0:00:11 > 0:00:15Tonight - James gets lost in a Lamborghini.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Richard drives over a bridge in a Ferrari.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21And I wear a small hat in an Aston Martin.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Hello! Thank you!
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Thank you very much, thank you.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37We're back! We're back.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42And while we were off air, the three of us had a bit of an argument
0:00:42 > 0:00:47about what would be the best car to take on a Grand Tour of Europe.
0:00:47 > 0:00:52I reckon, and I'm right, it's the Aston Martin DBS Volante.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56Richard says, no, it isn't, it's the Ferrari California,
0:00:56 > 0:00:59and James - who's a bit weird -
0:00:59 > 0:01:02says it's the Lamborghini Gallardo,
0:01:02 > 0:01:05the new one with the 560-horsepower engine.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07- Well, it is.- No, it isn't!
0:01:07 > 0:01:12What that is is a two-seater, mid-engine, 560-horsepower supercar.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15What you want for a Grand Tour is engine at the front, nice comfy suspension,
0:01:15 > 0:01:19- four seats and a boot for all your luggage.- Exactly, like the Aston.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Well, yeah, it's the best.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Apart from the fact that the Ferrari costs £140,000,
0:01:24 > 0:01:28the Lambo £150,000 and the Aston is the best part of £170,000.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- Yes.- And it's the slowest to 60mph.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- Yes.- And it's got the smallest top speed.- Yes. But...
0:01:34 > 0:01:39that's a V8, that's a V10, that's a V12. More is better.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43- LAUGHTER No!- It is.- Isn't.- It is.- It isn't.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45I'll hold my breath.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- LAUGHTER - He is now holding his breath.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Anyway. The producers said that the only real way to sort this out
0:01:51 > 0:01:54was to take these cars on an actual Grand Tour.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58So we thought, "Yes! South of France, or Italy, or the Black Forest."
0:01:58 > 0:02:02But then they said no. They said that we had to take them...
0:02:02 > 0:02:04to Romania.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11This is what springs to mind when we think about Romania.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Not that we do very often.
0:02:13 > 0:02:18We imagine it's full of oxes and people throwing stones at gypsies.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28So you'd imagine that turning up in cars like this
0:02:28 > 0:02:30might look like showing off.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32We did, too.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37Coming here in a car that costs £168,000
0:02:37 > 0:02:42is a bit like turning up in the Sudan in a suit made entirely out of food.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47'But then we arrived in the Black Sea town of Mamaia.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51'And it wasn't really what we were expecting.'
0:02:51 > 0:02:54My God!
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Jag. Porsche. Ferrari. Ferrari.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Audi R8 V10. Another Ferrari.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07If Simon Cowell came here they'd put him on income support.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Look at it!
0:03:08 > 0:03:12That's a 430. That's a 599.
0:03:12 > 0:03:17OK. We're not as conspicuous as I first feared.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21- Have you ever seen the like, Hammond?- No, it's staggering!
0:03:21 > 0:03:24'And then, just when we thought the car park couldn't get any better...'
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Oh my God! That is, isn't it?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29It is a Dacia Sandero.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- That is it.- I think this is the 1.6. - I think it is the 1.6.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36I forgot that this is where the Sandero is from.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I've been thinking about that car for two years.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42'Sadly, before he could think about it any more,
0:03:42 > 0:03:43'a challenge arrived.'
0:03:43 > 0:03:46"You are here to seek out a road
0:03:46 > 0:03:48"built by a former dictator.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52"Officially it's called the Transf... Transfi..."
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- That. Trans...- Transfgs...
0:03:54 > 0:04:00"..Transfagarasan Highway. Unofficially it's known as Ceausescu's Folly.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02"People speak of it in hushed whispers.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06"They say it's the best road in the world."
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- So we're here to look for it. - We've got to find it.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13We decided to look in the mountains,
0:04:13 > 0:04:16which were 300 miles away.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18And on the journey, each of us
0:04:18 > 0:04:21would hope to prove our car was best.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26Yes, if you used facts and figures
0:04:26 > 0:04:30when buying a car, you probably would end up with the Lamborghini or the Ferrari,
0:04:30 > 0:04:34in the same way that if you used facts and figures to buy a house,
0:04:34 > 0:04:36you'd end up in Dunfermline.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Because you get a lot more for your money.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44This is a whole new type of car for Ferrari.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47This is the first with the V8 engine in the front.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49It's the first direct injection engine they've produced,
0:04:49 > 0:04:52it's the first Ferrari with a metal folding roof.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56This is the first time Ferrari have produced a car with a DSG gearbox
0:04:56 > 0:04:59which means you get absolutely seamless gear changes.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04This isn't a Ferrari for the track,
0:05:04 > 0:05:08it's for long journeys exactly like this one.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12'And now James had the chance to explain
0:05:12 > 0:05:17'why he brought a mid-engine two-seater supercar on a Grand Tour.'
0:05:17 > 0:05:20By driving around in a Lamborghini,
0:05:20 > 0:05:23you are actually doing the world a favour.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28Because it's a thing of beauty, other people can look at it and they can enjoy it.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30It's like owning one of Raphael's virgins
0:05:30 > 0:05:33and running around the streets holding it above your head
0:05:33 > 0:05:35rather than just putting it on the wall.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38'So that we could talk to each other on our long journey,
0:05:38 > 0:05:43'we decided to pull over and connect our phones into the cars' Bluetooth systems.
0:05:43 > 0:05:48'In the Aston and the Lamborghini, this was very easy.'
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Bluetooth, on. Press enter to continue.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Bluetooth on the phone.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54'However, in the Ferrari...'
0:05:54 > 0:05:58- ELECTRONIC VOICE:- 'Every new phone must be prepared before it is used.'
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- Yes, preparing my phone. - 'You may have...'- Yes, yes, yes.
0:06:02 > 0:06:07'..so that you can press the phone's button and say "Call Mary" to place a call to Mary.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10'Pressing the VR button while the system is speaking...'
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Please stop!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Synchronising...yes!
0:06:15 > 0:06:18I'm there! I'm connected! I'm Bluetoothed!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Bluetooth switched on. Oh, joy.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- '..Home, work, mobile or pager.' - BEEP
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Work! I'm at work!
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- 'Name, please.'- Richard!
0:06:28 > 0:06:29How does that help?!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- 'Please repeat the name after the beep.' - BEEP
0:06:33 > 0:06:38'With our phones connected - eventually - we put our roofs up,
0:06:38 > 0:06:42'which, without wishing to boast, you can do on the move in the Aston,
0:06:42 > 0:06:45'and then we were ready for a motorway blast to Bucharest.'
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Oh! There's the V12!
0:06:55 > 0:06:58'1, 2, 5, 0, 8...'
0:06:58 > 0:07:01- What?!- '..0, 2, 0, 0, 0,
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- '0, 0, 0, 1, 1, 1...' - CLEAR!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14'Then we did what we weren't supposed to do.'
0:07:14 > 0:07:18In 3, 2, 1, go!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Oh, yeah, this is what we mustn't do.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Ahahaha!
0:07:31 > 0:07:34It just has the legs, that Ferrari.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Just, just, just.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Yeah, this might be a GT car, but it's...
0:07:40 > 0:07:42It's not a slouch.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46Aston Martin has gone to simply enormous lengths
0:07:46 > 0:07:49to make the DBS convertible as light as possible.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51It has a carbon-fibre bonnet,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54carbon-fibre wings, carbon-fibre boot,
0:07:54 > 0:07:56carbon-fibre door-pulls, even.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00They've even made the carpet out of a specially lightweight weave.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03And the results speak for themselves.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07This is by far and away the heaviest car of the three.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Have you noticed something, Hammond?
0:08:12 > 0:08:17- What?- I don't see a black Lamborghini anywhere near us.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20What, you mean the one that is on paper the fastest here?
0:08:21 > 0:08:24'James was merrily tootling along,
0:08:24 > 0:08:28'apparently under the illusion he was presenting his wine programme.'
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Good place to stop for a bag of grapes.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33There's three more people holding up grapes, there's a fourth...
0:08:33 > 0:08:38a fifth, a sixth. I think we're well covered for grapes, there.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42'Meanwhile, Hammond's Ferrari had decided all on its own
0:08:42 > 0:08:44'to make a telephone call.'
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- 'Selected. Calling...Vernon Kay.' - What?! Vernon...?
0:08:47 > 0:08:50- 'Is this correct?' - Why are you calling Vernon Kay?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52PHONE RINGS Why are you doing that?
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- 'Hello?'- Vernon?
0:08:54 > 0:08:58- 'Hi?'- Hello, mate, it's Richard Hammond.
0:08:58 > 0:09:03'For miles, our convoy ruled the road. But then...'
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Oh, my God! Look out!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09What's that?! Wha..?
0:09:09 > 0:09:11That's the Dacia Sandero.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14I'm going to see if I can hold on to the back of it.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18The 1.2 16-valve - that thing can shift!
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Come on! Keep up with the Sandero!
0:09:22 > 0:09:26'Hammond's Ferrari might have got it, but unfortunately...'
0:09:26 > 0:09:28PHONE RINGS Why are you doing that now?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Why are you calling Vernon Kay again?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- 'Hi, Richard!'- Vernon!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Er, it's Richard Hammond. Again.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Er...I'm really sorry.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41'No, it's fine. I'm just in the studio, everyone's stopped work...'
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Good. Good.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Um...
0:09:48 > 0:09:51'While refuelling on the outskirts of Bucharest,
0:09:51 > 0:09:53'James and Richard bought me a present.'
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- Great(!)- What now?
0:09:55 > 0:09:57My life is complete, that's what.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Very big round here, apparently.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02'And then James thought of a new game.'
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Why don't we have a sat-nav challenge?
0:10:04 > 0:10:08Because mine is a German one and will be superior.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- It's Audi, isn't it?- It is.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Good idea. We can start here.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Ready steady go, set your sat-nav for the People's Palace.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20I know it exists. First to get to the People's Palace is the winner.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- Are you ready?- Yes.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Steady?- Yes.- Go!
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Now, I should explain before we start, I have a Volvo system.
0:10:28 > 0:10:33Unanimously, everybody agrees it's the worst sat-nav in the world.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Rise! Rise!
0:10:37 > 0:10:43'Mercifully, in the California, the sat-nav system was much better than the Bluetooth.'
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Nearby point of interest, that's the first order of business.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50'Whereas in the Lambo, James was regretting his new game.'
0:10:50 > 0:10:54Country. I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q...
0:10:54 > 0:10:58It goes from Portugal to Sam... How can it not have...?
0:10:59 > 0:11:04The Italians don't acknowledge the existence of Romania.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- 1-1-7.- 1-1...
0:11:07 > 0:11:10No, no, no. 1 to 42, that is all.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Right, I've got it.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15HE CACKLES
0:11:15 > 0:11:17No! No, no!
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Er, People's Palace?
0:11:19 > 0:11:20People?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Not the best present I've ever had, if I'm honest,
0:11:25 > 0:11:27but it's tactless to just ignore them.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- 'Please follow the road.'- Yes.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34I will gladly follow the road, for...7.3 kms.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Technology and I are now getting on absolutely fine.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40'Calling Stephen Accountant.'
0:11:40 > 0:11:42No, no, no, don't do that.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Go to the roundabout here.- Yep.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49- And here...- Here in sub...- No.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52One of the most irritating things about the Volvo system
0:11:52 > 0:11:56that Aston use, is that it tells you where you've been.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Which is only of any use if you think your wife's having an affair.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02James was now on the move,
0:12:02 > 0:12:06but obviously his map had been drawn by a distant relative.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09When he said roundabout, did he mean roundabout?
0:12:09 > 0:12:10Or did he mean crossroads?
0:12:10 > 0:12:15Fortunately, the producers had given me a Romanian phrasebook.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Unfortunately, it was a bit confusing.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21HE TALKS IN ROMANIAN
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Meanwhile, less than a mile from the People's Palace
0:12:33 > 0:12:35the sat-nav race was hotting up.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Hammond! Get him!
0:12:37 > 0:12:39What's he doing here?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Come on!
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I'm winning by 1.5 metres.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47I found it first.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- No, I found it with my eyes. - No, you didn't. I found it first.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53HE SPEAKS ROMANIAN
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Hammond and I, meanwhile, were still racing.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03This...
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Ha-ha-ha!
0:13:05 > 0:13:09But when we saw the People's Palace, we sort of stopped.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Today it's the Romanian parliament building.
0:13:15 > 0:13:21But it was once the private house of notorious dictator Nicolae Ceausescu.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24If that's his idea of a house,
0:13:24 > 0:13:28what's his idea of a road gonna be like?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30You know that is the heaviest building in the world?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32That's what you'd build, isn't it?
0:13:32 > 0:13:35It is. A million cubic metres of marble in there.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38- Ceausescu was a mental, wasn't he? - Complete mental.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40And an unpleasant mental.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44He had people go ahead of him and paint the leaves green, wherever he went.
0:13:44 > 0:13:49As we waited, James had become really lost.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51MUSIC: "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" by Edith Piaf
0:13:55 > 0:13:57It is the Arc de Triomphe. It's...
0:13:57 > 0:14:00priorite a droite.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04That's it.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07While we waited we were informed
0:14:07 > 0:14:10we might get a visit from a local dignitary.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15The Secretary General of the Chamber of Deputies.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19- Jeremy, you are familiar with the local customs, aren't you?- What?
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Penis out. When she stands to shake hands, you just plop it in.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25And that's what you do. That's how it works.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Hello, sir.- Hello.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Do you remember in 2009 they used to make that? What was it called?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- It was a Lam...Lam...- Lamborghini.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Behold the People's Palace.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47- James, you lost that one. - Quite badly.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54While waiting for James the local dignitary had given us permission
0:14:54 > 0:14:59to drive in the network of tunnels underneath the government building.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04This, we feel, is not something that would be allowed in Britain.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Start the music!
0:15:14 > 0:15:15Wa-ha!
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Oh, yeah!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Jeez, there's a corner there!
0:15:27 > 0:15:29ENGINES ROAR
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Dust. Dust!
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Can't see a thing!
0:15:39 > 0:15:44We then decided to bring a bit of science to the party.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45ENGINE REVS
0:15:47 > 0:15:49That is a decibel-o-meter
0:15:49 > 0:15:54- and I'm going to see how loud the Ferrari is. Ready?- Mm-hm.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Not too bad, 70...82.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Yeow.
0:16:08 > 0:16:13- 89?- 89.- I saw an 89 average. - I saw 89.- 89, yeah.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- What a lot of dust, jeez. - It's quite dusty down there.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16This is our best game yet.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20All you need to play this game, in case you're interested at home,
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- is a People's Palace, with a tunnel underneath it.- Yeah.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- Three supercars and a cheap app and you're there!- You're there!
0:16:29 > 0:16:33It turned out that all three cars were equally loud.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39So, we abandoned the science and went to the pub.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45Where we were just in time to catch the local version of Top Gear.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46SPEAKS IN ROMANIAN
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I just wish that girl would get out the way,
0:16:51 > 0:16:53so we could see the car more!
0:16:54 > 0:16:57I bet that would sound good in the tunnels.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59What a magnificent thing.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:07 > 0:17:10We'll pick that, er, we'll pick that up later on.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15But now it is time to do the news.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17And we begin with a story from Australia, in fact.
0:17:17 > 0:17:22Er, Australian authorities are really going to get tough on
0:17:22 > 0:17:25boozed up fans at the Bathurst Motor Race.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Well, I say motor race, it's actually a fight
0:17:27 > 0:17:32between rival gangs of Ford supporters and GM supporters.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34OK, now the way they've cracked this, is they say
0:17:34 > 0:17:40each fan is going to be limited to just 24 cans of lager each per day.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44- Just 24?- 24 a day, no more than that.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Australians, don't think you can get round this by switching to wine,
0:17:47 > 0:17:51because that's limited as well, to four litres a day.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Do you know what they're doing, to get round it?
0:17:55 > 0:17:56- What, Australians?- Yeah.
0:17:56 > 0:18:01Australians are going there two weeks before the race and burying beer.
0:18:01 > 0:18:06- We have an Australian guest on later. I'm going to talk to him about this. I'm fascinated.- Yes.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- Now.- We must move on.- We must.
0:18:08 > 0:18:13McLaren have a announced a new supercar, here it is. It's called the MP4-12C.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17Mmmm. That'll sound good with adenoids.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- WITH ACCENT:- "Wanna come for a ride in my MP4 dash 12C?"
0:18:20 > 0:18:22No, I don't, it sounds like a telephone.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25However, interesting thing about this car particularly
0:18:25 > 0:18:28is the previous McLaren supercars, the F1 and the Merc SLR,
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- were very, very expensive.- Mmm.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33This - £170,000.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35- Oh, cheap. - Oh, that's all right then.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- As I said that I realised... - I know what you mean it's cheap-er.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- Absolutely.- It's same... - Half the price of the SLR.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43This is the first time they've put their own engine into it,
0:18:43 > 0:18:473.8 litre twin turbo V8, so there's a lot of exciting things about it.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49I hope that works. McLaren have had a rotten week.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52All their vehicles have been recalled, cos they've been amputating limbs.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- No that's not... no, yeah.- What?
0:18:55 > 0:19:00It's not the vehicles, mate, it's the prams, the pushchairs, Maclaren buggies.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Oh! I thought Rowan Atkinson had had his arm cut off by his car.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06- No.- It's Maclaren prams?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- Yes, the buggies, the pushchairs. - Oh, God!
0:19:08 > 0:19:13Interesting thing about this story is it's come about because of 12 cases in the States
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- of children having their fingers amputated.- Mm.- As a result,
0:19:16 > 0:19:19they've recalled all the pushchairs.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21But the pushchairs are the same all over the world
0:19:21 > 0:19:24and it's only in the States they're recalling them. Not here.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27No, there's a very good reason for that though.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31British parents are more... What's the word I'm looking for?
0:19:31 > 0:19:34- Intelligent.- Yes!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37- Cos how could you...?- Hey!
0:19:37 > 0:19:40US ACCENT: I can't shut this buggy down, there's these pink things in the way.
0:19:40 > 0:19:45- US ACCENT:- I've got the kid screaming his head off! Shut-up, Junior.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- That's got it!- Stop yelling.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49It's...there you go.
0:19:49 > 0:19:55Now, do you want to combine your love of camping, with your love of buying the wrong Porsche?
0:19:56 > 0:19:58No, because I have good news, OK?
0:19:58 > 0:20:03Because you can now buy, um, well, it's a new type of Boxster, OK?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05With a tent on the top of it. Here it is.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Look at that roof!
0:20:07 > 0:20:10It looks like a tramp's hat.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15It's called the Boxster Spyder and it's a super lightweight version.
0:20:15 > 0:20:20It only weighs 1,250 kilos, top speed 166mph, 0-60 in 4.8 seconds.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23And it's that fast because it's got a very clever gearbox.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26It's called a... it's... Well, it's...
0:20:26 > 0:20:27- Is it German?- It's a German name.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29- Oh!- And it's complicated.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Let me just spell this out - it's a D-O-P-P-E-L
0:20:33 > 0:20:37K-U-P-P-L
0:20:37 > 0:20:39U-N-G
0:20:39 > 0:20:44S-G-E-T...
0:20:45 > 0:20:46R...
0:20:47 > 0:20:48I-E...
0:20:49 > 0:20:51B...
0:20:51 > 0:20:52E.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54That's what it is...I...
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Can we? Get it on the screen.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Are there any Germans here?
0:20:58 > 0:21:00- That's a long word!- That is a...
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- Do you know what that means? You speak German.- I do.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05What's the only German you can say?
0:21:05 > 0:21:09- Ja, natuerlich ist Hans nass, er steht unter dem Wasserfall. - What's that mean?
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Naturally Hans is wet, he's standing under a waterfall.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15- OK.- I use it all the time.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19That's kind of a one-shot deal, isn't it?
0:21:19 > 0:21:23Er, anyway, if you want the wrong car, which has no door handles,
0:21:23 > 0:21:27and no air conditioning and no radio and has a tent on the top of it,
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- then there you are, the Boxster double line.- Spyder.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33It's not got all those things to keep it light cos it's still £44,000.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36£44,000, you don't even get door handles.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38We've been sent this.
0:21:38 > 0:21:44It's an eco-friendly, portable, disposable, cardboard lavatory,
0:21:44 > 0:21:46for use by the side of the road.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49The idea is you're driving along, you get caught a bit short,
0:21:49 > 0:21:52can't find the nearest karzy, you pop this out, erect it
0:21:52 > 0:21:53and do what you have to do.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- Are you about to tell us you have been caught short?- No.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- Cos I don't think you should. - No, I was going to say,
0:21:59 > 0:22:01we should give this a fair test on Top Gear
0:22:01 > 0:22:05by giving it to the world's most practical man, Clarkson.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- What you want me to build it?- I do.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Oh, God, I hate this sort of thing.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Where's the instructions?
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Have you ever noticed,
0:22:13 > 0:22:17watching him do anything practical, it's like watching an orangutan?
0:22:18 > 0:22:19It is! Look at his face.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23- Honestly, look at his face, it goes all...- It's very long. - He's happy, but confused.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28They actually put a picture of Jeremy on the bag, look,
0:22:28 > 0:22:29showing you how to assemble it.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31These instructions, look!
0:22:31 > 0:22:36They bear no relation, as always, to the thing they're supplied with.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38See, he's doing the ape thing.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40And bear in mind, you have to erect this...
0:22:40 > 0:22:43while basically desperate for a number two, with...
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- I was going to say... - With lorries going by.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Could you erect this while you were touching cloth? You can?
0:22:50 > 0:22:51See if you can get that erected.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55I'm prepared to bet that question has never been asked on any other car show.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59- She's good.- How've you done that?
0:22:59 > 0:23:01She's bloody done it, look.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03That was it.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05How did you do that?
0:23:05 > 0:23:06Look she's made a lavatory.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08CHEERING
0:23:10 > 0:23:11You did what?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I'm female.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16You're a...she's a female.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21So, you just put that up at the side of the road and then...
0:23:21 > 0:23:23There's no need to demonstrate!
0:23:29 > 0:23:31How did you think that was going to go?
0:23:31 > 0:23:34How did you think that was going to work?
0:23:34 > 0:23:36You great dumb ape.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40Do you know what, honestly? I'd rather just crap myself.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I think I just did!
0:23:45 > 0:23:46Can we move on?
0:23:46 > 0:23:49- I'm not the world's most unpractical man.- You are.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I am, actually. You're right.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55- Anyway, we've got to get on. - Yes, anyway, we've had a letter.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57It's literally from some bankers and it says,
0:23:57 > 0:24:02"Dear Top Gear, this time last year we didn't have any money,
0:24:02 > 0:24:04"but the Government has given us some now.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07"However, we don't want the public to know that we're loaded again,
0:24:07 > 0:24:11"so we need really fast, expensive cars that are quite discreet.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14"Can you help? Yours sincerely, some bankers."
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Well, as it happens, yes, we can help.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24And we begin with something from BMW.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33This here is the BMW 760Li.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Or to give it it's other name - the BMW Move Over Poor Person.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Because this is the biggest, most expensive
0:24:40 > 0:24:43and most powerful car BMW makes.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48It has a six litre V12,
0:24:48 > 0:24:50which sounds like plenty.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54But, obviously, someone at BMW thought, "No."
0:24:54 > 0:24:59So, for a bit of extra "schnell", this car has got two turbo chargers.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04The result is 544 BHP.
0:25:04 > 0:25:11And the power station under the bonnet is connected to a brand-new eight-speed gearbox.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Put all that together and even someone as laid back as me can quite easily,
0:25:15 > 0:25:18look, get a bit of a lick on.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26It'll batter most 911's in a sprint to 60,
0:25:26 > 0:25:30and de-limited, it would hit 188 miles per hour.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35But those numbers only tell half the story.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39This is a bizarre kind of fast.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43It's quiet and relaxed and smooth.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46It's like swimming over a waterfall of double cream.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52A luxurious waterfall, too.
0:25:52 > 0:25:59The 760 has seats that massage you, and an SAS spec night-vision system.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03And here's a clever thing.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07Pulling up to this junction, the view is quite obstructed,
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I can't really see what's coming.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12But if I press this button, there are little cameras mounted on the wings
0:26:12 > 0:26:15that give you eyes on the side of your head. It's like being a rabbit.
0:26:16 > 0:26:21And the price? A smudge under £100,000.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24If you have that sort of money to spend on a car,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27there's a good chance you'll want to pay someone to drive it for you.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30So that's exactly what I've done, I've got myself a chauffeur.
0:26:30 > 0:26:35He's in a bit of a bad mood to be honest, because I've told him this is my test.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38It's not about tyre smoke and going sideways.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Dignified driving is what I want.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46This version of the seven series is only available as a long wheelbase model,
0:26:46 > 0:26:49which means you get an extra five inches of leg room in the back.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Doesn't sound like much, but it makes a world of difference.
0:26:52 > 0:26:53And I can watch the TV.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56I've got something on here, it's interesting, it's about antiques...
0:26:56 > 0:26:57LOUD BANG
0:26:59 > 0:27:01What are you doing, man?
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Bloody hell!
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Oh, God, I see the problem. The Mercedes S63 has turned up,
0:27:10 > 0:27:13that's the other car I was going to test,
0:27:13 > 0:27:16and that sort of puts Stigs on heat.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23That S-class is actually the AMG tuned version.
0:27:23 > 0:27:28Apparently it's a bit of a rocket ship, I can see why Stig's got the red mist.
0:27:28 > 0:27:33Luckily, Stig's a bit too stupid to work out where all the driver aids are on this.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37Oh no, he's found it.
0:27:37 > 0:27:41Stig has put the dynamic driving control into sport plus,
0:27:41 > 0:27:44that sharpens up throttle response and gear changes!
0:27:47 > 0:27:48Bloody Nora.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56God, he's switched the stability control off altogether...
0:27:59 > 0:28:03That locks up the rear differential for extra....ow! Hooligan!
0:28:12 > 0:28:18So, the Mercedes. The most powerful non-turbo V8 car in the world.
0:28:18 > 0:28:22It costs the same as the BMW, it comes only in business class,
0:28:22 > 0:28:24long wheelbase form, like the BMW,
0:28:24 > 0:28:29and like the BMW, it's dripping with technology.
0:28:29 > 0:28:34Even the interior lighting has three different colour settings.
0:28:34 > 0:28:39In fact, there's such a bewildering array of gizmos on both cars,
0:28:39 > 0:28:42that it's almost impossible to choose between them.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51We're going to make it easier with a game of Top Trumps.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Here's my opponent, the Stig.
0:28:53 > 0:28:57It's like normal Top Trumps, except all of Stiggy's cards are the BMW,
0:28:57 > 0:29:00and all of mine are the Mercedes. Ready?
0:29:01 > 0:29:06OK, TV screens. Mercedes has TV in the front.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10BMW...I know the answer to this, it's got two, isn't it?
0:29:10 > 0:29:15Front and rear, so you win that pair.
0:29:17 > 0:29:19Climate control. Mercedes - two zone.
0:29:19 > 0:29:24And the BMW, we know, has four zone climate control,
0:29:24 > 0:29:26so you win that pair.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28It's not difficult.
0:29:28 > 0:29:33Seat massage system. Mercedes - front and rear seat massage.
0:29:34 > 0:29:41And the BMW, massage seat only in the front, so I win that pair.
0:29:41 > 0:29:42Right, BHP...
0:29:48 > 0:29:50OK, that's not working,
0:29:50 > 0:29:54so let's go back to the traditional, philistine Top Gear method.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56A drag race.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59I went in the Mercedes with Stig at the wheel.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01I think I'll have "Firm massage" for this.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10The BMW quickly took the lead.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13And stayed there till the end.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17That made Stig so angry he went home.
0:30:20 > 0:30:26So, the S-class. When you drive it, you realise it's got much more of a split personality than the BMW.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31On the one hand, it has lots of very civilising features,
0:30:31 > 0:30:33it has active body control,
0:30:33 > 0:30:38and it's so clever it can detect a cross-wind and compensate for it.
0:30:38 > 0:30:42It even has a drowsiness sensor to prevent you from nodding off.
0:30:44 > 0:30:50But put your foot down and suddenly it erupts with typical AMG volcanic storm and fury.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57And here's something that really baffles me.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00On the dashboard I have a race timer
0:31:00 > 0:31:03that allows you to record your lap times. But why?
0:31:03 > 0:31:08I mean, in a 911 GT3, yes. But who's that for?
0:31:08 > 0:31:10Sir Alan Sugar on a track day?
0:31:11 > 0:31:14And that's the problem with the Mercedes,
0:31:14 > 0:31:16it has a strangely confused personality.
0:31:16 > 0:31:20And for that reason, Mercedes S63 AMG...
0:31:22 > 0:31:23..you're fired.
0:31:25 > 0:31:29APPLAUSE
0:31:30 > 0:31:33So, let's just get this straight.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35Quite wrongly, you prefer the BMW.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38No, I think they're both completely pointless.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Couldn't agree with you more. They are absolutely pointless.
0:31:41 > 0:31:47And now, I'm afraid, we must dive even more deeply into the murky waters of their irrelevance
0:31:47 > 0:31:51by handing them over to our tame racing driver.
0:31:51 > 0:31:56Some say, that in the autumn, all his arms go brown and fall off.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58LAUGHTER
0:31:58 > 0:32:00And that if he wrote you a letter of condolence,
0:32:00 > 0:32:02he would at least get your name right.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04LAUGHTER
0:32:04 > 0:32:08- All we know is, he's called the Stog.- You mean the Stig.
0:32:08 > 0:32:12That's what I said. I said it!
0:32:12 > 0:32:15And they're off! It is very wet out there,
0:32:15 > 0:32:19tiny wiggle of the hips from the BMW as the turbos spool up.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Here's something not very interesting,
0:32:21 > 0:32:24that 760 has BMW's first petrol V12 with two turbos.
0:32:24 > 0:32:29That is much more interesting there, he's going very sideways!
0:32:29 > 0:32:32MUSIC: "Rabbit" By Chas And Dave
0:32:33 > 0:32:36I should say the Stig is deeply saddened
0:32:36 > 0:32:38that Chas and Dave have split up.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40This is his way of getting through the pain.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42That BMW is very sideways there,
0:32:42 > 0:32:44coming up to the hammerhead
0:32:44 > 0:32:48we're expecting understeer here from these two-tonne barges.
0:32:48 > 0:32:53And, yep, the seven series is ploughing wide, but more composed.
0:32:53 > 0:32:57I suspect because the traction control can't be fully switched off.
0:32:57 > 0:33:01Here we are, follow-through. It really is wet out there.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Stig would be better off in an actual barge, I think.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Quick through the tyres,
0:33:07 > 0:33:10look up "brave" in the dictionary it says "See The Stig".
0:33:10 > 0:33:11Two corners left.
0:33:11 > 0:33:12BMW's all over the shop.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14That let the S-class ahead,
0:33:14 > 0:33:17but they're evenly matched coming through Gambon!
0:33:17 > 0:33:18Across the line!
0:33:18 > 0:33:20APPLAUSE
0:33:20 > 0:33:22- Does it go here?- No, it doesn't.
0:33:24 > 0:33:25- Does it go here?- No, it doesn't.
0:33:27 > 0:33:31- Go on then.- Right, the Mercedes S63 did it there in 1.32.1.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33The BMW did it in...
0:33:33 > 0:33:361.31.2
0:33:36 > 0:33:39There we are. If you are a banker
0:33:39 > 0:33:42and you like to get anywhere in a big hurry, go for the BMW.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Consumer advice for you there.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48Now, it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
0:33:48 > 0:33:53My guest tonight, it seems, always wanted to be a racing driver,
0:33:53 > 0:33:56but then he accidentally ended up being in films like
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Star Trek, Finding Nemo,
0:33:58 > 0:34:03Blackhawk Down, Troy, and so on and so forth.
0:34:03 > 0:34:06So, here to find out what on earth went wrong,
0:34:06 > 0:34:10from somewhere called Australia, ladies and gentlemen, Eric Bana!
0:34:10 > 0:34:13APPLAUSE
0:34:14 > 0:34:15Good to see you, how are you?
0:34:15 > 0:34:17- Very well, very well.- Have a seat.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22A proper superstar is here!
0:34:22 > 0:34:24What's in there?
0:34:24 > 0:34:26There?
0:34:26 > 0:34:30- It's water, it's OK, it won't have anything dangerous in it. - Yeah, just water.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32This Bathurst Motor Race we were talking about,
0:34:32 > 0:34:34have you heard about the beer thing?
0:34:34 > 0:34:39They're limiting the amount of beer each fan can take to 24 cans a day.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41That's a serious restriction.
0:34:41 > 0:34:43LAUGHTER
0:34:43 > 0:34:46That's practically tee-totalling, isn't it?
0:34:46 > 0:34:49This rivalry between Ford and GM,
0:34:49 > 0:34:52it's ingrained from birth, isn't it, in all Australians?
0:34:52 > 0:34:55It's pretty deep-seated.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58They were the two main manufacturers, if you're my age, when you were growing up.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01It was, you know, the General Motors product
0:35:01 > 0:35:04which was Holden, Commodores and Toranas
0:35:04 > 0:35:05and for me it was Falcons.
0:35:05 > 0:35:09I said to the two guys, the two Aussies who are here in the audience somewhere,
0:35:09 > 0:35:13I said "Eric Bana's coming on," they went "Ah, Ford bloke."
0:35:13 > 0:35:15That was it. You're a Ford bloke so you're no good.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17You're a Ford bloke, they're Holden blokes.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19- Completely discounted me, huh? - Yeah, exactly.
0:35:19 > 0:35:25It seems to me that Bathurst combines everything, really, that you need in Australia.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28Outside cooking, obviously. Drinking and sport.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31This sport thing, it's weird, cos you're no good at it.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34Oh, really?
0:35:34 > 0:35:37Really? Cite a couple of examples.
0:35:37 > 0:35:38The Ashes.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40The most recent one, the most recent one.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43- Rugby, the other day? - Didn't we beat you last week?
0:35:43 > 0:35:47- We weren't playing! It was Jonny Wilkinson and some lawyers.- Mm.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49LAUGHTER
0:35:49 > 0:35:51I want to get on to the car thing,
0:35:51 > 0:35:55cos let's be honest, this proper love that you have,
0:35:55 > 0:35:58you are now a bona fide Australian racing driver.
0:35:58 > 0:36:02I just have a bit of fun in the Australian GT series,
0:36:02 > 0:36:07which is like your version of, it'd be FAA, GT3 racing,
0:36:07 > 0:36:10so I'm in a Porsche cup car, 911.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13But you're pretty good, it's not like you're some actor who's...
0:36:13 > 0:36:15I don't know. I enjoy it and I'd never stop doing it,
0:36:15 > 0:36:19I'm just, you know, I'm obsessed.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22Do you say "I'm not gonna do that film because I wanna do that race?"
0:36:22 > 0:36:24Is this on in America?
0:36:24 > 0:36:27America is the only country in the world this isn't shown.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29Of course I've done that! Are you kidding me!
0:36:29 > 0:36:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:36:31 > 0:36:33Good man!
0:36:33 > 0:36:37- Everywhere else in the world will hear that, but not America. - They'll never find out.
0:36:37 > 0:36:41If I could just say, you've been in some massive films,
0:36:41 > 0:36:46but the one that seems to me to be closest to your heart is the one you've just brought out now,
0:36:46 > 0:36:48which is Love The Beast.
0:36:48 > 0:36:49- Love The Beast. - Tell me about that,
0:36:49 > 0:36:53because it's a very small film compared to, let's say, Troy.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56It's a documentary I directed.
0:36:56 > 0:37:01I, one day, was looking at my beast, which is my Ford Falcon coupe.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03I've had this car since I was 15.
0:37:03 > 0:37:10And I thought this actually isn't a car, it's some kind of a personal possession
0:37:10 > 0:37:14that gets carted around through all kinds of different circumstances.
0:37:14 > 0:37:19I started thinking more and more about that, and how cars, objects in particular, cars,
0:37:19 > 0:37:22I feel, can transcend themselves to become something else.
0:37:22 > 0:37:26- I feel very deeply about it. - I couldn't agree more.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29- Right.- I really do believe that cars take on a personality.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31Not all cars, but some do.
0:37:31 > 0:37:35So this film is about your relationship with this car?
0:37:35 > 0:37:40Yeah, and then I was competing in Targa Tasmania that year,
0:37:40 > 0:37:44so I thought well, we'll just make the rally a bit of an action backdrop to this story
0:37:44 > 0:37:49- about a guy having a car for his whole life. - Having a relationship with a car.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52- Yeah.- OK, we have a clip here which I'd like to show everyone.
0:37:52 > 0:37:553..2..1..go!
0:38:00 > 0:38:01Then a five left.
0:38:04 > 0:38:05It's slippery apparently.
0:38:05 > 0:38:09I feel like I'm breaking in a horse. I feel like both horses are learning, me and the car.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Take the left, we need to stay on.
0:38:11 > 0:38:15Six left, one-two right, 100.
0:38:15 > 0:38:16Car up here.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22Jeez!
0:38:22 > 0:38:25- APPLAUSE - That hurt?
0:38:25 > 0:38:26Um...
0:38:27 > 0:38:33I think what hurt the most was just knowing it was gonna happen, you know, before it happened.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36I could have told you that, if you've got a muscle car,
0:38:36 > 0:38:39you go round a corner, you're gonna hit a tree.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Now, obviously, you didn't come thousands of miles
0:38:42 > 0:38:44to just sit and talk about this.
0:38:44 > 0:38:48You came to have a go out there in the reasonably priced car.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50So, how was it?
0:38:50 > 0:38:53It was slippery, but it was a lot of fun.
0:38:53 > 0:38:57It's been a while since I've driven such a reasonably priced car.
0:38:57 > 0:38:58LAUGHTER
0:38:58 > 0:39:01Who would like to see Eric's lap?
0:39:01 > 0:39:02ALL: Yes!
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Let's have a look!
0:39:04 > 0:39:06TYRES SKID
0:39:06 > 0:39:07That is slippery.
0:39:07 > 0:39:12I'll never play Test cricket, but I'll drive the Top Gear track!
0:39:12 > 0:39:13LAUGHTER
0:39:13 > 0:39:15First corner, now...
0:39:15 > 0:39:20Oooh, you see, there's somebody who knows how to drive, look at that!
0:39:20 > 0:39:24Feel the grip from the reasonably priced Lacetti now.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26Get over!
0:39:27 > 0:39:30Were you really putting your heart and soul into this?
0:39:30 > 0:39:34- Yes, you were!- I'm not even going to pretend I don't care what my lap time is.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36Get out of the way, birds!
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Look, non-dangerous birds.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Not like those ones that burst on your windscreen,
0:39:41 > 0:39:44showering you in worms which is what happens in Australia.
0:39:44 > 0:39:48- Ooh, bit of understeer there. - Lots of understeer there.
0:39:50 > 0:39:53- Time to put it away.- Ah, these slots!- Gearbox, sorry about that.
0:39:53 > 0:39:54Hasn't mended.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58- I may need to ask you, flat through there?- Flat.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01And flat through the tyres, I'm guessing.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Yep, that looks pretty flat to me.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05Second to last corner, this is the tricky one.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08I don't think I ever got this one right.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Let's have a look. You've got to cut it a bit, yes. Perfect.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Now, just Gambon.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15Ooh, that's quite legal, most people cheat.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17There we are, across the line!
0:40:17 > 0:40:19APPLAUSE
0:40:19 > 0:40:22Aha!
0:40:22 > 0:40:28Now, bearing in mind that that was a wet lap...
0:40:28 > 0:40:33It was very slippery. I was waiting for it to dry out, but...
0:40:33 > 0:40:34All right! Enough excuses!
0:40:34 > 0:40:37It's a wet lap. You were being a racing driver there.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40I'm looking for the fastest ever wet lap,
0:40:40 > 0:40:44which I think is Jamie Oliver on 147.7.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46I'm in two minds, I'd like to beat him.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48But my wife loves him.
0:40:48 > 0:40:49LAUGHTER
0:40:49 > 0:40:54Eric Bana, you did it in 1...
0:40:55 > 0:40:56..40...
0:40:58 > 0:41:00- ..7... - GASPING
0:41:00 > 0:41:02..five.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04There you go, mate! You did it!
0:41:06 > 0:41:13- That is the fastest wet lap... - Whooo!- ..we've ever had.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15The fastest.
0:41:16 > 0:41:21You are 0.2 of a second faster than a chef.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23LAUGHTER
0:41:23 > 0:41:28- But you are the fastest Australian. - Is there a wet track Ashes I can take back to Australia?
0:41:28 > 0:41:33Tell you what, we'll burn the car and put it in a little thing,
0:41:33 > 0:41:37- you can take it back and Australia can have some ashes.- All right.
0:41:37 > 0:41:40- Ladies and gentlemen, Eric Bana! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:46 > 0:41:50Now, tonight we're in Romania,
0:41:50 > 0:41:53looking for the best road in the world.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56We're driving an Aston Martin, a Ferrari and a Lamborghini
0:41:56 > 0:41:59and so far we'd each decided that our car was the best.
0:41:59 > 0:42:04James had got lost, and we'd ended up by mistake in Bucharest.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17We left Bucharest the next morning and headed west,
0:42:17 > 0:42:23still full of wonderment for this amazing country and our cars.
0:42:24 > 0:42:29This car is actually filling me with a sort of primordial lust.
0:42:29 > 0:42:33It actually tingles down in my bowels. It's sinful.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37I cannot tell you how joyful it is
0:42:37 > 0:42:42to drive a V12 sports car with a proper manual gearbox.
0:42:45 > 0:42:48Manual gearbox, really, in a GT car?
0:42:48 > 0:42:51You want that? It's about making your life easier.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53Fast, but easier and more comfortable.
0:42:53 > 0:42:58If you're gonna go GTing, Ferrari, surely?
0:43:02 > 0:43:04Then disaster.
0:43:04 > 0:43:08Romania only has 143 miles of motorway
0:43:08 > 0:43:12and by 11am we'd used every one of them.
0:43:12 > 0:43:13Ah, James, policemen.
0:43:13 > 0:43:17Many, many traditions and rituals surrounding policemen.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21Amongst them, if he has a gun, you must go and unbutton him,
0:43:21 > 0:43:23just because that says I trust you with your weapon.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26Go and unbutton one.
0:43:26 > 0:43:27Righto.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30No, just knock his hat off, James. They think it's funny.
0:43:30 > 0:43:34They often express their humour here with gunfire.
0:43:34 > 0:43:35Ha ha ha!
0:43:35 > 0:43:40We then told James we were stopping to put our wind deflectors up.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43But in fact, the real reason we stopped here
0:43:43 > 0:43:46is so that I could give him a surprise present.
0:43:47 > 0:43:49Oh, God!
0:43:49 > 0:43:51Is it an ox?
0:43:51 > 0:43:53- Is it a gypsy? A big one?- Nope.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55It's over there.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58What, some wood?
0:43:58 > 0:44:00In front of the wood.
0:44:00 > 0:44:02No!
0:44:02 > 0:44:03Yep, seriously.
0:44:03 > 0:44:06I have bought you, it's second hand,
0:44:06 > 0:44:09but I have bought you a Dacia Sandero.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11- Really?- Yes.
0:44:11 > 0:44:12- Oh, mate!- That's my Dacia Sandero?
0:44:12 > 0:44:15No piano's going to land on it, it's not a Morris Marina.
0:44:15 > 0:44:18- I'm quite touched.- That's fantastic!
0:44:18 > 0:44:22- Can I drive it?- You go and drive it while we're putting these on.- OK.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25He's genuinely chuffed to bits!
0:44:25 > 0:44:29For two years, I've been dreaming about this car,
0:44:29 > 0:44:32and now I was actually driving it.
0:44:32 > 0:44:35The Lamborghini is all very well,
0:44:35 > 0:44:40that's like the ultimate expression of what a car can be, but this is the essence of a car.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43All the bits you need, nothing more. No flim-flam.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45This is a bit of a faff, isn't it?
0:44:45 > 0:44:50Ah! A cool, refreshing, communist water.
0:44:50 > 0:44:52Jesus!
0:44:53 > 0:44:56I could buy that for Hammond, that could be his present.
0:44:57 > 0:45:00- Listen to this! - ENGINE DROPS
0:45:01 > 0:45:05Nice throaty little warble from the engine. It's a happy car.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08Dacia Sandero. That is an excellent present.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10I don't know what he was thinking of there,
0:45:10 > 0:45:13cos his presents are supposed to be irritating,
0:45:13 > 0:45:14but that's not irritating.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16That's superb!
0:45:16 > 0:45:18Could you see anything in your screen?
0:45:18 > 0:45:20- Nothing.- When the roof's down?
0:45:20 > 0:45:24- As soon as the roof's down, the slightest hint of sun, it's gone. - You're back!
0:45:24 > 0:45:26- Ya.- How is it?- And?
0:45:26 > 0:45:28Good fun, basic, small, sporty.
0:45:28 > 0:45:32But you haven't got the little side joke, have you?
0:45:32 > 0:45:35- What?- Well, you can't take it back hand luggage.- I'll drive it back.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38- All the way?- Yeah. - It took 2½ days to get here...
0:45:38 > 0:45:41No!
0:45:41 > 0:45:42Stop!
0:45:43 > 0:45:45Stop!
0:45:45 > 0:45:48- My car's parked there. - MAN SPEAKS ROMANIAN
0:45:48 > 0:45:50You're supposed to look. Look! Mirrors!
0:45:50 > 0:45:53HE SPEAKS ROMANIAN
0:45:53 > 0:45:56My arse! You just backed straight into it, man!
0:45:56 > 0:45:58Why did you leave it parked behind a lorry?
0:45:58 > 0:46:00I didn't know there was anybody in it.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03I was leaving it out of shot.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05- I've only had it about half an hour. - Yeah.
0:46:05 > 0:46:09I think he was saying in Hungarian, or whatever it is,
0:46:09 > 0:46:11it's my fault for parking the car.
0:46:11 > 0:46:13- Well...- Probably was. - It sort of is.
0:46:14 > 0:46:18- Jeez!- Oh-wo-ho! Ho-ho.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20Oh, well.
0:46:20 > 0:46:25- You'd have used it for work and everything, wouldn't you? - Why don't you go away?
0:46:25 > 0:46:27It would have made you happier.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29There is an old tradition in this country
0:46:29 > 0:46:33that on the third Wednesday of every month, which is what today is,
0:46:33 > 0:46:35people with a black T-shirt on
0:46:35 > 0:46:38and a picture of a stupid Russian sparkplug shut up.
0:46:40 > 0:46:43I liked the Dacia Sandero.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45It was honest and simple.
0:46:45 > 0:46:46It was refreshing.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49It's broken.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52As we travelled further west,
0:46:52 > 0:46:56the high-tech modern Romania we knew ran out.
0:46:58 > 0:47:02It's getting a bit more Borat round here.
0:47:02 > 0:47:05It's gypsy country here.
0:47:05 > 0:47:10I am told they can be a bit violent if they don't like the look of you.
0:47:10 > 0:47:14And on top of that, guess who was leading the convoy?
0:47:14 > 0:47:18I'm gonna take a punt on going right now.
0:47:18 > 0:47:21Do we know that this is the right way?
0:47:21 > 0:47:23Oh, sorry, Hammond, I'm just following May.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25You do know what you just said, don't you?
0:47:26 > 0:47:30This road is becoming alarmingly lumpy.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33I'm worried about my Reventon-style nose.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36The nose is too low.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39He's gonna have to admit he's brought the wrong car.
0:47:39 > 0:47:42Soon, we were really lost.
0:47:42 > 0:47:45They're building what can only be... Yes, it's a public execution.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49Where on the map does it say "Turn right at the partially built gallows?"
0:47:49 > 0:47:51That woman has an axe.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54That big woman has an axe. She has an axe.
0:47:54 > 0:47:58We drove deeper and deeper into Borat country.
0:47:58 > 0:48:02But luckily, I brought something that would help me blend in.
0:48:03 > 0:48:07I'm wearing this hat, so gypsies think I am one.
0:48:07 > 0:48:09And that's fine.
0:48:09 > 0:48:11I'm just a lucky gypsy.
0:48:11 > 0:48:13A pools-winning gypsy.
0:48:13 > 0:48:18James said the next turning would take us back to the main road.
0:48:18 > 0:48:19It didn't.
0:48:19 > 0:48:22EXCITED SHOUTING
0:48:22 > 0:48:24Holy moly.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26Oh, yeah!
0:48:28 > 0:48:32Oh, no, wait. If you look what's behind you...
0:48:32 > 0:48:34The evidence is not stacking up!
0:48:34 > 0:48:37- Is this the horse and cart? - That's a horse.
0:48:37 > 0:48:40We wanted to hit James over the head with a hammer,
0:48:40 > 0:48:41but the kids beat us to it.
0:48:41 > 0:48:44Ow! Ow! Ow!
0:48:45 > 0:48:47Are you seeing this?
0:48:48 > 0:48:50ENGINE REVS
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Did you shrink the man in the car behind?
0:48:55 > 0:48:57Did you shrink that man, gypsies?
0:48:57 > 0:49:00Getting through the village was bad enough,
0:49:00 > 0:49:04getting out of it was even trickier.
0:49:04 > 0:49:06Oh, my God, you're joking!
0:49:08 > 0:49:11Please fall off! Please fall off! Please fall off!
0:49:11 > 0:49:14OK, this is certainly a Grand Tour for these cars.
0:49:15 > 0:49:19But with the village behind us and armed with some directions,
0:49:19 > 0:49:21it was plain sailing back to the main road.
0:49:31 > 0:49:36'He's at the end of the road with another car.'
0:49:36 > 0:49:39Thankfully, the damage was light.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41- My hat!- The washer bottle.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43Yeah, it smells of detergent.
0:49:43 > 0:49:45Is everybody all right in that car?
0:49:47 > 0:49:49- That's his second bit of bad luck. - Whose?
0:49:49 > 0:49:54- James's. That's his second car of the day.- James...- Are there any cars you won't destroy?
0:49:54 > 0:49:56How many cars have you destroyed today?
0:49:56 > 0:49:58I didn't destroy it. I stopped, as you saw.
0:49:58 > 0:50:02- I saw you driving like an absolute maniac...- Shut up!
0:50:02 > 0:50:05..into this poor man's classic Dacia.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08Anyway, James, as you know on Top Gear...
0:50:08 > 0:50:10- Yes, goodbye.- Thank you.
0:50:19 > 0:50:23Our hunt for the fabled road was not going well.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25And then it got worse.
0:50:27 > 0:50:31It went dark, we couldn't find a hotel,
0:50:31 > 0:50:35the petrol stations were closed, and because I was very low on fuel,
0:50:35 > 0:50:39I found a quiet dead-end road and suggested we sleep in the cars.
0:50:39 > 0:50:43That put James and Richard in a bit of a mood.
0:50:43 > 0:50:45Listen, I can cheer you two up.
0:50:45 > 0:50:48- Would you like some cannabis? - Yes, please.- Right.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53- Thanks.- Eh?
0:50:53 > 0:50:58That's cannabis. No, specifically, it says it's Swiss cannabis ice tea.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01- That's the best sort.- You can get this in petrol stations.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04They sell cannabis in petrol stations here?
0:51:04 > 0:51:08Would you like some plum liqueur in a bottle the shape of a violin?
0:51:08 > 0:51:11- Say yes.- Yes, it's just what the doctor ordered.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15- Oh, dear...God!- It gives you a fantastic natural feeling.
0:51:15 > 0:51:18Plum liqueur and cannabis!
0:51:21 > 0:51:25- That's never been tried before. Give us a go.- It's good.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27- So we sleep in our cars?- Yes.
0:51:27 > 0:51:30I haven't got a back seat.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32I told you, you brought the wrong car.
0:51:32 > 0:51:36When I chose it, I should have thought "Better get one with a crap back seat!"
0:51:36 > 0:51:38- Just get in your car. - BOTTLE SMASHES
0:51:38 > 0:51:41Well, that's the plum liqueur gone!
0:51:41 > 0:51:44We set about our unplanned consumer test.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47So, it is a four-seater, they sell it as a four-seater.
0:51:47 > 0:51:51That must mean a human being can get in the back.
0:51:51 > 0:51:53- Ah! - HORN HONKS
0:51:56 > 0:51:58- HORN HONKS - Sorry! Sorry, everyone.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01- What are you doing? - It's a design fault.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03People are trying to sleep!
0:52:06 > 0:52:08I'm gonna sleep in the front.
0:52:20 > 0:52:22Ooh!
0:52:22 > 0:52:23Ohh!
0:52:29 > 0:52:31Ohhh!
0:52:34 > 0:52:36Bloody hell!
0:52:38 > 0:52:40- Oh!- Oh, sorry, mate!
0:52:42 > 0:52:44You sleep all right?
0:52:44 > 0:52:45Yeah. Yeah, well.
0:52:45 > 0:52:46Good.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49- Did you not use the back? - No, I tried...
0:52:56 > 0:52:58What's that?
0:53:06 > 0:53:09It's a dam. It's all right, it's quite safe.
0:53:09 > 0:53:13I should imagine it was built by the Russians or the North Koreans. We'll be fine.
0:53:13 > 0:53:19- Had I known...- Sorry, mate.- ..you'd parked us next to that, I wouldn't have enjoyed such a deep sleep.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21The quality of all Soviet buildings is fantastic.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23I'm sure that'll be...
0:53:23 > 0:53:25Why don't you shut up?
0:53:27 > 0:53:31We set off once more in search of our road.
0:53:33 > 0:53:35Oh, my God!
0:53:35 > 0:53:39Ohhhhhhhhhhh, yes!
0:53:39 > 0:53:41Suddenly, I'm awake.
0:53:43 > 0:53:45And soon we reach the mountains
0:53:45 > 0:53:50where the road surface became as pimply as a teenager's face.
0:53:52 > 0:53:54Look at the road now! It's practically ploughed!
0:53:56 > 0:54:00This was yet another problem for James in his supercar.
0:54:04 > 0:54:07Please let it end!
0:54:08 > 0:54:10The torture went on for hours,
0:54:10 > 0:54:14but eventually, the mountains gave up their secret.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16Look!
0:54:16 > 0:54:18God!
0:54:18 > 0:54:22Ha! Ha! That's the most amazing road I've ever seen.
0:54:26 > 0:54:30Built in the '70s, this is the Transfagarasan Highway.
0:54:31 > 0:54:356,000 tonnes of dynamite were used to make it
0:54:35 > 0:54:37and 40 lives lost.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42But from above,
0:54:42 > 0:54:45it looks like every great corner
0:54:45 > 0:54:47from every great racetrack in the world
0:54:47 > 0:54:49has been knitted together
0:54:49 > 0:54:51to create one unbroken grey ribbon
0:54:51 > 0:54:54of automotive perfection.
0:54:57 > 0:55:01ENGINES ROAR
0:55:12 > 0:55:16This is what we came here for!
0:55:16 > 0:55:17Oh, yes!
0:55:17 > 0:55:22Our cars had done motorways and city centres and gypsy villages,
0:55:22 > 0:55:24they'd been slept in and written on,
0:55:24 > 0:55:28but now they had a chance to let their hair down.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44Oh, that's heavenly.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47That traction control in a setting that allows a little bit of slip.
0:55:57 > 0:55:58Look at that!
0:55:58 > 0:56:01The grip! The balance!
0:56:01 > 0:56:03Can't beat the work on this.
0:56:04 > 0:56:10But here on this road, the happiest bunny of us all, was James.
0:56:14 > 0:56:17I brought the right car!
0:56:20 > 0:56:21Lamborghini payback time!
0:56:22 > 0:56:24Oh, yeah!
0:56:30 > 0:56:33I have to say, this is one of the two or three best cars
0:56:33 > 0:56:35in the world right now.
0:56:39 > 0:56:44The strange thing is, those two are driving two of the others.
0:56:45 > 0:56:48The road just got better and better.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50We were wrong!
0:56:50 > 0:56:52This is better than the Stelvio.
0:56:52 > 0:56:54This is the best road in the world.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00And the Romanian helicopter cameraman wasn't bad either.
0:57:01 > 0:57:03ENGINES ROAR
0:57:06 > 0:57:08Woh-ho-ho!
0:57:08 > 0:57:11What a finale to our Grand Tour!
0:57:11 > 0:57:15Just wanna say, Romania, thank you for having us!
0:57:15 > 0:57:17And can we stay?
0:57:17 > 0:57:18For ever!
0:57:32 > 0:57:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:57:34 > 0:57:37APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:57:39 > 0:57:41Anyway...
0:57:41 > 0:57:44what we learned from our lengthy trip to Romania
0:57:44 > 0:57:47was that the Aston Martin, as I predicted at the beginning,
0:57:47 > 0:57:48was the best.
0:57:48 > 0:57:51- Except it was the Lamborghini. - The Ferrari was the best.
0:57:51 > 0:57:57Look, guys, the two people whose opinion I respect most of all
0:57:57 > 0:57:58on all matters motoring -
0:57:58 > 0:58:03the Stig and Tiff Needell - both say that the Aston Martin
0:58:03 > 0:58:05is the best car in the world right now.
0:58:05 > 0:58:07Well, they're both wrong.
0:58:07 > 0:58:09Aha! Let me draw your attention to this.
0:58:09 > 0:58:13This is a report of our visit in one of the leading Romanian newspapers,
0:58:13 > 0:58:16and look at the caption to this picture here.
0:58:16 > 0:58:18It's in Romanian, but I'll translate,
0:58:18 > 0:58:20"Jeremy Clarkson in the Aston Martin,
0:58:20 > 0:58:23"the best car in the world, camera video."
0:58:23 > 0:58:24It doesn't say that.
0:58:24 > 0:58:25Yes, it does.
0:58:25 > 0:58:27On that bombshell, it is time to end.
0:58:27 > 0:58:29Thank you so much for watching. Good night!
0:58:29 > 0:58:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:58:47 > 0:58:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:51 > 0:58:54E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk