0:00:02 > 0:00:06It's goat bone? I don't want that.
0:00:06 > 0:00:09And it's got a cockerel on it.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Yeah, I'll have one of them and the kettle.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13- Oh, God!- What?
0:00:13 > 0:00:15My bed's gone out of alignment.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21'Our adventure began in Uganda where,
0:00:21 > 0:00:23'armed with three £1,500 estate cars,
0:00:23 > 0:00:27'we were given a spectacular challenge.'
0:00:27 > 0:00:30You will find the source of the River Nile.
0:00:33 > 0:00:38'To make life easier, we converted our cars into mobile homes.'
0:00:38 > 0:00:39Whoa!
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- What's that?- Living quarters combined with a workshop.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Nobody in the history of Africa
0:00:48 > 0:00:52has ever been more comfortable than this.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56'Having failed to find the source of the Nile in western Uganda...'
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Southeast?- Yeah. It's no good.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04'..we decided the actual source was in northern Tanzania.'
0:01:04 > 0:01:10- That means going through Rwanda, Tanzania to there.- Such a long way!
0:01:10 > 0:01:11- It is a long way.- Right.
0:01:11 > 0:01:17'And so, a 600-mile journey began, a journey that has already
0:01:17 > 0:01:21'taken us through the toughest terrain imaginable.'
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Argh! Aaarrrrghhh!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Whoa!
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Come on! Come on!
0:01:28 > 0:01:31AAAAARRRRRGHHHH!
0:01:31 > 0:01:36'And, on top of all this, it turned out I was travelling with a thief.'
0:01:36 > 0:01:39- How long's that been there? - Good grief!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Is that my door?!
0:01:41 > 0:01:45Well, you're not using that bit. You didn't even notice.
0:01:45 > 0:01:46That's it! That's it!
0:02:19 > 0:02:23'As dawn broke, the peace and serenity of this beautiful
0:02:23 > 0:02:28'Ugandan morning was shattered by the bellow of a wild animal.'
0:02:29 > 0:02:31CLARKSON!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Last night, while Hammond and May were round the campfire
0:02:40 > 0:02:45discussing Uganda, I made an interesting modification to my car.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Yesterday, I discovered hill starts were very difficult.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52I can't ride the clutch because of the throttle problem and I can't use
0:02:52 > 0:02:54the handbrake because it's broken,
0:02:54 > 0:02:57so what I've done is fitted this log at the back.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00You tow it along normally, but then when you want to start on a hill,
0:03:00 > 0:03:02you let the car roll back onto it,
0:03:02 > 0:03:05use it as a wedge and set off easily.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08It's simple, it's elegant, it's brilliant.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19'As we set off on our long drive, the mood was a little fractious.'
0:03:21 > 0:03:25If I know James May at all, and I'm sorry to have to say I do,
0:03:25 > 0:03:29he won't be so cross about the theft of part of his bonnet as
0:03:29 > 0:03:33he will be about the shoddiness of the execution of the theft.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37It's not a neat job. That will rankle.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Look at it!
0:03:38 > 0:03:40I mean, that looks like it was done
0:03:40 > 0:03:42with a knife and fork by the council.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46It's not square, it's not neat, he's wasted material,
0:03:46 > 0:03:49he's left sharp edges, it's all bent.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52I cannot conceive of the mind of a man who would look at that
0:03:52 > 0:03:55and think that was the right way to do it.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59'I don't mind you taking a bit of my bonnet, that's fair.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01'I do mind you doing such an appalling bloody job of it,
0:04:01 > 0:04:03'you ham-fisted oaf!'
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Honestly, I could do a better job than that
0:04:05 > 0:04:06with the end of a bulldozer!
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Well, I...I couldn't find any tools.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12'The back of the car is full of bloody tools!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15'The biggest tool in this operation was you!'
0:04:15 > 0:04:18A pair of tin snips looks like a pair of robust scissors
0:04:18 > 0:04:23and their function is obvious. They are obviously not a hammer!
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- This could go on. - 'Obviously not a screwdriver!
0:04:26 > 0:04:30'They are obviously not a spanner! They are obviously designed...'
0:04:30 > 0:04:32- HE TURNS VOLUME DOWN - There we go, that's got rid of him.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38'Soon we came to an uphill stretch,
0:04:38 > 0:04:40'so I decided to test my new handbrake.'
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Simply pop it off the back, roll it out.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50Watch this.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53Roll back.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04The wooden handbrake is holding me, I simply set off.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Here we go.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Oh, yes! So there we are,
0:05:14 > 0:05:18hill starting solved! Sometimes my genius is...
0:05:19 > 0:05:21It's almost frightening!
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Well, fair dos, that works.
0:05:25 > 0:05:31- You do have to tow a log about, but it works.- I am a happy man today.
0:05:33 > 0:05:39- Chaps?- Yes?- Are we likely to see a gorilla?- I hope we do see a gorilla.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40I'd show them my bonnet and say,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42"Could you do a better job than that?"
0:05:42 > 0:05:46But look on the bright side, James, it's going to be a scorcher today.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48SMASH!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Oh, my God!
0:06:04 > 0:06:09- RICHARD AND JAMES LAUGH - Oh! Did that..?- Oh, dear!
0:06:09 > 0:06:13The handbrake bounced up and has broken my hotel viewing platform.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16You've got glass in your duvet!
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Stupidest idea in history!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Jeremy, people walk around here barefoot.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- You've got to sweep all this stuff. - We have.
0:06:24 > 0:06:29But look - God gave us a tool for just such a moment as this.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33Would you not agree this is the ideal tool, James, for this job?
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Yes, hammers do have their uses. I can think of one right now.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39'After cleaning up my mess,
0:06:39 > 0:06:44'we carried on through yet more breathtaking countryside.'
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Look at the state of that view. Wait a minute.
0:06:59 > 0:07:04Does the world get any prettier than this?
0:07:13 > 0:07:17'In fact the only blot on the landscape was our hideous
0:07:17 > 0:07:19'Ford Scorpio back-up car.'
0:07:21 > 0:07:26I've just realised I forgot to eat anything this morning. I'm starving.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31- Well, Hammond made me a lovely plate of beans.- Beans? What sort of beans?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Do you know, they were baked?!
0:07:35 > 0:07:40'Soon, the dirt track gave way to some perfect Chinese-built roads,
0:07:40 > 0:07:44'a blessed relief for our battered cars.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54'And after a simple 50-mile cruise,
0:07:54 > 0:07:56'we reached the border.'
0:08:00 > 0:08:07Goodbye, Uganda, and thank you. That was an education. And now, Rwanda.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08I don't know anything about Rwanda.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13'As it turned out, James knew even less.'
0:08:16 > 0:08:22- James?- What?- Apparently they drive on the other side of the road in Rwanda.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27- Do they really(?)- James, really, we're not fooling you!- Yeah, yeah.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31BEEP!
0:08:39 > 0:08:43'Mercifully, there was more Chinese tarmac, so we were able to surge
0:08:43 > 0:08:46'through a country where, actually, none of us
0:08:46 > 0:08:48'had really known what to expect.'
0:08:51 > 0:08:54In 1994, this country witnessed
0:08:54 > 0:08:57the worst genocide in the history of humankind.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02A million people died in around about three months.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07A million people in three months! With machetes and garden tools.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12And that was only 18 years ago, and now look.
0:09:12 > 0:09:17It's incredible how quickly things, on the surface at least...
0:09:18 > 0:09:19..mend themselves.
0:09:23 > 0:09:28- CHILDREN SHOUT:- Hello! - Hello! Hello, hello!
0:09:28 > 0:09:30It's constant.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32All the roads, even out here in the sticks,
0:09:32 > 0:09:35are just absolutely three-deep in people,
0:09:35 > 0:09:38and they all wave when you go by and you have to wave back.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42- Hello! Hello!- Hello, hello. Hello. Hello.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- Hello!- Hello.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55'After many more miles of waving, smooth tarmac
0:09:55 > 0:09:56'and stunning scenery...
0:09:59 > 0:10:04'..we arrived on the other side of Rwanda at its border with Tanzania.'
0:10:07 > 0:10:10That was a long drive, but we've done it - all of Rwanda.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Now for an interminably long wait.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18'The paperwork did indeed take an age,
0:10:18 > 0:10:22'but, happily, Jeremy and I found a way to pass the time.'
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Funny(!) Ha-ha-ha(!)
0:10:28 > 0:10:31'And then, finally, we crossed over into Tanzania.'
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Shall we make camp here, gentlemen?
0:10:35 > 0:10:39It's been a long drive with a long border crossing of 900 hours.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52'Despite the calm stillness of the evening,
0:10:52 > 0:10:56'James plainly still had a bee in his bonnet about his bonnet.'
0:10:58 > 0:11:03This evening I am going to need...these.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05And I'm going to need these
0:11:05 > 0:11:07and this.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11And I'm going to need these tin snips,
0:11:11 > 0:11:16which are like scissors but much stronger. I'm going to need those.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19I'm going to need all these things for this evening.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Right, I'm up to 18 million pieces of glass.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Look in another fold, there you go - 18 million and two, three...
0:11:27 > 0:11:32Why do they call this stuff safety glass? I mean, it isn't!
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Why can't it just break into four pieces?
0:11:34 > 0:11:38Why does it have to break into 19 million pieces?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40And it goes everywhere!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42You could be in bed and it's outside your house
0:11:42 > 0:11:45and it goes in your pyjamas!
0:11:45 > 0:11:4718 million and ten.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52No.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55No.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02No.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Yes.
0:12:09 > 0:12:10No.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Good morning, viewers.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I'm afraid things may have got a little out of hand in camp
0:12:50 > 0:12:52last night, but it's good news!
0:12:52 > 0:12:57I found another piece of scrap metal and I managed to mend my bonnet!
0:13:00 > 0:13:06I'll admit, I was FURIOUS when James stole my bonnet scoop, but then
0:13:06 > 0:13:10on Jeremy's car, I found something that does the job just as well.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13I'm calling it the poop scoop.
0:13:14 > 0:13:20I was a bit cross about losing my lavatory, but then, staggeringly,
0:13:20 > 0:13:24in the middle of a remote field in Tanzania, I found
0:13:24 > 0:13:27a rear window that fitted into the back of my car!
0:13:27 > 0:13:31I mean, it looks like it's meant to be here!
0:13:31 > 0:13:33It's uncanny!
0:13:35 > 0:13:39'Unfortunately, the modifications to Hammond's now half-timbered Subaru
0:13:39 > 0:13:43'seem to have impaired his visibility.'
0:13:43 > 0:13:46CRASH! Oh!
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Oh, no!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Bad!
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Anyway, we've woken up, slightly thick heads.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55We're all mates again,
0:13:55 > 0:13:59which is just as well, because we've got an extremely long day...
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Oh.
0:14:08 > 0:14:15- That is a river.- Yes, it is.- Well, there must be a bridge somewhere.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- Why MUST there be a bridge?- Well, there must be!- Well, there isn't!
0:14:17 > 0:14:21- Look!- Well, there isn't one THERE, but there'll be a bridge.
0:14:21 > 0:14:26- I know what. It's time to deploy the ARU.- What?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29The ARU - Aerial Reconnaissance Unit.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- I knew this sort of thing would happen.- Where did that come from?
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I've been working on it for the last couple of weeks at home
0:14:35 > 0:14:39- for just such an eventuality. - Have you?- Have you really?
0:14:39 > 0:14:44- Did you build it?- Yeah.- Really?- Well, you've got a helicopter licence.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45- You fly it.- Right.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47I operate the camera underneath
0:14:47 > 0:14:51that swivels about and you tell us what it's seeing, James.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Right, are we ready? - Yes, I've got a picture.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- Hammond?- Yes...- Begin!
0:15:04 > 0:15:07- Yes! There she goes! - There you go.- That's good.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Right, that height is good. Now head that way, down the river.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Point it down. You're not pointing it at the river. Point it down.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Well, you'll need to point it down.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- No, you fly level, you point the camera down.- Yeah.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- Got it.- River turns left... That's good.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26- There's no bridge, though. - Keep going.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Pivot right a bit.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Swivel left, camera.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- Oh, hang on a minute.- What?
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- There's like a big weir thing. - It's not a weir, James!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44That's the biggest waterfall I've ever seen!
0:15:44 > 0:15:47- Right, that's relevant(!) - Right, good.- No bridge.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52'And it was the same story when we looked upstream.'
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Bring it back, Hammond.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59'With the ARU back at base...
0:16:01 > 0:16:04'..we had to work out how we could cross this river
0:16:04 > 0:16:09'that was full of killer waterfalls, bilharzia and many teeth.'
0:16:14 > 0:16:20- Why don't we build...a car ferry? - What, with like a bar and everything?
0:16:20 > 0:16:22No, no! Like that thing we saw in Albania!
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- Like a raft?- Why don't WE build one?
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Look, I used to build them when I was a kid! I fell in a lot, but...
0:16:28 > 0:16:34- Wood... What else do you need? Rope.- Oil drums.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37You need to lash the rope together. Maybe some nails and a hammer.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Probably a hammer, yeah. Oil drums, oil drums underneath.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42This sounds like the worst management course ever!
0:16:42 > 0:16:46You know those Outward Bound courses where you've got a chicken and...
0:16:46 > 0:16:49OK, then. Thanks to Hammond, it's back to the studio.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50All we need is a platform
0:16:50 > 0:16:52big enough to take a car that will take its weight and floats.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Then we pull it across on ropes like the Albanian one.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57We drove through a village, did we not,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59about...just behind those banana trees?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Yes, but do you think they sell rafts for cars?
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- They might sell car ferries.- No, but they've always got...
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Don't want a banana, don't want a headscarf, I'd like a car ferry.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11- "Oh, we've got one in the back, sir." - Look, I'm going to divide this up.
0:17:11 > 0:17:16I'm going to find some rope. You go and find some oil drums. You go...
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- I'll get some wood.- And some wood.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23MUSIC: AFRICAN-SOUNDING VERSION OF THEME FROM THE ATEAM
0:17:25 > 0:17:29- Right, off you go. Have you got the hammer and stake?- Yeah.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Oh!
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Your rope's come off!
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- You're getting nearer, James! - I'm not!
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Oh.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Would you say you were nearer, James?- No.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03'With HMS Wobbly in the water,
0:18:03 > 0:18:07'Hammond and May decided that my car should go first.'
0:18:12 > 0:18:17Good. A tiny, tiny bit left. Straight, that's good.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Hold on.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- You need to go... Oh,- BLEEP. - It's close. Tiny bit right.
0:18:24 > 0:18:29- OK, your back wheels are on. - I am now boarding our ferry.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34- That's good.- 'As I inched forwards, a hungry audience gathered.'
0:18:37 > 0:18:39You'll feel when you're on cos you'll hit the chock.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- Two and a half feet.- Feet?!- Yeah.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Good, a bit more. You're just about to... There you go, you're on!
0:18:50 > 0:18:51Put it in gear and turn off.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56These have got to come with us for the other side.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01'With the ramps on board, we set off.'
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07- What did you just do?- Cast off.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11- Are we now underway?- Yes. Pull on the rope.- I am.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I'm Geoff Capes!
0:19:13 > 0:19:17I am pulling a BMW 528i Touring across a crocodile-infested river!
0:19:17 > 0:19:21And the impressive thing is, you're not making a fuss about it either.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23No, I'm not showing off, but I am...
0:19:23 > 0:19:24James, wait! James, James, James!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26What? It doesn't make any difference.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Stay at the back! James, please stay at the back!
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Stop being such an old woman - it doesn't make any difference!
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Oh, really? So that barrel's just come back above the water again...
0:19:34 > 0:19:37But it's not going to go all the way down, is it?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39(I feel like an explorer now.)
0:19:40 > 0:19:44- Right...- So if I get on the bank and James throws me a yellow rope...
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Good idea. - Can you get on the bank from there?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- These logs get really slippery!- Yes. - Right, you're on the bank...
0:19:51 > 0:19:52Good catch(!)
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- The throw wasn't brilliant. - I'll go to the back. Whey!
0:19:57 > 0:19:58Well...
0:20:00 > 0:20:03People are now turning over to watch Red Or Black? or something.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06I'm sorry we made it.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Nobody was expecting that.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Got it?
0:20:08 > 0:20:12'Mind you, there was still the small matter of disembarking.'
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Uh...
0:20:16 > 0:20:17..not convinced.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Yes!
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Well, you're NEARLY ashore.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Aren't I ashore?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Not entirely ashore, no.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Yes, I'm ashore.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32- Is that wheel ashore?- Yes.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35'We weren't convinced,
0:20:35 > 0:20:37'so we gave him a helping hand.'
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Here we go!
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Yes!
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Feeling good.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Oh, yes, oh, yes!
0:20:44 > 0:20:46God, I'm a good driver.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47(Oh, God.)
0:20:51 > 0:20:53'Back on the other bank,
0:20:53 > 0:20:55'it was Hammond's turn, and for some reason,
0:20:55 > 0:20:58'he decided to make life difficult for himself.'
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Why are you BACKING on?
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- Because it is quite difficult getting off at the other side, yeah?- Yeah.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07And your BMW is now there so it could tow me off.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09The only towing eye is at the back.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11It does mean I'll have to reverse on.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Hold on, hold on! Does that look right from there?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17What...?
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Oh!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- Oh!- Stop! Stop! You're turning the wheel.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- I did NOT turn the wheel. - You turned it minutely.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31I might have leant on it.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Oh!
0:21:33 > 0:21:36You're miles off the end. A little more.
0:21:36 > 0:21:37And...stop.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Oh! I am SO onboard!
0:21:39 > 0:21:42James, you can pull this time, you'll see how easy it is(!)
0:21:42 > 0:21:45I shall be ballast, there. That's the ticket!
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Not all at the same time. You can't come on this side.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I can't go on the other side.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Look at the angle. - Gentlemen...- Climb through the car.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56..It is impossible to stand there
0:21:56 > 0:21:59because there are two ramps piled on top of one another.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Hammond, get in your sitting room!
0:22:00 > 0:22:02- I can't. - Get in your sitting room!- No!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04You need to be on the other side.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Climb over the bloody car.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10- You've got heavier...- Oh!
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- That was tied on!- No, I took the rope off.- We needed the rope.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16I took it off.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19I CAN go on the other side...
0:22:19 > 0:22:20as it turns out.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Perfect. Let's go. Forget the chair.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Are we there yet(?)
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Somebody's had me chair!
0:22:30 > 0:22:31That man's got your chair!
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Good for him. Enjoy it!
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Ooh, ah!
0:22:36 > 0:22:39'On the other side, I was determined to make a better job of disembarking
0:22:39 > 0:22:41'than Jeremy had.'
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- Power.- Hoo!
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Some of you's onboard.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48Whoa, we got a problem.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54That's all completely hopeless and you've sunk the raft
0:22:54 > 0:22:56and your catflap's terrible.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59GO!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01'I then pulled Hammond off...'
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Ya-hey!
0:23:03 > 0:23:05'..And that gave me an idea.'
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Why don't we use this to pull the ferry across
0:23:09 > 0:23:10with the Volvo on it?
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Why would we not do that?
0:23:16 > 0:23:21'Rather sceptically, Hammond and I went back to get my Volvo.'
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Crack on.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Our father, who art in heaven,
0:23:26 > 0:23:29if you're there, make it go upside down, please.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35Steady! Wooh!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37- Ooh!- (That looked a bit perilous.)
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- Shall I come back?- Just a tiny bit.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- Wah-duh...!- Stop making squeaking noises.
0:23:43 > 0:23:48The thing is, the BMW has a 50-50 weight distribution.
0:23:48 > 0:23:5050% over the front axle, 50% over the back,
0:23:50 > 0:23:53which is why the raft was level.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54With James' car,
0:23:54 > 0:23:5870% of the weight is over the front axle.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00That's why the whole thing is tipping down.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02- Are we attached?- Yes.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Jeremy, we have begun!
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Right, so I pull you across the river.
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Yeah, gently.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Very, very slowly indeed!
0:24:13 > 0:24:16If it goes under, it'll probably go nose-in, won't it?
0:24:16 > 0:24:20- Yeah, I'll stand at the back. - Are you ready?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22He's going already, hang on.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25This is Captain Hammond ringing down to the engine room.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28You have the slacks. That's plenty fast enough!
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Yes, gently.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Seriously, Jeremy. We are going under.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37That's too fast, too fast!
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Oh, yes!
0:24:39 > 0:24:40Oh, yes!
0:24:42 > 0:24:43Gently, gently - seriously!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45We're going in.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46STOP!
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Jeremy, absolutely stop or you'll have deaths on your hands.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I've been shouted at so much.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Need a zesty drink.
0:25:02 > 0:25:08'Eventually, our third and final car was ready to go ashore.'
0:25:08 > 0:25:11- Forward.- Oh, my Gawd!
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Well, credit where it's due.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Come on!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22You have to admit that is quite a finish, with a flourish!
0:25:25 > 0:25:29'It had been a fraught undertaking, but the fact was that,
0:25:29 > 0:25:31'against the odds,
0:25:31 > 0:25:35'all three of our cars were on the other side of the river.'
0:25:35 > 0:25:38That's the first time, I think, in ten years,
0:25:38 > 0:25:39we've ever done anything
0:25:39 > 0:25:41ambitious and successful.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43I think you're right. And doesn't it feel good?
0:25:43 > 0:25:45It feels weird, frankly.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Normally there's one of us in the water, in the jaws of a lion,
0:25:48 > 0:25:50going, "Oh, he's dead!"
0:25:50 > 0:25:51It was genuinely peculiar.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Oh, my God!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Oh!
0:25:55 > 0:25:57THEY LAUGH
0:25:57 > 0:26:00It's gone! It's completely gone!
0:26:00 > 0:26:01It's completely sunk!
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Well done(!)
0:26:03 > 0:26:05You can see how difficult OUR job is.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08That's how deep it was!
0:26:08 > 0:26:10That could have happened to us.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12- It could have done... - BOTH: but it didn't!
0:26:12 > 0:26:14BOTH: Onwards.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17'Leaving the producers to clear up their mess,
0:26:17 > 0:26:18'we set off.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25'And soon discovered that Tanzania's roads were not
0:26:25 > 0:26:26'built by the Chinese.'
0:26:28 > 0:26:32Pothole, pothole, pothole, pothole. BIG one.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35It is like driving through a minefield.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39If you take your eye off the road for a second,
0:26:39 > 0:26:42you are into one and they are massive.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47I don't know how James will cope with this,
0:26:47 > 0:26:50because you can only concentrate on one thing at a time
0:26:50 > 0:26:55and when he's driving that is normally an obscure poet.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58"Oh, yes, Philip Larkin's done some very good...oh, no,
0:26:58 > 0:27:00"I've hit a pothole."
0:27:00 > 0:27:02'Soon James hit a pothole...'
0:27:02 > 0:27:04THUMP
0:27:04 > 0:27:06No!
0:27:06 > 0:27:10'..So hard, it took out two of his tyres.'
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Erm...d'you remember...
0:27:13 > 0:27:15it seems like months ago,
0:27:15 > 0:27:18but at the beginning of this voyage, we looked at these tyres and said,
0:27:18 > 0:27:20"There's no way those tyres'll survive Africa?"
0:27:20 > 0:27:23The signs are not good, are they?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- In that they're not.- It's goodbye.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28- You just wait here for the backup car.- You know the code.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Oh, no, the backup car's
0:27:29 > 0:27:32at the bottom of a crocodile-infested river.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34I don't need the backup car, I have spare wheels.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36You're not very helpful or useful to me. I'll see you later.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- See you, James. Bye.- Bye!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42'Once the Annoying Brothers had left,
0:27:42 > 0:27:46'I discovered it was rather more than just tyre damage.'
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Ho-ho-ho!
0:27:49 > 0:27:52'Both wheels had shattered!
0:27:56 > 0:27:59'Having raided the support truck for more,
0:27:59 > 0:28:01'I set off and caught up with the others
0:28:01 > 0:28:03'in a swarm of lake flies.'
0:28:06 > 0:28:08FLIES BUZZING
0:28:11 > 0:28:15'This told us we were getting close to Lake Victoria.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18'At 150 miles across,
0:28:18 > 0:28:21it was too wide for us to even think about building a homemade ferry.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25'So we decided to use one someone else had made earlier.'
0:28:28 > 0:28:31Have you ever seen more flies than that
0:28:31 > 0:28:33in one place ever?
0:28:33 > 0:28:34Oh, oh, oh!
0:28:36 > 0:28:39I'll give you a million pounds if you go
0:28:39 > 0:28:41and stand there naked for an hour.
0:28:44 > 0:28:48PIANO PLAYS CLAIR DE LUNE
0:29:20 > 0:29:22'The voyage across Lake Victoria took more than
0:29:22 > 0:29:26'16 hours, but there was good news on the other side.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29'The ferry would drop us close to the River Grumeti,
0:29:29 > 0:29:31'the river that WE believed would take us
0:29:31 > 0:29:34'to the source of the Nile.'
0:29:36 > 0:29:39BELL RINGS
0:29:39 > 0:29:41We're going to find the mouth of the river,
0:29:41 > 0:29:44track that back to its source,
0:29:44 > 0:29:46and we've done it.
0:29:50 > 0:29:5130 seconds...
0:29:58 > 0:30:01'Keen to demonstrate the advantage of four-wheel drive
0:30:01 > 0:30:03'to the bewildered crowd,
0:30:03 > 0:30:06'Hammond insisted on going first.'
0:30:06 > 0:30:09Right, here we go.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23OK.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28I am ashore!
0:30:41 > 0:30:43- OVER RADIO:- 'You're letting yourself down, the BBC,'
0:30:43 > 0:30:47and the whole country with your incompetence, Hammond.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Oh, come on!
0:30:52 > 0:30:55Sorry about that, Skipper!
0:30:55 > 0:30:57- Leave him.- We can leave him.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00'And so...
0:31:00 > 0:31:01'we did.'
0:31:02 > 0:31:04Bye, Hammond! Bye!
0:31:07 > 0:31:08Hello.
0:31:08 > 0:31:09Hello.
0:31:13 > 0:31:17'As we disembarked a few miles away on a proper landing jetty,
0:31:17 > 0:31:19'Hammond was being rescued by the locals.'
0:31:19 > 0:31:21SHOUTING AND CHEERING
0:31:23 > 0:31:25We're coming out!
0:31:30 > 0:31:32Everybody needs money now
0:31:32 > 0:31:34and I don't have any money.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Erm...
0:31:38 > 0:31:40I've got biscuits.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44More biscuits, more sweets.
0:31:44 > 0:31:45One second.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50OK, this is becoming alarming.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Erm...
0:31:52 > 0:31:55I've got crisps.
0:31:58 > 0:32:02'With my lunch all gone, I rejoined my colleagues.'
0:32:04 > 0:32:07With hindsight, offering up biscuits was a mistake.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09HE LAUGHS
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Yes, when you have 40 mouths to feed,
0:32:12 > 0:32:15unless you're Jesus, starting with two biscuits
0:32:15 > 0:32:16isn't brilliant.
0:32:18 > 0:32:21Well, that arrival was very happy and glorious
0:32:21 > 0:32:23and we're excellent ambassadors for Britain
0:32:23 > 0:32:25and her long tradition of exploration.
0:32:25 > 0:32:27In other news,
0:32:27 > 0:32:29I've fitted a fan.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38'We then broke out the map and went off to find the mouth of our river.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44'The beautiful and majestic Grumeti.'
0:32:53 > 0:32:55- In my mind, it was prettier.- Yes.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57- This is quiet, though. - It's not quiet.
0:32:57 > 0:33:02I admit, it's not picturesque and it's not peaceful,
0:33:02 > 0:33:04but if we find the source of this...
0:33:04 > 0:33:05We've done it.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07..You can't argue, we're in the history books.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10It flows through Lake Victoria, into the Nile,
0:33:10 > 0:33:11along the Nile,
0:33:11 > 0:33:14through the Med and into the Atlantic.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16And as far as I can work out,
0:33:16 > 0:33:17it's there.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20That's about 70 miles.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23We only have 70 miles to do. The good news is, look, some of it,
0:33:23 > 0:33:25you can follow the river on that road.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28But that bit, the last bit,
0:33:28 > 0:33:31- it's off-road.- Yeah.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34Look, there's no tracks or anything.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37Well... So, that's it. It can only get prettier.
0:33:40 > 0:33:44'And it did, because soon we were in the Serengeti.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56'A vast plain teaming with animals, all of which, as usual,
0:33:56 > 0:34:00'were way beyond the reach of our camera teams.'
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Wildebeest! Wildebeest!
0:34:10 > 0:34:12A zebra.
0:34:17 > 0:34:21I've seen more already here on the Serengeti
0:34:21 > 0:34:23than I saw in Sir Richard Hammondborough's
0:34:23 > 0:34:25Planet Earth Live programme.
0:34:25 > 0:34:28- ON RADIO:- 'Why didn't you show us all of these animals, Hammond,
0:34:28 > 0:34:30'on your Planet Earth Live programme?
0:34:30 > 0:34:33'There's millions of them we could have looked at!'
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Shut up!
0:34:38 > 0:34:41'Soon, we stopped to check on the course of our "beautiful" river.
0:34:41 > 0:34:46'And here we saw the most amazing wildlife yet.'
0:34:49 > 0:34:53They are the funniest creatures on earth, aren't they?
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Why are they so funny?
0:35:00 > 0:35:03This one's been to the Daktari shop in Florida,
0:35:03 > 0:35:04hasn't he, for his outfit?
0:35:04 > 0:35:06Every single piece of kit, he's got the lot.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09I don't know why, but American tourists -
0:35:09 > 0:35:12and I know we're watched in America, I'm not saying you're all like this,
0:35:12 > 0:35:14but when you travel, you're hysterical.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16THEY LAUGH
0:35:16 > 0:35:20'Sadly, the Americans departed, leaving us with nothing to look at
0:35:20 > 0:35:22'except some hippos.
0:35:22 > 0:35:26'So we got back on the road for the last few miles
0:35:26 > 0:35:29'of our epic journey.'
0:35:31 > 0:35:35I'm going to put my hand on my heart and say this
0:35:35 > 0:35:37is the best Top Gear adventure we've ever had.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40It's a noble quest in a truly
0:35:40 > 0:35:45stunningly beautiful country full of utterly hospitable people.
0:35:45 > 0:35:49'And then, of course, there were our cars.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52'A trio of 1,500-quid high-milers.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56'All had been presumably sold
0:35:56 > 0:36:00'because their owners thought they were on their last legs,
0:36:00 > 0:36:04'but they'd come here and taken on the worst
0:36:04 > 0:36:07'that Africa could throw at them, and they'd survived.
0:36:09 > 0:36:11'But which had been the most impressive?
0:36:11 > 0:36:15'Well, at the next river check, we had a chat about that.'
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Normally we pick one car that's best.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21- Mm.- I think on this occasion,
0:36:21 > 0:36:23I can't be convinced mine isn't the best,
0:36:23 > 0:36:25But I'm sure you're in the same...
0:36:25 > 0:36:28I wouldn't allow anybody to convince me mine isn't the best.
0:36:28 > 0:36:29So, in other words,
0:36:29 > 0:36:32let's, on this occasion, just agree to disagree
0:36:32 > 0:36:34- and say they're all the best.- Yes.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36Like one of those primary school sports days.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38- Yes.- Everybody gets a prize.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41You've all won. There are no losers at St Barnabas'.
0:36:41 > 0:36:44Let's go with that, they are all the best.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46That's fair. They've all done well together.
0:36:46 > 0:36:50- Let us now find the source of this disgusting, scummy river.- OK.
0:36:52 > 0:36:53Rubbish!
0:36:53 > 0:36:57If this WERE a school sports day, here's how it's worked out.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00Everyone's got all excited because the BMW, the fat kid,
0:37:00 > 0:37:03and the Volvo, the geeky, specky, nerdy kid,
0:37:03 > 0:37:05have finished the cross-country course.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08"Oh, well done, we're so amazed you did it!"
0:37:08 > 0:37:11But let's not forget the fact that the genuinely
0:37:11 > 0:37:14sporty kid, the Subaru, who's actually good at this stuff,
0:37:14 > 0:37:17also finished and finished well.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20Because it's the best. Fact.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27Ten minutes after this show's finished,
0:37:27 > 0:37:29you won't be able to describe what Jeremy was driving,
0:37:29 > 0:37:31but you'll be able to describe this...
0:37:31 > 0:37:34because it's got personality, character,
0:37:34 > 0:37:37something about it.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39I'm going to miss it.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44Now we're alone, viewers, I can tell you that the Volvo
0:37:44 > 0:37:47is the best car here. Because, let's not forget,
0:37:47 > 0:37:49this is a family estate.
0:37:49 > 0:37:55It's a family estate pretending to be a BTCC racing car.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57So it's compromised, as well.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59It shouldn't be here, it shouldn't have got this far,
0:37:59 > 0:38:01but it is and it has,
0:38:01 > 0:38:03and that's why I love it!
0:38:03 > 0:38:05It has the biggest heart.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09How can May possibly say
0:38:09 > 0:38:11that his Volvo's better than this?
0:38:11 > 0:38:14It's been like a seal on the entire journey,
0:38:14 > 0:38:18endlessly dragging its stomach along the floor.
0:38:18 > 0:38:20And it broke his back.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23He'd have been better off doing this journey
0:38:23 > 0:38:24on a space hopper.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26Then we have Hammond's "Tubaru,"
0:38:26 > 0:38:28which is as needlessly complicated
0:38:28 > 0:38:32as those idiotic trousers he insists on wearing
0:38:32 > 0:38:34with all their special pockets and clips for mossie spray
0:38:34 > 0:38:37and a hunting knife with a special compass.
0:38:37 > 0:38:38What's the point?
0:38:38 > 0:38:43I've done the entire journey in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46And that's what the 5 Series is,
0:38:46 > 0:38:48it's the familiarity of home...
0:38:48 > 0:38:50here.
0:38:53 > 0:38:57You're a car, you're a sitting-room, you're a bedroom, you're a fridge,
0:38:57 > 0:39:00you're a power station that charges up my phone every night,
0:39:00 > 0:39:04but most of all what you are, what you've become -
0:39:04 > 0:39:07is a mate.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10And that is what makes a car special.
0:39:10 > 0:39:11That's what makes a car great.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14You start to think of it as a person.
0:39:16 > 0:39:17You start to love it.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23'What our cars deserved now was a relaxing cruise to the finish.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25'But that wasn't going to happen.'
0:39:27 > 0:39:29Aaaagh! Aaaagh! No!
0:39:31 > 0:39:32Whoa! Geez!
0:39:34 > 0:39:38'The road was a rutted nightmare,
0:39:38 > 0:39:41'and it was peppered with sharp stones.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44'It was a car killer.'
0:39:45 > 0:39:48This is absolute puncture alley, this.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Bloody Nora!
0:39:55 > 0:39:57BANG!
0:39:57 > 0:39:58- What the- BLEEP- was that?
0:39:58 > 0:40:02Now, Jez has stopped at the side of the road, hang on, something is up.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06Jezza's been hit, I think, probably by a stone into his window.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Stone in through your window?
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Something has just blown up in there.
0:40:13 > 0:40:14- What the- BLEEP- was it?
0:40:16 > 0:40:19- That...- Is it an airbag? The airbag has gone off.
0:40:19 > 0:40:24- Look, the smoke's still pouring out of it.- Is that the airbag?
0:40:24 > 0:40:27Yes, the airbag just went off. There was a massive flash...
0:40:27 > 0:40:30- That is really weird!- My ear.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32I was saying this road is so rough it's going
0:40:32 > 0:40:35to set the airbags off, I said that just a few miles back.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37- Well, I have never seen that. - No, me neither.
0:40:41 > 0:40:42Phwoar!
0:40:44 > 0:40:46Now I'm worried about this one.
0:40:48 > 0:40:51'By now we'd had enough and wanted to stop for the night,
0:40:51 > 0:40:55'but this was dusk on the Serengeti.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58'Feeding time for the wildlife.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01'So we had to reach a safe camp that was 30 miles away -
0:41:01 > 0:41:05'30 miles that turned into a massacre.'
0:41:09 > 0:41:11Oh, dear. Shot to bits.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18- Have you got any more fronts? - Yes, I've got one more.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24That was new three minutes ago.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27Three minutes later I've got a flat on the front.
0:41:33 > 0:41:34We've lost another one.
0:41:34 > 0:41:38This road is beyond belief for killing cars.
0:41:38 > 0:41:43'It was inevitable, really, that eventually one of us
0:41:43 > 0:41:46'would suffer some damage that was slightly more serious
0:41:46 > 0:41:47'than a puncture.'
0:41:48 > 0:41:51Oh, my God. You are in big trouble.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54That one is straight, and if you come around the other side,
0:41:54 > 0:41:56that's on full-left.
0:41:56 > 0:42:00- You've broken a track rod steering...- Oh, my God.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02You can see the wishbone...there.
0:42:02 > 0:42:07If you look in there you'll see the end of it, where it's...gone.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09- Is it sheared?- Yes.- It is completely sheared off.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11That might have killed my car.
0:42:13 > 0:42:17- What's up?- He's got a puncture. He's also got a sheared wishbone.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19- You're kidding.- I'm not.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22That's a game over, isn't it?
0:42:35 > 0:42:37'The next morning, in our safe camp,
0:42:37 > 0:42:39'we counted up the toll from Death Road.'
0:42:42 > 0:42:45I had three punctures, one of which I have still got.
0:42:45 > 0:42:47Two airbags went off,
0:42:47 > 0:42:51both of which deafened me and gave me heart attacks.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54What else - oh, all four shock absorbers are completely ruined.
0:42:54 > 0:42:56Yours any better?
0:42:56 > 0:43:00Well, I had two punctures, the fuel line came off,
0:43:00 > 0:43:02the front bumper collapsed,
0:43:02 > 0:43:04I am not even bothering to look at my shocks,
0:43:04 > 0:43:07because I know they were absolutely shot, shot absorbers,
0:43:07 > 0:43:11but on the plus side, all the bits that attach the wheels
0:43:11 > 0:43:12to the car are intact.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15Speaking of which...
0:43:15 > 0:43:17actually, where is he?
0:43:17 > 0:43:19BANGING
0:43:26 > 0:43:29These are the remnants of the point at which the track control arm went,
0:43:29 > 0:43:33and you can see it was just rotten from the inside out.
0:43:33 > 0:43:37It was going to go at some point, and when it did collapse,
0:43:37 > 0:43:40it took the anti-roll bar out on the way past.
0:43:40 > 0:43:44So, the only option is, and it is quite a long shot -
0:43:44 > 0:43:46this is all useless -
0:43:46 > 0:43:49is to use the remainder of the track control arm that's under
0:43:49 > 0:43:50there attached to the hub,
0:43:50 > 0:43:55and use this to fabricate and weld on replacement bits for that.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03'At times like this, the procedure is clear.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05'We do leave a man behind.
0:44:05 > 0:44:09'But, because we'd come so far together, and because
0:44:09 > 0:44:15'we hadn't had breakfast yet, James and I decided to bend the rules.'
0:44:15 > 0:44:16We'll give him till 11 o'clock.
0:44:18 > 0:44:19Fair enough.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21- That's an hour and ten minutes. - Fair enough.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24What time did we get in last night, about two?
0:44:24 > 0:44:26Something like that, it went on for ever.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28Look at what I just slept in, look at it!
0:44:30 > 0:44:32- I mean look at the...- Thank you(!)
0:44:43 > 0:44:45'At exactly three minutes past 11,
0:44:45 > 0:44:49'James and I were parked on the main road by the camp, waiting to see
0:44:49 > 0:44:51'whether we would finish this journey as a twosome,
0:44:51 > 0:44:53'or a threesome.'
0:44:54 > 0:44:58Hammond is making a bit of a habit of this on these adventures, now.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01- Bolivia, his leg fell off.- Oliver.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04Oliver? Didn't it make it? Can't remember.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06- It did, but we had to wait for it...- Oh, yes, for days and days.
0:45:06 > 0:45:08..while he put it back together.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15Oh, hang on!
0:45:15 > 0:45:17- Do you hear that?- I can, just.
0:45:17 > 0:45:21Is that soundtrack of an approaching moron,
0:45:21 > 0:45:23or is it our support truck?
0:45:23 > 0:45:26With his silly little face at the wheel.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29What is coming over the hill?
0:45:29 > 0:45:33- Please let it be a lorry, please let it be a lorry.- Oh!
0:45:36 > 0:45:39- We can't be...- No.- Pretend to be pleased, pretend to be pleased!
0:45:39 > 0:45:41Pleased face!
0:45:41 > 0:45:43Oh, great, we're all back together as a team,
0:45:43 > 0:45:45oh, right, good, here we go.
0:45:45 > 0:45:51- Well done, mate.- Yes, well done! - Ha-ha-ha! Are you impressed?- Yes.
0:45:51 > 0:45:54- We're impressed that you're impressed.- That's nice.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57That looks tremendous. Anyway, Hammond, while you've been gone,
0:45:57 > 0:46:01- James and I have made a bit of a decision.- What?
0:46:01 > 0:46:05The source of our river is somewhere up there, OK?
0:46:05 > 0:46:07Now, only one of us can technically get there first -
0:46:07 > 0:46:09they'll be the one who's remembered, the other two
0:46:09 > 0:46:12will be forgotten, because nobody remembers who comes second.
0:46:12 > 0:46:16- So, we propose a race.- Yes.
0:46:16 > 0:46:17Three, two, one - go!
0:46:17 > 0:46:20And whoever finds the source first -
0:46:20 > 0:46:23into the history books, buried in Westminster Abbey.
0:46:23 > 0:46:25They dig up Livingstone, throw him away,
0:46:25 > 0:46:26"You got it wrong..."
0:46:26 > 0:46:28You don't have to be buried immediately?
0:46:28 > 0:46:30No, no, when you die.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33So, are we ready? The producers are on the other side of that river.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36- You can shout "Go!" - I'll do it on my tannoy system.
0:46:36 > 0:46:38- Are we ready, gentlemen?- I am ready.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45This is for everything.
0:46:45 > 0:46:49The greatest race in the history of mankind is about to begin.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53Three, two, one - GO!
0:46:56 > 0:46:57Power, etc.
0:47:01 > 0:47:04Where is Jeremy? What was he doing?
0:47:06 > 0:47:09Have they learned nothing from last night? Because I did!
0:47:09 > 0:47:12Speed causes punctures.
0:47:13 > 0:47:1617 miles an hour, that's what you need.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19I don't want a puncture, I want to win this,
0:47:19 > 0:47:21because this is a race for glory.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23The winner will go in the history books,
0:47:23 > 0:47:26the losers will be quietly forgotten,
0:47:26 > 0:47:29and they will end up opening a shoe shop, probably, in Durham.
0:47:32 > 0:47:36'Top Gear's ARU had found an area of hilly terrain 12 miles to
0:47:36 > 0:47:41'the east, where we believed we would find the source of the Nile.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44'Getting there first mattered.'
0:47:46 > 0:47:49Richard Hammond hot on my tail, in the quest for the source
0:47:49 > 0:47:51of the Nile, with his repaired suspension.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58This is as fast as I dare go.
0:47:58 > 0:47:59Ooooh!
0:47:59 > 0:48:00Ow!
0:48:02 > 0:48:06The car has just undergone major surgery, I have just closed
0:48:06 > 0:48:08the patient's chest, and I'm forcing him to play rugby.
0:48:11 > 0:48:13If Richard Hammond beats me in this race,
0:48:13 > 0:48:15he will be knighted by the Queen.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17She will say, "Arise, Sir Richard."
0:48:17 > 0:48:19Oh, you already have.
0:48:22 > 0:48:24Where the hell is Jeremy?
0:48:29 > 0:48:32This James May-Christian motoring isn't working,
0:48:32 > 0:48:34they're not getting punctures. I'm going to revert to type.
0:48:36 > 0:48:37POWER!
0:48:42 > 0:48:45I am a one-man dust machine.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52Hammond is going for it, he's making a move!
0:48:54 > 0:48:55Ha-ha-ha!
0:48:58 > 0:49:02'For the next few miles, we jostled for the lead.'
0:49:02 > 0:49:04Urgh, it's neck and neck.
0:49:04 > 0:49:07Oh, no!
0:49:09 > 0:49:12I'm going left, I'm going to do it. Ooooh!
0:49:12 > 0:49:14Ha-ha-ha!
0:49:14 > 0:49:16Ooh! Agh!
0:49:17 > 0:49:19This!
0:49:20 > 0:49:22There they are, I'm catching.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28A warning light has come on to say my car needs a service.
0:49:30 > 0:49:33Oooh! Oooh! This is just...
0:49:33 > 0:49:35killing my car.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41'We were now in the area where the source should be,
0:49:41 > 0:49:44'so we needed to go off-road to find it.'
0:49:44 > 0:49:47We're going to have to go right somewhere.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49Oh, hold on, hold on, what's this?
0:49:49 > 0:49:51There!
0:49:53 > 0:49:55Come on!
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Bugger Clarkson!
0:50:01 > 0:50:05Yeaaah! What do you think of that? Ha-ha!
0:50:05 > 0:50:07Westminster Abbey is mine.
0:50:10 > 0:50:13'As the plain opened out, we realised that in normal racing,
0:50:13 > 0:50:17'people tend to know where the finish line is.'
0:50:19 > 0:50:21Which way, which way?
0:50:21 > 0:50:26'But we had to rely on intelligence and cunning.'
0:50:27 > 0:50:32Right, trees, trees all growing along a little valley,
0:50:32 > 0:50:34that can only mean river.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37That is a valley, I'm not heading down into there,
0:50:37 > 0:50:40the source of the Nile isn't going to be in a valley.
0:50:41 > 0:50:45Ah-ha! Uphill, you see. Uphill is good.
0:50:48 > 0:50:50I've totally lost my bearings here, totally lost.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57Hang on a minute! Oh!
0:50:58 > 0:51:00This looks...
0:51:00 > 0:51:02This looks like a stream.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06It's going downhill that way.
0:51:06 > 0:51:08So I follow it up...
0:51:08 > 0:51:10and the source is in those rocks.
0:51:13 > 0:51:16It has to be. Oh, yeah!
0:51:21 > 0:51:23Rocks. Many rocks.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25That is the sort of magical place
0:51:25 > 0:51:28I anticipate finding the source of the Nile.
0:51:32 > 0:51:35There's a bit there moving, so it's that way. Right, here we go.
0:51:38 > 0:51:39It's got to be this way,
0:51:39 > 0:51:42and Clarkson clearly has the same idea.
0:51:44 > 0:51:46'And so did Hammond.'
0:51:46 > 0:51:48Ow, ow!
0:51:49 > 0:51:52Can you imagine children of the future learning in history
0:51:52 > 0:51:55lessons about Sir Richard Hammond?
0:51:55 > 0:51:57Nobody wants to think of that.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01'Because only one of us could achieve
0:52:01 > 0:52:05'immortality in the history books, things soon got a bit ugly.'
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Hammond's attacking him!
0:52:07 > 0:52:08CRASH!
0:52:08 > 0:52:10Get off!
0:52:10 > 0:52:12Ha-ha-ha! I'm through.
0:52:15 > 0:52:19Hammond is properly in my way now, he really is annoying me.
0:52:19 > 0:52:24I know how I can get Hammond out of the way...
0:52:24 > 0:52:26MUSIC BLARING
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Oh, God! Not that!
0:52:34 > 0:52:35I'm Genesis-ing him!
0:52:37 > 0:52:38Aaaagh!
0:52:38 > 0:52:42'Sadly, though, Genesis didn't work.
0:52:42 > 0:52:43'So I rammed him.'
0:52:43 > 0:52:45CRASH!
0:52:45 > 0:52:47What?!
0:52:48 > 0:52:50I'm in the lead again!
0:52:55 > 0:52:56Whoa! Whoa!
0:52:56 > 0:52:59This Volvo is so far out of its comfort zone.
0:53:05 > 0:53:08I'm going to go down in history!
0:53:11 > 0:53:13Everything tells me this is...
0:53:13 > 0:53:18it's the highest ground for miles around - it's got to be in there,
0:53:18 > 0:53:21it's got to be in there.
0:53:24 > 0:53:26Aaaaagh!
0:53:28 > 0:53:32But there can be no more than a few hundred metres now,
0:53:32 > 0:53:34we can afford to take a few knocks.
0:53:36 > 0:53:38Whoa!
0:53:38 > 0:53:40James, your suspension has collapsed.
0:53:40 > 0:53:45Your back wheel is coming off, I'm not joking. Ha-ha-ha!
0:53:47 > 0:53:49My car has collapsed. I'm going on foot.
0:53:51 > 0:53:53'As now were Richard and I.'
0:53:53 > 0:53:56End of the road for you, old friend. I'll tell you what it's like.
0:53:56 > 0:53:57I'm off.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13It's geology, Jeremy, geology.
0:54:13 > 0:54:17What have we got here? We've got bedrock, the ground is sunk down,
0:54:17 > 0:54:20indicating the presence of a spring, in my mind.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37Lizards.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46Look at it. A stream has done this.
0:54:46 > 0:54:49But where is the source?
0:55:01 > 0:55:05This has been wet. Wait...
0:55:06 > 0:55:10This is soggy. This is soggy.
0:55:10 > 0:55:16This could be a stream. It is a stream I'm walking up, it is.
0:55:20 > 0:55:22- BLEEP- Hammond is not having this!
0:55:28 > 0:55:31It goes downhill, that doesn't mean it starts at the top.
0:55:33 > 0:55:35Wait!
0:55:35 > 0:55:37Wait!
0:55:37 > 0:55:39Is it?
0:55:40 > 0:55:41No.
0:55:41 > 0:55:43Here?
0:55:45 > 0:55:48- That...- Yes.
0:55:48 > 0:55:50Yes!
0:55:50 > 0:55:52Sorry, mate! That was close.
0:55:52 > 0:55:54Hammond!
0:55:54 > 0:55:57Well done. That is the source of the River Nile.
0:55:57 > 0:56:00I'm going to put my finger in it, excuse me.
0:56:02 > 0:56:03That is the root of civilisation,
0:56:03 > 0:56:06- that nourished the ancient Egyptians.- What, your finger?
0:56:06 > 0:56:08No, not my finger, the water.
0:56:08 > 0:56:14That's going to nourish the Sudan, Egypt, Greece, Italy, Spain.
0:56:14 > 0:56:19Morocco, Algeria. That water is the lifeblood of all of it.
0:56:20 > 0:56:26So, that is the undisputed source of the River Nile,
0:56:26 > 0:56:29that is the man who found it,
0:56:29 > 0:56:31and somewhere way down there
0:56:31 > 0:56:34is the ruined Volvo that brought him here.
0:56:34 > 0:56:39We now have to claim this little pond for Top Gear,
0:56:39 > 0:56:42so, just bear with me, while I...
0:56:44 > 0:56:47Is the Top Gear flag slightly bigger than the Union Flag?
0:56:47 > 0:56:48Yes, that's right.
0:56:48 > 0:56:51Have we got this the right way up this time, so we don't get...
0:56:51 > 0:56:54So, here's what I'm suggesting, chaps - we plant the flags,
0:56:54 > 0:56:58and then we do what all great Victorian explorers did,
0:56:58 > 0:57:01pose for a photograph by our discovery.
0:57:03 > 0:57:05- PHOTOGRAPHER:- Wait for the birdie!
0:57:05 > 0:57:06Three, two, one!
0:57:38 > 0:57:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd