. So when people go, "It's lovely because you always wear
0:25:05 > 0:25:08"stuff from the high street," I don't have a choice!
0:25:08 > 0:25:12- LAUGHTER - Now, listen, I'm very proud of you, Alex Jones,
0:25:12 > 0:25:16- and what you did for Sport Relief. - Right.- Oh, my God!
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Will you inform us what you went through and how much you raised?
0:25:19 > 0:25:25So I climbed a 1,200 foot rock in Utah, in the National Park,
0:25:25 > 0:25:27in Zion National Park.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31And it was a rock called Moonlight Buttress
0:25:31 > 0:25:33and I crack-climbed Moonlight Buttress...
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- What does that mean? - LAUGHTER
0:25:36 > 0:25:39You crack-climbed? Is that something to do with the guy above you?
0:25:39 > 0:25:44LAUGHTER Well, we'll talk about that in a minute. But crack-climbing is
0:25:44 > 0:25:48when you have to wedge your hands into these tiny cracks,
0:25:48 > 0:25:49until your hand is stuck,
0:25:49 > 0:25:52and then you pull all your body weight onto your hand
0:25:52 > 0:25:55and then you wedge your feet in and your other hand and so on.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57It was unpleasant.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59When you're lifting your body up
0:25:59 > 0:26:02because your hand is wedged in a crack?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04- Yeah. - But how do you un-wedge your hand?
0:26:04 > 0:26:08Well, you pull yourself up, you make yourself safe with your other
0:26:08 > 0:26:12hand, and then you remove this hand and replace and repeat.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14I think we've got a picture of the rock.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18That is absolutely terrifying! That's you! It's you, isn't it?
0:26:18 > 0:26:21- It's me!- You've got your hand in a crack and you're going up there.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24- LAUGHTER - So what about when the cracks ran out?
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Well, there's cracks all the way up because it's made of sandstone.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30- Doesn't that worry you? - I was petrified, the entire time.
0:26:30 > 0:26:35It took two-and-a-half days to climb, which is physically really demanding.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39- You have to stay the night.- You have to stay the night.- On the rock!
0:26:39 > 0:26:44- And they haven't got a B&B. - So you had to make yourself a bed. I think we've got footage of that.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47This is truly remarkable.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51It's such a faff, isn't it? Argh!
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Just need to pull it, so it's...
0:26:54 > 0:26:57- Well, it's quite unstable, isn't it, really?- Yeah.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01OK.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15- OK?- I'm not sure about this!
0:27:15 > 0:27:19- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE - That is truly remarkable.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23What's holding you up?
0:27:23 > 0:27:28- What would you call that? - Well, that is called a portaledge.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30OK.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34But basically, you're sharing a double bed with somebody
0:27:34 > 0:27:37- you've never met. Awkward. - Not for him!
0:27:37 > 0:27:39LAUGHTER Well...
0:27:39 > 0:27:43But it's not just the sleeping. The sleeping's the easy bit.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Well, not that easy when you're at 1,000 feet.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48But it's just the whole thing of, you know, having your evening meal
0:27:48 > 0:27:52and having a chat with somebody you don't know, which is
0:27:52 > 0:27:56absolutely fine, but then obviously you have to have a little wee
0:27:56 > 0:27:58each before you start eating.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00- How do you do that? - Otherwise you can't relax.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03- How do you...? - LAUGHTER
0:28:03 > 0:28:06- How do you have a little wee each? - LAUGHTER
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Um... Well, it goes like this.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12He said, "This is what we're going to do.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13"I'm going to put my iPod on,"
0:28:13 > 0:28:17so he played a nice bit of Elbow and we took it in turns
0:28:17 > 0:28:23- to have the sleeping bag over our head while he went to the loo... - So you weren't looking.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25And then he had the sleeping bag over his head
0:28:25 > 0:28:29while I knelt and...tried to use a she-wee.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32LAUGHTER
0:28:32 > 0:28:36Whoa! Wait a minute! What's a she-wee?
0:28:36 > 0:28:39I've never heard of a she-wee. What's a she-wee?
0:28:39 > 0:28:42It's a contraption... Girls, you know what a she-wee is.
0:28:42 > 0:28:46- AUDIENCE: Yes! - What kind of an audience is this?
0:28:46 > 0:28:48I've got an audience full of she-wees!
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Is this how you get through the recording without going to the loo?
0:28:51 > 0:28:54LAUGHTER
0:28:54 > 0:28:59Well, a she-wee is a funnel device and it's made in such a way that it
0:28:59 > 0:29:03allows girls to pee without pulling down their trousers.
0:29:04 > 0:29:09LAUGHTER
0:29:09 > 0:29:13You're tethered to the rock, like a small dog. Or a big dog, even.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17He's got a sleeping bag over his head, listening to Elbow...
0:29:17 > 0:29:19# One day like this a year... #
0:29:19 > 0:29:23I don't think so! You've got Alex Jones outside, she-weeing!
0:29:23 > 0:29:25LAUGHTER
0:29:25 > 0:29:28- So I have my back to him...- Right, you've got your back to him, he's...
0:29:28 > 0:29:33On my knees. He's there, singing along to Elbow.
0:29:33 > 0:29:37And then you get your she-wee and then you unzip your trousers
0:29:37 > 0:29:41and then you pop the she-wee in the right position...
0:29:41 > 0:29:43Excellent.
0:29:43 > 0:29:49And then, you point the she-wee into a bag of sand.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53- Oh! It disperses into the sand.- No.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55LAUGHTER
0:29:55 > 0:29:58Into a bag of sand that then crystallises,
0:29:58 > 0:30:04so then you can carry your urine with you up the cliff.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06- Do you mind if I chip in?- Go on.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09Why don't you just piss off the mountain?
0:30:09 > 0:30:11LAUGHTER
0:30:11 > 0:30:15My only frame of reference is on the motorway.
0:30:15 > 0:30:20- Oh. Well, it's good for that.- Yeah. The children, when they need a pee and I can't stop,
0:30:20 > 0:30:22I'll throw an Evian bottle back there.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25And then it gets to the point where it's like, "Daddy, it's full!"
0:30:25 > 0:30:29And then it's just all over the leather.
0:30:29 > 0:30:31I've looked round. "Oh, for God's sake, darling!
0:30:31 > 0:30:33"Why are you peeing so much?"
0:30:33 > 0:30:37And then my wife's having to finish her Evian to throw back the Evian.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40And then we forget it's there and six weeks later, I'm thirsty...
0:30:40 > 0:30:45- "Put that down!" It's a nightmare. You don't have children yet.- No.
0:30:45 > 0:30:50- That's my life. Now, Alex, you're Welsh...- Right. - You speak Welsh, don't you?- Oh, yes.
0:30:50 > 0:30:54- Could you speak Welsh, just a little bit, cos it's the finest language? - Be' ti moyn gwbod, Michael?
0:30:54 > 0:30:56- What? - LAUGHTER
0:30:56 > 0:31:01Wel, alla i weud unrhywbeth wrthot ti yn Gymraeg. Ti moyn dysgu peth?
0:31:01 > 0:31:06- Is that what they speak in Pingu? - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:31:06 > 0:31:11Cos we could have a conversation. Let's have a conversation in Welsh.
0:31:11 > 0:31:12OK.
0:31:12 > 0:31:17PRETENDS TO SPEAK WELSH
0:31:17 > 0:31:21O, Michael! Ti'n siarad trwy dy het.
0:31:21 > 0:31:25PRETENDS TO SPEAK WELSH
0:31:27 > 0:31:30Dwyt ti ddim yn neud dim synnwyr cyffredin.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32PRETENDS TO SPEAK WELSH LOUDLY
0:31:32 > 0:31:36Ti'n deall? CONTINUES TO PRETEND
0:31:36 > 0:31:39O! Paid a bod yn gas!
0:31:39 > 0:31:41CONTINUES PRETENDING
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Na welliant. Da iawn, Michael.
0:31:43 > 0:31:46- APPLAUSE - How the hell do you...? Cos no-one else speaks it in Wales.
0:31:46 > 0:31:52- How did you learn that?- Course they do.- Not really.- 600,000, 700,000. - Speak Welsh?- Yeah.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54And how many people are in Wales?
0:31:54 > 0:31:58LAUGHTER About...three to four million.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01Oh, so the others have just gone, "Oh, we'll go with
0:32:01 > 0:32:05"the English." Cos they write it up on every sign, don't they?
0:32:05 > 0:32:09- The thing is... It is quite trendy now. - There's not a lot of vowels in it.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Cos you have consonants back-to-back.
0:32:12 > 0:32:16I see words, entire words, and it's just like... Ds and Gs and...
0:32:16 > 0:32:18Is there a Welsh version of Countdown?
0:32:18 > 0:32:21- LAUGHTER - No, there isn't. Do they just always go, "Nine"?
0:32:21 > 0:32:23LAUGHTER
0:32:23 > 0:32:26"What does it mean?" "I don't bloody know, but I'm sure I've seen it."
0:32:26 > 0:32:28LAUGHTER
0:32:28 > 0:32:29"I've got nine also."
0:32:29 > 0:32:33The Conundrum, they just go, "Yeah, as you are."
0:32:33 > 0:32:34Yeah.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38LAUGHTER
0:32:38 > 0:32:41Alex Jones, this wonderful expedition that you
0:32:41 > 0:32:45did for Sport Relief, risking your mind, body and soul,
0:32:45 > 0:32:48and peeing into a she-wee, how much did you manage to raise?
0:32:48 > 0:32:51I'm not sure what the latest total is,
0:32:51 > 0:32:54but it was over £1.5 million last time we checked.
0:32:54 > 0:32:58CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:32:58 > 0:33:01Alex Jones, thank you so much for coming.
0:33:01 > 0:33:04You were absolutely brilliant. The wonderful, the gorgeous,
0:33:04 > 0:33:09the charitable, the divine, the she-wee using Alex Jones!
0:33:09 > 0:33:11CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:33:11 > 0:33:15Thank you so much. That was brilliant. Amazing.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18- You're amazing. Thank you so much. - Thank you so much.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21- Have a safe journey.- Thank you.
0:33:21 > 0:33:25- Alex Jones, ladies and gentlemen. Absolutely fantastic. - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:33:25 > 0:33:27Oh! Fabulous!
0:33:29 > 0:33:33OK, right. I can see a lurking James Corden.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35Ladies and gentlemen, James Corden is lurking!
0:33:35 > 0:33:38CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:33:42 > 0:33:45That's mine.
0:33:45 > 0:33:50OK. We've had some nice ones come back in.
0:33:50 > 0:33:56My favourite on yours so far is Liam from One Direction says,
0:33:56 > 0:34:00"Time and place, I'm there, giving it big ones."
0:34:00 > 0:34:01LAUGHTER
0:34:01 > 0:34:05We're getting dangerously close to having to have this night out.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Yeah.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10- Bertie Carvel.- Yes, wonderful actor.
0:34:10 > 0:34:16Right. "James? Is that you? Must be. The only big dog I know."
0:34:16 > 0:34:18LAUGHTER
0:34:18 > 0:34:22"Congratulations! Amazing! And richly deserved."
0:34:22 > 0:34:24- Classic actor.- Yeah.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26"Congratulations! Amazing! Richly deserved!
0:34:26 > 0:34:29"My only experience of receiving a lap dance was possibly
0:34:29 > 0:34:32"the most awkward and self-conscious moment of my life.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35"But I'll happily dance for you in celebration.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38"Can't come out to play tonight, but let's make a date.
0:34:38 > 0:34:41"See you at the Olivier's on Sunday."
0:34:41 > 0:34:42LAUGHTER
0:34:42 > 0:34:46APPLAUSE
0:34:46 > 0:34:51- You've got a friend in here called Award.- That's my mother-in-law.
0:34:51 > 0:34:53OK.
0:34:53 > 0:34:57- Oh, shit! - LAUGHTER
0:34:57 > 0:35:01Oh, no, no, no, no!
0:35:01 > 0:35:02The mother-in-law has put,
0:35:02 > 0:35:05"Hey, M, are you sure this was for me?
0:35:05 > 0:35:07"If so, maybe we should talk."
0:35:07 > 0:35:11LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:35:13 > 0:35:17- Then you've got someone called Dude. - That's my brother.- OK.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20He's put, "Are you kidding? Of course I am in!
0:35:20 > 0:35:25"Do you want to do this right now? I think it is happy hour until 10."
0:35:31 > 0:35:35- Who is Rudy?- Rudy is my sister.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38"Classic, Jabrone." Who is Jabrone?
0:35:38 > 0:35:42- It is just what we call each other. Jabrone.- What's that about?
0:35:42 > 0:35:44I don't know. It just happened one day.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47We just started calling each other Jabrone.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50"Although I think a brother-sister lapdance combo
0:35:50 > 0:35:52"would be hashtag 'awks'.
0:35:57 > 0:36:03- "Well done, mate, so proud, love you."- Aaaw!- That's very sweet.
0:36:03 > 0:36:07- David Walliams has come in here. - OK.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10"Congratulations, and so lovely you haven't lost your humility."
0:36:14 > 0:36:18- Classic Walliams. - Who is Will Kitchen?
0:36:20 > 0:36:22He is the guy doing the kitchen.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29"You know what I like but I can't do tonight,
0:36:29 > 0:36:31"I have got work tomorrow morning,
0:36:31 > 0:36:32"but I am liking where your head is at."
0:36:32 > 0:36:35That is not from Will? The guy from the kitchen company?
0:36:35 > 0:36:38- "When are you filming next, and when can we go out?"- Will?!
0:36:38 > 0:36:41He came round once to measure the kitchen!
0:36:43 > 0:36:48- Who is Baco? - "Bay-co." Richard Bacon.
0:36:48 > 0:36:52- Oh, Richard Bacon?- Yeah. - He has put "100 per cent in."
0:36:52 > 0:36:57- No surprise.- "I have a strict policy of never saying no to an invite.
0:36:57 > 0:36:59"Do you mean tonight or next few days?"
0:37:01 > 0:37:03He is ready to go immediately!
0:37:03 > 0:37:06I had no idea this would be so funny.
0:37:06 > 0:37:09He literally got the text and went, "Right, I am out!"
0:37:09 > 0:37:13- Who is Gino D? Is that Gino D'Acampo?- Yes.
0:37:14 > 0:37:18He's put, "WTF?!!" Double exclamation mark!
0:37:18 > 0:37:21"I just asked my son to read me the text as I was busy cooking."
0:37:21 > 0:37:25LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:37:32 > 0:37:37He said, "Daddy, I think the funnyman wants to see you naked."
0:37:37 > 0:37:39"What am I going to say now?"
0:37:39 > 0:37:43Then he has put, "Anyway, tell me when and where and I will be there!"
0:37:43 > 0:37:45- I've got no idea! - And an emoticon wink. One of those.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47APPLAUSE
0:37:47 > 0:37:50- Right, are we swapping back? - Thank you so much.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53Ladies and gentlemen, what a laugh, James Corden.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:37:56 > 0:37:58What a sport!
0:38:01 > 0:38:03My final guest is a true national treasure,
0:38:03 > 0:38:06a television titan, and entertainment legend.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09He has lit up our screens in a record-breaking broadcasting career
0:38:09 > 0:38:11lasting an incredible 74 years.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14He is the King of the Swingers, the Lord of the Dance,
0:38:14 > 0:38:17and a knight of the realm. Didn't he do well?
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Please, ladies and gentlemen, be upstanding,
0:38:20 > 0:38:21for Sir Bruce Forsyth.
0:38:21 > 0:38:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:43 > 0:38:46- Wonderful.- Amazing.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50Don't stop. Stay like that.
0:38:52 > 0:38:55- Sir Bruce, I can't believe you're not doing Strictly any more.- No.
0:38:55 > 0:39:00This was big news. Did you expect it to be such big news?
0:39:00 > 0:39:03No. I didn't expect it to make all the fuss it did.
0:39:03 > 0:39:07Very flattered by all that, it has been marvellous,
0:39:07 > 0:39:10but I'm doing the Christmas show, and I'm doing Children In Need,
0:39:10 > 0:39:12because that's a charity show.
0:39:12 > 0:39:17And the BBC have got a couple of other little things for me to do,
0:39:17 > 0:39:20some specials, that I will love doing as well.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22So why are you stopping now?
0:39:22 > 0:39:25Well, you know, there comes a time when you say, this is...
0:39:25 > 0:39:29You know, you will feel the same in about two years' time.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34You do get to this stage where you think, this is enough.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36And I do get tired.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40Doing live television is very, very strenuous.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44Especially when some of the shows are an hour and 40 minutes long.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47Apart from the strenuous physical activity of hosting the show,
0:39:47 > 0:39:50- you have enjoyed it? - I loved it. It is beautiful...
0:39:50 > 0:39:52- Biggest show on television. - A lovely, lovely show.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54The biggest show on television, yes.
0:39:54 > 0:39:59And I had to think very seriously about giving it up.
0:39:59 > 0:40:03But I know it is better for me, physically,
0:40:03 > 0:40:06I will spend more time with my wife and my family,
0:40:06 > 0:40:10I will be able to have little breaks, which are good.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13And as I say, the live, live, every week, you see,
0:40:13 > 0:40:17and if I made a mistake with the autocue, it is big news.
0:40:17 > 0:40:22"Well, he is 86 years old, he is past it..." And I was getting all that.
0:40:22 > 0:40:26And you don't need that, you know? Who needs it?
0:40:26 > 0:40:28Well, Sir Bruce, I think I speak for everybody
0:40:28 > 0:40:31when I say you will be very badly missed.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34APPLAUSE
0:40:34 > 0:40:39- And I will.- It is a long time.- It is a long time, yes. And I will miss it.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42I will miss it like mad, I really will.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46It was a decision, I would rather do it this year
0:40:46 > 0:40:48rather than wait another year, because you never know.
0:40:48 > 0:40:52Then I was getting the flu. I always got the flu in studios,
0:40:52 > 0:40:54they are so full of germs.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56Be careful!
0:40:56 > 0:40:58So many dancers, so many contestants.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Did you always know who they were?
0:41:00 > 0:41:04No. Especially... I have got to admit this!
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Especially the soap stars.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11But they were, I think the celebrities we have had,
0:41:11 > 0:41:17I mean, it takes, it really does take a lot of guts, to go out there,
0:41:17 > 0:41:21onto a dance floor, and you have never done anything like that,
0:41:21 > 0:41:25and I am indebted to all the celebrities
0:41:25 > 0:41:27that have taken part in Strictly.
0:41:27 > 0:41:32Because it has taken such courage to do that.
0:41:32 > 0:41:35And they have all been wonderful. They really have.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38You will be watching Strictly, I suppose, in the autumn,
0:41:38 > 0:41:42- like the rest of us?- I certainly will. I won't miss one single show.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45We've got a little montage of you hosting Strictly.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Oh, really? Have you really?
0:41:47 > 0:41:50It is nice to see you, to see you...
0:41:50 > 0:41:52ALL: Nice!
0:41:52 > 0:41:56MUSIC: "Let Me Entertain You" by Robbie Williams
0:41:57 > 0:42:01Michael Torbay took his wife to see the West Indies play once.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03I said, "Jamaica?" He said, "If..."
0:42:03 > 0:42:05AUDIENCE GROAN No, just a minute!
0:42:09 > 0:42:12Your thumb, darling. Get it down.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15He was looking at you, asking, "Is it all right?"
0:42:17 > 0:42:20Tell me, Tom, have I still got it?
0:42:20 > 0:42:23Well, yes, Bruce, but it looks a little worn out.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29You're working with a legend, don't you understand that, son?!
0:42:32 > 0:42:34Gangnam style.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39I do apologise. My behaviour was tote inapprops.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42Keep dancing!
0:42:44 > 0:42:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:46 > 0:42:48I will miss it. I will miss it.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53- Now, Bruce, do you know what is so exciting for me to see?- What?
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Just you with an audience.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58- You've spent so much of your life in front of an audience.- Yes, yes.
0:42:58 > 0:43:02And you have got a young crowd, which is wonderful. They really are.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05But you are really entertaining the young crowds now. Glastonbury.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09That's what amazed me about Glastonbury.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11You know, I thought, these young people,
0:43:11 > 0:43:14they will want one of these edgy comedians,
0:43:14 > 0:43:18that get those kind of laughs, maybe swear a bit, and all that.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20You know, I don't do that.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22How did it come about that you performed at Glastonbury?
0:43:22 > 0:43:25I don't know, I don't know how they let me in, but they did!
0:43:25 > 0:43:29- So did they ask you?- Of course they did. For goodness' sake!
0:43:29 > 0:43:32I know you couldn't just walk on!
0:43:34 > 0:43:40- If this is going to be the tone of the interview...- Sorry, Bruce...
0:43:40 > 0:43:43- So, watch it!- What I meant is... This is you in the tent at Glastonbury.
0:43:43 > 0:43:47Oh, yes, that's me. But it was marvellous.
0:43:47 > 0:43:49I was on the Avalon stage.
0:43:49 > 0:43:55It was going on BBC News, Sky News, they had to put the barriers up,
0:43:55 > 0:44:00because people couldn't get in. I was stunned.
0:44:00 > 0:44:05I think it is the most incredible reception, apart from tonight...
0:44:05 > 0:44:08CHEERING
0:44:08 > 0:44:12- ..that I have ever had.- Really? - It was quite amazing, quite amazing.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15- And what kind of stuff did you do? - What I always do.
0:44:15 > 0:44:21I sing, I dance, I get involved with the audience, I play the piano.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23Was it scripted?
0:44:23 > 0:44:28My one-man show I have been doing off and on for years and years.
0:44:28 > 0:44:33- I alter little bits of it now and again.- You are also going on tour.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36So, Bruce Forsyth Entertains.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40That's it. I'm doing three dates. Just to keep my hand in.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Southampton, Bristol and Nottingham. You can see Sir Bruce Forsyth Entertains.
0:44:43 > 0:44:48- APPLAUSE - It will be wonderful.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52When you started on Sunday Night At The Palladium,
0:44:52 > 0:44:53that was the pinnacle.
0:44:53 > 0:44:55A wonderful atmosphere.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58And still probably the greatest theatre
0:44:58 > 0:44:59that we've got in England.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01It is a beautiful theatre.
0:45:01 > 0:45:06I went there the other day, doing this thing, life stories, Sammy Davis Jr.
0:45:06 > 0:45:09- Oh, yes.- And of course, we worked together.- Perspectives.
0:45:09 > 0:45:13- Perspectives, yes. 25th May. - 25th of May on ITV.
0:45:13 > 0:45:17You can always tell when a theatre is really special,
0:45:17 > 0:45:19when you go there when it is empty,
0:45:19 > 0:45:22because it still has an atmosphere.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25You can still feel. Like the Albert Hall.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28It comes right around. I thought, "That will be so difficult to work."
0:45:28 > 0:45:31It comes right around so you have got the audience very close.
0:45:31 > 0:45:34You think it is remote, but it isn't.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37Tell me about Sammy Davis Jr.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40Believe me, this man was incredible.
0:45:40 > 0:45:43He was the ultimate entertainer.
0:45:43 > 0:45:48I have just been watching some of his archive material and it is stunning.
0:45:48 > 0:45:54It is amazing how beautifully worked... He does a gun routine.
0:45:54 > 0:45:59- Have you ever seen...? - Yes.- Eh? You are lying!
0:46:01 > 0:46:04No, I haven't seen his gun routine. I'm familiar with his work.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07Sammy Davis Jr.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10He's Sammy Davis's son!
0:46:10 > 0:46:13Do you remember Sammy Davis Sr?
0:46:13 > 0:46:16- Of course I do, I know all the Sammy Davises!- Now you are lying!
0:46:16 > 0:46:21- I know all the Sammy Davises! - Because I've never seen him myself!
0:46:21 > 0:46:23Another of your heroes was Fred Astaire,
0:46:23 > 0:46:24who was also an incredible mover.
0:46:24 > 0:46:26He was incredible.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29I suppose, as a dancer, you're interested in how people move,
0:46:29 > 0:46:32- you spot that.- Spot it straightaway. And you can tell...
0:46:32 > 0:46:35How do you move then, Bruce? As a dancer.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38You want to see me walk? You can tell by the walk.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41How does a dancer walk, compared to a normal person?
0:46:41 > 0:46:44Well, a dancer, normally a dancer will walk, usually a bit more,
0:46:44 > 0:46:47- shall we say, turned out?- OK.
0:46:47 > 0:46:51If they are ballet dancers, they walk like this.
0:46:51 > 0:46:55Fred Astaire had a great walk. He sort of, really...
0:46:59 > 0:47:01- That's a great walk. - Was that like Fred?
0:47:01 > 0:47:04APPLAUSE
0:47:04 > 0:47:07So, tap dancing, Bruce. I was wondering if...
0:47:07 > 0:47:10Tap dancing, I'll teach you a little bit of tap dancing.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12Would you like a little bit of tap dancing?
0:47:12 > 0:47:14CHEERING
0:47:17 > 0:47:20Before we sit down, brief little start.
0:47:20 > 0:47:22Here we are.
0:47:22 > 0:47:26- Just do, toe, toe...- Yeah.- Toe, heel, and everything I do, you do. OK?
0:47:26 > 0:47:28- All right.- And then you'll do...
0:47:35 > 0:47:37OK?
0:47:37 > 0:47:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:47:42 > 0:47:47- So...- So we are sitting? Tap dance sitting?
0:47:47 > 0:47:49We hear a bit of music, then I do a little step,
0:47:49 > 0:47:52and then the next time you hear the music, you do the same step.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55- OK.- Follow me, and everything will be all right.- I will do that.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57Good. Cue music.
0:47:57 > 0:47:59PIANO PLAYS
0:48:03 > 0:48:05Go!
0:48:22 > 0:48:24No, not yet!
0:48:25 > 0:48:26Now you do it!
0:48:28 > 0:48:30Good. Left foot, right.
0:48:32 > 0:48:34Twirl!
0:48:36 > 0:48:39One, two, three.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:48:42 > 0:48:44- You're a dancer!- It has happened!
0:48:44 > 0:48:47Thank you so much. Thank you, Bruce.
0:48:47 > 0:48:52- Thank you very much.- Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Bruce Forsyth!
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Legend!
0:48:54 > 0:48:57- Thank you. That was such fun. - Thank you so much.
0:48:57 > 0:48:59Sir Bruce Forsyth!
0:48:59 > 0:49:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:49:07 > 0:49:11Tremendous. OK, thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen.
0:49:11 > 0:49:13All that remains is for me to thank all my guests,
0:49:13 > 0:49:15the wonderful James Corden!
0:49:15 > 0:49:17What a wonderful guest. A wonderful sport.
0:49:17 > 0:49:19How dare he do that to me?
0:49:19 > 0:49:22The beautiful and gorgeous, Alex Jones!
0:49:22 > 0:49:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:49:25 > 0:49:27And the legend himself, Sir Bruce Forsyth!
0:49:27 > 0:49:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:49:30 > 0:49:32Thank you so much for watching at home.
0:49:32 > 0:49:34We will be back later in the year with more
0:49:34 > 0:49:35of Michael McIntyre's Chat Show.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37Until then, thank you, bravo!