0:00:02 > 0:00:04Tonight on the show, what do you get if you cross an Irishman,
0:00:04 > 0:00:08an Englishman, a Welshman and another Englishman? Let's find out.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11Contains strong language
0:00:11 > 0:00:15APPLAUSE
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Thank you very much indeed. Thank you.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25What a lovely audience. Good evening. Welcome to the show.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29I know we've got someone here who has a curious hobby.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33Something to do with police. Where's the...? It's Steve.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36- So a hobby involving...police.- Yes.
0:00:36 > 0:00:41- Explain to the ladies and gentlemen what it is. - I'm a retired police officer
0:00:41 > 0:00:44and I spend my time taking photos of police cars.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47LAUGHTER
0:00:47 > 0:00:51As they go by or...? As they're chasing after you?
0:00:51 > 0:00:55LAUGHTER
0:00:55 > 0:01:01- What is your name?- Tracy. - Hiya, Trace. You all right?- Yeah.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05You're having a hell of a night. How did this begin?
0:01:05 > 0:01:09It just came about when I retired.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11I thought that it was something I wanted to do.
0:01:11 > 0:01:16- A social history kind of thing, I think.- Yeah. Don't laugh.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19No, Steve. I'm not having this. Don't laugh.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21LAUGHTER
0:01:21 > 0:01:27Being in a wheelchair does not entitle you to cackle like a mad witch.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29LAUGHTER
0:01:29 > 0:01:32APPLAUSE
0:01:35 > 0:01:39I'm with you. Social history, yes. Because the cars... Shut up!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41LAUGHTER
0:01:41 > 0:01:44- The cars have changed over the years.- That's right.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Dixon of Dock Green, Z Cars...
0:01:47 > 0:01:49TRACY LAUGHS
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Tracy! I will be wheeling you out of here in a minute.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57The Panda car, was Z Cars.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00So what would your favourite be?
0:02:00 > 0:02:05- My favourite would have been an Escort XR3i Cosworth.- Yeah.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09I think you've spoken for a lot of us here tonight.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13Let's do an experiment. Let's have somebody up there just give us a police siren and...
0:02:13 > 0:02:19You, sir. You're giving us the siren and we're going to see how Steve reacts in his natural habitat.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Nee-Nah! Nee-Nah!
0:02:22 > 0:02:24LAUGHTER
0:02:24 > 0:02:26No!
0:02:26 > 0:02:30APPLAUSE
0:02:36 > 0:02:41Have you been in a British high street since 1965?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44LAUGHTER
0:02:44 > 0:02:46"Nee-Nah Nee-Nah"?!
0:02:46 > 0:02:51Steve, although, to be fair, you did react pretty strongly.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56- Thank you for coming, the two of you. Thank you very much indeed. - APPLAUSE
0:02:56 > 0:02:58We're going to have a little movie glamour.
0:02:58 > 0:03:03We have someone here tonight from the movies. Where is Peter?
0:03:03 > 0:03:09- There you are.- Hello.- Peter is down here. Now you are a Foley artist. - I am indeed.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13A Foley artist is someone who puts the sounds into a film.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Quite often, the sounds don't come across.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20When someone walks, you may not hear it. Not hearing this.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23In a film, you'd hear this.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25MIMICS CLIP-CLOP FOOTSTEPS
0:03:25 > 0:03:27If I were a horse!
0:03:27 > 0:03:28LAUGHTER
0:03:30 > 0:03:34So what Peter does is put the sounds on.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37You do it with all sorts of household things.
0:03:37 > 0:03:42Anything that makes a similar noise to the thing on the screen I'm trying to create.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47All right. Now then. If I were to whip something out of this bag...
0:03:47 > 0:03:50LAUGHTER
0:03:50 > 0:03:54..what could you do, Peter, with that simple banana?
0:03:54 > 0:04:00Recently, what I've done with bananas is a bite for a vampire movie.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02A bite for a vampire movie.
0:04:02 > 0:04:07When a vampire bites into someone's neck, I'm not going to do that in someone's neck...
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Not again!
0:04:09 > 0:04:13No, but the skin's really kind of tough and it makes a nice ripping noise.
0:04:13 > 0:04:18- As if flesh is being ripped.- Off the side of your head.- Let's do it.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22What I want the audience to do now is to close your eyes
0:04:22 > 0:04:28and then, I will create the scene. Peter will do the effect, you're going to imagine it, OK?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31OK, so close your eyes.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Along comes the vampire and in she goes.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36CRUNCH
0:04:36 > 0:04:38AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Oh, that was good! That was good!
0:04:40 > 0:04:45- APPLAUSE - Give him a round of applause, yes.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49OK, in a moment, two very funny men - Jason Manford and Neil Morrissey.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54But first, mums, get ready to scream, it's Ronan Keating!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:08 > 0:05:13- Look at you.- Look at you. - Look at you, you handsome devil.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17- What do you do? Three times a week at the gym?- Five, pretty much.
0:05:17 > 0:05:18About five days a week.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23- Now, you've just been moving into a new world with your acting.- Yeah.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27- You've done a movie in Australia. - That's right. Goddess.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30We just launched it at Cannes a few months ago. It was very exciting.
0:05:30 > 0:05:35It's a new world for me. I'm learning every day. But I really enjoyed the whole process.
0:05:35 > 0:05:41- I've been trying for a long time. I read for Moulin Rouge ten years ago. - The one Ewan McGregor ruined... Did.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45- Yeah.- You were up for that, were you? - Yeah.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Baz Luhrmann invited me to New York, flew me over, and I read.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53And it was Ewan, DiCaprio and myself, which was incredible to be up against those guys.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56I didn't expect to get it. Obviously, I didn't. It was a great experience.
0:05:56 > 0:06:02- Wow! And someone told me the Hobbit too.- I read for the Hobbit, yeah. I obviously didn't get that either.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- Let's even things up here. I read for Garfield 2.- Did you?
0:06:06 > 0:06:07LAUGHTER
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Jesus Christ!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Ronan, you read my mind.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Let's talk about Boyzone. 20 years?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- Next year.- Let's go to the beginning. Where did the name come from?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Did Louis come up with that name, and if he did,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30why on earth would he have been thinking along those lines?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33We... Yeah.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36We don't really know!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- You never asked?- I don't know.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41I think Louis just came up with the name.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45It's one of those things. We look at it and go, "Oh, why?"
0:06:45 > 0:06:47I think, hopefully, people just overlook it.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51It becomes who you are and you just accept after a while.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Sadly, we're not boys any more, you know.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Boyzone are 20 years next year.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57We're going to call it BZ 20,
0:06:57 > 0:07:00so we're going to get rid of it. Not get rid of the name, but...
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- You could be the Bee Zees. - The Bee Zees, yeah.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06You auditioned, you had to audition for the band, didn't you?
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Yes, there was 300 guys turned up over about three weeks
0:07:09 > 0:07:11and they whittled it down.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14It was just like one of the X Factor, one of the shows,
0:07:14 > 0:07:15just without the cameras.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17You've always looked like a star. Look.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Here's a picture Ronan when he was 18.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23That's you in Boyzone. Now let's have a look at me at 18.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24LAUGHTER
0:07:26 > 0:07:28That's a boy ON his own.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- As luck would have it, you've got a new record out.- Surprise, surprise!
0:07:37 > 0:07:38I do. Thank God.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39WHOOPING
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Thank you. It's taken a while. Six years.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Is it six years since the last...?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46The last studio record. I've done the Bacharach record
0:07:46 > 0:07:49and Songs For My Mother with the orchestra, but it's been six years
0:07:49 > 0:07:52since a studio album, so it's taken a while. I've enjoyed the process.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55It's nice to be back with original songs again.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58You mentioned the Burt Bacharach album, and we've got it.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Look at that. Isn't that nice?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02They don't make them like that any more.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04I'll tell you what. Look at this.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- 'Met when Ronan Burt'.- Yes.
0:08:07 > 0:08:12Who album did artwork your?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Burt Bacharach, cos some of the younger people might not know,
0:08:16 > 0:08:18is pretty much a colossus of songwriting
0:08:18 > 0:08:22The greatest songwriter, I think, ever.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24He wrote Planes And Boats And Trains, Arthur's theme,
0:08:24 > 0:08:26- # Anyone who had a heart. # - Beautiful.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- What's he like?- He's brilliant. He's a taskmaster. It was hard work
0:08:29 > 0:08:31but it was a dream to work with him.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Capital Studios, studio A where Sinatra worked,
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Al Schmidt, the engineer who worked with Sinatra behind the controls,
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Burt in the room, 40 piece orchestra,
0:08:39 > 0:08:42and we had three days to do ten songs. It was incredible.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46- That's quick.- We had an hour and a half a song, which was ridiculous.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49I'm only a handful of singers that have ever had the opportunity
0:08:49 > 0:08:51to work one-on-one with him in the studio,
0:08:51 > 0:08:54so it's an absolute honour for me. It was a dream come true.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55Would you give us a taste?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Would you mind that? Would you give us something?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00- Erm...- Can I make a request?
0:09:00 > 0:09:03The Dionne Warwick song, Walk On By.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05That's one of my favourites. I love that song.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09# If you see me walking down the street
0:09:09 > 0:09:12# And I start to cry
0:09:12 > 0:09:15# Each time we meet
0:09:15 > 0:09:19# Walk on by
0:09:19 > 0:09:24# Walk on by
0:09:24 > 0:09:26# Foolish pride
0:09:26 > 0:09:31# Is all that I have, so let me hide
0:09:31 > 0:09:35# The tears and the sadness you gave me
0:09:35 > 0:09:40# When you said goodbye
0:09:40 > 0:09:44# Walk on by. #
0:09:50 > 0:09:54That's very impressive, very impressive. Thank you, Ronan.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56You're going to enjoy my next guest.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58He's one of the country's funniest people.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Please welcome Jason Manford.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- How are you? You all right? - I'm all right, yeah.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19You've lost weight since the last time I saw you. You look good.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23It's been a nightmare. Every so you see yourself on the screen and think, "Is that me?
0:10:23 > 0:10:28"That bloke looks like the bloke who ate the bloke I'm thinking about."
0:10:28 > 0:10:29I've got to try to do something.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I was doing this show in the West End
0:10:32 > 0:10:35and I thought, "I better lose a bit of weight for that."
0:10:35 > 0:10:36What did you do?
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Are you in the gym like Ronan? Five days a week.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41No, I've not been... I've been five times.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Let's talk about your comedy.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47You'll be on the road next year. You got a big tour.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Have you started gathering material yet?
0:10:49 > 0:10:53Slowly but surely. I've got about 25...seconds.
0:10:53 > 0:10:58You're very much, to me, in the tradition of the northern comedian.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01It seems to be right through what you do.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Do you find a difference in the north and the south?
0:11:03 > 0:11:06As far as the audience is concerned,
0:11:06 > 0:11:09I think that's made a bigger thing of then actually is true.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- Where are you more likely to get heckled?- Definitely north, I think.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16I think the further north you get, like Manchester, Liverpool,
0:11:16 > 0:11:19you start getting a bit of ribbing, a bit in Newcastle.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21In Glasgow it's like being in a double act.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22You leave your set at the door.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23What's the best heckle you ever had?
0:11:23 > 0:11:27I had a bloke in Dudley, I think, and his coat was on the floor,
0:11:27 > 0:11:29and then it moved slightly and it threw me a bit.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34I thought, "That was weird." That's not the funny bit, but it's coming.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38I said, "Your coat just moved", thinking this will turn into gold,
0:11:38 > 0:11:40and I said, "Your coat just moved by itself",
0:11:40 > 0:11:44and he said the worst thing I've ever had anyone say to me.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48He said, "That's not my coat, that's my guide dog."
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Oh...
0:11:53 > 0:11:57- Wow.- I know. And you feel the audience go,
0:11:57 > 0:11:59"Go on then, knobhead, have a go."
0:11:59 > 0:12:03You can sense it in the audience, you know. Oh.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05That was the worst one.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Did you have a comeback? Did you say anything?
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Did I have a comeback?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Yeah, I said, "How do you know I'm talking to you?"
0:12:12 > 0:12:16But mostly I think it ruins it.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19When I first saw you, you were talking lots about your family.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23- You had a great routine about your dad.- Yeah.- How did it start?
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Was it looking at the family thinking, "This is funny"?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28A little bit, because they just do stuff where you just go,
0:12:28 > 0:12:31"Well, this needs to be told to a wider audience."
0:12:31 > 0:12:32There's little bits that you think,
0:12:32 > 0:12:35"That's a decent observation, I could do something with it,
0:12:35 > 0:12:37and then in a year's time, you know...
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- Do you still look to your family? - I do, yeah. I do look to them.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41It's a huge family.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44I think I've got something like 64 cousins, I think there is.
0:12:44 > 0:12:4664 cousins?
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Here's the thing, Ronan, because in Jason's family,
0:12:50 > 0:12:55Irish music, traditional Irish music, is a big deal, isn't it?
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Yeah, they were all in Irish folk bands or country and western bands.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00It was just like a free for all.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04It'd be like, "Where's one-eyed Tommy? Where's one-eyed Tommy?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06"You can sing a song", then he'd sing.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Have they never been to a Boyzone concert?
0:13:09 > 0:13:10LAUGHTER
0:13:10 > 0:13:14- For half an hour. - That's be great.- Absolutely.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16- Was that music part of your upbringing?- Yeah, very much so.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18- That's traditional music. - Very much so.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21You know, going to pubs is part of the social scene.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22It's what your parents did.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26A few pints and everyone's singing, you know?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29That was the norm. It's still the norm, you know?
0:13:29 > 0:13:30You did X Factor in Australia.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- I'm doing it again this year. - What role did you fill?
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Were you the nasty judge, like Simon,
0:13:36 > 0:13:40or were you the one like Louis who doesn't know what's going on?
0:13:40 > 0:13:44It's funny, you go in with best intentions, right,
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- "I'm going to be this guy." - Which was what?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49I was going to be all right, I'm going to be nice.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52I'm going to be decent to these people. They've come a long way.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56It's a big deal for them and you don't want to crush their dreams.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57A long day, it is. Yeah.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00You start at eight and don't finish till 12.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- In the afternoon. - No, the next morning.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05And honestly, after about 20 bad people, you go,
0:14:05 > 0:14:09"Oh, I can't take this any more. You're crap. Go home, please.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11"Just go home. Don't ever come back."
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Who's telling them they can sing?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Well, we ask that question. We say, "Have you ever sung for anybody?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19"I sing for my mum and dad all the time and my brothers
0:14:19 > 0:14:22"and sisters and friends", and then they come out and...
0:14:22 > 0:14:23HE WARBLES
0:14:23 > 0:14:27If you say your kid's good at something, you don't expect them to go on the telly and do it.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31"You're good at that, keep it up! Oh, my God, they're on the telly."
0:14:31 > 0:14:36Now, not long ago, I came to see you in the West End in Sweeney Todd.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Jason went in and did Sweeney Todd, the Sondheim musical,
0:14:40 > 0:14:44with Michael Ball and Imelda Staunton. That must've been terrifying.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48Yeah. I mean, it's weird, cos I sort of thought I'd like to do a musical,
0:14:48 > 0:14:51but I didn't want to do the rubbishy ones.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55you know, the ones where Dean Gaffney's done it for three months.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59- I don't fancy that. - Tell us about the character.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02He's an Italian barber, a fake Italian barber, pretend Italian,
0:15:02 > 0:15:07and he threatens Sweeney Todd, which is not advisable.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10I was dead by half eight.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15I did say, "Listen, I'm not that bothered about the bow."
0:15:16 > 0:15:19I just get the train home.
0:15:19 > 0:15:24- Well, look, Ronan has sung for us this evening.- Ah, what?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- Where is this going?- Don't react like that to Ronan's singing.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29No, no, no!
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- Would you... - My God, what's been going on there?
0:15:32 > 0:15:35It's like having Rocky Balboa on the sofa with us.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38I did that sort of thing where I went, "What? Oh, my God, hello!"
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Ronan sung for us already. Would you give us a...
0:15:41 > 0:15:45- You don't have to do the whole song. - I'll have to try and remember it.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46He immediately comes on and says...
0:15:46 > 0:15:49# I am Adolpho Pirelli
0:15:49 > 0:15:51# The king of the barbers, the barber of kings
0:15:51 > 0:15:53# E Buon Giorno, good day
0:15:53 > 0:15:55# I blow you a kiss
0:15:55 > 0:15:59# And I the so famous Pirelli
0:15:59 > 0:16:03# I wish-a to know-a who has-a the nerve-a to say
0:16:03 > 0:16:05# My elixir is piss
0:16:05 > 0:16:08# Who says this? #
0:16:08 > 0:16:10APPLAUSE
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I like that.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14I liked it a lot.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18But it's not what I think that matters. Ronan.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20LAUGHTER
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I was not expecting that at all.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Did I make that song my own?
0:16:24 > 0:16:28- Totally. You owned it. You delivered. - Is he going through to the next round
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- It's a yes from me. - It's a yes from you. Yeah!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I've done it! I've won it!
0:16:32 > 0:16:36- Fantastic. Well done.- Right, Jason, stay there. Don't go away.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40One of Britain's most loved comedy actors is going to join us now.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Please welcome Neil Morrissey!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Neil Morrissey!
0:16:57 > 0:17:01- Ahh!- Ohh!- Ahh!- Ahh! - Look at us, eh?
0:17:01 > 0:17:05This could be a gentleman's club, couldn't it, eh? Look at us.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Four young guys,
0:17:07 > 0:17:08just finished school...
0:17:08 > 0:17:12- Who knows what life has in store for them, eh?- Eh?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- Ahh. Neil, 50.- Yeah.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- 50.- Yeah, I know.- Hard to believe, I might say.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Well, no. You know, I'm just about to turn 50, yeah.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Wow! How does it feel?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26It's the hair that starts growing out of your ears and nose.
0:17:26 > 0:17:31- The grey is fine. You wear that. - I was at the barbers... They didn't even tell me.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33He was doing my hair and then doing that
0:17:33 > 0:17:35and he took some of my ear. Didn't even tell me.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- That's the sort of thing...- Yeah.
0:17:38 > 0:17:39I didn't know there was any there.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43I went to some Turkish barber and they did it with a lit candle.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Yeah, it was like taper
0:17:44 > 0:17:47and they just put the burning thing in your ear
0:17:47 > 0:17:49and you hear the hair being burnt away.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52And the smell. Eugh!
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Whenever I see you, we sometimes bump into each other, you're always
0:17:56 > 0:17:59full of energy, always really happy, you're bubbly...
0:17:59 > 0:18:02But you had a difficult start with your life, didn't you?
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Yeah, yeah. I was brought up in children's homes, in care.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09People say it was difficult, but to me, it was just kind of normal.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10There were a lot of laughs attached to it,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13it wasn't all bad and doom and gloom, and thank goodness
0:18:13 > 0:18:16there were these institutions that can deal with people like me.
0:18:16 > 0:18:21But I mean, I felt there was gaps my life that I didn't really know about
0:18:21 > 0:18:24that, erm, cos I don't have like a photographic documentary of my life.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27"This is you with your uncle when you went fishing when you were 12.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30"And this is you when you learnt to roller-skate."
0:18:30 > 0:18:32What happens when you're in a children's home?
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Does anybody take photographs and give them to you?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I have recently managed to get hold of photographs,
0:18:37 > 0:18:42but I think these days the photographing of children in care
0:18:42 > 0:18:45is not deemed part of, you know, they can do it on holidays
0:18:45 > 0:18:48and things like this, But that's not a regular thing.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50That's terribly sad because you you'd like a record.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54One of the ladies who looked after me mostly when I was in care,
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Auntie Margaret, who I still talk to now, she's a wonderful woman,
0:18:58 > 0:19:01she had a pile of photos of me when I was that age,
0:19:01 > 0:19:05which is great cos I've got a son, he's 22 now, but all the way through
0:19:05 > 0:19:09his life I was able then to get photographs out and go,
0:19:09 > 0:19:12"My goodness, I looked like you did when you were 12."
0:19:12 > 0:19:15You know. and all this, which is really nice.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17And that's what I mean by these gaps, you know,
0:19:17 > 0:19:19putting pictures and faces
0:19:19 > 0:19:23and trying to get memories back from when I'd kind of lost them.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Is it pressing the point too much to say
0:19:26 > 0:19:29that acting then for you was a sort of salvation,
0:19:29 > 0:19:31was something that saved you?
0:19:31 > 0:19:32I got into acting, erm,
0:19:32 > 0:19:36I was a bit of a class clown, as you can imagine,
0:19:36 > 0:19:38and we had a teacher come in called Sheila Steele,
0:19:38 > 0:19:42who took me out the class the very first day she arrived in the school
0:19:42 > 0:19:44cos I was being a bit naughty
0:19:44 > 0:19:49and slammed a script in my chest and said, "You're in the school play!"
0:19:49 > 0:19:52So I've been doing it since I was about 11 and loved it very much.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55I suppose in a sense it did turn my life around
0:19:55 > 0:19:58because those clubs were like my family, if you like, you know.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02You've been part of an acting family recently
0:20:02 > 0:20:05in the theatre because, I don't know how many people know,
0:20:05 > 0:20:08but you've been touring with Oliver, playing Fagin.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11You've had a little rest from it then you're back with it.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13We've got a picture of Neil.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Ooh, look at that! That's you, look,
0:20:15 > 0:20:18and the good thing is you don't need any hair or make up.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19LAUGHTER
0:20:19 > 0:20:23Rob, you should do Fagin as well. You're halfway there, aren't you?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25You've got the attributes.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:28 > 0:20:32OK. We had singing tonight from Ronan and then Jason.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- You have had no less than three number ones.- Correct!
0:20:35 > 0:20:39- Yeah, yeah. - Bob the Builder being a classic.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I'm big on Bob. I'm big on Bob, yeah.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44# Muck and Dizzy Roly too
0:20:44 > 0:20:45TOGETHER: # Lofty and Wendy... #
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Hang on. Butt out, Keaton! - LAUGHTER
0:20:48 > 0:20:52TOGETHER: # Scoop, Muck and Dizzy Roly too
0:20:52 > 0:20:53# Lofty and Wendy join the crew... #
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Oh, very good.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59# Bob and the gang having so much fun
0:20:59 > 0:21:02# Working together to get the job done. #
0:21:02 > 0:21:04HA!
0:21:04 > 0:21:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Dream on! Dream on!
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Funny thing is as well, this is where I...
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- We were on a plane...- When you went number one the first time.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19I went number one for the first time. It was when they had charts.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23Do you remember those things before downloads? And so Fox, Dr Fox,
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Neil Fox wanted to have a chat with me and I know I'm going
0:21:26 > 0:21:29to be on the flight. So they arrange for the phone on the flight
0:21:29 > 0:21:33to be connected. So I'm on the flight and I've got to talk to Foxy
0:21:33 > 0:21:36as if I'm Bob. So I'm going, "Hello, Foxy. Bob here."
0:21:36 > 0:21:38LAUGHTER
0:21:38 > 0:21:42The strangest thing! I'm sitting beside him on the plane.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44I'm going, "Hello, Foxy.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47"Yes, I've had my head in Mrs Potts' plumbing all day."
0:21:47 > 0:21:49LAUGHTER
0:21:49 > 0:21:53This is all live Radio 1 stuff and I say, "And you'll never guess who's sitting next to me!"
0:21:53 > 0:21:57And he looked at me and said, IRISH ACCENT: "You fucking dare!"
0:21:57 > 0:21:59LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Questions from the audience.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- Our first one is Alice Gatland. - Hello.- Ooh, hello.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- What's your question and who's it for?- It's for Neil.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- Oh, hi!- Neil, do you ever go drinking with Martin Clunes?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Yeah, yeah.- Do you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20We go drinking whenever we're together, of course, yeah.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23My excuse for when I turn up at his house, his wife...
0:22:23 > 0:22:24The first thing he does is,
0:22:24 > 0:22:26"Fancy a Scotch?" You know, because, um...
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- Is he already shaking? - He's nodding at me.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32He's nodding at me saying, "Please say yes"
0:22:32 > 0:22:35because at home the wife doesn't really let him drink Scotch.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37She'll walk in and we'll be pouring the Scotch
0:22:37 > 0:22:40and he'll go, "Neil asked for it."
0:22:40 > 0:22:43So I'm his whisky excuse, you know, which is good.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Connor. Connor Byrne.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Question's for Jason. I just want to know
0:22:47 > 0:22:51if he thinks Man City will win the Premiership this season?
0:22:51 > 0:22:55- Well, now we're talking. Here we go. Erm... - AUDIENCE MEMBER: No!- No.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56LAUGHTER
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- I think so. We won the last season...- By a goal.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02By a goal, but it still counts, doesn't it?
0:23:02 > 0:23:05I mean, you know, that's how it works, by goals.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08"You won 1-0." "Yeah, by a goal."
0:23:08 > 0:23:11That's how it works. That's the whole system!
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Yeah, you're right. Excellent. Yeah.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Judy, Judy, Judy. Judy Mayland.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Hello, Judy.- Hi.- Hiya.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Who's your question for?
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- It's for Ronan.- OK. - I'm getting married in nine weeks
0:23:24 > 0:23:29and I would love my last dance as a single woman to be with you.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31What do you think?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33AUDIENCE: Oooh!
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Ronan, what do you think?- Yeah. - He'll do it.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43OK, well, come down. Come down, Judy. Ronan.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44Love you. Love you, Rob.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- Come and, um... - Thank you.- It's all right.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- So, it's... Hello.- Hello. - Here's what we'll do to make it fun.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54We'll imagine it's the Christmas disco at school.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57It's the last dance, OK?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00I've done my Shakin' Stevens, OK?
0:24:00 > 0:24:01It's the last dance, OK?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Ronan and I, the two best-looking boys in the year,
0:24:03 > 0:24:08are stood and the slow dance song comes on
0:24:08 > 0:24:13and we wonder who Judy will choose to dance with, OK?
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- Very good.- OK, so, when the music starts, you come over.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23You come over and make your choice, OK?
0:24:23 > 0:24:26MUSIC: "Baby Can I hold You" by Ronan Keating
0:24:30 > 0:24:32LAUGHTER
0:24:35 > 0:24:38LAUGHTER
0:24:38 > 0:24:40CHEERING
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Ladies and gentlemen, Ronan Keating and Judy.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10CHEERING
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Thank you for that.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15- Judy. - CHEERING
0:25:18 > 0:25:22Ronan, you are going to sing your new song for us - Fires.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24So, if you just go along and get yourself ready.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28- I'll get myself ready.- Thank you very much, Ronan Keating.- Thank you.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31But, first of all, let's hear it one more time for my guests
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Jason Manford and Neil Morrissey.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35CHEERING
0:25:35 > 0:25:38And now, with his brand-new single Fires, Ronan Keating.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50# You're far away, so far away
0:25:52 > 0:25:56# Have to believe that you can still feel me
0:25:56 > 0:26:00# And I can only wait
0:26:00 > 0:26:02# And miss you
0:26:02 > 0:26:07# Now we're locked in time Out on the wire
0:26:07 > 0:26:12# I wish that I could fight the world for you
0:26:12 > 0:26:14# I'm always on your side
0:26:16 > 0:26:20# If I could trade places you know I would
0:26:20 > 0:26:24# Hold on
0:26:24 > 0:26:27# Don't let go
0:26:27 > 0:26:33# Just stay on that road in that heartbeat
0:26:33 > 0:26:38# You're not alone in the dark
0:26:38 > 0:26:41# Can you see me?
0:26:42 > 0:26:47# Cos I'll be lighting fires Fires, for you
0:26:47 > 0:26:52# I'll be lighting fires Fires, for you
0:26:52 > 0:26:58# I'm there in the light when you need me
0:26:58 > 0:27:01# To find my way home
0:27:04 > 0:27:07# I'll never leave You know I won't
0:27:08 > 0:27:14# I feel you're close You're coming back to me
0:27:14 > 0:27:17# And summer may be over
0:27:17 > 0:27:21# But she leaves you her song
0:27:21 > 0:27:23# Hold on
0:27:25 > 0:27:28# Don't let go
0:27:28 > 0:27:34# Just stay on that road in that heartbeat
0:27:35 > 0:27:40# You're not alone in the dark
0:27:40 > 0:27:42# Can you see me?
0:27:43 > 0:27:48# Cos I'll be lighting fires Fires, for you
0:27:48 > 0:27:52# I'll be lighting fires Fires, for you
0:27:52 > 0:27:57# I'm there in the light when you need me
0:27:57 > 0:28:02# To find your way home
0:28:04 > 0:28:08# I'll be lighting fires
0:28:08 > 0:28:13# I'll be lighting fires
0:28:13 > 0:28:17# Oh-whoa
0:28:17 > 0:28:23# Just stay on that road in that heartbeat
0:28:24 > 0:28:30# You're not alone in the dark
0:28:30 > 0:28:33# Can you see me
0:28:33 > 0:28:37# Cos I'll be lighting fires Fires, for you
0:28:37 > 0:28:41# I'll be lighting fires Fires, for you
0:28:41 > 0:28:48# I'm there in the light when you need me
0:28:48 > 0:28:53# To find your way home. #
0:28:53 > 0:28:55APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:28:55 > 0:29:00Come on, come on. Yeah. Yeah!
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Come on.
0:29:02 > 0:29:06- Let's get a band together.- Woo!
0:29:07 > 0:29:10Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd