0:00:02 > 0:00:04# There's no business like show business...
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Tonight is a show business spectacular.
0:00:06 > 0:00:09We have comedy from Nina Conti.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11APPLAUSE
0:00:11 > 0:00:13We'll be getting musical with The Script.
0:00:13 > 0:00:19And chatting to the all-singing, all-dancing Matt Lucas.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:21 > 0:00:24It's show time.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Oh!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Welcome! Thank you!
0:00:40 > 0:00:44Thank you very much. Thank you.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Welcome to the show, welcome to the show, thank you very much.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Thank you. Ooh, there we are, straight away. Lady with a tattoo.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- What is your name?- Cindy.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55- Cindy. Hello, Cindy.- Hello, Rob.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58- Don't tell me what you do, don't tell me. Beautician!- No.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- What?- I'm a roofer.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03LAUGHTER
0:01:04 > 0:01:08I didn't finish. Beautician of the top of people's houses.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12- Yes!- You're not seriously a roofer? - Fascias, soffits and guttering.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14I didn't get any of that.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Are you from London?
0:01:16 > 0:01:20- What? What? - Fascias, soffits and guttering.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Again, I'm sorry, absolutely nothing.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24It's the bit just underneath the roof.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- The house?- Yeah.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28LAUGHTER
0:01:28 > 0:01:33"It's the bit just underneath the roof." Where I come from, love, that is the house.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- That's the house.- That little bit on top of the house, the roof.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42We've got a David here, where's David? Hello, sir.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Now, you, there's something special about you.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49- I've been told that you're a bit psychic.- A little bit psychic, yeah.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52That's how you describe yourself? "A little bit psychic"?
0:01:52 > 0:01:57Not the full Uri Geller. "I'm a little bit psychic." What does that mean?
0:01:57 > 0:01:58If I don't sleep all night,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01when I wake up in the morning and put the news on,
0:02:01 > 0:02:04it usually means that somebody famous has died.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06WOMAN GASPS
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Ooh, there was a chill went round the room then.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Well, give us an example.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13It started when Princess Diana died.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17- Oh, no, really?- And the most recent was when Osama Bin Laden died.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20No! Can I ask you, just from a personal point of view,
0:02:20 > 0:02:22did you get a good night last night?
0:02:22 > 0:02:23LAUGHTER
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Seriously? And does it always happen if you've had a bad night's sleep?
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- It does, yep. - WOMAN GASPS
0:02:32 > 0:02:33LAUGHTER
0:02:33 > 0:02:37We've found the most easily shocked woman in Britain.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Who was it who did the big intake of breath?
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- You know who it was. - Was it you?- Yes.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- What's your name, shockable?- Katie.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- Katie.- Yes.- Katie the Shocked.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49I'm just fearful for your own life.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Well, he has said he got a full eight hours last night.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55So if you've had a bad night's sleep,
0:02:55 > 0:02:58you must genuinely wake up a bit scared.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Yeah, for somebody's life, yeah.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Yeah, yeah, ooh, it's very upsetting. Very upsetting indeed.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07We've got somebody special here tonight. A VIP. We have a president.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09We have Mr President. Where are you?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12It's Kevin. Hello, Kevin.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13- Hello, how are you? - Kevin Beresford.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Tell everybody what you are the president of.
0:03:16 > 0:03:21I'm the president of the UK Roundabout Appreciation Society.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22LAUGHTER
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Is this shared by family? Does your wife like the roundabouts?
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Er, she's left me, actually.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43All right, all right, come on, Kevin, hold it together.
0:03:43 > 0:03:48Did she say, "I'm fed up, we're just going round and round in circles"?
0:03:48 > 0:03:49I mean, what do you want?
0:03:49 > 0:03:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:51 > 0:03:54And how many members have you got?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Just me at the moment.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01That's not a society, Kevin, that's you.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Very nice to have you with us. Thank you very much.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10That takes us on very nicely to my first guest.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13His shows are the highest-rating comedies on television,
0:04:13 > 0:04:17he's a triple BAFTA winner, and now he's the toast of the West End.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21Please give a massive welcome for the brilliant Matt Lucas!
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Hello.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35How are you? Nice to see you.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Hello, there, everybody.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Thank you.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Hello there, I enjoyed that.
0:04:41 > 0:04:47- Should I keep this button done up or not?- I always undo cos Terry Wogan always undid his.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50But this is a bit high. I've gone a bit old man, you see.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53So I'm not sure whether to...
0:04:53 > 0:04:57- I think that's fantastic. We should...- You like that? I'll do it if you do it.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00We'll do it for the interview.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02You can go up higher than that.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Well, maybe, I'll see how the interview goes.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08When I phoned you up to ask you to come on the show,...
0:05:08 > 0:05:11- Yes.- ..I wasn't phoning you in North London.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14You were in LA, and you're there lots now, aren't you?
0:05:14 > 0:05:20Um, yeah, I split my time between the two. This is home, though, obviously.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24So who are you hanging out with? Cos I saw a photo of you...
0:05:24 > 0:05:28This was so impressive. I showed it to my wife, "Look who he's with!"
0:05:28 > 0:05:30You were with David Beckham and Tom Cruise.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Er, yes, that did happen because...
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I wasn't accusing you of it. LAUGHTER
0:05:36 > 0:05:38No, well, you see, the thing is,
0:05:38 > 0:05:43I feel slightly strange going onto a chat show and saying, "Oh, yeah, my friends Tom and David"
0:05:43 > 0:05:49because really, the man who brought me and David over to America to do Little Britain over there
0:05:49 > 0:05:52is this man Simon Fuller, and he's a very nice man,
0:05:52 > 0:05:56and he said, "Do you want to come and watch LA Galaxy play?"
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- That's the football team that Beckham plays for?- Yes.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03So I went along. But I was sat in the seat behind Tom Cruise.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08Was he stood up on the seat jumping up and down so you said, "Get down, man, I can't see."
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Oh, he'll never block your view. Trust me.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15- He's not a tall man.- How tall? - One foot.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19So he's literally, what, he's like that?
0:06:19 > 0:06:23- He's one foot. - What, shorter than me?- No.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28So how tall, then? Cruise?
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Really? It's Tom Cruise? - Yeah, how tall? How tall?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33I'm six one so... LAUGHTER
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Well, honestly, he's probably about...
0:06:36 > 0:06:38(HIGH-PITCHED) Well, that's shorter than me!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Lower voice than you.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Well, I'm upset.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- So you're telling me that Cruise is there?- Yeah.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Wow. I picture him there.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51- So he's like this. (AMERICAN ACCENT) Man,- love- your movie, man!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53That's right, yeah, he is like that, yeah.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55- Oh, man, I'm- stoked!
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Yeah, like really...
0:06:57 > 0:07:01- Yeah!- Yeah. - Is that what he's like?- Yeah.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02Wow. Wow.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04But a nice guy?
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Well, I've only met him twice.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Whoo!- And he was... - I'm so jealous, Matt.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Really? - Yeah, I'd- love- to meet Tom Cruise.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Well, you probably won't, but...
0:07:15 > 0:07:17LAUGHTER
0:07:20 > 0:07:22So you're not going over there for good, are you?
0:07:22 > 0:07:28I don't like to think of you as being one of those people who leaves us and goes all Hollywood.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Well, look at me, I'm fat and pale. How Hollywood am I going to go?
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- It's not really going to happen. - Matt, three words. Danny DeVito.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37LAUGHTER
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Now then, you can do any accent, can't you?
0:07:41 > 0:07:45You do them on Little Britain and Rock Profile and stuff. You are brilliant.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Thank you very much. Well, you can do... Welsh.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51But you can, though.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Some, I can do some. Shout out an accent, and I'll try and do it.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59- West Indian.- (WEST INDIAN) No, shout out an accent and I try and do it.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01But I probably do it quite badly.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05But this is the great character in Come Fly With Me, Precious.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09(WEST INDIAN) We got no coffee! We got no coffee!
0:08:12 > 0:08:16What about... I'm just going to ask you to do greatest hits now.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20I loved when you were the drugs counsellor in Little Britain.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24(SCOTTISH) That's right, Doug Ramsay. Don't forget to be everything you're not
0:08:24 > 0:08:26as well as everything you are.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29He would just talk rubbish. Just rubbish.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33(SCOTTISH) You're nothing! You're a disgrace! Get out! Sit back down.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37- Something like that, right?- Yeah, I love that.- It was a fun character.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38Where does that come from?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40I don't know. The only thing,
0:08:40 > 0:08:44some people see it and identify it as a great skill,
0:08:44 > 0:08:47and I'm very flattered.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49But I can't drive.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50LAUGHTER
0:08:50 > 0:08:53And there's things I can't do that everyone else can do.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- Ahh.- No, don't patronise me, it's pure laziness.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00- It's pure laziness on my part.- Yes.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02I can do funny voices and funny faces, look.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Which is the camera? This one?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08But I can't drive.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Why can't you drive?
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Cos I'm a bit of a sort of daydreamer and I just worry...
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Like, if I go and have a wee, I'm not joking,
0:09:16 > 0:09:20I go and have a wee, I'm there 15 minutes before I remember,
0:09:20 > 0:09:23"Oh, no, I was supposed to do a wee, wasn't I?"
0:09:23 > 0:09:24My mind just drifts off.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28So I'm just worried that I'll be driving and I'll be thinking,
0:09:28 > 0:09:31"Oh yeah, you know, I'm sure the Topic I just ate
0:09:31 > 0:09:35was a bit smaller than the Topics I used to eat when... Smash!"
0:09:35 > 0:09:38James Dean all over again.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40I called you "the toast of the West End",
0:09:40 > 0:09:43because that's kind of what you've become, you're doing Les Mis now.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46I'm in Les Miserab-luh. Les Miserabe.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47(FRENCH) Les Miserables.
0:09:47 > 0:09:52- I theenk eef you are like me, you just say, Les Miserables.- OK.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56- It means "the miserables", doesn't it?- No, it doesn't.- Yes, it does.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00- No, it doesn't. - What does it mean?- It means... something else I can't remember.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Of course it means that. Les Miserables!
0:10:04 > 0:10:09- No, it doesn't, it means "the wretches". - Yes, it does, you're right.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Matt, does this mean goodbye to comedy?
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Well, the role itself is quite funny, hopefully.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19Who do you play? I play Thenardier the innkeeper, who sings this big song Master Of The House.
0:10:19 > 0:10:25- # Master of the house # - # Doo bee doo bee doo # - That's all I know.- It's all- I- know!
0:10:25 > 0:10:30- It's a great part.- Well, they're making a film of it so that was your audition as far as I'm concerned.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33- Are you going to be in the film? - No idea.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37I'm assuming I won't. I'm assuming they'll have a big Hollywood star.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40I'm assuming Justin Bieber will play my role.
0:10:40 > 0:10:45Can I ask you about musical theatre in the form of musical theatre?
0:10:45 > 0:10:46Oh, all right, yeah.
0:10:46 > 0:10:51So I'll say, (SINGS) "Oh, Matt". Don't snigger.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54(SINGS) Oh, Matt, oh, Matt, when you were young,
0:10:54 > 0:11:00you used to have so much fun with theatre, is it true?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Yes.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03LAUGHTER
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Yeah.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14(SINGS) Actually, as a child, I enjoyed Guys And Dolls.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I was in Guys And Dolls. Did you ever act in it?
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- (SINGS) No. - No, we're speaking now.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Oh, right, OK.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- I played Sky Masterson in Guys And Dolls.- Did you?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27# They call you Lady Luck
0:11:27 > 0:11:30# But there is room for doubt
0:11:30 > 0:11:37# At times you have a very un-lady-like way of running out
0:11:37 > 0:11:40# You're on this date with me
0:11:41 > 0:11:43# The bookings have been lush
0:11:43 > 0:11:45What?!
0:11:45 > 0:11:53# And yet, before this evening is over, you might...
0:11:53 > 0:11:55# Give me the brush
0:11:56 > 0:11:58# You might forget your manners
0:12:00 > 0:12:04# You might refuse to stay
0:12:04 > 0:12:08# And so the best that I can do
0:12:08 > 0:12:10# Is pray
0:12:10 > 0:12:11Whoa!
0:12:11 > 0:12:13APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:12:13 > 0:12:17Ladies and gentlemen, Matt Lucas.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Time now for some music.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Their debut album sold over two million copies,
0:12:26 > 0:12:28they've recently had a Brit Award nomination,
0:12:28 > 0:12:32and best of all, their music has been played on EastEnders.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Ladies and gentlemen, The Script!
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Hey, guys.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42How are you?
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- Welcome. Welcome.- Thank you very much.- Thanks for coming on.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Big fans, big fans.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49I pick up a little lilt to the voice there.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54- A bit of an accent.- A little lilt. What part of Wales are you from?
0:12:54 > 0:12:58- What, are you Dubliners?- Yeah, all born, bred and starved in Dublin.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Now, you've worked with some of my heros. You've done stuff with U2.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06We supported them in our national stadium in Ireland, yeah.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08That's just pinch-me stuff, isn't it?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11It was great to play for our own audience as well.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Well, their audience, but we pretended it was ours.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Now, here's a question about U2. Bono.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Tiny.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- Where is he?- You want to go for it?
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Good God!
0:13:25 > 0:13:30- I was listening earlier, and if he's six foot four, what does it make me? - You're a freak.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34But where's Bono? Don't look over my head.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Where is he?
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- I'd say he's about there, yeah. Yeah, about there.- Yesss!
0:13:39 > 0:13:43- You can't see his heels either, can you?- Nothing wrong with those!
0:13:43 > 0:13:45They're good for your back.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Tom Cruise and Bono.
0:13:47 > 0:13:48Tell us about the new album.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51It's almost a continuation of the first album.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55We didn't feel we said enough on the first album, so we came back.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- Can I ask a question?- NO!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59LAUGHTER
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Yes, please, Matt.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Question from the young lad over there.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Um, Matt. Um, have you met Jedward?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08LAUGHTER
0:14:09 > 0:14:15Where do you think I get my hair from? They're copying me, you know.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Now, why don't we do a song? I'm gifted, musically.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22I know you're big fans of Bowie. So am I.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Why don't we do something together? Are you up for it?
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Ladies and gentlemen, The Script! Let's do it. Let's do it.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Right, come on, let's see everybody clapping for this one.
0:14:40 > 0:14:41In time.
0:14:45 > 0:14:50# I, I wish you could swim
0:14:51 > 0:14:54# Like the dolphins
0:14:54 > 0:14:57# Like dolphins can swim
0:14:58 > 0:15:00# Though nothing,
0:15:04 > 0:15:07# We can beat them
0:15:07 > 0:15:09# For ever and ever
0:15:10 > 0:15:14# And we can be heroes
0:15:14 > 0:15:18# Just for one day
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Come on, ho, ho, ho! Lift it up!
0:15:23 > 0:15:29# Oh, oh, oh, yeah
0:15:30 > 0:15:32# And I
0:15:33 > 0:15:35# I will be king
0:15:36 > 0:15:42# And you, you will be queen
0:15:43 > 0:15:50# Though nothing, nothing will drive them away
0:15:50 > 0:15:52# We can be heroes
0:15:52 > 0:15:54# Just for one day
0:15:54 > 0:15:56# Just for one day
0:15:56 > 0:15:59# Oh, we could be heroes
0:15:59 > 0:16:03# Just for one day, yeah
0:16:03 > 0:16:06# La di dah, di dah, di dah, di dah
0:16:06 > 0:16:08# La di dah, di dah dah dah
0:16:08 > 0:16:09Come on!
0:16:09 > 0:16:12# La di dah, di dah, di dah, di dah
0:16:12 > 0:16:15# LA LA LA LA LA LA!
0:16:15 > 0:16:18# Just for one day
0:16:18 > 0:16:22# Just for one day
0:16:23 > 0:16:25# Yeah! #
0:16:28 > 0:16:32(NORTHERN ACCENT) Thanks very much. We are The Script. Thank you.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41I don't know what you're looking so happy about.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43- Thank you for that, Matt. - That's all right.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45TESTS MICROPHONE
0:16:45 > 0:16:47LAUGHTER
0:16:48 > 0:16:51We'll have more of them later,
0:16:51 > 0:16:55but for now, please say a big thank you to the brilliant Script.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56CHEERING
0:16:58 > 0:17:04Now, it's time for a comedian who's loved by audiences wherever she goes.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Please welcome the brilliant Nina Conti!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Thank you very much!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Hello!
0:17:17 > 0:17:21What a lovely crowd. I think I should introduce you to my monkey.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25- Come on out, monk, we're here.- What? - After three. One, two, three.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Hullo. Hullo. Hey.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29That was lacklustre.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32No, it was fine. So do you want to get out of the bag?
0:17:32 > 0:17:36- Yes. Well, there's no going back. - No, there's no going back.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40So, I wanted to start by saying that most ventriloquists...
0:17:40 > 0:17:41- Are dead.- What?!
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- Or at least lonely.- No, monkey.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Look at you standing there trying not to move your mouth.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49What a loser.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Um, that's not what I was going to say.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55- Most ventriloquists... - Can't afford to feed their kids.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Monkey, shut up! Most ventriloquists...
0:17:57 > 0:18:02- Die on cruise ships. - Monkey! Am I going to get to the end of my sentence
0:18:02 > 0:18:04or are you going to interrupt me?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06How would you not know that, Nina?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Can you not, please?
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Oh, that's nice.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16- Oh, the showbiz crowd.- Yeah.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18So, monkey, what do you fancy doing tonight?
0:18:18 > 0:18:22- I think I'll hypnotise you. - No, I don't want to do that.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24- Sing a song. - No, monkey, I can't sing!
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Oh, what a dead weight. I carry her, you know.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- So, um, no, not that. - Hypnosis, then.
0:18:31 > 0:18:32So what do I do?
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- You should sit on the stool provided.- This one?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37- Yes.- Do you want to sit on that?
0:18:37 > 0:18:40- What is it?- Something they cooked up for you to sit on.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42It couldn't look less like a tree.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47- We'll put it down a bit.- OK. You want me to support it with my head.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48LAUGHTER
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- Right, how does it work?- I'm going to count from three to one.- Mm-hm.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- And when I get to one, you'll be asleep.- OK.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08- Why are you laughing?- I don't know. - At your own jokes?
0:19:08 > 0:19:11I'm laughing because it's, you know...
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Apologies. I don't really believe in this kind of thing.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17And yet you think I'm real?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20OK, I'm going to go with it. I'll go with it.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24OK, three, you're suddenly feeling quite tired.
0:19:24 > 0:19:25Yeah.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Two, your eyes are beginning to close.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Let them close.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35One, you're now in a deep level of trance.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41LAUGHTER
0:19:45 > 0:19:47APPLAUSE
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Oh!
0:20:11 > 0:20:13What happened?
0:20:13 > 0:20:14I couldn't talk!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16What do you expect?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19I don't know, I hadn't thought it through.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22We're going to do it again.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24How's it going to be different?
0:20:24 > 0:20:28This time I want you to retain the part of your brain where I reside.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Bloody hell. OK, I'll try.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32It's about the size of a tangerine.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35OK, I think I can do it.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38OK, three, you're suddenly feeling tired.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- Yeah.- Two, your eyes are closing.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42One, you're in a trance.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47Don't lose me, don't lose me. Testing, testing.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50OK, we're cooking with gas.
0:20:50 > 0:20:55Now, Nina, if you can hear me, I'd like you to raise your finger.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58No, not on this hand, you idiot.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07On the other hand so they can all see. Can you hear me?
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Yeah, that'll do.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11OK, now, earlier, you said you couldn't sing.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Well, that doesn't mean I can't.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18So I'm going to take this opportunity to sing an aria.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Can I have the soundtrack, music guy?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24MUSIC: "Nessun Dorma" by Puccini
0:21:26 > 0:21:27This is quite ambitious.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33If you don't get to sing very often, you've got to go for a classic.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36# Dilegua, o notte!
0:21:36 > 0:21:41# Tramontate, stelle!
0:21:41 > 0:21:43# Tramontate, stelle!
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Wow, that's low.
0:21:45 > 0:21:51# All'alba vincero
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Breathe, Nina.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55# Vincero
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Breathe, Nina, I'm dying here.
0:21:57 > 0:22:04# Vincero! #
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Thank you very much.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15- Oh, God. OK. - Thank you very much, good night.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Thank you very much.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23The brilliant Nina Conti. Thank you, Nina.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26- Now then, Matt.- Yes.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30We are going to hand things over now to our audience here.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32It's time for their questions.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Also, the people of Twitter.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37This is from tristanh23.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41He says, out of your Little Britain and Come Fly With Me characters,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43who is the most fun to portray?
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Well, (ANDY) That one...
0:22:46 > 0:22:50is fun because I get to sit down.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Marjorie Dawes is fun.
0:22:52 > 0:22:57(MARJORIE DAWES) She says things I would never dare even think, let alone say.
0:22:57 > 0:22:58I think you would think them.
0:22:58 > 0:23:03I think they're suppressed in your mind, and they come out as Marjorie.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07No, all the evil things come from Walliams, as you well know.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08I can't comment on that.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10In Come Fly With Me, I like to play,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13(TAAJ) I get a lot of fun doing Taaj though, isn't it?
0:23:13 > 0:23:17- I like doing that one, isn't it, you get me?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21In the audience, where's Katie Power? Where are you, Katie?
0:23:21 > 0:23:27- There. Oh, it's Katie.- Katie Power! It's like a cartoon character. "I wish I had Katie Power."
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Matt, I spoke to her earlier. You really don't.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Katie, what is your question for Matt?
0:23:33 > 0:23:37Well, I've read that Cheryl Cole is the only woman you'd consider dating.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Is that true?
0:23:39 > 0:23:44Um, well, I said that she could turn me, definitely.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Um, I think... Er, Judy Finnigan.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Well, it's interesting for me,
0:23:52 > 0:23:56the film I just did, I had Saffron Burrows and Juno Temple,
0:23:56 > 0:24:00two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen... No disrespect, Katie Power.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02..molesting me in one scene.
0:24:02 > 0:24:07And the scene happened, and I looked down, and I went, "Yep, I am definitely gay."
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Where's Claire Ryan? Where are you, Claire?
0:24:09 > 0:24:11What's your question for Matt?
0:24:11 > 0:24:15Has Derren Brown really got a head of you in his toilet?
0:24:15 > 0:24:20- Yes, he has.- Now, hang on, he didn't get ahead of you, as in get ahead of himself.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23He does because when David and I went to America
0:24:23 > 0:24:25to make Little Britain USA,
0:24:25 > 0:24:29there was a sketch in which I played a robot and my head fell off.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32So a brilliant to-scale version of my head was made,
0:24:32 > 0:24:36but it felt a little bit narcissistic for me to keep it,
0:24:36 > 0:24:40and Derren Brown came to my house and said,
0:24:40 > 0:24:44"I'd love to have that in a jar in my house",
0:24:44 > 0:24:47and so I gave it to Derren Brown.
0:24:47 > 0:24:52And then I said... They obviously spent a lot of money making this head,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55and Derren does amazing paintings,
0:24:55 > 0:24:57so I said, "I'd love one of those paintings",
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- and he went, "Certainly", and he- sold- me one.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04- You're serious?- Yeah.- And you gave him the head?- I gave him the head.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Well, I'm going to give you... Oh, no.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Congratulations. Good joke, sir. Well done.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15I've got a gift for you, sir. Yes, let's put it that way.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17- Have you?- Yeah, seriously.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Wahey!
0:25:20 > 0:25:22- It's my head.- It is.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26- And that's for you. - Thank you, look at that.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30Just put it there, Matt, just in case we edit it out. Thank you.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35I've got a splitting headache.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Ladies and gentlemen, please show your appreciation for the fantastic Matt Lucas.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Thank you very much.
0:25:43 > 0:25:50And I'd also like to say a huge thank you to Nina Conti
0:25:50 > 0:25:54and now, from the album of the same name, it's The Script with Science And Faith!
0:25:54 > 0:25:55CHEERING
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Ho! Ho!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07# Tried to break love to a science
0:26:07 > 0:26:09# In an act of pure defiance
0:26:09 > 0:26:12# I broke her heart
0:26:12 > 0:26:14# I broke her heart
0:26:14 > 0:26:16# And as I pulled apart her theories
0:26:16 > 0:26:18# As I watched her growing weary
0:26:18 > 0:26:21# I pulled her apart, yeah
0:26:23 > 0:26:25# Having heavy conversations
0:26:25 > 0:26:27# About the furthest constellations
0:26:27 > 0:26:29# Of our souls, yeah
0:26:29 > 0:26:31# Ooh
0:26:31 > 0:26:34# And we're just trying to find some meaning
0:26:34 > 0:26:36# In the things that we believe in
0:26:36 > 0:26:40# But we got some ways to go
0:26:40 > 0:26:44# Of all the things that she's ever said
0:26:44 > 0:26:49# She goes and says something that just knocks me dead
0:26:49 > 0:26:54# You won't find faith or hope down a telescope
0:26:54 > 0:26:58# You won't find heart and soul in the stars
0:26:58 > 0:27:02# You can break everything down to chemicals
0:27:02 > 0:27:08# But you can't explain a love like ours
0:27:08 > 0:27:12# Ooooh
0:27:12 > 0:27:14# It's the way we feel
0:27:14 > 0:27:17# Yeah, this is real
0:27:17 > 0:27:21# Oooh
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# It's the way we feel
0:27:24 > 0:27:27# Yeah, this is real
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Come on! Ho! Ho!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37# I tried pushing evolution
0:27:37 > 0:27:39# As the obvious conclusion
0:27:39 > 0:27:41# Of the start, yeah
0:27:43 > 0:27:46# But it was for my own amusement
0:27:46 > 0:27:49# Saying love was an illusion
0:27:49 > 0:27:52# Of a hopeless heart
0:27:52 > 0:27:56# Of all of the things that she's ever said
0:27:56 > 0:28:00# She goes and says something that knocks me dead
0:28:00 > 0:28:05# You won't find faith or hope down a telescope
0:28:05 > 0:28:10# You won't find heart and soul in the stars
0:28:10 > 0:28:14# You can break everything down to chemicals
0:28:14 > 0:28:20# But you can't explain a love like ours
0:28:20 > 0:28:24# Oooh
0:28:24 > 0:28:29# It's the way we feel, yeah, this is real
0:28:29 > 0:28:33# Oooh
0:28:33 > 0:28:38# It's the way we feel, yeah, this is real
0:28:39 > 0:28:43# Oh, ooh-oh
0:28:43 > 0:28:44Come on!
0:28:45 > 0:28:48# Ooh, ooh-oh
0:28:48 > 0:28:51# Oh, ooh-oh
0:28:52 > 0:28:54# Oh, yeah
0:28:55 > 0:28:58# Oooh #
0:28:58 > 0:28:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:29:03 > 0:29:04Thank you so much, guys.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Brilliant, really good. The Script!
0:29:06 > 0:29:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:08 > 0:29:11Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk