0:00:20 > 0:00:21LOUD EXPLOSION
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Hello, I'm John Bishop.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Welcome to Part Two of our Top Gear A-Z.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30- Bigger than I was expecting, constable.- Yes, sir, it was, sir.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31- EXPLOSION - Whoa.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33It was wild...
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Sunlight!
0:00:36 > 0:00:37It's gone again.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40..pushing the limits and taking the corners on two wheels.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42It was romantic.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43It was barmy...
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Argh! It's been sick on me! I'm covered in... Argh!
0:00:45 > 0:00:47..and above all, it was fun.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51HE COUGHS
0:00:51 > 0:00:54So let's get ourselves back in the Top Gear mood.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56I think we need a montage.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00BRAKES SCREECH
0:01:00 > 0:01:02- Attack monkey!- Aah!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05GEARS GRIND
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Ha-ha...
0:01:07 > 0:01:09The three guys presenting are lunatics.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12- Do you want the heater on?- Shut up.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Schoolboys just creating chaos wherever they go.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Just run.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Top Gear is about fun, experimenting, pushing the boundaries
0:01:20 > 0:01:22and showing people things they don't expect.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23- GUNFIRE - Aah! Help me!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25We all like to see those boys get into trouble.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28That's what kept them going for so long.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29Yobbos.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Is this safe? HE SHOUTS
0:01:31 > 0:01:33There is a magic to it. It's kind of indefinable.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36You pair of utter pillocks.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Pretty much sums the show up.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Something disastrous is about to happen.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41THEY LAUGH
0:01:41 > 0:01:44I wonder how much more of this I have to endure before I can admit
0:01:44 > 0:01:47that this is a terrible car and I hate it and I want to go home.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Top Gear has never influenced me in my choice of car once.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Not one iota.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Hm...
0:01:57 > 0:01:58CLUNKING
0:01:58 > 0:02:00BLEEP
0:02:00 > 0:02:03We have made something truly wonderful.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07LOUD BANG
0:02:11 > 0:02:13METAL CLINKS
0:02:14 > 0:02:18One thing Top Gear was never short of was opinions.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22- WHISPERING:- They are the funniest creatures on earth, aren't they?
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Why are they so funny?
0:02:27 > 0:02:30This one's been to the Daktari shop in Florida, hasn't he?
0:02:30 > 0:02:33And if you were unfortunate enough to be one of this lot,
0:02:33 > 0:02:35you were guaranteed to get their attention.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37I don't know why, but American tourists...
0:02:37 > 0:02:38I know you're watching, America.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- We're not saying you're all like this.- No.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43- But when you travel...- You're ridiculous.- You're hysterical.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47'I was a bit uneasy about that particular bit of mickey taking,'
0:02:47 > 0:02:52BUT the problem is, and this is the problem with Clarkson et al,
0:02:52 > 0:02:54that it's funny.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56'Sadly, the Americans departed,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59'leaving us with nothing to look at except some hippos.'
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Jeremy's attitude to America is classically British, isn't it?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Everybody's very fat.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Everybody's very stupid, and everybody's very rude.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08And it's deliberately provocative.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12- What the hell accent is that? - LAUGHTER
0:03:12 > 0:03:13American.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- You're American?- Um...
0:03:15 > 0:03:17You can't be. You're nowhere near fat enough.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18LAUGHTER
0:03:18 > 0:03:20God, Florida's awful.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26Nasty insects, old people, fat people,
0:03:26 > 0:03:28a lot of people who all offer you cheese.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- AMERICAN ACCENT:- "You want cheese with that? You want cheese?"
0:03:31 > 0:03:33And then shoot you.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36See this here, look? He's turning right on a red light.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38That is America's only contribution to Western civilisation.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41It would be powered on the real version, obviously.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44It would be. Americans might lose weight if they had to do something for themselves.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47This is 600 pounds, and that's the same as having
0:03:47 > 0:03:50a whole American sitting on the tailgate.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52It also says it has a completely flat belly,
0:03:52 > 0:03:55the only thing in America that has.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59But in 2007, they almost took the Yank-beating too far.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02They headed to the deepest part of the Deep South
0:04:02 > 0:04:05and turned themselves into moving targets.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Literally.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09It says here, we must not be shot or arrested as we drive across
0:04:09 > 0:04:13the proud state of Alabama, but we will get bonus points
0:04:13 > 0:04:16if we can get one of the others shot or arrested.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19"You will decorate one another's cars in such a way to draw
0:04:19 > 0:04:23"maximum attention to yourself in this Bible-bashing, redneck,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25"deeply Christian part of the Union."
0:04:27 > 0:04:29The South, the South...
0:04:29 > 0:04:33It's Christian, short hair, they don't like Communists...
0:04:33 > 0:04:35What is closest to their heart? I've got to get him killed.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40I'd be letting you down, me down, everybody down.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42HE CHUCKLES
0:04:42 > 0:04:46I've been touring America since 1971 and you're going,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49"No. Don't... Really, don't do that."
0:04:49 > 0:04:53And I am amazed that somebody didn't blast them with some...
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I am stunned.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Three religions down here.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01George Bush, God, country and western,
0:05:01 > 0:05:03in that order, ascending order.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20I'll be honest.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22I have felt less conspicuous than this.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27To understand what Jeremy has actually done to my car,
0:05:27 > 0:05:31you have to remember that this is deep Republican territory.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36That woman is the arch-Democrat. She's the Antichrist.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- HORN HONKS - Ooh...
0:05:40 > 0:05:42No! No!
0:05:44 > 0:05:45- HORN BLARES - Oh...
0:05:47 > 0:05:49HORN TOOTS
0:05:49 > 0:05:52'They made a huge effort to attract the attention'
0:05:52 > 0:05:54of the more stupid people in Alabama.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57And then Jeremy has written on the boot, "NASCAR sucks."
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Now, that's a type of saloon car racing that is very, very
0:06:00 > 0:06:01big in this part of the world.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05To say it sucks is a bit like going up and punching
0:06:05 > 0:06:06somebody's sainted mother.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Well, they're talking about OUR racing,
0:06:08 > 0:06:10they're talking about NASCAR,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13they're talking about our great drivers. They're insulting it.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17'That's an insult. It wasn't by accident all that happened.'
0:06:17 > 0:06:20It was provocative. That was Top Gear's role.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22BULLETS PING
0:06:23 > 0:06:26They've shot their own sign.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28What are they going to do to us?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- LAUGHING NERVOUSLY:- OK...
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Just, um...
0:06:40 > 0:06:43That's diesel. That's...
0:06:45 > 0:06:49Hillary for President. That's not going down well.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53'This lady was cross, but not as cross as the garage's owner.'
0:06:53 > 0:06:55- I'll ask you! - He went into my car...
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Are y'all gay looking to see how long it takes to get beat up
0:06:58 > 0:07:00in a hick town?
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I'm not gay. I'm married. I've got three children.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Um, no, we're not. No.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09We've just sort of decorated our cars in a distinctive manner.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13"NASCAR sucks," "Country and western is rubbish."
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Guess what, you're in a hick town, man.- We're going to die now.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- That's it.- Don't you dare- BLEEP!
0:07:19 > 0:07:22'She said she was going to get "the boys",
0:07:22 > 0:07:24'so we decided to scarper.'
0:07:24 > 0:07:27I've just remembered I've actually got loads of petrol.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34'And then, of all the moments...'
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Oi! Jump leads.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- You're joking!- Jump leads.- Not now!
0:07:44 > 0:07:47This is going to be the quickest jump in history.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49You get the leads, I'll start it.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Tell your friend, if he tears up my parking lot again...
0:07:52 > 0:07:53'The rednecks arrived.'
0:07:55 > 0:07:58We've just got a slight problem here.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59BLEEP
0:07:59 > 0:08:01MEN SHOUT
0:08:01 > 0:08:02This is bad.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05'Then they turned on the film crews.'
0:08:05 > 0:08:08- BLEEP- Hey! If he tears up this car park...!- Quick!
0:08:08 > 0:08:09ENGINE STARTS
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- MEN SHOUT:- Get out of here! I'm telling you now!
0:08:12 > 0:08:15'Rocks started pelting our vans.'
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- ROCKS BANG - Get out of here!
0:08:19 > 0:08:21What's happening?
0:08:26 > 0:08:29BLEEP ENGINE STARTS
0:08:31 > 0:08:37- RADIO:- We need to get these slogans off, lads. Pull over, pull over.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Get the other side.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42We've got nothing to wipe it off with now.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Go.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49In fairness, it wasn't just the Americans
0:08:49 > 0:08:51who came in for some Top Gear stick.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54They sprayed their score around freely, including...
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Sometimes though Top Gear really was all about the cars,
0:09:18 > 0:09:22and quite a lot of it was about this one - the Bugatti Veyron.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26The Bugatti Veyron is the world's greatest road car.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29It's absolutely mind-blowingly fast.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33It doesn't feel like this crazy, inhumane supercar.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36It just feels like a Golf.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40You think, "Anybody could... My two-and-a-half-year-old boy could drive this."
0:09:40 > 0:09:41It's so easy to drive.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44And then you just go past that first inch on the throttle and you hear,
0:09:44 > 0:09:48"Ss-ss-ss-ss", and that's the four turbos lighting up in the back.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52And when they kick in, oh, it's a roar, and it really goes.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Yes, the 1,000-horsepower legend is back and, if I'm honest,
0:10:01 > 0:10:04I'm a bit nervous.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06'Not because of the car itself but because of the burden
0:10:06 > 0:10:09'that now rests on my shoulders.'
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Cos when Jeremy drove the Veyron, all he had to beat
0:10:13 > 0:10:16was an incompetent James in a useless little aeroplane.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Captain Slow is up there in his washing machine.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24I will not be beaten by a washing machine.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Then, when James went to Germany and maxed it,
0:10:34 > 0:10:36the car didn't even break sweat.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Come on, I need one more, one more!
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Come on! Come on!
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Yes!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51But this time, The Veyron's honour really is at stake
0:10:51 > 0:10:55because never before has it gone up against something like this.
0:10:59 > 0:11:04The most modern, the most hi-tech strike fighter on the planet -
0:11:04 > 0:11:07the Eurofighter Typhoon.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Faced with the clear and present danger of the Eurofighter,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13the Bugatti Veyron really is the car world's best shot
0:11:13 > 0:11:15at clinging to some honour.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19And no-one knows what the outcome will be.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23'You couldn't do it yourself
0:11:23 > 0:11:26'and that's what you want to watch, something that would only happen'
0:11:26 > 0:11:29inside your imagination with a car.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32This is it.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34- RADIO:- Stand by, one. Give me 20 seconds.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37And here's the challenge. It's a horizontal versus vertical
0:11:37 > 0:11:39drag race over two miles.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43LOUD BANG
0:11:48 > 0:11:50We are away!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53That was pure racing. That was absolutely flat out.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55We're neck and neck!
0:11:55 > 0:11:56I'm getting away!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01I can't believe I'm looking...
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Whoa!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05I can feel the wash from the jets!
0:12:06 > 0:12:07And there it goes!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16So I'm fighting for the Germans in a battle against the RAF.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24If you're watching thinking, "This is cool," it is.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28That's as late as I dare.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36This is where it's won or lost.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I was watching the TV going, "Come on! Go round the corner faster!
0:12:39 > 0:12:40"Get back on it earlier!"
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I'm on the return mile now.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49This is the best race in history!
0:12:55 > 0:12:58'I was doing 196mph, but was it enough?'
0:13:00 > 0:13:01"Come on, you want to win!"
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I must still be ahead. I can't see the plane!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09No!
0:13:09 > 0:13:11No!
0:13:12 > 0:13:14But, still, it was an awesome race.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17I suspect I may get some abuse for this.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44This is the P45.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48It was Jeremy's home-made effort at building the world's smallest car.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53Yes, look at this. Look at this very brilliant...
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- LOUD CLUNK - Oh! Oh, my God!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59If you're watching this in the edit, make sure that doesn't go on TV.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01I don't want people thinking it's a deathtrap.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- CLUNKING, HE GROANS - It happened again!
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Edit that out, as well!
0:14:07 > 0:14:11The P45 was an attempt to go one smaller than this, the P50,
0:14:11 > 0:14:15which, in 2007, Jeremy drove into the office, literally.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I remember peeking my head out one of the windows
0:14:17 > 0:14:21and seeing Jeremy driving the P50 round and round and just thinking,
0:14:21 > 0:14:24"Well, that's standard for round here."
0:14:24 > 0:14:25I've worked at the BBC for 20 years
0:14:25 > 0:14:28and I still don't know where I'm going.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Do you remember John Noakes, Peter Purves from Blue Peter?
0:14:30 > 0:14:32They're in here somewhere, lost.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Hello? Can anyone help?
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Thanks.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Which department is this?
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- BBC NEWS THEME MUSIC PLAYS - I'm really lost now.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Police have held talks with government ministers about how
0:14:48 > 0:14:50to handle the number of claims
0:14:50 > 0:14:52that have resulted from last month's floods.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56The total bill is estimated at about £1.5 billion.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Who's got the car?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03I appear for about 20 seconds or whatever it was...
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Who's stolen the car?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09..and I'm a hero in my own household for the first time.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13My son says, "Why are you on...? Why didn't you tell me? Wow, wow, wow."
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Whoa!
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Oh, Clarkson, you've met your match here, mate.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Please don't just steal our things. Do you mind?
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Thanks very much indeed. Jolly nice of you.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30For those few moments, I hugely envied Clarkson.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32I mean, what a way to make a living,
0:15:32 > 0:15:35doing things that make people look at you and go, "Oh, look at that!"
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Great.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41'Soon I was summoned to an important BBC meeting.'
0:15:42 > 0:15:43I believe we've already made
0:15:43 > 0:15:45significant inroads
0:15:45 > 0:15:46into the implementation
0:15:46 > 0:15:48of an open and inclusive policy
0:15:48 > 0:15:53for the ethnocentrically homogenous objectives of this department.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55In actual fact, that looked like a pilot
0:15:55 > 0:15:58for what came subsequently in W1A.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01..and minimising our carbon footprint
0:16:01 > 0:16:02through the functional usage...
0:16:02 > 0:16:06'But there was Jeremy Clarkson doing it four, five, six years
0:16:06 > 0:16:08'before W1A came along.'
0:16:08 > 0:16:11I hope that in this session we can discuss and address...
0:16:11 > 0:16:15'Sadly, the meeting went on for so long that there was no time left
0:16:15 > 0:16:18'in the day for any programme making.'
0:16:18 > 0:16:19'That could happen in the BBC.'
0:16:19 > 0:16:22What do you mean COULD happen? It DOES happen in the BBC.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27'I really do think that today I have seen the future
0:16:27 > 0:16:29'and it comes from 1963.'
0:16:31 > 0:16:34This Peel P50 really is absolutely brilliant.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36If it had a reverse gear,
0:16:36 > 0:16:40I would describe it as the absolute ultimate, really,
0:16:40 > 0:16:42of personal mobility. I can't...
0:16:44 > 0:16:46That's Dermot Murnaghan! Oi!
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I'm not sure he entirely expected it.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51He didn't know about it, so they gave me a rehearse with the car.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Murnaghan!
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Of course, I hadn't allowed for the fact
0:16:55 > 0:16:59that 6ft 5-inch Clarkson's getting in the car, as well, plus his, ahem,
0:16:59 > 0:17:03let's say slightly upholstered tummy.
0:17:03 > 0:17:07I remember lifting it up thinking, "Oh, my God!
0:17:07 > 0:17:11- "My back is going to go." - Murnaghan! Ugh!
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Thanks.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- Thanks for that. Sorry. - HORNS HONK
0:17:15 > 0:17:18I tell you something else, his name's not "Moighnahan".
0:17:21 > 0:17:25Not a lot of people know this but Jeremy Clarkson has a superpower.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29As a child, he was bitten by a radioactive metaphor,
0:17:29 > 0:17:31and since then he's been able to come up with descriptions
0:17:31 > 0:17:34that mere mortals like us can only dream of.
0:17:34 > 0:17:39They've even lined this cubbyhole and the glove box, as you can see,
0:17:39 > 0:17:41with purple velvet.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt
0:17:44 > 0:17:46and finding she's wearing a thong.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Top Gear has its own language
0:17:49 > 0:17:55and Jeremy in particular has his own way of speaking,
0:17:55 > 0:17:56with wonderful little asides,
0:17:56 > 0:18:01and it's the little asides that make his reviews and what he does.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Really, it's like driving a car that has chlamydia.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07There are no symptoms, but you know it's there
0:18:07 > 0:18:12and that sort of spoils the relationship a bit.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14It sounds like the God of Thunder.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17- CAR SCREECHES - Gargling with nails.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19When you put your foot down...
0:18:19 > 0:18:21ENGINE ROARS
0:18:21 > 0:18:23..its arse just goes volcanic!
0:18:23 > 0:18:28Last time I had this much fun, some furniture got broken.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31It's the next equivalent to a cooking programme.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33You can't smell the food or taste it,
0:18:33 > 0:18:35so you are so reliant on them so you go,
0:18:35 > 0:18:37"Well, actually, I can taste it."
0:18:37 > 0:18:41And that's what Jeremy has to do when he's reviewing a car,
0:18:41 > 0:18:43and he does that absolutely brilliantly.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47And I know it's daft and pointless but so is a tequila slammer.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52It doesn't stop you enjoying one from time to time though, does it?
0:18:52 > 0:18:56In essence then, this is a prawn and avocado sandwich.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58This is the full Sunday roast, this one.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01He's not frightened to say what he sees,
0:19:01 > 0:19:04what he hears or what he feels.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08The results are as dramatic as putting a furious weasel
0:19:08 > 0:19:10in your underpants.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11'It's a cat...'
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Ooh.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15'..gone feral.'
0:19:15 > 0:19:20It's as stupid and as wonderful as owning a pet elephant.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25'When Jeremy Clarkson gets behind the wheel of a car that he likes'
0:19:25 > 0:19:27and goes off on one about it...
0:19:27 > 0:19:30With all this wood everywhere,
0:19:30 > 0:19:32it's like driving along in Arthur Negus.
0:19:32 > 0:19:38You realise that actually he started life as a motoring journalist,
0:19:38 > 0:19:40and probably the best that there is.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44And I'm sorry but red brake callipers on a Jag?
0:19:44 > 0:19:46That's like fitting Camilla Parker Bowles
0:19:46 > 0:19:49with a vajazzle and rings.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51I'm saying this out loud, aren't I?
0:19:51 > 0:19:52It's a bit like Jordan.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55I can see why they did it, bit of a laugh,
0:19:55 > 0:19:57but I think they've gone too far.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I think it's all just a bit too silly.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Oh, damn it.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05OK, that's enough chat. Here's some slapstick.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Here we go. Reliant Robin.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Oh!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Oh, no.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19I've crashed it. I've crashed it almost immediately.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Ohhh!
0:20:24 > 0:20:25Help!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Oh, not again!
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Oh, God.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Oh, dear.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Oh, dear, look at the pitch.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44That's marvellous, thank you.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Oh, yes, that's comfortable. Thank you very much.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51This Dickie Bird MBE out of cricket umpiring here is not pleased.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53We have a cricket match on here.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- RADIO:- We call this thing The Stig.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09We don't know its name. We really don't know its name.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11No-one knows its name, and we don't want to know
0:21:11 > 0:21:15cos it's a racing driver and racing drivers have tiny little brains
0:21:15 > 0:21:18and therefore worthless opinions, and they're very dull.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Doctors actually call it Mansell Syndrome.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Some say he never blinks
0:21:23 > 0:21:28and that he roams around the woods at night, foraging for wolves.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30He sleeps upside down like a bat.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34When he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37His earwax tastes like Turkish delight.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41He's married to one of Princess Anne's hats.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44He was arrested for goosing Russell Brand.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47He has to take his shoes off with an Allen key.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50He once punched a horse to the ground.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Some say that we have at least thought of a new way
0:21:53 > 0:21:55of introducing him,
0:21:55 > 0:21:57- but we haven't. - LAUGHTER
0:21:57 > 0:21:59It's The Stig!
0:21:59 > 0:22:00TYRES SQUEAL
0:22:02 > 0:22:04'The Stig could drive.'
0:22:04 > 0:22:06He drove a car like a car should be driven.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Wow! With precision...
0:22:11 > 0:22:13'There were so many rumours'
0:22:13 > 0:22:15about who The Stig was,
0:22:15 > 0:22:19and there was a general impression that there was more than one Stig.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Well, I don't know. They all looked like Darth Vader's love child.
0:22:22 > 0:22:251.15.1.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26CHEERING
0:22:26 > 0:22:29It's a bit like meeting a white Power Ranger cos no-one knows who he is.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I think that's what works about him, it's just the mystery.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34It's just, "Who is behind the mask?".
0:22:34 > 0:22:36I'm not The Stig, OK?
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Even if I was The Stig, I couldn't say.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Because I'm not.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46- 1.13.8- No way!
0:22:46 > 0:22:47- I am not joking.- Wow!
0:22:47 > 0:22:50'The Stig is a cultural icon. Not a very talkative man,'
0:22:50 > 0:22:51but with an incredible aura.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54'I had absolutely no idea who The Stig was.'
0:22:54 > 0:22:58He had the full suit, the helmet on, and I had been warned
0:22:58 > 0:23:01that when I speak to him, he probably won't speak to me
0:23:01 > 0:23:03when there's other people in earshot.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06So, obviously I went up, said, "Hello, it's lovely to meet you."
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Nothing back.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11And he didn't take his helmet off at lunch.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15How he rammed in the chips through that hole, I don't know.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18A big part of me wants to go, "Take your bloody helmet off!"
0:23:18 > 0:23:21I want to see who the person is in there, and it's like...
0:23:21 > 0:23:23You don't see. Absolutely not.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26He's there in the helmet being all enigmatic...
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Yeah! Don't touch him!
0:23:28 > 0:23:30You become obsessed with things like his smell
0:23:30 > 0:23:32cos it's all you've got to go on.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- So, I'm in the car going... - SHE SNIFFS
0:23:37 > 0:23:38"Oh, Stig, you smell good."
0:23:38 > 0:23:42TV screens. Mercedes has TV in the front. BMW...
0:23:42 > 0:23:45I know the answer to this. It's got two, hasn't it?
0:23:45 > 0:23:49Front and rear, so you win that pair.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Right, BHP.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55I imagine The Stig probably has shark's eyes,
0:23:55 > 0:23:58those kind of dead eyes.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01There was lots we didn't know about The Stig,
0:24:01 > 0:24:04but for a man of mystery he certainly had a lot of cousins.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06He's not The Stig,
0:24:06 > 0:24:09but he is The Stig's vegetarian cousin.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- # All the leaves are brown - All the leaves are brown
0:24:12 > 0:24:15# And the sky is grey... #
0:24:15 > 0:24:17The Stig's teenage cousin.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:24:22 > 0:24:26It was now the Aussies' turn, so they unpacked their Stig.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31The Stig's African cousin!
0:24:31 > 0:24:33The Stig's American cousin!
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Ooh!
0:24:38 > 0:24:41He's The Stig's Chinese cousin.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47COMEDIC THWACKING
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Now, I should explain, driving is his second favourite thing.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55- What's his first favourite thing? - Attacking people. He does it a lot.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58He's constantly...
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Why are you doing that?
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Why don't you go and do some driving?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Do some... Go...
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- Get into the...- Ugh. - Stop attacking us.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07Get in the car.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09No, HE'S got to get in the car.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12- Get in the car.- Trumpchi, Trumpchi.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Get in the Trumpchi.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14No.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19No, that's the director. That is the director.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25What if I start the engine? Would that do it? Come on.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28- Come on, in you go. - They bow, don't they?
0:25:28 > 0:25:30- Go in. Get in.- Oh, yes.- Get in.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36That's the worst Stig we've ever had.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40The budget for cars on Top Gear
0:25:40 > 0:25:42was astronomical...
0:25:44 > 0:25:45..until it came to the guests,
0:25:45 > 0:25:48who were lucky if they got a three-year-old Punto.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Which way? Shall I go in headfirst?
0:25:50 > 0:25:53But we did get to do a lap with The Stig.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55And to drive like absolute maniacs.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57- Oh, my God!- Yes!- Yeah!
0:25:57 > 0:26:00- The wheel...- Crash!
0:26:00 > 0:26:03I was beside myself because I love speed, I love driving,
0:26:03 > 0:26:06and to get on a track with The Stig was beyond exciting.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08'It was an amazing experience, actually,'
0:26:08 > 0:26:10to have The Stig give you any kind of lesson,
0:26:10 > 0:26:14to show you round a track, is a huge honour, a huge privilege.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15'So he takes you round the first time gently
0:26:15 > 0:26:17'and he's talking you through it'
0:26:17 > 0:26:20and then the second time he goes at speed,
0:26:20 > 0:26:21which I loved!
0:26:21 > 0:26:24I think The Stig took me around maybe twice and then was like,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27"Right, why don't you have a go?" I couldn't believe it.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31It's pretty hairy when he sits in the passenger seat
0:26:31 > 0:26:34and you've got to drive because you know this is a professional driver.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Come on, my son!
0:26:36 > 0:26:39'He knows how to teach as well as drive himself. It was quite cool,'
0:26:39 > 0:26:42he gave me a lot of pointers that I've used on the roads,
0:26:42 > 0:26:44obviously within a limit.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47And then you have a few goes and they time some of them.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49I don't know which ones they don't time and which ones they do.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51You have to just go for it.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54If you wipe-out, so what? No-one's going to see that.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56You know when you spin off and you know you think
0:26:56 > 0:26:59- the cameras weren't filming you? - Yes, they were.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- LAUGHTER - Yeah, they were. Let's have a look.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Ooh, yep.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07I took my lap pretty seriously.
0:27:07 > 0:27:08I am very competitive
0:27:08 > 0:27:12but not in a way that I'll be upset if I do badly.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14BLEEP
0:27:14 > 0:27:17And then off we went REALLY fast in this poxy little car.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20There are we go in the first... First corner, that one.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22I remember it distinctly going through my mind,
0:27:22 > 0:27:24"What's my damage limitation?
0:27:24 > 0:27:27"Can I make a funny fallback or should I roll the car?"
0:27:27 > 0:27:29And you never change your expression!
0:27:29 > 0:27:32And here we go again on the second-to-last corner again.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Look at that! Just not bothered!
0:27:34 > 0:27:39It was very exciting and I am hugely competitive
0:27:39 > 0:27:40when it comes to driving.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43SHE SCREAMS LAUGHTER
0:27:43 > 0:27:48It wasn't completely smooth out there in your practice, was it?
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Yeah, I took it really seriously. I really went for it.
0:27:54 > 0:27:55Very good!
0:27:55 > 0:27:58When I'm going round, I'm kind of giving the impression
0:27:58 > 0:28:01that I don't mind and I don't care where you come
0:28:01 > 0:28:04but underneath it all, you do.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Now, when our guest tonight first came here, he was so spectacular...
0:28:07 > 0:28:10CHEERING
0:28:10 > 0:28:12..we named a corner in his honour.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14Good to see you again. Have a seat.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Michael Gambon is here!
0:28:15 > 0:28:18You've got the very sharp Gambon turn,
0:28:18 > 0:28:20which is very tight, and at the finish.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22So, where are we going? Whoa!
0:28:22 > 0:28:23It's the Tom Cruise line!
0:28:23 > 0:28:25There we are across the line.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28It's going to be...! Oh, my God!
0:28:28 > 0:28:31Finished! Well done!
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Aaaah!
0:28:34 > 0:28:37I've never seen anyone so aggressive. Ever!
0:28:37 > 0:28:39HE CHEERS
0:28:39 > 0:28:41WHEELS SCREECH
0:28:41 > 0:28:42Big wheel spin.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45Because I was concentrating so much, I was just like that...
0:28:48 > 0:28:52So they kind of said, "Look, Jods, this is a TV show.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54"Can you say something or do something?"
0:28:54 > 0:28:57So they sent me round again that was not timed,
0:28:57 > 0:28:59so that was where I was pretending I was all...
0:28:59 > 0:29:01I was like, "This is so weird."
0:29:01 > 0:29:02SHE CLICKS HER TONGUE
0:29:04 > 0:29:05Aah!
0:29:08 > 0:29:09- You want to beat JK?- Yes.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11- You did.- No!
0:29:12 > 0:29:14'I wasn't expecting anything.
0:29:14 > 0:29:18'I certainly wasn't expecting to go to the top of the board.'
0:29:18 > 0:29:20But, yeah, I was truly amazed.
0:29:21 > 0:29:24Ellen, this is impressive, I've got to be honest.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Look at that! Tongue's come out.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29Did you lift off there?
0:29:29 > 0:29:31Ooh!
0:29:31 > 0:29:34Oh, this is a bit wide but quick, you've got to be honest,
0:29:34 > 0:29:37and there we are across the line, everybody!
0:29:37 > 0:29:38APPLAUSE
0:29:38 > 0:29:41You did it in 1 minute...
0:29:41 > 0:29:44- 46... - CROWD GASP
0:29:44 > 0:29:46..point 7. You've done it!
0:29:46 > 0:29:49'I was absolutely gobsmacked and I just felt I hadn't done it,'
0:29:49 > 0:29:52I hadn't done as well as I could, so when I got to the top,
0:29:52 > 0:29:54I was really, really surprised.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57- CHEERING - You are a star!
0:29:57 > 0:29:59You beat Jimmy Carr!
0:29:59 > 0:30:02In series 16, I got to have a go,
0:30:02 > 0:30:05but by then there was this little fellow at the top of the leaderboard.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Get a load of that, Stiggy boy!
0:30:10 > 0:30:13Flat out through the tyres, as well.
0:30:13 > 0:30:14Yep.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17And then we went into Gambon,
0:30:17 > 0:30:19round there and there we are, everyone, across the line.
0:30:25 > 0:30:26John Bishop...
0:30:28 > 0:30:30One minute...
0:30:30 > 0:30:33Forty...
0:30:33 > 0:30:35- two... - CROWD CHEER
0:30:44 > 0:30:47That's put an Englishman back on top.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49There's much to talk about there.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Tom Cruise, my arse.
0:30:52 > 0:30:57One thing Top Gear always did was push things to the limit and beyond.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59If they ran out of racetrack, they'd go on the road.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01- If they ran out of road... - There's no track!
0:31:01 > 0:31:03- ..they'd go off-road.- Aah!
0:31:03 > 0:31:06And if they ran out of land, they'd just go in the water,
0:31:06 > 0:31:08as they did in this challenge from 2006.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11The result... I'll let Jeremy explain.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15If we're honest, it didn't go all that well.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20James' Herald was pretty good on the water,
0:31:20 > 0:31:22but then there were some problems on land.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24Oh, cock.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27Richard's Dampervan was rubbish on the land
0:31:27 > 0:31:29and then even more rubbish in the water.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31It's going!
0:31:31 > 0:31:34My Toyboata, on the other hand, was brilliant everywhere,
0:31:34 > 0:31:37right up to the moment when it, um, rolled over.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40- ENGINE SPLUTTERS - Richard...
0:31:40 > 0:31:43- Richard! - RICHARD LAUGHS
0:31:43 > 0:31:46At one point you actually think, "This could be quite dangerous."
0:31:46 > 0:31:48When you see Jeremy in the corner and Richard,
0:31:48 > 0:31:50you think the car's going to seriously damage them both.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53- STEAM HISSES - Oh- BLEEP!
0:31:53 > 0:31:54ENGINE SPLUTTERS
0:31:55 > 0:31:58That's pretty cold!
0:31:58 > 0:31:59RICHARD LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:32:02 > 0:32:04Because that went so well,
0:32:04 > 0:32:06a few years later they had another go,
0:32:06 > 0:32:10but this time it was more ambitious, more rubbish
0:32:10 > 0:32:11and sort of wonderful.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13That should give me more, um...
0:32:14 > 0:32:16Um...
0:32:16 > 0:32:17Um...
0:32:18 > 0:32:20- Stability!- Yes, that.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26What you've done there, mate,
0:32:26 > 0:32:28is you've parked a van on top of a boat.
0:32:28 > 0:32:30No, no, no, it's brilliant, let me tell you!
0:32:30 > 0:32:33'I always enjoyed the challenges when it's doomed from the start.'
0:32:33 > 0:32:36It's like a comedy, it really is. You know it's going to go wrong.
0:32:36 > 0:32:38This is where the girls go, up here.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40- Now, Richard...- ..in bikinis.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43- ..I'm already seeing the problem. Would you like to step down?- Yes.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45- Stand at the wheel.- Yes.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47- Look ahead.- Yeah, that is an issue.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49- I didn't discover it until... - JEREMY LAUGHS
0:32:49 > 0:32:51I need a box.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53'They all try and become so competitive'
0:32:53 > 0:32:55and want to outdo each other all the time,
0:32:55 > 0:32:57and that's what you get on Top Gear.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00Now I have a collapsible mast.
0:33:00 > 0:33:01Oh, timber!
0:33:01 > 0:33:04- SMASHING - Oh, it's the lamp!- Um...
0:33:04 > 0:33:07- So, would you admit that your design is already flawed?- No.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10METAL CLUNKS
0:33:10 > 0:33:12Ultimately, people enjoy it, the people who are on it
0:33:12 > 0:33:15and the people who are watching it, when things go wrong,
0:33:15 > 0:33:16when things just fail terribly.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21HE COUGHS
0:33:21 > 0:33:23JEREMY LAUGHS
0:33:23 > 0:33:25Hammond is being killed and mine is...
0:33:25 > 0:33:27Well, it's hard to know, is that smoke?
0:33:27 > 0:33:29They've hit the perfect balance
0:33:29 > 0:33:31between car show and entertainment show.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35I think if you are into cars then there's loads there for you,
0:33:35 > 0:33:38but if you're not into cars, as well, it's just really entertaining.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40- How's your engine?- Ruined.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46Every single thing we do...
0:33:46 > 0:33:48'They're all incredibly ambitious,'
0:33:48 > 0:33:51very entertaining and utterly pointless most of the time
0:33:51 > 0:33:53and so I think any challenge
0:33:53 > 0:33:57that when you think about when they came up with it in the room,
0:33:57 > 0:34:01people just laughed uproariously at the sheer idiocy
0:34:01 > 0:34:03of coming up with that in the first place,
0:34:03 > 0:34:05and then thought, "But I'd love to see it."
0:34:05 > 0:34:08That's a typical Top Gear challenge.
0:34:08 > 0:34:09Let's go!
0:34:09 > 0:34:12'The whole challenge is, can you make a car'
0:34:12 > 0:34:14and could you take it across to France?
0:34:14 > 0:34:16This is absolutely brilliant!
0:34:18 > 0:34:21You just know before it even starts that they're just not going to make it.
0:34:21 > 0:34:25I'm actually using my weight to counter the roll of the craft.
0:34:25 > 0:34:26Ow.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28And it's the interpretation of the challenge
0:34:28 > 0:34:30in three very different ways
0:34:30 > 0:34:33that mirrors the personality of the individuals involved.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36You can't see what's coming! I can!
0:34:36 > 0:34:39I can just see sky, sea, sky, sea!
0:34:39 > 0:34:40JEREMY LAUGHS
0:34:40 > 0:34:44Whoa! My, God, this is big now!
0:34:44 > 0:34:47Why the bloody hell won't it turn round?
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Ow. Mayday!
0:34:49 > 0:34:52There's a part of it that's just all wrong, just shouldn't happen,
0:34:52 > 0:34:54you just can't do that.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57They really push the boundaries of what's possible with a car.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04I'm disappointed. I thought we were going to make it.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06Oh, sorry, mate, the cup sank.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09How they passed any kind of Health and Safety rigour...
0:35:09 > 0:35:11You'd actually say, "Wow."
0:35:11 > 0:35:13A couple of years ago, Richard Branson set a record
0:35:13 > 0:35:17for crossing the Channel in an amphibious car.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21- 1 hour, 40 minutes, 6 seconds. - What, shall we go for it?
0:35:21 > 0:35:23- We'll give it a shot? - We'll be in Calais for lunch.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25Beardy, you're going down!
0:35:27 > 0:35:29And then all of a sudden, you see a little ray of light
0:35:29 > 0:35:33and this vehicle, basically, going across the Channel.
0:35:36 > 0:35:41France! We can see France from a pick-up truck!
0:35:44 > 0:35:45THEY SHOUT
0:35:45 > 0:35:47- RADIO:- This is the UK ... Aircraft.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Please state your intentions, please.
0:35:50 > 0:35:55Our intentions are to go across the Channel faster than Beardy Branson.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57- RADIO:- In that case, I wish you good luck and bon voyage.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02The Channel has massive supertankers
0:36:02 > 0:36:06and ships going from right to left and left to right all the time,
0:36:06 > 0:36:08and they have big waves behind them,
0:36:08 > 0:36:11so it's pretty challenging crossing the Channel in anything.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13Even to take some boats across would be a challenge,
0:36:13 > 0:36:15let alone an amphibious vehicle.
0:36:15 > 0:36:17- Bloody hell.- What do we do now?
0:36:17 > 0:36:20We can't remember whose right of way it is.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22Oh, God, no!
0:36:22 > 0:36:26- I'm thinking I'll maybe go behind it.- Yeah, I'd go behind it.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28Yeah, yeah. I think behind is best.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31'We turned our attention back to Branson's record.'
0:36:31 > 0:36:35Ready? 1 hour, 40 minutes, coming up...now!
0:36:35 > 0:36:38- We've failed!- We lost!
0:36:40 > 0:36:43'Now it was just a question of seeing if we could make it.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46'But with eight miles to go, it started to get choppy.'
0:36:48 > 0:36:50We're going down, boys!
0:36:50 > 0:36:52No! It's pouring in.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Oh, my God, look in there now.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57I don't like that!
0:36:57 > 0:36:58We're in big trouble!
0:36:59 > 0:37:01I don't like this!
0:37:01 > 0:37:04I'm getting a bit bored with sinking, frankly.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09'Mercifully, as we got into the lee, or something or other,
0:37:09 > 0:37:13'the waters calmed and we could taste success.'
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Come on! Come on!
0:37:15 > 0:37:17We're 20 yards from France.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21'To succeed, we had to get up the boat ramp
0:37:21 > 0:37:23'but that meant going through the breakers.'
0:37:24 > 0:37:27No! No!
0:37:29 > 0:37:31Where's that come from?
0:37:31 > 0:37:34'Skilfully, James got a rope round the front bumper
0:37:34 > 0:37:36'and in a gap in the waves, I went for it.'
0:37:44 > 0:37:46- No! - ENGINE REVS
0:37:49 > 0:37:51That's good.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53'The pick-up had landed.'
0:38:29 > 0:38:33Occasionally, the boys would do a beautiful piece
0:38:33 > 0:38:37about a beautiful car, beautifully filmed.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Here's the beautiful Jeremy.
0:38:41 > 0:38:46Well, it's an Aston Martin Vantage with a V12 engine.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50So what do you think it's going to be like?
0:39:18 > 0:39:20It is fantastic.
0:39:22 > 0:39:25It's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39'What it makes me feel though...
0:39:39 > 0:39:41'is sad.'
0:39:43 > 0:39:47I just can't help thinking that thanks to all sorts of things,
0:39:47 > 0:39:50the environment, the economy, problems in the Middle East,
0:39:50 > 0:39:53the relentless war on speed,
0:39:53 > 0:39:58cars like this will soon be consigned to the history books.
0:40:13 > 0:40:16I just have this horrible, dreadful feeling
0:40:16 > 0:40:19that what I'm driving here is an ending.
0:40:52 > 0:40:53Goodnight.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58Easy, Jez. We're only on V. We're going all the way to Z.
0:41:02 > 0:41:03In 2009,
0:41:03 > 0:41:06Captain Slow finally met his nemesis.
0:41:06 > 0:41:10Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr Ken Block.
0:41:10 > 0:41:11ENGINE ROARS
0:41:11 > 0:41:13I can hear him coming now.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16And I suspect he won't be arriving in a straight line.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20No. He's more like a Gamestation character
0:41:20 > 0:41:23who has emerged into the real world.
0:41:30 > 0:41:35And that's why his films get more than ten million hits on FaceTube.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37It's just brilliantly conceived because you think,
0:41:37 > 0:41:40"Well, you can drive as fast as you like on a runway."
0:41:40 > 0:41:41ENGINE REVS
0:41:41 > 0:41:44To be sat next to a professional rally driver
0:41:44 > 0:41:45is something I can't describe.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47I've done it and it is...
0:41:47 > 0:41:49I can describe it. It's amazing.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54The beauty about that footage is you actually get to hear and feel
0:41:54 > 0:41:57and almost smell what they're going through.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59Bloody hell.
0:41:59 > 0:42:00ENGINE ROARS
0:42:02 > 0:42:05- Mind the aeroplanes! - WHEELS SCREECH
0:42:08 > 0:42:10Door!
0:42:10 > 0:42:11Ooh, God!
0:42:20 > 0:42:22God! That's unbelievable!
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Oh, ho-ho!
0:42:27 > 0:42:28Mind the pole!
0:42:30 > 0:42:32Where the hell are we going now?
0:42:33 > 0:42:34Whoa!
0:42:38 > 0:42:40That's Ricky Carmichael, a good friend of mine.
0:42:40 > 0:42:43I think he's come out to play with us.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46LAUGHTER
0:42:46 > 0:42:48Where's he gone?
0:42:51 > 0:42:52Whoa!
0:42:55 > 0:42:57NO! NO!
0:42:57 > 0:42:59Goodbye, viewers.
0:43:04 > 0:43:06Wuh!
0:43:09 > 0:43:10The nose of a VC2!
0:43:13 > 0:43:15He's getting away!
0:43:15 > 0:43:16Not over there, that's a jump.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19That's a Moto... That's a Motocross jump! No!
0:43:23 > 0:43:25It is visually stunning.
0:43:27 > 0:43:28It's something to be admired.
0:43:28 > 0:43:31If you're a film-maker, you're going to be taking that away
0:43:31 > 0:43:35as a picture of a memory that says "that's quite incredible."
0:43:40 > 0:43:43It's just amazing television, it really is.
0:43:46 > 0:43:47We're alive!
0:43:47 > 0:43:50THEY LAUGH
0:43:50 > 0:43:52That was incredible!
0:43:52 > 0:43:56'Everyone is thinking, "Yeah, I'd be damned scared as well."
0:43:56 > 0:44:00'But what an opportunity if you trust the guy that's driving.'
0:44:00 > 0:44:03And, you know, there is part of every one of those programmes
0:44:03 > 0:44:05you think, they must...
0:44:05 > 0:44:09Even... even Top Gear must have "health and safteyed" this...
0:44:09 > 0:44:10..we think!
0:44:12 > 0:44:15I'm pretty sure I'm right in saying that there's not many roads
0:44:15 > 0:44:17in the North Pole,
0:44:17 > 0:44:20But that didn't stop the Top Gear team having a race to it.
0:44:20 > 0:44:23Before they started, they had to be instructed on survival
0:44:23 > 0:44:25by a member of the special forces.
0:44:25 > 0:44:27You know, the ones with the blurry faces.
0:44:27 > 0:44:31In your own time, I want all three of you to jump in.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35What's the problem?
0:44:35 > 0:44:39Well, hang on! So, at the Pole, we'd all three be standing in a line
0:44:39 > 0:44:41with safety harnesses, holding poles when we fall in the water?
0:44:41 > 0:44:43It's a silly test. I'm not doing that.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46To be honest, the whole point of this is that you have to be able
0:44:46 > 0:44:48to take your clothes off and put more clothes on again very quickly.
0:44:48 > 0:44:50I practised that in my hotel room.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53What is it when you've got, like, a tingling down your arm and chest...?
0:44:56 > 0:44:57He's gone in!
0:44:57 > 0:44:59'You can see it came as a complete shock.
0:44:59 > 0:45:02'He's scrambling, trying to get out, and you could see on Jeremy's face'
0:45:02 > 0:45:06he wanted to swear and shout at this guy, but he was so cold,
0:45:06 > 0:45:07he couldn't even speak.
0:45:07 > 0:45:09Don't stay in there all day! Drop the pole.
0:45:09 > 0:45:11How dare you...
0:45:11 > 0:45:13Hands above your head! Hands above your head!
0:45:13 > 0:45:15HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD!
0:45:15 > 0:45:17OK. Roll in the snow, roll in the snow.
0:45:17 > 0:45:18ROLL IN THE SNOW!
0:45:18 > 0:45:20Roll in the snow, Jeremy.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23That will make you much better rather than a pink, fluffy towel.
0:45:23 > 0:45:27- That looked awful.- I'm staggered.
0:45:27 > 0:45:28'Wow! This really is ambitious.'
0:45:28 > 0:45:30And it's real.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33It's not... They're not making this up, they're not faking it.
0:45:33 > 0:45:36I imagine them sitting down with the producer and the creator,
0:45:36 > 0:45:41and thinking, "Now, a blank bit of paper. Here's the world...
0:45:41 > 0:45:42"Where are we going to go?"
0:45:46 > 0:45:47Who do you think is going to win this race?
0:45:47 > 0:45:49I think we are all going to die.
0:45:49 > 0:45:53DOGS BARK
0:45:53 > 0:45:57Incredibly ambitious. I mean, you don't get to the magnetic North Pole
0:45:57 > 0:45:58without being ambitious.
0:45:58 > 0:46:00The logistics that are involved...
0:46:00 > 0:46:02I can't believe it!
0:46:02 > 0:46:05I'm going to the Pole with a dog team.
0:46:07 > 0:46:09Yeah!
0:46:09 > 0:46:12Hammond is given the dogs and the huskies and off he goes.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14WHIP CRACKS
0:46:14 > 0:46:17This is only the third time I've had skis on my feet.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21It's really hard. I know, OK, lots of people ski these days,
0:46:21 > 0:46:24but I grew up in Birmingham.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27Then, in typical Clarkson style, they are now in a lovely 4x4
0:46:27 > 0:46:29with all the kit in it.
0:46:29 > 0:46:33You just think, he's got the short straw again. Poor old Hammond!
0:46:33 > 0:46:34Oh, hell!
0:46:34 > 0:46:36UGH!
0:46:36 > 0:46:37BLEEP
0:46:39 > 0:46:42The contrast was just massive, almost comedic.
0:46:42 > 0:46:44There's real hardship on one side...
0:46:44 > 0:46:46I took my balaclava off because it had frozen
0:46:46 > 0:46:48all around where I was breathing through it
0:46:48 > 0:46:51in my tent with the floor... made of snow.
0:46:51 > 0:46:55And then, typical Clarkson style, he's sitting there looking pretty.
0:46:55 > 0:46:57Now, this is Arctic exploration!
0:46:57 > 0:47:00MUSICAL AIR HORN SOUNDS
0:47:01 > 0:47:03Bartlett, not on the rope!
0:47:03 > 0:47:05How many poos a day do these dogs need to have?!
0:47:05 > 0:47:07WOMAN LAUGHS
0:47:07 > 0:47:09- I'd say two.- It's ten.
0:47:09 > 0:47:11It's ten easily at least.
0:47:11 > 0:47:12Quails egg?
0:47:14 > 0:47:17Oh, yeah, lovely! Have you got any celery salt?
0:47:17 > 0:47:18Ow!
0:47:18 > 0:47:19Ah!
0:47:19 > 0:47:22What would those salmon eggs go really well with?
0:47:22 > 0:47:24Well...
0:47:24 > 0:47:25A crisp white.
0:47:25 > 0:47:26Bugger!
0:47:26 > 0:47:27PHONE RINGS
0:47:27 > 0:47:28Matty, I'm off!
0:47:28 > 0:47:30So, do we get...?
0:47:30 > 0:47:31No!
0:47:31 > 0:47:33No!
0:47:33 > 0:47:35James!
0:47:35 > 0:47:37DOGS BARK
0:47:37 > 0:47:40It's weird the way being very tired affects you.
0:47:40 > 0:47:44Today, privately, whilst being towed along by the sledge,
0:47:44 > 0:47:46I had a little weep.
0:47:46 > 0:47:49I haven't done that for years.
0:47:49 > 0:47:55And, out here, the tears cause moisture in your ski goggles.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58And it froze on the inside so I couldn't see.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01So then I had something to cry about!
0:48:01 > 0:48:04It was completely riveting TV. Were they going to make it?
0:48:10 > 0:48:13The ice here was perilously thin.
0:48:13 > 0:48:15It's just completely covered in cracks.
0:48:24 > 0:48:28You can hear the ice cracking and there's a moment of genuine fear.
0:48:28 > 0:48:29BLEEP
0:48:31 > 0:48:33- This is- BLEEP- scary.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38- If we go in here we're dead, aren't we?- Yep.
0:48:40 > 0:48:41I mean dead.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47INAUDIBLE
0:48:47 > 0:48:50The car has to go through an awful lot of stress.
0:48:50 > 0:48:53It's dangerous. Yeah, it was amazing.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Sometimes, Jeremy, you have to move slowly.
0:48:55 > 0:48:57For example, going over the soft snow where we've been told,
0:48:57 > 0:49:00time and again, there are huge lumps of immobile ice,
0:49:00 > 0:49:03which is exactly what has caused that.
0:49:07 > 0:49:11Woohoo!
0:49:11 > 0:49:14- ...a sharp edge. Axe it smooth. - James!- What?
0:49:14 > 0:49:17The bolt has stuck to my lips. Oh, Christ!
0:49:18 > 0:49:21JEREMY MUMBLES
0:49:21 > 0:49:22BLEEP
0:49:22 > 0:49:25- (MUMBLING)- Hurry up! - Put some coffee in your mouth.
0:49:25 > 0:49:26BLEEP
0:49:26 > 0:49:28It hurts, man!
0:49:28 > 0:49:31And you think, if he pulls it off now, he's got no top lip.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34- MMH! That's hot! - Put it in there.
0:49:36 > 0:49:39- Shove your face in it. - Oh, thank God for that!
0:49:40 > 0:49:41Bloody hell!
0:49:41 > 0:49:42What a prat!
0:49:45 > 0:49:47God, struth!
0:49:51 > 0:49:52Oh!
0:49:54 > 0:49:55Get out of here!
0:50:00 > 0:50:02So, did they make it to the top of the world?
0:50:02 > 0:50:05Ready for it? Ready, ready? Ready, ready?
0:50:08 > 0:50:09Yes!
0:50:09 > 0:50:11IT'S THERE!
0:50:11 > 0:50:15LAUGHTER
0:50:15 > 0:50:16Oh!
0:50:19 > 0:50:23Right, so I will disconnect these, OK, which go to that.
0:50:23 > 0:50:27Yes, as a great man once said, boys will be boys.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29GIGGLING
0:50:29 > 0:50:35He's going to have the worst... literally, the worst journey
0:50:35 > 0:50:37in human history.
0:50:37 > 0:50:41Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the delicate art of sabotage.
0:50:41 > 0:50:43THEY LAUGH
0:50:43 > 0:50:44Come on!
0:50:44 > 0:50:46MUSIC: I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe) by Genesis
0:50:46 > 0:50:48I can't stop it!
0:50:49 > 0:50:51I didn't think you liked Genesis.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53I can't stop it.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56Weird.
0:50:57 > 0:50:59- You- BLEEP.
0:50:59 > 0:51:01What have you done?
0:51:02 > 0:51:05I mean, the pranks were probably my favourite thing, you know.
0:51:05 > 0:51:07That's probably what made it the boy's show.
0:51:07 > 0:51:09They always tend to work in pairs.
0:51:09 > 0:51:12'It's never one person who's going to sabotage another's car.'
0:51:12 > 0:51:14Why don't we just hit it with a hammer?
0:51:14 > 0:51:16THEY LAUGH
0:51:16 > 0:51:21'When you properly belly laugh together and you're working together
0:51:21 > 0:51:22'all of the time...'
0:51:22 > 0:51:25They really built these old buses! It's ridiculous.
0:51:25 > 0:51:26That's come out!
0:51:26 > 0:51:29..it says that those people love each other.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31I'm just hitting it with a spatula.
0:51:31 > 0:51:33Another mosquito just bit my face.
0:51:33 > 0:51:38And I think that is one of those magical, very unusual, combinations
0:51:38 > 0:51:41where it goes up to the next level.
0:51:41 > 0:51:45MORE LAUGHTER
0:51:46 > 0:51:49Funny! Very funny!
0:51:50 > 0:51:53What James has done is turned my heater up to full
0:51:53 > 0:51:58and then removed the heater knob so I can't turn it back down again.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01What a monumental bellend he is.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04When they did sabotage each other's cars, it wasn't something
0:52:04 > 0:52:07that could be put right in a couple of minutes.
0:52:07 > 0:52:11You were pretty much stuck with it for the rest of the programme.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14I think you'll find track four is particularly to his liking.
0:52:14 > 0:52:19I remember bumping into them a few times and we had a few jokes
0:52:19 > 0:52:22and a few drinks, if I remember rightly.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26But, er... Yeah, it's very similar to being in a band, what they have.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30..because the moment he puts the ignition on it will be on full.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33- He can't move...- Right. - Oh, perfect!
0:52:34 > 0:52:37THUMPING DANCE MUSIC
0:52:37 > 0:52:39Whatever you think up, you've got to be prepared
0:52:39 > 0:52:41to accept the consequences because it's going to come back
0:52:41 > 0:52:43in the other direction, which is great.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46And always trying to outdo each other.
0:52:46 > 0:52:50- James, have you messed with this seat in my car?- Might have done.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53Oi!
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Come on!
0:52:55 > 0:52:57Your jacket.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59You! That IS my jacket.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01- Oh! - Go and wash the car.
0:53:02 > 0:53:04Oh!
0:53:05 > 0:53:08Have you wired my brake pedal to my air horn?
0:53:08 > 0:53:09Yes, I have.
0:53:09 > 0:53:10CRASH
0:53:10 > 0:53:12Hammond!
0:53:12 > 0:53:14CLARKSON!
0:53:16 > 0:53:18What if it were to go down the hill?
0:53:20 > 0:53:22- Ha-ha! Very funny. - Oh, no!- Oh, my God!
0:53:24 > 0:53:27Have you also taken the time to put the air horn inside the car?
0:53:27 > 0:53:29- Yes, I did. - AIR HORN SOUNDS
0:53:29 > 0:53:31- OW! - Clarkson!
0:53:32 > 0:53:34Funny!
0:53:34 > 0:53:36How long's that been there?
0:53:37 > 0:53:39HAMMOND EXHALES
0:53:39 > 0:53:40HE SHOUTS
0:53:41 > 0:53:46May! Is that thing on the front of your car made out of my door?
0:53:46 > 0:53:47- (QUIETLY)- Yes, it is.
0:53:47 > 0:53:51I did warn you. Did I or did I not warn you?
0:53:51 > 0:53:52James is killing Jeremy.
0:53:52 > 0:53:55- Can you give me a...? - Is that my door?- What?
0:53:55 > 0:53:58- You utter, utter... - CAR ENGINE DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:53:58 > 0:54:00...where are you?
0:54:00 > 0:54:03Let's not get bogged down with who did what to whom.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05No, because you did all of it.
0:54:05 > 0:54:06And...
0:54:06 > 0:54:08THUMPING DANCE MUSIC RESUMES
0:54:08 > 0:54:10For God's sake!
0:54:10 > 0:54:12No!
0:54:16 > 0:54:18You are so unfunny.
0:54:23 > 0:54:28But jokes aside, what these boys really wanted to do was race.
0:54:28 > 0:54:30If it could be raced, they'd race it.
0:54:30 > 0:54:35Helicopters, bobsleigh's, the ravages of time, it really didn't matter
0:54:35 > 0:54:37just as long as there was a countdown...
0:54:50 > 0:54:52And they're off! Well, he is anyway.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03Trees! You nutter!
0:55:07 > 0:55:09He's got to go so much less distance than me.
0:55:14 > 0:55:17Come on, you've crossed the desert. You can do this.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25I don't think this is going to make it as an Olympic sport.
0:55:25 > 0:55:26Come on!
0:55:29 > 0:55:30Come on then, canoe boy!
0:55:32 > 0:55:35It's not that I'm an overgrown schoolboy or anything.
0:55:35 > 0:55:37But this is really good fun.
0:55:42 > 0:55:43Ah!
0:55:44 > 0:55:45The brakes, man!
0:55:48 > 0:55:51You could slow down a ruddy funeral at this rate.
0:55:51 > 0:55:52I'm going as fast...
0:55:54 > 0:55:55He's going like a missile!
0:55:57 > 0:55:58Speed!
0:56:01 > 0:56:02Woo!
0:56:02 > 0:56:06This is what I get to eat on the boat, a melted bar of chocolate...
0:56:15 > 0:56:16Bloody hell!
0:56:17 > 0:56:19He's just gone past me again!
0:56:19 > 0:56:22What do you think of that? Ha-ha-ha!
0:56:26 > 0:56:31There they are. Look at that, they look as if they've nicked something.
0:56:35 > 0:56:36I can't lose this!
0:56:40 > 0:56:42He hit the side. He's going to kill us!
0:56:43 > 0:56:44HE SCREAMS
0:56:44 > 0:56:47I don't want to die.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50No!
0:56:54 > 0:56:57He's just toying with me now. Look at him!
0:56:59 > 0:57:00Aha!
0:57:02 > 0:57:04I did it! It's won through.
0:57:07 > 0:57:09You've got to be...!
0:57:09 > 0:57:10- Here we go. - Oh, my God... He's...
0:57:10 > 0:57:13Well, that's it. The race is over.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16We've gone from A to Z through the greatest car show
0:57:16 > 0:57:18the world has ever seen.
0:57:18 > 0:57:21What the Top Gear team did was push it.
0:57:21 > 0:57:23I'm actually on the roof of a moving vehicle.
0:57:23 > 0:57:26They took something ordinary, boring even,
0:57:26 > 0:57:28The Car Show, and pushed it to the limit,
0:57:28 > 0:57:30and way beyond.
0:57:33 > 0:57:35- It worked! - Yes!
0:57:35 > 0:57:37And it wasn't just the three presenters.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39Right, musical chairs. Let it begin.
0:57:39 > 0:57:44It was the army of fixers and wizards who took all of these crazy ideas,
0:57:44 > 0:57:47ambitious, but rubbish, and made them happen.
0:57:47 > 0:57:50Your bottom is touching my sausage.
0:57:50 > 0:57:54What they wanted to do was find the breaking point, the absolute limit,
0:57:54 > 0:57:56and in the end...
0:57:56 > 0:57:57..they found it.
0:57:57 > 0:57:59- The '80s were brilliant. - They were better.
0:57:59 > 0:58:01- Just much better.- Music was better.
0:58:01 > 0:58:03- Yeah, everything was better. - Oh, yeah!
0:58:03 > 0:58:06MUSIC: Do Anything You Want To Do by Eddie & The Hot Rods
0:58:09 > 0:58:11# Do anything you want to do...
0:58:16 > 0:58:18# Do anything you want to do... #