Christmas Special 2011

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06Cheesy snacks... Got the nuts, got the crisps.

0:00:06 > 0:00:08Oh, I hope people turn up.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16FRENETIC MUSIC

0:00:17 > 0:00:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Thank you, guys.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Hello! Hello.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41No, stop...

0:00:41 > 0:00:47That's enough. I don't know if I've got enough to go round.

0:00:47 > 0:00:52Come on now. Come on. Have these. Pass them around.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55There we are. They're not all for you, love. Look at that.

0:00:55 > 0:01:00- A lovely fancy dress audience. - AUDIENCE CHEER

0:01:00 > 0:01:02Yes!

0:01:02 > 0:01:07I love it. YOU could have made more of an effort. Stick that on.

0:01:07 > 0:01:11Look at this couple here. It's like WWII all over again.

0:01:11 > 0:01:16Look at that. ..Same to you, you cheeky bugger!

0:01:16 > 0:01:20Now there are two people who are very much in fancy dress.

0:01:20 > 0:01:25Just look up there. There's a nurse. I'm going to say it - a sexy nurse.

0:01:25 > 0:01:32- It's Zoe and Rich, isn't it?- Yeah. - Now those costumes have significance for you, don't they?- They do.

0:01:32 > 0:01:36We met at a fantasy sex... uh, fancy dress party!

0:01:47 > 0:01:51- So you're not a real nurse, then? - No, I'm not.- We have real nurses.

0:01:51 > 0:01:57- We have some from Maidstone. Where are the Maidstone...? Now is that Nikki on the end?- It is.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Hello, Nikki.- Hello.- Hello.

0:02:00 > 0:02:06- A little bird told me there's somebody you have a crush on. - I don't know who that would be.

0:02:09 > 0:02:14- You're a bit older than me, though. - What did you say? WHAT did you say?

0:02:14 > 0:02:19- You're slightly older than me. - Slightly older?!

0:02:19 > 0:02:24How dare...?! Look what you've done to my voice!

0:02:24 > 0:02:30- Now you've had to work over Christmas, I suppose.- Yep. - At which hospital in Maidstone?

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Maidstone.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37No, don't applaud that. No, no.

0:02:39 > 0:02:47My house band for this evening is the fantastic Alejandro and the Magic Tombolinos.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51Excellent stuff. Now then...

0:02:51 > 0:02:54- DOORBELL RINGS - Oh! Just on cue.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57It's my first guest.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Who can it be?

0:03:00 > 0:03:03LIVELY MUSIC

0:03:08 > 0:03:10CHEERING

0:03:19 > 0:03:21Noel Fielding!

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Wow! What a crowd!

0:03:24 > 0:03:26- Hello!- Ohh.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29Noel Fielding!

0:03:29 > 0:03:31CHEERING CONTINUES

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Now...

0:03:35 > 0:03:40- That's a hell of a welcome, isn't it?- Look at that crowd! - Well...

0:03:40 > 0:03:46- To you, they're just dressed normally.- It's the Guess Who board. I'm loving it.

0:03:46 > 0:03:50Wow, there's some freaks in. LAUGHTER

0:03:50 > 0:03:56- I'll get straight to the point. This is what you'd wear normally. You haven't come in fancy dress.- No.

0:03:56 > 0:04:01I've just come from work, actually! I just thought I'd...

0:04:01 > 0:04:07- I'm trying to make my hair and coat sort of join.- So we don't know where one ends and one begins?

0:04:07 > 0:04:10Like a sort of Camden owl. LAUGHTER

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Now then, where does your style come from?

0:04:15 > 0:04:20- Em...- And this sounds rude, but were you always like this?

0:04:20 > 0:04:27- I guess so. My mum's quite stylish. - Yeah.- My dad used to be. In the '70s, he'd wear mental clothes.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30Like yellow flares and tops with stars on them,

0:04:30 > 0:04:36- then he went quite straight in the '80s.- You had young parents. Your mum was 18?- Yeah, really young.

0:04:36 > 0:04:42So they were really cool and dressed like they were in Black Sabbath.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46Then all of a sudden in the '80s my dad got quite square.

0:04:46 > 0:04:51"That's enough of yellow flares. I'll just wear a shirt and some leisure trousers."

0:04:51 > 0:04:55He just stopped, but my mum carried on.

0:04:55 > 0:05:01- Where was this?- In South London. What was hilarious was they had this three-wheeler car

0:05:01 > 0:05:05called a Bomb Bug. An orange thing and the roof went up like that.

0:05:05 > 0:05:12So not only did they wear yellow flares and had a three-wheeled orange triangle car...

0:05:12 > 0:05:18- I was just a laughing stock! - It sounds like you grew up in a cartoon, didn't you?

0:05:18 > 0:05:25It was a bit like Roobarb and Custard, yeah. It sort of wobbled as well.

0:05:25 > 0:05:29They'd come in their triangle car. HUMS "Roobarb" THEME

0:05:29 > 0:05:33You have had a reputation as what I would call a party animal.

0:05:33 > 0:05:39- Is that fair?- I do like a party, yeah. Who doesn't?

0:05:39 > 0:05:43I've seen you photographed out and about on the Camden scene,

0:05:43 > 0:05:48- staying up beyond midnight. Is this true?- Ten past one.

0:05:48 > 0:05:53- That's my record.- Don't you feel terrible the next day?

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Yeah.

0:05:55 > 0:06:00You mean the day after the next day. The next day you're still up.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03CHEERING You feel good the next day.

0:06:03 > 0:06:10Well, what...what would a typical evening involve if I came along with you?

0:06:10 > 0:06:14If I rang and said, "Noel..." You pick it up by mistake.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17"It's Rob. Hi. You came on my show.

0:06:17 > 0:06:23"You said we could go out to Camden together. It's half six now. Em...

0:06:23 > 0:06:28"I've left it a bit late. I've just had my dinner.

0:06:30 > 0:06:35- "Where shall we meet?" Where would we meet?- I don't know... LAUGHTER

0:06:35 > 0:06:38In a forest. I'd send someone out for you.

0:06:38 > 0:06:43Now your new show is even weirder than the Boosh.

0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Yeah.- It really is.- In a way. - Oh, in every way.

0:06:47 > 0:06:54I wanted a slightly different image so I thought maybe Bollywood Elvis would be good. I'd get a butler,

0:06:54 > 0:06:59but he can be an anteater and... my best friend's got four arms.

0:06:59 > 0:07:03Is it the next step from the Boosh, would you say?

0:07:03 > 0:07:08I think for me. Julian wanted to go off and do some straight theatre and explore that.

0:07:08 > 0:07:16I wanted to get hold of the animation side of it. We'd the Moon and the 2D animation in the Boosh

0:07:16 > 0:07:20and I wanted to see how far you could take that.

0:07:20 > 0:07:26So the guy that I work with did the Moon and animation in the Boosh. And I met him at art school.

0:07:26 > 0:07:34- The brief was to try to make the most psychedelic, weirdest show ever.- You've fulfilled your brief.

0:07:34 > 0:07:37- DOORBELL - Oh! Noel, Noel...

0:07:37 > 0:07:39It's Noel's House Party!

0:07:39 > 0:07:43I wonder who THIS could be.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56CHEERING

0:07:56 > 0:07:58Hello!

0:07:58 > 0:08:03Look at you! Hello. ..Sarah Harding!

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Look at you.

0:08:07 > 0:08:08Hi.

0:08:08 > 0:08:15- Look at this. You two know each other, I assume? - Yeah, well, kind of.- Yeah.

0:08:15 > 0:08:19- What does that mean?- We're passing ships. We've met a few times.

0:08:19 > 0:08:24- You were on tour somewhere and we... - Yeah.- Yeah.- And one time I don't remember.- No, I don't.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28- Yeah.- It was a crazy night. LAUGHTER

0:08:28 > 0:08:35- Ten past one, Rob! - I've had similar experiences with Ronnie Corbett

0:08:35 > 0:08:38where the two of us are smashed off our tits.

0:08:38 > 0:08:42Literally no memory of what time we left the golf club.

0:08:44 > 0:08:50So it seems silly to ask you if you're a party girl. Don't you try to deny it!

0:08:50 > 0:08:56- Slightly retired. I'm a country bumpkin now.- You moved to the country. Is that a real thing?

0:08:56 > 0:08:59It's not like a stage! It's real.

0:08:59 > 0:09:04- I've got a veggie patch and everything.- A veggie patch?

0:09:04 > 0:09:10- It's not a euphemism, Noel. So you're out in the country and you're acting more now.- I am.

0:09:10 > 0:09:15- Is that as big a thing as the music? - I think music's my first love.

0:09:15 > 0:09:20I couldn't ever not do music. But acting, yeah, totally. Love it.

0:09:20 > 0:09:26I nearly wanted you. We had you in the top three for St Trinian's with Ricky from Kaiser Chiefs.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30- Did he do it in the end? - Yeah. You weren't available.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32LAUGHTER

0:09:32 > 0:09:37- Cheers(!) - That was a narrow miss.- Yeah.

0:09:40 > 0:09:47- What did you do before you became fabulous? You were a beautician? - I was a beauty school dropout.

0:09:47 > 0:09:51Oh, lovely. From Grease. Now you're getting down to my level.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55So that means you can look at people and make judgments.

0:09:55 > 0:10:00- Be very honest.- OK.- Noel Fielding, Rob Brydon. Two out there guys.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04If you had to... Give me a minute. If you had to pick,

0:10:04 > 0:10:09if you had to single out one for being a little bit styly...

0:10:09 > 0:10:14Oh, I don't know. It depends whether I like smart guys or Camden guys.

0:10:14 > 0:10:19- Suddenly there's a rivalry between us.- I like a bit of both.- Do you?

0:10:19 > 0:10:22- Oh...! - LAUGHTER

0:10:22 > 0:10:29- Did I? I wasn't, was I? - I just didn't imagine I'd be having a threesome with Rob Brydon.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33- Of all the people!- Please don't say it like it was a terrible thought.

0:10:33 > 0:10:38That superinjunction cost a lot of money.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40DOORBELL

0:10:51 > 0:10:53LAUGHTER

0:10:54 > 0:10:56It's Rhys Darby!

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Welcome. Wow!

0:11:03 > 0:11:08- Rhys Darby, ladies and gentlemen. Have a seat.- Hi! How are you?

0:11:08 > 0:11:14Rhys Darby from Flight of the Conchords. Now then, everybody tonight has come dressed up

0:11:14 > 0:11:19because it's party time. Are you a big partygoer?

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Oh, I'm king of the parties.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24- Really?- Not really. - LAUGHTER

0:11:24 > 0:11:30Did you used to go...? Do you remember at the school disco at the end of the night,

0:11:30 > 0:11:35all having a great time, and then they'd play Happy Christmas (War Is Over)?

0:11:35 > 0:11:41# So this is Christmas... # And that was when all your mates would pair off with girls

0:11:41 > 0:11:48and I would be stood at the edge of the dance floor with my nose pressed against the window pane.

0:11:48 > 0:11:55A metaphorical window pane. Or were you one of the boys who managed to nab a girl

0:11:55 > 0:11:59- for that important last dance/snog? - Well, I'll admit

0:11:59 > 0:12:02I'm a keen dancer.

0:12:02 > 0:12:08And...and what I lacked in the initial, social, conversational period

0:12:08 > 0:12:15I would more than make up for once the song's come on. I really clear my own space.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17You can ask anyone

0:12:17 > 0:12:21and I am probably the hottest dancer that I know.

0:12:21 > 0:12:25Well, Rhys, I mean, we have a band.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28We have a rug.

0:12:28 > 0:12:33- What a Christmas treat... - What a treat! - ..if you would bust some moves

0:12:33 > 0:12:36- to give us a... - CHEERING

0:12:36 > 0:12:43- I mean, guys, anything. What tempo would suit you, Rhys? - You want upbeat.- They can do upbeat.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45They do nuclear.

0:12:45 > 0:12:50- They go very fast.- Have you got any Jive Bunny and the mastermixes?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55- There he goes. - FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:13:15 > 0:13:16Wow!

0:13:18 > 0:13:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Thank you!

0:13:28 > 0:13:31Are you on medication?

0:13:31 > 0:13:34- LAUGHTER - No.

0:13:34 > 0:13:39Everybody loves Flight of the Conchords and I loved Murray.

0:13:39 > 0:13:44- Your character was sublime. Will we see more of him?- Well...

0:13:44 > 0:13:51I would love to say yes and I certainly can't say no. I'd hate to think he wouldn't be done again.

0:13:51 > 0:13:56Was it something that the boys...? Do you need half an hour to catch your breath?

0:13:56 > 0:14:03Well, you saw what I just did! I did that and then straight away with another question!

0:14:03 > 0:14:06"Tell us about your mother."

0:14:06 > 0:14:13- All right.- The Conchords, it started off for most audiences here as a radio show.- Yeah.

0:14:13 > 0:14:18Then it became the TV show for HBO and that took you to Hollywood.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21- Yeah.- How did that come about?

0:14:21 > 0:14:23We did the Conchords on HBO,

0:14:23 > 0:14:26so even that was very popular.

0:14:26 > 0:14:31It was on a cable channel, so there were so many millions of people that never saw it,

0:14:31 > 0:14:36but of course, when it came out on DVD, a lot of people saw it after that.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39- On the one DVD? - There's two DVDs now.

0:14:39 > 0:14:42- You pass the DVDs around? - We pass them round.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Yeah.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47So all the cast and crew saw it.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50And then word got out, you see.

0:14:50 > 0:14:54It was big in the comedy circles. You're familiar with those circles.

0:14:54 > 0:14:58Yes, I am. We're going to talk more in a little minute,

0:14:58 > 0:15:04but just sit back and relax now and please welcome the very, very funny Charlie Baker!

0:15:04 > 0:15:06APPLAUSE

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Hello!

0:15:14 > 0:15:18That's very nice of you. That's enough. I might be rubbish!

0:15:18 > 0:15:22Hello, I'm Charlie Baker. I'm waiting for Jack Black to die.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24LAUGHTER

0:15:26 > 0:15:31I've only ever met a couple of very famous people.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34Jay-Z, Jay-Z, the world's biggest rapper, Jay-Z.

0:15:34 > 0:15:40I don't know about you, but if I see someone famous, I have a little voic in the back of my head

0:15:40 > 0:15:43that goes, "There's Jay-Z there.

0:15:43 > 0:15:47"There's Jay-Z, the world's biggest rapper. There he is.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49"Go and speak to Jay-Z. Go on.

0:15:49 > 0:15:53"Say something to him. Show him your cardigan. Do something."

0:15:53 > 0:15:58I've got to say something to Jay-Z, so I said this, ladies and gentlemen

0:15:58 > 0:16:01I said this to the world's biggest rapper. "Jay-Z!"

0:16:03 > 0:16:05LAUGHTER

0:16:05 > 0:16:11I went for a high five with the world's biggest rapper. I'm thinking "You look a right knob now!

0:16:11 > 0:16:16"You look an absolute penis here! He's not going to give you a high five."

0:16:16 > 0:16:21But he did. He gave me the high five Bang, yeah, pretty good!

0:16:21 > 0:16:23APPLAUSE Come here. Come here.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Come here, look.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Whoa! Feel pretty good now, don't you?

0:16:28 > 0:16:32It's in a sort of six degrees of separation way, right?

0:16:32 > 0:16:36You have just touched the hand that's touched the hand

0:16:36 > 0:16:38that has touched Beyonce's knockers.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42Yeah, pretty good, eh? Have another go. Go on, go on.

0:16:42 > 0:16:46Get lost, she's not a slag. She's not a slag.

0:16:46 > 0:16:51If you liked it, you should've put a ring on it. It's your own fault.

0:16:51 > 0:16:56I've been in pantomime, but the one thing I did learn, and I'm going to teach you tonight,

0:16:56 > 0:16:58is the three secret moves.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02There's three secret dance moves. They're brilliant.

0:17:02 > 0:17:08You'll go to any panto this Christmas or any am-dram show and you'll see these three moves.

0:17:08 > 0:17:14Here's the first move you require if you want to be in any amateur dramatics dance show - the side sway

0:17:16 > 0:17:18LAUGHTER

0:17:20 > 0:17:25The second one is a bit more difficult. It's the box step.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27LAUGHTER

0:17:29 > 0:17:33And the third one is my own personal favourite - the knee bounce.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36LAUGHTER

0:17:36 > 0:17:38APPLAUSE

0:17:39 > 0:17:45The reason they use these moves is because they work for any show tune at all.

0:17:45 > 0:17:49What was that? Luck Be A Lady, a bit of Guys And Dolls.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52# Luck be a lady tonight

0:17:52 > 0:17:55# Luck be a lady tonight

0:17:55 > 0:17:59# Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with

0:17:59 > 0:18:02# Luck be a lady tonight... # APPLAUSE

0:18:02 > 0:18:05A bit of Oklahoma! Here we go.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08A bit of Rodgers and Hammerstein.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10# Oh, what a beautiful morning

0:18:10 > 0:18:14# Oh, what a beautiful day

0:18:14 > 0:18:16# I got a beautiful feeling

0:18:16 > 0:18:18# Everything's going my... #

0:18:18 > 0:18:21What's that? Christmas. Here we go.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25# Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way

0:18:25 > 0:18:29# Oh, what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh... #

0:18:29 > 0:18:32It's a bit camp, that one.

0:18:32 > 0:18:37Have a happy Christmas. I'm Charlie Baker. Good night! Thank you very much!

0:18:37 > 0:18:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Charlie Baker! Thanks, Charlie.

0:18:48 > 0:18:53Now then, Rhys, do they have Christmas in New Zealand?

0:18:53 > 0:18:56- We do.- Yeah?- We do, of course.

0:18:56 > 0:19:00- Big Christmas, family?- Yes, of course. It's like it is here.

0:19:00 > 0:19:06It's... It's very confusing in New Zealand on that side of the world because it's summer.

0:19:06 > 0:19:11- Yes.- As you can imagine, it's the opposite of what's going on here.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14It's the opposite of winter, isn't it?

0:19:15 > 0:19:17- Yes. - LAUGHTER

0:19:17 > 0:19:22And yet our culture is the same, so we get all the same Christmas songs

0:19:22 > 0:19:28and all the same sort of festive affair that you have here with the snow.

0:19:28 > 0:19:32- Which makes it even more confusing. - Exactly.

0:19:32 > 0:19:36So we have people that spray fake snow on all the windows

0:19:36 > 0:19:38and it's a bit sad.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43You have your own children now. Two, is that right?

0:19:43 > 0:19:47Do you put out a little carrot for the reindeer?

0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Well, yes.- I do that as well.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54We had to move houses because our first house didn't have any chimney

0:19:54 > 0:20:00and so the younger son Finn who was four at the time said, "Santa can't get here."

0:20:00 > 0:20:03So we had to shift.

0:20:03 > 0:20:08He's one of these kids that says, "There's no logical way Santa could get in here

0:20:08 > 0:20:10"and I'm going to miss out."

0:20:10 > 0:20:17We said, "He comes through the door of houses that don't have chimneys." "No, he doesn't."

0:20:17 > 0:20:22So we had to actually shift which was a shame because we had a great house.

0:20:22 > 0:20:26Now we've got a much smaller house, but it's got a massive chimney.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29He gets loads of presents, so he's happy.

0:20:29 > 0:20:35What people may not know about you, I was amazed to find out, is that you were in the New Zealand Army.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Oh!

0:20:37 > 0:20:39APPLAUSE

0:20:39 > 0:20:42They don't believe it.

0:20:42 > 0:20:47What is the purpose of the New Zealand Army? Are you keeping Australia at bay?

0:20:47 > 0:20:54- What does it do?- It's a small army, but we do the same thing every army does, except, I guess...

0:20:54 > 0:20:59Look, when I was in there, there was a lot of rescuing sheep, to be honest.

0:20:59 > 0:21:02LAUGHTER

0:21:02 > 0:21:05We didn't fight in any conflicts in the last ten years.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08What was your role? Infantryman, paratrooper?

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Oh, no, I was a signaller.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14A signaller? So...beep-beep-beep.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18- Yes, Morse Code. - Beep-beep-beep, beep-beep-beep.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21Oh, thanks very much(!) That's a bit rude!

0:21:21 > 0:21:25Doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, dee-dee, doo-doo-doo-doo!

0:21:25 > 0:21:27APPLAUSE

0:21:28 > 0:21:30DOORBELL

0:21:30 > 0:21:33LIVELY FOLK MUSIC

0:21:36 > 0:21:38APPLAUSE

0:21:38 > 0:21:41It's Angelos Epithemiou!

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Welcome. How are you? All right, come on in.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Come on in. Thank you very much.

0:21:51 > 0:21:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Angelos, please, have a seat.

0:22:01 > 0:22:06I will sit here, but I am not supposed to be anywhere near this woman.

0:22:08 > 0:22:14- Why?- I've taken out a restraining order on her because she will not leave me alone.

0:22:14 > 0:22:19- What are you talking about? - It's phone calls, it's faxes, it's emails.

0:22:19 > 0:22:24You have got to get it in your head it is never going to happen!

0:22:24 > 0:22:27APPLAUSE

0:22:28 > 0:22:33If she promises not to bother you, will you join us?

0:22:33 > 0:22:35- Don't touch me!- I won't.

0:22:35 > 0:22:40Now, I have to ask you... Sarah, Sarah... Let's not involve the authorities.

0:22:40 > 0:22:47- You're winding me up. Whoa! - The first thing I have to ask you is what's in your bag?

0:22:47 > 0:22:51Well, in the bag tonight, I've got all sorts of rubbish.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54I've got... I've got this

0:22:54 > 0:22:56which is me.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00- So you don't get recognised?- I just bung it on people's faces like that,

0:23:00 > 0:23:04then I've got some idea of what it's like to talk to me.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07LAUGHTER It's good fun.

0:23:09 > 0:23:12Now then, I know you through Vic and Bob.

0:23:12 > 0:23:14- Yes.- How are they?

0:23:14 > 0:23:17I don't know. I don't see them.

0:23:17 > 0:23:21We do not socialise outside of the show

0:23:21 > 0:23:27because I have not forgiven them for tricking me into doing it in the first place.

0:23:28 > 0:23:33How have you been celebrating Christmas? What would be a typical Christmas for you?

0:23:33 > 0:23:37I would celebrate Christmas usually with me family.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40With me mum and me dad and me four brothers -

0:23:40 > 0:23:44Agatheus, Agamemnon, Apostolos and Algerius, right?

0:23:46 > 0:23:51We'd go round the house and celebrate it there, but I haven' heard from them since September,

0:23:51 > 0:23:56so I don't know what's happening this year. I think they'll call me.

0:23:56 > 0:24:01I have been round to their house and it's all boarded up, so I don't know what's going on.

0:24:01 > 0:24:06But they'll ring me in due course to let me know the festivity arrangements.

0:24:06 > 0:24:11- I look forward to it as well. - Did...- Hold on a second. A question from Sarah.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15- You can come to mine if you want. - Hmm?- Come to mine if you want.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18This is exactly what I'm talking about!

0:24:21 > 0:24:23Will you leave it alone?

0:24:23 > 0:24:29- I'm only being polite.- We had that one night in the Holiday Inn.- Yes.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31And we both agreed you was rubbish.

0:24:31 > 0:24:36You didn't know what you were doing, fumbling around,

0:24:36 > 0:24:39so from now on, it's just a "no"!

0:24:39 > 0:24:44You've got to be brutal because she'll only, backstage, flash me her bits and I don't want to see it.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48It's Christmas. Everybody's in the party spirit.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50Are you a party man yourself?

0:24:50 > 0:24:54Yeah, big time, big time,

0:24:54 > 0:24:58because people want me to come to their parties all the time.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02They look at me and they go, "Yeah, I like the look of him."

0:25:02 > 0:25:06Oh, yes, yes. But what's going on upstairs?

0:25:06 > 0:25:11That's what they want to know and there's a lot going on up there.

0:25:11 > 0:25:14I like to talk about things like music

0:25:14 > 0:25:19and other stuff and politics and all that sort of stuff.

0:25:19 > 0:25:23You'd be in the kitchen in the party, not cutting a rug like Rhys?

0:25:23 > 0:25:30No, I'd just be in the kitchen having a chat and all that sort of carry-on and holding court.

0:25:30 > 0:25:34- That's what I'd be doing.- And no sor of music would tempt you out?

0:25:34 > 0:25:38- Not at all.- Not even if it was Tiger Feet by Mud?

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Well, that would tempt me out, yes.

0:25:40 > 0:25:45Or Fox On The Run by Sweet or anything from the '60s or 'the 70s.

0:25:45 > 0:25:48Pretty much anything I'll go and dance to, actually.

0:25:48 > 0:25:53I hate being in the kitchen at parties. I'm no good at it.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56Do any of you have party tricks that you do?

0:25:56 > 0:26:01Any little things that you can sort of just...? Yes, yes, Rhys?

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Take that. Listen to this.

0:26:04 > 0:26:07Two, two, testing.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09That's not it, is it?

0:26:09 > 0:26:11What I'll do is I'll do...

0:26:11 > 0:26:17For the festive season, I'll do the sound effects of Santa arriving

0:26:17 > 0:26:20at the top of the house

0:26:20 > 0:26:25and then coming down the chimney to put the presents under the tree.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28Here he comes. Santa arriving, folks.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32MAKES FAST GALLOPING SOUND

0:26:36 > 0:26:38MAKES THUMPING SOUNDS

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Ohh! Aagh!

0:26:48 > 0:26:50COUGHS

0:26:50 > 0:26:52Ho ho ho!

0:26:52 > 0:26:55- APPLAUSE - Very good.

0:26:58 > 0:27:01That was... That was special.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04So we're heading to a new year.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07What does it hold for my guests tonight?

0:27:07 > 0:27:11Rhys, where will you be? Which hemisphere will you be in?

0:27:11 > 0:27:16- It's hard to say. You don't know what's round the next corner. - More movies?

0:27:16 > 0:27:20Yes, films, television, a book as well.

0:27:20 > 0:27:23- Reading or writing? - LAUGHTER

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Yeah, uh, reading.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28You're just planning to buy a book.

0:27:28 > 0:27:32Well, we wish you luck with that.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35- Angelos? - I'm just going to put me feet up.

0:27:35 > 0:27:39I've got about 70 episodes of Crimewatch to get through.

0:27:39 > 0:27:43I've had them recorded since 1994 an you don't get the time to watch 'em.

0:27:43 > 0:27:47You can't catch up cos they're always making new ones,

0:27:47 > 0:27:49so I'm going to watch them

0:27:49 > 0:27:54and I'll just be living off the profits of my DVD what is out now.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56CHEERING

0:27:56 > 0:28:01On that festive note, let me say a big thank you to all my guests tonight.

0:28:01 > 0:28:04Thanks to everybody who has joined in our special festive party.

0:28:04 > 0:28:07To finish, we shall have some music!

0:28:07 > 0:28:10APPLAUSE

0:28:16 > 0:28:18LIVELY FOLK MUSIC

0:28:19 > 0:28:20CHEERING

0:28:58 > 0:29:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:01 > 0:29:06Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2011

0:29:06 > 0:29:08Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk