0:00:11 > 0:00:15'Tonight, I do a skid,
0:00:15 > 0:00:18'Richard steals some tyres,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21'and James gets kicked in the face.'
0:00:25 > 0:00:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Thank you! Hello!
0:00:30 > 0:00:34Hello, thank you, thank you everybody, thank you.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38Now, let's get one thing straight, from the start -
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Formula 1 is better than NASCAR.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43CROWD CHEERS
0:00:43 > 0:00:44It just is.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48If you compare them, to musical instruments,
0:00:48 > 0:00:52F1 is a Stradivarius violin, NASCAR is banging a saucepan
0:00:52 > 0:00:53with a wooden spoon.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Now, we all agree on that in the civilised world.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Well, when I say we all agree,
0:00:58 > 0:01:04we all agree apart from Richard J Cheeseburger Hammond III.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22I'm not alone in believing in the supremacy of NASCAR.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26It's currently the most popular spectator sport in America.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31And there are many reasons why it hits the spot with the fans.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34The first is to do with its roots.
0:01:38 > 0:01:43Unlike Formula 1, which began as a pastime for wealthy playboys
0:01:43 > 0:01:49and aristocrats, NASCAR has very humble, blue-collar origins.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52NASCAR has its roots back in the 1940s,
0:01:52 > 0:01:55when the moonshine runners, basically naughty hicks
0:01:55 > 0:01:58smuggling illegal booze across county lines,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01would modify their cars to outrun the cops.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05One thing sort of led to another, and before you knew it,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08they were holding informal race meetings in the evenings,
0:02:08 > 0:02:12on impromptu racetracks that they kicked into the dirt in fields.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18The cars the moonshine runners favoured were ones like this,
0:02:18 > 0:02:21a respectable-looking 1941 Ford Business Coupe,
0:02:21 > 0:02:27which wouldn't raise the suspicions of a passing policeman.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Clearly, the man in such a car as this,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32is going about his business - why would the cops disturb him?
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Underneath, though, is a highly-tuned engine,
0:02:35 > 0:02:39beefed-up suspension, and inside,
0:02:39 > 0:02:43a special hideaway for the illegal booze.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Moonshine runners used this actual car.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52It smuggled hooky booze across county lines,
0:02:52 > 0:02:56and then went on to race in NASCAR - it's the real deal!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01As the decades passed, the sport grew.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04'One critical time when trouble could be mighty contagious.'
0:03:04 > 0:03:08But that love of living outside the law remained.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12In the early 1950s, for example, roll cages were mandatory
0:03:12 > 0:03:14in NASCAR racing, but the drivers thought,
0:03:14 > 0:03:18"Well, the added weight," and it was a bit wussy, having a roll cage,
0:03:18 > 0:03:22so they just fitted them with things that looked like roll cages,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25made out of offcuts of wood, say.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Another reason I prefer this sport,
0:03:35 > 0:03:38apart from its rebellious streak, is that next to the spaceships
0:03:38 > 0:03:43you get in F1, NASCAR machines are beautifully simple.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50As was explained to me on race day at Texas Speedway.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51This is making 800 horsepower?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Closer to 900, yeah.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- 900 horsepower.- 900 horsepower.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57And no electronic aids on this?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59No. It literally carburetted.
0:03:59 > 0:04:04NASCAR wants the drivers to separate themselves on the track,
0:04:04 > 0:04:06so, for myself, without having data,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I have to explain all the sensations I feel in the car.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Talk about spring changes, shock changes, geometry changes.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15So they're not downloading it off a laptop?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18We've not even a fuel sensor to tell us we've run out of gas.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21And these little things, these are the ones...
0:04:21 > 0:04:23It's just to create some drag when the car spins around...
0:04:23 > 0:04:25That's not going to stop you flipping!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28They've proven in the wind tunnel that it does.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Now, what really helps is this. These deploy.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34When there's a low-pressure area on the top, these deploy,
0:04:34 > 0:04:36and help set the car down.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38- That stops you spinning and flipping. - Two on top.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41You have these here, as well.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Hey, that's hi-tech, that's like a Land Rover's air vents at the front.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46It's not mega hi-tech.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52If you're a Formula 1 fan, and a NASCAR cynic,
0:04:52 > 0:04:56I think I know exactly what you'd be saying if you were here.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59This looks, well, easy.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03You just keep your foot down, keep turning left,
0:05:03 > 0:05:05and that's kind of it, really.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Whereas in Formula 1, there's corners and stuff to remember.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10It's tricky.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13So, do these drivers,
0:05:13 > 0:05:16who can earn up to £15 million a year,
0:05:16 > 0:05:19have an easier time of it than F1 drivers?
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Well, let's ask a man who's raced in both sports.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26To drive? I would say there's nothing drives like a Formula 1 car,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29but these are more unpredictable.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32They slide around a lot, they have no brakes.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I mean, when I tell you NO brakes, because the car's so heavy
0:05:35 > 0:05:36and the brakes are so tiny.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44I've got to say, ovals, I think, are more challenging,
0:05:44 > 0:05:47and it's because the corner starts way over there,
0:05:47 > 0:05:48and ends way over there.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52And is the car moving?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55The car's moving all the time, it's never settled.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59And then, you take the cars all around you, the turbulent air.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02If they are on the outside of you, it's pulling you around,
0:06:02 > 0:06:06if they're in front of you, you just don't have the grip.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11That's when the entertainment value goes up tremendously,
0:06:11 > 0:06:13because you're averaging over 190mph,
0:06:13 > 0:06:16with that many cars inches away from one another,
0:06:16 > 0:06:20and we'll be three or four wide through these corners.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24You go to Silverstone, you sit in a stand on and you go, "meooooo!"
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- You wait one half minutes. - See if the order has changed.- Yes.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29But, most likely, it won't.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32They used to give awards because, oh, the overtaker of the year,
0:06:32 > 0:06:36you passed three people in the whole freaking year.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40So, lots of close racing in cars that are tricky to drive,
0:06:40 > 0:06:43which means, as a bonus, you get lots of these.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51It's a contact sport, put it that way.
0:06:58 > 0:07:03A lot of times, the contact that's made is either out of frustration,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05the guy wants to get another guy out of the way.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- You can't just ram him because you can't overtake! - If you have bumpers, you do!
0:07:10 > 0:07:12And when there is a coming together,
0:07:12 > 0:07:16NASCAR drivers don't bother settling it with a stewards' enquiry.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Let's see if they'll fight? Harvick's mad at Montoya.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- Have got a fight breaking out? - Here it comes.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26He's slowing back here, and we're going to have a little talk.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30This, too, is a bonus for the hard-core fans,
0:07:30 > 0:07:33who are not often mistaken for Harvard professors.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- Yeah!- Yeah!- Woo!
0:07:37 > 0:07:43On race weekends, their main diet is beer and red meat.
0:07:43 > 0:07:48- What if you were spotted eating a salad?- Eating salad?!
0:07:48 > 0:07:51And they get a lot more access than F1 fans.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56These are actual fans being driven around!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58These are fans who have lined up,
0:07:58 > 0:08:01that have paid to go around the track with a professional,
0:08:01 > 0:08:02or some kind of driver.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Can you imagine that in F1?- If you can do this, I'm coming tomorrow.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08They're in a pack of cars, they're not even on their own.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12Look at this, these are just spectators, you or me.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20I didn't see how I might get the same chance to drive on that oval,
0:08:20 > 0:08:23but then I was told to report to the drivers' briefing,
0:08:23 > 0:08:25where I was in for a surprise.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27From the United States Air Force,
0:08:27 > 0:08:30four-star general, General Mark A Welsh III and his wife Betty Welsh.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE
0:08:38 > 0:08:41From Top Gear UK, today's honorary pace car driver,
0:08:41 > 0:08:43from Birmingham, England, Richard Hammond.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46MUTED APPLAUSE
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Race time arrived.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03After the national anthem had finished,
0:09:03 > 0:09:09the man with the jetpack had landed, and the B-52 bomber had flown past...
0:09:14 > 0:09:19..it was time to me to lead the grid of 43 cars out on the formation lap.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24They are still coming, there's millions of them.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27ENGINES ROAR
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Don't stall, Hammond, don't mess it up.
0:09:31 > 0:09:37Behind me, 39,000 horsepower was itching to get going.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44I daren't look in the mirror, it's like being attacked by tigers.
0:09:44 > 0:09:49Whoa-ho-ho! Oh, come on.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53'Slip road is clear.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57'Green flag.'
0:10:00 > 0:10:03We started that! We did that.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13And my treats weren't over, because I'd be spending
0:10:13 > 0:10:16the actual race helping one of the teams,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19who gave me a very important job.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27Yeah, I'm with the team. Coming through, oh, yeah.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Now, I will admit the one problem with NASCAR races
0:10:30 > 0:10:33is that they're over 500 laps long,
0:10:33 > 0:10:38so at this point there is only one thing we can do...
0:10:38 > 0:10:41# We're gonna need a montage Montage
0:10:41 > 0:10:44# Oh, it takes a montage Montage
0:10:44 > 0:10:47# Show a lot of things Happening at once
0:10:47 > 0:10:50# Remind everyone of what's going on
0:10:50 > 0:10:53# That's called a montage Montage
0:10:53 > 0:10:57# Oh, we want montage Montage
0:10:57 > 0:11:02# Always fade out in a montage
0:11:02 > 0:11:04# If you fade out... #
0:11:04 > 0:11:09That did the trick, and 530 laps later, we had ourselves a winner.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14Three hours and 20 minutes of racing just flew by.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17There's a man over there who won, he's now firing six guns in the air,
0:11:17 > 0:11:20wearing his new Stetson. and he's delighted.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Now the whole circus moves on to the next place, to do it all again,
0:11:24 > 0:11:27and there's a big argument here to say this is proof
0:11:27 > 0:11:31F1 is po-faced, it could learn a lot from this.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37The next morning, at a deserted Texas Speedway,
0:11:37 > 0:11:40there was one final treat in store.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42This.
0:11:42 > 0:11:47Plus a driving lesson from NASCAR royalty - Kyle Petty.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51It doesn't feel like anything else I've ever driven, I mean,
0:11:51 > 0:11:54this thing does not want to go in a straight line.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57The car only wants to turn left, it doesn't want to go straight.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Hit the grass, you've got to run through the grass,
0:12:00 > 0:12:03it's like mowing the yard, you have to hit the grass. Hard.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06RICHARD SCREAMS
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Yeah, all the way down.
0:12:09 > 0:12:10I am so scared!
0:12:11 > 0:12:15More gas, more gas, more gas, more gas.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Oh, dear Lord!
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- Put her next to the wall a little bit.- I am next to the wall!
0:12:20 > 0:12:24'Eventually, Kyle let me go out on my own.'
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Letting it find grip. Trying not to fight it too much.
0:12:31 > 0:12:37It's not just a big loop, it's complex, it's three-dimensional,
0:12:37 > 0:12:42and I'm wrestling my way around it in a huge, shouting dragon.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46I'm going to roll out of this corner onto the straight now,
0:12:46 > 0:12:48here I go, getting on the gas! Haha!
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Oh, my God!
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I'm in an explosion again!
0:12:55 > 0:12:58SCREAMS MANICALLY
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Where's it finding the grip?
0:13:00 > 0:13:05Both of my lungs are on the same side, that's not normal.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08'And then, just to add to my problems...'
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Oh, no, that's not what I wanted to see in the mirror,
0:13:12 > 0:13:13that's too authentic!
0:13:20 > 0:13:23I don't need that!
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Arghh!
0:13:30 > 0:13:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Unbelievable. It was brilliant!
0:13:34 > 0:13:37I loved it. It was...
0:13:37 > 0:13:39"Whoooa!"
0:13:39 > 0:13:41..it's really good.
0:13:41 > 0:13:46All right, OK, let's get this over with.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Come on then, Mr F1 Fan, I'm braced and ready for your comments. Go.
0:13:50 > 0:13:55- I agree with you.- Eh? - I do agree with you.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57The Americans are very bad at some things,
0:13:57 > 0:14:00they can't say aluminium,
0:14:00 > 0:14:02and they can't win a war without our help,
0:14:02 > 0:14:07but they are very good at making dreary sports
0:14:07 > 0:14:08very exciting to watch.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Let's just take, for an example, rounders. Right?
0:14:12 > 0:14:15That's played by small children here, over there,
0:14:15 > 0:14:16it's Babe Ruth, and a religion.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20Then you've got netball which here is schoolgirls standing,
0:14:20 > 0:14:24so you can only move one foot, and there's four parents watching,
0:14:24 > 0:14:27and over there it's, what is it? Harlem Globetrotters.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29They are quite easily amused.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34Unbelievably easily amused, and that's why they're able to make NASCAR exciting.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37It's just some good ol' boys going round in a circle. And they go,
0:14:37 > 0:14:39"Oh, hell, I'll go pay to watch that."
0:14:39 > 0:14:44- 250,000 people turn up to watch it. - Because it is a good sport.
0:14:44 > 0:14:49- I mean, Hammond, you would say that, because you're an American. - I'm not an American. I'm not!
0:14:49 > 0:14:53You've got a Stetson, cowboy boots, chaps, a Harley-Davidson, a Mustang,
0:14:53 > 0:14:56you'd like to get a beer and you put cheese on everything.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58I don't! I'm not American.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01You have made a living out of being an American.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Your Saturday night programme
0:15:03 > 0:15:05is a fat man falling off some foam rubber.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08"All right! Hey, we'll watch that!"
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Then they turn up in their millions.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13APPLAUSE
0:15:15 > 0:15:19JAMES HUMS STAR SPANGLED BANNER I'm not an American.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I'm just not.
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Anyway, we must do the news.
0:15:22 > 0:15:27- We are starting with the Institute Of Advanced Motorists, you know the ones.- Oh, yeah, them.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29They're the ones who...
0:15:29 > 0:15:30LAUGHTER
0:15:30 > 0:15:34They say that you mustn't cross hands on the steering wheel.
0:15:34 > 0:15:40- You've got to shuffle it, like that. - Never drive one-handed, they don't like that. They prefer that.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Is anyone here in The Institute Of Advanced Motorists?
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Like you're going to confess it now.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48You are! So you are in the Institute? So, you do this?
0:15:48 > 0:15:52- Yes.- Did you drive down here today like this?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55I was a passenger.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58You're a passenger? Oh, you can knock yourself out, then.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:16:05 > 0:16:09The Institute Of Advanced Motorists has launched a new thing
0:16:09 > 0:16:11called Drive And Survive.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16- What, rather than Drive And Die? - That would never work. Drive And Survive, OK?
0:16:16 > 0:16:19The idea is, what they've got is,
0:16:19 > 0:16:22every week they're offering motoring tips.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23So this week it's parking.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28"When parking, open your window in car parks,
0:16:28 > 0:16:32"and turn off your stereo. You can often hear something,
0:16:32 > 0:16:34"before you can see it."
0:16:34 > 0:16:40- What, a lamppost?- Lampposts actually make a very soft cooing sound.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- Do they?- If you put your window down, you can hear.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47I once heard a squelching sound, and then a pop,
0:16:47 > 0:16:49but that was the neighbour's cat.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50LAUGHTER
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- Can we move on?- Yes.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55I have some news, there is a new Dodge Viper being announced,
0:16:55 > 0:16:58and apparently it's going to employ Fiat technology on it, which is...
0:16:58 > 0:17:03- They mean there's a new one and it won't work properly. - They haven't said that.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06I suspect that Dodge are worried about the styling they chose,
0:17:06 > 0:17:10because this is the photograph they have sent.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Doesn't tell you much, does it? - Doesn't tell you a lot.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Maybe it's shy?
0:17:16 > 0:17:17I've got news from Renault,
0:17:17 > 0:17:20they've got a new car, I've got a picture of it here,
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- it's called the Influenza. - Is it?- It isn't called the Influenza.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Something a bit like that.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28It's electric, as you can see, because there it is plugged in, recharging.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32I was wondering, when in the future, when we're all driving electric cars,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35the cities are full of these charging points,
0:17:35 > 0:17:38won't ten-year-old boys go around unplugging cars?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40That's what we would have done when I was ten.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44Do you have to be ten, why wouldn't you do that aged, I don't know, 52?
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- Well, quite.- You would, though, wouldn't you?
0:17:47 > 0:17:51If you saw somebody parked, you would just go... You would.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54I wouldn't. Why would you do that?
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Remember the early Fiat Panda, the boxy one that Giugiaro designed?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Whenever I walk past one of those with a group of friends,
0:18:00 > 0:18:03we always picked it up and turned it around.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06You could just... "I was going that way, how's that happened?"
0:18:06 > 0:18:08In the same way as it's always great fun
0:18:08 > 0:18:12to lock someone else's bicycle up with your bicycle lock.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16- You're just a yobbo!- Come on, Hammond, you must have done that?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Or throw a brick through their window, or set fire to their shop.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23If you go to Halfords, you buy a whole load of really cheap bicycle locks.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27- The combination ones... - Then go along the street, locking people's bikes up.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- Why would you do that?! - Because it's funny!
0:18:30 > 0:18:32No, it is, because you do it,
0:18:32 > 0:18:35and I did this with Robert Cook on York station, in 1978,
0:18:35 > 0:18:38if it was your bicycle, you'll know it was us.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41You lock it, hide behind some bins, wait for them to come back.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44They take their lock off, "Yes, my bicycle's good,"
0:18:44 > 0:18:45and they go off and go dunk!
0:18:45 > 0:18:49- "I didn't put that on there." - People are watching, getting ideas...
0:18:49 > 0:18:50Don't do this,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53ten-year-olds and 52-year-olds, we're not condoning this.
0:18:53 > 0:18:5452-year-old children.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Or indeed unplugging people's electric cars,
0:18:57 > 0:19:01because when they come back and find the range says two, it's not funny.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07- It is funny. We're not saying you SHOULD do that.- No, you shouldn't.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10We're just saying you CAN do that.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Last week we revealed that the police were claiming
0:19:13 > 0:19:16that driving under the influence of a cold remedy
0:19:16 > 0:19:19is the same as driving under the influence of cocaine.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Now, I drove down here,
0:19:20 > 0:19:22because I got a cold that I haven't mentioned,
0:19:22 > 0:19:26I drove down here this morning having taken some Day Nurse,
0:19:26 > 0:19:29and I arrived without incident.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Did it make you very boring, and overly confident at parties?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35No, I'm always that, I was that anyway.
0:19:35 > 0:19:40So, I'm just letting you know that Day Nurse and driving are OK. I made it.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Yeah, on that subject actually last week, you agreed,
0:19:43 > 0:19:46in fact you challenged James to do a lap of a track,
0:19:46 > 0:19:50you would be sewing on a button at the same time as driving,
0:19:50 > 0:19:55- he would be in a sleeping bag. - Yes, and you would be giving yourself pleasure.
0:19:55 > 0:20:00Those are the rules, so are we going to have our race? We did promise.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- I've forgotten my sleeping bag, sir. - I've been practising all week!
0:20:06 > 0:20:11I promise we will do our sleeping bag, sewing a button on,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14and Hammond... race before the end of the series.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18Moving on, Mercedes SLS,
0:20:18 > 0:20:23- James and Richard will tell you that it's too big and too stupid. - It is.- It is.- No, it isn't.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27It is a SUPERB car, and as far as I'm concerned,
0:20:27 > 0:20:30there is only one thing wrong with it -
0:20:30 > 0:20:32its doors.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37- That two things! Well, it is, it's two doors.- Thank you, Hammond.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42You might imagine, as you drive along
0:20:42 > 0:20:45that people will think the gull-wing doors
0:20:45 > 0:20:49hark back to the magnificent 300 SL from 1954,
0:20:49 > 0:20:54but I suspect they won't think anything of the sort.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00What they will think, as you pull up and get out is,
0:21:00 > 0:21:04"What a massive show-off," and there's another problem
0:21:04 > 0:21:07with gull-wing doors as well because if you roll the car,
0:21:07 > 0:21:09how do you open them to get out?
0:21:09 > 0:21:13You're trapped in there, soaked in petrol, burning, screaming.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17Now, to prevent that from happening, Mercedes has fitted the hinges
0:21:17 > 0:21:21with explosive bolts that are designed to fire if the car goes upside down.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24So, these doors then, what they are are heavy,
0:21:24 > 0:21:28unnecessary, embarrassing bombs.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Now, however, there is a solution.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38The SLS Roadster, a car which offers all of the coupe's thrills,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41without leaving you purple-faced with embarrassment,
0:21:41 > 0:21:44every time you get out of it.
0:21:44 > 0:21:49That is my idea of the perfect car.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52But it is quite difficult to explain why.
0:21:55 > 0:22:00First of all, it costs as near as makes no difference, £200,000,
0:22:00 > 0:22:05which means it's in the same sort of price bracket as a Rolls-Royce.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08And with a Rolls-Royce, you get more...
0:22:08 > 0:22:09car.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19Of course, with this you get the magnificent jackhammer
0:22:19 > 0:22:2250 cal, AMG soundtrack.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24ENGINE REVS
0:22:26 > 0:22:32But if that's all you want, why not buy a much cheaper C-Class?
0:22:36 > 0:22:41This four-door saloon makes exactly the same sort of racket.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43ENGINE REVS
0:22:43 > 0:22:47For around a quarter of the price.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51Of course, you may say, "A-ha, I like being exposed to the elements."
0:22:51 > 0:22:55I understand that, but I'll let you into a little secret,
0:22:55 > 0:22:59once you're doing 70 miles an hour in a convertible,
0:22:59 > 0:23:03all you really notice is the wind rushing through your hair,
0:23:03 > 0:23:08nothing about the car at all, the wind is an all-consuming thing.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12So 70 miles an hour feels exactly the same
0:23:12 > 0:23:13whether you're in this,
0:23:13 > 0:23:16or this,
0:23:16 > 0:23:18or this.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Let me put it this way, when you're being attacked by a lion,
0:23:22 > 0:23:27it doesn't really matter whether you're in a bungalow or a mansion.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Being attacked by a lion is the main thing.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Of course, at this point you may say,
0:23:34 > 0:23:38"Yes, but I want a big V8 rear-drive sports car."
0:23:42 > 0:23:48So, what's wrong with this, the big V8 rear-drive Jaguar XKR?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51It's very similar to the Mercedes, except that to my eye,
0:23:51 > 0:23:56it looks even better, and is less than half the price.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Of course, you may think the SLS is more technical,
0:24:02 > 0:24:07more spectacular, and that's true - it is.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12The engine is a masterpiece.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18The seven-speed, double-clutch gearbox
0:24:18 > 0:24:21is mounted at the back for better weight distribution.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25It's light. The prop shaft is made from carbon fibre
0:24:25 > 0:24:27and only weighs four kilograms.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30And all the little changes they've made
0:24:30 > 0:24:33to the suspension on the convertible are so successful
0:24:33 > 0:24:36they're applying them to the coupe as well.
0:24:39 > 0:24:45However, don't be fooled into thinking this is some kind of track-munching driver's car...
0:24:45 > 0:24:47TYRES SQUEAL
0:24:47 > 0:24:51..because, it isn't. Argh!
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Whoa! God, strewth!
0:24:59 > 0:25:01It doesn't grip, steer, stop,
0:25:01 > 0:25:06or turn anything like as well as a Ferrari.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10Or an Aston Martin DBS, or even a BM...
0:25:10 > 0:25:13HE LAUGHS
0:25:13 > 0:25:15BMW M3.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24You know what this is like? An old American muscle car.
0:25:24 > 0:25:29A Dodge Charger with a three-pointed star on the nose.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31You could almost call it crude.
0:25:31 > 0:25:36So there are many, many reasons why you would not buy an SLS,
0:25:36 > 0:25:39but there's one why you would,
0:25:39 > 0:25:41because it is fantastic.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Cars these days are all so safe, and refined,
0:25:48 > 0:25:53and they're all built in wheat-free, multi-ethnic factories,
0:25:53 > 0:25:57with one eye on Johnny Polar Bear, but this just isn't.
0:26:00 > 0:26:05It's just a gigantic, two-fingered noisy salute
0:26:05 > 0:26:09to the whole concept of sustainable eco-ism.
0:26:13 > 0:26:18It's as in tune with the times as a blaze at an oil refinery,
0:26:18 > 0:26:20and I love that.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23I also love the idiotically long bonnet,
0:26:23 > 0:26:28and the 571 horsepowers that live beneath it.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29I love the speed of the roof, too.
0:26:29 > 0:26:35You really can get it up or down at a set of lights. I love its doors.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37I love its windscreen wipers.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40I love the dust caps on the tyre valves.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43I love the men who made it, I love Germany.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46I want to move there, and have cold meat for breakfast,
0:26:46 > 0:26:47and wear shorts.
0:26:50 > 0:26:55I also love the way that in here, it just feels like a Mercedes,
0:26:55 > 0:26:57apart from that, obviously.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59And that, and that, and that.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02I mean, apart from the launch control
0:27:02 > 0:27:04and all those buttons there, it feels normal.
0:27:04 > 0:27:09There's no sense that you're in a swivel-eyed destroyer of worlds.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16There are many cars on the market today
0:27:16 > 0:27:20for people who want to be sensible.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24The SLS is rare because it's for people who don't.
0:27:33 > 0:27:37- I like it, that's just... - You love this thing, don't you?
0:27:37 > 0:27:40It's such a perfect car. It is perfect.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43I can see why you love it, looking at you with it.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47Think about it. It's loud, old-fashioned, not sensible,
0:27:47 > 0:27:50it's got a hole in the top - it's you, with a tax disc.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52- That's what it is.- Yes, it is.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55And now, we must find out how fast it goes round our track,
0:27:55 > 0:27:58and that means handing it over to our tame racing driver.
0:27:58 > 0:28:02Some say that he's the only man in Britain
0:28:02 > 0:28:05who knows what B&Q stands for.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10And that he can't give his million pound bonus back
0:28:10 > 0:28:13because he's already spent it...
0:28:13 > 0:28:15on French breast implants.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18All we know is he's called The Stig.
0:28:19 > 0:28:24And he's off. Nice, clean start on this crisp, dry day.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26That is pure engine sound you're hearing, by the way.
0:28:26 > 0:28:31No active exhaust valve nonsense in the SLS. First corner.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34He's getting a bit sideways on the way out, but he's through!
0:28:34 > 0:28:38MUSIC: Theme tune from "The Archers"
0:28:38 > 0:28:39Sorry, I should explain,
0:28:39 > 0:28:43the Stig has become a massive Archers fan recently.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46He keeps it tidy through Chicago down to Hammerhead.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48This is a car that needs very precise driving.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Too violent with the steering, throttle or brakes
0:28:50 > 0:28:52and it will bite you.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Look at that. Beautifully done.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57VOICES FROM THE ARCHERS: 'I'll be as quick as I can.'
0:28:57 > 0:29:00'I can help, if that'll speed things up.'
0:29:00 > 0:29:03Rural drivel there. Up the gears to Follow-Through
0:29:03 > 0:29:06like all flappy-pedal boxers.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Not so good in town, but it works brilliantly here.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11OK, he's passed the tyres.
0:29:11 > 0:29:15Roadster is 40 kilos heavier than the Coupe, so will it be slower?
0:29:15 > 0:29:18We'll never know, because the Coupe has never been round here.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21That's Gambon done and across the line!
0:29:23 > 0:29:25It did it...
0:29:25 > 0:29:27It did it...
0:29:27 > 0:29:32No. Higher than that. 1.19.6, so it's there,
0:29:32 > 0:29:36between the Lamborghini Gallardo and a Ferrari Scuderia.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39Not bad, but it's hardly in the medals, is it?
0:29:39 > 0:29:43What this is, it's like Robert Downey Jr.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46He's never won an Oscar, but he's still brilliant.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49- Anyway... - I've got no idea what that means.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51Yes, well, you work it out,
0:29:51 > 0:29:54because it is time to put a star in our reasonably-priced car.
0:29:54 > 0:29:59- Is it Robert Downey Jr?- No. But he is an American, like you.
0:29:59 > 0:30:03- I'm not.- Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Matt LeBlanc!
0:30:11 > 0:30:14Have a seat. He's here!
0:30:19 > 0:30:21That's a good welcome.
0:30:21 > 0:30:22Now, first of all,
0:30:22 > 0:30:26hearty congratulations on your Golden Globe. Last week, wasn't it?
0:30:26 > 0:30:29Last week or the week before, I don't know, I had to fly...
0:30:29 > 0:30:32I came back here after Christmas...
0:30:32 > 0:30:34Is it easier to win an award or lose one
0:30:34 > 0:30:37in terms of getting your face right? I'm never quite sure.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40If you win, you've got to look proud, but not smug,
0:30:40 > 0:30:43and that's a tricky thing to do.
0:30:43 > 0:30:48- I've got a lot of practice at the losing face.- The losing face?- Yes.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50The camera sits at your table and stays on you
0:30:50 > 0:30:52and the guy's halfway through his speech
0:30:52 > 0:30:54and they still have a camera on you, so you...
0:30:54 > 0:30:56LAUGHTER
0:30:56 > 0:30:59He deserved it, yeah.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02We lost spectacularly last week to a programme called This Morning.
0:31:02 > 0:31:06- You know this?- No. - It's a programme...- Fix! Fix!
0:31:06 > 0:31:11Well, no, it's a programme where men put their fingers in other men.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14LAUGHTER
0:31:14 > 0:31:18They did! And as a result of that, we were blown out of the water.
0:31:18 > 0:31:22The viewing public likes that more. So well done, This Morning.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27You won your Golden Globe for Episodes.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29I don't know if anybody here has seen Episodes.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32- I think it is just brilliant. - Thank you.- You've just done the second series,
0:31:32 > 0:31:37- which is why you're here. - We finished a few days ago.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39Talk us through the plot.
0:31:39 > 0:31:44OK, it's a show about a fictitious show that starts in the UK
0:31:44 > 0:31:48and it's bought by the American networks to be revamped and remade in the States.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51They promise them the world and one by one,
0:31:51 > 0:31:54every promise is broken, including the fact that they keep
0:31:54 > 0:31:59their lead actor played by Richard Griffiths and they tell him,
0:31:59 > 0:32:02"No, can't have him. You're going to hire Matt LeBlanc."
0:32:02 > 0:32:06So I play this weird, bizarre version of myself.
0:32:06 > 0:32:10Of course, Episodes has not yet become the huge hit.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13What you're best known for is... Well, I tell you what,
0:32:13 > 0:32:17let's show you a clip of you in your best role. Here it is.
0:32:17 > 0:32:21This is Bob Seger, obviously. Night Moves.
0:32:21 > 0:32:26This was the video shot in 1994, and if we look very carefully,
0:32:26 > 0:32:31here's the heroine and...whoa! Wait a minute! Who is that?!
0:32:34 > 0:32:38That was '94. Friends had already started in '94,
0:32:38 > 0:32:41so you were moonlighting in Seger videos.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44A friend of mine directed that and he called me
0:32:44 > 0:32:47and said, "Hey, I'm doing a video for Bob Seger for Night Moves.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50"Do you want to be the hero guy?" And I said, "Sure, yeah."
0:32:50 > 0:32:54So I go down there and they get in the little trailer to get ready,
0:32:54 > 0:32:57we're at this drive-in theatre, and someone knocks on the door
0:32:57 > 0:33:01and says, "Bob Seger would like to see you in his motor home."
0:33:01 > 0:33:04So I go over into the motor home and he starts talking me through
0:33:04 > 0:33:07what it was like when he was young and going to the drive-in
0:33:07 > 0:33:11and trying to pick up girls and he breaks out a bottle of tequila.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14Next thing I know, we down a whole bottle of tequila,
0:33:14 > 0:33:18Bob Seger and I, and then they knock on the door,
0:33:18 > 0:33:21"Ready for you on set!" So I'm drunk in the whole video.
0:33:21 > 0:33:25And it wasn't just that. You were also in a Tom Petty video.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28Drunk in that one too.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31- Drunk today? - Hmm, yeah.- A little bit.
0:33:31 > 0:33:37Now, cars. I know you are what we call a petrol head,
0:33:37 > 0:33:41I think you call a gear head. We know this... I've got an inkling of it,
0:33:41 > 0:33:44because when I was watching Episodes,
0:33:44 > 0:33:47we've got a clip here which gives us a bit of an insight.
0:33:47 > 0:33:48Let's just run this.
0:33:48 > 0:33:52- Tell me that's not yours! - You like?- Oh!
0:33:52 > 0:33:55- I read there was only three in the whole world.- Yes.
0:33:55 > 0:34:02- Me, the Sultan Of Brunei and some drug guy.- Oh, it's magnificent.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05Here.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08- And that's why I was never picked. Really?- Go for it!
0:34:08 > 0:34:12I am SO happy.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Oh!
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Oh!
0:34:18 > 0:34:19Oh!
0:34:19 > 0:34:21- Get a room!- Can I?
0:34:21 > 0:34:24I wish I knew how to drive.
0:34:30 > 0:34:34That's an Alfa 8C convertible. That's a very rare car.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36You end up in an XK in that first series.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39Right. That was a funny story about that car because
0:34:39 > 0:34:43when they agreed to let us use it in the show, it hadn't been sold yet.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45By the time we needed it, someone had bought it,
0:34:45 > 0:34:49so it showed up with its own security team and everything else.
0:34:49 > 0:34:53- I got to drive it maybe five feet. - YOU did?- Yeah.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55Steve drove it further than I did.
0:34:55 > 0:35:00This year, it's Ron Dennis's personal Mercedes SLR he loaned us.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04- What was that like?- I didn't get to drive that one either!
0:35:04 > 0:35:08You're the only one crazy enough to let me behind the wheel, apparently.
0:35:08 > 0:35:14- Now, your car history is chequered, isn't it?- At best, yes.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16You had an Audi 5000, which we'd call 100.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20That was the one that had the unintended acceleration stories.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Yeah, not the one I had, but I heard about that.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26It was like a crap shoot.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29And then there was a Fiat X/19 that came,
0:35:29 > 0:35:32which is like a motorised vajazzle, I always think, the X1/9.
0:35:32 > 0:35:36Yeah, that was probably a mistake. I bought it at a used car lot.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39I was driving by and, you know, "Ooh!
0:35:39 > 0:35:42"That looks like a good waste of money right there."
0:35:42 > 0:35:45You used to have a Porsche Turbo, didn't you?
0:35:45 > 0:35:49Yeah, I had a 2000 996 turbo.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51As I understand it, you modified that,
0:35:51 > 0:35:53cos when we buy cars in Europe, BMWs or Porsches
0:35:53 > 0:35:56or whatever they might be, that's what they're like,
0:35:56 > 0:35:58whereas in the States,
0:35:58 > 0:36:01there seems to be a culture of you buy a car
0:36:01 > 0:36:04and then you take it to a shop and somebody tweaks it and fiddles with it.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08- Right.- Is that something you just feel you have to do?
0:36:08 > 0:36:13Well, for me, it's like, if someone who doesn't know anything about cars
0:36:13 > 0:36:16can just go down to the store and get the same car,
0:36:16 > 0:36:17that's not right.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21I mean, I love cars, so mine should go a LITTLE faster, I think.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25Are you a man who goes and drives on circuits?
0:36:25 > 0:36:27Occasionally, yeah, mostly with the bikes.
0:36:27 > 0:36:31- I know that's a sore subject. - No, you can talk about bikes. You've got three seconds.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35And they're up.
0:36:35 > 0:36:38So, have you ever driven round Laguna Seca,
0:36:38 > 0:36:40which is your nearest track, I guess?
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Yeah, Willow Springs is probably closer,
0:36:43 > 0:36:47but Laguna Sega is such a beautiful facility. You know, the Corkscrew there.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50The Corkscrew is a corner that I just find impossible
0:36:50 > 0:36:52to get round without crashing.
0:36:52 > 0:36:57Six storeys I think it drops. It's left, right, it's six storeys.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00Yeah, it's not my idea of fun. Our track is much easier.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04I know you took your trip down here quite seriously,
0:37:04 > 0:37:07because you told our researcher, you were asking about the Kia
0:37:07 > 0:37:11and the roll cage, which you said, "Ah, that'll make it more rigid."
0:37:11 > 0:37:14We've never had any of this before from a guest, somebody that keen.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17That's probably the best handling Kia there is.
0:37:17 > 0:37:21- Pretty nice little car.- Who here would like to see Matt's lap?
0:37:21 > 0:37:25- AUDIENCE CHEERS IN ASSENT Me too, yeah!- Let's have a look.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33Just don't use the brake as much, that's all.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35No, you're going to need the brakes there.
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Were you OK with having a stick-shift on your left?
0:37:37 > 0:37:40Yeah, I missed a couple of shifts here and there, but...
0:37:40 > 0:37:44- Well, that looks, that's the sort of tidy corner.- Sloppy at best.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47We're keeping it tidy through there.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50The more boring it looks, the faster it often is.
0:37:50 > 0:37:56That's, well, very boring indeed through there. Hammerhead.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59Almost got the front wheel off the ground there, but not quite.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03That's very tight on the way out.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08HE WHISTLES
0:38:08 > 0:38:11It was obviously boring you to death as well out there.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14Flat through there, yeah, no lifting.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Your heart is beating once every three hours.
0:38:21 > 0:38:26You're going to cut this one. Yeah, that's very cut. Gambon, cut it.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31Oh, yes, very cut. And there we are, across the line.
0:38:38 > 0:38:42- What do you reckon?- Um...
0:38:42 > 0:38:47- Well, hopefully in the top half somewhere.- Hopefully in the top half.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50Well, often when laps look that drama-less, as it were,
0:38:50 > 0:38:52they can be quite fast.
0:38:52 > 0:38:57So there's the board. Rowan Atkinson currently leading, 1.42.2.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00- That's quick. - Yes, 1.42.2 is unbelievably quick.
0:39:00 > 0:39:04Halfway would put you with Bob Geldof, 1.48.1.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08You did it, Matt LeBlanc, in one minute...
0:39:10 > 0:39:11..40...
0:39:13 > 0:39:15..two...
0:39:15 > 0:39:17AUDIENCE GASPS
0:39:17 > 0:39:18..one.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21RAPTUROUS CHEERING
0:39:27 > 0:39:30Fastest ever!
0:39:32 > 0:39:35- Fastest ever!- That's not bad.
0:39:37 > 0:39:43- I just knew when I started... - Are you serious?- Absolutely serious.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47You were apparently running at 1.42.2, absolutely level with Rowan,
0:39:47 > 0:39:49who, by the way, has just hung himself,
0:39:49 > 0:39:54- and then on the last lap, popped in a 1.42.1.- Wow!
0:39:54 > 0:39:57So there we are, the fastest guest we've ever had. Matt LeBlanc!
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Thank you so much. Thank you, thanks.
0:40:04 > 0:40:10Now, we may be in a spot of economic bother at the moment,
0:40:10 > 0:40:15however, Rolls-Royce, Bentley and Aston Martin are all enjoying
0:40:15 > 0:40:18record sales, and all because of demand from China.
0:40:18 > 0:40:23The thing is, though, that people with adenoids are saying in five years' time,
0:40:23 > 0:40:26the Chinese are going to stop buying our cars
0:40:26 > 0:40:28and WE will start buying theirs.
0:40:28 > 0:40:31In fact, if I had a pound for everyone who said,
0:40:31 > 0:40:35"Soon you will be driving a Chinese car," I'd be able to afford a Chinese car.
0:40:35 > 0:40:40To see if they have a point, Jeremy and I decided to pop over to Beijing
0:40:40 > 0:40:43and find out what all the fuss is about.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55For the last 50 years,
0:40:55 > 0:40:57there have been two types of transport in China.
0:40:57 > 0:41:03If you were Chairman Mao, you had a honky, red-flag armoured limo.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06If you were not Chairman Mao, you had one of these.
0:41:09 > 0:41:12Or if you were really lucky, you had one of these.
0:41:12 > 0:41:17Even in the early '90s, the idea that you would own a car was complete madness,
0:41:17 > 0:41:20because you'd never have been able to afford it,
0:41:20 > 0:41:24and even if you could afford it, you weren't allowed to have one.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27Now, though, things have changed.
0:41:34 > 0:41:41In 1977, there were one million cars in China.
0:41:41 > 0:41:47By 2008, there were 51 million. Now there are 85 million.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50And every day that number swells by 38,000.
0:41:50 > 0:41:57Somebody buys a new car in China every 2.3 seconds.
0:42:00 > 0:42:01To keep up with demand,
0:42:01 > 0:42:05China's car factories are running at light speed.
0:42:05 > 0:42:11Last year, the whole of Europe combined produced 16.9 million vehicles.
0:42:11 > 0:42:17China all on its own produced 1.3 million more than that.
0:42:17 > 0:42:23And it's not just Chinese companies that are cashing in on the boom.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26Audi is now making long-wheelbase versions of its cars
0:42:26 > 0:42:30specifically for sale in China and nowhere else,
0:42:30 > 0:42:35because in China, space in the back matters more than anything else.
0:42:35 > 0:42:40China is now the world's second-biggest oil consumer,
0:42:40 > 0:42:44taking more barrels per day than India and Japan combined.
0:42:44 > 0:42:50By 2025, the road network will be big enough to cover the whole of the British Isles -
0:42:50 > 0:42:54all of it, Scottish Highlands, the lot -
0:42:54 > 0:42:5720 times over.
0:42:57 > 0:43:00So where did it all begin?
0:43:00 > 0:43:04Well, one of the first cars ever to be sold in China was this.
0:43:04 > 0:43:09The CA6410UA.
0:43:09 > 0:43:13Better known to you and I as the Austin Maestro.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16Actually, it's the back end of a Maestro,
0:43:16 > 0:43:21but the front end of a Montego, and it's powered by a Toyota engine.
0:43:21 > 0:43:26The history behind this car though is even more complicated.
0:43:28 > 0:43:32In 1998, a Chinese tobacco company bought the tooling
0:43:32 > 0:43:36for the Maestro and the Montego so they could be made in China.
0:43:36 > 0:43:42In order to make them in China, they had to tell the authorities that they were building buses.
0:43:42 > 0:43:47This car - or I should say THESE cars, because this is a bit of a cut-and-shut job -
0:43:47 > 0:43:50these were terrible when they were being built in Britain,
0:43:50 > 0:43:54so imagine what they like when they were being made using worn-out tools
0:43:54 > 0:43:58by a company that's the Chinese equivalent of Player's No 6.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00It's just hopeless!
0:44:07 > 0:44:11Pretty soon, various bright sparks in China started to think.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14Why buy the rights to make cars we don't want
0:44:14 > 0:44:18when we can just copy the ones we DO want?
0:44:18 > 0:44:20The Chinese are very good at this sort of thing.
0:44:20 > 0:44:24I'm speaking to you from behind a pair of fake Ray-Bans
0:44:24 > 0:44:29wearing a fake Armani jacket, carrying a fake Louis Vuitton bag,
0:44:29 > 0:44:33in which we find a fake iPad
0:44:33 > 0:44:36and a fake iPhone.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38And if we consult my fake Omega,
0:44:38 > 0:44:42we see that it's 2:35. Probably.
0:44:42 > 0:44:47Which means it's time to pop into the fake Starbucks over there
0:44:47 > 0:44:49for a cup of fake coffee.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52It seems, then, that the expression "copyright infringement"
0:44:52 > 0:44:56doesn't translate terribly well into Mandarin.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01All of which explains this.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04It looks like a BMW X5,
0:45:04 > 0:45:07but actually, it's a blatant copy,
0:45:07 > 0:45:15called the Shuanhuan S-CEO HBJ6474Y.
0:45:17 > 0:45:19Then there's this, a copy of the Fiat Panda.
0:45:21 > 0:45:25And this, a copy of the Smart ForTwo.
0:45:25 > 0:45:29And this, a copy of the Daewoo Matiz.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Did you hear about the Lifan motorcycles?
0:45:32 > 0:45:36Lifan is a Chinese company that make copies of small Honda motorcycles,
0:45:36 > 0:45:40but to make sure you don't notice, they change the name on the tank.
0:45:40 > 0:45:45- To what?- Hongda. H-O-N-G-D-A.
0:45:45 > 0:45:51- Hongda? So on that basis, is this Mini a Minging?- It should be, yes.
0:45:51 > 0:45:56- Because it is the most tragic-looking thing.- It's awful.
0:45:56 > 0:46:00It's like somebody's described a Mini to somebody on the telephone. Or sent a blurry fax.
0:46:00 > 0:46:04- "There we are, that's what it looks like." - It is very cheap.- How much is it?
0:46:04 > 0:46:10- £4,100.- That is cheap. - But this Toyota Aygo over here is only £3,500.
0:46:10 > 0:46:13It's not a Aygo. That's an FO.
0:46:13 > 0:46:16That's what it's called. FO. I think that's a message to Toyota
0:46:16 > 0:46:21if Toyota ever decide to sue the fake makers.
0:46:21 > 0:46:23Do these people ever get taken to court?
0:46:23 > 0:46:29Yeah. BMW sued the people making the X5 fake and they lost.
0:46:29 > 0:46:33- Really?- Yeah. The Chinese government said, "No, it doesn't look like anything like an X5."
0:46:33 > 0:46:36- That's funny, I thought they looked really similar.- No, they don't.
0:46:36 > 0:46:40- Don't they?- No.- It's just me? - No, it's just you.- Right. OK.
0:46:40 > 0:46:44It's easy to see why they were copying,
0:46:44 > 0:46:49because when they tried to go it alone, the results weren't very good.
0:46:52 > 0:46:57This tripod is the XF15OZK-4,
0:46:57 > 0:47:01and naturally, we couldn't wait to try it.
0:47:01 > 0:47:05Right. You see one yet...?
0:47:05 > 0:47:08Oh, God! James!
0:47:08 > 0:47:12'On the plus side, we now knew where the engine was,
0:47:12 > 0:47:16'information that came in handy about 20 seconds later.'
0:47:16 > 0:47:18ENGINE STRUGGLES TO START
0:47:19 > 0:47:21Come on!
0:47:23 > 0:47:28'After some local bodging, we were back in and on our way.'
0:47:34 > 0:47:35Wow!
0:47:35 > 0:47:38Oh, that's reverse. That's gone into nought, fifth, second.
0:47:38 > 0:47:41First, that was it.
0:47:43 > 0:47:44Fourth.
0:47:47 > 0:47:52That's going to look very funny from the outside, that. Now you're doing second.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55'Having mastered the gearbox, it was time to open up
0:47:55 > 0:47:58'the single-cylinder 12-horsepower engine.'
0:48:03 > 0:48:07The acceleration is blinding!
0:48:09 > 0:48:12It's like a safety device.
0:48:12 > 0:48:16You accelerate too hard, your feet come off the pedal.
0:48:19 > 0:48:22- Hold on to your spine.- Ah!
0:48:23 > 0:48:272004, this car was launched.
0:48:27 > 0:48:32- If I'd shown this to you and asked you when it was built, when would you have said?- 1957.
0:48:32 > 0:48:34- I would say it was older than me. - Yeah.
0:48:34 > 0:48:37Ow! Ow!
0:48:37 > 0:48:39Poor quality!
0:48:39 > 0:48:40BOTH: Uh!
0:48:40 > 0:48:45Come on, redeeming feature, James. There must be a redeeming feature.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48Er... It's character-building.
0:48:50 > 0:48:53- No, because I mean this... - BOTH: Oh, no!
0:48:53 > 0:48:55CARS HORNS BEEP
0:48:56 > 0:48:59ENGINE STRUGGLES TO START
0:49:00 > 0:49:04I think our test drive's over.
0:49:04 > 0:49:10So we moved on to look at some more modern Chinese cars.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16This is the JACJ7.
0:49:16 > 0:49:21At the 6th annual Chinese government procurement conference,
0:49:21 > 0:49:25it won the highly coveted first choice in middle class
0:49:25 > 0:49:28of government procurement award.
0:49:30 > 0:49:34And then there's the Haval M2, which is...
0:49:34 > 0:49:39Well, we have absolutely no idea what it is.
0:49:39 > 0:49:42- Can I read you something from the blurb?- Yeah.
0:49:42 > 0:49:46About the styling of the M2. I think this absolutely sums it up.
0:49:46 > 0:49:50"Body on the side of the lion to go straight fair
0:49:50 > 0:49:54"with enough of the masculine qualities of men."
0:49:57 > 0:50:04If we're honest, the M2 and the J7 aren't much good.
0:50:07 > 0:50:10So, are there any Chinese cars which are?
0:50:14 > 0:50:17Well, this is a Guangzhou Trumpchi.
0:50:20 > 0:50:23And it's not made from tin foil or bits of old Austin.
0:50:23 > 0:50:27Underneath, it's an Alfa Romeo 166.
0:50:27 > 0:50:31This might be all right.
0:50:33 > 0:50:38I think, however, that this Roewe 350 will be even better.
0:50:38 > 0:50:43The Roewe 350 is particularly important,
0:50:43 > 0:50:48because it will eventually become an MG in Britain, the MG 5.
0:50:48 > 0:50:49It will be changed slightly.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51The engine will be different because
0:50:51 > 0:50:54it needs to meet European legislation for emissions,
0:50:54 > 0:50:57but, basically, I'm driving a car
0:50:57 > 0:51:00that you will be able to buy in Britain very soon.
0:51:02 > 0:51:06Essentially, then, what we have here is an Alfa Romeo and an MG.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11Those, of course, are very sporting names,
0:51:11 > 0:51:14and that's why we've come to this very picturesque racetrack.
0:51:17 > 0:51:21What we're going to do is see which of these cars can set
0:51:21 > 0:51:25- the fastest lap time. - Well, WE'RE not.- No, we're not.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27We're going to use our tame racing driver.
0:51:27 > 0:51:30Some say he's the Stig, but he isn't.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32He is the Stig's Chinese cousin.
0:51:38 > 0:51:43Now, I should explain, driving is his second favourite thing.
0:51:43 > 0:51:47- What's his first favourite thing? - Attacking people. He does it a lot.
0:51:47 > 0:51:51He's constantly at it. Why are you doing that?
0:51:51 > 0:51:54Why don't you go and do some driving?
0:51:54 > 0:51:58- Do some driving. Get into the car! Stop attacking us!- Get in the car.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01No, he's got to get in the car. Get in the car.
0:52:01 > 0:52:05- Trumpchi. Trumpchi. - Get in the Trumpchi. No!
0:52:08 > 0:52:11No, that's the director. That's the director!
0:52:11 > 0:52:16What if I start the engine, would that do it?
0:52:16 > 0:52:19- Come on, come on, in you go. - They bow, don't they?
0:52:19 > 0:52:22- Go in. Get in.- Oh, yes!
0:52:25 > 0:52:29That's the worst Stig we've ever had.
0:52:32 > 0:52:34HE COUNTS DOWN
0:52:40 > 0:52:42Attack Stig doesn't attack the throttle, does he?
0:52:44 > 0:52:47- Good-looking car, that. - It is, it's growing on me.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50- It's got the boot shape of the Lancia Gamma.- Yeah.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56- And it has an Alfa engine. - Does it?- Yes.
0:52:57 > 0:53:00- But it is called a Trumpchi. - It is, but...
0:53:00 > 0:53:04That is quite funny. What are you driving these days, Jeremy?
0:53:04 > 0:53:08- Well, it's interesting - underneath, it's an Alfa. - It's a Trumpchi.
0:53:11 > 0:53:16Attack Stig is back, everybody! Watch out! And across the line.
0:53:16 > 0:53:181:50, dead.
0:53:18 > 0:53:21We've got to get him out of that car and into the Roewe.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25Get him in the Roewe as quickly as possible.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27Get him in the Roewe! It's interesting.
0:53:27 > 0:53:29He's attacking the starter.
0:53:29 > 0:53:32I thought it was a racist thing, he just didn't like us.
0:53:32 > 0:53:37- He's coming towards us now. No. - You were good! 1:50 dead.
0:53:37 > 0:53:43Eventually, Attack Stig was corralled into James's Roewe.
0:53:43 > 0:53:46HE COUNTS DOWN
0:53:49 > 0:53:51That begins quickly.
0:53:51 > 0:53:55- How many horsepower has it got?- 107.
0:53:55 > 0:53:58That's a 1.5, isn't it?
0:53:59 > 0:54:02- How have they got so few horsepower? - I don't know.
0:54:02 > 0:54:06And I don't like to sound like you, but that's not enough power.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09Because they called it Roewe, because Roewe...
0:54:09 > 0:54:12BOTH: Is how they would say Rover.
0:54:12 > 0:54:16- Yeah.- I thought they'd say Lo-ver.
0:54:18 > 0:54:23The seconds ticked by, but there was no sign of my Roewe.
0:54:23 > 0:54:26- Where has he gone?- I don't know.
0:54:30 > 0:54:33After we dragged Attack Stig off the marshal...
0:54:33 > 0:54:35Across the line!
0:54:35 > 0:54:38..we got a clean lap time for the Roewe.
0:54:38 > 0:54:42Victory by one tenth of a second.
0:54:42 > 0:54:46A fairly hollow victory, though, as we estimate that on the same track
0:54:46 > 0:54:52a comparable European car would be ten or 15 seconds faster.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55So, what about safety?
0:54:55 > 0:55:00Chinese crash tests are much the same as the ones we have in Europe.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03But the speeds are a bit lower.
0:55:27 > 0:55:32- Any injuries?- None at all.- Nothing? - Not a scratch. What about the car?
0:55:32 > 0:55:36- No damage at all. - Really?- No.- That's a pass.
0:55:40 > 0:55:42Are you ready?
0:55:47 > 0:55:49ELECTRONIC CHINESE VOICE
0:55:49 > 0:55:53Having satisfied ourselves that these cars
0:55:53 > 0:55:55had been through all their crash tests,
0:55:55 > 0:56:00we were confident that we could take them onto the streets of Beijing.
0:56:02 > 0:56:05This might not be as nice to drive,
0:56:05 > 0:56:08or as fast or as safe as a European car,
0:56:08 > 0:56:13but it offers everything the Chinese motorist would want.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16There's lots of space in the back, a couple of nice gadgets,
0:56:16 > 0:56:23wooden trim and enough headroom for anyone up to five foot three.
0:56:24 > 0:56:29The editor of a Chinese car magazine told me this morning
0:56:29 > 0:56:33that the Chinese like good equipment in cars, good gadgets.
0:56:33 > 0:56:35And this actually does quite well.
0:56:35 > 0:56:40It has got sat-nav, incomprehensible of course, reversing cameras,
0:56:40 > 0:56:43decent audio system, automatic air-conditioning,
0:56:43 > 0:56:47audio controls on the steering wheel,
0:56:47 > 0:56:48digital dashboard.
0:56:48 > 0:56:51Pretty good.
0:56:52 > 0:56:57I'd like to say that this feels like an old Alfa Romeo,
0:56:57 > 0:57:01but it doesn't really, chiefly because of the automatic gearbox,
0:57:01 > 0:57:05which was made by a man who I think is a greengrocer.
0:57:05 > 0:57:08Certainly, he has no comprehension
0:57:08 > 0:57:11of what an automatic gearbox should do.
0:57:11 > 0:57:16Stop changing gear! Don't do that!
0:57:16 > 0:57:20It's all very well Jeremy whining and shouting at his gearbox,
0:57:20 > 0:57:21but he should try this.
0:57:21 > 0:57:25This is a three-speed automatic with overdrive.
0:57:25 > 0:57:28It's quite smooth, actually, but as a concept,
0:57:28 > 0:57:32it's just a tad old-fashioned.
0:57:32 > 0:57:36It is worth bearing in mind, though, that both these cars
0:57:36 > 0:57:39cost £12,000, and that in China,
0:57:39 > 0:57:43a base model Audi A3 is more than twice that.
0:57:43 > 0:57:48If you bear that price difference in mind
0:57:48 > 0:57:53and ignore the gearbox, it's really not too bad.
0:57:53 > 0:57:54Rides nicely.
0:57:54 > 0:57:56CLUNK!
0:57:56 > 0:57:58Most of the time. Er...
0:57:58 > 0:58:03At this point, we ran out of things to say about our cars,
0:58:03 > 0:58:06so we met up for a discussion.
0:58:06 > 0:58:12- So, James May, would you buy a Roewe 350 in Britain?- No.
0:58:12 > 0:58:15- No.- No. Would you buy a Trumpchi?
0:58:15 > 0:58:19Only if it was very cheap. But look at it this way.
0:58:19 > 0:58:24In just five years, China has gone from making that,
0:58:24 > 0:58:28whatever it is, to making these.
0:58:28 > 0:58:29With that rate of progress,
0:58:29 > 0:58:32where are they going to be in five years' time?
0:58:32 > 0:58:35That does take us back to our original question -
0:58:35 > 0:58:40in five years' time, everybody will be driving Chinese cars - yes, we probably will.
0:58:40 > 0:58:43- We are doomed.- We are doomed. - We've absolutely...
0:58:43 > 0:58:45Yai!
0:58:46 > 0:58:50In the plums!
0:59:18 > 0:59:22THEME TUNE PLAYED IN THE STYLE OF TRADITIONAL CHINESE MUSIC
0:59:35 > 0:59:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd