0:00:11 > 0:00:14Tonight, I point at a thing...
0:00:15 > 0:00:18..Richard walks through a shop
0:00:18 > 0:00:20and James has some bananas.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Hello! Hello, everybody. Thank you.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Thank you so much.
0:00:34 > 0:00:39Now, every so often we like to remind ourselves that this is
0:00:39 > 0:00:40a motoring show.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44So, we get three really nice cars and go for a long drive.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48And what we do is, we take it in turns to choose the location.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52So, if it's my turn, we usually end up in France,
0:00:52 > 0:00:55if it is James's turn we usually end up in...
0:00:55 > 0:00:57- 1953. - LAUGHTER
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Tonight, though, it was Hammond's turn.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02So guess what?
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Our meeting point was the Valley of Fire in Nevada.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19And what you see here is the car I'll be using.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24This is a Lexus LFA.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27It's not the most powerful car in the world, it's not the fastest,
0:01:27 > 0:01:31it's not the best looking and it certainly isn't the cheapest.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36Plus, the Lexus badge does come with a whiff of masonry.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39But I drove one of these in England last year
0:01:39 > 0:01:44and I emerged from the experience thinking, "That might very well be
0:01:44 > 0:01:47"the best car I've ever driven."
0:01:47 > 0:01:48And that's why we're here.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52- To find out. - FAR-OFF ENGINE ROARS
0:01:52 > 0:01:54At this point, the stillness of the desert
0:01:54 > 0:01:59was shattered by the sound of an approaching James May,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03who was at the wheel of the new Aston Martin Vanquish.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11It's not bad, is it?
0:02:12 > 0:02:14This is a DBS replacement,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17but also a bit inspired by the £177 million thing.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19And look at the upholstery!
0:02:19 > 0:02:22I know, the upholstery is outrageous.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25That's the best looking Aston there's ever been, actually.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Best one they've done.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29That, though, cos I've never seen one in a good colour like that,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- that is pretty fantastic. - No, but yours is better.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34And the great thing is, I'm in the better car
0:02:34 > 0:02:38and I'm just going to follow you around going, "That is beautiful."
0:02:38 > 0:02:41'After a bit more mutual mastication,
0:02:41 > 0:02:45'we started to wonder what Billy Bob Hammond might bring.'
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Will it be something subtle, small, European?
0:02:50 > 0:02:52No, my money was on something rather large,
0:02:52 > 0:02:55brash and maybe even American.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57FAR-OFF ENGINE ROARS
0:02:57 > 0:02:59'And blow me down, I was right.'
0:03:01 > 0:03:03So... The new Viper.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04- You?- Yeah.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08I know it looks exactly like the old one, but that is the new Viper.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11- ENGINE PURRS - Yay.- Subtle.
0:03:11 > 0:03:16Before you two start, let me just tell you, that 8.4 litre V10,
0:03:16 > 0:03:19that's the largest engine ever fitted to any production car
0:03:19 > 0:03:21since the war. And looking around here,
0:03:21 > 0:03:24let's not forget, this car is the fastest,
0:03:24 > 0:03:27with the highest top speed, it's the fastest to 60,
0:03:27 > 0:03:29the most powerful, 640bhp,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32it's got the most torque and the biggest engine.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I'm sorry, Hammond. They haven't styled it.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37This has been in a wind tunnel to look like this!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39If that's been in a wind tunnel,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42they parked it in there sideways for all the good it's done.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- It's been in a wind tunnel. - Look at the panel gap.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46I'll stand behind you, have a look at it.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Let me see if I can see how many fingers you hold up in that panel gap.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51There has to be a gap between the panels or
0:03:51 > 0:03:54there'd be one piece! Let's have a look at yours.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- That looks ridiculous.- It's a Lexus. - It's just a nerd-fest.- It's a Lexus.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00- It's for rich golfers, is what it is. - I admit, the Lexus...
0:04:00 > 0:04:03If you want to talk about panel gap, there's a whopper straightaway.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- It's a cooling system! - Is it heck, it doesn't fit.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I'm surprised at you cos this is a bunch of retro nonsense, really.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- CLARKSON SPLUTTERS - No, I'm sorry, I won't have that.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14It's very pretty, yes, but it's harking...
0:04:14 > 0:04:15It's harking back to the past
0:04:15 > 0:04:18and a car with an engine from the 1930s isn't?
0:04:18 > 0:04:21This is a nerd-fest, that's for old fools, that is a proper,
0:04:21 > 0:04:26- honest Gran T... 8.4 litre V10. - You don't need it to be that big!
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Hang on a second. Who owns Chrysler now, the people that made this?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- Fiat.- What else do they make?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- Ferrari.- There you go.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37But, Hammond, All-Bran is made by the same people who make Frosties.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- It doesn't mean they're comparable! - That's a stupid...
0:04:39 > 0:04:41- It's not!- Right, look.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- I knew I would get some flak... - Shush. Shush.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Instead of just standing here arguing...- Yes.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49..why don't we go for a drive?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- That's a better idea.- Open the taps.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00'Straightaway, though, there was a problem.'
0:05:02 > 0:05:06Not again. Hammond, why do you like it in America so much?
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Every nice piece of road has an 8mph speed limit on it.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12I don't know, don't ask me, it's not my fault.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Yes, it is.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17I mean, what are we going to hit?
0:05:17 > 0:05:20What are we going to hit here? There's nothing.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22No wildlife, no people.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25This is stupid. It's stupid!
0:05:27 > 0:05:30'Eventually, though, the 35mph hour limit ended,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33'and thanks to some trickery in the edit,
0:05:33 > 0:05:38'we were able to take our cars up to a dizzying 55mph.'
0:05:50 > 0:05:51There it goes.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58This isn't just an engine, it's a force of nature!
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Let's see what a proper V12 feels like.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Nice is the answer.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17The engine in this is so exquisite
0:06:17 > 0:06:23that it revs from idle to 9,000rpm in 0.6 of a second.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27In fact, it revs so fast
0:06:27 > 0:06:30they couldn't fit a conventional rev counter.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33It had to be electronic, because a normal one simply can't keep up.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Right, let's sort something out right from the start.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44James's Aston Martin costs £190,000.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48Jeremy's Celica, £340,000.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51This - £75,000 or thereabouts.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52That is a huge difference!
0:06:52 > 0:06:56It does all the fancy stuff, too, it's got all the fancy materials,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59carbon fibre, aluminium, magnesium - they're all in here.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03'But when it comes to technology,
0:07:03 > 0:07:07'neither of their cars is a match for the howling LFA.'
0:07:10 > 0:07:17It took five years of sweat, toil and cash to design this car
0:07:17 > 0:07:21and then just before they put it on sale, someone said,
0:07:21 > 0:07:25"You know, I think it would be better if the body was made from
0:07:25 > 0:07:28"carbon fibre rather than aluminium."
0:07:28 > 0:07:30And they began all over again.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32How much would that cost?!
0:07:34 > 0:07:38All I do know is, they sell them for £340,000
0:07:38 > 0:07:42and they lose money on every single one that leaves the dealership.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49'By the time Jeremy had stopped droning on about his Celica,
0:07:49 > 0:07:51'we were on a motorway
0:07:51 > 0:07:54'and I got the distinct impression I was playing gooseberry.'
0:07:58 > 0:08:02I'd like to say that, from the back, particularly in that colour,
0:08:02 > 0:08:07and in fact this light, the LFA looks absolutely epic.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08I mean, seriously.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10ROAR OF ENGINE
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Ooh, that makes a lovely sound.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16It makes a very nice noise, your Aston Martin.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Oh, God, why don't you two just get a room?
0:08:20 > 0:08:23"Your car looks nice!" "Oh, your car sounds lovely." Ooh!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26'But they didn't get a room.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30'Instead, they stopped to look at a silly aeroplane.'
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- James?- Yeah, yeah.- B-2?- Yeah.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39That's amazing, isn't it?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42That is a B-2 stealth bomber coming into land at...
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Actually, he's turning to come over us.- Yeah.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47We're not supposed to be able to see it, are we?
0:08:47 > 0:08:50- THEY LAUGH - I don't think it works!
0:08:52 > 0:08:56'As the sun began to set, we were back on the road,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59'heading for the Las Vegas Motor Speedway.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04'Here, you can drive a NASCAR round the oval,
0:09:04 > 0:09:07'or you can learn the racetrack on a Ferrari simulator
0:09:07 > 0:09:11'before doing it for real in an actual Ferrari car.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15'But Jeremy decided we should go to the drag strip.'
0:09:18 > 0:09:20ENGINES ROAR
0:09:25 > 0:09:27God, that's loud!
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Argh!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31'We couldn't understand why, because it just seemed to be
0:09:31 > 0:09:36'a lot of very noisy modified cars, which we all hate.'
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Look, there's another one come in dressed as a policeman.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42- No, they really are police.- What, genuinely?- They really... I promise.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44There they are, police sheriff and the fire department.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47They invite kids down to race against them
0:09:47 > 0:09:49to stop the kids racing on the streets.
0:09:49 > 0:09:54- So they race the actual police? - That was a police Mustang.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58They've modded, the police have modded it and then say to kids...
0:09:58 > 0:10:03- "What you got?"- "Can you beat us?" They actually call it Beat The Meat.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- No, it's probably Beat The Heat, cos heat means...- Yeah, I meant that.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12'To prove that modified cars are idiotic,
0:10:12 > 0:10:16'Jeremy decided to take on the local sheriff.'
0:10:16 > 0:10:20Yes, look, I'm up against some crummy pickup truck.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22This is going to just be...
0:10:23 > 0:10:25..well, deeply embarrassing for him.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33That's there?!
0:10:40 > 0:10:42'After this humiliation,
0:10:42 > 0:10:46'I took on the state trooper in another pickup truck.'
0:10:46 > 0:10:48OK, now, come on, Richard, concentrate.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Where's he gone?
0:11:03 > 0:11:08'Having watched the fire department's motorcycle demolish a Honda NSX...'
0:11:11 > 0:11:14'..James wisely decided to take on a youth
0:11:14 > 0:11:16'in a clapped-out Mitsubishi Evo.'
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Oh, yes, for England!
0:11:21 > 0:11:25I'm going to do it in D and Sport, I'm going to use Launch Control.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Try not to look smug, James. Try not to look smug.- Practise your face.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32ENGINES PURR
0:11:34 > 0:11:35TYRES SCREECH
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Oh, hang on a second.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42All-wheel drive beats rear-wheel drive.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44God, he just sodded off.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Woo! >
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Oh, now, come on.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53'Having spent the entire evening losing to absolutely everything...'
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Pick on a weak one!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Oh, no!
0:11:59 > 0:12:03'..we decided we didn't like drag racing
0:12:03 > 0:12:07'and went into Las Vegas to do strip billiards instead.'
0:12:13 > 0:12:16APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Humiliating.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23I can't believe, I still can't believe that I was beaten
0:12:23 > 0:12:28by some bloke who had spent 1,500 quid modifying an ancient Mitsubishi.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31No, but the reason we hate modified cars is cos we know,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33if he tried to do it again, his engine would go "BANG!
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- "Clatter, clatter, clatter," and that would be end of that.- True.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38I'll tell you what I think's funny,
0:12:38 > 0:12:40imagine the British police trying to do Beat the Meat.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43- Heat! Heat! - LAUGHTER
0:12:43 > 0:12:46"Right, I've tuned up the Astra Diesel.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49"I might get 120 out of it down the straight now,
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- "who wants to take me on?" - What a spectacle.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55But anyway, the most important thing is to reveal now which of the cars,
0:12:55 > 0:12:57our cars, was the fastest and it was mine.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Er, yours was the most expensive.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01It was the fastest.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Listen, on paper the Viper is the fastest.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Yes, on paper, but, Hammond, on tarmac...
0:13:07 > 0:13:09LAUGHTER
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- ..mine was the... It was, it just was.- User area...
0:13:12 > 0:13:17Anyway, we'll pick that up later on but now we're going to do the news.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- Yes, we are. I've had another theory.- Good.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- Oh, God.- No, you love my theories.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25OK, this one, you know Jessops and HMV and Woolworths and Comet,
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- they all closed down recently? - Yeah, Jeremy, this is a car show.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Yes, yes, bear with me, OK?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32And everyone is asking,
0:13:32 > 0:13:37"Why are people shopping in retail and out-of-town centres
0:13:37 > 0:13:39"and town centres are just becoming boarded-up shops
0:13:39 > 0:13:43"and women in short skirts vomiting and catching herpes?" Right?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- LAUGHTER - There's a very good reason for this.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50It's cos when you go to an out-of-town retail centre place,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52you can park your car.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55When you go into a town centre, you can't.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Right, so what are you suggesting?
0:13:57 > 0:14:00It's easy to fix Britain's town centres.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04Rip up every double yellow line and sack every single traffic warden.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:07 > 0:14:12The problem is solved. Why wouldn't you do that?
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Everybody's running around going,
0:14:13 > 0:14:16"Town centres are dying, what should we do? It's easy!"
0:14:16 > 0:14:19But if you allow people to park anywhere in the town centre,
0:14:19 > 0:14:23- it'll become impossible to get in or out.- Rubbish! It's true.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26So you think parking restrictions are just out of spite?
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Well, what else are they for?
0:14:27 > 0:14:31They go, "Hey, we did really well, we got a £12 revenue today
0:14:31 > 0:14:35"from our parking restrictions." Meanwhile, every shop is shut.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38We need to have a more French attitude to parking.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Cos the rule in France is,
0:14:40 > 0:14:43if there is a space that a car will go in, you put your car in it.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Even if it's on a mini roundabout, that is the rule.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48James, why aren't we running the country?
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Why are we presenting this programme with Noel Coward, more to the point?
0:14:52 > 0:14:56You were Mr Toad last week, you really are moving around.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- Right, we've sorted parking. Good. - You haven't!
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Now, the next problem we face and this is a big one...
0:15:01 > 0:15:04You know when James is telling you something
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- and you start to feel drowsy? - Oh, God.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Yes, it's like you've had a whole bottle of red,
0:15:09 > 0:15:11five portions of shepherd's pie in front of a fire.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Yeah, and it's embarrassing. It is embarrassing.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- He's in the middle of a story and you nod off.- It's awkward.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21It is awkward. However, it's all going to be solved with this. £8.99.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- You clip it on your ear, OK? - BEEPING
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Right. Sitting still.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- James. Explain torque.- Torque?
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Torque is fantastically simple, Jeremy, it's just a force at a distance,
0:15:33 > 0:15:36that's why it's in pound-feet, for example, or newton metres.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39EARPIECE BEEPS LAUGHTER
0:15:39 > 0:15:42It's waking me up as well, what's the point of that?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- I can hear him now.- It is, I'd rather be asleep with his lectures.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48No, they also say it can be used for drivers.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50So when you're driving you can have it on your ear
0:15:50 > 0:15:52and if you nod off, it'll wake you up.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53But, and you'll love this bit,
0:15:53 > 0:15:57- it says in the blurb it could be used by airline pilots.- What?!
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- Oh, really? That's some comfort, isn't it?- It's reassuring, I think.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Mid Atlantic, thinking, "It's OK because the fate of me
0:16:03 > 0:16:06"and all these other souls on board this jumbo jet
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- "lie in the hands of a £7.99..." - 8.99!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11"..£8.99 Chinese-made ear beep."
0:16:11 > 0:16:13I don't actually know how much a Boeing 747 costs,
0:16:13 > 0:16:16but I'm pretty sure the price isn't something-99.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19But there's no component of it that's something-99.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Can you imagine if they said, "An announcement now from the flight deck..."
0:16:23 > 0:16:26BEEPING Argh! Wake up!
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- Wake up!- It is a stupid idea.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30It is a stupid idea.
0:16:30 > 0:16:35Now, while I was driving down here I saw one of the new Jaguar F-types.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Have you heard about this? The new Jag small sports car.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Got a picture here. It is a beautiful-looking thing.- Oh, yes.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43And actually, it's even better looking from the back.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I mean, that is a sensational-looking thing.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47But I'll tell you what surprised me about it,
0:16:47 > 0:16:50is I thought it was going to cost 40,000,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53the same as a Porsche Boxster or a Mercedes SLK.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57It's going to cost between 60 and 80,000, and even on the top models
0:16:57 > 0:17:00you pay extra for heated seats and keyless entry and so on.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02I'll tell you what worries me about that.
0:17:02 > 0:17:07I bet they have set that up more for handling and less for comfort.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- Mm.- Which will be a mistake.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11God, it's for younger people. That's the...
0:17:11 > 0:17:13- It isn't!- It is.- It isn't!
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Younger people spend 150 quid on their cars, not 80 grand.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21The only person who can spend 80 grand on a car is in their 50s.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25That car, Hammond, it is... Yeah, well, us, but it is made for people,
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- exclusively for people, who make a noise when they sit down.- Eh?
0:17:28 > 0:17:31You go to a Jag dealership to buy that and they'll say,
0:17:31 > 0:17:33"Mr May, take a seat." And you go, "Oh, thank you.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35"Ahhhh. Yes!"
0:17:35 > 0:17:41- Sold!- Oh, God...- That car is for people who watch TV OR text.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42Not both at the same time.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46You do realise you two are now officially the oldest
0:17:46 > 0:17:48people in the world!
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Hammond, we can't all be 36 forever, mate.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55I like it, I'm sticking with it.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57- Shall we move on?- Yes!
0:17:57 > 0:18:02Because tonight we are involved in an epic drive across the western United States in a Lexus LFA,
0:18:02 > 0:18:06an Aston Martin Vanquish and the mighty Viper.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Yes, and when we left the action earlier we were with
0:18:08 > 0:18:13the Las Vegas Police Department, taking part in some drag racing.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17The idea being that if you race on the track, you won't feel inclined
0:18:17 > 0:18:20to race between the traffic lights out on the streets.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22So, had it worked?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Ahhhh!
0:18:53 > 0:18:57You know we're supposed to have got this out of our system, don't you?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59We've been on the awareness course.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05'A long journey lay ahead. So, we decided to annoy Jeremy.'
0:19:05 > 0:19:09Just to let you know, my iPod's working really well in the car,
0:19:09 > 0:19:10how about yours?
0:19:10 > 0:19:13No, I don't have an iPod connector in here.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16I suppose, yeah,
0:19:16 > 0:19:20it'd be a bit much to ask for that on a £340,000 car, wouldn't it(?)
0:19:20 > 0:19:23I would imagine it would be there, my simple hick car has got...
0:19:23 > 0:19:25You can Bluetooth your iPhone to it.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Jeremy, is there anything else you haven't got that any reasonable,
0:19:28 > 0:19:30modern car should have?
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Er, not really.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Don't say cup-holders.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Have you got a cup-holder?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39No, I haven't got a cup-holder.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42What a tragic oversight.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44I think Lexus were concentrating
0:19:44 > 0:19:49so hard on building the perfect car, they forgot that occasionally
0:19:49 > 0:19:52you might need to go somewhere in it and need a cup-holder
0:19:52 > 0:19:55and an iPod connector and a seat belt that does up more easily
0:19:55 > 0:19:59than this one, which doesn't do up easily at all if you're a bit...
0:19:59 > 0:20:00fat.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02I've got a meter that tells me
0:20:02 > 0:20:05how much torque my engine is producing at any given moment.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Have you got one of those?
0:20:06 > 0:20:10I absolutely haven't got one of those and I'm very, very pleased about it.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Oh, God, Hammond,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14the back of your car lights up with a stupid viper when you break.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17- Ahh! - CLARKSON LAUGHS
0:20:17 > 0:20:20That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen!
0:20:20 > 0:20:22That isn't just a viper, that is a Stryker,
0:20:22 > 0:20:24it's the emblem of this car.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27I'm going to crash into you trying to get a closer look
0:20:27 > 0:20:28at your novelty item.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36'As we cruised at a steady 55 towards California,
0:20:36 > 0:20:39'Jeremy discovered yet another problem with the Lexus.'
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Would you mind awfully if we stopped for petrol? I need some.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I've got more than half a tank.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48So have I.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51It is quite a small tank.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57'In a town famous for having the tallest thermometer in the world,
0:20:57 > 0:21:00'I spent three pounds filling the Zippo in the Lexus
0:21:00 > 0:21:04'and then bought Hammond some fuel for his car.'
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Oh... May?
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- Yeah?- This is the right fuel for a Viper, isn't it?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- Looks like it.- Funny(!)
0:21:12 > 0:21:14- Well, we can't get it in the tank. - Funny(!)
0:21:14 > 0:21:16You know what you've done?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19You haven't got unleaded wood, that's why it won't go in the slot.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- Is it charcoal we need?- Yeah. - I'm sorry, mate.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Never mind. Thank you.- I'll go and change it for some charcoal.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30'While I did that, Hammond kindly solved the LFA's cup-holder problem.'
0:21:43 > 0:21:45They haven't put sugar in it!
0:21:47 > 0:21:50'After the pit stop, the producers told us
0:21:50 > 0:21:54'to report to a racetrack called Willow Springs.'
0:21:54 > 0:21:58Er, right. I'm going to try a sat nav test. Here we go. Use my mouse.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02You actually get a mouse in one of these. Destination, click.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Apparently it's calling someone.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09- 'Lexus Inform.'- It is.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11'This is Anita. Where would you like to go today?'
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Er, Willow Springs Raceway.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17'Just a moment and I can help you with that.'
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- No...- 'Let me just get that plugged in for you.'
0:22:21 > 0:22:25And then can you make that come onto my screen in the car?
0:22:25 > 0:22:29'Absolutely, I'm going to download it to your navigation for you
0:22:29 > 0:22:31'instead of you putting it in yourself.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33'Is there anything else I can help with?'
0:22:33 > 0:22:38Er, no, I'm so staggered. That's amazing, thank you very much.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41'You're welcome.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43'Definitely call us 24/7 as many times as you need
0:22:43 > 0:22:46'and we will help you out, OK?'
0:22:49 > 0:22:52'In fact, I called her back immediately.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56'And she suggested we stop off at a nearby tourist attraction.'
0:22:58 > 0:23:01What they've done here is, you will note,
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- is fitted grooves at intervals along the road.- Right.
0:23:04 > 0:23:09So, as you drive over them, your tyres make a noise.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11They play a note.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15- Really?- This road is musical.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17- Is it?- It's musical.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- Really?- It plays a tune as you drive...
0:23:20 > 0:23:25'As James has a music degree, we sent him out to test it.'
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Here we go.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33VAGUELY MUSICAL NOTES RING OUT
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Is that a tune?
0:23:40 > 0:23:44I think that was supposed to be the William Tell Overture.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Jeremy then had another idea.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53If I reverse, will it play a message from the devil?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55This often happens in rock and roll.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59What a numpty.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03To make the tune go backwards, you can still drive the car forwards.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Yeah... Never mind.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Yes.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09It's telling me Paul McCartney's dead
0:24:09 > 0:24:12because he wasn't wearing any shoes or socks.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16RICHARD SIGHS
0:24:25 > 0:24:28'Having decided the musical road might be a bit annoying
0:24:28 > 0:24:33'if you live near it, we continued onwards and eventually arrived
0:24:33 > 0:24:35'at Willow Springs.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43'We were keen to take on this amazing race complex
0:24:43 > 0:24:45'in the high desert of California.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48'But the producers had other ideas.'
0:24:50 > 0:24:51Thank you.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57"You will be familiar with a game called laser quest."
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- That's that one...- It's like paintballing but with lasers.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02You have a jacket that's got laser receptors on it
0:25:02 > 0:25:05and it registers when you've been hit. Yes, I know that. What?
0:25:05 > 0:25:08"You will now play aerial laser quest."
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- How does that...?- Well, hang on.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13"Your cars have been fitted with laser receptors.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15"You will drive five laps of the track
0:25:15 > 0:25:20"while two fighter planes, fitted with laser guns, shoot at you.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23"The winner will be the one who is least shot."
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- Fighter planes with laser guns? - What planes?- Are they model planes?
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Are they remote control?
0:25:31 > 0:25:32'They weren't.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38'In fact, they were Italian Marchettis.
0:25:38 > 0:25:44'Fast, agile, armed and flown today by two hotshot dog fighters.'
0:25:46 > 0:25:48- PILOT:- Orbiting to the north...
0:25:51 > 0:25:56'With our laser sensors activated, we set off at 30-second intervals.'
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Tally ho, tally ho, chaps.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Stand clear, I'm going to go for the Aston on the straight.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11They're after him already. Kill him! Kill him!
0:26:13 > 0:26:14LASERS FIRE
0:26:14 > 0:26:16I missed.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Let's just try sheer speed for a bit.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Bit of braking might fox him there.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31- LASERS FIRE - Oh, no!
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Oh, Captain Slow.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36You're going to need to do better than that, my friend.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Big speed coming up, 140!
0:26:38 > 0:26:42That's nothing to those planes, they could just reel me.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46OK.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49OK. We're going to go for the Lexus.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53Trying to shoot this car from a plane like that, I'm sorry,
0:26:53 > 0:26:57it's like trying to swat a fly with a drinking straw.
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Not going to happen.
0:27:04 > 0:27:05LASERS FIRE
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Oh, no!
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Bingo! Lex is dead.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- LASERS FIRE - I'm hit again!
0:27:16 > 0:27:20They're just shooting at me because my car's Japanese!
0:27:20 > 0:27:21LASERS FIRE
0:27:21 > 0:27:24- It's racism.- Sorry, Jeremy.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27'There was only one thing for it.'
0:27:27 > 0:27:31'Lexus Inform, this is Cheryl, where would you like to go today?'
0:27:31 > 0:27:34I'm being attacked by fighter planes!
0:27:34 > 0:27:37- 'I'm sorry, can you repeat that?' - Yes, I'm being attacked.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40There are fighter planes and I'm trying to get away from them.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Do you have any suggestions?
0:27:44 > 0:27:48'She didn't. And as a result, the game became a turkey shoot.'
0:27:48 > 0:27:51LASERS FIRE RAPIDLY
0:27:53 > 0:27:54What?!
0:27:54 > 0:27:55No!
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Argh!
0:27:57 > 0:27:59- Lexus dead. - Hamster is dead.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00Bingo, Viper's dead.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05Oh, there's Viper.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09No, no, no, another hit for me!
0:28:09 > 0:28:10My God, they got Ginger.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12LASERS FIRE
0:28:12 > 0:28:14Smoke!
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Smoke!
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Oh, they're going in for the kill, I can see him zooming down.
0:28:24 > 0:28:29TENDER ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
0:28:43 > 0:28:46'To be honest, we weren't enjoying the relentless slaughter.'
0:28:46 > 0:28:48TENDER MUSIC ENDS
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Under attack, under attack.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52'But we were at least loving our cars.'
0:28:52 > 0:28:53Oh!
0:28:54 > 0:28:58The guts of this car are what make it unbelievable on track.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01Just hauls ass.
0:29:01 > 0:29:03LASERS FIRE
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Jinking, jinking.
0:29:05 > 0:29:06And brake!
0:29:10 > 0:29:12Oh, that just feels tremendous.
0:29:12 > 0:29:17LASER FIRE CONTINUES
0:29:17 > 0:29:23The word immediate was invented for the throttle response on this car.
0:29:25 > 0:29:29And the steering. And the gearbox. And every single thing about it.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33Ha-ha! Look at that.
0:29:33 > 0:29:37'But though our cars were good, the planes were better.'
0:29:37 > 0:29:40- LASERS FIRE - Oh, my God, how did he get me there?
0:29:40 > 0:29:45'So, 26 laps into the 5-lap event, we decided to get cunning.'
0:29:50 > 0:29:55You see? Ha-ha, where am I now then, plane? You can't see me.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57HE LAUGHS LASERS FIRE
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Invisi... Oh, he's got me. Bugger!
0:30:02 > 0:30:06What I've done is, I've hidden near the hills, behind a bucket.
0:30:08 > 0:30:12See, this is the ingenuity that marks me aside.
0:30:15 > 0:30:16LASERS FIRE
0:30:16 > 0:30:17Oh, what?!
0:30:17 > 0:30:19TYRES SCREECH
0:30:19 > 0:30:24Cunning wasn't working, so we did what we do best - panic.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31- Hammond, you're going the wrong way. - You're going the wrong way!
0:30:34 > 0:30:36Who's going the wrong way?
0:30:36 > 0:30:37Oh, I'm going the wrong way!
0:30:37 > 0:30:40- LASERS FIRE - Agh! No!
0:30:42 > 0:30:43What?!
0:30:45 > 0:30:46Ah, a bonus.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48LASERS FIRE No!
0:30:48 > 0:30:52'Fading light eventually brought the massacre to an end.'
0:30:54 > 0:30:57There's a lot of bullet holes on those cars down there.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:31:05 > 0:31:08- I liked that day. - That was a lot of fun.
0:31:08 > 0:31:09I really did.
0:31:09 > 0:31:13Can I just say, have you ever, in your entire lives,
0:31:13 > 0:31:17- seen aircraft flying lower or faster than that?- No. To be honest, no.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20- I haven't. It's amazing.- They were just six feet off the deck.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22Can I just bring us towards the meat of the thing here?
0:31:22 > 0:31:26Which is, I can now reveal, I was hit 23 times.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29A-ha! 17 times.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33LAUGHTER
0:31:33 > 0:31:36- Come on then.- What? - How many times where you hit?
0:31:36 > 0:31:39- I can't remember. - Yes, you can. Come on.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42CLARKSON MURMURS EVASIVELY
0:31:42 > 0:31:43- How many?- 48.
0:31:43 > 0:31:4748?! So you lost... LAUGHTER
0:31:47 > 0:31:50- It was racism.- Really? Racism?
0:31:50 > 0:31:53Either way, you lost. The pilots told me as well that, James,
0:31:53 > 0:31:56you only won because every time they went into a strafing dive
0:31:56 > 0:31:59to hit us, they had to anticipate where the car would be.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02And every time your car was considerably further back
0:32:02 > 0:32:04than they'd expected it to be.
0:32:04 > 0:32:08- True. They said they couldn't hit you because you were driving too slowly.- Really?- They did.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11Well, as I've said many times before, gentlemen,
0:32:11 > 0:32:15he who is last shall be first, and so it turns out.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18So the Baby Jesus had a point?
0:32:18 > 0:32:22Anyway, it is now time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25My guest tonight is a member of a popular ensemble where all
0:32:25 > 0:32:28the members find each other very irritating.
0:32:28 > 0:32:30- Oh, imagine that(!)- Quite.
0:32:30 > 0:32:34Ladies and gentlemen, from Fleetwood Mac, it is the man himself,
0:32:34 > 0:32:35Mick Fleetwood.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Holy moly!
0:32:41 > 0:32:46You're here! How are you? Mick Fleetwood has come to Top Gear.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48RAUCOUS CHEERING
0:32:50 > 0:32:53- We sit?- Yes, have a seat, please.
0:32:54 > 0:32:58- Lord have mercy. - I've gone nervous.- Oh, my God.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01Only Roger Daltrey sat on that side of the sofa.
0:33:01 > 0:33:05It's obviously a rock thing. No, that's lovely too. You choose.
0:33:05 > 0:33:06Or I can be just big.
0:33:06 > 0:33:10- It's nice to have someone who is the right height.- There you go.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13We'll get on to your amazing car history in a minute
0:33:13 > 0:33:15but if I may, I want to talk about Rumours
0:33:15 > 0:33:18cos this is one of my absolute all-time favourite albums.
0:33:18 > 0:33:22- How many have been sold over the years?- Billions. No...
0:33:22 > 0:33:24LAUGHTER
0:33:24 > 0:33:27A lot. Getting on for 50 million copies or so, yeah.
0:33:27 > 0:33:3050 million copies?! I think, for me,
0:33:30 > 0:33:34the most amazing thing about Rumours is that it got made at all.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37Because I think I'm right in saying, I mean,
0:33:37 > 0:33:39people think of The Who and Keith Moon in particular
0:33:39 > 0:33:43and Led Zeppelin and what have you, there was some excess there.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46But when it came to excess, Fleetwood Mac were really,
0:33:46 > 0:33:49as far as I can work out, in a class of their own.
0:33:49 > 0:33:53Don't get me wrong, we were definitely in the top ten,
0:33:53 > 0:33:56I would say, if not more.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58But I think the romance of that
0:33:58 > 0:34:00and the drama of that became out of control,
0:34:00 > 0:34:02mainly because we were stupid enough,
0:34:02 > 0:34:07and somewhat irresponsible, to be too open about our dirty laundry.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09You were talking in public.
0:34:09 > 0:34:14But it wasn't just the drugs either. It was, as far as I can work out,
0:34:14 > 0:34:18- the band was just made up of people who were fighting at that time.- Yes.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20We've got a photograph here of the band.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23So there's you, in the middle, OK, the drummer.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26And then we've got an American couple who really didn't get on,
0:34:26 > 0:34:28they were falling out during the recording.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32- And a British couple.- Yes.- Who were going through the same problems.
0:34:32 > 0:34:36Now, the songs that they were writing about each other
0:34:36 > 0:34:37were genuinely about each other.
0:34:37 > 0:34:43- So, Stevie wrote Dreams, which was about her boyfriend Lindsey.- Yeah.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46- And then he wrote You Can Go Your Own Way.- Yes.
0:34:46 > 0:34:50- I know where you're going with this. - I think it's phenomenal.
0:34:50 > 0:34:54The worst one was, was it Christine wrote the song of John, her husband?
0:34:54 > 0:34:57- Er, yes.- She did You Make Loving Fun and he must have thought,
0:34:57 > 0:35:01"Lovely song," but she was writing about the lighting engineer she was having an affair with.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03This is true. LAUGHTER
0:35:03 > 0:35:07Are you starting to feel even vaguely sorry for me?
0:35:08 > 0:35:11It was unbelievably awkward in the studio
0:35:11 > 0:35:15because Lindsey would save the vocals until all the recording
0:35:15 > 0:35:17was done because he knew Dan well.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20If he starts singing all the lines you're talking about
0:35:20 > 0:35:22with Stevie standing there, she'd walk out.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24- But the worst thing is... - Quite clever.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26It is, for getting the album down,
0:35:26 > 0:35:30but then if you have to take it on tour, poor old Stevie, all of them,
0:35:30 > 0:35:32have to perform these songs about,
0:35:32 > 0:35:35- "I've got a small penis and I'm better off..."- Yes.
0:35:35 > 0:35:36Because I'm just thinking,
0:35:36 > 0:35:39if we ever put a band together on Top Gear, I could write a song
0:35:39 > 0:35:43called I Am A Crashing Bore and then get James May to perform it.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Awww.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48Then James could write one, I'm An Irritating Little Brummie,
0:35:48 > 0:35:50and for 40 years Hammond would have to go along,
0:35:50 > 0:35:54"I really don't like doing this." Because that's what Rumours is.
0:35:54 > 0:35:55No doubt.
0:35:55 > 0:36:00That experience in the studio was so horrendous, emotionally,
0:36:00 > 0:36:04and the music was great and we all aspired to... We didn't ever think
0:36:04 > 0:36:08of walking out because we were so into what we were doing.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11Became the glue that if we got through that,
0:36:11 > 0:36:15we can get through 12 years of high, high-powered,
0:36:15 > 0:36:18which is probably 12-15 years, we didn't stop doing anything.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Literally on the road, in the studio...
0:36:20 > 0:36:25- Cos you are still all together. - We are, yeah.- We must get onto cars.
0:36:25 > 0:36:26- We must get onto cars.- Ah.
0:36:26 > 0:36:30- You live on the Pacific island of Maui.- I do. Yeah.- OK.
0:36:30 > 0:36:34You are a rock god, an incredibly successful musician.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37And you drive a...
0:36:37 > 0:36:40My most cherished car is an Austin 7.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42And we... This is... We're not...
0:36:42 > 0:36:45- This is a picture of you with it that we have here.- Oh, yeah.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47How did you come by that?
0:36:47 > 0:36:51Many, many, many years ago, I probably was like 19.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54A friend of mine had a flat in Earls Court.
0:36:54 > 0:36:58I get off the tube and there was this little car,
0:36:58 > 0:37:01I kept walking by it, month after month after month,
0:37:01 > 0:37:02and I fell in love with the car.
0:37:02 > 0:37:07And one time I left a note on the car, said,
0:37:07 > 0:37:10"If ever you fancy selling this,
0:37:10 > 0:37:12"I would love to give this car a home."
0:37:12 > 0:37:17And then about 18 months later we happened to be starting to do fairly well.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19My mum, which was the phone number I had left,
0:37:19 > 0:37:22got a phone call from the guy, who said,
0:37:22 > 0:37:27"I'm moving and I want a home for my little car." And I bought it.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29- And you've still got it now?- Yeah.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32But I presume that all the way through these late '70s
0:37:32 > 0:37:35and '80s, obviously, you were in a limo, so where was that?
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Well, that was part of those years
0:37:38 > 0:37:40when you're not quite sure what happened.
0:37:40 > 0:37:41LAUGHTER
0:37:43 > 0:37:46And I went with the band to the United States,
0:37:46 > 0:37:49which was probably 15 or 16 years.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52Eric Clapton was then my brother-in-law.
0:37:52 > 0:37:58- I said, would you look after - it was called Lettuce Leaf.- The car was?
0:37:58 > 0:38:02By my children, it was Lettuce Leaf, so it was always Lettuce Leaf.
0:38:02 > 0:38:05He said, sure, we'll put it in the barn, and that was it.
0:38:05 > 0:38:09And years later, I got a call from Eric's manager saying,
0:38:09 > 0:38:10"Can we get rid of it?"
0:38:10 > 0:38:14And I didn't realise it had been in his orchard for 15 years
0:38:14 > 0:38:17and was full of birds' nests, had been out in the open.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20It survived and they had it rebuilt,
0:38:20 > 0:38:24and the next time I saw it was in Maui, where I live,
0:38:24 > 0:38:30and us car people, stupid sloppy dates that we tend to be,
0:38:30 > 0:38:34I sort of broke down when I met her at the dock.
0:38:34 > 0:38:35She was just there,
0:38:35 > 0:38:38- in Maui, and I went, "How cool is that?"- I love all that.
0:38:38 > 0:38:43That's exactly what cars are. To me, how fast they go
0:38:43 > 0:38:46- is sort of not relevant, it's how you...- Absolutely.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50I got married to my first wife in that car, and that was my only car.
0:38:50 > 0:38:53Now, presumably, you can't drive Lettuce Leaf all the time,
0:38:53 > 0:38:59- so what...?- I have a 2004 twin turbo Porsche that I like a lot.
0:38:59 > 0:39:04And I had it all tarted up. That's my main car.
0:39:04 > 0:39:06Can you get it going in Maui?
0:39:06 > 0:39:09It's only an island, so there's only three roads, really.
0:39:09 > 0:39:13But there is one that goes right through sugarcane fields
0:39:13 > 0:39:18and you can get up to about 130, 140 miles an hour in certain places,
0:39:18 > 0:39:21- which I confess that I do. - You just have, actually.
0:39:21 > 0:39:22LAUGHTER
0:39:22 > 0:39:25You just did do that. And that's in the Porsche.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28Have you actually ever done any racing?
0:39:28 > 0:39:31Only in the old days, the wicked '80s and early '90s.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34Anybody and everybody was doing it.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37It was an excuse for another party or something,
0:39:37 > 0:39:40and we were all... Half of us were stoned, most of the time.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44- LAUGHTER - So what was it like out there today?
0:39:44 > 0:39:46Better than last week, when it was snowing.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49Well, I wasn't stoned, so that's good.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Who would like to see Mick's lap?
0:39:52 > 0:39:54- AUDIENCE:- Yeah!
0:39:54 > 0:39:58- Come on, mate.- Oh, Lord. - Let's have a look.- Oh, God.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Right. Now, you're a drummer,
0:40:02 > 0:40:04and I always associate drummers with being coordinated.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06Don't stop, come on, come on.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10Remember the damn song, you played it for 40 years.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12.."Thinking about tomorrow"! First corner.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15But you think drummers are going to be able to get their hands
0:40:15 > 0:40:19- and their feet...- This was not me, right?- Yep, it sure is.- Into the mud.
0:40:19 > 0:40:23- That's pretty tidy. - Come on, don't pussyfoot it.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28You don't want to go too fast through there,
0:40:28 > 0:40:31you'll just spin wide. That looks quite tidy as well.
0:40:33 > 0:40:37Glad I had those brown underpants on, I can tell you that much.
0:40:37 > 0:40:38LAUGHTER
0:40:38 > 0:40:41What a beautiful looking day out there it is today.
0:40:41 > 0:40:47- It's going to go wrong any second, right?- No, look at that! Bang on.
0:40:48 > 0:40:51And up now towards the follow-through.
0:40:52 > 0:40:58- Full power.- Full power, yes, yes, yes, yes. Power it. Power!
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Come on!
0:41:01 > 0:41:08Cut it, cut it. Yes. This is the tricky one. And that is nicely cut.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11And into Gambon...
0:41:11 > 0:41:15And no big dramas there, and across the line!
0:41:15 > 0:41:16APPLAUSE
0:41:18 > 0:41:22Now, that looked tidy. But was it fast?
0:41:24 > 0:41:31- Whereabouts do you think you've come?- Oh, I dread to think.- No idea?
0:41:32 > 0:41:36- I hope I'm not in the last 10. - You're not.
0:41:36 > 0:41:40Because, Mick Fleetwood, you did it in 1...
0:41:41 > 0:41:47..45.4. And that...
0:41:47 > 0:41:49APPLAUSE
0:41:49 > 0:41:50..puts you...
0:41:53 > 0:41:56..between the wizard and bassist in Blur.
0:41:59 > 0:42:03Now, wait a minute. I always try to look for some good news there.
0:42:03 > 0:42:07- How old are you? If that's not...- I'm 65. Yeah, 65.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10So, you are, without any question or shadow of doubt,
0:42:10 > 0:42:13the fastest pensioner we've ever had.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:42:19 > 0:42:22I've been looking forward to you coming down ever since
0:42:22 > 0:42:24we knew this series was coming back,
0:42:24 > 0:42:26and it's just for me been an enormous pleasure.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28Ladies and gentlemen, Mick Fleetwood!
0:42:28 > 0:42:30APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:42:38 > 0:42:43Tonight we're driving across America in three GT cars - the Lexus LFA,
0:42:43 > 0:42:48the Aston Martin Vanquish, and the SRT Viper.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51So far, we have established that none of them
0:42:51 > 0:42:53is a match for a GP modified Mitsubishi
0:42:53 > 0:42:56and that all three have been beaten by fighter planes.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59So, nothing of any practical value whatsoever.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02But maybe that will change in Los Angeles.
0:43:14 > 0:43:18'For a genuine, real-world test, Hammond decided
0:43:18 > 0:43:21'we should head for one of the city's famous storm drains.'
0:43:22 > 0:43:23Tell you what,
0:43:23 > 0:43:27I bet I can leave longer elevenses in this then you can in yours.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30What, you mean black marks on the road from wheel spinning?
0:43:30 > 0:43:33Yes, wheel spinning starts, leave elevenses.
0:43:33 > 0:43:36- I can do a longer elevenses than you. - No, you can't.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38- I'll be the adjudicator. - You can be the adjudicator
0:43:38 > 0:43:41because I'm going to demonstrate something to you now.
0:43:42 > 0:43:46Three, two, one and go.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58- I'd say that was a dead heat.- Yeah.
0:43:58 > 0:44:03'So, Hammond suggested we should see who could do the best doughnuts.'
0:44:08 > 0:44:10Skid!
0:44:10 > 0:44:11Doing a big skid now.
0:44:12 > 0:44:16'Many Hollywood scenes have been filmed here over the years,
0:44:16 > 0:44:20'but none has ever looked or sounded quite as bovine as this.
0:44:20 > 0:44:23'And none has ever caused quite so much damage.'
0:44:29 > 0:44:33- Suggestions? I mean, running away, obviously.- That's where I was going.
0:44:33 > 0:44:39- Running away, really.- How far should we run away?- Quite a long way.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43- And how soon?- Now.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50I can't get my seatbelt on.
0:44:52 > 0:44:53Get in!
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Running.
0:44:59 > 0:45:00Running away.
0:45:02 > 0:45:05Desperate times call for desperate measures.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08'Lexus, this is Sonia, where would you like to go today?'
0:45:08 > 0:45:12Yes, hello, I've accidentally painted a gentleman's sausage
0:45:12 > 0:45:14on a storm drain.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16- 'Oh, my.'- I need to run away.
0:45:19 > 0:45:25'The lovely lady suggested Palm Springs, which was 110 miles away.
0:45:25 > 0:45:29'So we settled down and thought a little bit about our cars.'
0:45:31 > 0:45:33Let's have a quick recap.
0:45:33 > 0:45:37This Aston has the most charismatic engine,
0:45:37 > 0:45:41it's the most tasteful and it was the least shot.
0:45:41 > 0:45:45Ask yourself, honestly, from watching this programme,
0:45:45 > 0:45:49which of these cars you take if you were to drive across America,
0:45:49 > 0:45:52across Europe, across Siberia.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54It doesn't matter. It's this one.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00I said at the beginning of this trip that I had a feeling
0:46:00 > 0:46:05I might fall for the Viper, and I have. It's won me over completely.
0:46:05 > 0:46:08It doesn't have the aluminium accents inside of the Aston,
0:46:08 > 0:46:10or the computers of the Lexus,
0:46:10 > 0:46:12but it's done everything we've asked of it on this journey,
0:46:12 > 0:46:18and it's done everything with its own particular style, its own attitude.
0:46:18 > 0:46:21And let's not forget, at a fraction of the price of the other two,
0:46:21 > 0:46:23this is the plucky underdog here.
0:46:25 > 0:46:29If somebody were to offer me a choice of any car that had
0:46:29 > 0:46:33ever been made, ever, I would take a dark blue LFA.
0:46:33 > 0:46:37That's how much I love this thing. I mean, yes, there are faults.
0:46:37 > 0:46:42The petrol tank is too small, the seatbelt is idiotic, and, joking
0:46:42 > 0:46:47aside, I would like a cup holder, but the rest of it is so exquisite.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52I'm going to say it. It's the best car I've ever driven.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55It really is.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01'With all that sorted out,
0:47:01 > 0:47:03'we opened the taps and headed into Palm Springs.'
0:47:24 > 0:47:28Men bouncing a ball like a netball. Like small girls.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30The man is going to catch the ball and then throw it.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33And they score so many goals, nobody reacts when they get a goal.
0:47:33 > 0:47:37Because it happens every 35 seconds.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39You can't really tackle someone, can you?
0:47:39 > 0:47:42- Erm...- Can they not take the ball...?- Gentlemen, gentlemen.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44JEREMY CLEARS THROAT
0:47:44 > 0:47:47Haven't we finished?
0:47:52 > 0:47:54"We think you should run away more.
0:47:54 > 0:47:57"Tomorrow morning, at precisely 8 o'clock,
0:47:57 > 0:47:59"you will race to the border."
0:47:59 > 0:48:00What border?
0:48:00 > 0:48:03You're not going to like this.
0:48:03 > 0:48:06"The last to arrive will cross into Mexico...
0:48:08 > 0:48:10"..and spend a few days road testing the Mastretta sports car
0:48:10 > 0:48:14"for a forthcoming item on the show."
0:48:14 > 0:48:21The Mastretta is the one that started a bit of trouble for us.
0:48:21 > 0:48:23When we spoke about it on the news on the show,
0:48:23 > 0:48:26the Mexicans took an exception to some of the things we said.
0:48:26 > 0:48:30- They hate us in Mexico.- Don't want to go to Mexico.- No, they hate us.
0:48:31 > 0:48:35'We told Hammond we'd get an early night.
0:48:35 > 0:48:37'But we didn't.'
0:48:37 > 0:48:39Right, James and I have had a bit of a discussion,
0:48:39 > 0:48:43and we've decided that since it was Hammond that caused all
0:48:43 > 0:48:45the problems, Hammond should lose this.
0:48:45 > 0:48:46So what have you got in mind, James?
0:48:46 > 0:48:48Well, what I've got in mind, Jeremy,
0:48:48 > 0:48:51or rather in my pocket, is a couple of bananas.
0:48:51 > 0:48:52Because I've seen this in a film,
0:48:52 > 0:48:54I thought we could put a banana in the tailpipe.
0:48:54 > 0:48:56A banana in the tailpipe. Let's do it.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59What this does is prevent the car from exhausting
0:48:59 > 0:49:03and the back pressure builds up in the engine, and then it stops.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06'Annoyingly, the Viper's exhaust was so big
0:49:06 > 0:49:09'we had to substitute the bananas with a selection of other fruits.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12'And then Clarkson had another idea.'
0:49:12 > 0:49:15If we pop his seat all the way back, yes?
0:49:16 > 0:49:19It also has electric pedals, this thing, yes?
0:49:19 > 0:49:21So if we make the pedals go all the way forwards,
0:49:21 > 0:49:27- the seat all the way back, and then take the fuse out...- Yes!
0:49:28 > 0:49:32'Having stolen the fuses for the seat and the pedals,
0:49:32 > 0:49:36'we then disconnected two of the V10's HT leads.'
0:49:36 > 0:49:40- He's got a V8 motor, he's got...- No pedal movement.
0:49:40 > 0:49:44- No pedal movement, seat's fully back.- That'll do.
0:49:48 > 0:49:52'At precisely 8.07 the following morning, the race began.'
0:49:54 > 0:49:56- Get back!- Get back!
0:49:56 > 0:50:01- The Lexus.- The Viper! - The Lexus, the Lexus. It's there!
0:50:01 > 0:50:03That's mine, that's mine.
0:50:06 > 0:50:09Oh, funny! I can't... What are you...?
0:50:09 > 0:50:12Oh, no!
0:50:13 > 0:50:16Oh, this seatbelt is going to be the death of me.
0:50:18 > 0:50:21Oh, nice(!) Thank you! Nice.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25Just for the record, and in case this goes terribly wrong,
0:50:25 > 0:50:28I said I didn't like Mexican food, and what I meant was,
0:50:28 > 0:50:31I don't like refried beans and cheese.
0:50:31 > 0:50:34That's all. It's all Hammond's fault.
0:50:35 > 0:50:38Funny, funny, also funny. Thank you(!)
0:50:38 > 0:50:40Right, we live in a cartoon, really(!)
0:50:40 > 0:50:42ENGINE GROWLS
0:50:43 > 0:50:45That's not right.
0:50:47 > 0:50:50The problem is that Richard Hammond may be stupid
0:50:50 > 0:50:54and a rampant racist, but he is quite practical.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57He'll have that car put back together again in about five
0:50:57 > 0:50:59minutes - it would take me a year.
0:50:59 > 0:51:01Ah! It's an HT lead off.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04One...two.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06Right. I will kill them.
0:51:06 > 0:51:08I'm going to kill them.
0:51:08 > 0:51:10If the Mexicans don't, I shall.
0:51:14 > 0:51:17'As Hammond began his hate-fuelled charge,
0:51:17 > 0:51:21'Jeremy and I were bogged down in downtown Palm Springs.'
0:51:23 > 0:51:27So, we've got a retirement community, the rozzers up ahead,
0:51:27 > 0:51:30there's nothing I can do. 40 miles an hour.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36I lost, I don't know, 10 minutes. Maybe more.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Jeremy's got to stop for fuel.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41He'll never get that done in under five minutes.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44I have to hope James gets lost or dawdles.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50What's really unfair about this race is that
0:51:50 > 0:51:56I wasn't particularly rude about Mexicans, I just made a small joke
0:51:56 > 0:51:58about the Mexican ambassador in London.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01And I've been to see him, I've apologised,
0:52:01 > 0:52:06drunk quite a lot of his tequila, and all is well.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09But the Mexicans don't know that.
0:52:10 > 0:52:13'Once clear of Palm Springs, we faced a choice.
0:52:13 > 0:52:16'Take the road to the east of the Salton Sea, which was longer
0:52:16 > 0:52:21'but should be quiet, or go on the freeway and pray it wasn't too busy.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23'I went for the freeway.'
0:52:25 > 0:52:27Take me to victory, Aston Martin.
0:52:31 > 0:52:34'Whilst, stupidly, Jeremy went for the longer route.'
0:52:36 > 0:52:40106 miles to the border and my range is...
0:52:42 > 0:52:44..104.
0:52:46 > 0:52:48Ohhhh.
0:52:48 > 0:52:50So now I've got a choice.
0:52:50 > 0:52:56Do I drive slowly and increase the range, or drive fast and fill up?
0:52:59 > 0:53:00That one.
0:53:02 > 0:53:03I'm having him.
0:53:05 > 0:53:09Jeremy can't be going this fast on that mountain road, surely.
0:53:11 > 0:53:14'Sorry, James, it wasn't a mountain road, which meant that once
0:53:14 > 0:53:20'more, thanks to editing trickery, I could get up to 55 miles an hour.'
0:53:23 > 0:53:25I'm in an American road movie now.
0:53:28 > 0:53:32'Feeling pleased with my choice of route, I called Mr Angry.'
0:53:32 > 0:53:33RINGING TONE
0:53:33 > 0:53:38- Hammond.- You utter, utter- BLEEP.- Where are you?
0:53:38 > 0:53:43I'm on the east side, on the most amazing road I've ever found.
0:53:43 > 0:53:47- Oh, God.- Have you seen James?
0:53:47 > 0:53:51No, I'm on the other road, the other side of the water.
0:53:51 > 0:53:52So he should be ahead of me
0:53:52 > 0:53:57- if he's gone this way, or...- James is on your side of the lake.
0:53:57 > 0:54:01So he must be on this road then. Right, I'm going to reel him in.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12In fact, at this point, we all had the hammer down.
0:54:12 > 0:54:13HE CHUCKLES
0:54:18 > 0:54:2551 miles to go. 30 miles of range.
0:54:27 > 0:54:31Come on, Aston. Where the hell is Hammond? Is he catching me?
0:54:34 > 0:54:37Right, 60 miles. And no sign of James.
0:54:37 > 0:54:40I'm just praying to see a speck of blue up ahead.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43I've got to be in front of Jeremy, there's no way he can do it.
0:54:43 > 0:54:45He's got to stop for fuel.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50# Stand by your man... #
0:54:52 > 0:54:55I don't know what that is, but that's all it's having.
0:54:57 > 0:55:01'To find out what damage the fuel stop had done, I called May.'
0:55:03 > 0:55:05- Clarkson.- May, where are you?
0:55:05 > 0:55:06I have got to the bottom of the lake
0:55:06 > 0:55:09and I'm just coming into the small town...
0:55:09 > 0:55:13Oh, no, I think you're ahead of me. Has Hammond caught you up?
0:55:13 > 0:55:17Hammond is behind me, but only by a few miles.
0:55:17 > 0:55:21Argh! That means he's probably ahead of me.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24'But the race wasn't done yet.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27'Because at the bottom of the lake there were three routes to
0:55:27 > 0:55:30'the finish line in the border town of Calexico.
0:55:30 > 0:55:34'And none of us had any idea which would be the fastest.'
0:55:35 > 0:55:38Jeremy will go on the 111. He has to,
0:55:38 > 0:55:42because he's come from that side, he will get to that one first.
0:55:42 > 0:55:48I get to the 86 first, but is it quicker? I just don't know. Oh, God.
0:55:48 > 0:55:50What would Hammond do?
0:55:52 > 0:55:57Right, this road takes me straight through Calexico to the border.
0:55:57 > 0:55:59I think this is the quickest.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02I think James has gone a different route,
0:56:02 > 0:56:04this is where I'm going to take him.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08Please, God, don't let me be last.
0:56:10 > 0:56:14A big drive-through dentist there, hopefully Hammond will stop at that.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20Four miles, come on, come on, come on, come on.
0:56:22 > 0:56:27Coming into town now. This all looks decidedly Mexican now.
0:56:27 > 0:56:29Which is to say brilliant, very nice.
0:56:31 > 0:56:32Oh, God.
0:56:32 > 0:56:34Traffic lights.
0:56:36 > 0:56:38Oh, God, and the rozzers are behind me.
0:56:40 > 0:56:42Fifth Street, yes. Does it go to Mexico?
0:56:42 > 0:56:44Where is the border crossing?
0:56:46 > 0:56:49Can't get lost right now. Mess it all up at the end.
0:56:51 > 0:56:53Border, border, border.
0:57:09 > 0:57:11HE CACKLES
0:57:13 > 0:57:15You beauty!
0:57:17 > 0:57:19May or Hammond, which one is going to be eaten?
0:57:21 > 0:57:24'The answer came seconds later.'
0:57:24 > 0:57:28Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:57:33 > 0:57:36- I don't care if you won - is it just you here?- Yep.
0:57:36 > 0:57:38Ho-ho!
0:57:38 > 0:57:41Oh, God, no. No.
0:57:45 > 0:57:47Buenos dias!
0:57:49 > 0:57:51- Is that Mexico there? - That's the border there.
0:57:51 > 0:57:55- Look, it's very simple. - Goodbye.- Bye, thank you so much.
0:57:55 > 0:57:57You're in the United States of America, land of the free.
0:57:57 > 0:58:00There's a big fence, the other side of it, everybody hates you.
0:58:00 > 0:58:02- Bye!- Bye.
0:58:04 > 0:58:07It's a bit like sending Paddington Bear into a mincing machine,
0:58:07 > 0:58:11there is an element of... He looks quite tragic.
0:58:11 > 0:58:13With that, back to the studio.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:58:17 > 0:58:20I think we can probably handle a conclusion on our own.
0:58:20 > 0:58:25- Because the Aston Martin and the Lexus were...- Tremendous.
0:58:25 > 0:58:27They really were, weren't they?
0:58:27 > 0:58:30- And the Viper was...- Awful. - Awful, absolutely.
0:58:30 > 0:58:31So there we are.
0:58:31 > 0:58:35Now, we will be bringing you a review of the Mexican Mastretta
0:58:35 > 0:58:38sports car in a couple of weeks, unless of course in the meantime
0:58:38 > 0:58:42somebody finds a suspiciously white tooth in their taco.
0:58:42 > 0:58:43LAUGHTER
0:58:43 > 0:58:46In which case, we will be showing you a touching tribute to
0:58:46 > 0:58:49the late broadcaster Richard Hammond.
0:58:49 > 0:58:53So, on that potential bombshell, it's now time to end.
0:58:53 > 0:58:55Thank you so much for watching, good night.
0:59:05 > 0:59:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd