0:00:15 > 0:00:19APPLAUSE
0:00:19 > 0:00:25Hello, hello, everybody. Thank you so much, thank you.
0:00:25 > 0:00:26Thanks very much.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30We're back!
0:00:30 > 0:00:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:33 > 0:00:36We're back! We're back with a new-look Top Gear.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39We have changed everything.
0:00:39 > 0:00:44And to give you a taste of what you can expect over the coming weeks,
0:00:44 > 0:00:47we have prepared a little montage.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Tally-ho, tally-ho, chaps.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01They are all over me!
0:01:04 > 0:01:07At Twickenham, for England!
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Ooh!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12We might actually just be in with a chance.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Let's do this for Carroll Shelby, come on!
0:01:18 > 0:01:21You will find the source of the River Nile.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33- Here we are, ladies, at the bowling club.- Ooh, lovely.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- And, stop.- Oh, I am so on board.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43There's nobody driving!
0:01:43 > 0:01:46The last to arrive will cross into Mexico...
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Hello. I've accidentally painted a gentleman's sausage on a storm drain.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00'Oh, my.'
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Woo-hoo!
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Big jump, whoa!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- We haven't changed anything, have we?- No. Not really.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31Wait, I have bought a new jacket. You have new shoes.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- I'm in my 50s now.- James, to be fair, you were born in your 50s.
0:02:35 > 0:02:40To be honest, James turned 50 just last week.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Yeah.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44APPLAUSE
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Why are you applauding?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48All he had to do to get to 50 was not die,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51and the speed he drives, that's not difficult.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56Anyway, we have a tremendous series coming up, some amazing races,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59some incredible challenges, and, of course, some brilliant cars.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02And we start with the best of them all.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10The Pagani Zonda is my favourite supercar.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13But it's been around for a decade now,
0:03:13 > 0:03:17and for the last few years, Pagani have been promising again
0:03:17 > 0:03:22and again that they will replace it with a brand-new car.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31And now, finally, they have.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47It's called the Huayra.
0:03:47 > 0:03:54It costs £800,000 and it has a top speed of 230 miles an hour.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06The name Huayra comes from a South American god of wind.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Probably not what you want to hear.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13What you DO want to hear is that it has six-litre twin-turbo V12,
0:04:13 > 0:04:17made specially for it by AMG.
0:04:17 > 0:04:23And once petrol is applied, it makes 730 brake horsepower.
0:04:24 > 0:04:29And what you do want to hear and see is what that does.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Aaaargh, ha-ha!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42It spins its wheels all the time!
0:04:49 > 0:04:51I'm in a monster!
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Ha-ha-ha!
0:04:55 > 0:05:01Oh, dear God! 0 to 60 in 3.2 seconds, and then on into space!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06That is 180.
0:05:10 > 0:05:15That is savage. Savage, savage thing.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I can't get enough of that. I'm going to do that again.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25The drama isn't just restricted to the speed.
0:05:25 > 0:05:31Because inside the Huayra, it looks like a Victorian's idea of the 23rd century.
0:05:33 > 0:05:39And the detail is beyond obsessive - every single nut and bolt
0:05:39 > 0:05:41is made from titanium.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45The name badge takes 24 hours to carve out
0:05:45 > 0:05:47from a solid piece of aluminium.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Each wheel, also hewn from a single aluminium block,
0:05:51 > 0:05:53takes five days to make.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00And look at this gear shifter.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04All the mechanism is exposed so you can see the workings.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07It's made from 67 different parts, all arranged
0:06:07 > 0:06:11just so you can hear that mechanical clunk of a gear being selected.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14You don't even need to use it - you can use the paddles by the wheel -
0:06:14 > 0:06:18but they have put that there because it makes it more of an occasion.
0:06:22 > 0:06:28This fanatical attention to detail goes on and on and on.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Even the body is more high-tech than the one
0:06:31 > 0:06:33you'll find on a Formula One car.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40It's made from carbotanium. I even know what that means!
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Now somebody's told me.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46It's a blend of carbon fibre and titanium,
0:06:46 > 0:06:49which is incredibly light but is actually stiffer than carbon fibre
0:06:49 > 0:06:52and doesn't shatter when you crash.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54That makes things safer
0:06:54 > 0:06:57should you suddenly find all 730 bhp
0:06:57 > 0:06:59propelling you towards a hedge.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Not every element, though, is quite so cutting-edge.
0:07:05 > 0:07:10Pagani haven't gone with a fashionable twin-plate clutch that so many cars use today,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13because they do make for faster changes.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17They have gone instead for a more traditional single-plate clutch because it's smaller
0:07:17 > 0:07:20and a whole 100 kilograms lighter.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26In fact, the Huayra weighs just 1,350 kilograms
0:07:26 > 0:07:32and has the power-to-weight ratio of 541 brake horsepower per tonne,
0:07:32 > 0:07:38which is more than you get from a Bugatti Veyron.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42But where the Bugatti Veyron is four-wheel drive, this is only rear-wheel drive,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45and, rather worryingly, we have now come to the part of the film
0:07:45 > 0:07:48where we must see what it's like going round corners.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55I understand the more infantile viewers, of which there are many,
0:07:55 > 0:07:58will now want to see me sliding the back end around.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02So, here goes.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11Aargh!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15HE LAUGHS
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Amazingly, you can corner this car like a halfwit
0:08:21 > 0:08:24and come out the other side alive.
0:08:24 > 0:08:30And that's because, in the Huayra, the black art of aerodynamics is watching over you.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34You see those flaps on the outside?
0:08:34 > 0:08:39There are two at the back and two the front. They measure how fast you're going
0:08:39 > 0:08:41and then deploy to keep everything stable.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50That's astonishing!
0:08:53 > 0:08:56All from the back wheels - I'm in love!
0:08:56 > 0:09:00But the handling is not all down to the magic flaps.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03It doesn't feel big, like a Lambo,
0:09:03 > 0:09:06and it's all been set up so well
0:09:06 > 0:09:13and made so stable that even I can corner it hard without hiding in the glove box, whimpering.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Ohh, God, this is properly put together.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25The Zonda was always going to be a difficult act to follow,
0:09:25 > 0:09:28but the Huayra has pulled it off.
0:09:28 > 0:09:34It drives better, it looks better, and it hasn't lost any of the drama.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38On top of that, it also has something that its main rivals,
0:09:38 > 0:09:43Ferrari and Lamborghini, no longer possess.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51This car, and this might all get a bit Culture Show now, I know,
0:09:51 > 0:09:54has still got its innocence.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Ferrari and Lamborghini haven't.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58One is owned by Audi,
0:09:58 > 0:10:04the other is a commercial machine for selling hats and keyrings.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Pagani is where those companies were 30 years ago -
0:10:07 > 0:10:08no corporate culture,
0:10:08 > 0:10:13no branded teddy bears, they just want to make a bedroom wall pin-up poster.
0:10:13 > 0:10:19With a touch of the madness we saw in the Lamborghinis of a few decades ago.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20And you can feel that!
0:10:28 > 0:10:33There might be some people watching right now who could actually
0:10:33 > 0:10:35afford one of these things.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39And it is the job of you, me and everybody else to stand around
0:10:39 > 0:10:44and join together in a chorus, "Do it, do it, do it!"
0:10:59 > 0:11:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:01 > 0:11:08- Wow.- That is an amazing-looking thing.- Crazy but wonderful.- Amazing.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Now, do you know, do you know which of the world's cities
0:11:12 > 0:11:17- has placed the largest number of orders for this car?- No.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Wakefield.- Is it? - No, I made that up.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Is it really as fast as it looks?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Yes, yes! You know the straight between Chicago
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- and Hammerhead?- Yeah.- In this, it's not as long as you think.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32- It's just there.- Is it not? So I can't relax. "Oh, there!"
0:11:32 > 0:11:35It is just one corner, it is amazingly insanely fast.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Now, obviously, we must find out how fast it goes around our track,
0:11:38 > 0:11:42and that of course means handing it over to our tame racing driver.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Some say that we have at least thought of a new way
0:11:45 > 0:11:47of introducing him.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49But we haven't.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50It's The Stig!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54And he's off, surprisingly gentle at first,
0:11:54 > 0:11:57but then the tyres light up, the spoilers spring into action.
0:11:57 > 0:12:03Coming up to the first corner, and he is...he's indicating,
0:12:03 > 0:12:07seems a bit unnecessary, but he is keeping it all in shape.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Just about.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:13 > 0:12:19Should explain that, since the Olympics, The Stig has become obsessed with national anthems.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22He's around Chicago and fires in towards Hammerhead.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Hammond was right, that took no time at all.
0:12:25 > 0:12:31Under-braking and takes it easy through the left and right.
0:12:31 > 0:12:38Now, hard on the power. Do you hear those turbo waste-gates fluttering?
0:12:38 > 0:12:43Now, follow through - surely he can't use all the power there.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46He did. He double-breaks as he passes the tyres,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49presumably with his left foot or the middle one.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Just two corners left. God, he's coming in fast.
0:12:52 > 0:12:58Steady, Stig, up to Gambon. He's very smooth through there.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00And across the line.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02APPLAUSE
0:13:02 > 0:13:07Right, the Pagani, Pagani...
0:13:08 > 0:13:12- Hu...in.- Huayra.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17- Huuuugh.- Huayra.- It's a stupid name.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Why is it stupid?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21It hasn't got any consonants in it.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Consonants are the meat of language. If you had no consonants in your name,
0:13:24 > 0:13:28you'd be...I-a.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31And I'd be...Eey.
0:13:31 > 0:13:36People have waited a long time for us to come back, and that's it.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40Anyway, the fastest car we have ever had around the track is
0:13:40 > 0:13:44the Ariel Atom V8 - 1.15.1.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Now, are you seriously suggesting that this is faster than that?
0:13:48 > 0:13:51I would say it is in with a shout of being as fast, yes.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Well, you're wrong.- Oh.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Because, the Pagani did it in 1...
0:13:56 > 0:14:01..13.8. I am not joking.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03APPLAUSE
0:14:03 > 0:14:06It's genuinely staggering.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15I can't see that time being beaten ever, to be honest.
0:14:15 > 0:14:21Anyway, it is time to do the news, and it's good news,
0:14:21 > 0:14:26because the Dacia Sandero is on sale in the UK and taking the nation by storm.
0:14:26 > 0:14:31Great! Now, the Mercedes SLS, there it is.
0:14:31 > 0:14:36There is a new black version of it, there's a picture of it there, and it's yellow.
0:14:36 > 0:14:41It has 60 more horsepower than the standard, more speed, more violence.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Dear God, is the brochure written in bullet holes?
0:14:44 > 0:14:49- No, the brochure is carved into your face with a hunting knife.- Is it?
0:14:49 > 0:14:50Subtle.
0:14:50 > 0:14:55I wonder if they have addressed the problem with the old one - you could never get it sideways.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56This one doesn't go in a straight line.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00It's funny, weirdly - my friend just bought a black series Mercedes,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02and every time I see him, I say, "How is it going?"
0:15:02 > 0:15:05And he pretends it's great. "It's fine!
0:15:05 > 0:15:08"I'm enjoying it!" "But you've aged 30 years in a week."
0:15:08 > 0:15:10"I know! But I really like it!"
0:15:10 > 0:15:13That's like saying, "I've got a new attack dog, and it's great!
0:15:13 > 0:15:18"You don't know when it's going to attack, or who! I love it."
0:15:18 > 0:15:23- That's what that is.- It's a big yellow attack dog.- It's very silly.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Now, may I talk about 50 Shades Of Grey?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Really?
0:15:27 > 0:15:31Can I just honestly ask, who here has read it? Be honest,
0:15:31 > 0:15:33who here has read it? We're noticing a trend.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36It's mainly a women thing, I'm guessing, yes?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Men don't really have an equivalent, until now.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43I have found the male equivalent of 50 Shades Of Grey.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Tremendous Tractors.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47LAUGHTER
0:15:47 > 0:15:49APPLAUSE
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Come on, you're going to love it the most!
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Why would you not read that?
0:15:59 > 0:16:00It is all in here, isn't it? "Spikes!
0:16:00 > 0:16:05"These move through the ground to cover the seeds after they drop.
0:16:05 > 0:16:10"This has chunky treads, to grip bumpy or sloppy ground."
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- Hammond...- This is absolutely marvellous.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19I think you're reading more into it than is actually there.
0:16:19 > 0:16:25"It cuts the stalks and threshes them to knock the grain right out." Oh-ho!
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- I'm coming over all flushed. - It's just a book about tractors.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31And the best thing is, there's a series of them -
0:16:31 > 0:16:36there's Dazzling Diggers, Amazing Aeroplanes, Enormous Erections.
0:16:36 > 0:16:41- What?- I made that last one up.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45"Spreads the straw behind it as the grain spills from the spout...
0:16:48 > 0:16:52"..for farmland can be rough!"
0:16:53 > 0:16:54I've gone somewhere else.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56You've gone cross-eyed, is what you've gone.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Now, you know those dot-matrix signs on motorways?
0:16:59 > 0:17:03The overhead gantries that are used to warn you about impending doom?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Well, sometimes, there is no impending doom, so they put up other messages.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10I was driving along the other day, and one said,
0:17:10 > 0:17:12"Have you prepared your car for winter?"
0:17:12 > 0:17:15And I thought, "When I bought it from Mercedes,
0:17:15 > 0:17:19"I rather hoped they'd done that already."
0:17:19 > 0:17:21How exactly do you prepare your car for winter?
0:17:21 > 0:17:23We genuinely don't know.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Does anyone have any ideas how you would prepare a car for winter?
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Winter tyres!
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Winter tyres - you could conceivably put winter tyres on,
0:17:31 > 0:17:35but you only need them for, what, half a day? And they cost about £150 each.
0:17:35 > 0:17:41In the olden, olden, olden days, you probably did have to prepare your car for winter.
0:17:41 > 0:17:46- Perhaps that's the problem - the man writing the sign is stuck in 1953.- Yes.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Is it you? Have you been moonlighting writing signs?
0:17:51 > 0:17:55"Don't forget to lag your engine block with some stout canvas."
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- It was you! - Can I direct you to your jacket?
0:17:59 > 0:18:04Before you say I'm locked in 1953, Mr Toad.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:18:12 > 0:18:14- I'm the only modern one here. - Really?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16You may remember, a while back on Top Gear,
0:18:16 > 0:18:19we met the Race2Recovery team, a group of injured soldiers
0:18:19 > 0:18:23who were planning to take on the toughest race in the world.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25I remember thinking, that is very noble,
0:18:25 > 0:18:30but it's impossible, because Mark Thatcher had four functioning limbs,
0:18:30 > 0:18:34he never made it, so the idea that they would was, in my mind, preposterous.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37The race was over 8,500 kilometres across South America,
0:18:37 > 0:18:42it took two weeks, 30% of the entrants didn't finish.
0:18:42 > 0:18:48But, and this is amazing news, last Sunday, they did!
0:18:48 > 0:18:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:54 > 0:18:59Philip Gillespie, Matt O'Hare and the rest of the team,
0:18:59 > 0:19:03deep, deep respect from all of us here, that is amazing.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07Tremendous. Right, that is the end of the news.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10And I would like to move things on swiftly to the Bentley Continental.
0:19:10 > 0:19:16There are various versions available - you can have one with a top speed of 187, top speed of 194,
0:19:16 > 0:19:18a top speed of 198,
0:19:18 > 0:19:24but what if none of these top speeds are quite what you were after?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Well, Bentley has a solution.
0:19:43 > 0:19:48And here it is. The Continental GT Speed.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52This is not to be confused with the previous Bentley Continental GT Speed,
0:19:52 > 0:19:56or the Bentley Continental GT Supersports or in fact any other
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Bentley Continental that looks exactly the same as this one.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03No, this one is a bit special.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09What this is is the fastest Bentley ever built,
0:20:09 > 0:20:12because it will do 205 miles an hour.
0:20:13 > 0:20:18It will also go from 0 to 60 in just four seconds.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22And to deliver that kind of performance,
0:20:22 > 0:20:28the standard issue six-litre twin-turbo engine has been stoked
0:20:28 > 0:20:31to produce 616 horsepower.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36To ensure that all that power is delivered in an orderly fashion,
0:20:36 > 0:20:41this car has been fitted with a new eight-speed automatic gearbox.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56To help it stand out next to a regular Continental GT,
0:20:56 > 0:21:00the speed has been given a few signature flourishes.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Such as this black mesh radiator grille,
0:21:03 > 0:21:07these rifled exhausts,
0:21:07 > 0:21:11and inside, a gorgeous dark-tinted aluminium fascia.
0:21:14 > 0:21:20It costs just over £150,000, and at this point, you may be thinking,
0:21:20 > 0:21:21"So what?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24"Why do we need another fast Bentley anyway?"
0:21:30 > 0:21:35I thought exactly the same, until I drove it.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Up until now, every Continental GT has been, to my mind,
0:21:39 > 0:21:43just a sort of big posh car built to the numbers.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Built to an easy directive, if you like.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50But this car, finally, feels, I think, like a Bentley should.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54It's not the magnitude of the power that is important,
0:21:54 > 0:21:57it's the way it is turned into speed.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01You sort of get a discreet "ahem" from the butler
0:22:01 > 0:22:07and then this big aristocratic whomp in the kidneys.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08And the ride -
0:22:08 > 0:22:12the ride in a Bentley, I think, should be reasonably firm
0:22:12 > 0:22:17but forgiving and supple, and that's what you get here.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19You feel very much in control.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22You can read the road through the wheels and through the steering wheel,
0:22:22 > 0:22:25but it doesn't batter you in any way.
0:22:25 > 0:22:31Likewise, that new eight-speed gearbox is an absolute peach.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34It's also intelligent - it will skip gears,
0:22:34 > 0:22:38it will go from fourth to eighth if that's what is required.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41The Continental has been around for ten years now,
0:22:41 > 0:22:45and what this version feels like is a decade of engineering
0:22:45 > 0:22:49coming together to make something rather special.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51So to find out how good it really is,
0:22:51 > 0:22:56we decided to take it somewhere more demanding than a Welsh B road.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00So, since it has four-wheel-drive...
0:23:04 > 0:23:11Yes, we're going to unleash her £150,000 Bentley on a full-blown
0:23:11 > 0:23:16stage of the World Rally Championship.
0:23:16 > 0:23:22Specifically, here, on a 15-mile stage of the gruelling Welsh Rally.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30This is Top Gear consumer journalism.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I've never driven a rally stage...
0:23:35 > 0:23:37and I'm not going to now.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41I'm giving the job to rally ace Kris Meeke...
0:23:42 > 0:23:45who you may remember from our race between a rally car
0:23:45 > 0:23:49and Olympic gold-medal skele-bob pilot Amy Williams.
0:23:51 > 0:23:56On that occasion, my job was to sit next to him and not look scared.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Today, though, I would have to give Kris directions,
0:24:02 > 0:24:07which meant getting to grips with the mystifying world of pace notes.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10Basically, the number before the R, the R is a right,
0:24:10 > 0:24:14the number is the severity of the bend. One is a slight bend
0:24:14 > 0:24:19and the six is a real hard bend, so the numbers are graded one through to six.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22The numbers between the corners are the distance,
0:24:22 > 0:24:26so 40 is 40 metres, the C that you were calling is a crest,
0:24:26 > 0:24:31and the arrow is into, so that'll be crest into one right over crest.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34So how do I do this and look out the window at the same time?
0:24:34 > 0:24:38You don't look out, you have to feel the corners through your backside.
0:24:38 > 0:24:44So your brain needs to be 200-300 metres ahead of my driving.
0:24:44 > 0:24:49If it goes wrong, and we have a crash, who says sorry first?
0:24:49 > 0:24:53First thing I will do is check your pulse to see if you're still living,
0:24:53 > 0:24:54then I'll ask you to apologise.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Besides the complexity of the pace notes, there was another worry.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04A World Rally car is purpose-built for the job.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07It weighs just 1,200 kilograms
0:25:07 > 0:25:11and has bespoke brakes to help it stop.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Its gearbox is made to soak up the punishment.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Its roll cage is designed to keep the occupants in one piece.
0:25:21 > 0:25:28By contrast, all we have changed on our 2.3-tonne Bentley was the seats.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34The seats are good. I think that's good thinking,
0:25:34 > 0:25:38but most of other things about this car are bad, aren't they, for rally? Too big.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Yeah. A Bentley on a rally is a stupid idea.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45It has all the horsepower you need to get it up to speed,
0:25:45 > 0:25:50but we're trying to stop 2.3 tonnes on road tyres, so we don't have the grip.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54And you haven't got the handbrake. You have the electric handbrake, which is no good for...
0:25:54 > 0:25:59It's not, but we will have to do a little bit of man manoeuvring around the hairpins.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Are you a bit scared about driving this on a rally course?
0:26:02 > 0:26:05I am a little bit. You should be even more scared.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09And on those final words of comfort...
0:26:10 > 0:26:14..we took our place on the start line.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18- You see that bloke's moustache there?- Yes.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20That tells me everything is going to be all right.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24- So if you count me down, do a five.- Yeah.
0:26:24 > 0:26:29Five, four, three, two, one.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41We're off. Four right. 40.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48- You need to be quicker, James, come on.- 40 metres. Four right.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Suddenly, I knew what it felt like to be a rabbit
0:26:53 > 0:26:57caught in the headlights.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- Next, James, come on! - Left, left plus two left.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08James, I can't go up the road if you don't call out the notes!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- One right.- One right?
0:27:10 > 0:27:13- Repeat, repeat! - Then three right and then 40 metres.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Five right into six left then 40 metres into five right.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22This is a five, you're too late, James, come on!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Right, square right. Sorry, square left.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Whoa!
0:27:30 > 0:27:32James, either get it right or shut up!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37'The red mist had descended on Kris.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40'A fog of doubt had enveloped me,
0:27:40 > 0:27:42'but it seemed he wasn't going to back off.'
0:27:48 > 0:27:49Ohh!
0:27:50 > 0:27:52- Next one!- One right.
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Bloody hell!
0:27:56 > 0:27:57Four right.
0:27:58 > 0:28:03On the plus side, the Bentley's four-wheel drive was superb.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09The power phenomenal.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13And Kris was majestic.
0:28:19 > 0:28:20Especially in the tight bends
0:28:20 > 0:28:25where the Bentley's electric parking brake was useless.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Going into large hairpin right.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32- That's where you needed the handbrake.- Yeah.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41Ten miles in, and I was giving Kris proper backup.
0:28:41 > 0:28:42Five right.
0:28:44 > 0:28:48- Severe six right.- OK. That's a bit better, James.
0:28:49 > 0:28:50Through water.
0:28:53 > 0:28:58- 40, four left. - Got it. The finish, James.
0:29:01 > 0:29:02Two left. Tight.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08Man in road. Two left, over a crest.
0:29:12 > 0:29:13Jesus!
0:29:23 > 0:29:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:29:24 > 0:29:26So, James May, James May...
0:29:26 > 0:29:31the big question is, were you last?
0:29:31 > 0:29:32No.
0:29:32 > 0:29:38We beat a proper WRC rally car by two seconds.
0:29:38 > 0:29:42- So you were second to last? - Yeah. First of the winners.
0:29:42 > 0:29:47I have to say, though, obviously I would like to mock you for your hopeless co-driving skills,
0:29:47 > 0:29:49but watching this on that rally circuit,
0:29:49 > 0:29:52a deeply impressive spectacle, it really was.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54Yeah, it is a deeply impressive car.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56It's weird, I've never been a fan of the Continental,
0:29:56 > 0:29:59but I drove the little V8 engine one last year
0:29:59 > 0:30:01- and I thought that was pretty good as well.- Yeah, absolutely.
0:30:01 > 0:30:05They have done a great deal to improve the car over the years.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07But the trouble is,
0:30:07 > 0:30:11- they haven't really done anything to improve the people who buy them.- No.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13I mean, they do all that engineering work
0:30:13 > 0:30:18- and then they sell it to Mario Balotelli.- Exactly.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20- Who?- I knew you didn't know.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24He's that Manchester City player with the blond Brazilian on his head.
0:30:24 > 0:30:25Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:30:25 > 0:30:30Anyway, it is now time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
0:30:30 > 0:30:35My guest tonight is best known as a ginger man who is intent on bringing
0:30:35 > 0:30:39suffering and misery to countless millions of innocent souls.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Don't worry, I'm not talking about Mick Hucknall.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, from Homeland,
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Damian Lewis!
0:30:47 > 0:30:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:30:50 > 0:30:51Woo-hoo!
0:30:52 > 0:30:56- You're here!- Thank you.- How are you? - Pretty great.- Have a seat.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58- Thank you.- Have a seat. - Thank you. Thank you.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05I want to talk about Homeland, obviously,
0:31:05 > 0:31:08I know everybody wants to do that, but...
0:31:08 > 0:31:11I keep reading that you don't know how it ends,
0:31:11 > 0:31:13but you must do, really.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16Well... I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you!
0:31:18 > 0:31:22I don't know how it ends, because THEY don't know how it ends.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26It sounds a little avoiding to say that,
0:31:26 > 0:31:29but honestly, the writers write incredibly spontaneously.
0:31:29 > 0:31:34- They're actually sitting down this week to work out what happens next season.- You're in a wood now.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36- It's a bit of a surprise I'm still alive, I think.- Yeah.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Now they've got the headache of me still being alive,
0:31:38 > 0:31:40they've got to work out what to do with me.
0:31:40 > 0:31:44- Obama's a fan, isn't he?- The President of America is a huge fan,
0:31:44 > 0:31:46and invited my wife and I to the White House.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48- You are kidding.- Sat...
0:31:48 > 0:31:52convinced we would be sitting, you know, by the revolving doors,
0:31:52 > 0:31:54you know, just on the way to the toilet,
0:31:54 > 0:31:56consistently being hit on the back of the head as...
0:31:56 > 0:31:58old people went to pee.
0:31:58 > 0:32:02And then, actually, we sat at the table opposite him.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05The programme I'm surprised you haven't been on yet -
0:32:05 > 0:32:09- Match Of The Day. You're a big football fan, aren't you? - I do like a bit of footy, yeah.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11- You are a... - I'm a Liverpool fan.- Can I ask...
0:32:11 > 0:32:13SPORADIC CHEERS
0:32:13 > 0:32:16As you can tell from my deep Scouse accent!
0:32:16 > 0:32:20..have you never played in one of those pro-am celebrity..?
0:32:20 > 0:32:23I've actually twice had the extraordinary experience
0:32:23 > 0:32:27of playing at Old Trafford in front of 70,000 people.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30And last time I played, actually, I was playing in the centre midfield
0:32:30 > 0:32:33for England against the rest of the world
0:32:33 > 0:32:34with Jamie Redknapp.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37It was just me and Jamie marshalling midfield
0:32:37 > 0:32:40behind Shearer and Sheringham.
0:32:40 > 0:32:45And I clattered into Zizou, Zinedine Zidane,
0:32:45 > 0:32:48after about 15 minutes, and I didn't realise how angry he was.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51But Jamie Redknapp kept following me around the pitch, saying,
0:32:51 > 0:32:53- "Dame, Dame, calm down!" - JEREMY LAUGHS
0:32:53 > 0:32:54And I said, "What do you mean?"
0:32:54 > 0:32:58He said, "They haven't come to see YOU play!"
0:32:59 > 0:33:02And then in the 30th minute, in front of 75,000 people,
0:33:02 > 0:33:03what does Zidane do?
0:33:03 > 0:33:06He rolled his foot over the ball a few times,
0:33:06 > 0:33:09went to the touchline, stood there with the ball,
0:33:09 > 0:33:11looked up at me as I came charging in, like this,
0:33:11 > 0:33:14going, "I'm going to tackle Zidane," looked at me and went...
0:33:14 > 0:33:17poked it straight through my legs...
0:33:17 > 0:33:19to spontaneous laughter.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23I've never been laughed at by 70,000 people.
0:33:23 > 0:33:27It would shrivel up, and there'd be space for things, that's for damn sure.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29But it was an amazing experience.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31- Cars.- Cars.
0:33:31 > 0:33:36- I gather your first car was an Alfa Romeo?- Yes, it was.
0:33:36 > 0:33:39It wasn't a Spider, it wasn't a sexy Alfa Romeo.
0:33:39 > 0:33:44I bought my Alfa Romeo for a grand on a forecourt in Balham High Road.
0:33:44 > 0:33:48- No!- Yeah. And it wasn't even at a car dealership.
0:33:48 > 0:33:52It was like a junk shop with four cars in front of it,
0:33:52 > 0:33:54just lined up on the pavement.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56I used to live in Balham and I know exact...
0:33:56 > 0:34:00- You bought an Alfa from that man? - It was just off the pavement.
0:34:00 > 0:34:04I was pulling out of the car park at the Royal Shakespeare Company
0:34:04 > 0:34:06where I'd been working for a couple of years.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10- I put my foot to the brake, it went straight to the floor.- No, no!
0:34:10 > 0:34:13And I just rolled out straight across the road,
0:34:13 > 0:34:14bang into the opposite wall.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17Normally, the Alfa Romeo prevents that happening by breaking down
0:34:17 > 0:34:20on the way TO the Royal Shakespeare Company.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24So if you'd gone through the woe and the misery of a very, very unreliable car,
0:34:24 > 0:34:29presumably your next one was more sensible, more reliable?
0:34:29 > 0:34:32- It was a TVR.- There you go.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35- Which one?- The Chimaera.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38TVR stands for Total Vehicle Reliability.
0:34:38 > 0:34:39LAUGHTER
0:34:39 > 0:34:43It's amazing fun, though, the TVR, when you get it going
0:34:43 > 0:34:45and you throw it around the country lanes.
0:34:45 > 0:34:49I thought you were a bike man more than cars.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51I do, well, I have had motorbikes.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55I went and got my test and then totally fell in love
0:34:55 > 0:34:58with the ultimate hairdresser's chopper bike.
0:34:58 > 0:35:03Which was the Yamaha Virago 1,000cc high-handlebarred...
0:35:03 > 0:35:08- An Easy Rider bike!- Chopper. Easy Rider. Quite.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10Did you never fall off a bike?
0:35:10 > 0:35:15- That's what would stop me getting on one, the terrible pain that would result.- No idea.
0:35:15 > 0:35:16I had a couple of prangs
0:35:16 > 0:35:19and then I had a bad one just outside Pentonville Prison
0:35:19 > 0:35:23on the Caledonian Road when a cabbie pulled out
0:35:23 > 0:35:27and I just went straight into his windscreen.
0:35:27 > 0:35:28And I was out cold,
0:35:28 > 0:35:34woke up in a sort of cinematic cliche of a circle of faces
0:35:34 > 0:35:40as I came to. And also to feel this really hard grip on my wrist.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43That's the first thing I remember, just thinking,
0:35:43 > 0:35:46"That doesn't feel good. Someone's really holding onto me tight."
0:35:46 > 0:35:50Turned out the guy who was in the back of the taxi was a male nurse
0:35:50 > 0:35:55from the Royal Free Hospital who'd taken a taxi because he was pissed.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57He then said to me later,
0:35:57 > 0:36:00he said, "It was good I managed to get you into the recovery position."
0:36:00 > 0:36:03I said, "Yeah, but why were you holding onto my wrists so hard?"
0:36:03 > 0:36:06He said, "Because I couldn't tell if you were actually dying
0:36:06 > 0:36:09"or if I was just too pissed I couldn't find your pulse!"
0:36:11 > 0:36:16So it was just like... My God, come back! Holding onto me.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19Normally, these days, when people have accidents,
0:36:19 > 0:36:21the first thing they see is somebody videoing them.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25- That is today's version, isn't it? - It is today's version.- Ten iPhones. - Yeah, exactly.
0:36:25 > 0:36:31- Now, obviously, you came here to do your lap.- Yes.- Which wasn't easy.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34The sight that greeted us this morning...
0:36:34 > 0:36:38Let's have a look at the pictures we've got. This is our track.
0:36:38 > 0:36:44That is what... Yeah. With light sleet.
0:36:44 > 0:36:49So, realistically, you were never going to set the fastest time.
0:36:49 > 0:36:53You know, it's quite nerve-wracking coming to do this for the first time.
0:36:53 > 0:36:54You think, what's my limit?
0:36:54 > 0:36:58At what point do I just follow through a bit, you know?
0:36:58 > 0:37:02And will that be on the first corner?
0:37:02 > 0:37:05And when I saw the weather, it was oddly relaxing.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08You were thinking, now I can't win, so it doesn't matter?
0:37:08 > 0:37:10Yeah, then I thought...
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Then everyone was going, it's going to be great fun, it's quite icy out there,
0:37:13 > 0:37:16you'll be able to lose the back end and throw it around a bit.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19I was going, how do you know I'm going to be able to do any of that?
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Well, who'd like to see him doing a bit of that?
0:37:21 > 0:37:23AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:37:23 > 0:37:28These are some of the practice laps. Let's just run the tape here.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32Now, this is the follow-through. The fastest part, that's pretty ballsy.
0:37:32 > 0:37:35And...
0:37:35 > 0:37:38I wouldn't want to go off there, because it's pretty fast.
0:37:38 > 0:37:39Second to last corner, yep.
0:37:43 > 0:37:44Well held!
0:37:44 > 0:37:47Is it well held? Yes, it is well held!
0:37:47 > 0:37:48And that one is..?
0:37:51 > 0:37:55- I do like your determination to keep going.- Because of the camera!
0:37:57 > 0:38:00More rally driving, I think, today. Very good, though.
0:38:02 > 0:38:06- Eventually, you did manage to get a lap in.- Yes.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09- Who here would like to see that? - Yes!- Let's go.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14And they're off!
0:38:15 > 0:38:16Determined.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19Coming up to the first corner, just wet there,
0:38:19 > 0:38:21nothing much to worry about.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Now there's something to worry about!
0:38:25 > 0:38:29Ooh. That's slightly scary when the back does that.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31Keep it on the throttle, Damo!
0:38:37 > 0:38:38Look at that!
0:38:38 > 0:38:42Change gear now. Now!
0:38:44 > 0:38:47Braking's not easy into the Hammerhead at the best of times.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50In those conditions...
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Ooh, a dab of handbrake!
0:38:52 > 0:38:55I see a dab of handbrake and a bit of under... Change gear!
0:38:55 > 0:38:59- The Skandi flick. I believe. - It was a Skandi flick.
0:38:59 > 0:39:04No racing driver should have to put his windscreen wipers on. Do you know what I mean?
0:39:04 > 0:39:07When they're rallying, that is quite normal.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10I wouldn't want to be going over there at anything more than...
0:39:10 > 0:39:13Can he make it all the way through the tyres?
0:39:13 > 0:39:14Yup!
0:39:14 > 0:39:18Back into the fast bit. Now, can he get to the second last corner right?
0:39:18 > 0:39:20Yes... No!
0:39:21 > 0:39:22Yes!
0:39:22 > 0:39:26Into Gambon. Looking good.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28Oh, no! No!
0:39:36 > 0:39:40- That was a lot of fun. - That was tremendous!
0:39:43 > 0:39:46- That does look like a lot of fun.- It was a lot of fun. It was terrific.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48So where do you think you've come?
0:39:52 > 0:39:57So far, the slowest man we've ever had round here was John Prescott.
0:39:57 > 0:40:01- In a 1.56.7.- Yes.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Damian Lewis, you did it in...
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Two minutes...
0:40:11 > 0:40:12..nine seconds...
0:40:13 > 0:40:14..point one!
0:40:16 > 0:40:17But...
0:40:17 > 0:40:19APPLAUSE
0:40:25 > 0:40:29Should we have a separate board for snow?
0:40:29 > 0:40:34So I think you're the fastest person we've ever had in the snow.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36So we'll put you up there.
0:40:38 > 0:40:39It's good!
0:40:45 > 0:40:48- I have to say, actually...- Great.
0:40:48 > 0:40:52I do have to say, that is the slowest lap we've ever had.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57But, and I'm sure everyone will agree with me on this,
0:40:57 > 0:40:58by far and away the most entertaining.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Ladies and gentlemen, Damian Lewis!
0:41:00 > 0:41:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:10 > 0:41:12Now, so far in this programme,
0:41:12 > 0:41:16James has been rallying in a £150,000 Bentley,
0:41:16 > 0:41:20and I've raced around our track in an £800,000 Pagani.
0:41:20 > 0:41:24So someone's got to bring it all back down to earth.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27Yes, and unfortunately that person is Jeremy.
0:41:27 > 0:41:32Yes, as usual, it falls to me to be the voice of reason and common sense.
0:41:32 > 0:41:38With this, the Peel P50, the smallest car ever made.
0:41:38 > 0:41:43Until now. Because I have created, behold, this!
0:41:43 > 0:41:46APPLAUSE
0:41:48 > 0:41:51Now, I know. I know.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55Incredulity is often the first response.
0:41:55 > 0:41:56But let me talk you through it.
0:41:56 > 0:42:02Because underneath the handcrafted aluminium bodywork, OK?
0:42:02 > 0:42:06You have the engine and the running gear from a quad bike.
0:42:06 > 0:42:12But you will note it has lights and indicators and a number plate.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15It's passed all the Government tests,
0:42:15 > 0:42:18which means you can drive it on the road.
0:42:18 > 0:42:22Are you seriously suggesting that that is an actual car?
0:42:22 > 0:42:26- I promise it's a real car.- What's it called?- Ah! Well, that's brilliant.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29Because it's shorter and narrower than a Peel P50,
0:42:29 > 0:42:35I've called it the P45.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Now I'm going to test it.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39- What, you're going to test a car that you built?- Yes.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42So what are we going to do next week? VW tests its new Golf?
0:42:42 > 0:42:47Shut up! I'm going to be completely unbiased, as you shall see.
0:42:52 > 0:42:54I began on the track.
0:42:56 > 0:43:01And having determined very quickly that the P45 was exquisite in every way,
0:43:01 > 0:43:03I took it onto the public highway.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09I should make it plain this is Base L model that I'm driving now,
0:43:09 > 0:43:11but there are some optional extras.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13- CAR BACKFIRES - Urgh! Nothing wrong.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15Edit that out.
0:43:17 > 0:43:18There is, for instance,
0:43:18 > 0:43:22the deluxe wash wipe option which costs just £1.99.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24Good.
0:43:24 > 0:43:30And also, for just £500, this does come with satellite navigation.
0:43:33 > 0:43:34There's the sat nav. You see?
0:43:34 > 0:43:37You just hold it up and see where you're going.
0:43:37 > 0:43:41The P45 is designed to deal with all eventualities.
0:43:44 > 0:43:45I'm relaxed.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50So, I decided to join the main road.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55Yes, look at this! Look at this! Very brilliant.
0:43:55 > 0:43:59- CAR BACKFIRES - Oh! Oh my God!
0:43:59 > 0:44:02If you're watching this in the edit, make sure that doesn't go on television.
0:44:02 > 0:44:04I don't want people thinking it's a death trap.
0:44:04 > 0:44:06CAR BACKFIRES AND JEREMY SCREAMS
0:44:06 > 0:44:08It happened again! Edit that out as well.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12I can't believe how quiet the roads are this morning.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15I'm barely seeing any traffic at all.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21As I neared Guildford, I did find a jam,
0:44:21 > 0:44:25but this was no problem for the super-narrow P45.
0:44:25 > 0:44:29The speed machine is coming through!
0:44:30 > 0:44:34- CAR BACKFIRES - Ah! Oh! Oh! Nothing wrong!
0:44:38 > 0:44:41Oh, yes!
0:44:41 > 0:44:43This is incredible. Ladies and gentlemen,
0:44:43 > 0:44:46you are witnessing the birth of the future.
0:44:48 > 0:44:52I'm just staggered that Ford, General Motors, Toyota,
0:44:52 > 0:44:55all the automotive giants, haven't thought to make a car like this.
0:44:55 > 0:44:59And yet, a poky little motoring show on BBC...
0:44:59 > 0:45:01- CAR BACKFIRES - Ow!
0:45:05 > 0:45:10This is the way to drive the P45, with your face on the windscreen,
0:45:10 > 0:45:13then it can't smash into it.
0:45:14 > 0:45:18So, for local commuting, my car is faultless.
0:45:18 > 0:45:21But what if you want to go further afield?
0:45:21 > 0:45:24To find out, I pulled into a petrol station
0:45:24 > 0:45:27and without even getting out, I brimmed its tank.
0:45:34 > 0:45:35Good.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39Damn!
0:45:39 > 0:45:42I only have a 1.7-litre fuel tank,
0:45:42 > 0:45:46but the minimum delivery here is two litres.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59Discreetly, I squirted the difference into a bin.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01(I didn't see anything.)
0:46:03 > 0:46:05Then I fired up the two-stroke, 100cc engine
0:46:05 > 0:46:07and set off to London.
0:46:07 > 0:46:12Technically, I'm legally allowed to drive the P45 on motorways
0:46:12 > 0:46:14and dual carriageways.
0:46:14 > 0:46:20So to see how it gets on, I'm about to join the fearsome A3.
0:46:24 > 0:46:25Here we go.
0:46:25 > 0:46:26Ooh.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29Aarghhh!
0:46:29 > 0:46:33Arghh! I've never been frightened of a Citroen Picasso before
0:46:33 > 0:46:34and I just was!
0:46:34 > 0:46:37Aarghhh! A van!
0:46:37 > 0:46:39Arghh! I've got a weave on!
0:46:39 > 0:46:41Ohhh!
0:46:42 > 0:46:46Oh, yes! Help me! HELP! HELP!
0:46:46 > 0:46:49How fast is that now?
0:46:49 > 0:46:5234! Arghh! Lorry, lorry, lorry, lorry!
0:46:52 > 0:46:57Ohhh! A lot of poo shot out then!
0:46:57 > 0:47:00So while this may be completely legal,
0:47:00 > 0:47:02it's also completely terrifying.
0:47:02 > 0:47:06However, the advantage of a car this small is that
0:47:06 > 0:47:10you don't have to take it on dual carriageways.
0:47:10 > 0:47:14In fact, you don't have to use the main roads at all.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23What you do instead is you drive it to the railway station,
0:47:23 > 0:47:28but instead of leaving it in the car park to be vandalised and stolen,
0:47:28 > 0:47:31you take it on the train with you.
0:47:32 > 0:47:34Now, I will be honest.
0:47:34 > 0:47:38None of the train companies we contacted would play ball,
0:47:38 > 0:47:41so I'm using the coach instead.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44Coach is good. Coach is better than a train.
0:47:45 > 0:47:48Fewer diseases on a coach.
0:47:51 > 0:47:53And of course, when you get to the big city,
0:47:53 > 0:47:56you don't have to use the tube or the bus,
0:47:56 > 0:47:58because you have your car WITH you.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04Ah.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06ENGINE SPLUTTERS
0:48:06 > 0:48:08Oh, dear.
0:48:10 > 0:48:11ENGINE CUTS OUT
0:48:11 > 0:48:12Ah.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15ENGINE FAILS TO START
0:48:20 > 0:48:22Just cut the cameras.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25In London, I went for a little drive.
0:48:25 > 0:48:27Yes!
0:48:28 > 0:48:31All sorts of hand signals available. If I want to go...
0:48:31 > 0:48:34left, right, somebody annoys me.
0:48:36 > 0:48:38And then I went shopping.
0:48:38 > 0:48:41And with the P45, there's no need to pay.
0:48:45 > 0:48:50Or waste time looking for a parking space.
0:48:50 > 0:48:51- CAR BACKFIRES - Oh, dear.
0:48:54 > 0:48:58Of course, a Peel P50 also fits in a lift,
0:48:58 > 0:49:02but because it has no reverse gear, you can't back it out again.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05Unless there's a newsreader to hand.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08This, though, does have a reverse gear.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10So...here we go.
0:49:13 > 0:49:20Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...
0:49:20 > 0:49:23Now I know what you're thinking. There's no way you'd be allowed
0:49:23 > 0:49:25to drive around here with a two-stroke engine
0:49:25 > 0:49:29belching fumes into the faces of all the baby children.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31But here's the thing.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33The P45 is a hybrid.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36So when you come inside, you can disconnect the petrol engine
0:49:36 > 0:49:39and connect up a couple of electric motors.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43A very simple job. You take off a wheel,
0:49:43 > 0:49:45connect a free-wheeling hub...
0:49:45 > 0:49:49I mean, it takes a couple of guys...minutes.
0:50:00 > 0:50:02There are a couple of drawbacks.
0:50:02 > 0:50:06Number one, the top speed is now 3mph.
0:50:06 > 0:50:10Number two, the batteries will only last an hour.
0:50:10 > 0:50:15But I'm a man, and I can't think of any shopping expedition
0:50:15 > 0:50:18that could possibly take longer than that.
0:50:20 > 0:50:24Shoes, I've got some, I don't need any of those.
0:50:25 > 0:50:27I've got a chair.
0:50:27 > 0:50:28There's nothing I want to buy.
0:50:28 > 0:50:32Eventually, I bought a present for James.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36Then I decided to find out just how quiet my car is
0:50:36 > 0:50:38in electric mode,
0:50:38 > 0:50:41so I took it here.
0:50:47 > 0:50:49This is extraordinary.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53Nobody's looking up. Nobody's noticing me.
0:50:55 > 0:50:58The only trouble is that libraries are more interesting
0:50:58 > 0:50:59than shopping centres.
0:50:59 > 0:51:02Whoa. History of Germany.
0:51:02 > 0:51:05Can't be that big just to say, "We lost a lot."
0:51:06 > 0:51:08An hour simply flew by.
0:51:08 > 0:51:10Get out of the way, student.
0:51:10 > 0:51:13Soon, the batteries were flat.
0:51:13 > 0:51:15Oh, no.
0:51:15 > 0:51:17HE SIGHS
0:51:17 > 0:51:22Now, if this were a Peel P50, I could simply pick it up
0:51:22 > 0:51:24and carry it out.
0:51:24 > 0:51:27But I'm afraid the P45 is a bit heavier.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29A lot heavier. Weighs a tonne.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36There's only one thing for it.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38ENGINE STARTS
0:51:40 > 0:51:42ENGINE REVS
0:51:42 > 0:51:44This is so embarrassing.
0:51:46 > 0:51:49ENGINE REVS
0:51:49 > 0:51:53Sorry. Sorry, everybody. I'm so sorry. Really, I'm so sorry.
0:51:55 > 0:51:59The next morning, it was clear to me that the P45
0:51:59 > 0:52:03was completely excellent, but would it make commercial sense
0:52:03 > 0:52:05to put it into production?
0:52:05 > 0:52:09To find out, I'd set up an important business meeting.
0:52:09 > 0:52:13To make sure I look my best, I'm wearing a suit, as you can see.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17I've washed my hair, and now I'm going to give the car
0:52:17 > 0:52:19a wash and brush-up as well.
0:52:24 > 0:52:25Now, here we go. Yes.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Arghh! It's not warm! It's extremely cold!
0:52:30 > 0:52:31Aaargh...
0:52:34 > 0:52:39Oh, yes! People pay many pounds for this in countries...
0:52:41 > 0:52:43Oh, it's gone quite badly.
0:52:43 > 0:52:47What's happened here? A terrible thing has happened.
0:52:47 > 0:52:49SHOUTING
0:52:49 > 0:52:51A bad thing has happened.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53I've got completely wedged.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55ALARM BEEPS
0:52:55 > 0:53:00With the P45 untangled, I headed off to my big business meeting.
0:53:16 > 0:53:20First of all, I'd like to apologise for my...wet sleeves
0:53:20 > 0:53:24and my bloodshot eye - I got soap in it.
0:53:24 > 0:53:26We'll gloss over that.
0:53:26 > 0:53:31Right, erm... Cars are getting bigger, these days.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33I've got a picture of an original Ford Cortina,
0:53:33 > 0:53:36- which I'm sure you won't remember, Deborah! - CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY
0:53:36 > 0:53:39And the modern Mondeo, which is bigger.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42And it's the same story with the Golf and the same story
0:53:42 > 0:53:45with the Fiesta, and it's ridiculous
0:53:45 > 0:53:48when we live in a country as cramped and overcrowded as ours.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50So cars should be getting smaller.
0:53:50 > 0:53:54And that is where this comes in.
0:53:54 > 0:53:57This is my creation.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00The P45.
0:54:00 > 0:54:05The idea is, you can drive this to a railway station,
0:54:05 > 0:54:07and then you pop it on a train or a coach,
0:54:07 > 0:54:10go to the next city, and you can use it there as well.
0:54:10 > 0:54:12It's road legal...
0:54:12 > 0:54:14Can I make sure, cos I might have missed something.
0:54:14 > 0:54:17You started off apologising why your arms were wet,
0:54:17 > 0:54:18and then didn't explain why.
0:54:18 > 0:54:20Because they've got water on them.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27I actually do travel back and forth from the West Country on the train.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30You say you can take that with you.
0:54:30 > 0:54:32That looks quite big to get on a train.
0:54:32 > 0:54:35That's because train companies put seats in their carriages,
0:54:35 > 0:54:37which they needn't do with this.
0:54:37 > 0:54:41If you just produced a carriage, you could drive in and sit there.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Hold on a minute. At the moment, you can't get it on a train?
0:54:46 > 0:54:49- Not as such.- No. So you've got to rely on the train companies
0:54:49 > 0:54:52redesigning their trains for you to get this on the train?
0:54:52 > 0:54:54Well, redesigning is quite easy - you just take the seats out.
0:54:54 > 0:54:56OK. I, erm...
0:54:56 > 0:55:00Jeremy, is this your first business venture?
0:55:03 > 0:55:04Yes.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07What would it cost to have one of these on the road?
0:55:07 > 0:55:09- £8,000.- £8,000?
0:55:09 > 0:55:12- What would you make them for? - It'll cost £4,000 to build.
0:55:12 > 0:55:14By children or will you get adults?
0:55:14 > 0:55:17Can you really get children to work in a factory?
0:55:17 > 0:55:20Cos that would be brilliant if you could.
0:55:20 > 0:55:22- EVAN DAVIS:- Jeremy has asked if he could get children
0:55:22 > 0:55:24to work in a factory.
0:55:25 > 0:55:26You must come and have a look.
0:55:26 > 0:55:30Theo Paphitis decides to take a closer look.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36- Jeremy. It's (BLEEP).- It isn't!
0:55:36 > 0:55:39It is. Total and utter (BLEEP).
0:55:39 > 0:55:44Theo Paphitis thinks Jeremy's car still needs work.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47I don't understand why you're not seeing what I'm seeing here.
0:55:47 > 0:55:48DEBORAH: We are, Jeremy.
0:55:48 > 0:55:50I can see exactly what you're looking at.
0:55:50 > 0:55:55It's just that I can see that it's loopy and you can't.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58- How much of YOUR money have you invested in this?- None at all.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01That is the best thing that you've done yet.
0:56:01 > 0:56:06Do you have a plan? Do you have any idea of the size of the market,
0:56:06 > 0:56:08how you're going to sell it to that market..?
0:56:09 > 0:56:11- Yes.- So, size of the market?
0:56:11 > 0:56:141,600 a month.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16- 1,600 a month?- Or a year.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23Well, Jeremy. I'm going to make you an offer.
0:56:23 > 0:56:24That's the ticket!
0:56:24 > 0:56:27£1 for 1%.
0:56:28 > 0:56:31Why would anybody buy this?
0:56:35 > 0:56:39- It's got stripes on it. - I couldn't invest in you.
0:56:39 > 0:56:40I'm sorry. I'm out.
0:56:41 > 0:56:44Jeremy, I have to say one thing.
0:56:44 > 0:56:47It is the smartest I've ever seen you.
0:56:47 > 0:56:50So congratulations for that. You've made, clearly, a real effort.
0:56:50 > 0:56:54However, I can't invest in ridiculous things.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56So on that basis, Jeremy, I'm going to have to tell you I'm out.
0:56:56 > 0:57:01Jeremy, it's rubbish. It's useless.
0:57:01 > 0:57:03You're wasting your time.
0:57:03 > 0:57:07I can't invest in this. So I'm out.
0:57:07 > 0:57:11Theo Paphitis is out, which means Jeremy's only chance
0:57:11 > 0:57:12is Duncan Bannatyne.
0:57:12 > 0:57:14Well, Jeremy.
0:57:14 > 0:57:18I'm the last Dragon in. I tried to tempt them
0:57:18 > 0:57:20by making an offer, hoping they would come in with me.
0:57:21 > 0:57:23Sorry, I can't understand a word you're saying.
0:57:29 > 0:57:30That is... I'm out.
0:57:30 > 0:57:33Jeremy has insulted Duncan Bannatyne,
0:57:33 > 0:57:35and now he too is out.
0:57:38 > 0:57:42All the Dragons have given him his P45.
0:57:44 > 0:57:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:57:48 > 0:57:50Well, I'm sorry...
0:57:52 > 0:57:55I'm unbowed by their negativity.
0:57:55 > 0:57:59How can they not realise this is a car you NEVER need to park?
0:57:59 > 0:58:02You can go to the theatre in it, shopping, your arms are free
0:58:02 > 0:58:04so you can reach things from the shelves.
0:58:04 > 0:58:07You never need get out of it.
0:58:07 > 0:58:10Which is ironic, because the first thing anyone will want to do
0:58:10 > 0:58:12upon getting in, is get out of it.
0:58:12 > 0:58:13LAUGHTER
0:58:13 > 0:58:14And it's a death trap.
0:58:14 > 0:58:17I feel like Vincent van Gogh.
0:58:17 > 0:58:20- You've only got one ear?- No. Nobody recognised his genius
0:58:20 > 0:58:23until AFTER he died.
0:58:23 > 0:58:27So what you're saying is, for this to be a commercial success,
0:58:27 > 0:58:30you have to be dead?
0:58:30 > 0:58:32LAUGHTER
0:58:32 > 0:58:34Yes.
0:58:34 > 0:58:37And on that bombshell, it is time to end.
0:58:37 > 0:58:41Thank you for watching. They'll see you next week. Good night!
0:59:02 > 0:59:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd