0:00:18 > 0:00:21Hello! Thank you, everybody, thank you,
0:00:21 > 0:00:25and welcome to what is a Top Gear Special,
0:00:25 > 0:00:30a two-part adventure around the heart of Africa.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33We were each told to buy a second-hand estate car
0:00:33 > 0:00:37here in Britain for not more than 1,500 quid.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40And then we were told to report, with our cars,
0:00:40 > 0:00:44to the start line, which was in a small village in rural Uganda.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47So, you've seen Sir David Attenborough's take on Africa,
0:00:47 > 0:00:49now it's time to see ours.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07'I was the first to arrive and I was feeling a bit nervous.'
0:01:09 > 0:01:16As you can see, I've gone for a BMW 528i, and on the internet,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19it looked fantastic.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22But, I've now had the chance to examine it more closely,
0:01:22 > 0:01:26and one or two things are giving me cause for concern.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29For example, it's got a manual gearbox.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Now that tells me the previous owner was the sort of chap that
0:01:32 > 0:01:35likes to take it to the max between gear changes.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38Secondly, the front tyres are Pirellis,
0:01:38 > 0:01:41the back tyres are made by a company I've never heard of.
0:01:41 > 0:01:46So that tells me it's been run on a tight budget.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48I don't know what the challenge is going to be,
0:01:48 > 0:01:52but I'm going to be doing it like that.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Oh, hang on, that is the throb of a turbocharged flat-4 engine.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58A sound which, all over the world,
0:01:58 > 0:02:00heralds the imminent arrival of a moron.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03'And it did here, too.'
0:02:06 > 0:02:08It's Richard Hammond, everybody,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11who I suspect has started to dye his hair.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14See what you think.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Hammond!
0:02:15 > 0:02:16And there it is.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18It is, yes.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22Well, there can be only one word. Legend. Subaru Impreza WRX estate.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26And driven by emeritus professors all over the world.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Yes, yes. No, no. Just hang on. Here's my thinking.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32I don't know what challenges face us here, but think about it.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Subaru stands for Toughest-Thing-On-The-Planet,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38WRX stands for world rallycross, which the Impreza just owned.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41It's all there. Four-wheel-drive, turbocharged estate.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44But you're going to look stupid doing it.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45I don't have to look.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I know I'm wearing double denim, and that is a mistake,
0:02:47 > 0:02:52but you've got Daktari trousers on, and the wheels of the agri-yob.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Actually, it looks a bit like you.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55What?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58You know, small, and with a sort of surprised expression.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59- "A tree!"- Yes.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00"A house!"
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Well, then, that's perfect. My face in that car.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Honestly, I'm so chuffed. This time, I've done this right.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Big boot.- Practical.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09Practical?
0:03:09 > 0:03:11So, what have you got?
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Oh!
0:03:12 > 0:03:15528i, rear wheel drive, 2.8 straight-6.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16How many miles has it done?
0:03:16 > 0:03:21151,000. This, though, is the last of the mechanical 5-series.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23After this, they started using computers.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25What, their solid state?
0:03:25 > 0:03:29This is simple, mechanical engineering. Anywhere, listen.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Yes?
0:03:30 > 0:03:31- James isn't here.- No.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33No surprises there.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35I know for a fact what he's got.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36Go on.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37He'll have a Volvo.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Yeah.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- He'll have gone... - Yes, yes, yes.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Because you know he's got no imagination at all.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48'As it turned out, James did have a Volvo,
0:03:48 > 0:03:50'but not the sort of Volvo we were expecting.'
0:03:51 > 0:03:53That isn't an 850 R, is it?
0:03:53 > 0:03:54It is, it is!
0:03:55 > 0:03:56That's a bold call!
0:03:56 > 0:03:57- Gentlemen.- Yes?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59You bought an 850 R?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01It doesn't matter, it's a Volvo.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05This defines the estate car. Nothing else is an estate car, only this.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Have you seen the tyres on an 850 R?
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Well, there aren't any.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09It has tyres.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12It's just a thin veneer of paint on a wheel.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16But they're high-performance tyres. It's a high-performance car.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17- I know.- It does 146mph.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Do you remember British Touring Car Championships?
0:04:20 > 0:04:21These were great fun to watch.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23- Yes. And they were on dirt tracks, weren't they?- No.
0:04:23 > 0:04:24- Racetracks.- Yes.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Do you think when Volvo sat down to the design the 850 R,
0:04:27 > 0:04:29they said, "Now, Africa."
0:04:29 > 0:04:31"We need to try and get some market share over there,
0:04:31 > 0:04:35"so let's lower the suspension, fit very low profile tyres."
0:04:35 > 0:04:37They didn't think that in so many words,
0:04:37 > 0:04:41but when you design a Volvo, you design it for everything.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43It doesn't look at home, does it?
0:04:43 > 0:04:44That looks at home.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47That looks at home on the M4 in the outside lane,
0:04:47 > 0:04:48too close to the car in front,
0:04:48 > 0:04:52being driven by an embittered toner distribution manager.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54He's right.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Let's be honest.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57That's going to beach.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- It's not.- It is!
0:04:59 > 0:05:02'As we argued, a challenge arrived.'
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Oh, hello.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Thank you.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07Oh!
0:05:07 > 0:05:11"You will find the source of the River Nile."
0:05:13 > 0:05:15- That's it?- That's it.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Oh, so we're Livingstone, Burton and Speke!
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Yes, we are.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21And I have the right car!
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Oh, come on, for exploring. If Livingstone was still alive...
0:05:25 > 0:05:27He's not, is he?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30No. Ken Livingstone is, but it's not Ken Livingstone.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32If the other, explorer Livingstone bloke were alive,
0:05:32 > 0:05:35he would drive a Subaru Impreza WRX estate.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Yeah, but Speke, my favourite of all the Victorian explorers, Beemer man.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- Was he?- Yeah.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42So do we just go that way?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Well, do you know, I'd head downhill, personally.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Oh, no, no, uphill!
0:05:49 > 0:05:50Right, uphill.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Looking for the source of a river, uphill.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Here we go.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01The source of the...
0:06:01 > 0:06:02RUMBLING
0:06:02 > 0:06:04The source of the River Nile.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13The Nile, the longest river in the world.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17A mighty 4,000-mile ribbon of year-round water,
0:06:17 > 0:06:21running from the heart of Africa to the Mediterranean Sea,
0:06:21 > 0:06:25bringing life and sustenance to millions.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Finding its source has occupied the minds
0:06:28 > 0:06:32and claimed the lives of explorers for thousands of years.
0:06:32 > 0:06:37Roman legions, Arab traders, the Victorian British.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42All have forged a path through the fast heat of this awe-inspiring
0:06:42 > 0:06:47continent to find where the raging torrent came from.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53And today, we would join that illustrious band of brothers.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57We would take up the challenge no matter what the perils,
0:06:57 > 0:07:00no matter what the hardships, no matter what...
0:07:01 > 0:07:08I'm sorry to interrupt myself, but I think we have a problem.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Erm...
0:07:10 > 0:07:11We've found it.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Right.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Erm...
0:07:20 > 0:07:21Erm...
0:07:21 > 0:07:23That is Lake Victoria.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24It is.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Man has known for 160 years that Lake Victoria
0:07:27 > 0:07:31is the source of the Nile, and it's not like we could miss it.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32It's quite large.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33It is the size of Latvia.
0:07:33 > 0:07:34- Is it?- Yeah.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37This exploring is not as hard as I thought it would be.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38No, my car hasn't suffered at all.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40No, I'm fine.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42What are we going to do for the rest of...?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44We're only a few minutes in.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47We could pretend we haven't. If we stand like this...
0:07:47 > 0:07:48No, because you can hear it.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50You can't miss it.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51What?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Look, we've already found it, you idiot.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55That is the source of the Nile.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57"This is not the source of the Nile."
0:07:57 > 0:07:59It is.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01"The source of the Nile is still disputed.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05"The Victorians thought it was Lake Victoria,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08"but today we know this huge body of water is fed by many rivers.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12"One of them is the true source, and even today, in 2012,
0:08:12 > 0:08:16"experts have not been able to determine which it is.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17"You will."
0:08:23 > 0:08:24You know what?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27This is an opportunity for us
0:08:27 > 0:08:29to write ourselves into the history books.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32I mean, finding the source of the Nile, if we can say this is it...
0:08:34 > 0:08:36And then it would be marked on a map,
0:08:36 > 0:08:38and we'd be able to go, "That was us."
0:08:38 > 0:08:39This is quite a big one.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41That's quite good, actually. I quite like that.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43What?
0:08:43 > 0:08:47It says experts have not been able to determine which it is.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Yeah.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Well, where do we fit in?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54'We broke out the map, and discovered that two places
0:08:54 > 0:08:57'are currently marked as the source of the Nile.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01'One in Burundi, found by a Dr Burckhard Waldecker,
0:09:01 > 0:09:04'and one in Rwanda, found by Joanna Lumley.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09'And since our source had to be further from the Mediterranean
0:09:09 > 0:09:13'than either of these two, it had to be further south.'
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Hang on, hang on. Here's the Nile, OK, but look.
0:09:19 > 0:09:26The Nile also comes here, into this lake, and then this lake,
0:09:26 > 0:09:28which is connected to that lake.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31It doesn't say on the map, but if these two are connected, look,
0:09:31 > 0:09:33this will be the source of the Nile, down here.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Yeah, but if those two are connected,
0:09:35 > 0:09:38I think we'd know about it by now, and they would have drawn it on.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39No, no, you say that,
0:09:39 > 0:09:42but David Livingstone thought the source of the Nile was down here.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44So what we need to do is go here
0:09:44 > 0:09:47and establish that these two are joined up,
0:09:47 > 0:09:49check it out, we're in business.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53And so our epic journey began.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00A journey that would see us taking on nature at its most brutal.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05There would be lions, insects and thick, glutinous mud.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11We'd have to climb every mountain and ford every stream.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16And we'd have to do it all in three second-hand cars we'd bought
0:10:16 > 0:10:18for less than 1,500 quid each.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Right, my car.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Well, it's got quite a sticky throttle, but other than that,
0:10:34 > 0:10:38every single thing works, even the air conditioning.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41I've never, ever had a car with working air conditioning
0:10:41 > 0:10:44before on one of these trips, but I have now, and it is joyous.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52The Impreza is all about that engine and drivetrain.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56You're just aware, constantly, that this is rally-bred.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59The other two, they're just sporty versions of ordinary estate cars.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02This is the best car here, fact.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09It's a cracking car, the Volvo 850 R.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12This one's done 145,000 miles.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14It's just clicked over, in fact, onto that figure,
0:11:14 > 0:11:16and you wouldn't really know.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18It's so smooth, the transmission is excellent,
0:11:18 > 0:11:21the engine is silky, everything works.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Except the air conditioning.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25But at least that saves me
0:11:25 > 0:11:28the effort of getting really annoyed when the other two deliberately
0:11:28 > 0:11:33break it out of spite, jealousy and small-mindedness.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34SIREN BLARES
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Crikey! It's the Ugandan rozzers.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49I think the President's just driven past us.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56A couple of rules you need to know, really, about Uganda,
0:11:56 > 0:11:58if you're coming here.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Number one, if you're a male homosexual and you indulge in
0:12:02 > 0:12:05your homosexuality, it's life imprisonment.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06That's very important to know.
0:12:08 > 0:12:13Also, it is compulsory here for motorcyclists to wear crash helmets,
0:12:13 > 0:12:17unless you are a woman on her way back from the hairdressers.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Then you are allowed to wear a carrier bag on your head instead.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23I promise that's true!
0:12:29 > 0:12:32At this point, the producers told us to stop off
0:12:32 > 0:12:35at the still bullet-scarred Entebbe Airport.
0:12:39 > 0:12:45It was here, in 1976, that Israeli special forces staged a daring
0:12:45 > 0:12:49operation to rescue passengers from a hijacked airliner.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Oh, wow, look at this!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06I'll tell you what, I couldn't be Israeli special forces.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07You'd get out of breath.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08I'm exhausted.
0:13:08 > 0:13:13They'd be sitting there thinking, "Help, here comes help," and then...
0:13:13 > 0:13:15IMITATES WHEEZING
0:13:15 > 0:13:17"Sorry, just give us five!"
0:13:17 > 0:13:19More bullet holes.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22'Out on the balcony, we saw something a bit worrying.'
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Is that a Ford Scorpio?
0:13:25 > 0:13:26- Where?- There.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28It is.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Estate.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32I'd say that's there for one reason!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34That's why they brought us here. Funny.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36- Funny.- Because what that is...
0:13:36 > 0:13:41- That's the forfeit car.- It is. If one of our cars goes wrong...
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Which, let's face it, James, yours is going to break in half.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I've always liked the Scorpio!
0:13:46 > 0:13:47You have not!
0:13:47 > 0:13:49You know that word you like, James, gopping?
0:13:49 > 0:13:50It is gopping!
0:13:50 > 0:13:54That was invented. Nothing has ever been more gopping than that!
0:13:55 > 0:13:57'And as we prepared to leave,
0:13:57 > 0:14:01'it looked like one of us would soon be driving it.'
0:14:01 > 0:14:02ENGINE REVS
0:14:02 > 0:14:04That's full throttle.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10It's revving, slightly, but I'm not doing it.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14You know this all-mechanical BMW of yours? You were very proud of that.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Yeah.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Does it have a fly-by-wire throttle?
0:14:17 > 0:14:18- Yeah.- Ha-ha-ha!
0:14:18 > 0:14:21So it's all mechanical, except that bit?
0:14:21 > 0:14:25'Jeremy broke out his vast and sophisticated toolkit.'
0:14:31 > 0:14:33What else is electrical in here?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35BOTH: Not the exhaust manifold.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38I've done the fuse box, if that's what that is.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41That's an air filter.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Right.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45"It's all mechanical, you can mend it with a hammer!"
0:14:45 > 0:14:47- If this works...- Yes?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50ENGINE REVS CONSISTENTLY
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Ha-ha-ha!
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Soldier on.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00With my throttle still not working brilliantly,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02we set off for the lakes.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06But first, we had to get through Uganda's capital city.
0:15:06 > 0:15:07Kampala.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19This is going to turn out to be one of those places
0:15:19 > 0:15:21with terrible crash statistics.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26In fact, Hammond was wrong.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Because to have a crash, first you have to be moving.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35Holy cow!
0:15:37 > 0:15:38That is...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42We're never, ever, ever going to get through.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50What are we going to do, seriously, here?
0:15:50 > 0:15:53We're never, ever going to get through there.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56'It's probably safe to say the Victorian explorers
0:15:56 > 0:15:58'didn't face problems as big as this.'
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Oh, Jesus!
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Sally Traffic, are you watching this on Radio 2?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Because this is what we call a traffic jam.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13From now on, just go, "Everything's going very well in England, really."
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Oh, my God.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Hammond, this is phenomenal.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23It is the heaviest traffic ever, ever seen.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30This is just like a scrapyard on the road in front.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Cars and vans piled on top of each other.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Going to finish our days here.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Well, we're all right if we want supper.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46I fancy a banana.
0:16:46 > 0:16:47Excuse me?
0:16:50 > 0:16:55'Not knowing the exchange rate, I accidentally bought more than one.'
0:16:55 > 0:16:56No, it's all right. Do I have all of them?
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Oh, Christ! Oh, bloody hell!
0:17:00 > 0:17:01How do you do that?
0:17:03 > 0:17:05How the hell do you do that?
0:17:05 > 0:17:07I can't!
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Three hours later, our average speed made for grim reading.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25It must quieten down soon.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29It's evening now.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32'But it didn't.'
0:18:00 > 0:18:01It wasn't a dream.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04I'm still here.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11I can't get over how heavy those bananas were.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14How could she have them on her head?
0:18:17 > 0:18:20'By this stage, we were pretty famished,
0:18:20 > 0:18:22'but then breakfast turned up.'
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Wow, that's just a meat feast in front of me here!
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Hang on, look, look. Right.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Well, you were here first, so do I buy yours?
0:18:33 > 0:18:34More bones.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Bone.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- What, it's goat bone? - Yeah.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40I don't want that.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43How much is the water?
0:18:43 > 0:18:44- Yes.- How much is that?
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- This one.- It just happens to be that.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Obviously, it is. Of course it is. Thank you very much.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53No, thank you. I've got one.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02What is it?
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Is it a chair leg?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Soon we found a dual carriageway,
0:19:08 > 0:19:11and, at last, the traffic started to move.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Freedom!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21That's it, that's the end!
0:19:25 > 0:19:28We headed west, towards the lakes,
0:19:28 > 0:19:32surprised at how easy this exploring was turning out to be.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37This is just tremendous. This is like being in northern France.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Look at that ahead.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Ha-ha, Hammond, you don't need a Subaru.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49This road is fantastically smooth.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Apparently it was built by the Chinese
0:19:51 > 0:19:53in exchange for some oil deal.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55It's like the Swiss have done it, or some Austrians.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Yeah, right now, we could be on the M4.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04But the point is, further on, if things get tough, if we end up
0:20:04 > 0:20:06off this road and on tracks,
0:20:06 > 0:20:08the other two will be completely stuffed.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10I will have the last laugh.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Wow!
0:20:15 > 0:20:16It's my town!
0:20:19 > 0:20:21We've just entered Jezza.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Oh, no!
0:20:25 > 0:20:28When I say we've just entered Jezza, that's a disgusting thought.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31We've come into Jezza. No, we haven't come into Jezza.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Even though we were on an important mission,
0:20:36 > 0:20:39I decided we should pull over and have a look around.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Jezza church.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46They've actually had a church where they worship me.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Protect and serve?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53I've never seen that and those close.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55That doesn't make any sense at all.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58My name is Jezza.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Your name is Jezza?
0:20:59 > 0:21:00My name is Jezza.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02What do you think of that?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07You'll like this, James.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10There is Jezza's back alley. Well found.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15At this point, to demonstrate that Hammond's car was too small,
0:21:15 > 0:21:17James and I bought him a present.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Oh!
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Do you like it?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- We like it, because it's really the dralon.- Yeah.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Because we know you like dralon because you're from Birmingham.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29And we know that you like the peacock and cheetah blend
0:21:29 > 0:21:33- which gives an African and yet Birmingham flavour.- Yes.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35And I've put it in my car and we know it fits.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38We know it fits, and mine. It fits in both our cars.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40- Does it?- Yes, it does.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41- Does it really?- Yes.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Precisely into your car?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44It's snug.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Snug.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Anyway, Hammond. There are plenty of people here who can help you.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Good. Let's pop it in the back of my car.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55OK, now, maybe I could...
0:21:55 > 0:21:57I think he's started to dye his hair.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Do you?
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Have a look. He's 45 and there isn't a grey hair.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- You know Paul McCartney?- Yeah.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Have a look at that.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08I think if I maybe...
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Oh, easy, yeah. That'll fit.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15Yeah.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Erm...
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Is it nearly in? Let's have a look.
0:22:20 > 0:22:21Pretty close.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24What you've got now is a big rear spoiler.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26That's how it runs.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Right, I think it's time to pull out of Jezza.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30I just hope no-one sees me doing it.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37'As we headed further West, we discovered that rural Uganda
0:22:37 > 0:22:39'is the world capital of the speed hump.'
0:22:42 > 0:22:43Oh, God!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46BOTTOM SCRAPES
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Ah-ya-ya!
0:22:48 > 0:22:51James is now regretting selecting the R.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Oh!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57If they get any bigger, I've had it, if I'm honest.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01'Annoyingly, though, the speed mountains
0:23:01 > 0:23:04'didn't seem to worry the agri-yob.'
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Easy. No problem, goodbye.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07Ah!
0:23:07 > 0:23:11'But Jeremy and I suffered, for mile after graunching mile.'
0:23:14 > 0:23:15Oh!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22That's it, no more.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Apart from that one.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26But that really was the absolute last one.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27Whoa!
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Oh, my God!
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Oh!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Relax.
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Not yet.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42'As night started to fall, it was time to look for a hotel.'
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Oh!
0:23:47 > 0:23:50'And Hammond thought we'd stand a better chance of finding one
0:23:50 > 0:23:53'if we switched to the side roads.'
0:23:53 > 0:23:55'Which was a great idea(!)'
0:23:55 > 0:23:56Whoa!
0:23:57 > 0:23:58Whoa!
0:23:58 > 0:23:59I can't stop!
0:24:01 > 0:24:02Oh! You idiot!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I can't stop it!
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Well, I can't stop it, either!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09I'm enjoying the sounds of disaster behind me.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Hammond, there had better be a really good hotel
0:24:13 > 0:24:15at the end of this.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18These buildings down here, there'll be a very nice hotel.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20One of those with a posh book in it.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24So, in your mind, because there's tea being grown,
0:24:24 > 0:24:27there's a sort of plantation house with a veranda and somebody saying,
0:24:27 > 0:24:29"Would you like a gin sling?"
0:24:29 > 0:24:33People in white linen suits with hats on have to come to tea
0:24:33 > 0:24:36plantations to test and buy tea for supermarkets.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38I've seen it on the television.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39They will need hotels to stay in,
0:24:39 > 0:24:42there will be one near the tea plantation, if not in it.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43Fact.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Hammond.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57'What?'
0:24:57 > 0:24:59If we're about to rejoin that main road,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02I'm going to have to get out and kill you very slowly, I'm afraid.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06I believe that is what has happened, yeah.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Still, at least it's a lovely evening.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20There you go. I told you there would be a hotel, and there it is.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30I don't see anybody coming out to help with our luggage.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32So, let's go and check in.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53Jesus.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- That is characterful, isn't it?- No.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Have you heard of those boutique hotels?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Small, with a style all of their own?
0:26:08 > 0:26:10You're getting that room.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12This one's got a chair and a table.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18I don't think you'd even notice the smell after a while.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Oh, my God.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Hammond!
0:26:38 > 0:26:40The next morning, desperate to redeem himself,
0:26:40 > 0:26:44Hammond called an emergency breakfast meeting.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Let's just face reality here.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51We're in Africa, and we're not in a big, touristy bit of Africa, are we?
0:26:52 > 0:26:53No.
0:26:53 > 0:26:58All the hotels are going to be like that or worse, and I've had an idea.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00If you suggest camping, there will be a live
0:27:00 > 0:27:02and celebrated television death.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Your love affair with tenting...
0:27:04 > 0:27:05No, I'm not camping.
0:27:05 > 0:27:06It's not, I...
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Let me finish. I haven't said tents.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- We've all three got estate cars, yeah?- Yes.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14Why don't we sleep in the cars?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16We can control it, it's ours, they're dry, warm...
0:27:18 > 0:27:19Just get in the car.
0:27:19 > 0:27:20Actually, that's not a bad idea.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Get a sleeping bag, sleep in your car.
0:27:22 > 0:27:27I could get a mattress that hasn't got excrement all over it.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31But seriously, you could get a mattress in your car, easy.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33I could easily get one. I'm not sure about you.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34Did you have that as an idea?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36He sort of did, yeah.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Come on, it's like camping, but it's not camping,
0:27:39 > 0:27:40because there's no tents.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43No, you're right, it's a good idea, but don't do that, "Come on,"
0:27:43 > 0:27:45as if we're supposed to go, "Hammond, you're brilliant,
0:27:45 > 0:27:48- "you've redeemed yourself with quite a good idea."- He hasn't.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50And this is where you've brought me for breakfast.
0:27:50 > 0:27:53No breakfast, then, obviously, because Christ The King,
0:27:53 > 0:27:54as it turns out, is shut.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Which means that Christ The King hasn't risen yet.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58That's the problem.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03Right, come on. It's a plan, it's stuff to do.
0:28:04 > 0:28:05'We split up,
0:28:05 > 0:28:09'and set about getting the stuff we'd need to convert our cars.'
0:28:11 > 0:28:15The best hotel room I ever stayed in was in South Beach, in Miami,
0:28:15 > 0:28:19and what I'm going to try and do is replicate the decor there
0:28:19 > 0:28:21in the back of my Beemer.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23- Morning.- Morning.
0:28:23 > 0:28:24Do you have any white cotton?
0:28:24 > 0:28:28Oh, and it's got a cockerel on it.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Yeah, I'll have one of them and the kettle. Thank you.
0:28:39 > 0:28:40- Nails?- Yeah.
0:28:43 > 0:28:44Deal.
0:28:54 > 0:28:55There we go.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57And this is half inch? Perfect.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02That's quite a lot, isn't it? That's more than I expected.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05I didn't think it was this long, I'll be honest.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15Erm...
0:29:15 > 0:29:17HORN BEEPS
0:29:17 > 0:29:19Oh!
0:29:19 > 0:29:20Sorry!
0:29:24 > 0:29:25Yes.
0:29:27 > 0:29:31This kind of size, for me. Small.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Standard size.
0:29:35 > 0:29:375' 7" is enough.
0:29:37 > 0:29:38Well, 5' 7" and a half.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43'With all our materials bought, we set to work.'
0:29:48 > 0:29:49This is epic!
0:29:54 > 0:29:57'And then met up to reveal our creations.'
0:30:00 > 0:30:02Gentlemen, behold the future of exploring.
0:30:02 > 0:30:03I've given this some thought.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05It'll be a mouse cage.
0:30:05 > 0:30:06- No. Look!- Wow!
0:30:06 > 0:30:07Let me talk you through it.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10I'm just going to climb into the sitting area at the back,
0:30:10 > 0:30:12but it's not just a sitting area - note the footwell for the feet.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14- Where the spare wheel was?- Yeah.
0:30:14 > 0:30:15Where's that now?
0:30:15 > 0:30:17It's gone. There's a bin in here.
0:30:17 > 0:30:21But you can't fail to notice the kitchen.
0:30:21 > 0:30:25Burners, gas, taps, running water, cold and cold.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27- Do these work?- Yes, yes.
0:30:27 > 0:30:28So you've got a gas bottle in here?
0:30:28 > 0:30:29Yes.
0:30:29 > 0:30:31OK. No, that's fine.
0:30:31 > 0:30:33And a storage cupboard, full of useful things for me.
0:30:33 > 0:30:37Along here, everything I need for cooking and eating.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39- And where do you sleep?- There.
0:30:39 > 0:30:40There's the bed. You see? Let me get out.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42Leopardskin sheets.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44We are in Africa. Come and have a look, see.
0:30:44 > 0:30:47You can go in by the side entrance.
0:30:47 > 0:30:48Question.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50- Yes?- Our gift.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52Well, there wasn't room for it.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56Actually, that is now my upstairs sitting room.
0:30:56 > 0:30:57Is it?
0:30:57 > 0:31:00Well, let's move on to have a look at May's car, shall we?
0:31:01 > 0:31:04You will see a gentleman explorer's quarters.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06It's got a globe, it's got a telescope, it's got maps,
0:31:06 > 0:31:08it's got music.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10- It's a library, James.- Yeah.
0:31:10 > 0:31:13Things you don't need when you're looking for the source of the Nile.
0:31:13 > 0:31:14Number one, library.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17Well, if you look carefully, you'll see some of the books are about
0:31:17 > 0:31:21exploring, plus there's a selection of English poets to read in bed.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23Do any of the books contain the exact location of the true source
0:31:23 > 0:31:26of the Nile, in which case it's a rather wasted exercise anyway?
0:31:26 > 0:31:27No, but it's inspiration.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29- So there's a library in the front. - Yes.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32And I'm guessing, in the back, some kind of dungeon.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35- Whoa!- That's not a dungeon, is it?
0:31:35 > 0:31:39It's a living quarters combined with a workshop.
0:31:39 > 0:31:41That's... I'm genuinely astonished.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44- Would you like me to run through what's in there?- Not really.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- May I just sneak in, do you mind? - Yes.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48That doesn't look terribly comfortable.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51It's been good enough for the Army for several hundred years.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53And this will just make you itch.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56It's an itchy blanket. It's designed to remind you how lucky you are.
0:31:56 > 0:32:01So you can cook food for us, you can mend mechanical things that go wrong.
0:32:01 > 0:32:02- Keep us going.- What have you done?
0:32:02 > 0:32:04- What have I done?- Yes.
0:32:04 > 0:32:06You might want to come and have a look.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09I should warn you, there are two electronic things on this car.
0:32:09 > 0:32:13The throttle, which is broken, and the electronic boot release,
0:32:13 > 0:32:18which is broken, so I've fitted a manual replacement.
0:32:18 > 0:32:19And there you are.
0:32:19 > 0:32:23What I've done is I've filled it with Egyptian cotton and duck down.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Erm...
0:32:25 > 0:32:27- Is that a coffin?- Yeah.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Who knew a coffin was dual purpose?
0:32:29 > 0:32:31But it is.
0:32:31 > 0:32:35It could be used for bodies, or I've used it as a chest of drawers.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38Washing things, clean clothes, dirty clothes and shoes.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Can I just say, it's all very nice,
0:32:40 > 0:32:43but you haven't considered your colleagues' needs.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47Well, there are two features on this car that you might be interested in.
0:32:47 > 0:32:52In the front, gentlemen, we find here, instead of a passenger seat...
0:32:52 > 0:32:54Oh, so you have thought of sustenance, a fridge.
0:32:54 > 0:32:55That's good, that's good.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57And it runs off the cigarette lighter in the car.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59That's a tradable commodity you've got there.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03It is, but something even more useful than beer.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05No, actually, no.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08Nearly as useful as beer is what I've fitted over here.
0:33:09 > 0:33:10A shower.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13And if we peel back the curtain...
0:33:13 > 0:33:15Oh, it's a complete bathroom in there.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18Oh, yeah. So, you lower this window...
0:33:18 > 0:33:19It lowers it automatically?
0:33:19 > 0:33:21Hang on. Yes, it does, but...
0:33:22 > 0:33:23It's not going.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26There are three electrical components on this car, as it turns out.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29I get it. The window goes down, and that lowers the bog seat,
0:33:29 > 0:33:30- is that right?- Yes, exactly.
0:33:30 > 0:33:34That's quite theatrical. It doesn't work, but it's very...
0:33:34 > 0:33:35Well, the battery's somehow gone flat.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39- I suspect the fridge is drawing quite a lot of power.- Mmm.
0:33:39 > 0:33:41- Can I have a jump? - No.
0:33:47 > 0:33:51'With the BMW re-energised, we set off once more for the lakes.'
0:33:55 > 0:33:57'So, here we are now, Livingstone, Burton and Speke
0:33:57 > 0:34:00'in full explorer mode.'
0:34:02 > 0:34:04James, with those modifications, will have added,
0:34:04 > 0:34:07got to be getting on for a tonne,
0:34:07 > 0:34:09which will have reduced his ground clearance
0:34:09 > 0:34:12from one inch to much less than one inch.
0:34:12 > 0:34:13What an idiot.
0:34:22 > 0:34:23I have made it quite heavy.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26'Still, could be worse.'
0:34:41 > 0:34:44I've uncovered one design feature in here that I don't like.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47The driver?
0:34:47 > 0:34:51No. Every time I brake, my curtain closes.
0:34:51 > 0:34:52Braking.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59'Despite my terrible hardship, we carried on,
0:34:59 > 0:35:01'and soon we turned off the road
0:35:01 > 0:35:03'where the speed humps were frequent...
0:35:06 > 0:35:08'..and onto a road where they were continuous.'
0:35:13 > 0:35:14Oh, God!
0:35:16 > 0:35:19Nice. Washboard gravel. My favourite.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24'Once again, though, the agri-yob was unfazed.'
0:35:27 > 0:35:29More like it.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31Finally, I get to do some Subaru-ing.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36IMITATES CAR ENGINE
0:35:36 > 0:35:37Woo-hoo!
0:35:40 > 0:35:41Ha-ha-ha!
0:35:43 > 0:35:47Because we were now off the beaten track, we started to encounter
0:35:47 > 0:35:50more animals, but sadly, as we saw in Botswana,
0:35:50 > 0:35:55the Top Gear cameramen do struggle when they're not filming cars.
0:35:56 > 0:35:57No, there!
0:36:04 > 0:36:06Did you see that, Hammond? It was a monkey.
0:36:09 > 0:36:11Did you get it?
0:36:11 > 0:36:12Elephant!
0:36:15 > 0:36:17What elephant?
0:36:17 > 0:36:19Elephant on the right-hand side of the road.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23Oh, this is strangely familiar,
0:36:23 > 0:36:26you telling me about animals that you've just seen that I haven't.
0:36:26 > 0:36:27Ha-ha-ha!
0:36:29 > 0:36:30Oh, you evil sod!
0:36:30 > 0:36:32That reminds me of a television programme.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35James, can you think what that television programme was?
0:36:35 > 0:36:36Shut up, shut up!
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Shut up, shut up, shut up!
0:36:39 > 0:36:42Was it Richard Hammond coming to you from a tent in the dark?
0:36:42 > 0:36:43Was it that one?
0:36:43 > 0:36:46Hammond, there was a little man, and he kept saying,
0:36:46 > 0:36:48"I've had an amazing day, I've seen lots of animals,
0:36:48 > 0:36:50"but sadly, this is live and it's dark now."
0:36:50 > 0:36:52Shut up!
0:36:56 > 0:36:58'Eventually, we arrived at Lake Edward.'
0:37:00 > 0:37:03Whoa, that's a beautiful lake.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09'So beautiful, in fact, we decided to stop on its shoreline
0:37:09 > 0:37:11'for a night in our new accommodation.'
0:37:13 > 0:37:16Right, let's pitch the tents. Done.
0:37:16 > 0:37:17Beer? It's already chilled.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20That would be lovely. I'll put dinner on.
0:37:20 > 0:37:21- Oh, God!- What?
0:37:21 > 0:37:23My bed's gone out of alignment.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25- Oh, you've got problems. - There we go.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27- What's your problem? - Nothing.
0:37:27 > 0:37:28No, what's your problem?
0:37:28 > 0:37:31Nothing. I think the chair, the fringe has just slightly...
0:37:31 > 0:37:33- What is your problem? - Oh, dear!
0:37:33 > 0:37:36- Is this every single thing? - I'm just going to tidy up.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38It's Hammond's kitchen nightmare.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04'We sat and watched the sun go down,
0:38:08 > 0:38:11'looking forward to Heston Hammond's delicious dinner.'
0:38:15 > 0:38:17- I'm enjoying the bean course. - Yeah, good.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19- What's next?- Beans.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22- Can you honestly not cook anything other than beans?- No.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26- What's that?- Fly paper.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30Do you still not like insects?
0:38:30 > 0:38:32You know, they've got their place.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34In the world, or something.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Is it in your car?
0:38:36 > 0:38:37No.
0:38:37 > 0:38:38'Then, it was time for bed.'
0:38:42 > 0:38:47Nobody in the history of Africa has ever been more comfortable than this.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49I'm under a layer of duck down and Egyptian cotton,
0:38:49 > 0:38:55I'm watching Kristin Scott Thomas in a film where she's bound to do lesbionics at some point.
0:38:56 > 0:38:57I've had some beans.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Oh, this is just heaven.
0:39:36 > 0:39:37HORN BLOWS
0:39:37 > 0:39:39What's for breakfast?
0:39:39 > 0:39:40Beans.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47'Today, our exploring would begin in earnest,
0:39:47 > 0:39:50'but first, we had to mend Jeremy's car, again.'
0:39:52 > 0:39:55What you need under here is an M8 screw,
0:39:55 > 0:39:59and a home-made little clip made out of tin, which I've got in there.
0:39:59 > 0:40:00Easy.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02'While I was doing this,
0:40:02 > 0:40:05'Jeremy had time to develop one of his theories.'
0:40:05 > 0:40:09Gentlemen, this is a map, OK, of what all these famous explorers
0:40:09 > 0:40:12told the Victorian English was Africa.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14Now, look at the Sahara Desert.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17Which is really tough and difficult, we've been there, it's horrible.
0:40:17 > 0:40:20All done, every nook and cranny explored.
0:40:20 > 0:40:21This is really tough.
0:40:21 > 0:40:22Sudan, impossible.
0:40:22 > 0:40:24- Awful.- All done.
0:40:24 > 0:40:28But, here, in this pleasant garden of Eden where we are now,
0:40:28 > 0:40:30unexplored territories.
0:40:30 > 0:40:31What was holding them up?
0:40:31 > 0:40:32Here?
0:40:32 > 0:40:34Yes.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38It's not mountainous, every tree has got food growing out of it.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40It's a good point, when you think about it.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42There's nothing here that would stop you. Gentle wooded hills.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44- Temperature?- Lovely.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46Yet they kept coming out here and saying,
0:40:46 > 0:40:48"Oh, very difficult, I must go out there for five years.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50"I shall probably be lost."
0:40:50 > 0:40:52- It all stinks a bit, doesn't it? - Yeah.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55So let's just work it out. England, go home.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57"Would you like to go to Mrs Simpson's piano recital
0:40:57 > 0:40:58"this evening?"
0:40:58 > 0:41:02Or they come out here, dusky maidens, lovely temperature,
0:41:02 > 0:41:06very pleasant views, great food, get a tan.
0:41:06 > 0:41:07Write home, tell them it's awful.
0:41:07 > 0:41:09Yes, exactly.
0:41:09 > 0:41:10Send a letter. "Dear Mrs Hammond.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12"It is with a heavy heart that I write to say
0:41:12 > 0:41:14"we have not seen Richard for three years."
0:41:14 > 0:41:17- "He's in the vice-like grip of, what's that name?- Fever?
0:41:17 > 0:41:19"I'll put that in. Malaria, yeah."
0:41:19 > 0:41:22Basically, our conclusion is that Victorian explorers were just
0:41:22 > 0:41:24a bunch of hoorays on a very long gap year.
0:41:24 > 0:41:25- Yes.- Yes.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28- Is that right? - Well-funded gap year here.
0:41:32 > 0:41:35With all that cleared up, we set off to do exploring.
0:41:36 > 0:41:40Our task was to scour the perimeter of Lake Edward to see
0:41:40 > 0:41:45if any of the rivers we crossed were flowing into it from the lake below.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47If it turned out these lakes were joined,
0:41:47 > 0:41:52we would head south to find the true source of the River Nile.
0:41:57 > 0:42:00Follow me. River this way, gentlemen.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07Right, this is actual off-road, and it's starting to rain.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11- Oh,- BLEEP!
0:42:11 > 0:42:12That's more like it.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15Feeling confident about your choices of car now, chaps?
0:42:15 > 0:42:18Are we moving, Hammond, or not?
0:42:18 > 0:42:21Yes. The question is for how long, and James, you've gone very quiet.
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Yeah, yeah.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26This car is just masterful.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29Whoa!
0:42:32 > 0:42:36'James's masterful Volvo was now minus its protective skid plate.'
0:42:36 > 0:42:37Oh, dear.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39Oh, look, it's all under the car.
0:42:41 > 0:42:45"They laboured for six long months to cut off the plastic spoiler."
0:42:45 > 0:42:48You do that, I'll go and write to your loved ones.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51Would you, would you? Make it sound a bit better.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53Put a lion in it, some fever.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55- Build it from there. - Exactly.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03'With the Volvo mostly mended, we got back to exploring,
0:43:03 > 0:43:07'and unlike the Victorian hoorays, we decided not to shilly-shally.'
0:43:08 > 0:43:10This is Top Gear exploring.
0:43:12 > 0:43:13High-speed exploring!
0:43:16 > 0:43:18This is good.
0:43:18 > 0:43:19We will cover some ground.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24'In the racing Volvo, though, life was not so good.'
0:43:26 > 0:43:27Ah!
0:43:29 > 0:43:30This is going to be bad.
0:43:31 > 0:43:32Ah, ah!
0:43:34 > 0:43:36I'm going to have to stop for a minute.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40HE GROANS
0:43:40 > 0:43:42'Our colleague was in considerable pain.'
0:43:46 > 0:43:47'So we left him behind.'
0:43:51 > 0:43:52"Dear Mrs May."
0:43:52 > 0:43:56"James has suffered a terrible back injury wrestling a lion."
0:43:56 > 0:44:00"He will be home, in maybe five years. Please send money."
0:44:03 > 0:44:05River, Hammond, river.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07Oh, hello, exploring to be done!
0:44:08 > 0:44:10'We needed for it to be flowing north.'
0:44:11 > 0:44:13I've got 68 degrees east.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15Yeah.
0:44:15 > 0:44:16It's no good to us.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21Here we go. More exploring.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23Yes, now I've got a siren.
0:44:23 > 0:44:24SIREN BLARES
0:44:31 > 0:44:33It's going that way, east.
0:44:34 > 0:44:35River.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39That's the angle I want you to tell me.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41East. It's no good.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45'When Captain Backache caught up...'
0:44:45 > 0:44:47Whoa!
0:44:47 > 0:44:51'We still hadn't found a river flowing in the right direction.'
0:44:53 > 0:44:56I think this is our final bridge. I think it's the last river.
0:45:00 > 0:45:05- We don't need to throw a stick in that to see which way it is flowing, do we?- Not really.
0:45:05 > 0:45:06It is going that way.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11- Sort of southeast.- Southeast?- Yeah.
0:45:17 > 0:45:21'Our theory about the two lakes being connected was in tatters.
0:45:23 > 0:45:26'Our expedition seemed to be at an end.
0:45:27 > 0:45:31'So that night in camp, the mood was despondent.
0:45:34 > 0:45:39'But then, while poring over the maps, I noticed something.'
0:45:39 > 0:45:41Wait a minute, wait a minute...
0:45:43 > 0:45:47- Hammond! May!- What?- Come here, come here, come here.
0:45:53 > 0:45:56- You see it says here, "source du Nile"?- Yes.- Source of the Nile.
0:45:56 > 0:45:59That is Joanna Lumley's, and that is the furthest the water has to
0:45:59 > 0:46:03- fall down a very wiggly river yes?- Yes.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05This one is in Burundi,
0:46:05 > 0:46:08this is the furthest the crow flies from the exit of the Nile.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10- OK?- Yes.- Yes.
0:46:10 > 0:46:14- I believe they are both wrong. - Right.
0:46:14 > 0:46:17Where is the exit of the Nile?
0:46:17 > 0:46:21- Alexandria, which you can see on this.- There.
0:46:21 > 0:46:24So their rivers flow through Lake Victoria
0:46:24 > 0:46:28and then go there to another sea, inland sea, effectively.
0:46:28 > 0:46:30The Mediterranean isn't even tidal, just like Lake Victoria.
0:46:30 > 0:46:34The actual exit of the Nile is Gibraltar,
0:46:34 > 0:46:38because that is where it goes into the ocean. The ocean is here.
0:46:38 > 0:46:42Their sources are both to the west of Lake Victoria.
0:46:42 > 0:46:44I see what you mean.
0:46:44 > 0:46:48We are looking for a river on the east side of Lake Victoria.
0:46:48 > 0:46:50- Do you see what I mean? - Because it is further...
0:46:50 > 0:46:52It is further from Gibraltar.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55And I have found it.
0:46:55 > 0:47:02Gentleman, the actual source of the Nile is around there.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Southeast of Lake Victoria.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08That is as far from Gibraltar as you can get. You follow a river
0:47:08 > 0:47:11called the Grumeti, or it's a tributary of the Grumeti,
0:47:11 > 0:47:13which I have traced back.
0:47:13 > 0:47:17I can't work out exactly where it is but it is about here.
0:47:17 > 0:47:21That is the furthest as the crow flies and it is the furthest the water flows.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24That is extremely good.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27We are here, we have to get from where
0:47:27 > 0:47:30we are on completely the wrong side of Lake Victoria to the other side,
0:47:30 > 0:47:33that is going through Rwanda, Tanzania, to there.
0:47:33 > 0:47:37- It is such a long way. - It is a long way.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39It's worth it though, isn't it?
0:47:48 > 0:47:49'The next morning,
0:47:49 > 0:47:53'the Top Gear crew prepared for the long journey that lay ahead.
0:47:55 > 0:47:59- 'Hammond, meanwhile, cooked breakfast.'- Oh, careless.
0:48:00 > 0:48:04'And I fitted a new skid plate to protect the underside of my Volvo.'
0:48:06 > 0:48:11'Nobody is allowed to use my car as a lavatory any more.'
0:48:22 > 0:48:23THUMPING
0:48:23 > 0:48:26You can hear my improvised guard working there,
0:48:26 > 0:48:29protecting my vital intercooler from mud and sharp points.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32To be honest it is a bit of an improvisation,
0:48:32 > 0:48:34it's not the thickest steel there is.
0:48:34 > 0:48:37You have to work with what you've got out in the bush.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48I had a cold shower this morning, my penis was like a press stud.
0:48:50 > 0:48:51Again.
0:48:57 > 0:49:05Out into the wilderness, in my little mobile house. Hello, chaps.
0:49:05 > 0:49:09- Are you both stuck? - 'Are you stuck, James?'
0:49:09 > 0:49:13'I have gone into a bit of a soft bit, are you stuck?'
0:49:13 > 0:49:15I tell you what, let's find out.
0:49:20 > 0:49:23- Oh, come on!- Ha-ha-ha!
0:49:23 > 0:49:26I've improved the style of the Subaru no end!
0:49:26 > 0:49:30- I'm free as well.- Ha-ha-ha!
0:49:30 > 0:49:33- Thank you, guys, that was a trap, wasn't it?- A bit, yes.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36You evil sods.
0:49:39 > 0:49:43We pointed our cars at the border with Rwanda and set off on
0:49:43 > 0:49:49a 600-mile journey to what we now knew was the true source of the Nile.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59I wonder if we are heading towards that massive rain cloud.
0:50:00 > 0:50:02Yes, we are, aren't we?
0:50:13 > 0:50:15MUSIC: "Africa" by Toto
0:50:28 > 0:50:33As the miles rolled by, we started to climb into the mountains.
0:50:42 > 0:50:46Oh, wow, this is very, very pretty, here.
0:50:47 > 0:50:51'But, we couldn't really admire the view, because the road was starting
0:50:51 > 0:50:56'to be a bit of a test for two of the 1,500 quid second-hand cars.'
0:50:58 > 0:51:00My bash plate is earning its keep today.
0:51:02 > 0:51:04Oh, cock.
0:51:07 > 0:51:12Oh. We are both in the same boat here, James and I.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15It is called the HMS Careful.
0:51:19 > 0:51:21Meanwhile, far ahead,
0:51:21 > 0:51:23my four-wheel-drive Subaru was scampering along.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27Come on, come on!
0:51:30 > 0:51:32I am king of the forest.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35Bloody hell, look at this one.
0:51:48 > 0:51:51Come on, beemer! Come on!
0:51:52 > 0:51:54How is it doing this?
0:51:59 > 0:52:00Ooh...
0:52:04 > 0:52:06Absolutely no chance.
0:52:08 > 0:52:13'Annoyingly, I had to ask the agri-yob to come back and help.'
0:52:13 > 0:52:17What is the expression about pig in... It's Hammond in mud?
0:52:17 > 0:52:22- Yeah, it'll pull out. - Give him a tug.- I'm going to.
0:52:25 > 0:52:29- Did it hit you?- Yes, it did - What was that?
0:52:29 > 0:52:32It was a huge chunk of tree just bounced off...
0:52:32 > 0:52:37- And smashed my windscreen.- Has it? - Yeah.- We probably should get a move on. I will back it up.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40- James, get your tow rope out. - Go, go, go.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44'As I pulled James free...'
0:52:44 > 0:52:47Yes! Bloody brilliant, Hammond.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50'..some locals arrived and Jeremy decided
0:52:50 > 0:52:54'to give them a quick lecture on his theories of off-road driving.'
0:52:54 > 0:52:59Now, I believe in speed. Power.
0:52:59 > 0:53:03Power and speed solves many things.
0:53:04 > 0:53:08- Right...- James, how far? - Middle of the puddle.
0:53:08 > 0:53:11(THROUGH MEGAPHONE) Speed and power!
0:53:19 > 0:53:21LAUGHTER
0:53:22 > 0:53:27- Go faster!- Speed and power doesn't work. It was doing quite well.
0:53:27 > 0:53:30To be honest, I was surprised you got that far.
0:53:31 > 0:53:37- Do you think you could push it out? - Yeah.- Yes? OK.
0:53:37 > 0:53:41Which way...? Oh, I've got to get out of the way. These guys are immensely strong.
0:53:52 > 0:53:54- Drive back, drive back.- OK.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02Good going!
0:54:04 > 0:54:05There you go.
0:54:07 > 0:54:11'Having freed Jeremy, the men started to build him a new road.'
0:54:15 > 0:54:18I wouldn't do that bare feet, I can't watch.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22I am assuming he has never got it wrong
0:54:22 > 0:54:24because he still has an entire right foot.
0:54:30 > 0:54:36- OK.- Three, two, one!
0:54:46 > 0:54:48APPLAUSE
0:54:48 > 0:54:52- Yes! Well done, that was amazing.- Well done.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54Thank you, guys, that is amazing.
0:54:54 > 0:54:56'With my dues paid...'
0:54:56 > 0:54:58Thank you, thank you.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00'..we were back on our way.'
0:55:01 > 0:55:04It is amazing, those guys actually turned out to be Ugandan army.
0:55:06 > 0:55:09Up here training. God, they are strong.
0:55:10 > 0:55:13'We hoped that that would be the last of the mud,
0:55:13 > 0:55:16'but as the day went on it got even worse.'
0:55:18 > 0:55:22Oh, no, I have no steering. No, no, no!
0:55:23 > 0:55:26Go! Thank you.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29It is beached.
0:55:32 > 0:55:33Bloody hell.
0:55:35 > 0:55:37- Thank you.- Hit it.
0:55:45 > 0:55:46Oh, cock.
0:55:48 > 0:55:52We are just going to blow the clutches to pieces. Going to have to pull it out.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Go on, go on, go on, you son of a... Ha-ha-ha!
0:56:01 > 0:56:06SCREAMING
0:56:06 > 0:56:08That was so damn close.
0:56:08 > 0:56:14'And then, to add to the misery, I discovered there had been treachery.'
0:56:14 > 0:56:19- How long has that been there? - Good grief! You must have...
0:56:19 > 0:56:24Hammond, I know what your panto face is. Hammond, where is that?
0:56:24 > 0:56:27What are those really big things? They could rip steel.
0:56:27 > 0:56:29I know exactly where it is.
0:56:29 > 0:56:33- I have no idea and you will never get it out of me.- May!
0:56:33 > 0:56:36Is that thing on the front of your car made out of my door?
0:56:36 > 0:56:37(Yes, it is.)
0:56:39 > 0:56:41- Is that my door?- What?
0:56:41 > 0:56:45It is from my door, I know it is from my door.
0:56:45 > 0:56:49You're not using that bit and it was more useful on my car.
0:56:49 > 0:56:54- You didn't even notice.- That's it, that's it.- Can you give me a tow?- No!
0:57:01 > 0:57:05As evening drew in, conditions started to improve.
0:57:08 > 0:57:14This is all feeling a bit Gorillas In The Mist. It's a bit mystical.
0:57:14 > 0:57:15It is kinda wonderful.
0:57:17 > 0:57:21'Thanks to my door, the Volvo had survived the ordeal.
0:57:21 > 0:57:24'But in the BMW, my throttle problem was even worse
0:57:24 > 0:57:27'and my handbrake had broken.'
0:57:27 > 0:57:30Hammond, keep moving, I can't stop, I can't do hill starts any more. Keep going.
0:57:32 > 0:57:36This has to be one of the toughest days we have ever had on Top Gear.
0:57:37 > 0:57:41There hasn't been a single moment when one of us wasn't stuck.
0:57:42 > 0:57:45No car is built to survive conditions like this. None.
0:57:45 > 0:57:47Not one.
0:57:47 > 0:57:51'And there were still more than 500 miles to go.'
0:57:57 > 0:58:00Hammond is hot on my tail in the quest for the source of the Nile.
0:58:00 > 0:58:03And now Rwanda.
0:58:05 > 0:58:08- Oh, my God. - That might have killed the car.
0:58:08 > 0:58:11There she goes. Oh, yes!
0:58:11 > 0:58:14Gently, gently. We are going in. Stop!
0:58:17 > 0:58:1930 seconds.
0:58:19 > 0:58:20Oh!
0:58:22 > 0:58:23I'm through.
0:58:24 > 0:58:27- BLEEP- Hammond is not having this.
0:58:37 > 0:58:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd