0:00:01 > 0:00:05Welcome to The Rob Brydon Show! Tonight, comedy from Celia Pacquola!
0:00:07 > 0:00:10Music from the brilliant Beverley Knight!
0:00:11 > 0:00:15And what do you get if you cross a rock god, a monkey and a Trekkie?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Bill Bailey!
0:00:33 > 0:00:38Good evening and welcome to the show! Ho-ho-ho!
0:00:38 > 0:00:39Hiya! Welcome!
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Thank you! Welcome to the show!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43What an audience!
0:00:43 > 0:00:47Look at this! This is, I mean, look! Look!
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Beautiful people!
0:00:49 > 0:00:51With a few exceptions. No!
0:00:51 > 0:00:56Look, ooh, there's a smart business-looking lady, caught my eye already.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Waistcoat. Sort of working girl - not working girl!
0:00:59 > 0:01:02What is your name, my love?
0:01:02 > 0:01:07- Joanne.- And what do you do, Joanne? - I'm a beauty therapist. - Beauty therapist?- Yes.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- You've got a look of someone about you.- I've been told, yes.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- Who?- Victoria Beckham.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15No, no, not her! No.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18- Victoria Beckham.- Yes. - Yes, I suppose you have a bit.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20And do you act upon this?
0:01:20 > 0:01:24- Yeah, I joined a lookalike agency. - Have you? Wow!
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Can you go as a duo and be husband... Not really, no.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32- Can you do the voice?- No.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36I know for a fact we have someone in the audience tonight
0:01:36 > 0:01:39who does something with their voice. I think it's Richard.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Ooh, look at you, Richard!
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Did you lose the jacket?
0:01:42 > 0:01:46POSH VOICE: It's rather hot in here, so I've dressed down.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Oh, I say!
0:01:48 > 0:01:51All of a sudden it's My Fair Lady!
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- What is your vocal claim to fame? - When I was a kid,
0:01:55 > 0:01:59my voice was recorded for a kids' "Learn to read and spell" scheme.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Really? Just for children who lived in manor houses, surely?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Talk us through how it worked. - You've got a card
0:02:08 > 0:02:11with a word on it like dog or cat or grass
0:02:11 > 0:02:16and you swipe it through the machine and my 11-year-old voice would say, "Dog." "Cat." "Grass."
0:02:16 > 0:02:21- In my recollection, those machines are normally American.- Often, yes.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22I'd like to see a Welsh one.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- "Spell..." - SAYS DIFFICULT WELSH WORD
0:02:26 > 0:02:30F... R...
0:02:30 > 0:02:32"Bloody wrong!"
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Now, we've got people here celebrating a wedding anniversary.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38How many years?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- 21.- What's your name?- Gaby.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Gaby. 12 years married, ladies and gentlemen.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Gaby, who's your husband? What's his name?
0:02:48 > 0:02:53- Alan.- Hello, Alan. Well done. Gaby, I've got something for you. Come and get it.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Whoa! Don't bum-rush the stage, love!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04That's hip hop talk, for any older viewers.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06There we are. Biscuits.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Congratulations, yeah?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Aren't you going to offer them round, love?
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Don't just hog the biscuits! Share them around!
0:03:25 > 0:03:29No wonder they've been married so long. They're so into each other!
0:03:29 > 0:03:33Thank you very much for coming along. A round of applause.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36Now, then, coming up,
0:03:36 > 0:03:40I will be talking to the super-talented Beverley Knight.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42But now, time to welcome my first guest.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44He's fantastic. He sells out arenas,
0:03:44 > 0:03:49he's played the Royal Albert Hall with a full orchestra and he's passed his Grade 6 clarinet!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Please welcome Bill Bailey!
0:04:10 > 0:04:14All those things I said in the intro were musical, weren't they?
0:04:14 > 0:04:19- Yes.- I didn't know you're as much a rock star as you are a comedian.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- That's very kind of you to say. - But you are.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24You've been playing massive gigs.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26It does feel like a rock gig sometimes.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30You're standing there with a foot on the monitor, in a huge arena.
0:04:30 > 0:04:35- Is that what you wanted to do first? - It was. My first love was music.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I always thought I'd be in a band of some kind.
0:04:38 > 0:04:43I had a very specific aim that I would be the keyboard player in Talking Heads.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48I didn't really make any effort to get in to Talking Heads at all.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50I didn't contact them in any way.
0:04:50 > 0:04:55- I just played the piano with the window open, in the West Country of England.- Hoping.
0:04:55 > 0:05:01Hoping that Talking Heads might drive past. "What's that? That guy's great!"
0:05:01 > 0:05:06But the music thing, it was going to be... You were thinking of it as a career.
0:05:06 > 0:05:11- Did you do any musical jobs?- I did. I got a job as crematorium organist.
0:05:11 > 0:05:18- Seriously?- There were various organists. Some of them were so bad. Just dreadful.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22It seemed to be a bit undignified. The coffin coming in
0:05:22 > 0:05:25and this sort of, # Da-da-da-da buh-buh-buh #
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Terrible.- What were they playing? - Wrong notes...
0:05:28 > 0:05:31# Da-da da-da da-da-da-da! #
0:05:33 > 0:05:37A march! SINGS THE MONTY PYTHON THEME TUNE
0:05:37 > 0:05:38And I would play the jazz.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41# Da-da-da-da-da da! #
0:05:41 > 0:05:43But just to kind of take the edge off it.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45- I've had all kinds of jobs. - Now, then,
0:05:45 > 0:05:47I know that you're a punk at heart
0:05:47 > 0:05:49and that comes through. You had a punk band.
0:05:49 > 0:05:54- Yes.- What were you called? - We were a punk band called Beer Gut One Hundred.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- A clever play on words with... - Yes.- ..Haircut One Hundred.- Yes.
0:06:02 > 0:06:07- Me and a bunch of guys would play punk cover versions.- Yeah.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09For laughs.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13- Proper gigs?- Proper gigs, yeah. - Really? What sort of songs?
0:06:13 > 0:06:16We'd do the classic punk oeuvre.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20We'd do songs by The Stranglers and Sex Pistols and all that.
0:06:20 > 0:06:26But we'd also try and do songs that you wouldn't imagine hearing in the punk idiom.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28I've got my punk guitar here.
0:06:28 > 0:06:33I'll demonstrate. You can actually play a show tune
0:06:33 > 0:06:36in a punk style and it actually sounds great.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38There's the lyrics. Try it.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40This is from Annie!
0:06:42 > 0:06:44- You know the song? - The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47So sing it in the punk idiom.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- SWEETLY:- # The sun'll come out tomorrow
0:06:51 > 0:06:53# Bet your bottom dollar... #
0:06:53 > 0:06:56No, no. You've got to sing it with a bit of aggression.
0:06:56 > 0:07:01- PUNK STYLE: # The sun'll come out tomorrow - Betcha, betcha bottom dollar
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- # That tomorrow - That's it. Pick the edges.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- # There'll be sun - Better! Better!
0:07:07 > 0:07:10# When I'm stuck in a day that's grey and lonely
0:07:12 > 0:07:15# I just stick out my chin and grin and say, "Oi!
0:07:15 > 0:07:19# Tomorrow, tomorrow
0:07:19 > 0:07:21# I love you, tomorrow
0:07:21 > 0:07:26# You're only a day away
0:07:26 > 0:07:28# Tomorrow
0:07:28 > 0:07:29# Tomorrow
0:07:29 > 0:07:32# I love you, tomorrow
0:07:32 > 0:07:36# You're only a da-a-a-ay
0:07:36 > 0:07:39# Aw-a-a-ay
0:07:39 > 0:07:43# Aw-a-a-a-ay! #
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- You're going on tour in the autumn. - I am.- Dandelion Mind.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Yes.- And is this tour going to take in the heights of the Albert Hall?
0:08:02 > 0:08:07- Because you've played the Albert Hall with a full orchestra.- That's right.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11I was trying to recreate the moment when I first went to a classical concert.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13The hairs on the back of the neck were going.
0:08:13 > 0:08:19It'd be great to get my audience, a comedy audience or younger audience to come and experience that.
0:08:19 > 0:08:24Perhaps in a way that they wouldn't expect. That was the aim of it.
0:08:24 > 0:08:29And it was great. The Albert Hall is an amazing venue.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32A fantastic place to play. They've all been there.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37- Frank Sinatra played there.- I've played there. I hosted the insurance awards there one year!
0:08:37 > 0:08:44- Now, I would like us to attempt something musical. So would you join me?- Yes, I would.
0:08:44 > 0:08:49Over here. We've got something very special waiting for us.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Um.- Yes.- What have we got here, Bill?- Well,
0:08:52 > 0:08:56I'd like to present... This is the actual...
0:08:56 > 0:09:01- These are real Swiss cow bells? - These are tuned Alpine cow bells. - Right.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03AUDIENCE GASPS
0:09:04 > 0:09:07It's like the Generation Game prizes. "Wooo!"
0:09:07 > 0:09:10"What the hell have..."
0:09:10 > 0:09:13We've got a guitarist with us, Chester. Thank you, Chester.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Bill, I thought it would be lovely - I'm a big Elvis fan.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18I know what a muso you are.
0:09:18 > 0:09:25It would lovely to sing an Elvis song. Now, I'm not sure this is the perfect instrument to accompany it!
0:09:25 > 0:09:28I'll just embellish your vocal styles.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37# Maybe I didn't love you
0:09:39 > 0:09:43# Quite as good as I should have
0:09:44 > 0:09:45COW BELL TINKLES
0:09:45 > 0:09:48# Maybe I didn't hold you
0:09:49 > 0:09:53# Quite as often as I could have
0:09:53 > 0:09:54TINKLING
0:09:54 > 0:09:59# Little things I should have said and done
0:09:59 > 0:10:00TINKLE
0:10:00 > 0:10:03# I just never took the time
0:10:05 > 0:10:09# You were always on my mind
0:10:11 > 0:10:14# You were always on my mind
0:10:17 > 0:10:21PLAYS EXACT TUNE WITH BELLS
0:10:33 > 0:10:38# Little things I should have said and done
0:10:38 > 0:10:42- # I just never took the time - ECHOES MELODY
0:10:44 > 0:10:48You were always on my mind
0:10:49 > 0:10:52# You were always on
0:10:52 > 0:10:56# My mind. #
0:10:56 > 0:11:00PLAYS PERFECT OUTRO TO SONG
0:11:08 > 0:11:10APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Thank you, Chester.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22Bill Bailey!
0:11:25 > 0:11:30Time now for some music. She's had 13 Top 40 singles,
0:11:30 > 0:11:36she's an MBE, and best of all, she's been on Loose Women six times! Please welcome Beverley Knight!
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- Beverley!- Hey, Rob!- How are you?
0:11:48 > 0:11:52- Good. How are you? - Lovely. Mr Bill Bailey.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- How are you?- I'm very good.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Please have a seat.- Thank you.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59MBE?
0:11:59 > 0:12:04- I know!- That's quite something. Have you got an MBE, Bill? - No, not on me.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- When you got this honour, this decoration, was it the Queen? - It was!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12- It's not always the Queen.- No. No.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17- I had her, but sometimes you get stuck with Prince Charles. - Prince Charles.- Whoever.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- I don't really fancy that. - So she's a little lady.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24She's little, dead cute. She's like a little granny going to bingo.
0:12:24 > 0:12:29- She had a little...- Well, Beverley, she's not really, is she?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32She's not like a little granny going to bingo. Maybe like a little granny,
0:12:32 > 0:12:37but I doubt she's ever gone, "House! I've got all the bloody numbers!"
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Soul is what you're known for and what you're celebrated for.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46And you've got a new album of soul covers, yeah?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49- Yes, but with a twist. - What's the twist?
0:12:49 > 0:12:53It's British soul and only British soul.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Who counts as British soul? Who are the favourites?- For me,
0:12:56 > 0:12:58people like Omar.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02- And George Michael. You might think, "Uh?"- Really?
0:13:02 > 0:13:06- But that voice is soulful.- Got George in there?- That is a soulful singer.
0:13:06 > 0:13:13- So I thought I'd shine the spotlight on some British soul artists. - Is it underrated, British soul?
0:13:14 > 0:13:18When you say soul, you think of Americans, Luther Vandross, you know.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Of course. And that's right.
0:13:21 > 0:13:27But we were busy building a little soul empire of our own over here.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31I can't believe when you think of soul you think of Luther Vandross!
0:13:31 > 0:13:35- What do you think of him?- You could have had Aretha Franklin, you know!
0:13:35 > 0:13:39- Yes.- You could have had King Curtis, or...- Hang on a second.
0:13:39 > 0:13:40- Hang on a second.- Sorry.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44I suppose when you think of soul, you think of people like...
0:13:48 > 0:13:53I was trying desperately hard and the only one that came to mind was Luther Vandross!
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Luther Vandross!
0:13:55 > 0:14:00- I was aware...- Soul singers like James Blunt, and you know...
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- The Krankies!- We're moving on, we're moving on.
0:14:03 > 0:14:09- So, you're a big Prince fan?- A big Prince fan.- You've not just worked with him, you're quite pally?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Sorta kinda kinda sorta!
0:14:11 > 0:14:15How did you come to work with him? You've sung with him many times.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18I was asked to open for him when he did his shows at the O2.
0:14:18 > 0:14:24I did my performance and came off the stage
0:14:24 > 0:14:29and got an applause from his band who were watching - I didn't know they were watching.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33And then somebody grabbed me by the arm, spun me round and it was him!
0:14:33 > 0:14:39- And he said, "I want you to come sing at my after show. You gotta do it."- Wow!
0:14:39 > 0:14:45- And I was like, "OK!"- Wow! But you grew up as a fan, so to work with him was beyond your wildest dreams.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48I cannot begin to explain.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51I'm a big fan. He's in my repertoire. See if you know this.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56# I was working part time at a five and dine
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- # My boss was... # - Hang on, love, it's not a duet!
0:15:02 > 0:15:07Are you sure he asked you to do songs, or did you just force your way on to the stage?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Would you like to do a number with me?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- Go on, then.- Would you?- Yeah, go on!
0:15:14 > 0:15:17I'm talking specifically now, Bill, to Bev, not to you!
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- No, it's your thing, you know. - Thank you.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Do you know "You Got The Look"?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- Well.- Oh, you know it well! Sorry!
0:15:25 > 0:15:28You're starting on another paragraph. OK.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31In that case, Beverley Knight, walk this way!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50# You walked in, I woke up
0:15:51 > 0:15:55# I never seen a pretty girl look so tough
0:15:55 > 0:15:56# Baby
0:15:57 > 0:16:00# Ow! You got that look
0:16:03 > 0:16:05# Colour you peach and black
0:16:05 > 0:16:07# Colour me takin' aback
0:16:07 > 0:16:09# Crucial
0:16:09 > 0:16:11# I think I want you
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- # You've got the look - I know!
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- # You've got the hook - Huh!
0:16:16 > 0:16:18# Sure enough do be cooking in my book
0:16:18 > 0:16:21- # Sing it to me - Your face is jammin'
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- What does that mean? - # Your body is heck-a-slammin'
0:16:24 > 0:16:27# If love is good, let's get to rammin'
0:16:27 > 0:16:33# You got the look You got the look, yeah
0:16:34 > 0:16:36# You got the look... #
0:16:36 > 0:16:39HEAVY METAL JAMMING
0:16:47 > 0:16:50So sorry. I'm so sorry!
0:17:00 > 0:17:04- You had to ruin it, didn't you? - Well, it needed something!
0:17:08 > 0:17:13Ladies and gentlemen, Beverley will be singing for us again later.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18Now it's time to welcome a comedian who's destined for great things.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Please give a big welcome to the fantastic Celia Pacquola!
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Gosh!
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Hello!
0:17:34 > 0:17:38I would actually like to start with a safety announcement.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Just in case any of you are going out later and having a big night.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Just please be aware of drink spiking.
0:17:44 > 0:17:49I'd like to tell everyone because I've had my drink spiked at a club.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52It wasn't very nice. To make things worse,
0:17:52 > 0:17:57this guy was a real cheapskate and used Berocca.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05He was like, "How are you feeling?" "Better!
0:18:06 > 0:18:09"Pretty good. Cheers!"
0:18:09 > 0:18:15And then I jogged home! Idiot! Couldn't even catch me. That's what we call a rookie mistake.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18That's what that is. Good! Hello, I know we've started,
0:18:18 > 0:18:22but I'm sorry, I'm quite aware that I'm sounding quite Australian.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Can you hear that? It's annoying! Can you hear "Hallo!"
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Can we do anything? No, we can't do anything about that.
0:18:28 > 0:18:34I'm going to live here. I've moved here. I think I'm the first Australian to do that.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Pretty pleased, proud of myself.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40I've been here a little while, about seven months now.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44The weird thing is, I'm getting patriotic about odd things.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- Are there any Australians in the room?- Woo!- So enthusiastic.
0:18:47 > 0:18:52One of the reasons I love being Australian is that when I'm feeling out of form online
0:18:52 > 0:18:56that my country is right near the top of the drop-down menu.
0:18:56 > 0:19:01I love it. What country? Australia. Bang. 0.1 second. Get on with my day.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04What's that? I'm early? Great. Yes!
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Yeah! Suck it, Yemen! Yeah!
0:19:09 > 0:19:14I have a boyfriend at the moment. Whatever. Stop bringing it up!
0:19:14 > 0:19:16I'm just a normal person.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20I'm doing a long-distance thing. It's a long-distance relationship.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24I don't mind telling you that because it sounds better than restraining order!
0:19:26 > 0:19:28No, it's consensual. Totally consensual.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30He knows all about it.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34He came to visit me recently and we wanted to do something special
0:19:34 > 0:19:36so we went to Paris.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40We didn't want to do anything touristy so we went to the Eiffel Tower.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- Cheer if you've been to the Eiffel Tower. AUDIENCE:- Yeah!
0:19:43 > 0:19:48It's packed, OK? It was rammed full of couples
0:19:48 > 0:19:52trying to out-in-love each other.
0:19:52 > 0:19:57Everyone wants to go to Paris and go, "Oh, remember when we went to Paris?
0:19:57 > 0:19:59"We were so in love."
0:19:59 > 0:20:05No-one goes, "Remember Paris? Where my passive aggression met your muted hostility?
0:20:05 > 0:20:08"And neither of us could admit that the entire trip
0:20:08 > 0:20:12"was just a Band-aid over the widening chasm of loathing and hatred between us?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16"Wonderful cheese." Right?
0:20:16 > 0:20:21And I noticed it cos I just went to casually hold my boyfriend's hand
0:20:21 > 0:20:25and I saw a couple see that and like standing spoon, grab each other and go, "Ooh!"
0:20:25 > 0:20:30And another couple see them. "I see your standing spoon and I raise you a dip kiss."
0:20:30 > 0:20:34It's amazing. "Oh, it's like the first day we met.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38"You're so funny. They were going to make a film of our love
0:20:38 > 0:20:41"but they couldn't because there were no sad bits."
0:20:41 > 0:20:46Amongst all these people putting on shows and ridiculous blah-de-blah,
0:20:46 > 0:20:48my boyfriend, Toby, and I got engaged.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58We didn't want to, but it was really competitive.
0:21:01 > 0:21:07Yeah. I don't think any woman in the history of the world has said, "Of course I'll marry you",
0:21:07 > 0:21:10immediately followed by "Suck it!"
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Did you see that? In your face, dip kiss!
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Winners!
0:21:16 > 0:21:20If I could have spontaneously had a baby, I would have, just...
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Thank you very much, I'm Celia Pacquola!
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Ladies and gentlemen, Celia Pacquola!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Right, Bill,
0:21:31 > 0:21:36we have questions from the audience. We also put the word out on Twitter.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40So we've got some Tweeted questions. Ian from Kent. Where are you, Ian?
0:21:40 > 0:21:42- Yep!- What?!
0:21:42 > 0:21:46- Hello!- What are you dressed as?
0:21:46 > 0:21:47I'm dressed as a Klingon!
0:21:49 > 0:21:51All right. There we are.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56- What's your question, Ian? - Why do you like sci-fi so much?
0:21:56 > 0:22:00I've always liked it since I was a kid. I love the fantasy genre.
0:22:00 > 0:22:07And when I was a kid, you were made to feel you were weird, a geek or nerdy.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10But now it's mainstream entertainment.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- Star Wars and Harry Potter.- It wasn't then, was it?- No, it wasn't.
0:22:13 > 0:22:18- Lord of the Rings, that was a bit esoteric.- You loved Star Trek.
0:22:18 > 0:22:23- Tell us about your son and what you did with Star Trek.- Oh, you see,
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- you've been reading the book of Wikipedia lies!- It's not true?
0:22:27 > 0:22:30- Well, OK...- So it is true?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32It is true. But...
0:22:32 > 0:22:35My son is called Dax.
0:22:35 > 0:22:41Dax is a name that we heard someone else had a kid called Dax and we thought, "That's a cool name."
0:22:41 > 0:22:47But it is also the name of a symbiont, a parasitic slug,
0:22:47 > 0:22:49in Deep Space Nine.
0:22:49 > 0:22:54So I can convince no-one that that was not the reason why
0:22:54 > 0:22:56I called him Dax!
0:22:56 > 0:23:03We were having a conversation about it and he says, "Daddy, this family, we're 73% normal."
0:23:04 > 0:23:08I go, "What do you mean by that?" And he goes, "We're a bit weird.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10"You're the weirdest."
0:23:10 > 0:23:17But he thought it was quite cool. He's got an idea that I go on the stage and all that.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20He said to a friend of his in the back of the car,
0:23:20 > 0:23:23he said, "Have you heard of Bill Bailey?"
0:23:23 > 0:23:26And the kid's five. "I don't know."
0:23:26 > 0:23:29And he goes, "Oh, you should check him out."
0:23:32 > 0:23:35Sophie Kingsnorth is here. Sophie?
0:23:35 > 0:23:40- Hiya!- What's your question for Bill? - You love animals. Which animal would you be and why?
0:23:40 > 0:23:45I'd have to say baboon. You're half way there!
0:23:46 > 0:23:48- Oh, don't look hurt.- Sorry.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53I suppose baboons are amazing creatures.
0:23:53 > 0:23:59They're very intelligent. They can open car doors and start cars and even drive off.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02And they live people's lives for them.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- Some of that was true, wasn't it? - Yeah!
0:24:04 > 0:24:09I think it would have to be something like an eagle, probably.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Like a sea eagle or something. Something big and impressive.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15With a massive beak!
0:24:15 > 0:24:19We've got time for one more question. Frances Jones, where are you?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21There's Frances. What's your question?
0:24:21 > 0:24:26We know you're a master of musical instruments, so we've brought one for you to play.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Oh, hello?
0:24:27 > 0:24:31- Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - What are we going to do?
0:24:31 > 0:24:35Oh, look at that, they're passing the French horn. That's nice.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- It's an old Alpine tradition. - Do you want to grab it, Bill?
0:24:38 > 0:24:40The passing of the horn.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43That's probably worth a lot of money, so be careful.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45- Wow!- I'll grip the end. - Look at that!
0:24:45 > 0:24:50- OK. Do you want to sit down? - No, I'll have to stand, I think.- OK.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Hang on. Whoa! It reminds me of a bong I had once!
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Here we go!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02PLAYS DEEP RESONANT NOTES
0:25:06 > 0:25:08APPLAUSE
0:25:12 > 0:25:13- Can I have a go?- Yeah!
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Swap over.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19This could be an Olympic sport!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- Do I have to connect with the... - Yeah.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25NON-PRODUCTIVE BLOWS
0:25:25 > 0:25:27RESONANT NOTE
0:25:27 > 0:25:29APPLAUSE
0:25:31 > 0:25:35Ladies and gentlemen, one more time for Bill Bailey!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44I'd also like to thank Celia Pacquola
0:25:44 > 0:25:49and now singing a song from her new album Soul UK, Beverley Knight and Cuddly Toy!
0:26:05 > 0:26:08# Well, I know you heard so many people say
0:26:08 > 0:26:12# I got a different boy in every town
0:26:12 > 0:26:16# But there must be somebody telling lies
0:26:16 > 0:26:19# Spreading rumours, rumours all around
0:26:19 > 0:26:22# Oh, there's a cuddly toy
0:26:22 > 0:26:23# That's my only joy
0:26:23 > 0:26:25# Waiting for me
0:26:25 > 0:26:27# When I get home, yeah,
0:26:27 > 0:26:31# And what I need is a boy like you
0:26:31 > 0:26:34# To call, call my very own
0:26:34 > 0:26:38- # So you gotta feel for me, baby - Feel for me, baby
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- # Yeah, you gotta feel for me, baby - Feel for me, baby
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- # Oh, you gotta feel for me, baby - Feel for me, baby
0:26:45 > 0:26:48# Oh, give me some love, yes
0:26:49 > 0:26:53# Well I don't pour out my heart like this to everyone
0:26:53 > 0:26:57# And anyone that I meet
0:26:57 > 0:26:59# And I know it ain't the wine
0:26:59 > 0:27:01# Cos I feel just fine
0:27:01 > 0:27:04# Can't you see, baby, I'm still on my feet?
0:27:04 > 0:27:08# Oh, a cuddly toy, that's my only joy
0:27:08 > 0:27:09# Waiting for me
0:27:09 > 0:27:12# When I get home, yes
0:27:12 > 0:27:14# And what I need
0:27:14 > 0:27:15# Is a boy like you
0:27:15 > 0:27:19# To call, call my very own
0:27:19 > 0:27:23- # So you gotta feel for me, baby - Feel for me, baby
0:27:23 > 0:27:26- # Yeah, you gotta feel for me, baby - Feel for me, baby
0:27:26 > 0:27:30- # Just feel for me - Feel for me baby
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# Oh, give me some love, yeah
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# Wa-ay-ay-ay-ay yeah
0:27:49 > 0:27:51# Feel
0:27:51 > 0:27:53# Feel for me, baby
0:27:53 > 0:27:57# Come on, like I know you can
0:27:57 > 0:27:59# Feel for me
0:27:59 > 0:28:01# Feel for me, baby
0:28:01 > 0:28:04# Come on, I know you understand
0:28:04 > 0:28:07# Well, a cuddly toy is my only joy
0:28:07 > 0:28:11# Waiting for me when I get home now
0:28:11 > 0:28:15# And what I need is a boy like you
0:28:15 > 0:28:18# To call, call my very own
0:28:18 > 0:28:22- # So you gotta feel - Feel for me, baby
0:28:22 > 0:28:26- # Oh, feel it, baby - Feel for me, baby
0:28:26 > 0:28:29- # Yeah, you gotta feel it now - Feel for me, baby
0:28:29 > 0:28:33# Oh, gimme some love
0:28:33 > 0:28:37- # Yeah, feel for me - Feel for me, baby
0:28:37 > 0:28:39# Oh, baby, baby
0:28:39 > 0:28:41# Feel for me, baby
0:28:41 > 0:28:43# Yeah, you gotta feel for me
0:28:43 > 0:28:45# Feel for me, baby
0:28:45 > 0:28:47# Oh, gimme some love, yeah
0:28:47 > 0:28:49# Yeah. #
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- That was brilliant!- Thank you!
0:29:04 > 0:29:06How about that? Beverley Knight!
0:29:08 > 0:29:11Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd