0:00:02 > 0:00:05What a show we have tonight. Look! Michael McIntyre is on the show!
0:00:05 > 0:00:06Alex James.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Oh, they've spelt my name wrong.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Somebody will kick themselves over that.
0:00:11 > 0:00:12And we have Amy Macdonald.
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Let's do it!
0:00:13 > 0:00:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:18 > 0:00:19Hello!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Hello,
0:00:21 > 0:00:22good evening.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Thank you so much.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29What a lovely audience.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31In our mix tonight,
0:00:31 > 0:00:33someone who's travelled a long way to be here -
0:00:33 > 0:00:34there's Barry!
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Lives in Australia.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Barry, there are expressions in life,
0:00:39 > 0:00:41when people are worried about something happening.
0:00:41 > 0:00:46They say, "Don't worry. You're more likely to be struck by lightning.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49"You're more likely to be bitten by a shark."
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Barry...
0:00:51 > 0:00:53LAUGHTER
0:00:53 > 0:00:55..tell us the two things
0:00:55 > 0:00:58that distinguish you from other people.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01I've been hit by lightning and I've been bitten by a shark.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:01:03 > 0:01:06OK.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Which happened first?
0:01:09 > 0:01:11- The shark.- OK.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13It's Australia - there are a lot of them.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Where were you?
0:01:14 > 0:01:17- Swimming at St Kilda Beach. - I guessed you were swimming.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19LAUGHTER
0:01:19 > 0:01:21- How old were you? - About eight years old.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22ALL: Aw!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25This is sad. There you were swimming...
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Yeah, swimming around, and next thing I know, something grabbed me by the leg,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31and luckily there was a man standing fairly close to me...
0:01:31 > 0:01:33He was trying to pull you away from the shark?
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Imagine I'm the shark.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37LAUGHTER
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Imagine I'm the man.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40LAUGHTER
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Imagine I'm Barry.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43LAUGHTER
0:01:43 > 0:01:45I brought that vividly to life, didn't I?
0:01:45 > 0:01:46LAUGHTER
0:01:46 > 0:01:48How big was the shark?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I don't actually know, because...
0:01:51 > 0:01:52How convenient(!)
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Roughly. How big? That big?
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Maybe a bit bigger.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59LAUGHTER
0:01:59 > 0:02:01So basically a domestic cat
0:02:01 > 0:02:02having a stretch?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04LAUGHTER
0:02:04 > 0:02:06It had teeth.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Barry, if you're going to travel the world
0:02:08 > 0:02:11on this story of being bitten by a shark,
0:02:11 > 0:02:15I'd start lying about some of the details.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16LAUGHTER
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Tell us about the lightning. This better be better.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22I was hiking up a mountain with a youth group.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25A storm started to move over us.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27We were almost at the top of the mountain,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29and the lightning struck.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31I couldn't move anything.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33I was totally paralysed except for my eyes.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36My right boot, the sole
0:02:36 > 0:02:37was completely melted.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39The big toe on my left boot
0:02:39 > 0:02:42had a big hole in it and that was all smoking.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46So, yeah - a quiet afternoon's stroll(!)
0:02:46 > 0:02:48LAUGHTER
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I tell you what, Barry. That walks all over the shark story.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53LAUGHTER
0:02:53 > 0:02:54You know what they say?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56"Bad luck comes in threes."
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Bitten by a shark,
0:02:59 > 0:03:00struck by lightning -
0:03:00 > 0:03:02welcome to The Rob Brydon Show!
0:03:02 > 0:03:03LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Barry, ladies and gentlemen.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09There is a dog lover,
0:03:09 > 0:03:11but there's a special one. Sian, yes?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Hi.- Hi, Sian.- Hello.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15- You love your dogs, don't you?- I do.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Tell me about Crufts - you had some success there?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Yeah, I've been quite lucky.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Not me, personally...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Not you. No, no - the dogs.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25- My dogs, yeah.- What have you got?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28I've got Estrela Mountain Dogs,
0:03:28 > 0:03:30a rare breed from Portugal.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32let's see pictures of the dogs.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34That's a Filofax.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Welcome to 1986!
0:03:36 > 0:03:37LAUGHTER
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Here's my mobile phone!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41LAUGHTER
0:03:41 > 0:03:43That's like a proper head shot.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- That's a beauty shot, isn't it? - It is.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47I'm surprised he hasn't signed that one.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48LAUGHTER
0:03:48 > 0:03:50What's that one called?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52That's Jensen.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Let me guess - the next one is Button?
0:03:54 > 0:03:55LAUGHTER
0:03:55 > 0:03:57It's named after a car, actually.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00- Jensen Interceptor. - You've got it in one.
0:04:00 > 0:04:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Is it just me,
0:04:07 > 0:04:10or is there a sizzling sexual chemistry?
0:04:10 > 0:04:11LAUGHTER
0:04:11 > 0:04:14It's lovely to have you with us. We wish you more success
0:04:14 > 0:04:16at Crufts in the future.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18APPLAUSE
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Ladies and gentlemen, in a short while,
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Alex James and the brilliant Amy Macdonald -
0:04:23 > 0:04:26but first off, I am so thrilled
0:04:26 > 0:04:28to have as the first guest on my new series,
0:04:28 > 0:04:30the king of comedy, Michael McIntyre!
0:04:30 > 0:04:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Hi! Good evening.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Very nice.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Michael McIntyre! It's summer, Michael.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58It's a heck of a year. Jubilee, Olympics - we've had a fantastic time.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00I've never felt more patriotic.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03The Jubilee...
0:05:03 > 0:05:04You OWNED the Jubilee!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Now stop it.- You OWNED the Jubilee! - APPLAUSE
0:05:07 > 0:05:09The whole show was dominated by you
0:05:09 > 0:05:12and a slightly awkward Grace Jones.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15# Slave to the rhythm! #
0:05:15 > 0:05:16LAUGHTER
0:05:16 > 0:05:19# Slave to the rhythm. #
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Do you know what she said at the end?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Grace Jones finished, still hula-hooping, and went,
0:05:25 > 0:05:27"Happy birthday, Queen!"
0:05:27 > 0:05:29LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Unbelievable.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I felt so sorry.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35The Royal Family have played a part in your success,
0:05:35 > 0:05:37because your big break was the Royal Variety Show.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40That's right, yes.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43You've met Prince Charles a few times. Do you know what shocked me?
0:05:43 > 0:05:44- His hands.- Yes.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Huge hands.- You're right.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48The hands of a farmer.
0:05:48 > 0:05:49LAUGHTER
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- Hasn't he?- He has big hands.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53He's very funny - I should say that.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55I did a gig recently
0:05:55 > 0:05:57for his Prince's Trust,
0:05:57 > 0:05:59and I was introducing him.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00Which was relatively daunting.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I told this joke -
0:06:02 > 0:06:03it's a story, really -
0:06:03 > 0:06:07about when I'm on the phone to people now and sometimes
0:06:07 > 0:06:09they ask your name,
0:06:09 > 0:06:12when you pay a bill or something. They go, "Can I take your name, please?"
0:06:12 > 0:06:15I'll go, "Michael McIntyre" and sometimes people go,
0:06:15 > 0:06:17"THE?" and I like that.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18In fact I embrace it, I hope for it.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Sometimes I introduce myself as - "Can I take your name, please?"
0:06:21 > 0:06:23"MICHAEL MCINTYRE!"
0:06:23 > 0:06:24LAUGHTER
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I really hope to be recognised.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28So I told this story
0:06:28 > 0:06:31and then I told this story about when once I was paying my gas bill
0:06:31 > 0:06:33and a woman said, "What's your name?"
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I said, "It's Michael McIntyre" and she didn't care.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37She went, "Is that M-AC or M-C?"
0:06:37 > 0:06:39I said, "It's M-CINTYRE",
0:06:39 > 0:06:42and she went, "Oh! Like the comedian!"
0:06:42 > 0:06:43LAUGHTER
0:06:43 > 0:06:46I got a bit smug and said, "Yes, exactly like the comedian," and she said,
0:06:46 > 0:06:49"I don't find him funny, do you?"
0:06:49 > 0:06:50LAUGHTER
0:06:50 > 0:06:53So I told this story and some other jokes,
0:06:53 > 0:06:54and then I introduce Prince Charles.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57He comes up, very cool with his huge farmer hands,
0:06:57 > 0:06:58and he says -
0:06:58 > 0:07:01- PRINCE CHARLES VOICE:- "I have to say it's quite intimidating
0:07:01 > 0:07:05"having to follow THE Michael McIntyre.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09"Thank God I'm THE Prince of Wales!"
0:07:09 > 0:07:10LAUGHTER
0:07:10 > 0:07:12That's pretty good. That's funny.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14APPLAUSE
0:07:14 > 0:07:17The guy's funny, all right?
0:07:17 > 0:07:18Let's talk about your tour.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- Starts very soon.- It's next week!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23You're in these huge arenas.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25I've presented some things in arenas,
0:07:25 > 0:07:29but never really done an act in an arena. I'm scared of it,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32because it's so big - you're so far from the audience.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Well, they are far back. You can't deny that.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38I think there's a vertigo warning at the O2.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- That's steep, isn't it?- You know you don't have the best seats
0:07:41 > 0:07:43when you pick up your tickets and they give you a harness.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45LAUGHTER
0:07:45 > 0:07:47You're abseiling into your seat.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51"I think these are our seats, darling. Come on in!"
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Let's have a look at you
0:07:52 > 0:07:54on stage.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57This from the last tour, OK?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Here's Michael in action.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02I hate it when you're driving behind somebody.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03They're swerving.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06The lights go green and they don't react.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09You conclude, "There's an idiot in that car."
0:08:09 > 0:08:11You start discussing it with other people in your car.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14"Have you seen the idiot? Complete idiot."
0:08:14 > 0:08:18And then you think, "Let's go past the idiot.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21"Let's see what the idiot looks like."
0:08:21 > 0:08:25It's very rare in life you can see a genuine idiot human.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27You wait for your first opportunity
0:08:27 > 0:08:29to overtake the idiot.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32You can feel your neck muscles pulling.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34"Idiot!"
0:08:34 > 0:08:36LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:08:36 > 0:08:39A whole car-full of people in unison.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Even babies in their car seats.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- BABY VOICE:- "Idiot!"
0:08:44 > 0:08:45APPLAUSE
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- You've got children. Young children. - Yes.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Do they understand what you do?
0:08:54 > 0:08:58They know that I'm a comedian. Erm...
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Cos I'm funny round the house(!)
0:09:00 > 0:09:02- LAUGHTER - Cos I told them.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04LAUGHTER
0:09:04 > 0:09:08They're an amazing age and they're so absorbent.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11But I'm slightly concerned cos some of the things they absorb
0:09:11 > 0:09:12aren't really worthwhile.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Like adverts. It annoys the hell out of me.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17All these adverts on TV that we don't listen to,
0:09:17 > 0:09:20because we know it's nonsense and propaganda,
0:09:20 > 0:09:21it's going into my children's minds.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Lucas, the six-year-old, came up the other day,
0:09:23 > 0:09:25and he said, "Daddy,
0:09:25 > 0:09:28"have you accidentally been mis-sold PPI?"
0:09:28 > 0:09:29LAUGHTER
0:09:29 > 0:09:32I'm like, "What?"
0:09:32 > 0:09:34My three-year-old, Oscar,
0:09:34 > 0:09:36slipped on the kitchen floor.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39I ran over to see if he was OK. He threatened to phone Injury Lawyers 4 U.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40LAUGHTER
0:09:40 > 0:09:43This is what's going on in my house.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45He told me he was entitled to, "100% of the compensation."
0:09:45 > 0:09:47LAUGHTER
0:09:47 > 0:09:50"Do you mean 100% of the compensation?!" Sorry.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54So the kids are getting to know what you do, and I was told
0:09:54 > 0:09:57that they actually do an impression of you -
0:09:57 > 0:09:58the whole skipping thing?
0:09:58 > 0:09:59He did try that, it was very sweet.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01It was basically about...
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I did a joke, which ended up with this skip that I did.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Which I can do quickly now.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07I'd love you to do it.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:10 > 0:10:11It was many years ago.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15This is very embarrassing.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Skipping is a very easy mode of transport.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22I don't know why, but running
0:10:22 > 0:10:24is quite a heavy process, isn't it?
0:10:24 > 0:10:28But skipping... You just fly!
0:10:28 > 0:10:30APPLAUSE
0:10:30 > 0:10:31My theory was that if you combine
0:10:31 > 0:10:35the arms and the skip and then you just fly!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37It's great.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38APPLAUSE
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Can I have a go? I'd love to try the skipping with you.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Just give me a basic lesson now in skipping.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45It's not just skipping.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- You're propelling yourself. - All right.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48So start with the walk.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51So, my normal walk.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52LAUGHTER
0:10:54 > 0:10:55That's how I walk!
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Like that. OK?
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Now you're saying the two together?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03LAUGHTER
0:11:03 > 0:11:05APPLAUSE
0:11:09 > 0:11:10What if we skip together?
0:11:10 > 0:11:121, 2, 3...go!
0:11:14 > 0:11:16APPLAUSE
0:11:17 > 0:11:20That was wonderful. I loved that.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22I loved that!
0:11:22 > 0:11:25If we could just get the hop and the jump,
0:11:25 > 0:11:26we could do the Olympics.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27I loved that!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Tremendously embarrassing and tiring.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32While I recover...
0:11:32 > 0:11:34LAUGHTER
0:11:34 > 0:11:36That is a lot more tiring than it looks.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38LAUGHTER
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Our next guest is a man of many talents. Please welcome
0:11:41 > 0:11:42the lovely Alex James!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Hello. have a seat.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Hiya.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00I said you're a man of many talents. You do so many things.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03I don't want to use that phrase "Renaissance man"
0:12:03 > 0:12:05cos it's over used, but you're a Renaissance man.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07HE LAUGHS
0:12:07 > 0:12:10It's been a fantastic year for you - for your own personal ventures,
0:12:10 > 0:12:12but what a year for Blur,
0:12:12 > 0:12:14with the Brits and the Olympics.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18People always want to know, "What does it feel like
0:12:18 > 0:12:20"to play in front of 80,000 people?"
0:12:20 > 0:12:23And I live on a farm.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26I spend my days in the middle of a bunch of fields,
0:12:26 > 0:12:28thinking quietly about cheese,
0:12:28 > 0:12:30living a sort of monk's life.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32It sounds like a lovely life.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Then, to just walk back into that -
0:12:34 > 0:12:37the answer is, it feels amazing!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40We know about the band, the cheese making.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41You have a pilot's licence?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43You do classical music,
0:12:43 > 0:12:46you're a very stylish man. There's so much going on.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Shucks, thanks. - Do you have a hobby?
0:12:48 > 0:12:49HE LAUGHS
0:12:49 > 0:12:51As you know, I collect meteorites.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54That's right.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58Does anybody else collect meteorites?
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- LAUGHTER - It hasn't met with roars of recognition.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02LAUGHTER
0:13:02 > 0:13:04You brought a bag with you.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05These don't grow on trees. Look at that.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07That wouldn't be too much of a worry.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- What is it?- That's a meteorite.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12People have been killed by these things.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14This one is very heavy.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17It's made out of iron. There's two kinds of meteorite -
0:13:17 > 0:13:19There's your iron ones and your stony ones.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21I became interested in meteorites
0:13:21 > 0:13:25when Blur were involved with the Beagle space mission.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28The Mars probe that crash-landed.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32I met the guy who owns the world's most famous meteorite. ALH...
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Lex Luthor.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36LAUGHTER
0:13:36 > 0:13:41Do you remember? He was terrible. He got it from the planet Krypton.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43I saw it, it was a documentary.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46LAUGHTER
0:13:46 > 0:13:48You must have seen that - round Superman's neck.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51It was only Miss Teshmaker, d'you remember?
0:13:51 > 0:13:52- Mis Tesh-MAKER!- That's the one.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Not taking it seriously!
0:13:55 > 0:13:56But..
0:13:56 > 0:13:58LAUGHTER
0:13:58 > 0:14:01..that particular meteorite is famous because it contains
0:14:01 > 0:14:04what looked like bacteria.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- And if there's bacteria, there's life.- Exactly.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09And that came from Mars.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13If you can find a Martian meteorite, they're incredibly valuable things.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15I mean, they're all right...
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I struggle to share your... Hello.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18What about this?
0:14:18 > 0:14:21This was discovered
0:14:21 > 0:14:24by a friend of mine's mum.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26LAUGHTER
0:14:32 > 0:14:36This was like a Stone Age piece of cooking technology.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40The worst time of day for getting hit by a meteorite is around mid-day...
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- Why?- ..if you worry about it, statistically-speaking.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47Is that right? I think you're more likely to be bitten by a shark, or struck...
0:14:47 > 0:14:49LAUGHTER
0:14:49 > 0:14:50APPLAUSE
0:14:53 > 0:14:55And you've got your own thing coming up.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58What are you doing with Jamie Oliver? This sounds very interesting.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02Last year we did a sort of food and music
0:15:02 > 0:15:04festival on the farm.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06And we learnt a lot from that,
0:15:06 > 0:15:10and Jamie has got on board this year.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12We're doing a food and music "Feastival".
0:15:12 > 0:15:14That's a nice name.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17The big Feastival on the farm,
0:15:17 > 0:15:18all round mine.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Jamie's organising the food,
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- so it's pukka food.- I want to come.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25You're committed to the countryside, Alex.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27To prove this, we have a photograph of you with two
0:15:27 > 0:15:30simple country bumpkins.
0:15:30 > 0:15:31Let's have a look.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33LAUGHTER
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- I have to say...- Is that me and the most powerful man in the country?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38- Yes, it is.- And the Prime Minister?
0:15:38 > 0:15:39LAUGHTER
0:15:39 > 0:15:42To me, that picture looks like Cameron and Clarkson having a chat.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44You're just wandering past.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46You've gone, "Oh! Camera!"
0:15:46 > 0:15:48LAUGHTER
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Michael has dipped his toes in the country life, haven't you?
0:15:50 > 0:15:52I did last year.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- How did you adapt to country life? - Have you got an Aga?
0:15:55 > 0:15:57It's as long as a nuclear submarine.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58You've got a huge Aga?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00This is an oven.
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Posh people like them.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05It's made for them to say, "Aga."
0:16:05 > 0:16:07The thing that annoyed me, cos I was renting this house,
0:16:07 > 0:16:09we were going up at the weekends,
0:16:09 > 0:16:10it's on all the time.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Yes.- This oven never comes off?
0:16:12 > 0:16:15You leave it on.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17I've questioned posh people about this.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- The love it cos...- POSH ACCENT: - "It's the nucleus - it heats up the whole house."
0:16:21 > 0:16:25It does in the winter. In the summer, children are melting. I'm not joking.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28People wander round going, "We had six. Two got Aga'd." Seriously.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30It's boiling, and you can't cook in it.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33It's about 10,000 degrees. If you want to cook a chicken,
0:16:33 > 0:16:35you have to get a frozen chicken, and run through the kitchen.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36LAUGHTER
0:16:36 > 0:16:38If you have one, this is reality.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40LAUGHTER
0:16:40 > 0:16:41How many children have you got?
0:16:41 > 0:16:45- Five children.- I've got five.- Have you?!- How many have you got, Michael?
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Six(!)
0:16:46 > 0:16:48LAUGHTER
0:16:48 > 0:16:49You have two, don't you?
0:16:49 > 0:16:50I have two children.
0:16:50 > 0:16:56I don't know about you, Alex. I consider people who have two children to almost be childless.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57LAUGHTER
0:16:57 > 0:17:01Your kids have got fantastic names.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Geronimo, Artie, Gally, Song 2, and Beetlebum.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08No, just kidding!
0:17:08 > 0:17:10That wasn't far off, though, was it?
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I'll tell you. Geronimo, then you have twins, OK?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Artemis and Galileo, yeah.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16And daughters?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Sable and Beatrix.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Round of applause.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22APPLAUSE
0:17:22 > 0:17:23I love how bold are they.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26You know what names annoy me?
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Names that are the same, but spelt differently,
0:17:29 > 0:17:30- for no reason.- Oh, yes.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Stuart with a UA is pronounced... listen for it.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Stewart with a W...
0:17:35 > 0:17:37.."Stuart".
0:17:37 > 0:17:42It just gives people an annoying life. It's not like it's, "What's your name?" "Stoo-art".
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- LAUGHTER - "And you?" "Stoo-wart".
0:17:45 > 0:17:46LAUGHTER
0:17:46 > 0:17:49"Is this your wife?" "Sarah-hah..."
0:17:49 > 0:17:50LAUGHTER
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Well, our next guest's name
0:17:53 > 0:17:56can't compete with any of those lovely ones we've heard,
0:17:56 > 0:17:59but her album is one of the biggest hits of the summer.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01All the way from Scotland, it's Amy Macdonald!
0:18:01 > 0:18:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Have a seat - there's Alex and Michael.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- Hi.- Welcome, Amy.- Hello.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Listen, straight away,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23congratulations on the album.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24It's doing great things for you.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27One of the many things I love about you is
0:18:27 > 0:18:29you sing in your normal voice.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30Yes.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33So many singers - Adele.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- COCKNEY ACCENT: - She talks like that.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39Then she'll go... BLUES STYLE: "Oh baby, burn down the rain!"
0:18:39 > 0:18:41What happened to that other girl?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43You don't do that.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45It's not a conscious thing, though.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I just open my mouth and that's what comes out.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51- Can I just say, you have a spectacular voice.- Oh, thank you!
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Amazing.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54You're saying it as though I'm implying she doesn't!
0:18:54 > 0:18:57"Can I just say before Rob goes on one of his rants,
0:18:57 > 0:19:00"I think you've got a lovely voice."
0:19:00 > 0:19:01- You've a gorgeous voice.- Thank you.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04You don't like her voice, Alex?
0:19:04 > 0:19:05APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Just very non-committal, I thought.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Everybody noticed it.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15He loves the voice, I love the voice, you....
0:19:15 > 0:19:16LAUGHTER
0:19:16 > 0:19:18You have your guitar with you.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22- We both love a bit of Bruce. Yes? - Yes, we do.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Not Forsyth, although...
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- Bruce Springsteen.- Yes.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I went to see him. You were on the same bill.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Same line-up as he was.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33I know you can do Dancing in the Dark.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Would you give us an acoustic version? What d'you think - yes?
0:19:35 > 0:19:37APPLAUSE
0:19:37 > 0:19:38All right.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48# I get up in the evening. #
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Sorry.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53When I hear it, I can't stop myself. Sorry!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Take two.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Sorry, Amy. Give it your all.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02# I get up in... #
0:20:02 > 0:20:03I'm doing it again!
0:20:03 > 0:20:08Literally, if I hear that, I have to come in!
0:20:10 > 0:20:12# I get up in the evening
0:20:15 > 0:20:18# And I ain't got nothing to say
0:20:18 > 0:20:20# Come home in the morning
0:20:21 > 0:20:25# I go to bed feeling the same way
0:20:25 > 0:20:28# I ain't nothing but tired
0:20:28 > 0:20:33# Man, I'm just tired and bored with myself
0:20:33 > 0:20:36# Hey there, baby
0:20:36 > 0:20:39# I could use just a little help
0:20:39 > 0:20:41# You can't start a fire
0:20:43 > 0:20:47# You can't start a fire without a spark
0:20:47 > 0:20:49# This gun's for hire
0:20:50 > 0:20:54# Even if we're just dancing in the dark. #
0:20:54 > 0:20:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:01 > 0:21:04That was lovely. Thank you very much, Amy.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Let's throw this open now to the audience.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09I know we have some questions.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Where is Richard Cole sitting?
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Oh, he's just there.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14- Who's your question for? - Question to Michael, if I may.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Do people ever come up and do impressions
0:21:17 > 0:21:19of you to you?
0:21:19 > 0:21:23That's happened. That's annoying, isn't it?
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Yes, people have done it.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28You don't really know what you sound like.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33It's like when you're a kid and hear yourself on an answer phone - you're like, "Is that me?"
0:21:33 > 0:21:35You sound different in your head.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37You sometimes think you sound...
0:21:37 > 0:21:41- Which explains Rob's singing. - LAUGHTER
0:21:42 > 0:21:45You're not hearing what we hear - that's all I'm saying.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46LAUGHTER
0:21:46 > 0:21:49APPLAUSE
0:21:53 > 0:21:54It does annoy you.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57People come up to me and go, "Hello. Michael McIntyre".
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- I'm going...- SAME VOICE: - "You don't even sound like me!"
0:21:59 > 0:22:02And they go, "I sound exactly like you!"
0:22:02 > 0:22:04And I go, "You sound nothing like me!"
0:22:04 > 0:22:07"I don't even do that!" "You're doing it now!"
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Thank you very much for that question. Kyrie Geach is here.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14Now, this is not so much a question, it's a request.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15It's a request for all of you, really.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Basically, me and my friends are into extreme planking.
0:22:18 > 0:22:23OK, stop there. Now, extreme planking is that thing...
0:22:23 > 0:22:27It's where you lie down in the most ridiculous place you can find and get a photo taken.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31And I'd love it if yous would all plank with us, and take a photo.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Come up. She's going to plank. Up you come, dearie.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:22:38 > 0:22:43- Welcome. Now, I'll take the shot for you.- I have to lie...- It's all right.- Is that OK?
0:22:43 > 0:22:49- Michael, hands up, Michael. Hands up.- Steady on!- All right, ready?
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- Three, two, one.- Cheese!- We got it!
0:22:53 > 0:22:54INAUDIBLE
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Oh, my goodness!
0:22:57 > 0:23:01- For you, this is... - Just like the old days.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03This is just like the old days. Right, fine.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07Oh, my goodness!
0:23:07 > 0:23:11Kyrie, thank you very much. Oh, lovely.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17Now, where is Terry... Look at this name. Terry Stride.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20I'm going to guess Terry Stride is going to be a cockney geezer.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- COCKNEY ACCENT:- Where are you, Terry? - I'm here. I'm a southern lad, actually, thank you.
0:23:24 > 0:23:29- LAUGHTER - There's no need to be aggressive, Terry.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- What's your question? Is it for everyone, or...?- It's for Alex.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36- For Alex.- Oh, hello! - What's the most rock'n'roll thing you've ever done?
0:23:36 > 0:23:41I did once, on my birthday, throw a television out of a window,
0:23:41 > 0:23:44just to see what would happen.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48- I think we know what will happen, don't we?- You'd be surprised.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52What, it bounced back up and you caught it?
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Um, but they were very good about it. I said I'd clear it up, and...
0:23:55 > 0:23:58And, um, I told them that there was nobody coming,
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I'd checked that there was nobody coming, and...
0:24:01 > 0:24:03That's not very rock'n'roll then, is it?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05What about everyone else? Amy, you're in the rock'n'roll world.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07What's the most extreme thing you've done?
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- I'm not very rock'n'roll at all. - You're not?
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- I'm like, early bed, pyjamas. - Michael?- What?
0:24:13 > 0:24:18- I'm not in a rock'n'roll band. - You go on tour.- Yeah, I do.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20You stay in hotels, there are televisions in the room.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22And I watch them.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25I was checking into this hotel,
0:24:25 > 0:24:27and there was this foreign lady on the reception.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Classic questions, you know, I'm checking in.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33- FRENCH ACCENT:- She's just going to take a swipe of your credit card.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35I'm like, OK, give her the card.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39She said, "Would you like newspaper in the morning, wake-up call?"
0:24:39 > 0:24:42I was like, "No, thanks." And then she was asking me how many,
0:24:42 > 0:24:44you know those key cards they give you.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46She asked me how many I wanted. And it was only me staying.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- So she said,- FRENCH ACCENT: - "Do you want wankey?"
0:24:51 > 0:24:54And I... I was stunned.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57I was like, "Sorry?!"
0:24:57 > 0:25:02And she just looked at me right in the eyes, she went, "Do you want wankey?"
0:25:02 > 0:25:07Sorry, is that WITH the wake-up call or...?
0:25:10 > 0:25:14That's pretty rock'n'roll. OK, that's pretty rock'n'roll.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Now, Amy, you're going to go and sing for us.- Yes.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21To round off the show, so if you'd like to go and just get ready,
0:25:21 > 0:25:24and, ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it one more time please
0:25:24 > 0:25:27for our fantastic guests, Michael McIntyre and Alex James.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:25:31 > 0:25:34And now, with her brand-new single, Pride, it's Amy McDonald.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:25:45 > 0:25:49# I never felt like this before
0:25:50 > 0:25:53# Try to hold it back and I feel it even more
0:25:53 > 0:25:57# Sweat drips down my spine and my knees are weak
0:25:58 > 0:26:01# I cannot move I cannot speak
0:26:02 > 0:26:06# But then you came and I held it together again
0:26:08 > 0:26:11# I managed to stumble through
0:26:11 > 0:26:15# Fifty thousand voices singing in the rain
0:26:15 > 0:26:19# There's nothing that I wouldn't do
0:26:20 > 0:26:24# Cos I'd move mountains if you asked me to
0:26:24 > 0:26:28# I'd swim the seven seas
0:26:28 > 0:26:33# I'll be the one to hold your torch again
0:26:33 > 0:26:36# I'll do anything you ask of me
0:26:37 > 0:26:41# Cos I'd move mountains if you asked me to
0:26:41 > 0:26:46# I'd swim the seven seas
0:26:46 > 0:26:50# I'll be the one to hold your torch again
0:26:50 > 0:26:53# I'll do anything you ask of me
0:26:57 > 0:27:01# I never knew how proud I would feel
0:27:01 > 0:27:04# Just standing in the rain
0:27:06 > 0:27:10# These three words mean everything to me
0:27:10 > 0:27:13# And I'll sing them again and again
0:27:16 > 0:27:21# Cos I'd move mountains if you asked me to
0:27:21 > 0:27:25# I'd swim the seven seas
0:27:25 > 0:27:29# I'll be the one to hold your torch again
0:27:29 > 0:27:33# I'll do anything you ask of me
0:27:34 > 0:27:38# Cos I'd move mountains if you asked me to
0:27:38 > 0:27:42# I'd swim the seven seas
0:27:42 > 0:27:47# I'll be the one to hold your torch again
0:27:47 > 0:27:51# I'll do anything you ask of me
0:27:54 > 0:27:58# Well, the blue and the white of the flag shines bright
0:27:58 > 0:28:00# And it's blowing there for me
0:28:02 > 0:28:05# With my hand on my heart
0:28:05 > 0:28:10# The honest truth There's nowhere I'd rather be
0:28:13 > 0:28:17# Cos I'd move mountains if you asked me to
0:28:17 > 0:28:22# I'd swim the seven seas
0:28:22 > 0:28:26# I'll be the one to hold your torch again
0:28:26 > 0:28:30# I'll do anything you ask of me
0:28:30 > 0:28:35# Cos I'd move mountains if you asked me to
0:28:35 > 0:28:39# I'd swim the seven seas
0:28:39 > 0:28:43# I'll be the one to hold your torch again
0:28:43 > 0:28:47# I'll do anything you ask of me. #
0:28:56 > 0:28:59Fantastic! Really great.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04Amy MacDonald!
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Good night, everybody.
0:29:06 > 0:29:10Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd