0:00:12 > 0:00:14Tonight, Richard wears a towel.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17James and I eat some crisps.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21And The Fly is in our reasonably priced car.
0:00:27 > 0:00:28CHEERING
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Hello! Hello! Thank you.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Thank you so much. Thank you very much.
0:00:33 > 0:00:38Now, there's a new Ferrari that has come out
0:00:38 > 0:00:43and the obvious person to test it is, of course, James May, because he actually owns a Ferrari.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Um...
0:00:45 > 0:00:49He does. He doesn't like to tell people. Oh no, I have, I just told everyone. OK, anyway.
0:00:49 > 0:00:54Because he likes to keep it a secret, someone else had to do it.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:01:13 > 0:01:16ENGINE REVS
0:01:19 > 0:01:21This is all a bit strange.
0:01:22 > 0:01:27Because the 458 has a paddle-operated gearbox,
0:01:27 > 0:01:32someone obviously thought that life back here would be a bit complicated
0:01:32 > 0:01:36if there were traditional indicator and wiper stalks as well,
0:01:36 > 0:01:39so they've got rid of them.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42The buttons which control these things
0:01:42 > 0:01:44are now on the steering wheel,
0:01:44 > 0:01:48along with other buttons for the headlights, the suspension settings, the dim dip,
0:01:48 > 0:01:52the sidelights, the traction control, and the starter motor.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58And you don't have to drive very far to realise the problem this creates.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04The thing about a steering wheel is, it moves.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07So none of the buttons are ever where you left them.
0:02:07 > 0:02:12I mean, if I want to turn left now, I have to push this one on the right.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15There, that's the left-hand indicator.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18And if I want to turn on the lights...
0:02:18 > 0:02:20er...
0:02:21 > 0:02:23No, that's not it.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27This isn't like driving. It's like playing Pelmanism.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29And there's more.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32You see, there are two screens on either side of the rev counter,
0:02:32 > 0:02:34so the one on the left tells me all sorts of things I'm not
0:02:34 > 0:02:42really very interested in and the one on the right is a speedo or a satnav screen.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45You can't have both at the same time, so,
0:02:45 > 0:02:49you know where you are, you just don't know how fast you're going.
0:02:50 > 0:02:56This is likely to make life a bit botty-clenching when you go past a speed camera.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Still, at least when you do, and they send you a snap,
0:02:59 > 0:03:06you'll be able to pin it on the wall, and that will be nice, because my God, this car is pretty.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Of course, you probably think all Ferraris are pretty.
0:03:11 > 0:03:17But truth be told, the majority aren't, not really. Striking, yes. But pretty?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19No.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22This one, for example, is just vulgar.
0:03:22 > 0:03:27And even James's Ferrari, the 430, was a bit wrong.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30That smiling front end - it looked like a simpleton.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34This, though...
0:03:34 > 0:03:39I think this is the first properly pretty Ferrari since the 308 came along
0:03:39 > 0:03:41back in 1975.
0:03:44 > 0:03:49Interestingly, though, Ferrari say it isn't art. They say it's science.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52For example, they say that when a wheel is turning,
0:03:52 > 0:03:56it forces air to move around in here, creating a high pressure, so,
0:03:56 > 0:04:00they fitted these vents here which channel air along here,
0:04:00 > 0:04:03pushing the car back down again.
0:04:03 > 0:04:08They say, too, that these veins here on the front are forced down when the car is going quickly
0:04:08 > 0:04:15by 20mm and that channels more air underneath the car, creating more downforce.
0:04:16 > 0:04:22All that may be true, but I still maintain that those chiselled front wings, the way they go...
0:04:22 > 0:04:26They're like Kristin Scott Thomas's cheekbones.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33And it isn't just looks where it leaps ahead of the old 430.
0:04:34 > 0:04:41That car produced 483 horsepower, so, of course, you'd expect this to produce a bit more.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42490.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Maybe 495.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48But you'd be wrong.
0:04:51 > 0:04:57Because this produces a stratospheric 562 horsepower.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03It would be interesting, therefore, to see how much faster this is
0:05:03 > 0:05:06than the now defunct 430, but there's a problem.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08You see, this is James's actual car.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12The car in which he keeps a little brush for cleaning the air vents.
0:05:12 > 0:05:17And he said we could borrow it providing we didn't fiddle with any of the settings or make it dirty
0:05:17 > 0:05:19in any way.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26These chocolate bars just go everywhere.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31Um...anyway, he also said I wasn't to...
0:05:31 > 0:05:37drive it quickly. He made me promise that I wouldn't, for instance, do a drag race with it and I said,
0:05:37 > 0:05:43"James, I give you my word, I will not drive your car fast at all."
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I didn't, however, say anything about HIM.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55OK, we're both going to use launch control.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00Push that button there. That absolutely knackers the clutch in a 430.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04It will be OK in this, cos it has a double-clutch system.
0:06:07 > 0:06:103, 2, 1, go!
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Whoa! That is nought to 60 in 3.4 seconds.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24James's car is gone!
0:06:25 > 0:06:27It's just a humiliation!
0:06:29 > 0:06:344.5 litres of V8 revving to 9,000!
0:06:42 > 0:06:44I have no idea how fast I'm going now.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50I just know I'm somewhere near Guildford.
0:06:56 > 0:07:01So, the new car doesn't just beat the old one, it humiliates it.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Destroys it. Crushes it.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09I think if I'd just bought a 430, I'd be feeling suicidal now.
0:07:09 > 0:07:14That sense that you could never drive it again, that you'd just look like such an idiot.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17Oh.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20But now it's time to answer the big one.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23What's the 458 like as a driver's car?
0:07:23 > 0:07:29What's it like when you show that glorious, finely-boned nose a whiff of track?
0:07:30 > 0:07:33You probably think it'll be brilliant.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36You probably imagine all Ferraris are magnificent
0:07:36 > 0:07:42when you put the hammer down, but again, the truth is, they aren't.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47The 348, for example, felt like it had tyres made from wood.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51The 275 had milk-bottle tops for brakes.
0:07:51 > 0:07:56The engine in an F50 felt like it was bolted directly to your spine.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02And the 400 was simply awful in every way.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06So, the 458, then.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10All face and no trousers?
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Let's find out.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17ENGINE ROARS
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Oh, my God!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28This is incredible!
0:08:30 > 0:08:33It just feels so light.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36HE CHORTLES
0:08:39 > 0:08:43I never used to like flappy-panel gearboxes, but this is just sensational.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49What an astonishing car!
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Because the rear of the car is so planted,
0:08:55 > 0:09:02thanks to its new suspension system, they've been able to fit super-fast steering.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Bang! The nose just darts in.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Ahhh!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13What a machine!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18This is beyond anything.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22And listen to that noise.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24ENGINE ROARS
0:09:24 > 0:09:27It sounds like a bear, a burning bear.
0:09:35 > 0:09:42I know this is £170,000, and that's a lot even by Ferrari standards...
0:09:43 > 0:09:45..but I don't care.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50I don't care about the bonkers dash, I wouldn't even care if this thing ate one of my legs.
0:09:53 > 0:10:01The 458 is one of the all-time greats and I promise I'm not saying that just to upset James.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09It really is absolutely,
0:10:09 > 0:10:15unbelievably, mesmerisingly brilliant.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20CHEERING
0:10:23 > 0:10:26I think that might have been a bit ambiguous, that's the problem.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- Yeah.- I really, genuinely
0:10:28 > 0:10:33believe this. I think this is better than an F40.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37I never thought I'd say that, but it is unbelievably good.
0:10:37 > 0:10:43- Let me just get this straight, in evolutionary terms, Ferrari started with, like, an amoeba.- Yeah.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Then they evolved a bit to plankton.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49Then some sort of creature that crawled out of the slime, that's where James bought in.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Yeah, he jumped in. Then they leapt forward, really,
0:10:51 > 0:10:56- and what we ended up with is Stephen Fry with Keira Knightley's face. - So one massive leap.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- One massive leap...- From where James's was to the next one.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02- Are you finished? - No, you are.- Completely.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06- Can never drive your car again. - Not in the hours of daylight anyway, mate, no.- No, you can't.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10You ate a chocolate bar in my car.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12It doesn't matter, you can't drive it anymore.
0:11:12 > 0:11:17Anyway, we must now find out how fast, how much faster, this goes
0:11:17 > 0:11:22around our track then your useless old car that you can't drive any more.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25That, of course, means handing it over to our team racing driver.
0:11:25 > 0:11:32Some say that he's recently been releasing pop records under the pseudonym of Lady Gaga.
0:11:32 > 0:11:39And that under his race suit, he also wears a red G-string and suspenders.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43All we know is, he's called The Stig!
0:11:44 > 0:11:51And, he's off. No drama, no fuss, launch control taking care of everything.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Already looking better than a 430, or the "idiot's Ferrari", as it's now known.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Smoothly through the first corner, very nice indeed.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02# More than a woman... #
0:12:02 > 0:12:07Was that "bald-headed woman"? Weird lyric. Right, OK.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12Out of Chicago, still looking pretty tidy and very pretty indeed.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15And ahead, will this expose any problems?
0:12:16 > 0:12:22Not a bit of it. If I had a criticism, it's this car is almost too technical, too precise.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24# ..people so in love like you... #
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Still, better than a 430.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Now, follow-through, yeah, lovely, around 570 horsepower working hard.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Quick through the tyres and sounding good.
0:12:34 > 0:12:40Two corners left. Like Tom Cruise in IKEA, this car is so smooth, it makes it look effortless.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Through Gambon on all four wheels. Across the line!
0:12:45 > 0:12:47OK. Now...
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Here's James's car, look, the Ferrari 430.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58One month, 22 days, uh...and nine hours.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00458, 119.1.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02So look at that.
0:13:02 > 0:13:08Almost exactly the same time as an Enzo.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Kind of makes the Enzo look a bit silly, doesn't it?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Maybe James should get an Enzo now?
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Could be the right car.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Now, just briefly, has anybody this week seen this in the newspapers?
0:13:22 > 0:13:27It's the most ridiculous...I think it was actually an accent thing,
0:13:27 > 0:13:31because what she actually said was "revolting", but it came out like "fantastic".
0:13:31 > 0:13:34No, I think actually what's happened here is
0:13:34 > 0:13:39they've had to cut the quote to make it fit on the newspaper and they've had to take out
0:13:39 > 0:13:42"an imbecile but James May is..."
0:13:42 > 0:13:48No, she didn't say that, James, because you didn't say one word to her when she was here. Or you!
0:13:48 > 0:13:53Tom Cruise arrived last week, these two, "Oh, Tom, I've got a motorbike as well,
0:13:53 > 0:13:58"would you like to buy leather trousers and go off into the countryside any drink orange juice?"
0:13:58 > 0:14:03We couldn't get near to Cameron because she was entirely surrounded by you.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05She hugged me three times.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09She's an actress, she was pretending, you Muppet.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13- Not in my mind, she wasn't. - She was remembering the advice.
0:14:13 > 0:14:18"Now, Cameron, hug the big monster and pretend it's not scary".
0:14:18 > 0:14:21I'm now on her to-do list.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27You're on her restraining order list, it's the only list you're on.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32Anyway, the news. As you probably saw if you were watching the Grand Prix coverage last weekend,
0:14:32 > 0:14:35the Williams team bought Rubens Barrichello a T-shirt.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Here he is wearing it.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38LAUGHTER
0:14:38 > 0:14:40He looks really happy there.
0:14:40 > 0:14:41He is really happy.
0:14:41 > 0:14:46He's so happy, he's bought the other Grand Prix drivers who have been down to Top Gear T-shirts.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48And here's Jenson Button wearing his.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Aw! LAUGHTER
0:14:50 > 0:14:55I think that demonstrates that somebody in Formula One has got a sense of humour.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Now, Peter Mandelson, you may remember, he introduced
0:14:58 > 0:15:01the scrappage scheme, the idea being that, if you bought a new car,
0:15:01 > 0:15:06you could get £2,000 for your old one, irrespective of its actual value.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10So many people took him up on his offer, they couldn't crush the cars fast enough.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12They were building up on airfields.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16We've got a picture of the scale of the problem. I kid you not.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20If you zoom in on the cars here that we are talking about, look at this.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- That's a Mercedes A-class. - There's a Mercedes E-class here.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25- That's a nice Freelander there. - I know.- These are just cars.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29There's another picture here with some 4x4s.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32I'm sorry, but look at that - there are Cherokees and Shoguns.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34I know, a Land Rover as well.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38The thing is, why didn't they just ring the Taliban and say,
0:15:38 > 0:15:44"Look, if you stop shooting at us, we'll give you a 1997 Shogun we've got parked."
0:15:44 > 0:15:47We ought to make it clear, that under the scrappage scheme,
0:15:47 > 0:15:51the cars that were taken off the road have to be scrapped. They can't be sold.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54All these cars HAVE to be scrapped.
0:15:54 > 0:16:00All the energy that went into making these cars, now all the energy that's going into crushing them,
0:16:00 > 0:16:03then the energy that goes into making new cars for people
0:16:03 > 0:16:06who wouldn't have bought new cars if it wasn't for this scheme.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09All true. The BBC got some stick this week for allegedly
0:16:09 > 0:16:12over-promoting Peter Mandelson's new book,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14so let's redress that balance. Don't buy it.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Nice. That's balanced it up a treat. That's even, it's fair.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19APPLAUSE
0:16:22 > 0:16:25HE MOUTHS
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Now, there's a new Nissan Micra out.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29And that is the end of the news.
0:16:31 > 0:16:36Now, a while back, our producers said to us that we ought to make a film explaining why
0:16:36 > 0:16:42classic British sports cars like these were so awful and terrible and horrible in every way
0:16:42 > 0:16:46that people went out and bought hot hatchbacks instead.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49But we didn't agree. We said, "British sports cars weren't horrible."
0:16:49 > 0:16:53- And then there was a bit of a row. - Huge row, massive.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57What we said to the producers was, "Top Gear is shown all over the world.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01- "And even if British cars were terrible..."- Which they're not.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04"..Even if British sports cars were terrible,
0:17:04 > 0:17:08"we're not rushing around the country saying, "Everything's horrible here.""
0:17:08 > 0:17:13Crocodile Dundee never went into the outback and said, "It's too hot and it's full of spiders."
0:17:13 > 0:17:18Jack Bauer doesn't run around America saying, "Don't come, it's full of terrorists", does he?
0:17:18 > 0:17:21The producers, though, were most insistent.
0:17:21 > 0:17:26So they gave each of us £5,000 and told us to buy a classic British sports car with it.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30And then we were told to report with our cars to the Lotus factory
0:17:30 > 0:17:35in Norfolk where, as usual, we would be given some challenges.
0:17:38 > 0:17:45'I was the first to arrive in a car from my era - the superb Jensen Healey.'
0:17:45 > 0:17:48This is a beauty.
0:17:48 > 0:17:55Built by Jensen, designed by the father-and-son team that brought us the Healey 3-litre,
0:17:55 > 0:18:03styled by the same man who did the Aston Martin Lagonda, and powered by a twin-cam Lotus engine.
0:18:03 > 0:18:08You really can think of this, then, as being like one of those old '70s supergroups -
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Will Young, but...
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Oh, hey up. Here we go. Speak of the devil.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20James, that is magnificent!
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- A TVR-S from your period.- It is. It's the TVR S2, actually.
0:18:23 > 0:18:29- S2?- Yeah, 170 horsepower, Cologne Ford V6 from Granada.- Absolutely.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34No, this was superb. And the other thing about these... Can you open the boot?
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- Yes. Yes, I can.- You know on the Antiques Roadshow?- Yes.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41They always look behind the clock face and they can tell who made it.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Yes, the maker's mark.
0:18:43 > 0:18:48Yeah, well, normally on a TVR, if you look underneath the carpets or the roof lining or something
0:18:48 > 0:18:51like that, you often find a clue as to who built the car.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- Have you got something? - Yes. There you go.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56This was made by a man called...
0:18:56 > 0:18:58- Nobby?- Nobby, I think. Yes, Nobby.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00You just don't get that on a...
0:19:00 > 0:19:02- On a Golf, say.- Or a Ferrari.- No.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05'As we admired our wonderful cars,
0:19:05 > 0:19:12'Richard arrived in a little gem from his youth - a Lotus Elan.'
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Oh, yes!
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Oh, ho-ho!
0:19:16 > 0:19:19It's come back, it's come home!
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Yep, it has. It's a poetic moment, actually.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- The last Elan, here, back at Lotus. - That's terrific.
0:19:25 > 0:19:31- It is.- I remember when this came out, that square stance it had. Nobody had built a square car before.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34No, nobody had done that. Yeah, there were reasons for that.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37The plastic used to shrink and they didn't know
0:19:37 > 0:19:39that the suppliers had come up with a new plastic
0:19:39 > 0:19:42that didn't shrink. So it was wider than expected.
0:19:42 > 0:19:47- This is ingenuity, making the best of it.- It was the same, the TVR - plastic.- There's something
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- about the plastic body. - The engine in this wasn't Lotus.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55No, it's Isuzu. But that's Japanese - reliable. When they tested one of these,
0:19:55 > 0:19:58they ran it round a racetrack for 24 hours straight.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- And for 22 of those hours, it didn't break down.- Seriously?
0:20:01 > 0:20:04'As we chatted, a challenge arrived.'
0:20:04 > 0:20:06You read it, Hammond.
0:20:06 > 0:20:11"You will now race around the Lotus test track to see which of your ridiculous cars is best..."
0:20:11 > 0:20:13"Ridiculous"? Steady on.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15It actually says "ridiculous".
0:20:15 > 0:20:22It goes on. "..and then you must put The Stig in a car that wiped your British sports cars off the map -
0:20:22 > 0:20:25"a Peugeot 205 GTI - and set a time."
0:20:25 > 0:20:32What, he seriously thinks a crummy little French hatchback can beat these purpose-built cars?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Have we got to get the Peugeot?- It says we've got to put him in it, yes.
0:20:35 > 0:20:40'First, though, we did some laps in our classic British sports cars.'
0:20:45 > 0:20:52Oh, that this is a stirring scene - three great British sports cars haring across the British landscape.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56I love the sound of a twin-cam.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00It's engine noise you're hearing.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01MECHANICAL GRINDING
0:21:01 > 0:21:04That's not... Oh, deary me.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05- CLICK - There we go!
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Yes! I knew there'd be one there if I looked hard enough.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12This car is, of course, very light.
0:21:12 > 0:21:18It weighs just 987 kilograms because it's made from canoe-building materials.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Sorry, scrap that. Because it's made from composites.
0:21:21 > 0:21:28Critically, the Elan is front-wheel drive because it's just better.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32At the same time this car was coming out,
0:21:32 > 0:21:36Mazda were bringing out the MX-5. Rear-wheel drive, old-fashioned.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40As a result, the MX-5 never REALLY caught on.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43I mean it sold in MASSIVE numbers for decades,
0:21:43 > 0:21:47but it didn't have the same exclusivity that the Elan did,
0:21:47 > 0:21:52which never sold in the same vulgar, brash numbers.
0:21:54 > 0:22:00Sometimes with this engine, you do notice that the oil pressure could drop alarmingly in a fast corner.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05It's OK, the engine would never blow up because normally the water pump would go first.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07A very useful feature, that.
0:22:09 > 0:22:14When you press the throttle in the TVR, there is a slight delay before anything happens.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19A lot of people thought this was a fault, but actually it's a very innovative safety feature.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20I'll demonstrate.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24You're driving along, you press the throttle, the car says, "Are you sure?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- ENGINE REVS - "Oh, all right, then."
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Look at that TVR in my mirror.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34And that Jensen, cornering so flat.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40A little bit of history for you.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43After the Second World War, which we won,
0:22:43 > 0:22:47Britain was littered with disused airfields,
0:22:47 > 0:22:52and many of them - like this one, in fact - were converted into racetracks.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56And it was on these twisting, turning racetracks
0:22:56 > 0:22:59that the lightweight, nimble British sports car
0:22:59 > 0:23:02was sort of developed and honed.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04HE LAUGHS
0:23:04 > 0:23:07'We could have gone round all day.
0:23:07 > 0:23:12'But the producers said we must pull in and post our lap times.'
0:23:12 > 0:23:14The time has come, Hammond.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Would you reveal your fastest lap?
0:23:17 > 0:23:22- My fastest lap in my Lotus Elan was 2:09.- 2:09.- Blistering.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26- That is. There's no other word. - It felt right here.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31- James.- TVR S2, my fastest lap time was 2:15.9.
0:23:31 > 0:23:372:15.9. And here, the 1970s Jensen Healey, 2:17.9. So what we can see here is progress.
0:23:37 > 0:23:43As you'd expect from the British sports car industry. That's very good, That's even better...
0:23:43 > 0:23:45The cars have come on, decade by decade.
0:23:45 > 0:23:51And now it's time to find out how fast The Stig can go round in this Peugeot 205 GTI.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55- It doesn't look like a GTI. - No, no, I couldn't get a GTI, so I got a diesel.
0:23:55 > 0:24:00- And they're basically the same. - Yeah, same thing, pretty much. - OK, Stig, start it up.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02ENGINE REVS
0:24:02 > 0:24:04TYRES SCREECH
0:24:04 > 0:24:08'The Stig wound up the Peugeot and began his flying lap.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11- 'Here we go, and...- Timing! - ..go!
0:24:11 > 0:24:18OK, we're off. I think the reason I couldn't get a GTI, I suspect,
0:24:18 > 0:24:23is because they've all rusted away or been crashed or fallen to pieces.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26The handling was terrible on those. They were crashed a lot.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30- Any faults with your car?- No. - Any faults with yours?- No.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35Did you know, in the whole history of TVR, there is no recorded incident of one ever breaking down?
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I've heard that.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39And here he comes...
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- Yes!- 2:09, 2:15, 2:17 for us.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45RICHARD LAUGHS
0:24:45 > 0:24:51- 2:22.0.- Point, I think, proven. - I don't think we need to go on.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56Well, we seem to have another challenge. I don't know what it can possibly say.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00"You will drive from the Lotus factory, now owned by the Malaysians
0:25:00 > 0:25:05- "because the British made such a mess of everything when they were in charge..."- Come on!
0:25:05 > 0:25:07That's not strictly true.
0:25:07 > 0:25:13"..to the grave of TVR in Blackpool, via the site of the long-gone Jensen factory in the West Midlands.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15"This is a journey of 280 miles..."
0:25:15 > 0:25:19And that, in kilometres, is 5,000.
0:25:19 > 0:25:24- Just over.- "..which is impossible in your cars, but no problem at all for The Stig,
0:25:24 > 0:25:30"who will be shadowing you in a practical, well-made, much-faster Vauxhall Astra GSi."
0:25:35 > 0:25:38'We lined up on the start line
0:25:38 > 0:25:42'for our trip across Britain's historic and beautiful Midlands.'
0:25:42 > 0:25:45I've never looked forward to a journey more.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49We do have a magnificent flag in Britain.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53I mean, that one's on upside-down, but...
0:25:53 > 0:25:54beautiful flag.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57OK, let the journey commence.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Oh, Lord!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Oh, dear! Is that the Astra?
0:26:09 > 0:26:14- That was a known fault, that they would blow up sometimes. Don't you remember that?- Yeah.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17I had two friends who had those and they blew up.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21Annoying, because if you're late and you think, "I'll get in the car." Bang! Oh, dear.
0:26:21 > 0:26:27So there we are. What we can deduce here is the GERMAN-made hatchback -
0:26:27 > 0:26:30the GERMAN-made hatchback - has exploded.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34And all the BRITISH-made sports cars are working perfectly.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36- Hang on.- What?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38- It won't start.- Oh!
0:26:39 > 0:26:44'In a jiffy, though, we got the fabulous TVR going again and set off.'
0:26:47 > 0:26:52It is extraordinary, when you look at the British car industry today,
0:26:52 > 0:26:56to think what it was like in the past. I mean,
0:26:56 > 0:27:03in 1913, there were 140 different car makers in Britain. 140.
0:27:04 > 0:27:10In 1946, we exported 98,000 cars
0:27:10 > 0:27:16and imported 63. Not 63,000 - 63 in total.
0:27:16 > 0:27:21It just beggars belief that it's all gone so wrong so fast.
0:27:25 > 0:27:26Ah.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29Yeah, that's one of the clips
0:27:29 > 0:27:35that holds the roof on at the front. Fallen off.
0:27:35 > 0:27:41Here's the thing, Lotus has always been about lightness,
0:27:41 > 0:27:48and by shedding parts like this roof clip that's proven to be extraneous - it can survive perfectly well
0:27:48 > 0:27:52with just one on this side - it's making itself lighter.
0:27:56 > 0:28:03Look at England. It's beautiful. I'll just wipe the windscreen so you can have a better look at it.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07It's marvellous.
0:28:10 > 0:28:15I've just noticed Richard Hammond's number plate, it's an anagram of "liar".
0:28:15 > 0:28:18Which today is very appropriate.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Oh, and James's, look.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23That's an anagram of "gosh".
0:28:23 > 0:28:26That fits as well. A lot of anagrams going on here.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34This is very clever.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38The neat venting system around the driver's window here
0:28:38 > 0:28:42that allows the cooling, refreshing breeze in to keep you alert
0:28:42 > 0:28:46also allows just enough rain to come in, just to splash gently
0:28:46 > 0:28:51against your face and let you know, "It's raining, be careful."
0:28:51 > 0:28:53That's a safety feature.
0:28:53 > 0:28:58'Another safety feature were the fantastically uncomfortable seats
0:28:58 > 0:29:05'fitted to a Jensen, which meant you couldn't drive too far without taking a break.'
0:29:05 > 0:29:08Ah!
0:29:09 > 0:29:11Yep, yep, yep.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13There you go.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17We've done about 20 miles which, if you're watching abroad, is about 700 or 800 kilometres.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22Oh, do come on!
0:29:22 > 0:29:28And my back... I mean, after a distance like that, your back is going to suffer a bit.
0:29:28 > 0:29:311989, this car had a mobile phone fitted.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35I imagine it was enormous.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38£37, £38 to fill it up.
0:29:38 > 0:29:42That's about 50 US cents to fill it.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45Just pop that shut.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11While they attempt to close my petrol filler cap,
0:30:11 > 0:30:15I'm going to choose some music for the next leg of the journey.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18And a good thing about having an eight-track is that
0:30:18 > 0:30:23you can't get N-Dubz in this format, or Basement Jaxx.
0:30:23 > 0:30:28It's just good stuff - Blue Oyster Cult, Elton John, Bowie.
0:30:31 > 0:30:35# They call them the diamond dogs
0:30:36 > 0:30:38# Young girl... #
0:30:38 > 0:30:44'We ploughed on and soon we reached the beautiful city of Birmingham.'
0:30:44 > 0:30:48There are more shopping trolleys in the canals here than there are in Venice.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52This is right in the heart of car-building territory.
0:30:52 > 0:30:58I mean, my grandfather was in the car-building business, everybody was.
0:31:00 > 0:31:07'Eventually, we arrived in the beauty spot that is Carters Green, West Bromwich.
0:31:07 > 0:31:15'And it was here in this very factory that Jeremy's Jensen was born.'
0:31:15 > 0:31:18Think of all the people you've got ramming through doors,
0:31:18 > 0:31:21full of optimism, "I've got a brilliant idea!"
0:31:21 > 0:31:22- Through there.- Yeah.
0:31:24 > 0:31:31'They also made the Interceptor FF here, the first ever four-wheel drive production car.
0:31:31 > 0:31:36'It was the brainchild of this man, Major Tony Rolt,
0:31:36 > 0:31:40'one of the team behind the glider that was built in Colditz.'
0:31:40 > 0:31:46I wonder what he'd actually feel if he could see this place now?
0:31:46 > 0:31:51He'd probably wonder why he ever bothered trying to escape from Colditz, to be honest.
0:31:55 > 0:32:00In the mid-1970s, 26% of the British workforce was employed in some way
0:32:00 > 0:32:03by the manufacturing sector.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06Today, it's 9%.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09It's not that we don't make sports cars any more...
0:32:10 > 0:32:12..we don't make anything.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22'As darkness fell, we headed on to our overnight stop.'
0:32:24 > 0:32:31I've just realised something, it probably looks as though I'm driving along huddled in a towel
0:32:31 > 0:32:37to keep warm and dry because the window won't shut and it's raining in, but that's not the case.
0:32:37 > 0:32:38The window's open
0:32:38 > 0:32:44because it's so warm, and the little bit of drizzle - let's not call it rain - is keeping me cool.
0:32:44 > 0:32:50'Eventually I became so hot I decided I had to pull over to try to seal the gap.'
0:32:50 > 0:32:53Hammond, why are we stopping here?
0:32:53 > 0:32:56'Fearful the producers might be listening, Hammond had to think fast.'
0:32:56 > 0:33:00Picnic! I fancied a picnic.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03Just soak it in, enjoy the view.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05- Do you want some crisps? - Yes, please.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07- Cornish pasty?- Lovely.
0:33:07 > 0:33:13- See that church?- Mmm?- That was built in the Italian Renaissance.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16- Really? - You should see the frescoes inside.
0:33:18 > 0:33:19HE SIGHS
0:33:26 > 0:33:28LAUGHTER
0:33:28 > 0:33:33- TAPE DECK CLICKS - # All night long You've been looking at me... #
0:33:33 > 0:33:39'Picnic over, we cruised to our overnight halt with our cars still running beautifully.'
0:33:39 > 0:33:40# Oh, well now... #
0:33:40 > 0:33:43MECHANICAL GRINDING
0:33:44 > 0:33:47OVER WALKIE-TALKIE: 'Have you just run something over?'
0:33:47 > 0:33:51Just a warning noise to tell you you're on full lock.
0:33:51 > 0:33:55OVER WALKIE-TALKIE: 'That's a safety feature.'
0:33:55 > 0:33:57Edit that out.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:00 > 0:34:03We'll pick that up later on.
0:34:03 > 0:34:09But now it's time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
0:34:09 > 0:34:14A couple of weeks ago we had Andy Garcia, last week, Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz,
0:34:14 > 0:34:19so we were thinking, "Well, there's no way we'll be able to get a big Hollywood name this week."
0:34:19 > 0:34:23But then we remembered, "Hang on, Jonathan Ross isn't on any more."
0:34:23 > 0:34:26So, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome -
0:34:26 > 0:34:32star of two of the highest-grossing films of all time - Jeff Goldblum!
0:34:32 > 0:34:34CHEERING
0:34:36 > 0:34:41What an honour! Another hug.
0:34:41 > 0:34:42Not as good as Cameron's.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45Jeff Goldblum, everybody, is here!
0:34:45 > 0:34:49- On our poky motoring show! - Thank you. Thank you.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51Wow!
0:34:51 > 0:34:55What an absolute honour to find someone who's the right size.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57LAUGHTER
0:34:57 > 0:35:02The films we know you best for - well, there are three big ones, obviously, The Fly
0:35:02 > 0:35:05and Jurassic Park and Independence Day - you play a boffin.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- A what?- A boffin, how do we say boffin in American?
0:35:08 > 0:35:12- That must be British speak. - AUDIENCE: A geek.
0:35:12 > 0:35:16But not really... don't say geek. You can't bring Jeff Goldblum on and call him a geek.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19But boffin, that's the British term for...
0:35:19 > 0:35:25- Boffin often means...- Techno person? - Mathematician.- Academic.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29Yeah. I have to ask this, you know Independence Day, you get up there,
0:35:29 > 0:35:32you insert the virus, how did you have the right lead?
0:35:32 > 0:35:35Cos I never have the right lead for my computer,
0:35:35 > 0:35:39and yet you're in this alien spaceship, and I thought that was pretty bloody clever.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42- I was supposed to be very smart. - You were really smart.
0:35:42 > 0:35:48- Figuring things out that you didn't even know I was figuring out. - I was very impressed with that.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50So you are over here in London appearing in...
0:35:50 > 0:35:55A lovely play by the great Neil Simon, called The Prisoner Of Second Avenue
0:35:55 > 0:36:01at the Vaudeville Theatre eight times a week, 7:30 at night, 2:30 on Saturdays and Thursdays...
0:36:01 > 0:36:03And ticket prices...?
0:36:03 > 0:36:04Comfortable seats available?
0:36:04 > 0:36:08Well within their reach. And we do it until the end of September.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12One of the things I'm absolutely fascinated by is, you are a big name, OK?
0:36:12 > 0:36:17You have appeared in, as I've said, two of the highest-grossing films of all time.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21What is it that causes you to say, "I'm going to appear in a play in London?"
0:36:21 > 0:36:24- Why do you want to do that? - Well, the theatre in London...
0:36:24 > 0:36:28London is, first of all, one of the great cities of the world,
0:36:28 > 0:36:34it's just a thrill to be here, and the theatre here has a tradition and a standard of excellence that is
0:36:34 > 0:36:40- the highest anywhere. And so this is the height for me.- So it's acting is what we're talking about here,
0:36:40 > 0:36:46- because you have a great love of acting?- I do.- Now, cars. What do you drive now?
0:36:46 > 0:36:51I've got an SUV Mercedes M-Class. It's an interesting...not so interesting, but here's the story.
0:36:51 > 0:36:56- In 1990... Whenever the second Jurassic Park came out... - The Lost World.- The Lost World.
0:36:56 > 0:37:00..they introduced the M-class, that SUV, Mercedes, in that film.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03They were camouflaged and we took them on the adventure.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05They told me a few months later, when the film came out,
0:37:05 > 0:37:09"Hey, if you show up at one of our international sales meetings
0:37:09 > 0:37:14"and say hello to everybody, we'll give you one." I said, "Oh, OK."
0:37:14 > 0:37:19I did like that. They gave me one and that's the car I'm still driving.
0:37:19 > 0:37:25So you just get a free car and then thought, "Just stick with it?"
0:37:25 > 0:37:27That's correct. In the meantime... I know you have
0:37:27 > 0:37:32strong feelings about this, but I got a Prius several years ago...
0:37:32 > 0:37:34No, no, no... I want to make this quite...
0:37:34 > 0:37:38Since Cameron came here last week, and she's very much in love with me,
0:37:38 > 0:37:44she's converted me to environmentalism, and I like the Prius now because she's got one.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Sweet, sweet.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48Just because she didn't fancy you lot!
0:37:48 > 0:37:52But I want a new car maybe, and I'm open-minded to what
0:37:52 > 0:37:58- is the most environmental - because I like that idea...- As do I.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02- You know? But I want a fun car, too. - Let's see if we can't work out
0:38:02 > 0:38:05what this car should be. What should Jeff drive?
0:38:05 > 0:38:07AUDIENCE SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER
0:38:07 > 0:38:11A Bugatti Veyron, I'm not sure that fulfils
0:38:11 > 0:38:15the environmental side of it. I see you and something Italian.
0:38:15 > 0:38:20My older brother had a love affair with the Lancia Aurelia years ago, and had one.
0:38:20 > 0:38:24He was a car fanatic, and he was restoring it and tinkering with it every day.
0:38:24 > 0:38:30"Tinkering with it" when you have a Lancia is another way of saying "trying to make it start."
0:38:30 > 0:38:35You go to a Lancia and... "I'd better just tinker with it and see if I can coax some life into it!"
0:38:35 > 0:38:38Has anyone else got any more thoughts?
0:38:38 > 0:38:40An Evo?!
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Do you... How stupid do you think he looks?!
0:38:43 > 0:38:48- An Evo, what...?- An Evo, It's a car driven by people who look like this.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52When you say to them, "What do you drive?," they go,
0:38:52 > 0:38:54(NORTHERN ACCENT) "Got an Evo."
0:38:54 > 0:38:55- "Evo."- "Evo."
0:38:55 > 0:38:59That's it. You could have one, actually, you're very good at that.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03Anyway, we get onto the whole business of the day here.
0:39:03 > 0:39:09You arrived and you had, like Christopher Eccleston,
0:39:09 > 0:39:13the actor, the former Dr Who who came down, he could not drive a manual car.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16- So we found an automatic. You say it broke down?- Here's what happened.
0:39:16 > 0:39:22They didn't tell me that the automatic, even at its best, would be slower.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26- Did you not feel that? It's one second slower to 60.- I didn't know. I hadn't done the other one.
0:39:26 > 0:39:31But anyway, luckily it broke down and I thought, "Oh, no, what do I do now?"
0:39:31 > 0:39:33I had to learn the thing, and they told me,
0:39:33 > 0:39:37"This is going to be a little faster car anyway," so I said, "Oh, that's good."
0:39:37 > 0:39:39So you went to the manual. Here's what
0:39:39 > 0:39:45a little bird has told me, you did the entire lap, apart from the start, in third gear?
0:39:46 > 0:39:51Well, this is the first I've heard that that might not be advisable.
0:39:54 > 0:39:59- I said I was... The great teacher... - Yeah.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02- The wizard said... - The Stig, you mean?- Yes!
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Is he a wizard as well?
0:40:04 > 0:40:06He can do anything, he's a magical, magical man.
0:40:06 > 0:40:09He got me through the first... "Here's first, second."
0:40:09 > 0:40:12And I said, "And third?" He said, "Stay in third."
0:40:12 > 0:40:15Now why would The Stig do that?
0:40:15 > 0:40:19I'm sure he had his reasons. He was masterful and I adore him, but what happened?
0:40:19 > 0:40:22It was not good to stay in third?
0:40:22 > 0:40:25No. Really no, no, no. Coming down the back straight,
0:40:25 > 0:40:29you need to be in fourth and even fifth because the car will go to 100 mph,
0:40:29 > 0:40:32but not in third. Well, it will, but valves will come out.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35I'm very upset, cos I was thinking...
0:40:35 > 0:40:38I was enjoying it no end, and once I, you know, got the hang of what to do,
0:40:38 > 0:40:42when you're really pressing it and you're going on, I went, "Jeez,
0:40:42 > 0:40:47"I wish there was more car under me, I wish it would do more."
0:40:47 > 0:40:51- Is it something you've done before ever, driving around a track? - No, no, never.
0:40:51 > 0:40:53Never in your life?
0:40:53 > 0:40:54Never in my life, no.
0:40:54 > 0:40:59So who would like to see Jeff's lap, bearing in mind
0:40:59 > 0:41:02he's never driven round a track before, and was in third the entire way?
0:41:02 > 0:41:04AUDIENCE: Yeah!
0:41:04 > 0:41:06- Come on, let's have a look here.- OK.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SCREECH
0:41:08 > 0:41:10'You see there's first and second and third.'
0:41:10 > 0:41:13- 'I understand.' - 'That's second, I saw it change.'
0:41:13 > 0:41:18All right, baby. Feeling better with that, er, stick.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21'Stick, that's gear lever.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23'Oh, late brake.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25- 'Still in third.'- 'Yes.'
0:41:25 > 0:41:27'OK, well, there we are.
0:41:27 > 0:41:28'Got round nicely,'
0:41:28 > 0:41:29very nicely, actually.
0:41:29 > 0:41:30- Really?- Yup.
0:41:30 > 0:41:34Can you believe that? Now, watch this!
0:41:34 > 0:41:36'Don't say "watch this". It's the precursor
0:41:36 > 0:41:40- 'to all big crashes when a man says, "Watch this!"'- 'Really?'
0:41:40 > 0:41:42'But you DIDN'T crash.'
0:41:42 > 0:41:46I wish it was faster right here. I'm putting it to the floor but I wish I had more car.
0:41:46 > 0:41:48- 'That's what I said.' - 'Go into fourth!
0:41:48 > 0:41:50'Second gear here, or are you in third?'
0:41:50 > 0:41:53- 'Third. I didn't know fourth.' - LAUGHTER
0:41:53 > 0:41:56I did not know fourth or fifth would give me more power.
0:41:56 > 0:42:00'Up to third. You need to go in second and that would go a bit more.'
0:42:00 > 0:42:03I wish I had more speed right now.
0:42:03 > 0:42:05LAUGHTER
0:42:05 > 0:42:09'The stick, pull the stick! Listen to it!
0:42:09 > 0:42:13'Valves are bouncing out through the bonnet.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15'Third gear, listen to the little thing!
0:42:15 > 0:42:18'You must have been sitting with the revs right on the red line.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21'That's a good run through that corner. That is third.
0:42:21 > 0:42:23'And here we go, all four wheels?
0:42:23 > 0:42:26'Yes! Very un-Tom Cruise-like and there we are,
0:42:26 > 0:42:27'across the line, everybody!'
0:42:27 > 0:42:30CHEERING
0:42:36 > 0:42:42It's a whole new thing. Anyway. Here are the people who have been around so far. We have got
0:42:42 > 0:42:44the 1:44.2 sitting at the top with Mr Cruise.
0:42:44 > 0:42:52And then 1:49.9 was the slowest we've ever had round here, who is a man called Nick Robinson.
0:42:52 > 0:42:54So, where do you think you have come?
0:42:54 > 0:42:56I mean, I must come last.
0:42:56 > 0:42:58I must be in last.
0:42:58 > 0:43:00You, yeah, you, yeah.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03- LAUGHTER - Oh, this is a bitter pill.
0:43:03 > 0:43:08Because on the track they were saying, as I was doing another lap or two,
0:43:08 > 0:43:11they were saying, "Jeez, and you just learned.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13"This may be a very happy ending.
0:43:13 > 0:43:17"Just fix another thing or two..." I thought I was breaking records or something.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21- You were breaking records. - Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
0:43:21 > 0:43:28No, no, no, you did it in third gear in one...
0:43:28 > 0:43:30forty-...
0:43:31 > 0:43:34nine dead.
0:43:34 > 0:43:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:36 > 0:43:38SPEECH DROWNED BY APPLAUSE
0:43:38 > 0:43:43You're faster than Peta, 23, from Essex.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49- Congratulations. - Thank you very much.
0:43:50 > 0:43:54Are you pleased, are you proud?
0:43:54 > 0:43:56Yes. Yes.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58- I'm happy as a clam.- Excellent.
0:43:58 > 0:44:04Ladies and gentlemen and what a huge pleasure to have you here, good luck with the play, Jeff Goldblum!
0:44:04 > 0:44:06CHEERING
0:44:06 > 0:44:09Excellent.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12Now, tonight, we are on a quest
0:44:12 > 0:44:16to prove that old British sports cars were brilliant.
0:44:16 > 0:44:20Meanwhile, our producers are on a quest to prove that the reason
0:44:20 > 0:44:24they were killed off by hot hatchbacks is because they were better.
0:44:24 > 0:44:28So, we now rejoin the action for a safety test
0:44:28 > 0:44:30at the top-secret Prodrive test track,
0:44:30 > 0:44:35just off the A 4177 between Honiley and Baddesley Clinton. It's on the left.
0:44:38 > 0:44:41'To try and show us that hot hatchbacks are safer than our cars,
0:44:41 > 0:44:46'the producers asked The Stig to get into a Citroen AX GT,
0:44:46 > 0:44:51'which would then be dragged by a special cable into the side of a lorry at 50 miles an hour.'
0:45:05 > 0:45:07Didn't do well at all, did it?
0:45:08 > 0:45:14- Well, there it is. That's the benchmark and that is a fail, isn't it?- That's a fail, yes.
0:45:16 > 0:45:21'We then decided that because we are a team, only one of us actually needed to do this test.'
0:45:21 > 0:45:28- Should I wear a crash helmet? - If anything goes wrong here, a crash helmet will make NO difference, mate.
0:45:28 > 0:45:32- It'll make it easier to find his head.- It will keep the bits in one place.
0:45:32 > 0:45:36This is the safest thing anyone has ever done.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39Look at the inertia reel seat belt you get in a Jenson.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42Could you just make that go a bit further in the back.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44I don't want you to ever say that to me again!
0:45:47 > 0:45:52- You see, how cheerful am I about what I am about to do?- Yeah.
0:45:53 > 0:45:55# Sunrise
0:45:55 > 0:45:57# This is the last day... #
0:45:57 > 0:46:00I've got Tony Christie on my eight-track.
0:46:00 > 0:46:04The seat belt is on, good, strong, dependable seat belt... Oh, I'm off!
0:46:09 > 0:46:12Bye! I see a mean...
0:46:12 > 0:46:16Oh, I'd better concentrate because I'm going into the lorry. Brace!
0:46:18 > 0:46:19Brace!
0:46:24 > 0:46:26How safe is this car?
0:46:26 > 0:46:29- That's a pass.- That is a pass.
0:46:29 > 0:46:31Thank God he wasn't in that little Citroen.
0:46:33 > 0:46:37'Having proved, as a team, that our cars are safer than hot hatches,
0:46:37 > 0:46:41'we continued onwards and soon, we were in a very special place.'
0:46:41 > 0:46:46This is where Richard Hammond was actually born.
0:46:48 > 0:46:50This is a beautiful town, Richard.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53You are very lucky to have been born here, Hammond.
0:46:53 > 0:46:54Am I ever?
0:46:54 > 0:46:56Fond memories.
0:46:56 > 0:47:00Usmania, "complete home furnishings".
0:47:00 > 0:47:03That's where the Queen buys all her furniture.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Happy communities.
0:47:05 > 0:47:10Man cleaning windows, or is he breaking in? No, he is cleaning them.
0:47:11 > 0:47:16'Sadly, my trip down memory lane was interrupted by the producers,
0:47:16 > 0:47:22'who said we must go to a petrol station where they would test our cars' waterproof-ness.'
0:47:22 > 0:47:24Shakespeare country, this.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27- I know. I noticed Shakespeare's Estate Agents.- Yes, very much.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30I presume we're having to do the test of the waterproofing
0:47:30 > 0:47:34of the cars at a car wash because it so rarely rains in Britain.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37When would it happen? So we need to do that, yes.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39- OK!- What is that?
0:47:39 > 0:47:42Nothing, nothing. I've parked over an oil spill.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44- Can I just check that?- Is it?
0:47:44 > 0:47:45Yeah.
0:47:45 > 0:47:48You've parked over a bit of hanging-off bodywork as well.
0:47:48 > 0:47:54'To try and stop the producers endlessly filming the boring oil spill, James started the test.'
0:47:56 > 0:47:58Do your worst.
0:47:58 > 0:48:03A lot of people do like to turn up and watch cars being washed around Solihull and Shirley.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06Edit that out.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09'The TVR passed with flying colours.'
0:48:11 > 0:48:13Death Valley.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17'And so did the Jensen.'
0:48:17 > 0:48:22Nuclear submarines have more leaks than this does.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25'So, then, I lined up the Lotus.'
0:48:25 > 0:48:31There is a bit coming in, I'll be honest - yeah, some.
0:48:32 > 0:48:36- Let's have a look. - I'll be staggered if he's dry.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39No, It's fine. I spilt my drink.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41Not again? Was it just water?
0:48:41 > 0:48:44Yeah. Just water and a bit of soap.
0:48:45 > 0:48:51'To then prove, again, to the producers why hot hatchbacks were so poor, we asked The Stig
0:48:51 > 0:48:55'to take a Ford Escort XR3i through the same car wash.'
0:48:57 > 0:49:01- Has The Stig ever been to a car wash before?- No, it'll be a whole new experience for him.
0:49:06 > 0:49:07What do you think?
0:49:07 > 0:49:10Well, it's got a solid roof.
0:49:12 > 0:49:16What is that coming out of the sky now?
0:49:16 > 0:49:18That's a bit of over-spray from the car wash.
0:49:20 > 0:49:22He's coming now, gentlemen.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28- Here he comes now. - Oh, it's not gone well!
0:49:28 > 0:49:31Oh, my God!
0:49:33 > 0:49:35- MUFFLED: - Now I come to think of it,
0:49:35 > 0:49:38this is the main reason I didn't buy an XR3.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40I lost a couple of friends like this.
0:49:40 > 0:49:43- MUFFLED:- It's one of the reasons
0:49:43 > 0:49:48the insurance premiums were so high, it's because of this leaking issue.
0:49:54 > 0:50:00'Buoyed by yet another victory, we rolled on up our equivalent of Highway 1 towards Blackpool.'
0:50:00 > 0:50:04Oh, God. Now, this is something, if you're watching this abroad,
0:50:04 > 0:50:11it's something I have never seen before, roadworks on a British motorway.
0:50:11 > 0:50:12That is unusual.
0:50:14 > 0:50:18'But then, we were made to turn off Highway 1.'
0:50:18 > 0:50:23I don't know why the producers have made us come THROUGH Stoke rather than round it.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25But I'm mighty glad they did.
0:50:25 > 0:50:32We three can count ourselves amongst the four million tourists visiting Stoke every year.
0:50:33 > 0:50:35OK.
0:50:36 > 0:50:39The car is beginning to smell like I need a picnic again.
0:50:39 > 0:50:42What do you fancy? Oil - er, sorry, biscuits?
0:50:42 > 0:50:47- No, I'm fine. - One of the more popular places in England, this, for a picnic.
0:50:47 > 0:50:52The reason is, that house there, you see the lilac one, four along, can you see that?
0:50:52 > 0:50:54Robbie Williams lives there.
0:50:54 > 0:51:00- Have you admired it for long enough? - Yes, it's a good idea when you stop to check your engine is still there.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02Just having a look, it's nice.
0:51:02 > 0:51:04Lovely. Better for seeing that.
0:51:04 > 0:51:09- Have you had your picnic? - I have had a lovely picnic. I am absolutely full again.
0:51:09 > 0:51:11Would you be needing a picnic again?
0:51:11 > 0:51:14Another hour or so and I'll want a quick picnic before Blackpool.
0:51:17 > 0:51:22'Blackpool was just 15 miles away but the producers, infuriated by our good progress,
0:51:22 > 0:51:27'ordered us to pull over at a garden centre for yet another challenge.'
0:51:28 > 0:51:30JEREMY CLEARS THROAT
0:51:30 > 0:51:33"One of the main reasons people switched from British sports cars
0:51:33 > 0:51:38"to European hot hatchbacks, apart from reliability, price, comfort, speed, handling..."
0:51:38 > 0:51:43I don't think so, as we have proved. "..is practicality.
0:51:43 > 0:51:46"To prove this point, you will load up a Golf GTI with items
0:51:46 > 0:51:52"from the garden centre and then you will see how much you can get in YOUR cars."
0:51:55 > 0:52:02'This is a MkI GTI, the first of the breed, the breed that killed the British sports car.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05'So, let's see what we can get into that boot.'
0:52:09 > 0:52:10Whoa, careful.
0:52:10 > 0:52:12I shall open the boot.
0:52:12 > 0:52:15- We'll just... You need to take... - The parcel shelf down.
0:52:17 > 0:52:21- There it is.- OK. There we are.
0:52:24 > 0:52:27- No.- Ah. No, you see.
0:52:27 > 0:52:31- If you can't get a rose arch into a Golf GTI...- What can you get in?
0:52:31 > 0:52:32Exactly.
0:52:34 > 0:52:39'After a quick shop, we hit the road and made our point.'
0:52:47 > 0:52:52Here's the thing. If you had gone to the garden centre with a hot hatchback,
0:52:52 > 0:52:55the biggest thing you could have brought home is a pansy.
0:52:55 > 0:52:59I'm going home with a bamboo and a conifer.
0:53:00 > 0:53:05TVR, the car that came out of the shed, now, underneath one.
0:53:08 > 0:53:10This is awkward.
0:53:10 > 0:53:14Her bottom is quite close to my face.
0:53:17 > 0:53:21'There was, however, a serious point to be made here.'
0:53:22 > 0:53:27We were all rather dazzled by the XR3i and the Golf GTI and so on,
0:53:27 > 0:53:30but really, it was a bit of a fad.
0:53:30 > 0:53:35Nobody these days is saying, "Oh, I'd love an old XR3."
0:53:35 > 0:53:39But a Jensen Healey, a Lotus, a TVR, yes.
0:53:41 > 0:53:46'As we neared journey's end, Richard became a bit emotional.'
0:53:46 > 0:53:50I think driving to a British seaside resort, Blackpool,
0:53:50 > 0:53:56in a funny little British sports car with a naked lady statue and a giant urn on the seat next to me,
0:53:56 > 0:54:01is, above all else, fun.
0:54:01 > 0:54:05And for all our serious side, the British have always been rather good at fun.
0:54:05 > 0:54:13The whole experience is tinged at all times with the knowledge that we are doing something that has ended.
0:54:15 > 0:54:21And finally, we end with James's TVR coming home.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30'This is the home in question.
0:54:30 > 0:54:33'The factory where it was made.'
0:54:33 > 0:54:35This one, I remember.
0:54:35 > 0:54:36I remember this.
0:54:36 > 0:54:39Because they made them everywhere, didn't they?
0:54:39 > 0:54:42They were in that one and that one and this one and this one.
0:54:42 > 0:54:46- It was busy.- Everything got moved... It wasn't efficient.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48No, but busy and they made stuff.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50Oh, my God, look at that.
0:54:50 > 0:54:53- Ooh, I remember those. - They were Tamsins.
0:54:53 > 0:54:57And the grey one was a 3-litre.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59That was the Taimar.
0:54:59 > 0:55:02Because it wasn't a little burst, was it?
0:55:02 > 0:55:05- It was a few decades. - 1947, TVR started.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07Same as Land Rover.
0:55:07 > 0:55:12That is actually a part of the manufacturing process there dumped on the floor.
0:55:12 > 0:55:16A huge amount of work went into making that.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24Isn't that the mould for the bonnet of your car?
0:55:30 > 0:55:35There's nothing quieter than a no-longer-functioning factory, is there?
0:55:35 > 0:55:37It's particularly noticeable quiet.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39I hate it.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44- My car was in here once, though. - Yeah.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47Going through here, being built.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51And it was all new and somebody was very excited about it somewhere.
0:55:51 > 0:55:54My TVR is coming next week, it's an S2.
0:56:02 > 0:56:05What have you found? Some more Nobby work?
0:56:05 > 0:56:06- Yeah!- Oh, really?
0:56:06 > 0:56:08I'll lean on that bit.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11JAMES LAUGHS
0:56:11 > 0:56:14- Oh, that's really sad. - Let me just see what the word was?
0:56:14 > 0:56:15I thought so!
0:56:19 > 0:56:23'It was horrible to walk round this industrial wilderness.
0:56:23 > 0:56:25'There were so many memories,
0:56:25 > 0:56:27'so many thoughts of what might have been.
0:57:01 > 0:57:07'There are, of course, good reasons why almost all these great names are gone.
0:57:11 > 0:57:16'But after our journey across the width of Britain,
0:57:16 > 0:57:19'we really couldn't remember what they were.'
0:57:27 > 0:57:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:57:33 > 0:57:39The weird thing is, I think, when you drive a car like that,
0:57:39 > 0:57:43you actually can't help becoming a bit misty-eyed and wistful.
0:57:43 > 0:57:46You drive them really with rose-tinted spectacles on.
0:57:46 > 0:57:50Exactly, and there was a little piece of music in the first part of the film
0:57:50 > 0:57:53that summed it up perfectly, they are diamond dogs.
0:57:53 > 0:57:58You are exactly right. And I have to say...this hurts, but, Richard, I think yours was the best.
0:57:58 > 0:58:02- No, I think James's was the best. - No, I have to disagree with both of you.
0:58:02 > 0:58:06Your car was definitely the best. It was superb.
0:58:06 > 0:58:10- Why don't we just say that they were all the best?- Let's agree on that.
0:58:10 > 0:58:13And on that unusually harmonious bombshell, it is time to end,
0:58:13 > 0:58:16not just the programme, but the whole series.
0:58:16 > 0:58:18Thank you so much for watching.
0:58:18 > 0:58:20Take care. See you soon.
0:58:20 > 0:58:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:58:39 > 0:58:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:42 > 0:58:46E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk