0:00:03 > 0:00:05Now, on Top Gear.
0:00:05 > 0:00:10With gas prices rising we head to Texas, to prove two-door cars can do everything trucks can do.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- Oh, it's terrible.- What could possibly go wrong?
0:00:12 > 0:00:17This was our signal.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35Welcome to Top Gear. Now, we here in America love our trucks, right?
0:00:35 > 0:00:36ALL: Yes.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40- Yeah. I know I do, I'm on my eighth or ninth one.- Eight or nine?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42- Yeah.- Really, That doesn't really surprise me, I guess.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45But the problem is, is that with gas prices the way they are
0:00:45 > 0:00:48and the fact that trucks typically don't give very good gas mileage,
0:00:48 > 0:00:50it sort of takes the fun out of it.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Yeah. So, in an effort to save America a few bucks,
0:00:53 > 0:00:57we took on the challenge of finding the ultimate cheap replacement for the pickup.
0:00:59 > 0:01:0540% of all trucks in this country are sold in the Lone Star state.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08With gas prices rising daily, driving a pickup is getting expensive.
0:01:08 > 0:01:13So, Top Gear decided to find an economical replacement for the truck.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16The catch was we could only spend 2,000.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21We met in Lubbock.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28This is the perfect small car for pickup duty.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31A 1975 Ford Maverick.
0:01:31 > 0:01:37It's rear-wheel drive, simple truck-like rear suspension and was built on the Ford Falcon platform,
0:01:37 > 0:01:40which Ford also used for their Ranchero.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Their version of the Chevy El Camino which was half-truck.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47So, technically, this car is half-truck.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Oh, my God. You're kidding me?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Of course.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Jesus, Adam, how old are you really?
0:01:57 > 0:02:01Is there some sort of geriatrics' craigslist that I don't know about?
0:02:01 > 0:02:04How do you find all these mid-70s piles?
0:02:04 > 0:02:06What do you have a trust fund?
0:02:06 > 0:02:10This is one of the most famous cars in the world, the BMW 3 Series.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13This is the 325e, the E meaning "efficiency".
0:02:13 > 0:02:16- But it's German engineering...- or effeminate.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18No, this is the ultimate driving machine.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22Stop it, every rich girl got this car when their parents got divorced and daddy felt guilty.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Yes, but it also has a lot of sophisticated engineering.
0:02:26 > 0:02:31There's probably more technology in this car than any new pickup truck sold.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Yes, which is more things to go wrong. That is simple, my friend.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36I'm pretty sure you missed the point of what we're trying to do.
0:02:36 > 0:02:41Out of 2,000 you could have bought any car in the world for that money
0:02:41 > 0:02:43and you chose a mid-70s Maverick.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46I can't imagine that you thought this would replace a pickup truck.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- What were you thinking with that? - It's German,
0:02:49 > 0:02:50it's utilitarian.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- Oh, my God.- Oh, my goodness.
0:02:55 > 0:03:01- That is exactly the opposite of what I would've seen Rutledge in.- What's wrong with him?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- Did you not...- Sorry?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Did you not understand what the challenge was?
0:03:05 > 0:03:10This is the ultimate pickup replacement. It's rearwheel drive, just like a truck.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14It's a lot roomier than people would think and it's a convertible.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18It converts into beautiful sports coupe when I put the top down.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Look at this, this is all my truck bed.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23I could stack sheets of plywood on here, do anything I wanted.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28It's just like a truck. But it gets great miles per gallon. I mean, it's peppy...
0:03:28 > 0:03:29It's not the fastest thing ever.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32"Peppy"? I'm amazed you can actually pile in this thing with a roof on.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36If gas is four dollars a gallon this is the best choice you could make.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38I'm just going to go out on a guess here,
0:03:38 > 0:03:42- I'm guessing Old Man River's Maverick is yours?- Correct.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46- Is that your country club special there, the BMW?- Yes, it is.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- Did it come with a white wine spritzer dispenser?- No.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53Like a package of Burrells and James. You used to hang out with those guys, didn't you?
0:03:53 > 0:03:59Moving on. Welcome to Texas, gentlemen, which as you know is the truck capital of America.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03And to find out if your compact cars can stand up against pickup trucks
0:04:03 > 0:04:07you've been entered in one of Texas's favourite truck-based sporting events,
0:04:07 > 0:04:09500 miles from here.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Before you get there you will need to prove your car's worth
0:04:12 > 0:04:15by competing in tasks that are part of daily life here in Texas.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Your first challenge is 250 miles away.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21How many times will you need to stop for gas and that?
0:04:21 > 0:04:22I'll make it, don't you worry.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26Why do they never put a back window, don't they know that that's dangerous
0:04:26 > 0:04:29to not have protection back there?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31OK, let's mount up, guys.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36That's a cow patty. That's how we're going to start this?
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Let's go.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39It is Texas.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Oh, it smells bad too.
0:04:46 > 0:04:51Oh, shit. A screw has fallen out, that can't be good.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55We didn't get far before we were met by the local welcoming committee.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Oh, sh...
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Oh, my gosh, that is a big mean bull.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04The Miata taking on the bulls, unbelievable.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08The car is a little bit snug on me.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11It's a little bit bumpy in here.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Oh, this is fun.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22I'm impressed with my little 3 Series, 2,000.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26It slides around so well.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27I can't see a thing.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31It just balances torque, the engine is almost like a little truck motor.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43This is where lose my windshield.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Oh, there it goes.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52The Maverick looks like it's getting kicked in the balls the whole time.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Luckily for Adam, we finally made it to asphalt.
0:05:56 > 0:06:02Our road trip across Texas would take us 500 miles from Lubbock to Skidmore.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05The first leg would take us 250 miles to Running-R Ranch.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11So, why a 91 Miata.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15I wanted something that was going to get good gas mileage,
0:06:15 > 0:06:18be fun to drive and haul plenty of stuff.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Some people would see that lack of back window as a problem,
0:06:21 > 0:06:27I see it as a loading point, you know, just put stuff right through here.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31It's hard to get that kind of freedom with a back window.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Now, the Miata did catch kind of a bad rap for being a girl's car.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40If there was a girl's car here among us, it'd be Tanner's car.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42I assume she's probably a cheerleader,
0:06:42 > 0:06:46she has a boyfriend who is a star football player.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49She wants to go to school and study abroad but she'll stay in state.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55The 25e is the perfect replacement for a pickup truck
0:06:55 > 0:06:59because it's over-engineered, it's robust, it can handle a beating.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03You can just throw stuff in it and on it and not even worry about it.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06You can easily do most of the things you could do with a pickup truck
0:07:06 > 0:07:10and get 28 miles to the gallon.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13at 70 mph, pretty good.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18This is a 36-year-old car. This is in pretty good shape.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19It's comfortable.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22It's got bucket seats, a rear tyre also, a nice option,
0:07:22 > 0:07:24it's in the back seat.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26This car is going to make the best pickup truck.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30Rear-wheel drive, it's got a V8 in it, pretty good ground clearance.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32I'm going to kill these idiots.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42I think I'm going to take a guess at your problem.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Yeah, it's...
0:07:44 > 0:07:46You need a belt to run your water pump.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- We can tie shoelaces together. - Yeah. You know that trick?
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- No, I do not. - It's kind of fun.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53So tie them together and it's long enough?
0:07:53 > 0:07:57No, you're going to have to tie one that goes off the crank that runs the alternator
0:07:57 > 0:08:01and then one that goes off the crank that runs the water pump and we should be good.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04They're so happy, listen to them.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06My God, look how old this is.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09The thing I like about the car, it's fun to drive.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Fun to drive is what I like.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13I look good in it, not now but I will.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Just keep working.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16You're doing excellent.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- You look good in it? That's why you like this car?- Yes, I do.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20It fits your age demographic.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23OK. Keep working, if you're good, we'll get ice cream.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Actually when you think about it these cars are perfect to label the three of us.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47The Maverick is old and out of style, much like Adam.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51The BMW is pretentious but not that fast, like Tanner,
0:08:51 > 0:08:56and the Miata is sporty and affordable, like me.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Welcome to Bandera, fellas.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09250 miles later we pull into the Running-R Ranch.
0:09:11 > 0:09:16I wasn't sure but it looked like our cars would be doing something rural.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Here I have the challenge.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Cattle drives have been a Texas tradition since the 18th century.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Though some still use horses most cowboys now use pickup trucks
0:09:38 > 0:09:41to drive over 13 million cattle around the Lone Star State.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- We've got to put cows in these cars and drive 'em 20 miles?- Yeah.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48That's what we're going to do.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53To see if your cars are capable replacements for the truck
0:09:53 > 0:09:57you will now herd 100 cattle 20 miles across the hill country.
0:09:57 > 0:10:02- In these cars, there's no way. - I can do it in the Maverick.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Unbranded steer, maverick. How many cattle do you think are named Miata?
0:10:10 > 0:10:11It was time to mount up.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15Herding cattle over some of the toughest terrain in Texas
0:10:15 > 0:10:18would test the durability and ruggedness of our cars,
0:10:18 > 0:10:21but before we could get started we were wrangled by some cowhands
0:10:21 > 0:10:23for some final instructions.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Howdy.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38You guys are the real deal here.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Tips, how are we going to... I mean, the cows are everywhere.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- Got to move them like we do. - How do you move 'em?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46What we do is we use a V.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48People on the sides and then a car on the back
0:10:48 > 0:10:51and that V is what drives them all over the property.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55- If we lose one or two, it's OK? - No, sir, these are expensive cows.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57You're looking at 500, 600 apiece.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59You don't run these cows, they'll lose weight.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02They're not going to weigh as much as they should.
0:11:02 > 0:11:08- Run them, you mean physically? - You want these cows to walk.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11- Rolling, fat cows. - Yes, the fatter the better.
0:11:11 > 0:11:17- Is there anything that you can think of that cows just hate?- Cars.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- That's nuts.- Fair enough. OK.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23These cows weigh an average of 1,600 pounds.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25And the bulls?
0:11:25 > 0:11:29They can reach up to 2,800, that's 700 pounds more than my Miata.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34The last thing I wanted was to get them angry and start a stampede
0:11:34 > 0:11:36so we tried to reason with them.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Hey, you guys, let's go the other way.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Hey, we're going to try to go the other way, OK?
0:11:41 > 0:11:42BLEEP
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Let's go, you, with the horns. Let's... No!
0:11:46 > 0:11:48HE CLAPS AND WHISTLES
0:11:48 > 0:11:52That may not be working very well.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Hey! Ho! Hey, hup, here!
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Here. Yip, hoo, hoo! Here!
0:11:59 > 0:12:03What, I'm just making up noises for now. Why am I just screaming things?
0:12:03 > 0:12:08Dare I say I think they're following the Maverick because they saw the horns.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- Yes, they are.- They're just mesmerised by your car, Adam.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Freaking me out a little bit.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17That's it, they're following me. It's working! This is working!
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Apparently they just like the Maverick.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Just keep on leading them out there, Adam.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24You're following the Maverick because you're cows.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26If you followed a BMW, you'd be wasps.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- Will someone up and take the right flank?- Yeah, I'll come up there.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I got the right flank here.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Remember, don't spook 'em, just get around them.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38You guys heard the cowboys tell us a V, right, Tanner?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Are you spelling a Q right now? What are you doing?
0:12:41 > 0:12:46- Just kind of gently turn them. - Yes, Papa Bear.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50The high plains drifter got bored and wanted things to move faster
0:12:50 > 0:12:51so he turned herding into a race.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Don't make 'em run, don't make 'em run.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Yeah!
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Are you kidding?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Tanner! Woo!
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Oh, geez, oh, geez.
0:13:25 > 0:13:30That's it, Tanner, I'm coming after you to you make you slow down.
0:13:35 > 0:13:40Well, I'm stuck. Tanner, where are you?
0:13:40 > 0:13:47CAR REVS
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Oh, gosh! - Can you guys give me a little push?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55All right, here, I'll give you a push. Ready?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- One, two, three, push.- Go.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00- Oh!- What the hell, man? You just ripped my top!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02You'll be fine.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05You know, you should just get rid of the rest of this.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Wait, I asked you to push.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Tanner wanted to prove that his Beemer was as capable as a truck
0:14:10 > 0:14:11and tried to tow me out.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Perhaps I should have chosen something
0:14:13 > 0:14:15with just a hair more ground clearance.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18- I'm going to start off with some just gentle tugs.- OK.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21You've said that before, haven't you?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25You guys let me know when you're done.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Why don't you go and find the cows?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Why don't you go and yank your friend?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35There you go.
0:14:35 > 0:14:40All right, how about you just back up and we'll try one more time?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43OK.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Hey, very impressive.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Keep going, so close.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Yow, oh! That was almost it! Go, go.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Yes!
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Somehow, Tanner's girl car was able to pull
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Rutlege's girl car out of the mud.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Yes!
0:15:01 > 0:15:05But now we had a bigger issue, it was getting late
0:15:05 > 0:15:07and our cattle had escaped into the trees.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15OK, I got 'em cornered here. I'm going to need some help, OK?
0:15:15 > 0:15:18I'm on my way. Tanner, push 'em right.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23Go, cut, cut! Come on, cows, let's go! Come on.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Hup, hup, hup!
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Come on, come on, come on.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Come on, boys, here!
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Moo.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37We managed to wrangle them back into the open
0:15:37 > 0:15:39and our cars were proving to be as tough as trucks
0:15:39 > 0:15:43until someone got what they deserved.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47Holy crap. OK, I cut a gas line. I'm shutting my car off.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I mean, I think this thing is under pressure,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57so I'm not sure how well tape is going to work.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00We'll suss how well it will stick to it.
0:16:00 > 0:16:05It's really a joke to even try to put tape on a fuel line. Come on.
0:16:05 > 0:16:06You've got to be kidding.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09'I was able to bandage up my beamer, but it was getting dark
0:16:09 > 0:16:14'and we were only halfway into our 20-mile herding challenge'.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17'Luckily, the real cowboys had a plan.'
0:16:17 > 0:16:19What's this?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- COWBOY:- This is home for the night.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25- This is home?- This is it. OK. I love what you've done with the place.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28You guys got tents and stuff?
0:16:28 > 0:16:29There's your tent.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- WOMAN:- Here's your flashlight and dinner.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Really? I'm going to use this to find my way to the hotel.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37- COWBOY:- We're going to have cattle out here all night.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40You guys got to keep one ear on these cattle.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44How are we going to watch the cattle while we're sleeping and looking for scorpions?
0:16:44 > 0:16:48This has all been fun, I've really had a good time,
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- but if you could just point me... - You're not going anywhere.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53If we got to sleep here, you've do too, dude.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56- WOMAN:- Know what it's called? It's called "cowboy up".
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Cowboy up, damn it.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00A little something for working so hard today.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Now we're talking.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- Ah!- I think you sold me. - Little whisky.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07We're going to need all this to sleep out here.
0:17:07 > 0:17:12'Apparently we needed to stay with the cattle all night to make sure that they were safe'.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Is it true that dogs and bees smell fear?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Every animal smells fear. - Are there monkeys here?
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- WOMAN:- No.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23'Another staple of the range diet was chewing tobacco,
0:17:23 > 0:17:27'and weak stomach or not, I was determined to cowboy up'.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31- Can I try some of that? - Oh, you're going to love it. It's wintergreen. It's very minty.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Put a plug in there. Everybody's doing it.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37- How much do you put in?- That's good. - A little more than that. Don't be a wuss.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Aw! That's where you're sleeping!
0:17:43 > 0:17:46- It's like coffee grounds! - You'll be fine. Put it in.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48That's terrible.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50- Ugh!- Watch my foot.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- COWBOY:- A little better understanding for the old cowboys
0:17:53 > 0:17:56that push cattle from Texas to Dodge City.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- I'm going to push these cows from Texas to Dodge City? - In the cattle-driving days...
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- That's why cattle-driving was invented.- My gosh. Really?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Kansas to Texas?- About 2,000 miles from Texas to Kansas.
0:18:06 > 0:18:11- Why do people do this?- Cos it was right after the Civil War...
0:18:11 > 0:18:13- Not the horses, the dip!- Oh.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Ugh, it's so bad.
0:18:16 > 0:18:17HE RETCHES
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Don't throw up on me, please.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21HE RETCHES AND BURPS
0:18:21 > 0:18:25I'm done. I threw most of it up.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Let's hope.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- WOMAN:- We will see you in the morning.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- COWBOY:- Hope to see you in the morning.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33- Thank you.- Good night.- Good night.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42'The next morning we got back to wrangling the cattle.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47'Our cars had barely made the first challenge and there was still more to come.'
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Come on, almost there, cows!
0:19:01 > 0:19:04I am the master of the beasts!
0:19:04 > 0:19:06There you go. Nice and easy, big fellas.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Everybody in! Everybody in!
0:19:12 > 0:19:13Here we go.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16I'm happy. Hello, friend.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18SMOOCH
0:19:18 > 0:19:19LAUGHS DEVILISHLY
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I will take a tall, black coffee, please.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Yes, sir. Eggs and bacon.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29- How do you boys think you did? - Excellent. I think we got them all for you, sir.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31- Job well done, there, yeah?- Mm-hm.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34We'll get a count and I'll tell you how you did.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36- OK.- Fair enough.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40Don't look like 100 head to me standing over there but we'll see.
0:19:42 > 0:19:48'We got out of there as fast as we could before the cowboys had a chance to recount the cattle.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52'Our next challenge was 50 miles east, near San Antonio.'
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- Every time we stop somewhere! - Sorry! My bad.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- What're we doing here?- Let's see.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19"Hauling is big business in Texas.
0:20:19 > 0:20:25"The Lone Star State produces more than 7 billion pounds of beef and cattle products every year,
0:20:25 > 0:20:29"which is all hauled to the customer using trucks.
0:20:29 > 0:20:34"To find out if your cars are up to the challenge, you'll each haul as much crop food as you can carry.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36"Most product moved wins."
0:20:36 > 0:20:40- Crop food?- Crop food, like fertiliser?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Oh, my gosh.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47That smells a little bit like...
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- That is...- That is crap.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53That is a huge, steaming pile of crap.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I'm going to throw up.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- It IS hot. It's still warm.- It's hot?
0:20:59 > 0:21:02It's warm just from coming right out of the animal.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04- This came out of one animal? - Oh, God!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- Smell my finger.- No.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09HE RETCHES
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Why would you do that?!
0:21:11 > 0:21:12HE COUGHS
0:21:12 > 0:21:17- Oh, God, this is going to be awful. - You poor dry-heaving fool.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21- We've got to put this in our cars without bags?- I know one thing. You're screwed.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25'We had to haul as much hot, steaming manure as we could
0:21:25 > 0:21:29'to a depot ten miles away on the other side of San Antonio'.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34'Clearly we needed to modify our cars to optimise our cow dung capacity'.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36All right, all this has got to go out.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41Here we go.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42That's it.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47SAW BUZZES
0:21:47 > 0:21:51Come on, Miata. We can beat these guys together.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52SAW BUZZES
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- Wha...what?- Huh?!
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- Perfect!- That's your modification?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- What did you do?- Oh, my gosh! - I brought out my inner truck.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09This is the inner Ranchero that lives within the beast.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13This is your idea of efficiency? It's buckets!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16There is absolutely no need to put poop in with me.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20- Did you put the kidneys on the front?- Well, it's an identifier...
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- Yeah, cos you have to show everyone you're pretentious.- Still snooty.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26There's no way these things will hold on there.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28You look like a donkey going up a mountain.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32Oh, my God, is that carbon fibre?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- That is some cardboard I found on the ground.- Cardboard fibre?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Yes, and this used to be some carpet here.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41Wait a minute, wait, wait, are you planning on putting stuff here?
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Yes, kind of like an L here, so I'll pile it up all the way there.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48- This will be...- That kind of L? Is this your design?- This will...
0:22:48 > 0:22:51What keeps the manure from going like in here, this way?
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Well, I'll be going fast enough, the wind will keep it pinned down.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59- Are we ready?- Yeah. And I have some machinery over there coming this way.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06'To see if our cars had the same payload capacity as a truck,
0:23:06 > 0:23:08'each would be filled up with 2,000 pounds of crap.'
0:23:11 > 0:23:13- 'Adam was up first.' - This is going to be good.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16'The Maverick had already broken down once, so it was
0:23:16 > 0:23:19'going to struggle with a tonne of number two weighing it down.'
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Go time. Oh, my God!
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Just right on in there would be great.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Oh... OH! Oh, it's HOT!
0:23:31 > 0:23:32LAUGHTER
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Oh, my God!
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Oh, it smells so bad!
0:23:36 > 0:23:40He's got no accuracy with that thing. You see, it just falls everywhere.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44I think that's enough. I think that's enough, my friend. Thank you.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48- One more. Maybe?- Don't listen to him! - Probably fit another one in there.
0:23:49 > 0:23:54- It's holding it. Look at the back, it's completely flat.- Ha-ha!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Oh, my God!
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Oh, it's in my eyes!
0:23:58 > 0:24:01- There's no way that car can take that.- Oh, yeah?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03It smells, keep going.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Oh, that's so bad!
0:24:05 > 0:24:07LAUGHTER AND COUGHING
0:24:10 > 0:24:15He's going to have to get a lot in there to beat what your car did.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- How could such a smart guy have such a dumb idea?- I don't know.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- This is the best part. Watch this. - Oh, yes!- There you go.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Brush the roof.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26LAUGHTER
0:24:29 > 0:24:31He's putting on ChapStick.
0:24:31 > 0:24:36Here we go. Oh... Oh, my God!
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Perfect!
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Look at that, he's never going to get out of there!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45That's it, keep coming.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48You got it. There you go, rock it.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Your kidney's dragging just a little bit.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53There you go, that's it!
0:24:53 > 0:24:56'Tanner's barrel concept may have kept him comfortable,
0:24:56 > 0:24:59'but his BMW looked like a weird albino pack mule.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01'I was up next.'
0:25:03 > 0:25:06We'll use this is good, this is bad.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08- OK?- OK, all right. Good. Bad.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Let's do it, Mike.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14- Oh, my gosh, he's getting a full scoop!- There you go.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17My glasses are fogging up a little from the goggles.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Right...
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Oh, sweet Jesus. Oh...
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Oh... Oh, God! Oh! Oh!
0:25:26 > 0:25:29LAUGHTER
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- Oh, this is awful! - No, you're doing great!
0:25:31 > 0:25:35Oh, this is a bad idea, this is such a bad idea!
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- That bucket holds so much! - It's over his head!
0:25:37 > 0:25:41- Look at that, it's still coming. - It's raining!
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Whoa, the cardboard's moving.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46You're golden from here on in.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Oh... Oh, the truck. The truck is in the back.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52- The worst part's the whining. - He's just kidding.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54LAUGHTER
0:25:54 > 0:25:58- This is our signal.- Are we good?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01That's good there. I'll just...
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- It's in my shoes!- That counts.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- It's everywhere, it's inside me. - That's all right.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10That could be your reserve that makes you win.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12How versatile is this thing?
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- Look at all the room you've got. - Yeah.- If you could let him put
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- just a little bit more. - You can fit it all up in there!
0:26:18 > 0:26:20You know what?! Load it up again, Mike!
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- There you go. - Load it up again.- Attaboy!
0:26:23 > 0:26:27But hey, why don't you try to not, um, not cover me
0:26:27 > 0:26:30as much as the open parts of the car?
0:26:30 > 0:26:33- Try that this time. - Mike, you're doing awesome!
0:26:33 > 0:26:37- There he goes. That's going to be good.- Oh... Oh, jeez!
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Oh, that's scary. OK, OK, yeah!
0:26:40 > 0:26:43- That's good.- Good?
0:26:43 > 0:26:47- Let's get on the road.- Good luck! Hold your breath if it gets bad.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50That went pretty well.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Now I was prepared for what was going to happen,
0:26:53 > 0:26:59so no I just have to figure out how to hang these appropriately.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Oh, that is delicious!
0:27:01 > 0:27:04'But there was a design flaw I didn't plan.'
0:27:04 > 0:27:11..and I can't see anything beyond just immediately in front of me.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17< THUD!
0:27:17 > 0:27:19What are you doing?!
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- I said... I can't see anything! - Come on! That's...
0:27:22 > 0:27:26- You know what, now you lose this. - I...- We knock all that stuff off
0:27:26 > 0:27:28and that's just about as much as you knocked off mine.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32Well, can you do the rest of the windshield, cos I can't see a thing?
0:27:42 > 0:27:46'With 10 miles of open road and a truckload of cargo,
0:27:46 > 0:27:50'what could possibly go wrong?'
0:27:50 > 0:27:53This is such a bad idea.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56It is a really, really nice day out.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00We couldn't have asked for better weather.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03It's like a tornado of crap in here.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06'Over in the Maverick, Adam was starting
0:28:06 > 0:28:09- 'to second-guess his design.'- Oh!
0:28:09 > 0:28:11Oh! Oh, that's terrible!
0:28:11 > 0:28:14- I can't see! - HE COUGHS
0:28:18 > 0:28:21That's not better, that's not better!
0:28:26 > 0:28:31Please stop doing that, it feels like you're sandblasting my face.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33HE LAUGHS
0:28:34 > 0:28:37I doubt there are many pick-up trucks that can afford
0:28:37 > 0:28:40the kind of luxury I'm experiencing right now.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45HE COUGHS AND SPITS
0:28:48 > 0:28:51- Oh! Oh,- BLEEP- me!
0:28:59 > 0:29:01You don't have any lotion, do you?
0:29:01 > 0:29:05My left hand, for some reason, is really drying up in this heat.
0:29:05 > 0:29:09- What's the golf report, Buffy(?) - Tanner, do you want to stop
0:29:09 > 0:29:13and get a pedicure before we have to unload this stuff?
0:29:13 > 0:29:19- Adam's car is officially smoking and steaming back there.- No, it's fine!
0:29:19 > 0:29:22Keep going. Oh, it's down my shirt!
0:29:24 > 0:29:27'We decided to take a shortcut through downtown San Antonio.'
0:29:35 > 0:29:37How much further we got?
0:29:41 > 0:29:44Wow, that's the Alamo.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46Holy cow, you're not...
0:29:46 > 0:29:48Sorry.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50Seriously?
0:29:50 > 0:29:54Uh-oh! Oh, shit! Come on, honey, don't do this.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57'The Maverick overheated...again...'
0:29:57 > 0:30:01Come on, not now! '..and it couldn't have happened in a worse place.'
0:30:01 > 0:30:05It's hot. If you'd step out of the air conditioning, I'd appreciate it.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09- It is kind of warm out here. - What's up?
0:30:09 > 0:30:14- It doesn't look too good.- All the manure in your engine?- No, the smoke.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18CAR HORNS BLARE
0:30:18 > 0:30:21- It smells funny in there. - Yes, that's the manure.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24You know what, it's made it this far, I'd just throttle down.
0:30:24 > 0:30:25All right.
0:30:25 > 0:30:29CAR HORNS BLARE
0:30:29 > 0:30:32- Isn't the Alamo nice?- It is nice.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Look, we're blocking traffic, let's go.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38Leave that alone. Get in your car and leave that alone.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41- CAR HORNS BLARE - Oh, really?!
0:30:41 > 0:30:45Wow. It's like I keep thinking, "How could my day get worse?"
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Oh!
0:30:49 > 0:30:52- Really?- Come on!- Sorry!
0:30:52 > 0:30:53Let's go!
0:30:55 > 0:30:57'We left calling cards at the Alamo
0:30:57 > 0:31:00'and got out of the city before we started another battle.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03'Tanner may have been comfortable,
0:31:03 > 0:31:06'but he wasn't making it very pleasant for anyone around him.'
0:31:13 > 0:31:16- That's your bucket. - You've got my bucket.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19It's in the middle of the road.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21Don't let it go.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26- Can you guys get that out?- Yeah.
0:31:26 > 0:31:27HORN BEEPS LOUDLY
0:31:27 > 0:31:30- It's not funny!- That was my leg.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32- Do you want me to help or not?! - That was the manure.
0:31:32 > 0:31:36- I didn't do that, I didn't do that. - Rutledge, drive up on this kerb.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39Get ready to jump onto the wall if he can't stop.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42Come on, come on. Good, good.
0:31:49 > 0:31:53- Good.- Keep going. Keep pushing. - Keep going, did you say?
0:31:53 > 0:31:55All right, we've got it.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58There's still mulch in it, I'm going to take it. I'm taking it.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01No, no, no, I'm taking it, this is valuable...
0:32:01 > 0:32:04Now there's not. Now you can take it.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08HORN BLARES
0:32:12 > 0:32:15'Finally, after a long and stinky drive,
0:32:15 > 0:32:19'we neared the weigh station to see who had hauled the biggest load.'
0:32:20 > 0:32:23BRAKES SCREECH
0:32:27 > 0:32:31Really?! OK, so how is this going to work?
0:32:31 > 0:32:34All right, we take the manufacturer's weight,
0:32:34 > 0:32:37subtract it from the actual weight of what we have here.
0:32:37 > 0:32:41Front axles on, back axles on, add those two together,
0:32:41 > 0:32:44minus the manufacturer's weight, whatever's left is what you got.
0:32:44 > 0:32:47- You look dirty. - Yeah, it's a hard day's work.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50- I'll watch the scale, you pull up first.- You go.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57- Stop.- OK, you've got to get out of there, though.
0:32:59 > 0:33:001,880.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03- OK, move it on forward.- All right.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Jeez... Good, good.
0:33:07 > 0:33:11- All right, he's out.- Weird, it's like the leaf springs might've hit there.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13OK, 1,880 plus?
0:33:13 > 0:33:152,540.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18- What was your wet weight?- 3,000lb.
0:33:18 > 0:33:211,420lb of crap.
0:33:21 > 0:33:25Yes! '1,400lbs was a lot of weight for my Maverick.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28'Mr Country Club's car weighed in next.'
0:33:28 > 0:33:32- 270lbs!- There's no way... LAUGHTER
0:33:32 > 0:33:34That weighs less than him!
0:33:34 > 0:33:37- You don't...- I'm just going to leave that one alone.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39It does, you're big framed.
0:33:39 > 0:33:40I dropped your calculator.
0:33:40 > 0:33:44'If my Miata wasn't carrying more than 1,400lbs of crop food,
0:33:44 > 0:33:47'then I would lose, making Adam the one most full of crap.'
0:33:47 > 0:33:51570lbs. ADAM LAUGHS LOUDLY
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Children, children, will you never learn?
0:33:54 > 0:34:00- My truck, it's the champion.- Despite it's barely running, you're correct.
0:34:00 > 0:34:01What's next?
0:34:01 > 0:34:04I'll tell you what's next... HE SIGHS
0:34:04 > 0:34:06"Your final challenge
0:34:06 > 0:34:09"will be the ultimate test of your vehicle's brawn..."
0:34:09 > 0:34:13Like we haven't done that(!) "You have 12 hours to prepare your vehicles
0:34:13 > 0:34:17"to compete in one of Texas's most cherished motor sports -
0:34:17 > 0:34:19"monster truck racing"?!
0:34:19 > 0:34:24- RUTLEDGE LAUGHS - Monster truck racing?- With that?
0:34:24 > 0:34:27"Last truck standing wins double points."
0:34:27 > 0:34:30- Double points? Let me see that. - That's what it said.- It doesn't.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33- That's what it said.- Let me see.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37'Adam's Maverick may have won the challenge, but it was falling apart
0:34:37 > 0:34:40'and, with one challenge left, I knew my monster truck Miata
0:34:40 > 0:34:43'would beat them both, but first we had to unload our precious cargo.'
0:34:43 > 0:34:45What's he doing? Hey, hey...
0:34:46 > 0:34:48Real mature.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Oh...
0:34:57 > 0:35:02Oh, you want to ride with me? Here, let me just dig out your seat.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06This is ridiculous!
0:35:13 > 0:35:16So we modified our cars overnight.
0:35:18 > 0:35:21It's standard for somebody to put bigger tyres
0:35:21 > 0:35:24and add on aftermarket parts to a truck.
0:35:24 > 0:35:28But the modifications we made would test the integrity of our cars
0:35:28 > 0:35:31and squeeze out whatever power the engines still had left.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35I don't know how you made that thing look so menacing,
0:35:35 > 0:35:38- that brush guard is awesome! - Did you see the wings?
0:35:38 > 0:35:41- See this side of the door? - Yes, I saw your Maverick doors!
0:35:41 > 0:35:46'I decide to go for a mean, "Stay out of my way, I'm a Miata" look.
0:35:46 > 0:35:50'Something menacing.' Have you ever seen a bigger Miata?
0:35:50 > 0:35:53That is the biggest Miata I have ever seen.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56- That exhaust pipe is compensating for something, I think.- What?!
0:35:56 > 0:35:59'My design was classic and practical.
0:35:59 > 0:36:03'This was a race, not a beauty pageant.'
0:36:03 > 0:36:08You guys decorated your stuff up. The Beamer was perfect the way she was, right?!
0:36:08 > 0:36:11You could go over every speed bump at the Beverly Centre in it.
0:36:11 > 0:36:15A design specification. We should have done this days ago, obviously,
0:36:15 > 0:36:17but we're out here to race 'em!
0:36:18 > 0:36:23'We would race six times around this obstacle-filled dirt track.
0:36:23 > 0:36:27'The winning car would be crowned the best two-door car truck.
0:36:30 > 0:36:32'The race was on.'
0:36:32 > 0:36:34LAUGHTER
0:36:37 > 0:36:39Why did we not think of this sooner?
0:36:39 > 0:36:43I know, what were we messing around with cow manure for?!
0:36:43 > 0:36:46'I was focused and took an early lead.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50'So, naturally, Tanner began to cheat.'
0:36:52 > 0:36:54'But neither of them could catch me.'
0:36:54 > 0:36:56HE LAUGHS
0:36:56 > 0:36:59'I was in the lead.'
0:36:59 > 0:37:04'Two laps down and my 36-year-old Maverick was bound for victory.'
0:37:09 > 0:37:12Boys, I'm on fire.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15You might want to get away from this, it's burning.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22- What happened? - I think it's on fire, I'm not sure.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24SIRENS BLARE
0:37:26 > 0:37:29Didn't you think when he said, "I'm on fire," he was going fast?
0:37:29 > 0:37:33- Like, "I'm on fire!"- What, what? - "I'm the king of the world!"
0:37:33 > 0:37:36- You meant, "I'm ablaze!" - Yeah, burning.
0:37:36 > 0:37:41- Yeah, embers.- When did you first realise it was on fire?- Flames!
0:37:41 > 0:37:45- The flames were an indication that something might be amiss(!) - You watching this?
0:37:48 > 0:37:49I just want you to know that,
0:37:49 > 0:37:53of all the times Tanner and I wanted your truck to blow up,
0:37:53 > 0:37:56- we're sorry...- This was not one of them.- This was not it.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59Yeah, 12 hours for 12 minutes.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02- Hardly seems fair, doesn't it? - That's racing.
0:38:02 > 0:38:05'The Maverick, well, it was dead.'
0:38:05 > 0:38:10- Straight back.- But we didn't want Adam to feel left out.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13- Why do we have to do this?- You can't just be completely out of the race,
0:38:13 > 0:38:16- cos you got on fire. - It needs to be part of the race.
0:38:16 > 0:38:21- It's the only American car in the line up.- And now it's going to be part of the race.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23- It looks like it's you and me. - All right.- Let's do this.
0:38:23 > 0:38:26- Double on nothing, right? - It never said double or nothing.
0:38:26 > 0:38:31- All right, Rut, let's do this. - Hold on. No fire, I'm good.
0:38:34 > 0:38:39'The best replacement for a truck would come down to the mighty Miata
0:38:39 > 0:38:42- 'or Tanner's yuppie mobile.' - ENGINES REV
0:38:44 > 0:38:47'We lined up for the restart with four laps to go.'
0:39:04 > 0:39:06Oh, oh!
0:39:15 > 0:39:19Whoa! 'Tanner may be a professional racer,
0:39:19 > 0:39:22'but my Miata was lighter and faster than his BMW.'
0:39:25 > 0:39:27LAUGHTER
0:39:27 > 0:39:31Oh, no! Tanner!
0:39:38 > 0:39:39Oh!
0:39:43 > 0:39:46Whoa! Whoa!
0:39:52 > 0:39:55I lost a wheel!
0:39:55 > 0:39:58I lost a wheel! Ha-ha!
0:39:58 > 0:40:02- HE LAUGHS - Oh, no!
0:40:02 > 0:40:05No! Miata!
0:40:05 > 0:40:08No!
0:40:08 > 0:40:12'The only thing standing between me and the victory was one more lap.'
0:40:15 > 0:40:19Second lap in and I wrecked a... Oh, no!
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Oh, my God!
0:40:23 > 0:40:26Come on. Tanner!
0:40:26 > 0:40:31He's out of it! Rutledge is done!
0:40:31 > 0:40:33That is some kind of sportsmanship.
0:40:33 > 0:40:35Oh, my God!
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Go!
0:40:40 > 0:40:42Whoa, baby!
0:40:42 > 0:40:45Almost home, almost home!
0:40:46 > 0:40:48Whoa-hoo-hoo!
0:40:56 > 0:40:58Yeah!
0:41:03 > 0:41:07BMW wins! Woo!
0:41:09 > 0:41:11CHEERING
0:41:11 > 0:41:14Mmm!
0:41:14 > 0:41:18No! You don't win! You don't win! First of all,
0:41:18 > 0:41:21I won the hauling competition and I won the cattle drive.
0:41:21 > 0:41:25- The cattle drive had no winner! - They followed the Maverick.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27LAUGHTER You caught on fire.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29- So what?- You can't win catching on fire.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31No. He broke another car.
0:41:31 > 0:41:35That one's on fire, you bent the Cadillac in half.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38- Because I drove it like a man. - MAN: Yeah!
0:41:38 > 0:41:42A stupid man. You broke every driveshaft in the state on that F250.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45That was gravity, I came down on the rocks.
0:41:45 > 0:41:49- You drove on three wheels.- Yeah, that's pretty awesome, hard to do.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52You were in a monster tricycle!
0:41:52 > 0:41:54LAUGHTER
0:41:54 > 0:41:56I had the only car running at the end, I win!
0:41:56 > 0:41:59- That's all we've got tonight... - You don't win!- You can't!
0:41:59 > 0:42:03- See, they're not even clapping, they know you're full of- BLEEP!
0:42:03 > 0:42:05That's all we've got! Thanks for watching!
0:42:05 > 0:42:07CHEERING
0:42:07 > 0:42:11It's a lot harder to drive with three wheels than with four!
0:42:11 > 0:42:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:42:14 > 0:42:16E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk