0:00:11 > 0:00:16Tonight in new, serious Top Gear, James catches fire.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Richard knocks something over.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21And I crash a Reliant Robin into a lamppost.
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Hello!
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Hello, we're back! We're back!
0:00:33 > 0:00:35We're back and we are...
0:00:36 > 0:00:39..more sensible than ever.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Well, we're starting sensibly anyway, with this,
0:00:42 > 0:00:44the Bentley Continental GT.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46It's not my cup of tea, if I'm honest,
0:00:46 > 0:00:51but if you live in Cheshire and you have to travel great distances
0:00:51 > 0:00:57at high speed in drinks globe luxury it really is in a class of one.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01Now, however, there's a new version which is a bit different.
0:01:11 > 0:01:16It's called the Continental Supersports, and this is it.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17The fastest,
0:01:17 > 0:01:23most outlandish car Bentley has ever made.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26First of all, it's been lightened.
0:01:26 > 0:01:31The rear seat has been replaced with air.
0:01:31 > 0:01:38The sofas up front are now racing buckets trimmed in the Duke of Westminster's smoking jacket.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43And there is carbon fibre on the dash rather than walnut.
0:01:47 > 0:01:52The result is dramatic because that car weighs just two and a quarter tons,
0:01:52 > 0:01:56about the same as a three bedroom terraced house.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Still, it's not like there isn't enough power to deal with the bulk.
0:02:03 > 0:02:09It has the same engine as before, a 6 litre twin turbo W12,
0:02:09 > 0:02:15but now it produces 621 horsepowers.
0:02:19 > 0:02:24The result is 0 to 60 in 3.7 seconds.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46God, that is 167, 168 and it's still pulling!
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Flat out, it will do 204 miles an hour,
0:02:53 > 0:02:57even if you fill the tank with Jerusalem artichokes.
0:03:06 > 0:03:11That engine has been designed to run on something called bioethanol, fuel made from plants.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15And if you use that rather than petrol the power output remains
0:03:15 > 0:03:20the same, but you get fewer carbon dioxides coming out of the back.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28Sounds wonderful, if you believe in this carbon malarkey,
0:03:28 > 0:03:30but there are a couple of drawbacks.
0:03:32 > 0:03:40First of all, there are 8,850 petrol stations in Britain, but only 20 of them sell bioethanol.
0:03:40 > 0:03:47And, secondly, when you're running on maize it's not what you'd call economical.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Honestly, it gets through veg faster than Paul McCartney's ex.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00The Supersports, then, it's all much as you'd expect,
0:04:00 > 0:04:05very fast, very heavy and at speed about six miles to the gallon.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12But don't be fooled by the headlines.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16This is spooky.
0:04:16 > 0:04:22I've got an automatic gearbox and air conditioning, satellite navigation and it's very quiet.
0:04:22 > 0:04:28It's just like a normal Bentley, but look at the way it changes direction.
0:04:36 > 0:04:42This car is like an elephant with the reflexes of a water boatman.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45And if you're watching in Poland and you don't know what
0:04:45 > 0:04:50a water boatman is, it's like an Evo X, it really is.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54And if you're watching in Ethiopia and you don't know what an Evo X is,
0:04:54 > 0:04:59what I mean is it does things rather well. No, not well!
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Why did I say "well"? Oh, God.
0:05:03 > 0:05:09Then you have the brakes which can tear your face off.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Ready, now!
0:05:20 > 0:05:24To make the Bentley a race track screamer it's been fitted with
0:05:24 > 0:05:31carbon ceramic discs, new suspension bushes and different anti roll bars.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Though when I say different I mean, of course, enormous.
0:05:36 > 0:05:42They've also reprogrammed the four wheel drive system so that now most of the power goes to the back.
0:05:46 > 0:05:52Imagine then that if you mash the throttle into the carpets halfway around a corner
0:05:52 > 0:05:58it will spin up its rear wheels and hang its tail out like a small dog.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Sorry, that was a dreadful simile, dogs don't have wheels.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Unless they'd been in an accident.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11But here's the extraordinary thing, OK?
0:06:11 > 0:06:15It doesn't! Coming up to the Hammerhead going the wrong way,
0:06:15 > 0:06:16halfway round, foot hard down...
0:06:24 > 0:06:28..it doesn't! It just grips.
0:06:31 > 0:06:37Of course, you can make it misbehave if you go way too fast and poke it with a stick.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47But even if you do that the computer steps in,
0:06:47 > 0:06:53sends power to the front wheels and, bang, everything is sorted out!
0:06:53 > 0:06:55It is uncanny.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01It is a very impressive car, this.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03But I don't like it.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05What they've tried to do here
0:07:05 > 0:07:09is turn an ocean liner into a speedboat.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16And, yes, they have sort of pulled it off,
0:07:16 > 0:07:23but it still feels very big and very heavy. Oh dear!
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Whoa!
0:07:41 > 0:07:48So big and so heavy in fact that I believe it has just shredded its rear tyres.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Oh ho!
0:07:51 > 0:07:56Oh dear! Now, I don't think that's legal any more,
0:07:56 > 0:07:58or safe.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06The upshot then is simple.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11If I wanted to spend £163,000 on a speedboat
0:08:11 > 0:08:16I'd buy something that was designed to be a speedboat in the first place.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23In short, I'd buy an Aston Martin DBS.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Thank you very much.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Really? You would have the Aston?
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Oh, yeah.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51No, it's more nimble, it's got two more seats,
0:08:51 > 0:08:53doesn't weigh the same as a church.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- Doesn't eat its own shoes.- No, this is the best car in the world. - No, it isn't.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01Yes, it is. Anyway, we must now find out how fast
0:09:01 > 0:09:03the Wilmslow Express goes round our track
0:09:03 > 0:09:07and that, of course, means handing it over to our tame racing driver.
0:09:07 > 0:09:13Some say that his discharge is luminous...
0:09:13 > 0:09:15LAUGHTER
0:09:15 > 0:09:20..and that even as we speak he is appearing on the main stage
0:09:20 > 0:09:24at Glastonbury performing his most famous hit, Superstition.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27LAUGHTER
0:09:27 > 0:09:30All we know is he's called The Stig.
0:09:32 > 0:09:37He's off! Note the flags there, Stig displaying his support for the Norwegian football team.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42I tried to explain they aren't actually in the World Cup, but this made him very angry.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Here he is, first corner, looking nice.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Yes!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Interestingly, he's the only person in the world who
0:09:52 > 0:09:55likes the sound of the vuvuzela, because he invented it!
0:09:55 > 0:09:59There he is, round Chicago, very tidy for a big car.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Now, Hammerhead. This should be astonishing.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Oh no, it's exploded! It's rolled end over end!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10This is incredible! But Stig's out of the wreckage!
0:10:10 > 0:10:13He's dodging the naked waitresses and...he's on fire!
0:10:13 > 0:10:15He's now coming up to Gambon.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18No, no! He's taking his helmet off!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20It's her! Right round the tiger!
0:10:20 > 0:10:25He's just a shaken hands with Elvis and there he is, across the line!
0:10:25 > 0:10:32I don't believe that, the most exciting thing I've ever seen and some idiot at Television Centre
0:10:32 > 0:10:35cut to an advertisement for a stupid little Korean hatchback.
0:10:35 > 0:10:40It's a good job ITV didn't cover the moon landings. 10 foot. BEEP.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Five foot. BEEP.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46# If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit... #
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Anyway, I have the time,
0:10:48 > 0:10:54and it did it in 1:24.9, which puts it there.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57And that's not bad, really, for a small moon.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02Anyway, now we must turn our attention to the Icelandic volcano because although it went on
0:11:02 > 0:11:07to become global news, the actual eruption itself started out quite
0:11:07 > 0:11:13small and that got us wondering how close could you get to it in a car.
0:11:13 > 0:11:18Now, obviously, this was a job for a rugged, outdoorsy sort of chap.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Unfortunately, Jeremy was on holiday,
0:11:20 > 0:11:22so James went.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33It's very hard to drive across Iceland at the best of times.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39But luckily I had just the vehicle for the job.
0:11:39 > 0:11:45This looks exactly like the Toyota that Jeremy and I
0:11:45 > 0:11:47drove to the North Pole.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50More to the point, this has been to the North Pole with us,
0:11:50 > 0:11:54but you never saw it and it never got any of the glory
0:11:54 > 0:11:57because it was the one driven by the camera crew.
0:11:59 > 0:12:06After we got back from the Pole our car went off to a museum whereas this one was just left to rot.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Today, though, I'm going to bring it back to life and give it one more mission.
0:12:14 > 0:12:20Wow, I never actually thought I'd be so pleased to see one of these again.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21This really brings it all back,
0:12:21 > 0:12:27the ice going on and on forever, the boulder field going on and on forever.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30I can hear Jeremy going on and on forever.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Oh, God...
0:12:35 > 0:12:40No matter, my job is to turn this into the world's first volcano-proof car,
0:12:40 > 0:12:43which means a visit to Emil,
0:12:43 > 0:12:48the 4x4 genius who built it in the first place.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51I mean, what are the unique risks to volcano driving,
0:12:51 > 0:12:55apart from obviously being consumed by molten lava and burnt to a crisp?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57It depends on how close you want to get.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Very close. As far as I can work out no-one's ever actually driven
0:13:00 > 0:13:05right up to the mouth of an active volcano in a car, so it's another Top Gear first if we can do it.
0:13:05 > 0:13:06Yeah.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11Some people claim you can walk on hot coals if you wet the bottom
0:13:11 > 0:13:15of your feet and I was just wondering, if there was some system
0:13:15 > 0:13:20of continuously wetting the tyres would it be possible to drive across the hot lava?
0:13:20 > 0:13:24If you don't fall through, possibly, yeah, if you drive fast.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Emile didn't look very confident,
0:13:29 > 0:13:33but we set to work anyway...
0:13:35 > 0:13:39..and by the next morning, the volcano-buster was ready.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49I know I look a bit like a petty thief on my way home from some corrugated roof robbery
0:13:49 > 0:13:52at the allotment, but there's a very good reason for all of this.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Their lava occasionally goes over an area of water and that
0:13:55 > 0:14:00causes an explosion throwing bits of lava and rock up into the air,
0:14:00 > 0:14:06so that's there to stop those lumps coming down and breaking the windscreen, or my head.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13We've also fitted our new and pioneering tyre cooling system.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17There's an oil drum on the back full of water and pipes feed the water to the tyres.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21Now, obviously, there's a risk of it freezing and we can't put antifreeze
0:14:21 > 0:14:26in the water because that pollutes the glacier, so we've added a dash of vodka.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33As I drove onto the glacier, I stopped to hook up with
0:14:33 > 0:14:38a volcanologist who couldn't get to the volcano because of the weather.
0:14:43 > 0:14:48And it's fantastically windy. I've never seen or felt a wind like it.
0:14:48 > 0:14:54Because of this storm that has been raging for the last few days, we haven't really been able to visit
0:14:54 > 0:14:56the area to see what's going on there.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00So at the moment, with this weather, in this white-out,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02really nobody knows what's happening.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Exactly. Nobody can see.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09As night fell, the storm became worse.
0:15:09 > 0:15:14It was so bad that by morning, it had taken the lives of two locals.
0:15:15 > 0:15:20This is what we're seeing, or what we're not seeing, I should say.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Visibility is probably less than 10m.
0:15:27 > 0:15:33We reckoned that as long as we could follow the car carrying Emil and the camera crew, we'd be OK.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37There it is. There he is.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40But we weren't.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Oh, I've lost the tail lights.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Wow, that's dark.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Soon, we were completely lost.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53- Can you see any red lights? - I don't see anything.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Oh, cock.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Right, we are now, effectively, driving on instruments.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Outside the window is just... it's a complete sheet of white.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07There's a blizzard going.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10The windscreen itself is freezing up.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11The windscreen wipers have frozen up.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15It's quite unnerving.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Eventually, I had to get out to unjam the wipers.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21- Ah!- Oh, my God.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Blinding.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Look at that.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- Good job.- Argh!
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Argh.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47God, I've never known anything like that.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49I hadn't realised how strong that was, being in here.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I could hardly stand up.
0:16:51 > 0:16:57We ploughed onwards until, at last, salvation.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01- Lights! Look, lights! There they are.- Thank God.
0:17:03 > 0:17:07Eventually, the storm cleared and we arrived at
0:17:07 > 0:17:12our overnight stop, where we were greeted by a spectacular sight.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- Wow, look at that!- Beautiful.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18How far away is that?
0:17:18 > 0:17:21About one and a half kilometres.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23I can hear it, as well.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26It's like cannon fire.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28That's fantastic.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Wow!
0:17:35 > 0:17:43The next morning, still with no idea how big this eruption would become, I dropped off the professor...
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Thanks for a ride.
0:17:44 > 0:17:51..and headed on alone, until at last I got my first close-up look at the volcano.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03God in heaven, look at that.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Lava was spewing out at a temperature of 1,200 degrees centigrade,
0:18:12 > 0:18:18and right in front of my eyes, a brand-new part of the world was being created.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21It was now my job to test our volcano car by driving up to
0:18:21 > 0:18:27the crater and scooping up a fresh piece of landscape as a souvenir.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31And to help me with that, they've given me a garden trowel,
0:18:31 > 0:18:35on an extending pole, held on with sticky tape, and...
0:18:36 > 0:18:38..a bucket.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41And of course, I have my corrugated roof
0:18:41 > 0:18:45and I'm in the best off-road vehicle I've ever driven.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48So, piece of cake, really. Here we go.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Does look quite angry.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Oh, God, look at that.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Even though I was driving on lava that had fallen days ago,
0:19:11 > 0:19:17it was still red hot, and the Top Gear vodka tyre cooling system was working overtime.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21Right, what I need is for a piece to land quite near me,
0:19:21 > 0:19:26and then I can reach out of the window and grab it.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Ooh!
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Bravely, I decided that was far enough.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Oh, my word.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39I don't know if you can see this but it's raining red-hot lumps.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42It's quite...
0:19:42 > 0:19:45God, that's hot.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48It was time to break out the lava scoop.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Whoa! Bloody hellfire.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Look at the size of that!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59A piece of that would do nicely.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Whoa!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Yes! Yes!
0:20:05 > 0:20:08It's still glowing slightly.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Yay-hey!
0:20:10 > 0:20:13God, that's hot.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Whoa!
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Oh, that's getting a bit frisky.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25In the excitement of bagging a souvenir, I'd stayed still for too long.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31We're on fire. Right, I'm off.
0:20:35 > 0:20:40With the tyres steaming, I beat a retreat from the volcano,
0:20:40 > 0:20:44clutching my brand-new piece of planet Earth.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48I claim you for Queen Elizabeth and Top Gear.
0:20:54 > 0:21:00And best of all, the unsung hero finally got the recognition it deserves.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19The news.
0:21:19 > 0:21:26Ferrari has broken the lap record of the Nurburgring for production cars with this, the 599XX.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28It did it in six minutes, 58 seconds.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Nurburgring?- That's faster than than Clay Regazzoni's lap record in an F1 car.
0:21:31 > 0:21:36I know the track's a bit shorter now, but that is almost unbelievably fast.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- For a road car. For a production car.- That's incredible.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43It does have a six-litre V12 and 772 horsepower,
0:21:43 > 0:21:49and it costs £1.2 million.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52And, you can't actually have it.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Well, unless you've got £1.2 million, obviously.
0:21:55 > 0:22:00No, you can buy it, and you own it, but then they don't let you have it,
0:22:00 > 0:22:03but they do let you drive it occasionally, if they feel like it.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Can I just say, this was the actual photograph that Ferrari sent to us
0:22:06 > 0:22:09to show what the car looked like at the Nurburgring.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Now, I'm not sure it's particularly brilliant. If we look at the graffiti on the track...
0:22:15 > 0:22:20- Hammond.- Yes, a normal Nissan GTR costs, what, 60 grand?- 60 grand.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24OK. Well, this is the new one. It's the Spec V. V Spec GTR.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28That is £125,000, all of a sudden.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- Yeah.- Why is it £125,000? - It's difficult to tell.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34It doesn't have more power than the normal car, but it does have something
0:22:34 > 0:22:37called a boost-control device. Basically, it's a button.
0:22:37 > 0:22:43When you press it, it spools up both the turbos and releases a sudden burst of more power!
0:22:43 > 0:22:46I just hope that button is mounted on top of the gear lever
0:22:46 > 0:22:49under like a little cage and you lift it and go, "Ohhh!"
0:22:49 > 0:22:54And then you've got to know the code word. And maybe two keys in the dash have to be turned simultaneously...
0:22:54 > 0:22:58- Like on a nuclear submarine?- Yes, that's what I'm thinking!- You turn...
0:22:58 > 0:23:02A mission from the president. It's a go. I want it, just for that button.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Yes.- Because this is sensible Top Gear, I will say
0:23:05 > 0:23:08- it also comes with a very competitive three-year warranty. - Yeah.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Now, are there any girls here? Good.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15Don't ever faint in Holland.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17That would be my Top Gear top tip for the night.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20We've got some footage here, explains what I'm on about.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24Start of a race. There's the grid girl. Oh, she's gone a bit wobbly.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25And she's fainted. There you go.
0:23:27 > 0:23:32So you're thinking, "Poor girl." You're thinking, "Ooh, no - now she's lying on the track."
0:23:32 > 0:23:37So, as we can see, men in high-visibility jackets have come over to make sure she's OK.
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Or are they making sure she's OK?
0:23:38 > 0:23:41How do you...? Oh, put your hand on her bottom.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- That's the ticket. That's what he's done.- Checking for her pulse.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Now let's hear what the driver's got to say.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Get the girl off!
0:23:56 > 0:23:59That's a racing driver, isn't it? All over.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Everybody, good news.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03CHEERING
0:24:03 > 0:24:04No, wait. It's better than you think.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07The new Dacia...Duster...
0:24:07 > 0:24:09LAUGHTER
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- IS coming to the UK.- OK!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14That's great.
0:24:14 > 0:24:19APPLAUSE
0:24:19 > 0:24:24- That's great. Good.- Now, for this new series of Top Gear, we have a new reasonably-priced car.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27I know, exciting. But it gave us a dilemma -
0:24:27 > 0:24:29what to do with the old one.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Every year in Britain,
0:24:34 > 0:24:38over two million cars go to their deaths.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41And frankly, it's a pretty cold and clinical affair.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45Tyres are made into carpet underlay.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Dashboards are melted down to make garden furniture.
0:24:47 > 0:24:55The once-sleek bodywork gets reincarnated as a washing machine.
0:24:55 > 0:25:00All in all, a lot of eco-worthiness but absolutely no emotion.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05And that's quite sad when you think about it.
0:25:05 > 0:25:10Because the car doesn't just carry people. It carries memories.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Take this one, for example.
0:25:14 > 0:25:19It's an ancient Mazda 323 that will never go up the hill at Goodwood
0:25:19 > 0:25:22or turn on a plinth at a motor show.
0:25:22 > 0:25:28But it's been with the Lister family of Maidenhead for 23 years.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31It took Mum to and from hospital when the kids were born.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34It did years of school runs.
0:25:34 > 0:25:40And when Daniel and Rachel turned 17, they learned to drive in it.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45And then adopted it as their passport to teenage freedom.
0:25:45 > 0:25:51Sadly, the Listers' 323 is soon to be scrapped.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53And it makes you realise that when a car dies,
0:25:53 > 0:25:57it should be treated like a death in the family.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02And today we find ourselves in that very position.
0:26:02 > 0:26:08Because it's time to say goodbye to a special member of the Top Gear family.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Our old reasonably priced car.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14The Chevrolet Lacetti.
0:26:14 > 0:26:19As a machine, it was never destined to set the automotive world alight.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23But it's certainly got some memories.
0:26:23 > 0:26:31Think of the real fear and exhilaration experienced by real-life celebrities in this car.
0:26:31 > 0:26:36The celebrity sweat from celebrity bums in this seat.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39What a life it's been.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02But now, it's at the end of its useful life,
0:27:02 > 0:27:07and because it's been such a hard life, we're not allowed to sell it.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11So with regret, the Lacetti must die.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15But the thought of it being crushed and recycled...
0:27:15 > 0:27:22and these tyres - Michael Gambon's tyres - being turned into carpet underlay...
0:27:22 > 0:27:23I'm sorry, no.
0:27:23 > 0:27:29So instead, we've decided to give it a Viking burial.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34These magnificent chimneys were built in 1969.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36They're 550' high,
0:27:36 > 0:27:41and they weigh 7,185 tonnes each.
0:27:42 > 0:27:50Except today, they weigh a little bit more because each has been stuffed with 25 kilograms of nitroglycerine.
0:27:50 > 0:27:55In a few minutes, that'll go boom, and these will come crashing down.
0:27:55 > 0:28:02And in the process, they'll create a fitting tomb for our heroic little car.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05I can see already this is the right thing to do.
0:28:05 > 0:28:10If I were a reasonably priced car that had been driven round a television show's test track
0:28:10 > 0:28:15hundreds of times by celebrities from all over the world, that is the way I would want to go.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18I've never thought about it, but that is how I'd want to go.
0:28:20 > 0:28:25With the assembled mourners looking resplendent in high-visibility jackets,
0:28:25 > 0:28:28the funeral service was about to begin.
0:29:01 > 0:29:03And there we are.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05A dignified Viking burial.
0:29:05 > 0:29:07Nearly!
0:29:09 > 0:29:15You know, I can just see the nose of the car sticking out, which is pretty shoddy.
0:29:17 > 0:29:21You're supposed to cover the whole body, that's the basics, you don't walk away with an arm
0:29:21 > 0:29:25sticking out of the ground and say, that's that done!
0:29:25 > 0:29:27You cover it all up.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32Oh, my God.
0:29:36 > 0:29:37You idiot!
0:29:37 > 0:29:39What? How was I to know?
0:29:41 > 0:29:45"I nearly buried it"? Nobody "nearly buries" anything!
0:29:45 > 0:29:49Anyway, we are very sad to say goodbye to the Lacetti...
0:29:49 > 0:29:52No, we're not, actually, we never really liked it.
0:29:52 > 0:29:56It was rubbish, to be honest. Now it's time to unveil its replacement.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59And here it is. Anybody want to guess what's under here?
0:29:59 > 0:30:04A Lamborghini, no, it isn't, it's the same height as him, so it can't be a Lamborghini.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07They just haven't got this at all, have they? Shall I just reveal?
0:30:07 > 0:30:11- Are we ready? Here we go! - This is the big moment!
0:30:12 > 0:30:14It's a Kia!
0:30:16 > 0:30:17Specifically...
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Specifically...
0:30:20 > 0:30:23the Kia...
0:30:23 > 0:30:25the Kia cee'd,
0:30:25 > 0:30:32- the only car in the world that actually has an apostrophe in its name.- And what a machine it is.
0:30:32 > 0:30:34It has a 1.6 litre engine,
0:30:34 > 0:30:40which means it can go from 0-60 in a dazzling 10.4 seconds.
0:30:40 > 0:30:45And it'll go on to a mind-boggling top speed of 119 miles an hour.
0:30:45 > 0:30:51Engineered in Korea, built in Slovakia. Finished in brown.
0:30:51 > 0:30:57It is on sale to you for an incredibly reasonable £14,000.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00- That's amazingly reasonable. - It is incredibly reasonable.
0:31:00 > 0:31:06Astonishing. But there is one more issue, because new car means we've got a new lap time board.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09We couldn't just invite a celebrity tonight, and ask them, "So!
0:31:09 > 0:31:11"Where do you think you came on the board?"
0:31:11 > 0:31:16because there's no other names on it. So we've thought of a way of getting lots of names on it all at once
0:31:16 > 0:31:23by inviting lots of celebrities to an all-star celebrity summer barbecue festival event.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28Since it was going to be a celebrity-packed day,
0:31:28 > 0:31:32we arrived at the track good and early to sort out the catering.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35I've got 32 sausages. That's going to be enough.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37I've got a cauliflower for if a vegetarian comes.
0:31:37 > 0:31:41With the barbecue lit, we turned our minds to the guest list.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44Well, I've invited Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp...
0:31:44 > 0:31:47- Oh, you invited Johnny as well? - I invited Johnny Depp.
0:31:47 > 0:31:52He's been invited twice, but he won't mind. I've invited her again.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54Look, if you invite Angelina, she won't come.
0:31:54 > 0:31:58- She will.- No, she won't. - We're bigger than ever. She will.
0:31:58 > 0:32:06By 9am our spread was ready and we'd laid out a selection of toys to keep our A-listers entertained.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09I can't give Harrison Ford this.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Do you think she saw when we went to Vietnam on those bikes?
0:32:12 > 0:32:15No. She isn't coming.
0:32:16 > 0:32:20- And she wasn't. Who's that? - That's not Angelina.
0:32:20 > 0:32:24I know who that is. Nick Robinson, BBC Political Editor.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26- I knew that.- Nick. - Jeremy. How are you?
0:32:26 > 0:32:30Nick was looking forward to driving our new reasonably priced car.
0:32:30 > 0:32:34Over there, in brown, the Kia cee'd.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36Now that is my sort of car.
0:32:36 > 0:32:42- Dull, slow.- But the Political Editor's start was far from slow.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44TYRES SCREECH
0:32:46 > 0:32:50Ooh, I like the smell of burning rubber. God, it's addictive!
0:32:50 > 0:32:53It would've been polite to show an interest in Nick's lap.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56Here we go! Don't brake!
0:32:56 > 0:33:01But we got distracted by our next guest - Al Murray...
0:33:01 > 0:33:03- Hi.- Pickled cucumber? - ..who is my kind of guy.
0:33:03 > 0:33:10My favourite medium tank of the war, T-34-85 with the larger calibre gun that could take on a tiger.
0:33:10 > 0:33:14As Nick was on his hot lap, we should've paid attention.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16- Not fifth, you- BLEEP!
0:33:16 > 0:33:18But sadly, we got distracted again.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29Oh, I love it!
0:33:29 > 0:33:33Just give me a news conference now. I tell you what, no politician is safe!
0:33:33 > 0:33:36It was time to put the first ever result on the new board.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40Here it is.
0:33:40 > 0:33:44Nick Robinson, 1.499. First!
0:33:44 > 0:33:45- You're the first!- Amazing!
0:33:45 > 0:33:49The fastest man ever to go round this track in that car.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56As Al Murray roared off...
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Turn, turn, turn, turn, you doughnut.
0:34:00 > 0:34:03..tall Dragon Peter Jones arrived.
0:34:03 > 0:34:08My day just immediately takes a downturn. No offence.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13With the hellos over, Peter unleashed his killer instinct to win.
0:34:15 > 0:34:19Wait a minute! You're supposed to let the other person...
0:34:19 > 0:34:22How competitive. He's actually playing himself!
0:34:22 > 0:34:26With the game over, we should've turned our attention to Al.
0:34:26 > 0:34:32- Oh, yes!- But at that moment, a Page 3 girl arrived.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35- Peta, 23, from Essex.- Hello, Jeremy Clarkson from Tops Gear.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37- Tops Gear?! How are you? - Very well.- Come along.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39- You're not Jewish, are you? - I'm not, no.
0:34:39 > 0:34:44Good. So we've got sausages and we've got bacon and everything.
0:34:44 > 0:34:50Peta didn't fancy ham and sausages, or my vegetarian option.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52So at last we turned our thoughts to Al...
0:34:54 > 0:34:56..just as he crossed the finishing line.
0:34:56 > 0:34:58One...
0:34:58 > 0:35:00Yes. Thank goodness it's a one.
0:35:00 > 0:35:02- 40...- Yes.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04Ballpark.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06Eight...point one.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10You, sir, the fastest.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13A fact that Al was keen to point out to Nick Robinson.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16Whenever I see you on TV now I'm going to think, "Quicker than him".
0:35:16 > 0:35:21Whatever your Downing Street analysis might be, you might know more about
0:35:21 > 0:35:26the inner workings of the coalition, but I'm quicker than you.
0:35:26 > 0:35:31As the competitive Dragon pounded round, we decided to spy on him.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34He doesn't know we can see him.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36# Come on baby, light my fire. #
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Next to arrive was Johnny Vaughan.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43- Vaughany!- All right, Clarky.
0:35:43 > 0:35:48Who as a former star in the car was keen to gen up on the cee'd.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51We're talking 124 brake horse power.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53What was the last one?
0:35:53 > 0:35:55The last one was 119.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57OK. So we're packing five more here.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Five more horses in the stable.
0:36:01 > 0:36:05The competitive Dragon had finished his whole lap.
0:36:05 > 0:36:08Whoo-hoo! Please tell me that was quick.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12Now we would find out the difference between our old Chevy and the new Kia.
0:36:12 > 0:36:18This is where all of South Korea is sitting and going, "Do we make a faster car than Chevrolet?"
0:36:18 > 0:36:24Seriously, can we go toe-to-toe with the North across the bamboo curtain?
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Where were you in the old car? 1.469.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30You did it in one minute...
0:36:30 > 0:36:32Oh, Jeremy.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37- 45.9.- Yes!
0:36:39 > 0:36:42- That's going to take some strangling, that.- That's a second faster.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49- As Peta, 23, from Essex hit the track...- I cannot change gear.
0:36:49 > 0:36:53..Hammond's dreams finally came true.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57- Make-up does a lot. - You might gain a few pounds on the telly, but it doesn't do that.
0:36:57 > 0:36:59It does. It does. Get off!
0:36:59 > 0:37:03- Cos when Angelina comes, if you've bent the badge, she'll be cross. - You can't have it!
0:37:03 > 0:37:08Out on the track, it was starting to get wet and slippery.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12The chaps were desperately concerned for Peta's welfare.
0:37:12 > 0:37:16- When does a gazebo become a tent? - All right. This is not even a tent, is it?- It is.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22- It's a gazebo. - No, it's not. It's not even that.
0:37:22 > 0:37:26Despite the rain, Peta matched Nick Robinson's time.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Then Johnny Vaughan set off.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30Ignore the weather.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33To an inspiring soundtrack from Angelina.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Don't lose your bottle, don't lose your bottle.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43Keep your foot down, keep your foot down, keep your foot down.
0:37:46 > 0:37:50The weather got worse and worse.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53- Whoa! - Someone left a cake out in the rain.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59This is where you've got to have balls. This is where it counts.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02Meanwhile, I'd spotted our next guest.
0:38:02 > 0:38:06Someone I'd first encountered on The Jonathan Ross Show.
0:38:06 > 0:38:07Oh, my God!
0:38:07 > 0:38:10- It's Angelina Jolie. - No. Hammond, I've just remembered.
0:38:10 > 0:38:15- It's June 10th, isn't it? - Er, yes, it is.- My wife's birthday.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18- What, today?- Yeah.- You idiot.
0:38:18 > 0:38:22- I'm going to, no, seriously, I'm going to go now, this second. - What, now?!
0:38:22 > 0:38:27This second and I'm going to get her a birthday present.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30Next guest is here. He's brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33Real man's man, you know? I'll be back, I'll be back.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36- So I'm looking after the...? - Yes, yes.- What's he called?- Louie.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Where's Jeremy going?
0:38:39 > 0:38:43- Oh, hello. All right? - Hello.- I'm Bill.- Nice to meet you. - Hello, Louie. You all right?
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Louie seemed very friendly.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49Oh, mind. You're getting dribbled there, darling. Just dribbling on you.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51Yeah, it's dribbling on you.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54Johnny was still out driving.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!
0:38:57 > 0:39:02Bill went bird watching and that left me all alone with my new best friend.
0:39:08 > 0:39:12- I'll be over here. - I'm just having a little stretch just before I get in there. Try it.
0:39:12 > 0:39:16- Do what?- Flat back over and just stretch out your hamstrings.
0:39:16 > 0:39:20- I'm, I've got a war wound from fighting a rugby player.- No, no, no.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22No, honestly, you'll be surprised.
0:39:22 > 0:39:30With Jeremy still not back, the celebrities were getting more and more unruly.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33- Bill, get off the track! - What the- BLEEP- are you doing, Bill?
0:39:33 > 0:39:36- The race track is no place for fancy cakes.- Do you want something to eat?
0:39:36 > 0:39:38All right. Custard cream if you're asking.
0:39:38 > 0:39:43And one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47And side, two, three, four, catch, take it down, walk around, walk around.
0:39:47 > 0:39:52Flip ball change, flip ball change, step turn, step turn, in and look.
0:39:55 > 0:40:01Mercifully, I had to go and put Johnny's time on the lap board, but even that was stressful.
0:40:01 > 0:40:06We knock five seconds off, or we add five seconds for a wet lap in our mind, so it's five seconds gone.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10THEY DISAGREE
0:40:10 > 0:40:12That's how it works!
0:40:12 > 0:40:15'Worse, Johnny started giving advice to Louie.'
0:40:15 > 0:40:17Watch your big end as you slide through Hammerhead.
0:40:17 > 0:40:21Your back end will slide out if you don't get the purchase up there.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24Also, watch your helmet against the steel bars.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26'Clarkson finally got back.'
0:40:26 > 0:40:30- Hammond!- 'Just as the fire was being put out.'
0:40:30 > 0:40:33- Don't put the fire barbecue out! - I wanted one of those sausages.
0:40:33 > 0:40:37Louie, what have you done with the fireman who was in that jacket and helmet?
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Have things not been going smoothly since I just...
0:40:40 > 0:40:43- Yeah, yeah. It's gone well.- Has it?
0:40:43 > 0:40:45As Angelina wrestled with the Kia...
0:40:45 > 0:40:50Turn! Turn... We get out of the turn with speed, yes, because speed is our friend.
0:40:50 > 0:40:52..our next guest arrived.
0:40:52 > 0:40:58Amy Williams, Britain's only gold medallist at the Winter Olympics.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00What is it that's worrying you?
0:41:00 > 0:41:05I'm quite scared and I'm worried that I'm just going to skid off course by trying to be too quick.
0:41:05 > 0:41:08Wait a minute. You earned your notoriety
0:41:08 > 0:41:14- from, let's be honest, skidding down a mountain at extremely high speed. - Sophisticated skidding!
0:41:17 > 0:41:20I think that was... Was it a crow? Or was it a raven?
0:41:20 > 0:41:25In the celebrity gymnasium, I too was enjoying a spot of bird watching.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Take your arms up to the side.
0:41:30 > 0:41:34- Squats.- Meanwhile, Richard Hammond is with Louie Spence.
0:41:34 > 0:41:39And you go flat out through there, and you come to a tight left here.
0:41:39 > 0:41:42- Right. - Quite a wide bit of the track there.
0:41:42 > 0:41:46So I can just go back to the flat out but up here, this tight bit here?
0:41:46 > 0:41:51You just go flat out through there, and then flat out round there.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53So, why am I so tight up to the edge here?
0:41:53 > 0:41:57As Jeremy tried to impress Amy...
0:41:57 > 0:42:01I'm extremely fit. I don't think a lot of people realise that.
0:42:01 > 0:42:05..Angelina was finishing her lap, confident that she'd beaten Johnny Vaughan.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07Ha ha ha ha ha!
0:42:07 > 0:42:13He was 1:53.3. You did it in 1:50.8.
0:42:13 > 0:42:17- Oh ho ho!- Now that...- That's good.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21..when Louie out on the track.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24BLEEP! Where's that corner gone? There it is.
0:42:24 > 0:42:31I wanted to say hello to Amy, but unfortunately she was still being monopolised.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35I can do Congratulations, are you ready?
0:42:35 > 0:42:36Yeah.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47- Despite a few pirouettes...- BLEEP!
0:42:47 > 0:42:50..Louie finally banged in a lap.
0:42:52 > 0:42:58You did it in 1:53.69.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01Louie was very unhappy.
0:43:01 > 0:43:02I gave a better show than Johnny.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04I mean he took no chances.
0:43:04 > 0:43:08- No chances at all!- So I left him and Hammond to say a tender goodbye...
0:43:08 > 0:43:11Can I have my helmet back now?
0:43:11 > 0:43:14..and escorted Amy to the car.
0:43:14 > 0:43:18OK, so, skeleton run, here we go. But in a car.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22I was looking forward to watching her lap.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25But Hammond kept shouting at me.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27I've been running all of his.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30I've been in charge of everything you see here.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32This whole operation takes a lot of looking after.
0:43:32 > 0:43:36- I've been back for hours. - Standing on wobbling machine with a sports girl.
0:43:36 > 0:43:40- Why can't I look after the girl? - You can, but I'd like to have talked to her.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43Maybe you could have talked to Louie for a couple of minutes?
0:43:43 > 0:43:45I did! I said goodbye.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49Out on the track, Amy was displaying all of the raw skill...
0:43:51 > 0:43:54..that had won her a gold medal. In my mind, she was brilliant.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01- Whoa!- Watch, watch, watch.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09- Clap.- No.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12Amy, you did it in...
0:44:12 > 0:44:17Now, bear in mind we've got a 1:53.7, and a 1:50.8.
0:44:17 > 0:44:19- These are the wet times.- Yeah.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22You did it in 1:50.9.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27- So, you're there. - I'm just disappointed about that.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30I think I do have to come back and practise a little bit more.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33I'd be delighted if you came back. Absolutely thrilled.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36- When it's not raining. - Maybe you could use a faster car?
0:44:36 > 0:44:38Come back any time. Move in. Practise constantly.
0:44:38 > 0:44:44With Amy gone, Jeremy decided there was no reason to stay.
0:44:47 > 0:44:53So, I sat down to wait for the real Angelina.
0:44:53 > 0:44:54Just give it another hour.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04- She was so stunning. She is. - Louie is a nice guy.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08- Let me ask, let me ask. Did she turn up?- Yep!- Really?!
0:45:08 > 0:45:11- No.- No, I didn't think she would.
0:45:11 > 0:45:15Anyway, I'd now like you to have a look at this motorcycle.
0:45:15 > 0:45:20Now, I know it's not a motorcycle, OK? But the Government says it is.
0:45:20 > 0:45:25They say that because it only has three wheels, it's not a car.
0:45:25 > 0:45:30And as a result, you save £55 a year on your tax disc.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33Now obviously, the best way of exploiting this loophole
0:45:33 > 0:45:36is to take a wheel off your car and drive round on the other three,
0:45:36 > 0:45:38but we don't recommend that.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40So is there another way?
0:45:51 > 0:45:53This is a Reliant Robin.
0:45:54 > 0:45:59On the face of it, it's hard to see how it ever caught on.
0:45:59 > 0:46:05Even though it was made from plastic rather than steel, it cost more when it was new than a Mini.
0:46:08 > 0:46:09Catch on it did, though.
0:46:09 > 0:46:13The American Embassy in London ran three as diplomatic cars.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15Princess Anne had one.
0:46:15 > 0:46:19Here in the North of England, it was such a hit that by the middle of
0:46:19 > 0:46:25the 1970s, Reliant was the largest consumer of glass fibre in Europe.
0:46:25 > 0:46:28Even to this day, this remains the second best
0:46:28 > 0:46:34selling plastic car in history, after the Chevrolet Corvette.
0:46:35 > 0:46:41Unlike other three-wheelers, the Reliant's single wheel was at the front rather than the back.
0:46:41 > 0:46:46I've always been rather worried that this might have a profound effect
0:46:46 > 0:46:47on the handling.
0:46:51 > 0:46:55That's why I'm so scared about the challenge which has been set for me today.
0:46:55 > 0:47:04I have to drive that car all the way from here, on the outskirts of Sheffield, to a pigeon loft here,
0:47:04 > 0:47:06in Rotherham.
0:47:06 > 0:47:10That's a distance of 14 miles.
0:47:12 > 0:47:16On the way, there will be many perils such as roundabouts,
0:47:16 > 0:47:22pedestrian crossings, pedestrians and traffic lights.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27That's why I'm wearing a helmet.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29It's also why I insisted the car was fitted with a four-point
0:47:29 > 0:47:37safety harness, because I really genuinely believe that what I'm about to do is as dangerous as...
0:47:37 > 0:47:41Inviting you mum round for an evening on Chat Roulette. Why?
0:47:46 > 0:47:48Here we go. Reliant Robin.
0:47:56 > 0:48:00Oh, no. I've crashed it. I've crashed it almost immediately.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03I mean, literally, 20 feet.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05I can't get out, obviously.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07I'm completely stuck.
0:48:07 > 0:48:13Luckily, people in the North of England are friendly and keen to help out.
0:48:13 > 0:48:15Excuse me!
0:48:17 > 0:48:19Excuse me...
0:48:19 > 0:48:22Oh heavens, look who it is! It's Phil Oakey.
0:48:22 > 0:48:26Do you think you can push me back on my wheels?
0:48:26 > 0:48:28- Yeah, certainly.- Thanks very much.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33Thank you, so much.
0:48:35 > 0:48:39- Thank you very much, Phil Oakey, out of the Human League!- Pleasure.
0:48:41 > 0:48:46I suppose as a Sheffield boy, Phil Oakey spent a lot of his youth
0:48:46 > 0:48:50putting Robin Reliants back on their wheels.
0:48:50 > 0:48:53When he wasn't rescuing waitresses from cocktail...
0:48:53 > 0:48:58Oh! Help!
0:48:58 > 0:49:01Again! Help!
0:49:01 > 0:49:05Where's Martin Fry out of ABC when you need him?
0:49:09 > 0:49:12That's a...useful feature.
0:49:18 > 0:49:23In the early days, the Robin had a 750cc engine.
0:49:24 > 0:49:32With 32 brake horse power on tap, 0-50 took 22 seconds. 0-60...
0:49:32 > 0:49:34wasn't really possible.
0:49:34 > 0:49:40In 1975 though, Reliant fitted an 850cc engine.
0:49:40 > 0:49:44This improved the acceleration enormously.
0:49:44 > 0:49:47But the consequences were catastrophic...
0:49:54 > 0:49:56The lamppost!
0:49:56 > 0:50:02The big engine increased the top speed too... It would now do 85.
0:50:02 > 0:50:06That was catastrophic as well.
0:50:09 > 0:50:11Not again!
0:50:11 > 0:50:17Oh no! I'm 50 years old.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20I'm on the side of a street in Sheffield.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26Oh, is that the sound of somebody?
0:50:26 > 0:50:30Hello? Peter Stringfellow!
0:50:33 > 0:50:36Were you just walking by, or...
0:50:36 > 0:50:38Nearly!
0:50:38 > 0:50:40Yes!
0:50:40 > 0:50:43Thank you so much, Peter Stringfellow out of lap dancing clubs.
0:50:43 > 0:50:46- My pleasure. - I can't thank you enough.
0:50:49 > 0:50:56To try and understand why the Robin was so popular up north, I pulled over to chat to some enthusiasts.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06- How do you drive a Reliant? - Straight lines.
0:51:06 > 0:51:08You don't go round roundabouts.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11You get to it and you see where you're coming off, and you go straight across.
0:51:11 > 0:51:14Try to avoid t'hill in t'middle.
0:51:14 > 0:51:17- Cement on the passenger seat.- Cement?
0:51:17 > 0:51:20Sack of cement on t'passenger seat belt, helps the balance.
0:51:20 > 0:51:24Why do you think Reliant owners have big tool boxes?
0:51:24 > 0:51:26To weigh it down. I was going to say...
0:51:26 > 0:51:29Your teeth, did you lose these in a Reliant accident?
0:51:29 > 0:51:31You did, didn't you?
0:51:31 > 0:51:35Why do you think, everybody, Reliants were so popular in t'North?
0:51:35 > 0:51:40- The miners used them. - But why? Because they were more expensive than Minis.
0:51:40 > 0:51:46Because a lot of miners originally started with motorbikes, and they didn't have a full driving licence.
0:51:46 > 0:51:51So to get out of t'weather in winter when it were absolutely siling it down,
0:51:51 > 0:51:56- they bought a Reliant. - So it was just because miners didn't have a driving licence?
0:51:56 > 0:51:59Some of them. But other ones, also in t'winter, with them being light,
0:51:59 > 0:52:05you'd get your normal car stuck in t'snow or whatever.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07These just simply glide over top.
0:52:07 > 0:52:10Until you get to a corner!
0:52:10 > 0:52:13Well, long as you live somewhere with a straight line to t'pit.
0:52:17 > 0:52:21Soon, I was back on my perilous journey.
0:52:21 > 0:52:27In this, it feels like I'm driving through South Yorkshire in the 1970s, again.
0:52:29 > 0:52:33I grew up not far from here, so did James May, for that matter.
0:52:36 > 0:52:39When I were a lad round 'ere, all t'rich people, them as could
0:52:39 > 0:52:43afford four wheels on the car, they all had Ladas.
0:52:43 > 0:52:48Lah-de-dahs we called them. You didn't want to hit one of them,
0:52:48 > 0:52:51I'll tell you that for nowt, they were built like tanks.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56One of the best ways to protect your Robin was to lavish it with
0:52:56 > 0:53:03an exotic paint job, such as this Starsky And Hutch homage.
0:53:03 > 0:53:07The idea was that having spent many hours with the spray cans
0:53:07 > 0:53:10and the masking tape, you'd drive more carefully.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13But this didn't always work.
0:53:20 > 0:53:25It really is a wonder how anyone in the North survived the 1970s.
0:53:25 > 0:53:28Of course, a lot didn't.
0:53:28 > 0:53:34In 1971, the population of Sheffield was 573,000.
0:53:34 > 0:53:40Since then, it's dropped to just 513,000.
0:53:40 > 0:53:47Some of the lost 60,000 moved south, of course.
0:53:47 > 0:53:52But many, many, many more were wiped out by their three-wheelers.
0:53:57 > 0:54:04Today, of course, most of the Robins are gone and people up here drive Kias and Hyundais instead.
0:54:04 > 0:54:08This means the local TV news channel has to think of things
0:54:08 > 0:54:12other than Reliant crashes to put in its bulletins.
0:54:18 > 0:54:25To Braithwell in South Yorkshire and a blooming mystery that's baffling its green-fingered residents.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27Harry is there for us. Harry, what's going on?
0:54:27 > 0:54:29Welcome to beautiful Braithwell.
0:54:29 > 0:54:33You can see the sun exploding on a kaleidoscope of colour.
0:54:33 > 0:54:37I have to say, there has been a real area of controversy here, because over the last few days... My God!
0:54:43 > 0:54:46- Are you all right, sir? - I'm getting used to it now, thanks.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48Thanks, very much.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51If you could just pop me back on the wheels.
0:54:53 > 0:54:55Thank you, so much.
0:54:55 > 0:54:58- Thank you, Harry Grayson, out of Look North.- Pleasure.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00Thank you, so much.
0:55:14 > 0:55:18The Reliant three-wheeler soldiered on until 2001,
0:55:18 > 0:55:22but then with the mines gone, the customer base dried up.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24And it was gone too.
0:55:24 > 0:55:31I don't know why Jasper Carrot ever thought that this could be the basis for a joke.
0:55:31 > 0:55:37I don't know why we all laughed at Del Boy's Reliant, because it wasn't funny.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39It was a complete menace.
0:55:47 > 0:55:50Oh, God!
0:55:50 > 0:55:52Oh, dear.
0:55:52 > 0:55:54Oh, dear. Look at the pitch.
0:55:54 > 0:55:58I'm very glad I've put these safety things in.
0:55:59 > 0:56:03That's marvellous, thank you. Oh yes, that's comfortable.
0:56:03 > 0:56:08Thank you, very much. That's Dickie Bird MBE out of cricket umpiring here, he's not pleased.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11It's a cricket match on here!
0:56:20 > 0:56:25After this latest accident, I decided to see if there was
0:56:25 > 0:56:28some way of correcting the car's flawed design.
0:56:28 > 0:56:33I therefore found a workshop and cued the music.
0:56:37 > 0:56:40Oh, God, I've driven into the inspection pit.
0:56:40 > 0:56:45Soon though, the car was out, and we set to work.
0:56:53 > 0:56:57What staggers me most of all is that the Reliant was engineered and built
0:56:57 > 0:57:04in Tamworth in Staffordshire, and Tamworth over the years has produced many, many brilliant men.
0:57:04 > 0:57:09It was a Tamworth man who captured one of the Enigma coding machines from the Germans in the war.
0:57:09 > 0:57:14It's a Tamworth man who fronts The Teardrop Explodes.
0:57:14 > 0:57:17I mean, how many more do you want?
0:57:17 > 0:57:22So, how come no one in this town of excellence was able to see
0:57:22 > 0:57:26that the Reliant could be fixed in a trifle?
0:57:31 > 0:57:34How brilliant is this?
0:57:34 > 0:57:36It's still a three-wheeler.
0:57:36 > 0:57:39You still only pay motorcycle tax, but now,
0:57:39 > 0:57:41thanks to these stabilisers...
0:57:41 > 0:57:44it can't roll over any more.
0:57:51 > 0:57:54I only had six miles of the journey left.
0:57:54 > 0:57:57But with my new anti-capsize solution in place,
0:57:57 > 0:58:00I knew nothing could go wrong.
0:58:01 > 0:58:04And I knew that right up to the moment...
0:58:04 > 0:58:06when it did.
0:58:06 > 0:58:07Oh, my God!
0:58:07 > 0:58:09Oh, no!
0:58:20 > 0:58:23APPLAUSE
0:58:23 > 0:58:25Neck broken, and drowned.
0:58:25 > 0:58:28APPLAUSE
0:58:28 > 0:58:30So...
0:58:30 > 0:58:34You can save £55 off your annual motoring costs?
0:58:34 > 0:58:35Yes, you can.
0:58:35 > 0:58:37But you will be killed doing it?
0:58:37 > 0:58:38Yes, you will.
0:58:38 > 0:58:42And on that bombshell, it is time to end what I think has been a very serious show.
0:58:42 > 0:58:45I think we should congratulate ourselves on that.
0:58:45 > 0:58:46Very good work, well done.
0:58:46 > 0:58:49We'll see you next week for more sensible buying advice.
0:58:49 > 0:58:54Thank you so much for watching and do please remember, drive safely.
0:59:12 > 0:59:16Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:59:16 > 0:59:20E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk