29/03/2016

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:00:00. > :00:09.If you're in a slump after the Easter weekend,

:00:10. > :00:10.then stick with us, because we've got

:00:11. > :00:13.the perfect show to put a smile on your face!

:00:14. > :00:16.Raised By Wolves star - the hilarious Helen Monks

:00:17. > :00:20.the comedy legend that is Dave Spikey!

:00:21. > :00:31.Aled has been practising his special party trick. And you definitely

:00:32. > :00:35.don't want us to bring that out, do you?!

:00:36. > :00:40.Coming up tonight, we talk fat suits and Shakespeare

:00:41. > :00:42.with the star of one of Channel 4's funniest sitcoms

:00:43. > :00:47.The laughs continue when we meet the man responsible

:00:48. > :00:49.for co-creating the award-winning Phoenix Nights -

:00:50. > :00:55.Plus, it's TV cooks battling it out in tonight's best

:00:56. > :00:59.of the best - our very own funnyman Funmbi Omotayo is in the studio

:01:00. > :01:09.It has been annouced that Dermot O'Leary is dusting

:01:10. > :01:12.off his dancing shoes and returning to ITV as the host

:01:13. > :01:20.replacing Olly Murs and Caroline Flack.

:01:21. > :01:27.I am really pleased for Dermot. Also good to know that Simon has forgiven

:01:28. > :01:28.him for saying that Strictly was his favourite programme.

:01:29. > :01:33.Louis Walsh is rumoured to be returning as a judge as well -

:01:34. > :01:50.And how about you?! And also... And moving on! I like the fact they are

:01:51. > :01:54.going back into rooms for the auditions. Me, too.

:01:55. > :01:57.If you love dating shows like Take Me Out

:01:58. > :01:59.but want to see even more, then prepare yourselves

:02:00. > :02:08.for Channel 4's new show - Naked Attraction.

:02:09. > :02:12.Two words which don't go together if you are over 40.

:02:13. > :02:14.Hosted by Anna Richardson, the show will see contestants get

:02:15. > :02:17.Instead of meeting potential partners clothed, contestants

:02:18. > :02:21.will make decisions based on what they look like naked.

:02:22. > :02:31.What an idea! Would you present this? Clothed, I might! Where would

:02:32. > :02:35.they put the microphones?! Shall we move on? We have got a little clip

:02:36. > :02:37.for you... No, not really. Naked Attraction is due

:02:38. > :02:48.to air later this year. Congratulations to motorcyclist Guy

:02:49. > :02:54.Martin, who smashed this record live on Channel 4 last night. The reached

:02:55. > :03:04.speeds of 70.33mph to break the record. And then he topped that by

:03:05. > :03:09.hitting 78.15mph on his second go. He actually wanted to go a third

:03:10. > :03:14.time but they would not let him. I was watching it and of course, on

:03:15. > :03:15.telly it does not look so fast. I was thinking, I could go faster than

:03:16. > :03:18.that! Obviously, I couldn't! There's a lot of hype

:03:19. > :03:23.surrounding this young lady. She's currently starring as Germaine

:03:24. > :03:25.in the brilliant sitcom If you haven't heard

:03:26. > :03:45.of Helen Monks yet, That is not my name, call 999! My

:03:46. > :03:57.name is Germaine! I can do my sexy librarian bit... This just in -

:03:58. > :04:02.Calum is coming over to meet you all. My Magnum man! It is just

:04:03. > :04:03.hilarious! Congratulations on Raised

:04:04. > :04:15.by Wolves, it's hilarious. For anyone who hasn't seen it,

:04:16. > :04:19.can you give us a rundown? Raised by Wolves is

:04:20. > :04:21.a semi-autobiographical series, set on a Wolverhampton

:04:22. > :04:23.council estate. The script was written

:04:24. > :04:25.by Caitlin Moran and her sister It is about Deller and all of her

:04:26. > :04:54.children. And they were quite hands-on with

:04:55. > :04:58.it? Yes, obviously, they wrote it, and Caz was on set every single day.

:04:59. > :05:03.Caitlin is famously the busiest woman in the industry. She was

:05:04. > :05:08.always on the end of Skype. The sexy librarian dance, she actually Skype

:05:09. > :05:13.it in how to do that, which I hate telling people because I want to

:05:14. > :05:17.take credit for it but...! Right down to the finger on the lips, she

:05:18. > :05:24.knew exactly what she wanted. So are you an unofficial member of their

:05:25. > :05:28.family now, then? Highlight to think so. When you are filming it, you are

:05:29. > :05:32.asking a lot of personal questions about their lives and their

:05:33. > :05:39.childhood, which is bizarre. You were a super fan anyway. How did you

:05:40. > :05:42.get the part? By obsessed about Caitlin, to the point where I

:05:43. > :05:47.subconsciously based my entire appearance and world views on her.

:05:48. > :05:53.And then I went to one of her book launches, for her anthology, and I

:05:54. > :05:58.ran up to her to get my book signed. She said, you look a lot like me. I

:05:59. > :06:04.said, well, I should play you. I had heard that she was writing a sitcom.

:06:05. > :06:08.She said, yes, you should! I ended up getting the part! It really did

:06:09. > :06:15.happen. What could have ended in a restraining order... I am really

:06:16. > :06:18.glad YOU said that! Amazing! I also love the story, when you went to the

:06:19. > :06:25.audition, you took a fat suit with you? Yes, my brother... Because it

:06:26. > :06:30.is semiautobiographical, she was 16 stone when she was 16. It was just a

:06:31. > :06:36.week before the audition, I thought, I cannot eat that much cheese. My

:06:37. > :06:45.brother coincidentally had bought a woman's really professional fitted

:06:46. > :06:49.woman's fat suit. Why? For parties! So I took that in a bag and I said,

:06:50. > :06:56.I could put this on if you like. I don't know if that was the clincher.

:06:57. > :07:00.I hope it was my acting - is that the one you used on the series? We

:07:01. > :07:08.used it for the pilot. There I am. It is quite funny, there is a bit of

:07:09. > :07:14.a boob malfunction there. But I always think, one is bigger than the

:07:15. > :07:19.other in real life! What is it like wearing that? It is amazing. It is

:07:20. > :07:23.four stone in real life. At first I thought it would be a problem but it

:07:24. > :07:27.is amazing as it means you properly walk like her. I never feel more

:07:28. > :07:30.attractive than when I am Germaine. I was really worried about doing the

:07:31. > :07:37.second series because of how popular this first had been. At as soon as I

:07:38. > :07:43.had my boobs and my balm on, I was ready to go. Like me, you look a lot

:07:44. > :07:50.younger than you actually are. And I am about to play another series

:07:51. > :07:54.where I am 13. " Stories that this is going to America, is it

:07:55. > :08:00.confirmed? I heard it on Twitter! I think they are in talks at the

:08:01. > :08:07.moment. Will you do it? No, you're kidding! I cannot do an American

:08:08. > :08:13.accent. Oh, no! The only thing, I always end up going very southern.

:08:14. > :08:18.Like, there is an alligator in the house. I really hope there are no

:08:19. > :08:23.casting directors watching this! I could do it if I had a coach! That

:08:24. > :08:34.is what they do, isn't it, in the South?! So who could play her, do

:08:35. > :08:37.you think? I would love it to be Amy Schumer, she is my comedy hero. It

:08:38. > :08:45.will not be her but it would be great. We can have a look... Look at

:08:46. > :08:54.that. As if by magic! I would love her! One day I will merge! So, you

:08:55. > :08:59.have got lots coming up. Just going back to something you were saying,

:09:00. > :09:03.you are playing a 13-year-old. You look young enough but what is that

:09:04. > :09:08.project? It is a new Ben Elton sitcom for BBC Two, with David

:09:09. > :09:15.Mitchell playing the part of William Shakespeare. It is called Upstart

:09:16. > :09:21.Crow. I am playing his daughter, Susanna, who is very grumpy. I told

:09:22. > :09:25.you! You do not look happy! They say this will be the new Blackadder. We

:09:26. > :09:30.have been banned from using that word, but I think it will be, yes,

:09:31. > :09:37.definitely! Sorry! I remember at school we used to watch Blackadder

:09:38. > :09:44.as a treat at the end of term. It is so educational but also so funny. It

:09:45. > :09:47.really demystifies Shakespeare. You are doing so much. And you are

:09:48. > :09:54.studying as well, which is unbelievable. Yes, sort of. Hard

:09:55. > :09:55.time, I am doing a masters degree with the Open University. I keep

:09:56. > :09:57.forgetting I am doing that. Time now to crown the latest winner

:09:58. > :10:06.of Too Much TV's Best So far, Simon Cowell,

:10:07. > :10:10.Ant and Dec and Basil Brush have all been awarded TV's

:10:11. > :10:12.most respected accolade. But who will be joining

:10:13. > :10:15.them this week? Please welcome the man

:10:16. > :10:44.with all the answers, You are a real person! It is nice

:10:45. > :10:49.finally to be here! Does that mean I get a pay rise? No, not at all. Last

:10:50. > :10:50.time I saw you, you were on a horse! So what's the category

:10:51. > :10:59.this week, Funmbi? TV cooks. Some people who did not

:11:00. > :11:10.make the list are still very top chefs. People like list. Delia Smith

:11:11. > :11:15.did not make the list. Jamie Oliver, just the one we went with first.

:11:16. > :11:23.Amazing chef. Sold more than 7.3 million cookery books.

:11:24. > :11:25.James Martin, who recently made a tearful farwell

:11:26. > :11:40.It was a sad moment for all Saturday Kitchen lovers. Next up, Gordon

:11:41. > :11:47.Ramsay. Top chef, six Michelin stars at the moment. He is a top chef so

:11:48. > :11:56.he had to make the list. Next was Nigella Lawson. Why not? She has

:11:57. > :12:04.actually cooked for George W Bush. I wonder what she made! How did you

:12:05. > :12:09.find that out? And last but not least, the lovely Mary Berry. A

:12:10. > :12:15.aching genius. 50 years in the game! Amazing. She was our last choice. It

:12:16. > :12:22.was a very tough competition. Such a tough group. I would hate to pick

:12:23. > :12:26.any of them. They are all brilliant. But let's see what the great British

:12:27. > :12:36.public had to say when you hit the streets of Brixton.

:12:37. > :12:47.Are you ready, Brixton? What do you think makes a good TV chef? A a bit

:12:48. > :12:51.of eye own. Someone with character, someone who cooks something fast. I

:12:52. > :12:57.like Jamie Oliver, I like his honesty. I have got a soft spot for

:12:58. > :13:03.Mary Berry, she makes it easy, she does not go too fast. Jamie likes

:13:04. > :13:07.telling you he can do everything in ten minutes, but most people can't.

:13:08. > :13:12.So many people think you can't do it in 15 minutes, but you really can. I

:13:13. > :13:19.like Jamie Oliver the best. He is a bit of a cheeky chirpy. Happy days.

:13:20. > :13:27.Gordon Ramsey, too angry. He is a bit dramatic. But we love him! A

:13:28. > :13:36.little bit of that! Think about it, yes? I think he is entertaining.

:13:37. > :13:43.People like it, though. That is what makes him him. For me, James Martin.

:13:44. > :13:51.Nigella is good for other reasons! That is a big heap of gorgeousness

:13:52. > :13:56.there. This is what you really want. Four tablespoons of salad cream... I

:13:57. > :14:02.think a lot of people are attracted to her. And her food looks amazing.

:14:03. > :14:08.Do you like her food? I like her food and I love the way she looks.

:14:09. > :14:14.That is it for me. She does it for me as well. You only get to pick

:14:15. > :14:21.one, I'm afraid! Good stuff! A lot of opinions! I like that. Brixton

:14:22. > :14:25.knows its food. Who is your favourite? Jamie Oliver. He teaches

:14:26. > :14:31.people a more realistic way of cooking. Nutritious, delicious

:14:32. > :14:39.meals. Who are you feeling on my list? I am feeling Mary Berry. Why?

:14:40. > :14:45.She is just, you know, I like a grandma that bakes me... I really,

:14:46. > :14:58.really like that. I am going to go for Jamie. -- James. The moment has

:14:59. > :15:02.come for me to hang up my Saturday Kitchen apron strings for the very

:15:03. > :15:10.last time. He is moving on. What is he moving on to?! I tell you what,

:15:11. > :15:15.they took it really seriously. I like that. It is massively tough. I

:15:16. > :15:17.know. I adore Jamie Oliver. I love Gordon Ramsay.

:15:18. > :15:20.The time has finally come for to reveal the Best of the Best

:15:21. > :15:48.Who is the winner, Mary Berry or Jamie?

:15:49. > :15:56.I'm not sure. OK, I will put you out of your misery. Can we get a drum

:15:57. > :15:59.roll, please, guys? And there he is, next to Basil

:16:00. > :16:14.Brush. Before you go, there's one more

:16:15. > :16:28.Best of the Best you need to award - I wanted to say it was a hard

:16:29. > :16:31.decision, but it really wasn't. The winner is,.

:16:32. > :16:35.I'd like to thank my manager, my family and all of my fans.

:16:36. > :17:00.It is just so special to me! You enjoy that. There we go. Big thanks

:17:01. > :17:09.to Funmbi, you always been my least favourite comedian.

:17:10. > :17:15.Time now to meet our next guest, he's one of the funniest men

:17:16. > :17:17.hit comedy Phoenix Nights, playing crooner Jerry St Clair.

:17:18. > :17:23.How could we forget the Black Bin Bag song?

:17:24. > :17:35.#, and get your lack beanbags. Thereon offer until December. #, and

:17:36. > :17:43.get your black bin bags. They are long and black and slender. # Heavy

:17:44. > :17:46.duty black bin bags. # no matter what your gender.

:17:47. > :17:50.Please welcome, Bolton's finest, Dave Spikey!

:17:51. > :17:53.Phoenix Nights was such a popular show, do you have fond memories

:17:54. > :18:04.It was wonderful, 12 or 13 years ago but we got 15,000 people in in a

:18:05. > :18:10.night and when you are making it you don't realise it. It was such good

:18:11. > :18:17.fun. We were all mates. Peter cast a lot of comedians without any

:18:18. > :18:21.accidents -- actors, and the continuity went overboard. You have

:18:22. > :18:25.no idea about holding the things right, and the outtakes are as long

:18:26. > :18:31.as the DVD. How did you get anything done? It is difficult but when you

:18:32. > :18:34.get on the set, as you know, there are the constraints of finance and

:18:35. > :18:41.people getting a bid for long, so you have to get it right, -- a bit

:18:42. > :18:48.full on. It only takes one people to laugh. What I love is that you

:18:49. > :18:56.brought in this book, and it's almost like this is your life, and

:18:57. > :19:00.it had ideas for In the Club. It was formed from the first Peter Kay

:19:01. > :19:04.series which was spoof documentaries, and the first one was

:19:05. > :19:09.about the club. We decided if there was going to be a series, it would

:19:10. > :19:17.be that. Those are my original notes, from 2000. Handwritten staff.

:19:18. > :19:26.Look at that. I was broadly still in the hospital when I was in that. --

:19:27. > :19:33.probably still in the hospital. This should be in a museum. There is one

:19:34. > :19:41.idea we never used and you can always reuse things, but we had an

:19:42. > :19:45.idea for a stripper's night. Those sort of clubs, they have them on

:19:46. > :19:50.Sunday afternoons, of all times, that the fellas on a Sunday

:19:51. > :19:54.afternoon. There were notes from every club we went to, doing the

:19:55. > :19:57.research and great lines. We went for a club and they booked the

:19:58. > :20:03.strippers but they got male strippers, so two blokes turned up,

:20:04. > :20:10.and get this, they were called Vulcan and vertigo. I don't know

:20:11. > :20:19.why. Vertigo? Don't let him get on the table. What about your character

:20:20. > :20:25.Jerry? He is an amalgam of compere or vocalists you have ever seen. You

:20:26. > :20:30.go to club and they have the pictures outside, the compere, and

:20:31. > :20:36.if you are a guitarist vocalists, they have their own terminology. He

:20:37. > :20:39.is an amalgam. Everywhere I go in the country they always say I based

:20:40. > :20:44.on the compere at the British Legion, so it means you got it

:20:45. > :20:48.right. You did not sing this. That was my biggest fear. I had to

:20:49. > :20:54.audition for Jerry because I had never acted properly, and some might

:20:55. > :20:58.say not since. But that was my biggest fear because I've never sung

:20:59. > :21:02.karaoke or anything in public before there was so much to sing, ranging

:21:03. > :21:13.from Chennai at Wayne, singing the most inappropriate things -- Shania

:21:14. > :21:16.Twain. It must have been lovely when you got back together with Peter Kay

:21:17. > :21:23.for comic relief. You raised an amazing amount of money. We just had

:21:24. > :21:27.the best time. I do get goose bumps. Backstage and onstage. Waiting to go

:21:28. > :21:36.back on stage as Jerry, with the white tuxedo, going on and singing

:21:37. > :21:45.Brimful of Asher. 15,000 people doing it and singing the thing about

:21:46. > :21:48.black bin bags and corned beef. Comedy writer, comedian, and you are

:21:49. > :21:52.on tour and you have done so much, but we want to talk about game show

:21:53. > :22:01.hosting. Chain Letters. How did that come about? I did the warm up for

:22:02. > :22:05.one of the series and the producer asked me to audition. They were

:22:06. > :22:10.having an different host every series. I went to the audition and

:22:11. > :22:14.got the gig. I had to take two or three weeks off work and we did five

:22:15. > :22:18.shows a day and it was the days before the autocue and there were

:22:19. > :22:24.five cameras and three contestants with funny stories, I collect ducks,

:22:25. > :22:27.all that sort of thing. You had to remember who went first in which

:22:28. > :22:35.around, and I wasn't ready for it. What makes a good game show host? It

:22:36. > :22:38.is nerve wracking being in the studio, but being a contest you are

:22:39. > :22:44.a fish out of water. The host has to make you feel at home. You have to

:22:45. > :22:46.do your research and look at the stories in the background and bring

:22:47. > :22:53.those into the conversation and get them to relax. We were thinking who

:22:54. > :22:59.were our favourites? First up man, a bit like you, all-rounder, training

:23:00. > :23:01.to be a great game show host. Best remembered for the price is right,

:23:02. > :23:19.Leslie Crowther, come on down! Pauline, brace yourself, because if

:23:20. > :23:23.you win the next game, you will quite definitely be riding around

:23:24. > :23:34.the streets of Southend-on-Sea, Lord help it, combat. ?100 -- on that. A

:23:35. > :23:43.patio set, a vacuum cleaner, and the marauder caravan, it is all yours.

:23:44. > :23:49.Come on down, the price is right. So stylish though, wasn't he? He was

:23:50. > :23:55.the consummate game show host. A very nice man. I did some warm-ups

:23:56. > :24:01.for him. A good guide. Next up, the Queen of mean, and Robinson. She

:24:02. > :24:06.might have only hosted the Queen -- the weakest Link, she had a way of

:24:07. > :24:12.shutting everybody else up. Why were you so bad in that round? Zippy, why

:24:13. > :24:18.is it that you never let George speak? Do you know what I am going

:24:19. > :24:25.to do? George, this is especially for you. Because we all want to hear

:24:26. > :24:31.George and there is nothing that you all day long -- there is nothing but

:24:32. > :24:36.you all day long. She tried to put the Welsh in room 101. We should

:24:37. > :24:47.have the list. Chris Tarrant, an guy. -- an amazing guy. He got too

:24:48. > :24:50.nice in Deal or no Deal. There's only a certain number of prizes, and

:24:51. > :24:55.then you have to steal them of people. You don't necessarily want

:24:56. > :25:00.the prize, you just don't want them. Will you be singing in this? I won't

:25:01. > :25:05.be singing in that. Are you watching any TV at the moment? I just

:25:06. > :25:13.finished the Night Manager, but I also like Doctor Thorn. To have him

:25:14. > :25:21.as the evil character and then be the lovely character on the other.

:25:22. > :25:22.And Happy Valley. Thanks for coming on the show. Give it up for Dave

:25:23. > :25:31.Spikey. Thank you so much. Time now for the biggest

:25:32. > :25:33.decision of the day. We start on a channel called Spike,

:25:34. > :25:45.at 9, for a new series called Wicked This US reality show follows fishing

:25:46. > :25:50.crews in search of the ocean's most Tonight, we see the captains gamble

:25:51. > :25:56.everything for the chance to hook a monster which could sell

:25:57. > :26:16.for an incredible $20,000. Go, go, go. Get him, get him, get

:26:17. > :26:25.him. Basta, bring it around. We are going to lose him. --

:26:26. > :26:37.you didn't see him pop off? Of course I did. That's part of the

:26:38. > :26:41.game. This is a show that reels you win. -- you in.

:26:42. > :26:44.This show isn't going to float everyone's boat but if you like fish

:26:45. > :26:46.and heavy metal, I suggest checking it out.

:26:47. > :26:50.If you don't fancy the fish course, then how about dessert?

:26:51. > :26:53.Head over to BBC 2, at 8, for a brand new series

:26:54. > :26:57.Toby Earle told us about this one last week.

:26:58. > :27:03.There's not a soggy bottom in sight as groups of professional pastry

:27:04. > :27:07.chefs go head to head in this Bake Off spin-off.

:27:08. > :27:13.Tonight the teams take on the first Showpiece dessert.

:27:14. > :27:24.This is the power structure, what the desert will sit on. Nobody touch

:27:25. > :27:28.the table. 16 minutes left. It is a source, bit like a custard. I will

:27:29. > :27:31.add the eggs to the sugar until they are cooked. Then I will add the

:27:32. > :27:37.Calvados. It should be served just warm. Time to start taking the

:27:38. > :27:41.apples out. This is an electric spray gun and we made a mixture of

:27:42. > :27:44.chocolate and cocoa butter and we will spray the apples with green

:27:45. > :27:50.chocolate spray and it will have a velvet look. I am starving now. That

:27:51. > :27:52.is my idea of heaven but they would hate me, because I would go round

:27:53. > :27:54.licking all the bowls. Dame Berry is taking

:27:55. > :27:56.a breather and there's no The show is hosted by Michelin

:27:57. > :28:00.starred chef Tom Kerridge. Apparently he has lost ten stone.

:28:01. > :28:08.Unbelievable. It's not just the hosts that

:28:09. > :28:12.are different, there's no tent. They are not cooking under a tent,

:28:13. > :28:16.it is in a massive mansion. The show features 15 teams of three

:28:17. > :28:20.going up against each other. Brilliant show. Looking forward to

:28:21. > :28:25.it. That's at eight o'clock. That's all we've got

:28:26. > :28:31.time for tonight! But before we go, what theme tune

:28:32. > :28:35.are we playing out with tonight? I'll be back tomorrow with Sara,

:28:36. > :28:50.where we'll be joined by the priceless Eric Knowles

:28:51. > :28:52.from Antiques Roadshow, and Chris Hollins is here to tell us

:28:53. > :28:55.about his new series, Plus Susan Calman raids the archives

:28:56. > :29:00.to show you why you should never