0:00:02 > 0:00:04TV - the magic box of delights.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07As kids, it showed us a million different worlds
0:00:07 > 0:00:08all from our living room.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- So funny!- That was state-of-the-art.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14- HE SCREAMS - I loved this.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17'Each day, I'm going to journey through
0:00:17 > 0:00:19'the wonderful world of telly...'
0:00:19 > 0:00:22- Cheers.- '..with one of our favourite celebrities...'
0:00:22 > 0:00:25- We're going into space. - It's just so silly.- Oh, no!
0:00:28 > 0:00:31- Yeah!- '..as they select the iconic TV moments...'
0:00:33 > 0:00:35- My God, this is the scene.- Oh, dear.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38'..that tell us the stories of their lives.'
0:00:39 > 0:00:40I absolutely adored this.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43- 'Some will make you laugh...' - SHE LAUGHS
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Don't watch the telly, Esther. Watch me.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47- '..some will surprise...' - HE LAUGHS
0:00:47 > 0:00:50No way! Where did you find this?
0:00:50 > 0:00:51'..many will inspire...'
0:00:51 > 0:00:55It used to transport us to places that we could only dream about.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57'..and others will move us.'
0:00:57 > 0:00:58I am emotional now.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Today, we look even more deeply.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Why wouldn't you want to watch this?
0:01:02 > 0:01:06So, come watch with us as we rewind to the classic telly
0:01:06 > 0:01:09that helped shape those wide-eyed youngsters
0:01:09 > 0:01:11into the much-loved stars they are today.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21- APPLAUSE - Welcome to The TV That Made Me.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23My guest today has been the King of the Jungle,
0:01:23 > 0:01:25the star of the Square.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27It can only be the one and only Joe Swash.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Welcome, Joe.- Hello, mate.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32- You all right? - Sit yourself down there.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Thank you very much.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37- Joe Swash!- Hello. CHEERING
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Look at that cheer. They love you, Joe.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42A gentleman who is humble, shy, modest, tough, deadly, resourceful,
0:01:42 > 0:01:44at the peak of his physical fitness and mental alertness,
0:01:44 > 0:01:46- handsome, debonair...- Oh, stop it.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48..devastatingly beautiful young lady.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Here, let me give you that.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Thanks for that, mate. THEY LAUGH
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- Oh, thank you very much indeed. - Don't spend it at once.- I won't.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Joe Swash began his career as a child actor
0:02:00 > 0:02:03before graduating to Albert Square.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05His character, Mickey Miller,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08was a wide boy with an eye for the ladies,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11a part that fitted Joe like a glove.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16We all loved Mickey, but after five glorious years in Walford,
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Joe surprised us all when he turned up down under
0:02:19 > 0:02:21as King of the Jungle.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26The TV that made him includes
0:02:26 > 0:02:30the show that made a drama out of an emergency,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32the comedy of a catchphrase king...
0:02:32 > 0:02:37- I am turning the television off. - What? Why?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39..and the soap that made him a star.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41It's burning a hole in my pocket.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43- Are you excited about the day, looking back?- I am.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45When they asked me to do this
0:02:45 > 0:02:47and started speaking about the programmes that I'd done,
0:02:47 > 0:02:50all these memories come flying back that you forgot about.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54So, it was like kind of walking through your history a little bit.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55It was nice.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Yeah. So, we're going to go back to your childhood.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01- Yeah, my childhood cos they're my most vivid memories of TV.- Really?
0:03:01 > 0:03:05I think TV is everywhere these days,
0:03:05 > 0:03:07so, as a kid, it really does shape your view
0:03:07 > 0:03:09on what you like and what you don't like.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12So, yeah, it'll be nice to show you my childhood programmes.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Oh, I'm looking forward to it, mate.- Yeah.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17And there's so many I forgot about as well.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19All these other programmes come flying back.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21- We'll do another show with you. - I've got loads for you.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- We'll do a series just on Joe. - You don't need any more guests.- No.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27- Just me and you, innit? - Just me and you.- Yeah.- Give me that.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28First up, we're going to rewind the clock
0:03:28 > 0:03:31and have a look at a very young Joe Swash.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Oh, right. OK, this is interesting.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Joe Swash is a Londoner through and through.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40He was born in Islington in 1982
0:03:40 > 0:03:43to doting parents Ricky and Catherine.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Sadly, Ricky died of a heart condition
0:03:47 > 0:03:49when Joe was just 12,
0:03:49 > 0:03:52which made the bond between him and his two younger sisters,
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Caisie and Shana, even stronger.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Joe went to the famous Anna Scher Theatre School in Islington
0:04:02 > 0:04:06where he studied alongside young talents like Natalie Cassidy.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09They both went on to join the cast of EastEnders
0:04:09 > 0:04:13where Joe was joined by his real-life sister Shana,
0:04:13 > 0:04:16who played his on-screen sister Demi.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19What was the young Joe Swash like?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Oh, you know what? I reckon the young Joe Swash...
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- I reckon I was probably very hard to live with.- Really?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Yeah, cos I had a lot of energy and I needed to do stuff
0:04:26 > 0:04:30and touch stuff, and I broke a lot of stuff as a kid.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32I think I tested my mum's patience.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34So, TV, for my mum, was like a blessing
0:04:34 > 0:04:38cos that was the only time I'd sit down and not do nothing for a while.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Have you got trouble with haemorrhoids at the moment?
0:04:40 > 0:04:42LAUGHTER I think they're all right.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Then why are you sitting on my pillow?
0:04:44 > 0:04:47It makes me feel slightly taller. LAUGHTER
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- It's like a booster seat. - Do you feel inferior?- No.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54You're a big man, aren't you? You've got a good frame on you, Bri.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56HE LAUGHS
0:04:56 > 0:04:58So, that's what made you sit on my pillow.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Yeah, I've got a habit of sitting on pillows.- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04So, you know, this sort of frantic person, as a child,
0:05:04 > 0:05:07you know, breaking stuff and everything else,
0:05:07 > 0:05:09was there anything wrong with you?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Well, if you ask my mum, she'll probably say there was.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14HE LAUGHS I think I just had a lot of energy
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- as a kid, so, you know... - But you always have.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19- You're always full of life, full of energy.- Yeah.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22- Does Joe Swash ever sort of go...? - HE EXHALES
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Is it when you're watching the telly? Do you relax then?
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I think that is my time of relaxation, is watching the telly.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30I know I should be doing other stuff, like, you know,
0:05:30 > 0:05:34going for a run, you know, doing some sort of paperwork,
0:05:34 > 0:05:36but when I'm in front of the TV,
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I can really just turn off and kind of just do nothing.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42My brain's got...my brain don't stop working.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44It's always thinking about something else.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47So, when the TV's on, me and the TV, we've got a great relationship.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- Do you find it difficult to sleep? Are you a bit of an insomniac?- I do.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55I have the TV on in the background when I sleep. I put it on a timer.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57So, I need to have that sort of talking in the background.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58- Oh, really?- Yeah, yeah.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01So, the TV, not only do I watch it,
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I use it to go to bed, it wakes me up in the...
0:06:03 > 0:06:05It's like having a girlfriend, my TV.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07LAUGHTER Yeah.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Now it's time for your first TV choice.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16- This is your earliest TV memory.- OK.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Well, let's just take a look, shall we?- All right.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Yes. You see, furry face... - 'Oh, Grotbag.'- ..it means
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- you'd make a lot of money. - CASH REGISTER CHIMES
0:06:23 > 0:06:27- Do you remember this?- Grotbags? Yeah, I do vaguely remember it.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31There's a lot of cash to be made from an improved mouse restrainer.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34'The programme revolved around the everyday lives
0:06:34 > 0:06:37'of Carol Lee Scott's pantomime witch Grotbags
0:06:37 > 0:06:39'and her puppet minions.'
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Dodos hardly constitute a mass market.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44'The show owed much of its broad humour,
0:06:44 > 0:06:48'filming style and puppets to the great Rod Hull.'
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Boo! Ha-ha!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52'That's because Grotbags first appeared
0:06:52 > 0:06:54'as a character on Emu's World.'
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Shut up, furry ears.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58'Well, I think, if my son was watching this,'
0:06:58 > 0:07:01- he would've been scared of this. - He would? Why?
0:07:01 > 0:07:04He's scared of everything on TV, my little boy.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06He's a bit of a wimp when it comes to TV,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09and I think this would have sent him over the edge, the green lady.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11So, were you scared watching this as a young child?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13I think I might have been slightly scared.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- And I had a thing for witches as a kid.- Yeah.
0:07:16 > 0:07:21Not that I liked them, but I always thought that witches were around.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Do you know what I mean?
0:07:22 > 0:07:25So, I'd walk past my bathroom door at my mum's house,
0:07:25 > 0:07:28but every time I'd walk past the door and the lights were off,
0:07:28 > 0:07:29I'd have to do that cos I'd think
0:07:29 > 0:07:32that there would be a witch in there or under my bed.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35So, yeah, this was a little bit like sadomasochistic.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- And this all stemmed from Grotbags. - From Grotbags, yeah.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40And then Roald Dahl, he did The Witches, the film, remember?
0:07:40 > 0:07:41- Yeah.- The Witches.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43- That done me in for a couple of years.- Really?- Yeah.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45- Witches played a big part in my life.- Really?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47LAUGHTER Talking of my mum...
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- They've guided you? - HE LAUGHS
0:07:49 > 0:07:54- You'll take that bit out, won't you? - No.- Yeah. She'll kill me.- We won't.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Brats! We're knee deep in brats at the moment.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00'So, she used to refer to children as brats.'
0:08:00 > 0:08:03- Were you ever a brat?- Yeah, I think people would have called me...
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- But not a brat. I mean, a likeable brat, I think.- Yeah.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09You know, I wasn't malicious or rude.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- I just was, like, a real hyperactive...- Cheeky?
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- Yeah. ..boy. Hyperactive boy. - Cheeky lad.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Did you get into any scrapes? Were you accident-prone?
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Yeah, I've broken my legs, I've broken my arm,
0:08:20 > 0:08:22I've broken my fingers, my toes.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24So, bringing it back to Grotbags,
0:08:24 > 0:08:27what did you think of her costume, you know?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I wouldn't say it was a great costume.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Look, I think the wig's quite a teller.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- I think you can tell it's a wig, can't you?- I can tell that's a wig.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- I don't think that mole's real. - No, I don't think it...
0:08:37 > 0:08:38And I don't think she's green.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- But she's got crazy-looking eyes, doesn't she?- Yeah.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I'm surprised that she didn't go on to do other stuff.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44What, Shakespeare or...?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Yeah, a little bit of stage work. LAUGHTER
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- She's a good character actress, isn't she?- Yeah.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I could see her on Baywatch. They could call it Baywitch.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Children's TV has had its fair share of witches
0:08:55 > 0:08:57and ghouls over the years.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59In the '70s and '80s,
0:08:59 > 0:09:00you could find most of them
0:09:00 > 0:09:02hiring themselves out on Rentaghost,
0:09:02 > 0:09:04and characters like
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Molly Weir's Hazel McWitch
0:09:05 > 0:09:07were more likely to give you a hug
0:09:07 > 0:09:09than turn you into a frog.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12But in recent times, there has been an explosion
0:09:12 > 0:09:15of properly scary monsters.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16After making Doctor Who
0:09:16 > 0:09:18a worldwide hit,
0:09:18 > 0:09:20writing genius Russell T Davies
0:09:20 > 0:09:22launched Wizards Vs Aliens
0:09:22 > 0:09:25on unsuspecting children in 2012.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Reflecting the wide popularity of vampire movies for teens,
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Young Dracula featured
0:09:33 > 0:09:36horror star Keith-Lee Castle,
0:09:36 > 0:09:37fresh from the set
0:09:37 > 0:09:39of the diabolical Seed Of Chucky.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44And the Twilight effect is still hitting kids TV.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Children are currently watching
0:09:46 > 0:09:48werewolf drama Wolfblood,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51probably from behind the sofa.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53EVIL LAUGH
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- So, you worry about witches. - Worried about witches.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Is there anything else that spook you?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Um, yeah, I didn't like...
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- I don't like clowns. - Don't like clans?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Yeah, from an early age, clowns were a massive no-no for me.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- Do you mean clowns?- Clowns.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09You went, "Claaans."
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Just look behind you. Look, there's one.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Yeah, see, look at that. Look.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Why have you pulled that in here? That geezer does not look like...
0:10:17 > 0:10:19He looks like he's had half a bottle of whisky
0:10:19 > 0:10:22and is about go out and do something he's going to regret in the morning.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24This is very interesting.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26You think on a totally different level, don't you?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- LAUGHTER - What was your living room like, Joe?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- What was, you know, growing up....? - So, my house...
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Yeah, the house that I grew up in, it was...
0:10:33 > 0:10:35My mum still lives in that house.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37My sisters still live there and stuff,
0:10:37 > 0:10:39so it's nice to go back. It was a nice house.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42The front room wasn't massive. Similar sort of size to this.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Maybe smaller than this.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47So, we'd all have...like, my mum and dad used to have the sofa.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- Remember beanbags? - Yeah.- We used to have beanbags.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52So, you used to sit on a beanbag to watch the telly?
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Me and my sister used to have a beanbag until I broke the beanbag
0:10:55 > 0:10:56and the beans went everywhere.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- You know when the beans get, like, static electricity?- Yeah.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01They were stuck on the walls, on the ceilings.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03LAUGHTER My mum had the Hoover out.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06HE IMITATES HOOVER Yeah. So, the beanbags had to go,
0:11:06 > 0:11:09so we just had to sit on a cushion in the end, yeah.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11But, no, it was lovely because, as a family,
0:11:11 > 0:11:12we'd all sit around together.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14My dad was a London taxi driver, so...
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- My dad was a taxi driver. - Oh, was he?- Yeah.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- See, there you go.- There you go. - He used to come back on Fridays -
0:11:19 > 0:11:22that was his day - and he wouldn't work the weekends,
0:11:22 > 0:11:25so we'd get, like, a takeaway and all sit and watch TV.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28It's lovely. Really lovely memories of being in the front room.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31- Close family?- Really close family. Still really, really close.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Unfortunately, my dad passed away when we were younger,
0:11:34 > 0:11:37but as a family, we're really close, and we still watch TV together.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Your next choice is Family Favourite,
0:11:45 > 0:11:47a show you all used to watch together.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- Yeah.- Let's take a little look.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54Here, lads, look what I've found.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Fantastic.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03No way this is on the inventory.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07'Soldier Soldier applied the storytelling style of a soap
0:12:07 > 0:12:09'to the sometimes hard-hitting
0:12:09 > 0:12:11'and always adult military subject matter.'
0:12:11 > 0:12:14We're supposed to chuck out all the old stuff.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- There's a young Robson Green there, isn't it?- Robson Green, yeah.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Did you watch this, Bri? Cos this was your sort of era, wasn't it?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Yeah, no, I used to enjoy this.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27And, of course, wasn't it weird that they had a singing career?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Yeah. Well, I think only one of them could sing, couldn't they?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Right, you lot! Come on. Hurry up.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Nice and relaxed, are we?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39'With a peak of over 16 million viewers,
0:12:39 > 0:12:41'Soldier Soldier became a huge hit,
0:12:41 > 0:12:46'making stars of the dynamic duo Robson and Jerome.'
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- I'd done an episode of Soldier Soldier.- Oh, really?- Yeah.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54When my grandad was chaperoning me, when we were filming this,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56we gave Jerome a lift home to Islington
0:12:56 > 0:12:58cos he was playing football, so he was in my grandad's car.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00It was brilliant.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Do you think this was true to life of what life was like in the army?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- I've never been in the army. - No, so you couldn't comment.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I couldn't comment on that, but I could imagine it being like this.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- Have you ever been in the army? - No.- You look like a soldier.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Oh, I look like a soldier, don't I? Yeah, I'm trained to kill(!)
0:13:16 > 0:13:17Even though it was about the army,
0:13:17 > 0:13:19they were never at war in this programme, were they?
0:13:19 > 0:13:20No, you're right.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23So, it must have been at a peaceful time in the world
0:13:23 > 0:13:25- where there was no war.- Yeah.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- That made it cheaper to make, didn't it?- Yeah.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Yeah. LAUGHTER
0:13:29 > 0:13:30It's how your mind works, Joe.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32- I love it. I love it, yeah. - HE LAUGHS
0:13:32 > 0:13:35"There's no war, so it'd be cheaper to make."
0:13:35 > 0:13:36You know, it all makes sense, mate.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- It almost sounds boring, doesn't it?- Yeah.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41An army programme with no war. LAUGHTER
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- It's like... - Well, you loved it. You chose it.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46It's like watching The Bill, but with no criminals.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51TV has examined war from every conceivable angle
0:13:51 > 0:13:54and in every possible genre.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Sir Michael Caine made one of his first TV appearances
0:13:57 > 0:14:01in the early war drama Escape in 1957.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07And in 1964, Sir Michael Redgrave
0:14:07 > 0:14:10narrated one of television's greatest war documentaries,
0:14:10 > 0:14:12The Great War.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17In the late '60s, the powers that be in the BBC
0:14:17 > 0:14:19almost didn't green light a new comedy
0:14:19 > 0:14:21called The Fighting Tigers,
0:14:21 > 0:14:24worrying that it was too soon to laugh at the war.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27But the show was eventually commissioned with a new name -
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Dad's Army -
0:14:29 > 0:14:31and the rest is history.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35On a much grander scale,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38the '70s brought us War And Peace.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Sir Anthony Hopkins braved freezing winter conditions
0:14:42 > 0:14:43and put in a brilliant performance
0:14:43 > 0:14:45as Pierre Bezukhov
0:14:45 > 0:14:47in Tolstoy's epic.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Running at 14 hours and 40 minutes,
0:14:52 > 0:14:53the series outran
0:14:53 > 0:14:57the latest star-studded BBC version
0:14:57 > 0:14:58by over eight hours,
0:14:58 > 0:15:03which just goes to show that actors these days can't stand the cold.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- So, Joe, we're moving on to your Must See TV now.- Mm-hm.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20An absolute classic from down under. Let's have a little look at this.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25- Oh! Do you remember this?- I...
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- Go on. Tell me about it. - I know the theme tune.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31# ..when strange things happening Are you going round the twist? #
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Yeah. See, that little kid looked like me when I was a kid,
0:15:34 > 0:15:36my mum used to say.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39- This was a great programme. - So, what was it about?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Well, what I can remember is,
0:15:42 > 0:15:44is that just magical,
0:15:44 > 0:15:46weird things would happen to them.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48- Yeah.- And they'd have to explain why they happened.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51It was like a family of young kids and the mum and dad,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54and just how they kind of coped with them and stuff like that.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55None of it really made sense.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58The TV, when I was a kid, didn't make sense...
0:15:58 > 0:16:00HE LAUGHS ..as it does today.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02I'm hoping they'll be faster than this in the frog race.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Come on, Libby. Show them what you're made of. Go!
0:16:05 > 0:16:08'Actually, this comedy drama was about a widowed dad
0:16:08 > 0:16:09'and his three kids
0:16:09 > 0:16:13'who lived in a mysterious and ghostly lighthouse in Australia.'
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Got all these little hairs on them.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19- This must have been the dad. Look. See, it was a lighthouse.- Yeah.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23- Come on, let's have it. - I used it to brush my mouse.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- Use your own toothbrush, Bronson. - Not my mouth. My mouse.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29'It was sold all over the world,
0:16:29 > 0:16:33'winning awards in Canada, America and in Australia.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36'And 15 years after the last series was broadcast,
0:16:36 > 0:16:38'it's still watched down under.'
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Right.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45I used to fancy that girl as well a little bit.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48- She might have been my first sort of crush.- Oh, first crush.- Yeah.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Mice are disgusting creatures.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- I could get some terrible disease. - SHE SCREAMS
0:16:53 > 0:16:55It's in his pants. That'd have had me in stitches.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57LAUGHTER He's got a frog in his pants.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00I'd have been rolling around on the floor. It's amazing.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03Did it inspire you to be an actor?
0:17:03 > 0:17:07- I mean, cos you started at a really young age, didn't you?- Yeah.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Yeah, well, I started off doing, like, baby modelling
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- when I was about eight to six, six to seven or something.- Right.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Cos I had curly, long hair and it was bright red,
0:17:17 > 0:17:19and, like, at parties, my mum and dad used to say,
0:17:19 > 0:17:21"Joe, Joe, who's your dad?"
0:17:21 > 0:17:23And they trained me to say Mick Hucknall.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25LAUGHTER
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Which I think's a bit cruel, you know what I mean?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30But, yeah, I'd done a little bit of modelling,
0:17:30 > 0:17:33and then my mum is good friends with Linda Robson and Pauline Quirke,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36who my mum's known for years. They're like family.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39And they went to a place called Anna Scher's.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42And cos I had a lot of energy, they was like...
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- "We know where to stick him." - .."We'll stick him in there."
0:17:44 > 0:17:48And it was nice then because my energy was kind of
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- aimed towards something.- Yeah, you had something to focus on.- Yeah.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53And it kept me out of a lot of trouble as well
0:17:53 > 0:17:56because I really fell in love with being on TV and working.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Yeah.- So, I knew then...
0:17:59 > 0:18:01My mum and dad, they used to blackmail me, basically,
0:18:01 > 0:18:04say, "If you're naughty, you can't go to work."
0:18:04 > 0:18:06So it kind of kept me out of trouble.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- Kept me out of trouble for a long time.- Kept you focused.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Kept me focused as a young kid. To have a passion as a young kid,
0:18:11 > 0:18:13I think is really important
0:18:13 > 0:18:15cos it does keep you on the straight and narrow
0:18:15 > 0:18:17and it kind of keeps you kind of focused on something.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21- Did you do any adverts or anything like that?- Yeah, I did an advert.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23I'm sure you know about it. I'm sure you've got it.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- You've got it, haven't you? - I might have.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Shall we have a look at Joe Swash? - Let's have a look.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- Let's see Mick Hucknall live. - HE LAUGHS
0:18:31 > 0:18:37'Andrex's toilet tissue ads have always been, well, comforting.'
0:18:37 > 0:18:38There's a new kind of tissue...
0:18:38 > 0:18:41'Joe's ad appeared in 1989,
0:18:41 > 0:18:44'and features all the Andrex hallmarks.'
0:18:44 > 0:18:46- Is that you?- That's me.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- Aw, weren't you sweet?- Stop it.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52'The soft lighting, the domestic setting,
0:18:52 > 0:18:57'and all importantly, the cute puppy and even cuter kid.'
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Bleurgh! APPLAUSE
0:18:59 > 0:19:01That was, um... HE LAUGHS
0:19:01 > 0:19:03You've got to kiss me first.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05- No, I ain't going to kiss you. - You've got to kiss me, Bri.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- Come on. If we're going to do it, do it properly.- All right.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Mwah! Hold on.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Bleurgh! LAUGHTER
0:19:13 > 0:19:15You know I love you. I wouldn't do that.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- I'll have your kisses all day long. - Do you remember that day?- I do.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21I remember this day really, really clearly as well.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24There was an advert on TV at the time for...
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- Do you remember Breakaway biscuits?- Yeah.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29And they had the Breakaway kid who used to sit on top of a wall
0:19:29 > 0:19:31and eat the Breakaway biscuit.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34And then, at the same time, they used to have the Milky Way kid.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36- The Milkybar Kid. - The Milkybar Kid. That's it.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- So, there was always, like, a kid that was kind of...- All right.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- And you were the Andrex kid.- Yeah.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44But in the same studios, they had the Breakaway kid's set,
0:19:44 > 0:19:46and I remember thinking, "Oh, this is amazing.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48"This is incredible."
0:19:48 > 0:19:51And while we were filming, like, we sat on the sofa
0:19:51 > 0:19:53and they'd just bring in a big bucket of dogs.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55- Literally a bucket of dogs. - Oh, really?
0:19:55 > 0:19:58And they'd just chuck loads of puppies on you,
0:19:58 > 0:19:59these little Andrex puppies,
0:19:59 > 0:20:02and whichever puppy stayed on you was the puppy that got to work.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- Oh, right.- Yeah, it was brilliant. It was really good.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07What did they do with those puppies afterwards?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10- LAUGHTER - I'm going to need the tissues now.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Yeah, what did they do with them puppies afterwards?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14- Yeah, I know. Poor puppies. - LAUGHTER
0:20:14 > 0:20:18- Do you reckon they put them down? - Yeah, probably. Who knows?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20- The ones you didn't like. - HE LAUGHS
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- No, that was... - Did you do any other adverts?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26I think that was my first advert, and then, from that,
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I kind of stopped and did more acting.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31I started doing things like The Bill and some plays and stuff.
0:20:31 > 0:20:36But, yeah, that was my first sort of experience of filming,
0:20:36 > 0:20:37so that was what gave me the bug -
0:20:37 > 0:20:40after doing that day on the Andrex advert.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Joe Swash comes from a long line of actors
0:20:44 > 0:20:47who tried to sell us something long before we knew them
0:20:47 > 0:20:50as celebrities or even superstars.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Olivia Colman was selling
0:20:54 > 0:20:55car loans as Bev,
0:20:55 > 0:20:58wife of Kev, in the AA ads.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Now he's Hollywood's Ant-Man,
0:21:02 > 0:21:04but Paul Rudd once appeared
0:21:04 > 0:21:06selling Nintendos.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08And Paul Rudd's pal from Friends
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Matt LeBlanc once sold
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Heinz Ketchup and Cherry 7 Up.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17He might have battled evil as Neo in The Matrix,
0:21:17 > 0:21:20but Keanu Reeves has also sold Corn Flakes.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Even the titanic Leonardo DiCaprio used to flog Kraft cheese.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Joe, we're going to move on now to Parents' Choice.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40So, this is what my mum and dad would have chosen, yeah?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Yeah. Let's see what it was.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45MUSIC: 999 Theme Tune
0:21:45 > 0:21:47HE SINGS 999 THEME TUNE
0:21:47 > 0:21:49You know it's a serious programme with...
0:21:49 > 0:21:51HE SINGS 999 THEME TUNE
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- It's either 999 or the news, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56'The life-savers in leather on the streets of Bristol...'
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Yes, it's 999, created
0:21:58 > 0:22:02after the runaway success of Crimewatch UK.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06It was a reconstruction show featuring every emergency service
0:22:06 > 0:22:08from firefighters to coastguards.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11It proved that dramatising reality was hugely popular.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13It was an instant hit,
0:22:13 > 0:22:16with over 12 million of us watching every week.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22But watching it now, none of it looks particularly scary,
0:22:22 > 0:22:25- but at the time...- Yeah. - ..I loved this programme.- Yeah.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28It was like watching a real episode of Casualty or something.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- You know what I mean?- Yeah. - Do you remember this?- Yeah, 999.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34I loved it. I watched it religiously.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Your own house should feel the safest place in the world,
0:22:38 > 0:22:39but more accidents...
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- Oh, Buerky. Look at Buerky!- Yeah.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- Yeah, he's changed. - Look at those chinos, mate.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Ooh, and he ain't got any socks on. Very cutting edge.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49That'd have taken ages to iron that crease in them trousers.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51That's not his kitchen, is it?
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Now, if a freshly made cup of tea hits you,
0:22:53 > 0:22:55then the heat burns deeper and deeper.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Didn't think skin reacted in the same way
0:22:57 > 0:22:59as tissue when it got burned.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03LAUGHTER
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Look, you know that kid's in trouble. Look. Straight away.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Oh, no. Don't. Oh, no.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11You know when you watch Casualty and you see the actor in the beginning?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13You're like, "They're going to die in a minute."
0:23:13 > 0:23:15LAUGHTER I hope that baby doesn't.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- Oh, look. Don't do it. - No, he'll be all right. Don't.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20'I turned to get the milk...'
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- JOE GASPS - No!
0:23:22 > 0:23:24HE SCREAMS Is he going to do it?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26HE SCREAMS
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Chucked him in the sink. LAUGHTER
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Um, but, no, I like this programme. This was really, really good.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- And there's all different sorts of 999 emergencies.- Yeah.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37You had, like, a plane crash in one of them,
0:23:37 > 0:23:38then you would have, like, a snow one.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42What we're going to do now is to push your acting skills, Joe.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46- Oh, stop it.- Yeah. I'm going to give you various scenarios,
0:23:46 > 0:23:49and we want to see how well
0:23:49 > 0:23:53and what a great actor you are at those 999 scenarios.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I ain't done acting in ages. HE LAUGHS
0:23:55 > 0:23:57I ain't done it in ages.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00You should just be able to turn it on. It's like a light switch.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03I'm not like you, am I? We're not all born to do it, Bri.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05This is me. You read out Me.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08"Brian making a cuppa, scolded by the kettle."
0:24:08 > 0:24:09OK, I'm making a cuppa.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13- Ooh.- Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing? You've got a kettle here.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15- Oh, yeah. All right. All right. - LAUGHTER
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Just making that...
0:24:16 > 0:24:20HE SCREAMS
0:24:20 > 0:24:22He's burnt himself right in the crotch.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24- APPLAUSE - Thank you.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28- All right, then.- Right. - I'll read out your one.
0:24:28 > 0:24:33"Joe, a boy who got stuck down a well, and he is from Halifax."
0:24:33 > 0:24:35All right. LAUGHTER
0:24:35 > 0:24:39- So, you've got to do the accent. - So, this is the well, right?- OK.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43What's a Halifax accent? LAUGHTER
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- How do they talk in Halifax? - Yorkshire. Yorkshire, Joe.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Yorkshire. Give me... I need a little...
0:24:48 > 0:24:50- YORKSHIRE ACCENT:- 'Ey up, me duck. Help! Help!'
0:24:50 > 0:24:52YORKSHIRE ACCENT: 'Help me! Ey up!
0:24:52 > 0:24:55'Hey up, duck. Help me.' LAUGHTER
0:24:55 > 0:24:58'Give me your hand, love. Give me your hand. I've got you.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00'I've got you. Pull yourself up now.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04- 'Help me!- Come on. Come on. I've got you. I've got you.'
0:25:04 > 0:25:06THEY GROAN
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- APPLAUSE It was all right.- All right.
0:25:11 > 0:25:12I'm knackered, mate.
0:25:12 > 0:25:17Ladies and gentlemen, by applause, um, Joe Swash.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Oh. You're going to struggle there, Bri.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23Me.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25RIPPLE OF APPLAUSE
0:25:25 > 0:25:28LAUGHTER I'd say, Bri, that was a draw.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30All right. Thanks, love. Thanks.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Tell you what, mate, for that,
0:25:32 > 0:25:34- you can have your tenner back. - Nice one.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- LAUGHTER - Yeah.- Sweet.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45- So, Joe, your next choice is Comfort Viewing.- Right.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48And considering people watched this show in bed,
0:25:48 > 0:25:50it couldn't get any comfier.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Oh, Big Breakfast!
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Set in a house in East London
0:25:54 > 0:25:57with the cameras flying all over the place,
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Channel 4's alternative breakfast show
0:25:59 > 0:26:01was truly revolutionary.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06- What a legendary show this was. - Really? Did you ever appear on it?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09No, I didn't really do any TV work at the time,
0:26:09 > 0:26:12but I do remember thinking it's the only programme in the mornings
0:26:12 > 0:26:14that didn't bore the life out of me.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - It's Gordon the Gopher.
0:26:18 > 0:26:23- Gordon the Gopher's in the bathroom. - You wouldn't believe the stories.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Zig and Zag are interviewing Gordon the Gopher.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28This is brilliant. It's what you need in the morning.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- That's a young Chris Evans there. - That is, isn't it?
0:26:31 > 0:26:34He's brilliant as well, isn't he, Chris Evans?
0:26:34 > 0:26:37So, what set this show apart from GMTV?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Well, I mean, you had Paula Yates in the bed with people...
0:26:40 > 0:26:42- That's right, yeah. - ..doing her interviewing.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46- Um, you had Denise van Outen first thing in the morning.- Yeah.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50As a young boy, that was definitely going to get you up in the mornings.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52LAUGHTER
0:26:52 > 0:26:55- You've got Zig and Zag, you know. - Zig and Zag.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59It's almost like it's kids' TV
0:26:59 > 0:27:01that your parents are watching as well.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03So, is it the type of show that would make you want to skip school?
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- You know, would you sort of...? - I couldn't skip school as a kid.- No?
0:27:07 > 0:27:11You couldn't get a day off school out of my mum for love nor money.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- No?- I tried every trick. LAUGHTER
0:27:13 > 0:27:16I've stuck my head on a radiator to try and warm it up.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18LAUGHTER I remember chopping up...
0:27:18 > 0:27:21I chopped up little carrots and made, like, a weird soup,
0:27:21 > 0:27:24put that down the toilet, made out like I'd been sick.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27I did everything. You couldn't get a day off school off my mum
0:27:27 > 0:27:29unless your finger was hanging off. LAUGHTER
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- Honestly. "Have an aspirin, go to school."- Yeah.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35But on the odd occasion that I'd have, like, a sick day
0:27:35 > 0:27:38and you could just lay in bed and you could watch that,
0:27:38 > 0:27:40you know, brilliant morning TV.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Did you think it was very anarchic? You know, really...?
0:27:43 > 0:27:45It was very of its time, and I don't think...
0:27:45 > 0:27:47There's nothing like that at the moment.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49I don't think anything replaced Big Breakfast
0:27:49 > 0:27:53- as that sort of like high...- Energy. - ..energy sort of morning show.- Yeah.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Do you remember, at the end of the series,
0:27:55 > 0:27:56when they stopped the whole thing,
0:27:56 > 0:27:59they did a competition where you could win the house?
0:27:59 > 0:28:01- That's right, yeah. - You could win the house.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03I thought, "What an amazing present."
0:28:03 > 0:28:05- It's house, Joe. - House, sorry.- Not "haarse."
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- LAUGHTER - That sounds disgusting.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10"You could win the haarse."
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- House.- House, yeah. - You could win that lovely home.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16LAUGHTER
0:28:16 > 0:28:18APPLAUSE
0:28:18 > 0:28:20It was good, though, wasn't it? It was a good programme.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22- It was brilliant, yeah. - Good programme.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32- Joe, we're moving on to Comedy Heroes now.- Yeah, lovely.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35Your next choice is... Well, it's a classic, really.
0:28:35 > 0:28:36- It would have been you...- I know.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38..but they told me I couldn't pick you.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42- Oh, well, that's very kind of you. - Yeah.- Two people in our next clip.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45Did you...did you love them?
0:28:45 > 0:28:47- Oh, see these two... - There they are.- Yeah.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49I mean, I love Harry Enfield,
0:28:49 > 0:28:51but I love Kathy Burke more.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55- I am turning the television off. - What? Why?
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Because every night since we've got married,
0:28:57 > 0:28:59all we've done is watch television.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01Yeah. So what?
0:29:01 > 0:29:04So, tonight, for a change, I thought we'd have it off.
0:29:04 > 0:29:07LAUGHTER
0:29:12 > 0:29:16I don't want to have it off with you, Waynetta. You stink.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19- Kathy Burke went to my drama school. - Oh, right.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22She went to Anna Scher. So, she wasn't a comedian.
0:29:22 > 0:29:26She's really an actress that's just so good at what she does,
0:29:26 > 0:29:27she can be funny.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30- Why?!- Cos I thought, for a change,
0:29:30 > 0:29:34- we might have a cond-versation. - A what?
0:29:34 > 0:29:38- A cond-versation. - LAUGHTER
0:29:38 > 0:29:42- All right, then. You start. - Right. Um...
0:29:44 > 0:29:47- Um... - LAUGHTER
0:29:49 > 0:29:52- IN POSH VOICE:- I wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54LAUGHTER
0:29:54 > 0:29:56So do I. Let's turn the telly on and find out.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59- No way! - LAUGHTER
0:29:59 > 0:30:01And, again, this was of its time.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03This was, like, so unique,
0:30:03 > 0:30:06the Harry Enfield show, the sketch show.
0:30:06 > 0:30:07Harry was doing it.
0:30:07 > 0:30:09His characters were all so strong as well.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12- They were all standout characters. - And very real.
0:30:12 > 0:30:13I mean, they were all real people.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16- And you'd always relate to someone, you know.- Yeah.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18- Tim Nice But Dim.- Yeah.- Remember?
0:30:20 > 0:30:23- I do.- Know what I'm saying? HE LAUGHS
0:30:24 > 0:30:27Thought, seeing as it was a school reunion,
0:30:27 > 0:30:29I ought to wear the old school tie.
0:30:29 > 0:30:31Perhaps I should have left it at that.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34LAUGHTER
0:30:34 > 0:30:37Would you like a glass of sherry?
0:30:37 > 0:30:38Oo-er!
0:30:38 > 0:30:41Oh, what the hell. Why not? Cheers.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45LAUGHTER
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Oh, here comes the headmaster.
0:30:47 > 0:30:51- Oh, now I'm going to get busted. - LAUGHTER
0:30:51 > 0:30:53- HE LAUGHS - Thank you.
0:30:53 > 0:30:57We've got a little game for you to see if you can,
0:30:57 > 0:31:01- well, tell us their catchphrases... - OK.- ..from the Harry Enfield show.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04So, these are obviously characters Harry Enfield used to do.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06Name the catchphrase. Here's the first.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08LIVERPOOL ACCENT: 'Calm down. Calm down.'
0:31:08 > 0:31:11- Is that that one? - Absolutely correct. Spot-on.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13- The Scousers.- You're on a roll. Here's the next one.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20- Oh, he's the know-it-all geezer, isn't he?- Yeah.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23- I don't know it. - "Only me."- "Only me!"
0:31:23 > 0:31:25"You don't want to do it like that."
0:31:25 > 0:31:28- That's it.- "You want to do it like that."- Yeah.
0:31:28 > 0:31:31We won't give you that one. I'll have that one.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34- These are the Brummies. - Yeah, I didn't know these ones.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36I don't even remember these two.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38"I am considerably richer than you."
0:31:38 > 0:31:42- No, I don't remember that.- That was a waste of time, then, wasn't it?
0:31:42 > 0:31:44LAUGHTER
0:31:45 > 0:31:48"Oi! Shut it!
0:31:48 > 0:31:49"Got loads of money!"
0:31:49 > 0:31:52No, but if I hear Joe Swash
0:31:52 > 0:31:57- in my bathroom washing himself down, using my soap...- Yeah.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59- ..I would say, "No!"- No!
0:31:59 > 0:32:03"No, Joe Swash, international superstar babe magnet,
0:32:03 > 0:32:07"you are not allowed to wash yourself in my bathroom."
0:32:07 > 0:32:09HE LAUGHS Nice one. Yes!
0:32:09 > 0:32:11- APPLAUSE - Thank you.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13Do you think it's a good idea,
0:32:13 > 0:32:15if kids want to be an actor or an actress,
0:32:15 > 0:32:18to go to a stage school? I mean, I went to stage school.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20Yeah, I never went to a stage school as such.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22I'd go on a Friday and a Saturday.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25- So, I went to normal school. - Right.- I think it...
0:32:25 > 0:32:27With the kids, you have to keep reminding them
0:32:27 > 0:32:30and make sure they know that it's quite a precarious game.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33- Go to school, get your education, use it as, like, a hobby.- Yeah.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36I think kids get so much from it as well.
0:32:36 > 0:32:38You know, just communicational skills,
0:32:38 > 0:32:41talking to adults, confidence.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49- So, Joe, your first day on EastEnders.- Yeah.
0:32:49 > 0:32:53- What was that like?- Yeah, well, I nearly got sacked on my first day.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56- Yeah. I mean, I always wanted to be in EastEnders.- Right.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59I mean, when we were at Anna Scher's, my drama class,
0:32:59 > 0:33:01we'd talk about it cos we knew Natalie Cassidy
0:33:01 > 0:33:03and James Alexandrou that were in it already.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06Everyone wanted to be in films, but I just wanted to be in EastEnders.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08It was, like, my passion, EastEnders,
0:33:08 > 0:33:09so to get it was amazing.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12But then I wanted to share it with my mates cos, like...
0:33:12 > 0:33:14So, I invited my mate along.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16I sneaked him in the studio for my first day.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19And I said to him, "Don't leave the dressing room.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21"Stay in the dressing room." And he didn't.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23He went wandering around, and we were filming,
0:33:23 > 0:33:26and he walked round the back of the camera right through the scene.
0:33:26 > 0:33:30They had to stop. They all went mad. "Who's this geezer?"
0:33:30 > 0:33:33- "It's my mate Nick the Greek." - Nick the Greek!
0:33:33 > 0:33:36Nick the Greek, yeah, we called him. And, yeah, so, I nearly got sacked.
0:33:36 > 0:33:39- They had to escort him out, and I got told off.- Oh, right.
0:33:39 > 0:33:41But I think I set the tone. They knew what they were handling,
0:33:41 > 0:33:43- what they were dealing with. - Yeah.- You know?
0:33:43 > 0:33:46So nothing else would surprise them.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48- You're a great actor. There's no denying it.- Thank you.
0:33:48 > 0:33:52- But did you find it hard to get the accent for EastEnders?- Yeah.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54LAUGHTER Yeah, I did.
0:33:54 > 0:33:57- It was something you had to work on? - I think that was one of
0:33:57 > 0:34:00the good things about EastEnders, and my character Mickey -
0:34:00 > 0:34:02he was just like me, so I wasn't even acting.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05I was just saying the lines like I'd have said them in real life.
0:34:05 > 0:34:06- You know what I mean?- Yeah.
0:34:06 > 0:34:08- So, it was a pleasure to play him.- Yeah.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11- You played him for six years. - Played him for six years.
0:34:11 > 0:34:15They brought a family in around him, which had my little sister in it,
0:34:15 > 0:34:17playing my sister.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20And we all still know each other really well from the family.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22But it was just an amazing place to grow up in.
0:34:22 > 0:34:27And I was 21, so, like, before that, I was just a ginger kid.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30And then, I get in EastEnders, I was like...
0:34:30 > 0:34:32I was like a big kid in a sweet shop.
0:34:32 > 0:34:33I could eat everything, like.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36I could get into clubs for nothing. HE LAUGHS
0:34:36 > 0:34:40I went to town for about two years. I got in so much trouble.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43But thank God I grew out of it and I got it out of my system.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46So, here is you, Joe, on EastEnders.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49I ain't seen any of this. I never watch my old stuff back.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51Once I've done it, I've done it.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55- Is Spencer around, please?- Yeah. Why? Who's asking?- Oh, it's Mickey.
0:34:55 > 0:34:56I'm Spencer's mate.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59- 'Look at the shirts as well.- Yeah.'
0:35:00 > 0:35:03- He looks young, doesn't he? Old Richie?- Yeah, bless him.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05Hey! Oh! All right, Spencer. You back there, mate?
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- I wasn't gone. - That's not what Nana just said.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10- Nana's not in.- Come on, mate. We've got work to do.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13We ain't got time to chat all day. Come on, pal.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16- See, I auditioned for his part, for Spencer...- Right.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19..and I got down to the last two to play Shane's brother.
0:35:19 > 0:35:21- Listen, Spence, you still got that cash?- Yeah.
0:35:21 > 0:35:25- It's burning a hole in my pocket. - Why don't we have a little chat?
0:35:26 > 0:35:29- Still got that denim jacket? - Yeah, still got that.
0:35:29 > 0:35:33But it was really weird because when I auditioned for EastEnders,
0:35:33 > 0:35:35you know when you audition for a small part,
0:35:35 > 0:35:37you don't really want to do it
0:35:37 > 0:35:40because there's less chance of you getting a bigger part later on.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43- Mm-hm.- And they kept saying to me, "Do this part."
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Cos I went for the audition for Spencer,
0:35:45 > 0:35:47and Shane wrote a book about his experience,
0:35:47 > 0:35:49and I was in his book cos he said, like,
0:35:49 > 0:35:52"Met this boy called Joe Swash who auditioned for Spencer.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55"He didn't get the part, but we knew he would get a part eventually."
0:35:55 > 0:35:57And I was really reluctant to do it
0:35:57 > 0:35:59because it was only for a couple of episodes.
0:35:59 > 0:36:03So, I was working at the BBC doing fire protection
0:36:03 > 0:36:06- cos I wanted to be a fireman.- Oh. - So, I was doing fire protection.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08So, I was going into a room and making sure,
0:36:08 > 0:36:10if there was a fire in it, it wouldn't spread.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12So, I'd be on EastEnders.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14I'd go in and do maybe two weeks' work on EastEnders,
0:36:14 > 0:36:16and then go back to my normal job.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19So, I was on TV while I was doing my normal job,
0:36:19 > 0:36:22and everyone was like, "Are you not that dude from EastEnders? Mickey?"
0:36:22 > 0:36:25while I was working at the BBC doing a bit of building.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28And that went on for about three or four months to maybe a year
0:36:28 > 0:36:30of going in and out, in and out.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33It took them that long until they offered me my contract.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36What was it like when you got that phone call?
0:36:36 > 0:36:38It was amazing cos it was all I ever wanted,
0:36:38 > 0:36:40was to be in EastEnders.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43And I'd already got a taste of it from being Mickey,
0:36:43 > 0:36:45so when they said they wanted to keep my character,
0:36:45 > 0:36:48it was like winning the lottery. I was so excited.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51Um, it's an amazing place. I've got some great memories.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55- Would you like to go back?- I think, you know, the door's always open.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57People are always asking me.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01So, I think, one day, I would like to go back just because...
0:37:01 > 0:37:03Because when I was on EastEnders, I got ill.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06I got a thing called viral meningoencephalitis,
0:37:06 > 0:37:10so I was off work for about a year, in hospital, then rehab and stuff.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13So, I feel like, where my character was just about to go off
0:37:13 > 0:37:15and do his own little storylines,
0:37:15 > 0:37:17- it sort of got cut short a bit.- Yeah.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19So, I'd like to go back and do it properly one day.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21We'd like to see you back there.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Oh, thanks. But then I like what I'm doing.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25I like doing presenting and I like doing the Jungle
0:37:25 > 0:37:27and TV and doing stuff like that,
0:37:27 > 0:37:29so, you know, it's a balancing thing, isn't it?
0:37:29 > 0:37:32One day. One day. But they might not even want me back.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34- I caused them so much trouble when I was on there.- Why?
0:37:34 > 0:37:37Oh, I was always late, I'd have parties.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39My biggest pulling thing at the weekend...
0:37:39 > 0:37:42If I wanted to pull someone, like, if I had my eye on someone,
0:37:42 > 0:37:44I'd take them to EastEnders on a Sunday
0:37:44 > 0:37:46cos I knew the geezer at the gate.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48So, I'd take them for a walk around the square, yeah?
0:37:48 > 0:37:51I did that for about a year until I got caught.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54Because they had a camera that was doing an internet live feed.
0:37:54 > 0:37:55- Oh, right.- After a while,
0:37:55 > 0:37:58it was just every Sunday going round with different people.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00HE LAUGHS And then there's other times...
0:38:00 > 0:38:02Is that why you're not in a relationship now -
0:38:02 > 0:38:04- because you can't go round EastEnders?- Yeah.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07I mean, I've got nothing to offer them no more.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11With a history spanning over 31 years,
0:38:11 > 0:38:14it's no wonder that some of the EastEnders' extras
0:38:14 > 0:38:18and bit-part actors came from or have gone on to other things.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22First up, it's market regular Winston,
0:38:22 > 0:38:25who not only got his own CD stall on the square,
0:38:25 > 0:38:28but also some of his own storylines,
0:38:28 > 0:38:31like having his head shaved for charity in The Vic.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Oh, look, they've missed a bit.
0:38:34 > 0:38:38Next is a member of a real-life showbiz dynasty.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41It's Martha Ross, mother of Jonathan and Paul Ross,
0:38:41 > 0:38:45and a regular extra on the Square for over 20 years.
0:38:47 > 0:38:51The next extra only racked up one appearance as man on phone
0:38:51 > 0:38:53at the back of The Vic.
0:38:53 > 0:38:54He made a huge impact, though,
0:38:54 > 0:38:58as he is none other than Take That's Robbie Williams.
0:38:59 > 0:39:03Lastly, it's the late, great Big Ron Tarr,
0:39:03 > 0:39:06one of the best-loved background artists in the business,
0:39:06 > 0:39:09appearing on the show right up until his death in 1997,
0:39:09 > 0:39:12when his character was written out of the show
0:39:12 > 0:39:16by having Big Ron win the lottery and move to Spain.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18It was what he would have wanted.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22Touched on the Jungle. What was that like?
0:39:22 > 0:39:24That was good, the Jungle, because I'd just left EastEnders.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26- You became King of the Jungle.- Yeah.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28It was weird because I'd just left EastEnders,
0:39:28 > 0:39:31and it was their decision for me to leave EastEnders,
0:39:31 > 0:39:33so I was slightly heartbroken by it.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35And I knew I was going to be typecast
0:39:35 > 0:39:37and I'd struggle doing other acting work.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40And then the Jungle came in, and I was really nervous.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43You know, I just didn't know what was going to happen.
0:39:43 > 0:39:44But I bit the bullet and did it,
0:39:44 > 0:39:46and it was one of the best things I've done. Really enjoyed it.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50From that, I've been going back for the last eight years, you know.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52So, I've got my money's worth out of it.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Yeah, I've really enjoyed it. It's an amazing place.
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Was it nice to be voted King of the Jungle by the public?
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Yeah. Yeah, I think that was the best thing
0:39:59 > 0:40:05because it's such a...it's such a weird feeling being in there
0:40:05 > 0:40:07because you don't know no-one in there.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10There's no-one in there to say to you, "You're not being yourself.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12"What are you doing? Cheer up."
0:40:12 > 0:40:14So, you're constantly kind of questioning yourself.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17"Am I being myself? Am I being myself?"
0:40:17 > 0:40:19But no, it was just an amazing place.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21And again, like, EastEnders and the Jungle,
0:40:21 > 0:40:25I just have two of the most amazing, incredible memories of them.
0:40:25 > 0:40:29So, yeah, I'd say them two hold big places in my heart.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38- Joe, I want to talk about the TV you love watching now.- Yeah.
0:40:38 > 0:40:41Bring it full circle. What do you enjoy watching?
0:40:41 > 0:40:44- I love documentaries.- Yeah? - I'm really into documentaries.
0:40:44 > 0:40:47I love Louis Theroux and stuff like that.
0:40:47 > 0:40:52I like stuff like Big Brother, I'm A Celebrity, Strictly.
0:40:52 > 0:40:53I like my reality stuff.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56Cos I grew up in a house full of women for most of it,
0:40:56 > 0:40:57cos my dad died I was 12,
0:40:57 > 0:41:00so that's got a big effect on my taste in TV.
0:41:00 > 0:41:05So, I like my soaps, you know, I like my antiques shows,
0:41:05 > 0:41:08like Antiques Roadshow and all of that.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11Yeah, so, I think my taste in TV probably reflects
0:41:11 > 0:41:13my mum and my sisters' taste.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15I had no control over the telly dial.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18That was up to them. I just had to watch what they watched.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21- Match Of The Day, I like. Sport. - Yeah.- As I'm getting older...
0:41:21 > 0:41:23My dad used to do it. As I'm getting older,
0:41:23 > 0:41:26I'm watching the most obscure sports.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28Like, I'm watching a bit of racing.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31I was watching a bit of the dogs the other day. I don't even bet.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33- I was just watching dogs running round.- Yeah.- A bit of golf.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35What a boring sport that is to watch.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38- LAUGHTER - You're not into bowls, are you?
0:41:38 > 0:41:40- I'm watching indoor bowls at the moment.- Really?
0:41:40 > 0:41:42- The World Championships, yeah. - Really?
0:41:42 > 0:41:43And that is my age.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46Like, when I was younger, I wouldn't have given that two minutes.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49Now I can watch bowls for a good hour and get into it.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52- LAUGHTER - That's brilliant.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54They do it at a place called Potters. I was going to go.
0:41:54 > 0:41:56Bit of darts. I love darts.
0:41:56 > 0:41:58- Lakeside.- Yeah, bit of Lakeside. I went to that once.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02Yeah, so, as I'm getting older, I'm liking my sports.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05Well, I want to thank you for brightening up my sofa today.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07- Thank you, mate.- It's been an absolute joy.- Is that it?
0:42:07 > 0:42:10- Yeah.- Aw!- Aw! Well, I've enjoyed it.
0:42:10 > 0:42:12It really has. The time's gone so quickly.
0:42:12 > 0:42:14But we give our guests the opportunity
0:42:14 > 0:42:16to pick a theme tune for us to play out on.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18- So, what's it going to be, Joe? - All right.
0:42:18 > 0:42:22- Do you want me to sing it?- No. - LAUGHTER
0:42:22 > 0:42:24No, we play it.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26- It's the actual theme tune. - Yeah, so...
0:42:26 > 0:42:28But you can sing it as well. You can sing along to it.
0:42:28 > 0:42:31- Shall we see if they get it, yeah? - Well, all right. Go on, then.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34# Dah-dah-dah! #
0:42:34 > 0:42:36No? LAUGHTER
0:42:36 > 0:42:38# Dah-dah-dah! #
0:42:38 > 0:42:40- We Will Rock You?- No! LAUGHTER
0:42:40 > 0:42:43- We watched it. It was on there. AUDIENCE MEMBER:- 999.
0:42:43 > 0:42:44- 999.- 999.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46# Dah-dah-dah! #
0:42:46 > 0:42:48That's my theme song. HE HUMS 999 THEME SONG
0:42:48 > 0:42:51- It's either the news or 999 coming up, yeah.- All right, then.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53So, we play out with 999. Have you enjoyed it?
0:42:53 > 0:42:55- I've loved it, yeah. - And we've loved you.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58Let me come back because I've got all these other programmes.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01All right, I know you're struggling. You're out of work at the moment.
0:43:01 > 0:43:02- We'll let you back.- Get me back.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05- We'll let him back, won't we? - AUDIENCE:- Yeah!- Yeah?
0:43:05 > 0:43:09- My thanks to Joe.- Aw. Cheers, mate. - Mate, thank you.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12And my thanks to you for watching The TV That Made Me.
0:43:12 > 0:43:14We'll see you next time. Bye-bye!
0:43:14 > 0:43:17MUSIC: 999 Theme Tune