14/03/2016

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:00:00. > :00:09.The Top Gear Boys have been breaking the rules again,

:00:10. > :00:13.Tom Hiddlestone's Night Manager bottom broke the internet,

:00:14. > :00:16.And Eric the dog broke all our hearts on Crufts

:00:17. > :00:21.There's been a lot going on in the world of TV.

:00:22. > :00:29.Here are just a few of the weekend's highlights.

:00:30. > :00:37.It has been the best thing that ever happened to me. We've had an

:00:38. > :00:41.incident. Worst nightmare. Claimable.

:00:42. > :00:54.I look forward to working with you and smashing every door down. This

:00:55. > :01:02.is the champion. It really is that simple. This is a very hard hill to

:01:03. > :01:08.cycle up and I'm using no effort whatsoever.

:01:09. > :01:27.I've lost everything. You still have yourself. And I love you.

:01:28. > :01:32.Coming up, she's put down her petri dish and taken a break from the lab

:01:33. > :01:34.especially to join us, Silent Witness star

:01:35. > :01:42.We celebrate the life and career of one of Britain's best comedians

:01:43. > :01:45.and entertainers, Bob Monkhouse, in this weeks Trailblazers.

:01:46. > :01:49.Plus, she's best known for her part as French waitress Yvette in the hit

:01:50. > :01:53.sitcom 'Allo 'Allo, actress Vicki Michelle joins us to talk

:01:54. > :01:59.about her glittering TV career...ooh, Renee!

:02:00. > :02:05.I hope she brings the picture of the Madonna with her. It takes me back.

:02:06. > :02:08.It was a big week last week, and there's more drama to come

:02:09. > :02:11.In this clip, Vincent, played by Richard Blackwood,

:02:12. > :02:14.is trying to convince foster sister Donna that their mother

:02:15. > :02:32.It is not some kind of murder. You are way off. She admitted it. I

:02:33. > :02:38.won't believe anything you say until she tells me herself. She won't

:02:39. > :02:43.answer. I'm her daughter. She's not going to just walk off and never

:02:44. > :02:50.speak to me again. She just has. Something else is she thinks her mum

:02:51. > :02:54.is dead in the basement but at the end of the basement, she was found

:02:55. > :03:00.at the side of the road and taken to accident and emergency. She is not

:03:01. > :03:05.in the basement. But in Coronation Street, Cal is buried in the

:03:06. > :03:09.basement. It is tonight. I'm glad I've not got a basement.

:03:10. > :03:12.A little later, over on Channel 5, at 9pm it's the final

:03:13. > :03:15.This comeback series, 14 years after the last one,

:03:16. > :03:17.has seen Mulder and Scully encounter more extra-terrestial activity

:03:18. > :03:18.and unearth even more gruesome murders.

:03:19. > :03:23.Tonight, they face a fatal pandemic that's sweeping America.

:03:24. > :03:31.Not one contagion but a variety. If the flu does not kill you then

:03:32. > :03:41.something else will. You are describing it as a fast moving

:03:42. > :03:47.virus. Who will be worst hit? The people we care about. He is the

:03:48. > :03:58.voice of authority? Is this at all plausible? It is already spreading.

:03:59. > :04:04.I love her. Calm down. I have been assessed with her. -- obsessed. She

:04:05. > :04:06.is quite a good actress as well. You saw Gillian Anderson there and,

:04:07. > :04:09.of course, David Duchovny has been in this series as well,

:04:10. > :04:12.but also in that clip were FBI There's a lot of speculation

:04:13. > :04:15.that they could take over The show's creator, Chris Carter,

:04:16. > :04:18.has neither confirmed or denied the rumour, but the truth

:04:19. > :04:20.is out there...somewhere. It's been great having them

:04:21. > :04:23.back on our screens, but it's had mixed

:04:24. > :04:24.reviews hasn't it? Yes, people are still loving Mulder

:04:25. > :04:26.and Scully's chemistry, but some critics have

:04:27. > :04:28.found the new series If you are a fan though,

:04:29. > :04:38.you can catch the final episode of The XFiles on Channel

:04:39. > :04:40.5 at 9pm tonight. And if you want to go

:04:41. > :04:43.right back to the start, there's a channel called Spike that

:04:44. > :04:46.will air every one of the 202 original episodes from the very

:04:47. > :05:07.beginning, starting from 10pm They are 50 minutes long, that will

:05:08. > :05:09.take you 168.3 hours, six days. Go on!

:05:10. > :05:22.Congratulations to Countryfile, the weekend's highest rated show, 6.9

:05:23. > :05:24.million viewers. Luther star, Idris Elba,

:05:25. > :05:27.had cause to celebrate this weekend, after receiving an OBE

:05:28. > :05:38.at Buckingham Palace I don't think you can say that I

:05:39. > :05:45.knock about with the Royals, I've hung with the queen occasionally.

:05:46. > :05:53.I've got an MBE, I don't know why. It is only a matter of time until

:05:54. > :05:55.you are a dame. Can you nominate me? I'm not sure.

:05:56. > :05:57.Fans of BBC Drama, The Night Manager, will be pleased

:05:58. > :06:00.to hear that executive producer Stephen Garrett is plotting to bring

:06:01. > :06:04.He's planning to adapt a novel called the Pigeon Tunnel.

:06:05. > :06:06.Sounds boring, but then so does The Night Manager -

:06:07. > :06:22.And the BBC are going to bring it back for a second series. I don't

:06:23. > :06:24.want to hear anything about last night because I've got to catch up

:06:25. > :06:25.with it. And finally Chancellor,

:06:26. > :06:27.George Osbourne, was having trouble writing this week's Budget,

:06:28. > :06:29.because of Top Gear filming "Trying to write my Budget,

:06:30. > :06:33.despite noisy episode of Top Gear being filmed outside

:06:34. > :06:35.on Horseguards' Parade. If you want to get in touch with us

:06:36. > :06:48.about anything TV related, then get tweeting hashtag toomuchtv

:06:49. > :06:53.or visiting bbc.co.uk/toomuchtv. Now, our first guest is not only

:06:54. > :06:56.a writer and comedian, Best known for her part

:06:57. > :07:02.as sarcastic, but super-efficient forensic examiner

:07:03. > :07:03.in Silent Witness - Here she is starring

:07:04. > :07:17.as Clarissa Mullery.. Can I help you? I hope so, he is not

:07:18. > :07:25.capable of it. I'm trying to find the laboratory. Am I not

:07:26. > :07:31.enunciating? Who are you? Clarissa Mallory. Perhaps it means something

:07:32. > :07:36.to the person in charge. I'm the person in charge. You have an

:07:37. > :07:44.appointment? Could you is scored her from the building? He always talks

:07:45. > :07:58.about you, he is a shocking judge of character. I work with him and I

:07:59. > :08:09.make him look clever. Did I forget to mention Clarissa? Please welcome

:08:10. > :08:17.Liz Carr. Such a huge show. I know. To be a nest -- in it is amazing. I

:08:18. > :08:22.watched it 20 years ago and now I am in it. Did they welcome you when you

:08:23. > :08:28.joined? Of course. I did not know what I was doing. I had never done

:08:29. > :08:34.any TV acting before, I did not know the terms that they used or how to

:08:35. > :08:39.act. I think I've got better. The role that you have started is so

:08:40. > :08:44.small, watched by nobody. It is amazing that it is so successful ten

:08:45. > :08:49.years on. I think it is because we like dark stuff. People stop you in

:08:50. > :08:54.the street who love the series and say it is their guilty secret. It

:08:55. > :09:00.seems all ages. The demographic that tends to stop me is 50, 60,

:09:01. > :09:04.whatever, but I know that it is a show that people tweet about,

:09:05. > :09:13.younger people as well, cross generations. Great character, she

:09:14. > :09:19.does not suffer fools gladly, but there is a warm side to her as well.

:09:20. > :09:25.I love her sarcasm. She does not take any prisoners. That is what I

:09:26. > :09:31.like about her. She is prettily, but we still love her, and I think she's

:09:32. > :09:36.very realistic, do you know what I mean? We know people like her and

:09:37. > :09:42.often people want to know her because she is fun to work with. I

:09:43. > :09:46.was going to ask if you are like the character but you just said that. I

:09:47. > :10:01.don't think it was a great acting stretch! David Caves who plays Jack,

:10:02. > :10:05.are you good pals In Real Life? Yes, but they did not audition us at the

:10:06. > :10:14.same time, it was just manufactured at first, but we have become as

:10:15. > :10:21.close as they are. We have a lot of fun. You know what filming is like.

:10:22. > :10:31.You need to make it fun. Often we want to take it further. There had

:10:32. > :10:36.been a body in the suitcase and there was mulch in it, and Jack gets

:10:37. > :10:44.it out and he wants to throw it on me. I think you would do that in

:10:45. > :10:49.real life. I guess if there is lots of dead bodies. Do they ever get the

:10:50. > :10:54.giggles? They do. I am less around the bodies, I am in the viewing

:10:55. > :11:00.gallery. I could not do that lying and not breathing. I would be

:11:01. > :11:08.panicking. How did you get the job? You sound surprised. I am a little!

:11:09. > :11:15.You did not even turn up for the audition. I live in central London,

:11:16. > :11:23.it can either take five minutes to get somewhere or 90 minutes. I am

:11:24. > :11:32.quite bad with time, I was late, so I'm in the car and Irene them up,

:11:33. > :11:35.you do not turn up late. I did the polite e-mail and said if you don't

:11:36. > :11:38.find who you are looking for please bear me in mind and two weeks later

:11:39. > :11:43.they wrote back and said they would like to audition me. I did not think

:11:44. > :11:58.I would get the job. I really did not. Why did you think that? I was

:11:59. > :12:04.40, I'm not this bright young thing. There are not that many disabled

:12:05. > :12:22.characters on TV that look like me, I'm just not going to get it, I had

:12:23. > :12:33.nothing to lose. None of us knew what to do. Because there are so

:12:34. > :12:39.few, use our lives in EastEnders, she is a great friend, she tells me

:12:40. > :12:45.what to do. Directors did not know whether I should move. My chair

:12:46. > :12:53.clicks, there is a sound. They did not know, if something was on the

:12:54. > :12:57.workbench, they were like, you just stay there and looked down at the

:12:58. > :13:01.microscope. They were worried about movement. Four years later, I've

:13:02. > :13:06.worked with a director who did the first series and he said it is a

:13:07. > :13:14.different game now. I'm better, I've improved, I know how to improve, I

:13:15. > :13:23.know how to ask directors. Argue back for the new series? I hope so!

:13:24. > :13:29.They've not killed me off. This will be the 20th series. I cannot believe

:13:30. > :13:34.it. I want to be part of it, I think the team are great fun and I want to

:13:35. > :13:41.see what they've got lined up. My mum thinks you're the best thing in

:13:42. > :13:48.it. There you go. Thank you very much, lovely to meet you. Time to

:13:49. > :13:51.celebrate the extraordinary career of one of the kings of TV showbiz,

:13:52. > :14:05.Bob Monkhouse. I play quizzes at home, we have

:14:06. > :14:14.quizzes. My wife asks me questions like where the hell were you. .

:14:15. > :14:20.Monkhouse ruled the TV airwaves in a career that spanned six decades. I

:14:21. > :14:26.wake up and go to the bathroom and want to throw up, I say, what is

:14:27. > :14:33.wrong with me, the doctor says, your eyesight is perfect. I know it's

:14:34. > :14:40.strange but I was going to be an athlete as a teenager. Hard to

:14:41. > :14:43.believe. You could see me striding over the sports field with easy

:14:44. > :14:55.grace. I forget why we called her that. Aged 20, he got a contract at

:14:56. > :15:21.the BBC. I am a TV fan and I think it is

:15:22. > :15:26.wonderful. It was his ability to adopt smoothness that made him stand

:15:27. > :15:37.out from the crowd. His quick wit made him a natural.

:15:38. > :15:44.Health and say the nightmare, this programme was broadcast nightly to

:15:45. > :15:54.17 million viewers. And the game show host, Bob's

:15:55. > :16:01.greatest invention was born. Celebrity Squares, the big square

:16:02. > :16:07.himself, Bob Monkhouse. I came into the business in 1845... In order to

:16:08. > :16:10.get laughs. That meant inventing the persona offering something, which is

:16:11. > :16:15.not necessarily me. It's an invention, a construction. Here is

:16:16. > :16:19.your host... Bob's skill as a standup was legendary but his

:16:20. > :16:23.dexterity as a game show host is often down played, as though TV

:16:24. > :16:28.quizzes are a poor relation Give a good reason for men to dig a hole in

:16:29. > :16:37.the road. Name it. Gas men. Looking for the gas main. Grave digger. He's

:16:38. > :16:48.digging a hole in the road... LAUGHTER

:16:49. > :16:57.But as the heap of failed hosts will testify, making a TV game show look

:16:58. > :17:01.easy and fun is a dark art and in this Crucible of potential

:17:02. > :17:10.catastrophe, Bob worked pure alchemy. What was the name of the

:17:11. > :17:14.dog if Peter Pan. Wendy It was Nana. It was bad enough when Captain Hook

:17:15. > :17:19.wiped with the wrong hand. In later years his love of new talent add the

:17:20. > :17:27.quality of his humour cemented his incarnation as the elder statesman

:17:28. > :17:31.of comedy. It was his unbridled love of laster that kept him going to the

:17:32. > :17:35.last I can't stop the cancer, that's incurable. I can control the way I

:17:36. > :17:41.look at the cancer, so here's the joke... I said how long have I got

:17:42. > :17:48.to live. He said ten. What months, weeks? He said nine...

:17:49. > :17:52.LAUGHTER But it was the trail that he blazed through more than 30 TV

:17:53. > :17:57.game shows that moulded the formats and fabric of the shows we watch

:17:58. > :18:01.today. Bye. What a comic God. That made me a bit

:18:02. > :18:04.emotional. Made it look so effortless. My favourite gag,

:18:05. > :18:11.everybody laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian, they're not

:18:12. > :18:19.laughing now. Very good. Time to say bonjour to an actor best known as

:18:20. > :18:29.Yvette in' Allo' Allo Does somebody want me? Yes, I do! My little

:18:30. > :18:37.cabbage. My big sprout! Parsnip. Carrot! Broccoli! Curly kale.

:18:38. > :18:45.Oohhh... When we are too old to make love, we will make wonderful soup.

:18:46. > :18:51.LAUGHTER It's Vicky Michelle! How do you feel when you look at those

:18:52. > :18:56.clips? It was just a fabulous time of my life. The script writing is so

:18:57. > :19:01.good. You laughed outloud. It was fantastic doing such a fabulous

:19:02. > :19:06.series. So iconic as well. Exactly. It's become iconic. It's on all the

:19:07. > :19:11.time still. I was very proud to have been in it. How did you get the job

:19:12. > :19:16.in the first place? Actually, my sifter and I went, my sifter is an

:19:17. > :19:23.-- sister is an actress. We went back for a part in Cock back Mrs

:19:24. > :19:29.Noah. David Croft couldn't make up his mind whether to use me or Ann.

:19:30. > :19:37.Then I played a French maid robot in this series. Then Jeremy Lloyd and

:19:38. > :19:41.David Croft are writing the show and French oh, Vicky, so I went to read

:19:42. > :19:48.from Michelle of the resistance and Yvette. You were perfect. There you

:19:49. > :19:53.are with all the cast. On paper, it was a strange concept, but a huge

:19:54. > :19:57.hit. When did you realise it was taking off. We did the first series,

:19:58. > :20:02.when I read the script I was laughing out loud. I had been for a

:20:03. > :20:06.lot of comedies for the BBC. This one you laughed out loud. Then we

:20:07. > :20:11.did the pilot that was really good. A lot of people watched the first

:20:12. > :20:14.series, watched the pilot, watched the first series, but when they

:20:15. > :20:18.repeated it, because everyone had gone out and said, "Have you seen

:20:19. > :20:22.this show, it's off the wall." That's when it took off. And filmed

:20:23. > :20:30.on location, somewhere glamorous? It was in Norfolk. I wondered if it was

:20:31. > :20:37.in France. No, Norfolk. Everything shuts at 9pm. That was the skierior.

:20:38. > :20:43.Then the intierior were at the BBC centre. Such a great role to play.

:20:44. > :20:46.Did you find as a young actress that you were always offered, because

:20:47. > :20:50.you're still so beautiful, that you were so pretty then, were you always

:20:51. > :20:58.offered the role as the pretty, cute girl in comedy. Yes, always the

:20:59. > :21:02.Dolly birds, then. I did play some really serious roles in different,

:21:03. > :21:07.Softly Softly and those kind of things. I fell into the comedy side.

:21:08. > :21:14.People said I had good timing. That was it. That took off. It was

:21:15. > :21:21.glamorous Dolly birds. Before that, you worked with incredible names.

:21:22. > :21:26.Dick Emry and the Two Ronnies and less. Doesn't get better than that

:21:27. > :21:32.-- Les. No. Amazing. I worked with Dick and I did a few episodes on his

:21:33. > :21:40.series. From that Ken Dodd saw me and I got a series with Ken. We had

:21:41. > :21:45.an amazing love scene on Skegness beach, French love scene. I'll never

:21:46. > :21:50.forget it. That was brilliant. Then Ronnie Barker saw me with Ken and

:21:51. > :21:55.said, oh, I'd like to meet this girl. I worked with them. They threw

:21:56. > :22:08.me in at the deep end. They dressed me up as a Victorian newspaper boy

:22:09. > :22:14.with a moustache and huge cleefage. Cleevage. Les Dawson, I did a series

:22:15. > :22:18.with. He was a lovely man. Was he incredible, popular with his peers

:22:19. > :22:22.as well. Lovely. I was talking about him the other day, you didn't just

:22:23. > :22:27.like Les, you loved him. That was the difference. He was just a really

:22:28. > :22:31.lovely person. It's great when people become greats and they're

:22:32. > :22:38.really nice as well. Do you mind that people always talk about' Allo'

:22:39. > :22:42.Allo, even all these years on. You've been in Emmerdale and you're

:22:43. > :22:46.on stage. Yes, I'm playing Marilyn Monroe, but she's a 76-year-old

:22:47. > :22:50.woman, Marilyn, that's faked her death and she's been living in Essex

:22:51. > :22:55.for half a century. She decides to go back to America to reveal she's

:22:56. > :23:02.still alive. That's not what really happened! It could be true. You're a

:23:03. > :23:06.blonde Marilyn? Grey. We have a younger Marilyn in it. But it's a

:23:07. > :23:11.great show. We're going to make that into a telly series later on in the

:23:12. > :23:16.year. Where is that? Finsbury Park theatre. One more week - but it's

:23:17. > :23:20.brilliant. Go online to get tickets. Brilliant show. It's been really

:23:21. > :23:21.lovely catching up with you. A round of applause for Vicky Michelle.

:23:22. > :23:32.APPLAUSE Here's what you had to say

:23:33. > :23:35.about the return of ITV's Saturday night hypnotism gameshow -

:23:36. > :23:46.You're Back in the Room. Welcome to You're back in the Room.

:23:47. > :23:51.A bonkers game show, unlike anything you have ever seen before. On

:23:52. > :23:54.Saturday, I watched You're Back in the Room. It's the first time I've

:23:55. > :23:59.watched a programme like that. I didn't think it was going to be my

:24:00. > :24:06.kind of thing. The person I'm touching now, you will believe you

:24:07. > :24:09.are a T-Rex. I have to say about halfway through I did comment to

:24:10. > :24:16.myself, oh, my goodness have I really got to watch this for another

:24:17. > :24:23.30 minutes. I reckon Philip is flirting with me. This is one of my

:24:24. > :24:28.favourite programmes. If you could stop flirting with me, that would be

:24:29. > :24:32.handy. It's family entertainment. It's something that the age of six

:24:33. > :24:37.to 60 can look at. You are doing really well. I will watch every

:24:38. > :24:42.week. I've set it on record. If I hit a low point in the week, I put

:24:43. > :24:46.that on. The human brain has a complex system that can be hacked

:24:47. > :24:50.and manipulated. The hypnotist is rather dishy. I wouldn't mind him

:24:51. > :24:54.knocking on my door and trying to hypnotise me. He can do it tomorrow,

:24:55. > :25:02.if you like. Time to reboot some brains. Take off your slippers, I

:25:03. > :25:06.say! Words fail me. If it was the most ludicrous show I've ever seen,

:25:07. > :25:10.absolute nonsense. I've watched a lot of rubbish TV in my life. But

:25:11. > :25:17.then I did find myself laughing in certain places. Personally I don't

:25:18. > :25:24.think the people on the show are hypnotised. I think it's fake. I

:25:25. > :25:29.think they're told to put it on. But I do like Philip, he has the aura

:25:30. > :25:35.about him being a silver haired fox. He engages with people. He's really

:25:36. > :25:40.good. The ladies, I thought they were Game For A Laugh. Are you

:25:41. > :25:47.saying I have a saggy bum? You have, yes. I have never seen anything so

:25:48. > :25:51.fake in all my life. I never knew that Phil had a saggy bottom. I

:25:52. > :25:56.loved your face as you were watching that. What were they rubbing on

:25:57. > :26:00.Linda's face. If you want to tell us what you think of your favourite

:26:01. > :26:04.telly or the stuff you don't like, get in touch.

:26:05. > :26:12.Now, we've got a couple of wildcards that we think you might like.

:26:13. > :26:21.If you can get it, why not try and find

:26:22. > :26:23.the National Geographic Channel, where at 9pm, there's a show called

:26:24. > :26:29.It follows British gem hunter Guy Clutterbuck -

:26:30. > :26:34.great name - and his A-class team of miners, engineers and mechanics,

:26:35. > :26:39.as they journey to find the world's most precious gemstones.

:26:40. > :26:44.This week Clutterbuck's in Colombia on the hunt for a crystal-clear

:26:45. > :26:54.-- That sounds like a medical condition, I've got a touch of the

:26:55. > :27:01.clutterbucks. He's on the hunt for a Chivor emerald. He has to agree a

:27:02. > :27:05.price with the mine owner. He's been very hospitable. I don't wish to

:27:06. > :27:15.offend. But tell him, we have to be realistic. Guy has been quoted a

:27:16. > :27:25.price for $20,000. He thinks it will make a two carat stone. I say

:27:26. > :27:29.$5,200. Proper poker faces there. This promises to be a good watch.

:27:30. > :27:33.Guy has been in the industry for 30 years. He definitely knows his

:27:34. > :27:36.stuff. Maybe he should change his name, I don't know. The show deals

:27:37. > :27:40.with the ethical side of the mining business. They take you inside the

:27:41. > :27:44.mines and show you the way the precious stones are sourced.

:27:45. > :27:48.That's Mine Kings, National Geographic Channel at 9pm.

:27:49. > :27:55.Over on the W channel, great documentaries on there. That's 9pm

:27:56. > :28:00.tonight. It's called Get me to the Church.

:28:01. > :28:03.Every week a bride or groom-to-be is dropped in the middle of nowhere.

:28:04. > :28:05.With no possessions, no local knowledge and no way

:28:06. > :28:08.of speaking the language, their task is to race home in time

:28:09. > :28:12.And if they get there on time, they win a honeymoon.

:28:13. > :28:14.Tonight groom-to-be Pete and his pals find themselves

:28:15. > :28:25.They're dropped in the middle of nowhere. There's nowhere to go. It's

:28:26. > :28:31.like Middle Earth. They have three days to get back in time to say I

:28:32. > :28:38.do. We may have bitten off more than we can chew. They have to battle the

:28:39. > :28:41.elements. Rely on the locals. And face every obstacle thrown at them.

:28:42. > :28:45.Come on, we have a wedding to get to.

:28:46. > :28:49.Just a few days to make it back to the love of his life in Kent. This

:28:50. > :28:57.is the first series. It's tonight on channel W at 9pm.

:28:58. > :29:01.But before we go, what TV theme tune are we going to play out

:29:02. > :29:10.Join us tomorrow, where we're joined by comedian Brian Conley

:29:11. > :29:13.and Susan Calman meets Richard Osman.

:29:14. > :29:15.Also Alexander Armstrong behind the scenes at Pointless.

:29:16. > :29:18.Plus, we get ready for one of the TV events of the year:

:29:19. > :29:21.Star of the show Robert Emms is here.

:29:22. > :29:24.Enjoy your evening and tell us what you think of all tonight?s

:29:25. > :29:25.telly on bbc.co.uk/toomuchtv or tweet using #TooMuchTV.

:29:26. > :29:34.I'm 52 years old... HE CLEARS THROAT

:29:35. > :29:38...and I want... HE MAKES CLICKING NOISES, GRUNTS