0:00:02 > 0:00:04Telly, that magic box in the corner.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07It gives us access to a million different worlds,
0:00:07 > 0:00:10all from the comfort of our sofa.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13'In this series, I'm going to journey through the fantastic
0:00:13 > 0:00:16'world of TV with some of our favourite celebrities.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20'They've chosen the precious TV moments that shed light...'
0:00:20 > 0:00:22The wind almost blew my BLANK off!
0:00:22 > 0:00:24You're nearly in the telly, here!
0:00:24 > 0:00:26'..on the stories of their lives.'
0:00:26 > 0:00:28If you're so blinking clever, you look after him.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30This takes me back completely.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32'Some are funny...'
0:00:32 > 0:00:34# And when they were down they were down. #
0:00:34 > 0:00:36- '..some...'- Oh, thank you!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38'..are surprising.'
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- It terrifies the life out of me. - Yeah?
0:00:40 > 0:00:41'Some are inspiring.'
0:00:41 > 0:00:43I wanted to be on telly.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45That's it from me, back to you two.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47'And many...'
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Now this rather futuristic TV...
0:00:49 > 0:00:50'..are deeply moving.'
0:00:50 > 0:00:53And it was heartbreaking, I wept. It was heartbreaking.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55It's not real.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58So come watch with us as we hand-pick the vintage telly
0:00:58 > 0:01:00that helped turn our much-loved stars
0:01:00 > 0:01:03into the people they are today.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Welcome to The TV That Made Me.
0:01:14 > 0:01:19My guest today shot to fame in 1975 on Opportunity Knocks and has
0:01:19 > 0:01:23since carved an irresistible career on TV and radio.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29Yes, it's author and entertainer, the people's poet, Pam Ayres.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36The TV that made her includes a spine-chilling sci-fi classic...
0:01:36 > 0:01:395 million years...
0:01:39 > 0:01:41..one of the greatest sitcoms ever screened...
0:01:41 > 0:01:44I want my old hooter back!
0:01:44 > 0:01:49..and the legendary exploits of everybody's favourite bobby.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50Scarper, cop!
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Right, come back you lot! Come back here!
0:01:53 > 0:01:58So, I am pleased to welcome the one and only living legend, Pam Ayres!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Thank you, thank you, Brian.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01How do you feel about this?
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Are you excited about delving into your past?
0:02:04 > 0:02:05I think it's a nice idea
0:02:05 > 0:02:09because they were very important to me when I was young,
0:02:09 > 0:02:11those television programmes
0:02:11 > 0:02:13and it'd be really good to have another look at them.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Of course, this set you on a path to making you who you are today,
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- really, you know?- Yeah, I never anticipated that.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22I never anticipated that I would ever be on television
0:02:22 > 0:02:26and that it would make such a monumental change in my life.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28I never thought that.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32I used to want to be a ballet dancer, that was my earliest recollection.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- Really?- Yeah, I didn't really have the form for it though.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37HE CHUCKLES
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Well, today, we're showing a selection of highlights
0:02:41 > 0:02:43from your life, that made you into the person you are today.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46But first up, we're going to rewind
0:02:46 > 0:02:50and see what it was like to be a very young Pam Ayres.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Pam Ayres was the youngest of six children, of mum Phyllis
0:02:58 > 0:03:00and dad Stanley.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01The family lived in the beautiful
0:03:01 > 0:03:05and ancient village of Stanford in the Vale, Berkshire.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11It was the type of idyllic, rural childhood that now
0:03:11 > 0:03:16feels like it belongs to a long-lost era of British life.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18But I think we can still catch echoes of this golden age
0:03:18 > 0:03:21in Pam Ayres' famous verse.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Pam, tell us about the house you grew up in.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29The house I grew up in was
0:03:29 > 0:03:34a council house in a row of four council houses,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37each of which was divided into two.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40So, there were eight homes but four buildings.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44It had three bedrooms upstairs, two rooms downstairs,
0:03:44 > 0:03:46it had no hot water,
0:03:46 > 0:03:51it had a lavatory right next to the kitchen, which was comprised of a
0:03:51 > 0:03:55wooden seat over a galvanised bucket
0:03:55 > 0:03:58with a flared top and two handles. HE LAUGHS
0:03:58 > 0:04:02- Well, it's true.- And you didn't have toilet paper then, did you?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Nobody had toilet paper, nobody had toilet paper.
0:04:05 > 0:04:10There was just discarded newspapers.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13I'm sure there's a lot of people that don't appreciate that.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15So, it would be someone's task to rip these into...?
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Nobody even bothered.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I mean, my granny was very impressive to me
0:04:19 > 0:04:23because she had cut up the newspaper into squares.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26She'd pierced a hole with a nail or something and it was hung up on a
0:04:26 > 0:04:29piece of string, so you had these neat squares of newspaper
0:04:29 > 0:04:31to use as loo roll.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34And what was that... So you saw that as being posh?
0:04:34 > 0:04:35That was posh
0:04:35 > 0:04:37cos our family just had a load of newspapers strewn around
0:04:37 > 0:04:43the place and you just ripped off what you felt the event required, really.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Your comedy heroes. Your comedy heroes?
0:04:51 > 0:04:54- Mine. My early ones. - One of mine as well.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Let's not say anything.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Let's just have a little look at a bit of Hancock.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03BBC television presents Tony Hancock in...
0:05:06 > 0:05:07..Hancock's half-hour.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12I loved Tony Hancock, I loved him.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15- Oh, look.- Oh.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- I remember this so well. - He's had plastic surgery.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22On his nose, I know.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24That was the right nose! That was the nose I was supposed to have!
0:05:24 > 0:05:27There was nothing wrong with it. I've just been vain fool
0:05:27 > 0:05:29and I want my old hooter back!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I think Sid James is trying not to laugh there.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39It's the most unlikely bandage you ever saw.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43LAUGHTER
0:05:45 > 0:05:47It's a work of art.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Well, give me the mirror then, let me have a look at it.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- It's marvellous. I'm handsome, Sid.- Yeah.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I'm not kidding you, I never saw such a conk.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06You'll murder those women now.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Oh, you handsome devil.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Oh, God! That's the one that made my mother laugh.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16I never saw my mother laugh like that.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19When he said, "You handsome devil,"
0:06:19 > 0:06:23she was convulsed and tears rolled down her face.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27It was great, it's one of my really happy memories,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30because my mother didn't laugh that much, it was hard going.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32But, God, she laughed at that.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35I feel such affection for that clip.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- Yeah, yeah.- People loved him, didn't they? They adored him.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Yeah. I mean, it holds the test of time, doesn't it?
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Definitely. Because it was his voice, it was the hysteria,
0:06:47 > 0:06:51and he could use his voice so brilliantly.
0:06:51 > 0:06:56We all recognise him as having delusions of grandeur
0:06:56 > 0:06:59and thinking you're a bit better than perhaps you are.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01He was so clever at putting that across.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11This is what really scared, really terrified the young
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Pam Ayres. Have a little look.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21A warning may come quite unexpectedly.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24This kind of thing had a massive effect on me.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26You will hear the attack sound like this.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31Short public information films like this were produced by the government
0:07:31 > 0:07:35to advise us on how to protect ourselves from nuclear attack.
0:07:35 > 0:07:40This film was meant to be played on TV only in a national emergency,
0:07:40 > 0:07:44but huge public pressure meant they showed the films anyway.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49When I was in the village primary school,
0:07:49 > 0:07:53I remember often, over a long period of time,
0:07:53 > 0:07:58thinking whether I could get home, once you'd heard that warning,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00whether I could get home to be with my mum, so that...
0:08:00 > 0:08:03I wanted to be with her to look after her.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- Yeah, course.- It wasn't so much that I wanted her to look after me.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09It just goes to show how children think, doesn't it?
0:08:09 > 0:08:13I wanted to get home, so we could be together as we were annihilated
0:08:13 > 0:08:16and I didn't want her to be on her own.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19The school was right down the other end of the village,
0:08:19 > 0:08:20and it was a big village,
0:08:20 > 0:08:22and I used to think, "Well, you've got two minutes.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24"I wonder how far you can run in two minutes?"
0:08:24 > 0:08:28The fear of nuclear attack hung over us right through the Cold War,
0:08:28 > 0:08:30up to the 1980s.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32But the most dangerous period was
0:08:32 > 0:08:36around the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39I mean, this is all through the '60s, very much
0:08:39 > 0:08:43that whole Kennedy period, where we were all living on the edge,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46and these sort of videos were being shown to say "Look,"
0:08:46 > 0:08:48and the things they wanted you to do,
0:08:48 > 0:08:51like hide under the kitchen table or go underneath the stairs.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I know, I don't think it would have done much good, would it?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56I don't think, if a nuclear bomb was going off,
0:08:56 > 0:08:58hiding under the table was going to do much good.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Could you get under the stairs before you were vaporised?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03At least you can check the meter just before you go.
0:09:03 > 0:09:08Yeah, but it did have a profound effect on me,
0:09:08 > 0:09:10that fear of a nuclear attack.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14Go to your fallout room and stay there.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16If the fallout warning sounds are heard,
0:09:16 > 0:09:18they will be like these.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20DEEP THUD
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- It must have been absolutely horrific.- Yeah, terrifying.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27After two days, the danger from fallout will get less,
0:09:27 > 0:09:30but don't take any risks by contact with it.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32And something else that terrified you was Quatermass.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Quatermass. I was mortified.
0:09:35 > 0:09:40Anything I'd seen on TV before had been entertaining and fun,
0:09:40 > 0:09:43and suddenly this thing started on TV,
0:09:43 > 0:09:45and my four brothers were all agog to watch it,
0:09:45 > 0:09:48and so I sat down innocently to watch it.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50But I remember the episode that scared me stiff.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54It was a spaceship and they found it under some houses in London,
0:09:54 > 0:09:57as I recall, and they excavated it
0:09:57 > 0:09:59and scientists went down to it
0:09:59 > 0:10:04and it was found to contain an alien presence.
0:10:04 > 0:10:09And this scientist came out from underground looking absolutely aghast
0:10:09 > 0:10:11and he said the classic words,
0:10:11 > 0:10:14he said, "It walked through the wall."
0:10:14 > 0:10:17And I went, "Oh, my God!"
0:10:17 > 0:10:19I was just petrified.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23And then afterwards, I didn't have the courage to watch it.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26It did really upset me. I was disturbed by Quatermass.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30I feel reluctant to show you a scene from Quatermass.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33I'm a big girl now, I can probably cope.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Are you sure you're going to be all right? Do you want to hold my hand?
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Yeah.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Oh, here we go.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Oh, my God. Look at it. Oh, look.
0:10:47 > 0:10:52And The Pit. Doesn't it sound awful?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54About here they dug out the first skull.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56It's amazing to see it again.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58This is the bombsite.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00A trifle muddy.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Oh! I don't think he meant that. I think he genuinely slipped.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07It's not exactly hidden, is it?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Two or three feet above this level.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Quatermass And The Pit was the third
0:11:12 > 0:11:14instalment of Professor Bernard Quatermass' struggle
0:11:14 > 0:11:16against alien forces.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22The scary mixture of science and mystery proved incredibly successful,
0:11:22 > 0:11:26and influenced everything from Dr Who to The X-Files.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Tell me again, how long did you estimate that skull had been there?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Something like five million years.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Oh, close-up.- Oh, crumbs.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Five million years?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Cue the dramatic music.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44It was very scary.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46There wasn't much of that kind of thing around.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Nowadays, horror films and graphic scenes are commonplace,
0:11:50 > 0:11:53but there wasn't much around then
0:11:53 > 0:11:56that was really frightening.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58It left a great deal to the imagination.
0:11:58 > 0:12:03I mean, you didn't see any monster, or any alien, or anything.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07It was just somebody had seen something and he looked aghast.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11- Do you think that was the power of it?- Yeah, I do.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12Nigel Kneale, the twisted
0:12:12 > 0:12:15writing genius behind Quatermass,
0:12:15 > 0:12:20also gave us the haunted building shocker - The Stone Tape.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23If you saw Jane Asher and Michael Bates in that
0:12:23 > 0:12:26on Christmas Day, 1972,
0:12:26 > 0:12:30you're probably still trying to forget it.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34You might not want to be reminded of The Woman In Black either, starring
0:12:34 > 0:12:35a brilliant Pauline Moran,
0:12:35 > 0:12:39it went out on ITV on Christmas Eve in 1989.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46But my favourite chiller actually starred Michael Parkinson,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Sarah Greene and Mike Smith.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Ghostwatch was a hoax live TV programme
0:12:52 > 0:12:56broadcast on Halloween in 1992.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59It terrified so many unwitting viewers,
0:12:59 > 0:13:04the BBC got 30,000 complaints in an hour.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06It has never been broadcast again.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18Now, before we move on to our next clip, we've got a TV ad,
0:13:18 > 0:13:21a TV classic. This is from 1982.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Right. '82?- Yes.- Right.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27I'm not saying a word. Have a little look at this.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Oh, I loved this.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Like your new dog, Artwright.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Here, boy. Up, up.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Remember?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37I loved this.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39He doesn't do much, does he?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Fancy a drop of John Smith's?
0:13:42 > 0:13:45In this award-winning technical wonder from the '80s,
0:13:45 > 0:13:48the hilarious reactions from the ale-drinking gentleman
0:13:48 > 0:13:50was central to its impact.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54You know, we're so used to computer-generated stuff these days...
0:13:54 > 0:13:56- I know, yeah.- ..but it's lovely.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59There probably was someone holding the poor thing's back legs up.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02You can imagine there's about five blokes under there doing this.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05But for me, the thingy going, whatever you would call it...
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- Yeah, that feather blower thing. - Yeah.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09The advert was shot using a simple
0:14:09 > 0:14:11split screen technique,
0:14:11 > 0:14:13with the dog's tricks spliced
0:14:13 > 0:14:16between the actors' reactions.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Becky the dog didn't
0:14:17 > 0:14:20do all her own tricks, by the way.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22She just needs the right motivation.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24John Smith's bitter.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27I loved that ad. That was my favourite ad of all time.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31- So, what did you love about that ad? - Well, it was a surprise.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34It was all so static. They say, "Oh, he doesn't do much, does he?"
0:14:34 > 0:14:37And then all of a sudden, it's all happening.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40It's the absurdity of it I like.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42- Are you an animal lover, Pam?- Yeah.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- It's a given, isn't it? - I do like animals very much.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48I'm interested in animals, I like observing animals,
0:14:48 > 0:14:54I hate cruelty to animals. So, yeah, you could call me an animal person.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Have you got any animals?
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Yeah, I've got eight cows, and chickens - I've got laying hens -
0:14:59 > 0:15:05I'm involved with a place that re-homes battery hens.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10Every 18 months or so, the battery hens are chucked out
0:15:10 > 0:15:13and they usually go to be made into pies and suchlike.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16But actually, they still lay well, and lots of people like me,
0:15:16 > 0:15:20and millions of other people, like to have a few to - A, to give them
0:15:20 > 0:15:23a decent life, and B, to have the eggs.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26So I've got about eight chickens at the moment.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I've got a poem called The Battery Hen.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- Can we have a little bit of The Battery Hen?- The Battery Hen?
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Yeah. It was... It went like this.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Oh. I am a battery hen,
0:15:36 > 0:15:39On my back there's not a germ,
0:15:39 > 0:15:41I never scratched a farmyard,
0:15:41 > 0:15:43And I never pecked a worm,
0:15:43 > 0:15:45I never had the sunshine,
0:15:45 > 0:15:47To warm me feathers through,
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Eggs I lay. Every day.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52For the likes of you.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54When you has 'em scrambled,
0:15:54 > 0:15:55And piled up on your plate,
0:15:55 > 0:15:58It's me what you should thank for that,
0:15:58 > 0:16:00I never lays them late,
0:16:00 > 0:16:03I always lays them regular,
0:16:03 > 0:16:05I always lays them right,
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I never lays them brown,
0:16:07 > 0:16:10I always lays them white.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12That's a little fragment.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14That was excellent.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Pam's been surrounded by animals all her life,
0:16:17 > 0:16:21from tiny birds to huge horses, she has loved them all.
0:16:26 > 0:16:31Your family favourite was Dixon Of Dock Green.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Yeah, we liked Dixon Of Dock Green.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36You know, we get some weird and wonderful characters
0:16:36 > 0:16:38down this area, and some of the best are the oldest.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Like old Duffy, for instance.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43I remember particularly watching it with my dad.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45My mum used to love the cinema.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48She used to rave about Gone With The Wind and all those old films.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51And on Saturday nights, sometimes she used to get on the bus
0:16:51 > 0:16:54and go to Wantage on her own to go to the pictures.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57And Dad never wanted to go, so Dad and I used to be at home
0:16:57 > 0:16:59and we'd watch Dixon of Dock Green.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02And he'd come and say, "Evening, all."
0:17:02 > 0:17:05And I got a nice, companionable feeling
0:17:05 > 0:17:09when I think about it, cos I think of being there in our house with my dad.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Any favourite characters from Dixon Of Dock Green?
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Oh, yeah, I used to have an extremely soft spot
0:17:14 > 0:17:17for Andy Crawford and his quiff.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18Yeah?
0:17:18 > 0:17:21So, was this your very first teenage crush?
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Yeah, I think it was, actually.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26I didn't actually put it in those words.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28I didn't think, "Cor! I fancy him,"
0:17:28 > 0:17:31but I just liked looking at him.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Yeah.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- I liked looking at him. - Who did you not like?
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- I didn't like Mary, his wife, much.- Oh, of course. That's a given.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42She was an impostor, as far as I was concerned.
0:17:42 > 0:17:48Spurs away. Grimsby, Rotherham, a draw.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Newcastle, let me see.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Oh, yeah, the football pools.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Oh, yeah, the football pools.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58God, we had to keep quiet every night,
0:17:58 > 0:18:01every Saturday night when my dad did the football pools.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Everybody did the football pools, you know?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07- They'd all get the blue form out. - Oh, yeah.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Dixon was actually murdered the first time
0:18:10 > 0:18:14he ever appeared on screen, in the film The Blue Lamp.
0:18:14 > 0:18:19But he was resurrected by the BBC in 1955 and remained a calm,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21kind and reassuring presence
0:18:21 > 0:18:24on his TV beat for 21 years.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- That's what I call real damage. - Scarper, cop!
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Right, come back, you lot. Here, come back here!
0:18:30 > 0:18:31"Scarper, cops."
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- You all right in there, Mrs Berry?- Who's that?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36- I mean, there was always a moral there.- Yeah.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39I remember him saying once, once they found a policemen who'd been
0:18:39 > 0:18:43taking bribes or something, and he came on at the end
0:18:43 > 0:18:48and he said, "There's nothing worse than a rotten copper."
0:18:48 > 0:18:52And he said it with such relish, I always remembered it.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56"There's nothing worse than a rotten copper," he said.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59His voice was dripping with contempt, you know?
0:19:01 > 0:19:04TV has a long history of good cops like Dixon,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07but the odd one goes bad.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11If you don't want to know what happens to my big three bent bobbies,
0:19:11 > 0:19:12cover your ears now.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19Coming third on my bad cop-ometer is Lorcan Cranitch.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23His DS Jimmy Beck was tragically flawed in Cracker.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26His crimes led to a fatal dive from a tall building.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Second is Inspector Lindsay Denton, played by the wonderful
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Keeley Hawes, who gets life for
0:19:34 > 0:19:36bad behaviour in the Line Of Duty,
0:19:36 > 0:19:38and I still don't know
0:19:38 > 0:19:40if she's guilty.
0:19:40 > 0:19:45But the best bent copper has to be Gene Hunt, AKA, Philip Glenister,
0:19:45 > 0:19:50who didn't get life, or even have to die, because he was already dead.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52At the end of Ashes To Ashes,
0:19:52 > 0:19:54he even turns out to be an angel.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57I preferred him when he was bad.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07When did you start writing?
0:20:07 > 0:20:09I joined the Women's Royal Air Force,
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- and I was posted to RAF Seletar in Singapore when I was 19.- Wow.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16And, erm, there they had good folk clubs.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20They had folk clubs and choirs and amateur dramatic groups,
0:20:20 > 0:20:25and I sort of joined them all, cos that was... I felt so drawn to it.
0:20:25 > 0:20:30And then the amateur dramatic group I belonged to, the theatre club,
0:20:30 > 0:20:32they used to have a club night on Friday nights
0:20:32 > 0:20:35when people would get up and do a turn of some sort, and that was
0:20:35 > 0:20:39when I started to write my own poems, and I wrote one called
0:20:39 > 0:20:43Foolish Brother Luke, and that was what made people really laugh,
0:20:43 > 0:20:47and I started to think, "Gaw, I wrote that and they laughed."
0:20:47 > 0:20:51It was after I came out of the Air Force, then I went to
0:20:51 > 0:20:55various local folk clubs and they started to pay me,
0:20:55 > 0:20:57because people liked my poems,
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I started to be paid 12 quid for a turn...
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Which is a lot, I mean, you know.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04I was earning, you know, at that time,
0:21:04 > 0:21:06I was earning about £23 a week,
0:21:06 > 0:21:10so two turns in the folk club, which I loved doing,
0:21:10 > 0:21:13equated to a week's, you know...
0:21:14 > 0:21:19..typing in a boring engineering works.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21So, it was fantastic for me, I...
0:21:21 > 0:21:24And I wondered if I could keep it going.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26And then how did Opportunity Knocks come about?
0:21:26 > 0:21:29What happened next was that BBC Radio Oxford came round
0:21:29 > 0:21:30recording for The Folk Programme,
0:21:30 > 0:21:33and I was declaiming I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth
0:21:33 > 0:21:36or one of my classic gems,
0:21:36 > 0:21:40and they said, "Come in and do some on Radio Oxford, on the BBC."
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Then I produced a little pamphlet of my poems,
0:21:43 > 0:21:47and I toted it round the bookshops and I sold 7,000...
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- BRIAN INHALES - Wow!
0:21:49 > 0:21:51..which was extraordinary.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54So you're now realising that you can make a serious living at this?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Well, yeah. I mean, people...
0:21:56 > 0:22:02I was astounded, after I began to do paid performances in folk clubs,
0:22:02 > 0:22:05that people would say to me, "Where can I get a copy of that poem?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07"Where can I buy a copy?"
0:22:07 > 0:22:08It was the most amazing thing
0:22:08 > 0:22:12that people actually wanted to give me money for what I'd written,
0:22:12 > 0:22:16and it was the most heady, intoxicating thing.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20It wasn't long before opportunity literally came knocking.
0:22:20 > 0:22:25In 1956, Hughie Green's original idea for a radio talent show,
0:22:25 > 0:22:30Opportunity Knocks, became the biggest entertainment show on TV.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34It could turn a talented unknown into a massive star overnight,
0:22:34 > 0:22:37like it did with Mary Hopkin in 1968,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Bonnie Langford in 1970,
0:22:40 > 0:22:44and Lena Zavaroni in 1974.
0:22:44 > 0:22:49Pam Ayres got her shot of instant, life-changing fame in 1975.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57- Shall we have a look at you on Opportunity Knocks?- Yeah.
0:22:57 > 0:22:58I don't want to look at this.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Oh, I don't want to look at this!
0:23:00 > 0:23:04Sling another chair leg on the fire, Mother.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Look at the hairstyle!
0:23:06 > 0:23:10Sling another chair leg on the fire, Mother,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Pull your orange box up to the blaze.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- I hope my sons never see this.- Why?
0:23:18 > 0:23:23- Cos I look a perfect pillock. - You look blooming gorgeous. You do.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Come with me out to the empty garage,
0:23:26 > 0:23:30We haven't been there for a week or more,
0:23:30 > 0:23:34We'll bow our heads and gaze in silent homage,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36At the spots of oil upon the floor.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38LAUGHTER
0:23:38 > 0:23:41We'll think of when we had a motorcar there,
0:23:41 > 0:23:45That used to take us out in rain or shine,
0:23:45 > 0:23:49Before the price of petrol went beyond us,
0:23:49 > 0:23:52And we'll make believe we kept it one more time.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54APPLAUSE
0:24:00 > 0:24:03I find it unbearable to see that. I just...
0:24:03 > 0:24:06I don't feel any sort of pleasure in that at all.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09I don't think I've had any guests react like they have
0:24:09 > 0:24:10- to watching themselves.- Really? No.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12- You do really struggle with it, don't you?- I can't...
0:24:12 > 0:24:15I find it unbearable, it just... Oh, I hate it.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Can you explain why? I mean...
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Erm...
0:24:22 > 0:24:24I don't know, I sort of feel as though
0:24:24 > 0:24:29- I went a bit wrong there, because... - Why?- Because, erm...
0:24:29 > 0:24:30In that particular...?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32I think I...
0:24:32 > 0:24:35I so wanted to be a writer.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39I so wanted to make some sort of an impact
0:24:39 > 0:24:41as a good writer,
0:24:41 > 0:24:43I then sort of got lumbered with, erm...
0:24:44 > 0:24:46..the village idiot sort of...
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- ..image.- Really?- Yeah.- Because...?
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Oh, cos of the crappy accent and the crappy hairstyle.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Well, there's nothing wrong with your hair...
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- SHE LAUGHS - ..and that's the way you talk.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Yeah, I know.- You know?- And...
0:25:02 > 0:25:06I mean, I know I talk like that and I wouldn't ever try and change it.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10It's the accent my mum and dad had and my granny and grampy had.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I love it, but, I don't know.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16After that, I sort of got horribly overexposed.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18- I couldn't say it was a happy time. - Mm.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- It was happy, in that people liked what I'd written.- Mm-hm.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22That was a gorgeous bit of it.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26But the other side of it was not so good, it was...
0:25:26 > 0:25:29I was... Just endlessly
0:25:29 > 0:25:32- book promotion, book promotion, book promotion.- Mm.- I never got home.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34I mean, I had money for the first time in my life,
0:25:34 > 0:25:38which was indescribably thrilling,
0:25:38 > 0:25:41but I just feel like I took the wrong turning, really.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I wanted to be a good writer and...
0:25:45 > 0:25:49..use the vocabulary I had and the writing skills that I knew I had
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- and, sort of, I feel like that was... - Mm.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54So, in reflection, do you, in some ways,
0:25:54 > 0:25:57wish you'd never done Opportunity Knocks?
0:25:57 > 0:25:58- In some ways, I do, yeah.- Yeah?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- That's really interesting. - It's interesting, yeah.- And tough.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- And you would not have expected that.- Well...
0:26:03 > 0:26:07And also, like you say, being at the height of your fame
0:26:07 > 0:26:10and not enjoying it.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- I couldn't say I enjoyed those early years.- Uh-huh.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17I love it now, cos I've got the confidence and I think, you know,
0:26:17 > 0:26:22- I've got a better view of things, but then I was very confused.- Mm.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Cos there was a lot of hostility towards me and I didn't like it.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Who would?
0:26:32 > 0:26:34So what sort of stuff are you watching now?
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- Well, I like Poldark. I did like Poldark very much.- Yeah.- That's good.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41I liked Wolf Hall very much. I thought that was mesmerisingly good.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44- Mm-hm.- And I like Blue Bloods. - Call The Midwife?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46I like Call The Midwife, but I cry.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50In common with many women, I cry when babies are born.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52It does something to you.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54I think, when you've had babies of your own,
0:26:54 > 0:26:58these births on that programme just...
0:26:58 > 0:27:02- I cry.- Yeah.- It's mystifying, really. - Yeah, yeah.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06They produce a rubber baby from under somebody's nightie
0:27:06 > 0:27:07and I'm sitting at home going...
0:27:07 > 0:27:10SHE GROANS "Oh! It's too much."
0:27:10 > 0:27:13- Listen, you haven't been too much. - SHE LAUGHS
0:27:13 > 0:27:15You've been absolutely fantastic today.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18We always let our guests choose a theme tune. Er...
0:27:18 > 0:27:20- so...- I know what I'd like.- Go on.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23- It's been a great pleasure to talk to you, as well. It's great.- Oh...
0:27:23 > 0:27:26- And I would like to choose, for my theme tune...- Mm-hm.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28We used to love, when we were kids,
0:27:28 > 0:27:32our mum used to love thrillers by Francis Durbridge.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36He, or she, was a writer, I'm not sure what gender they were.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- But there was one called The Scarf. - Uh-huh.
0:27:39 > 0:27:43Which was really gripping and it had this...
0:27:43 > 0:27:46- very evocative signature tune.- Mm.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49- Well, we're going to hear it right now.- Can I have that, please?
0:27:49 > 0:27:51- Yeah.- My many thanks to you, Pam Ayres.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53- Ooh, do it again!- You've been absolutely lovely. Go on.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56And my thanks to you for watching the TV That Made Me.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59- From me and Pam, bye-bye.- Bye-bye.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01MUSIC: The Girl from Corsica