0:00:12 > 0:00:14Tonight, I hold up a jar.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17James points at a hill.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Richard eats a sandwich.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:28 > 0:00:35Hello! Hello and welcome! Thank you so much, everybody! Thank you.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38We start tonight with a big and important issue.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40You see, back in 1975,
0:00:40 > 0:00:45just 15% of people aged over 70 had a driving licence.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Today, it's more than 60%, and that means
0:00:49 > 0:00:55the roads are full of people whose eyes are broken and whose feet hurt.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59And car-makers are just not recognising this fact.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Most modern cars are made for techno-savvy teenagers.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Yeah, my mother, she just says all she wants from a car
0:01:05 > 0:01:06is Classic FM and a heater
0:01:06 > 0:01:09and everything else is a waste of money and annoying
0:01:09 > 0:01:11and possibly even dangerous.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Which is why Jeremy and I decided it was time we went out and bought
0:01:14 > 0:01:20a car to modify specially for today's enormous army of pensioner drivers.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25This meant heading to the Top Gear Technology Centre -
0:01:25 > 0:01:29the birthplace of all our great projects.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32And, while Richard went off to buy a car which we could modify,
0:01:32 > 0:01:35I examined the scale of the problem.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41This Volvo has very few buttons, and that's a good thing, but each
0:01:41 > 0:01:46one seems to do 28 different things depending on how you push it.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50What does My Car mean? BLIS? DSTC?
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Collision Warning? Why would you want to turn that off?!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56And look at these - if you're 85,
0:01:56 > 0:01:59these are just out-of-focus hieroglyphics!
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Things were just as bad in this Ford Focus.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09What does Block 5A mean?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11There's literally nothing,
0:02:11 > 0:02:14nothing on here which is old-people friendly.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17"Press source for USB BT line in."
0:02:19 > 0:02:22I'm sure all this makes perfect sense
0:02:22 > 0:02:24to the foetus that designed it,
0:02:24 > 0:02:29but to anyone over 65 it is just incomprehensible gibberish.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33'Before I had a chance to get to grips with the Citroen...'
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- Oh, for- BLEEP- sake! '..Richard was back with the car he'd bought -
0:02:37 > 0:02:42'a Fiat Multipla, famous for having three seats in the front
0:02:42 > 0:02:43'and three in the back.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49'To decide what to do with it, we set up a mood room.'
0:02:49 > 0:02:54GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
0:03:03 > 0:03:07All top designers use rooms like this to put them into
0:03:07 > 0:03:11the actual mind of the customers they're trying to attract.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15So, for example, we have an early vacuum cleaner, a one-bar heater,
0:03:15 > 0:03:18a TV listings magazine, many of which are available,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21with the programmes we want to watch highlighted.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24It really is just like being in James May's front room.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Well, where do you think we got everything from?
0:03:29 > 0:03:33What I'm seeing with every single thing in here
0:03:33 > 0:03:37is simplicity and comfort.
0:03:37 > 0:03:43Comfort on the chair, simplicity of the mop, the kettle, the TV.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Everything is simple.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47It's simple...straightforward and yet,
0:03:47 > 0:03:51in the case of this small sofa, also strangely itchy.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52JEREMY LAUGHS
0:03:52 > 0:03:58After several intense hours in the mood room, we at least knew
0:03:58 > 0:04:02what colour our car should be, so we went off to get some paint.
0:04:06 > 0:04:12Excuse me, you know this machine, can you match the colours of things?
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Yeah, we can try.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17Can you match the colour of this hearing aid, this bit,
0:04:17 > 0:04:20specifically that bit. That is a symphony in beige.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24That's the colour we want. Can it really do that?
0:04:24 > 0:04:28So analyse the colour of the hearing aid. Can it do my left nipple?
0:04:33 > 0:04:35With the paint sorted,
0:04:35 > 0:04:39we went back to the Top Gear Technology Centre to begin work.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46Look at this dash. Speedo - out of focus. Radio - too complicated.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50It's all going to be changed, all of it.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53I've been thinking about safety and not just for the car's occupants.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57So, with that in mind, old people find it very difficult to look around
0:04:57 > 0:04:59when they're reversing - it's just a fact -
0:04:59 > 0:05:02so I'm planning a system for the rear, to help them
0:05:02 > 0:05:08stop reversing into garage walls and lamp posts, their wives.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11I'm also planning much, much bigger door mirrors.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Then, at the front, a radical redesign of the front bumper
0:05:15 > 0:05:18to avoid and minimise expensive bodywork damage.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19I'm thinking.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25After several hours,
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Jeremy's dashboard was beginning to take shape.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Um, airbags.- Yeah.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Dangerous, because you're not allowed to put children in the front seat
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- with them there because they're too delicate.- Yeah.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Old people, they tend to sit quite far forwards even
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- when they're not driving.- And they're just as delicate as children.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52There you go - danger. So I think we get rid of them. Can I have them?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Yeah, I don't need them. - I've got a plan.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56I'll have your airbags out in literally...
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Are you sure this is...? I'm not sure this is...- Yes!
0:05:59 > 0:06:04But the airbag had to be defused by cutting one of the two wires.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Which one do I cut? One presumably sets the bomb off.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- Well, not bomb, but explosives.- Yeah.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- How much explosive is in an airbag? - Quite a lot.- Is there?
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- Is it really a lot? - It is, genuinely it's a lot.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21You can get burns from it. It's a lot.
0:06:21 > 0:06:26- So let's get inside the mind of the man who made it.- He's Italian.- Yeah.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29So if I think it's blue, it's probably brown.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Wait! Yeah, no, you see, brown - that might be what they want you to think.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:06:45 > 0:06:50Wait! Wait. What colours are in the Italian flag?
0:06:50 > 0:06:51None of those.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Ah, you see! It was easy! - I wasn't worried.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- We could just edit all that stuff out.- Yeah.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16While Hammond continued with his safety features, I started
0:07:16 > 0:07:20making a new dashboard and soon had something to show my colleague.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26You know elderly people like to drive quite slowly?
0:07:26 > 0:07:27- Yeah, like James.- Exactly.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29So this is what I've done to get round the problem.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Brilliant - so it only reads 20 even if they're doing 80 miles an hour.
0:07:32 > 0:07:37115! "I'm only doing 17 miles an hour," so they're happy.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40The people stuck behind, whose wives are in labour
0:07:40 > 0:07:44and they have meetings to get to, they're happy. Everybody wins.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48'I was also rather proud of my old-people-friendly rear fog light.'
0:07:48 > 0:07:50This'll be mounted in the car - this is the switch.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53So as soon as it starts a little bit of light drizzle,
0:07:53 > 0:07:55the elderly person turns on the rear fog light
0:07:55 > 0:07:58and then what happens round the back is...
0:07:58 > 0:08:00absolutely nothing at all.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06With the new dash sorted, I started to think about the rear seats and I
0:08:06 > 0:08:10went online to search for an advert I remembered from the early '80s.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14And that's it, that's it! Hammond! Hammond! Come and look at this!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Watch this commercial. Ready?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20It's grand to find a comfortable chair
0:08:20 > 0:08:23when you're getting on a bit or you've got arthritis.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26My niece got this from Shackletons, you know.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- You know!- You know!- You know!
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Shackletons' original high seat.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Never thought it would be so easy to get in and out of.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Shackletons' high seat chair. It's lovely.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Hang on, so you're saying replace that with one of those?
0:08:41 > 0:08:44But they're so easy to get in and out of, YOU KNOW!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47And it is lovely to find a nice, high seat.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51MUSIC: "A-Team" theme
0:08:56 > 0:08:58- Things were better in the old days. - They were.- Fact.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- Oh!- Oh-ho, oh-ho!
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Ohhhh...
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Come on, that is brilliant!
0:09:17 > 0:09:20'Our car was coming along nicely.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24'We removed the Fiat badges, which were a bit foreign,
0:09:24 > 0:09:27'and replaced them with something more appropriate.
0:09:29 > 0:09:35'Hammond softened the suspension and I installed a pet cage.'
0:09:35 > 0:09:37A cat bolted to the roof?
0:09:37 > 0:09:40I'm not bolting the cat, I'm bolting the cat cage to the roof
0:09:40 > 0:09:42and then it'll be up here and I won't get asthma.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45'As I was busy with my cat carrying system,
0:09:45 > 0:09:49'Hammond decided to make some covers for the front seats.'
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Weirdly, I've used this as my inspiration. It's a BAC Mono.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Because it's a track car, it's got no roof or doors or windows,
0:09:57 > 0:10:01so they line the interior with this special material.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02I've got some here.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04In beige, obviously.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08Now, it's quite plush, it feels like suede or even velvet,
0:10:08 > 0:10:11but when it gets wet, here's the strange thing -
0:10:11 > 0:10:13the water just runs off.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Look at that! You'd think it would be ruined, but it just flies away.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19I'm going to use it to make what I shall call inconti seat covers.
0:10:32 > 0:10:38By the evening, our car was almost finished, but we felt a bit strange.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41What's extraordinary about today is that, without James here, there
0:10:41 > 0:10:46have been no arguments, nobody's caught fire, nobody's fallen over.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48We've been like a well-oiled machine
0:10:48 > 0:10:52and I think we've created something really rather brilliant.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54And with that, back to the studio.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:02 > 0:11:05The thing is, I've just got a question, actually.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06What do you do...?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09While we're on the subject of old people, what do you do when you know
0:11:09 > 0:11:14that your mother or father is really too old to be driving any more?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Good question. You can't really say, "Hand over your licence."
0:11:16 > 0:11:19I think that's why our car makes so much sense.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Yeah, and we shall see how it does in a road test later on.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25- What happened to your eye? - Nothing, nothing at all.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28No, because you weren't there with your slap-happy attitude,
0:11:28 > 0:11:31no part of the needle of the sewing machine went in it.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- Not even a tiny...- No, not even a tiny bit.- No. No.- So, the news.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39- You know there's a new Volkswagen Golf?- Yes.- Very nice, actually.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41But in four months there'll be a GTI version of it.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Now, that will have 217 horsepower...
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Or no, actually, it's German - cowpower.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51217 cowpower engine and it's going to be about £25,000.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Thing is, though, there's going to be a rival for this.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58You know the car we looked at last week, the Kia Cee'd, well,
0:11:58 > 0:12:02look at this. This is the... They're calling it the Pro Cee'd GT.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03- I think that looks rather good. - It does.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06And it's two grand less than the Volkswagen.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Nearly three grand less.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10And the thing I like about that is they haven't gone absolutely
0:12:10 > 0:12:14mad with it. It's a 1.6 litre turbo, 200 horsepower, which is...
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- Well, no, it's not horsepower. It's Korean.- It's dogpower, yeah.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Exactly, yeah.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22I tell you what, though, if you don't want to spend that much,
0:12:22 > 0:12:24the reason we bring these hot hatchbacks up
0:12:24 > 0:12:27is, Volkswagen has announced, you know the Up, which we love?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29- It's a great little car. - Really brilliant little car.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32They've announced they're doing a GT version of it here, OK?
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Now, this is going to have 110 horsepower,
0:12:35 > 0:12:38so exactly the same as the original Golf GTI.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41It's smaller than an original Golf GTI, it weighs less than a tonne.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45I reckon that will be epic and it's £13,000!
0:12:45 > 0:12:46No, I think that could be brilliant.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49So if you have ordered a new car for later this year,
0:12:49 > 0:12:53S Class, Lamborghini, whatever it is, cancel your order.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- You want one of those. - You do. That is going to...
0:12:56 > 0:12:57I can't wait to drive that.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- There is another version of the Mini, yet another.- Not another!
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Another one. We needed one in 20 minutes.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06It's out, this month it's on sale. It's called the Paceman, here it is.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09HIGH-PITCHED: Oh, look at it! It's so miserable! Its little face!
0:13:09 > 0:13:12I saw one coming the other way, coming into work the other day,
0:13:12 > 0:13:15and it just looked so catastrophically sad.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19"Morning, it's all awful!
0:13:19 > 0:13:21"I hate being a Mini!
0:13:21 > 0:13:26"I have to sleep outside and a dog weed on my wheel last night.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29"All the big cars steal my petrol money." Look at it!
0:13:29 > 0:13:34Hammond, do that face again. You do look incredibly like it!
0:13:34 > 0:13:35You do look like the...
0:13:35 > 0:13:39LAUGHTER
0:13:39 > 0:13:41It's so depressing! Why have they done that?
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Hey, bad news.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45You know when the Tories came to power they said
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- they were going to up the motorway speed limit to 80?- Yeah.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52Well, the new Transport Secretary who's called something dreary -
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Patrick McLoughlin - has had a rethink.- Oh, God.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58No, he says that he's unlikely to up it to
0:13:58 > 0:14:0580 because in his constituency there's a very bad road where a lot of people get hurt.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Yeah, this is quite interesting, isn't it?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09His constituency is the Derbyshire Dales
0:14:09 > 0:14:12and we had a look at a map and there are no motorways there.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14What this means, ladies and gentlemen,
0:14:14 > 0:14:17is our Transport Secretary in Great Britain
0:14:17 > 0:14:18doesn't know what a motorway is.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21The man is a blithering idiot.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25No, but in all seriousness, you can't really have a Minister
0:14:25 > 0:14:29for Transport who isn't interested in, for example, cars and roads.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32It'd be like making you the Governor of the Bank Of England.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- Don't do that.- No, cos he's not interested in the economy.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37- No, but I could sort it out.- How?
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Well, I could sort out the budget deficit.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Well, I'd find out how much it was
0:14:42 > 0:14:45and then I'd write a cheque for that amount from the Bank Of England.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47He probably has a point! That could do it.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49- Well, maybe he should... - That's economics covered.
0:14:49 > 0:14:54I'd also have minted a £9.99 note to make life easier for shopkeepers.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Can I just say, actually, changing the motorway speed limit
0:14:58 > 0:14:59to 80 miles an hour
0:14:59 > 0:15:02wouldn't actually make a blind bit of difference, would it?
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Because everybody in the outside lane of the motorway is doing 95.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10They are. No, they are. People go, "Everyone does 80 on the motorway,"
0:15:10 > 0:15:12and they don't, they're doing 95 in the outside.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14So all an 80-mph speed limit would do
0:15:14 > 0:15:16is reduce the income from speeding fines,
0:15:16 > 0:15:19cos you're only going to be doing 15 miles an hour over the limit
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- rather than 25.- The fact is
0:15:22 > 0:15:25that on a weekday afternoon - I'm not talking about weekends
0:15:25 > 0:15:27when the roads are clogged up with people in Peugeots
0:15:27 > 0:15:29going to B&Q to buy more hideous decking.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32I'm talking about a weekday afternoon,
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Britain has the best standard of driving
0:15:34 > 0:15:36you'll find anywhere in the world.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39- You're right. I would agree with that.- It's a big claim.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Is it? Right, let's run through the opposition, shall we?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44The Germans all do 150 on the autobahn
0:15:44 > 0:15:47- that far behind the car in front. - They do.- The Italians are mad.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51The French can't get to the grocer's without crashing into a field.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54The Americans are belligerent, the Australians are drunk,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56the rest of the world hasn't got the hang of it yet.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57LAUGHTER
0:15:57 > 0:15:59No, I'll... Yeah.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01We are just the best, and that's an end of it.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07Ladies and gentlemen, this morning, Richard Hammond was late for work.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Oh, I'm sorry! I know! - I arrived at 8:07.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13You got there at 8:10. You arrived at 10:47.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Yes. I'm sorry. - 10 to 11 when you arrived.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- I'm sorry I was late for school! - And this was good news
0:16:18 > 0:16:21because, while we were waiting for you to rock up, James and I
0:16:21 > 0:16:24talked about the enormous success we had last week playing car rugby.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- Exactly.- And I think it was a great success, and we were thinking,
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- "Are there any other sports you can play in a car?"- Were you?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Now, you were so late, we decided to go out onto the track to see
0:16:34 > 0:16:35if you can play tennis in a car.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- You can't.- You can't?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- No.- Really?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Well, we had a couple of cameramen out there,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43so let's just find out, shall we?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Here we go. This is how we filled our morning.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Serve!
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Here we go, this is a good one.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Whoa-ho!
0:17:02 > 0:17:04That's a great shot! Yes!
0:17:04 > 0:17:06APPLAUSE
0:17:08 > 0:17:09What? It works!
0:17:09 > 0:17:12I know, it does. You can play tennis in cars,
0:17:12 > 0:17:13with a bit of editing!
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Little bit of editing. It did work really well, though.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- And it was really good fun. - Well, I'm sorry I missed it.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Now, moving on, sometimes it seems
0:17:21 > 0:17:24like the motor industry is a little bit like the film business.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Occasionally you get low-budget indies like the Ariel Atom.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32Sometimes you get a quirky, offbeat foreign-language production.
0:17:32 > 0:17:33That'd be a Saab.
0:17:33 > 0:17:38And then occasionally, you get a big, huge-budget blockbuster,
0:17:38 > 0:17:40such as this.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Welcome, everyone, to the new Range Rover.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13And when I say new,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16I really mean new.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21This body shell, for example, still looks pretty much like a Range Rover
0:18:21 > 0:18:23but it's been totally redesigned from scratch
0:18:23 > 0:18:26and made from aluminium,
0:18:26 > 0:18:31and that saves a whopping 400 kilograms of weight.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34And that's just the start of it.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41It has a new active suspension system, so it no longer rolls around
0:18:41 > 0:18:44like a torpedoed frigate when you go round the bends.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47It has new electric power steering,
0:18:47 > 0:18:50it has a new, very clever eight-speed gearbox.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56Inside, half of the switches and buttons have been ditched
0:18:56 > 0:18:58to create this more minimalist dashboard.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05There are also four inches of extra legroom in the back,
0:19:05 > 0:19:10and you no longer have to burn any calories opening the tailgate.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17On the road, it feels more luxurious than ever.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21The ride is really very good,
0:19:21 > 0:19:23quite Rolls-Royce-like.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27However, all these improvements come at a price,
0:19:27 > 0:19:33because even the cheapest version, a V6 diesel, costs £71,000
0:19:33 > 0:19:38and the supercharged V8 model is almost £100,000.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40That's Mercedes S-class money.
0:19:40 > 0:19:45But then, the Range Rover has long been a Mercedes S-class rival
0:19:45 > 0:19:48and this new one is equally at home
0:19:48 > 0:19:51on the expensive bits of the Monopoly board.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55Thing is, though, previous Range Rovers have always been about
0:19:55 > 0:19:59a bit more than just poncing around a nice big city.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02They've always been formidable adventure cars,
0:20:02 > 0:20:05great off-roaders, pioneers, in a way.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09So what I think we'll do now is, we'll drive out of London...
0:20:10 > 0:20:13..and into this place.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28The Nevada Automotive Test Centre
0:20:28 > 0:20:30in Nevada.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34This vast 1,200-square-mile proving ground
0:20:34 > 0:20:37is where the original Hummer was developed,
0:20:37 > 0:20:39making it the perfect place
0:20:39 > 0:20:42to find out whether Lord Snooty can still get his shoes dirty.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46To spice things up a bit,
0:20:46 > 0:20:49we're going to give the Range Rover some competition.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51So now, obviously, you're expecting me
0:20:51 > 0:20:54to introduce a redneck in a massively modified jeep.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58But no. We can do better than that.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01And we have. And here he comes now.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Though when I say "he", what I really mean is "it".
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Bloody Nora.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Meet the TerraMax.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32It has six-wheel drive, tyres the size of Ferris wheels,
0:21:32 > 0:21:34the ability to drive almost anywhere
0:21:34 > 0:21:36and, as you've just seen,
0:21:36 > 0:21:38nobody in the driver's seat.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44It's an autonomous vehicle.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48This thing can go on patrol, deliver supplies,
0:21:48 > 0:21:52and all without any risk of soldiers being blown up by IEDs.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Here's basically how it works.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Up on the roof, there's a thing called LIDAR,
0:21:57 > 0:22:01which is 64 separate lasers spinning round and round very quickly
0:22:01 > 0:22:03and reading the terrain.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06The information that comes back is interpreted by the computer on board
0:22:06 > 0:22:08that decides where it should go
0:22:08 > 0:22:12and then operates the steering, the brakes, the engine and so on.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15And what it sees is this.
0:22:16 > 0:22:21Anything that comes up green is basically no problem.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23It's vegetation, that sort of thing.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Anything that comes up in various shades of red
0:22:25 > 0:22:30is more of an obstacle, so a big rock, a tree, a wall, a cliff face,
0:22:30 > 0:22:31all that sort of thing.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Look at that!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42That's really quite amazing.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45But the big question is,
0:22:45 > 0:22:47can it beat a car built by Brummies
0:22:47 > 0:22:49and driven by me?
0:22:54 > 0:22:57What we're going to do is have a race
0:22:57 > 0:22:59from here to that hilltop over there,
0:22:59 > 0:23:02a distance of about ten miles.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Between us and the finish line lay many off-road challenges,
0:23:05 > 0:23:09including rocky ground, steep slopes,
0:23:09 > 0:23:11cloying mud and icy rivers.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14And there would be no pre-planned route.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18The Range Rover and I would have to adapt as we went along.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22ENGINES RUMBLE
0:23:24 > 0:23:26It's man versus machine,
0:23:26 > 0:23:28quite literally.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Three!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Hang on!
0:23:37 > 0:23:40I suppose it has a mind of its own, doesn't it?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44It's May versus Schwarzenegger!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51In truth, the jump start didn't really matter
0:23:51 > 0:23:54because I was on standard road tyres
0:23:54 > 0:23:58and this path was so craggy, he was always going to be faster anyway.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Look at the size of the tyres on that thing.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Ah, God, he's miles in front.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Right, if you're thinking of placing a bet on this at home,
0:24:08 > 0:24:10here are the odds. Team Terminator, with the TerraMax,
0:24:10 > 0:24:13they can go over terrain that I can't manage,
0:24:13 > 0:24:15and the boffins who built it
0:24:15 > 0:24:19have programmed satellite maps of the whole area into its brain.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23So it already has a pretty good idea of where to go.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26And if they want, they can take control of it remotely,
0:24:26 > 0:24:28like a drone.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Team Top Gear, with the Range Rover,
0:24:31 > 0:24:36you have me, possibly the greatest off-road vehicle in the world,
0:24:36 > 0:24:38and higher speed.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42I also have Land Rover's Terrain Response system,
0:24:42 > 0:24:45which allows you to select different settings for the car
0:24:45 > 0:24:47depending on the type of surface you're on.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51But there is a new feature -
0:24:51 > 0:24:52you can now push the knob down
0:24:52 > 0:24:54and it goes into automatic mode,
0:24:54 > 0:24:58and then the car will work out for itself, believe it or not,
0:24:58 > 0:24:59what sort of terrain you're on,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02what ride height you need, all the rest of it.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Right now, though, it was speed I needed,
0:25:06 > 0:25:10and with these tyres on this terrain I wasn't getting any.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13God above!
0:25:14 > 0:25:16That looks like a short cut.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20That is a short cut. I'll miss this.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25The short cut was a steep, slippery slope.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Right, hill descent.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Here we go.
0:25:33 > 0:25:34Whoa!
0:25:36 > 0:25:37Whoa, that's steep.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43I'm losing it! No, I'm not!
0:25:46 > 0:25:47Whoa-ho!
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Oh, God, he's there.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54And sure enough...
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Yes! Take that, Robocop!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00And things could only get better
0:26:00 > 0:26:03because ahead of me lay a fast, sandy track.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11Wahey!
0:26:14 > 0:26:18This is the 510-horsepower supercharged Range Rover.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22You'd be mad to buy this in Britain. It's so thirsty!
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Makes sense out here, though, and it makes sense doing this.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32I've no idea where Robocop is.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36But he ain't going as fast as this.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Sadly, Robocop didn't need to,
0:26:40 > 0:26:44because the boffins back at base switched to drone mode,
0:26:44 > 0:26:48remotely deflated the tyres for better grip in tricky conditions
0:26:48 > 0:26:51and ordered it to take a short cut of its own,
0:26:51 > 0:26:53over even rougher ground.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Wahey!
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Back on the sand track,
0:27:03 > 0:27:06I was at least reaping the benefits
0:27:06 > 0:27:08of the Range Rover's 400-kilogram diet.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Hang on, a quick downshift to the sandy hairpin.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Look at that, it's beautiful!
0:27:17 > 0:27:21But the TerraMax's shortcut had put it ahead
0:27:21 > 0:27:24and now the terrain was even more in its favour.
0:27:34 > 0:27:39That thing's not going fast, but it is utterly relentless. It just goes.
0:27:48 > 0:27:49Moments later,
0:27:49 > 0:27:53I arrived at the ridge the TerraMax had just climbed.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Holy moly!
0:27:57 > 0:27:58What the hell, here we go.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Geronimo!
0:28:05 > 0:28:06Whoa!
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Did you see that?
0:28:12 > 0:28:14That is just... That is astounding!
0:28:17 > 0:28:21Meanwhile, the TerraMax was surging ahead.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27And once it had crossed the river
0:28:27 > 0:28:32it could hit its top speed of 35 miles an hour,
0:28:32 > 0:28:35which meant I had to push even harder.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Whoa, that's deep.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47Whoa, that's getting a bit dicey!
0:28:48 > 0:28:49Whoa!
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Whoa-ho!
0:28:54 > 0:28:56It really is astonishing, this thing.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01Let's hear you cheering, Birmingham.
0:29:01 > 0:29:06Here we go. This will wade up to 36 inches, this car.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08That's more than a Land Rover Defender,
0:29:08 > 0:29:11more than the old car would. The air intakes have been moved up
0:29:11 > 0:29:14to the top of the bonnet, so the water doesn't get in the engine.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16If there's no holes in the river,
0:29:16 > 0:29:19I'm across! Yes!
0:29:24 > 0:29:28Back on smooth ground, I could now close down the TerraMax.
0:29:28 > 0:29:31Where is he?
0:29:31 > 0:29:33No sign of the metal BLEEP.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Actually, the driverless swine
0:29:37 > 0:29:39was starting its ascent of the final hill.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46There's Arnie! I'm on his six.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49Now, I could follow that thing, then just try and overtake
0:29:49 > 0:29:51at the last minute in a rush to the finish line,
0:29:51 > 0:29:54but I don't think that will work, to be honest,
0:29:54 > 0:29:57cos it's just going to end up somewhere where I can't go.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01On the map, Arnie's route was shorter
0:30:01 > 0:30:03but also clearly steeper,
0:30:03 > 0:30:06so I went for a longer, shallower track.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Here we go. And it's smooth and good.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18That's where I'm going. I can see a whiff of the orange smoke.
0:30:22 > 0:30:23Heh-heh! This is excellent.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27Lost sight of Arnie.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29Absolutely no idea where it is.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Whilst Arnie ploughed relentlessly upwards,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38my gamble started to backfire.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45This is getting tricky. Ah! Calm down, man.
0:30:49 > 0:30:50Jeez, it's getting worse.
0:30:53 > 0:30:57I'm sorry, I really can't do it much faster than this.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01I'll just pull a tyre off or smack something, then it will be over.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04The summit was now just half a mile away.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08He could be just the other side of that rise.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10I just... I've got no way of knowing.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14There's the orange smoke.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Here we go, here we go.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19Here's the chequered flag! And...
0:31:21 > 0:31:23No TerraMax!
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Yes! Ha-ha!
0:31:27 > 0:31:30I thank you!
0:31:30 > 0:31:33How about that? An intelligent machine driven by a computer
0:31:33 > 0:31:37has been beaten by the intelligent machine driven by a human being,
0:31:37 > 0:31:39which is exactly as it should be, of course.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43We...are still the most important component in a car,
0:31:43 > 0:31:46and if we weren't, we'd all be doomed!
0:31:53 > 0:31:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:32:01 > 0:32:02Why...
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Why can't you walk on slippery surfaces?
0:32:05 > 0:32:09- I don't like low traction.- Yeah, but why do you need traction? It's you.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12You're not moving quickly or changing direction suddenly, are you?
0:32:12 > 0:32:13No, and the other thing is,
0:32:13 > 0:32:17I think I could have done the Range Rover test a bit more quickly.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19- Really?- No, you could. All you have to say is,
0:32:19 > 0:32:20at the front there's too much bling,
0:32:20 > 0:32:22at the back the boot is too small,
0:32:22 > 0:32:25and everything in between is utterly, utterly outstanding.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28You could have added that because it's so much lighter
0:32:28 > 0:32:30than the previous model, it's much more economical.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32Yeah. There we are, we've covered everything.
0:32:32 > 0:32:36Anyway, it's now time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
0:32:36 > 0:32:41Now, my guest tonight likes bikes and is incredibly tiny.
0:32:41 > 0:32:46- Oh, is it me?!- Have you ever seen Keira Knightley naked?
0:32:46 > 0:32:48- Yes.- Really?
0:32:48 > 0:32:51- No.- Well, he has, and he's kissed Angelina Jolie.- Oh, I've done that!
0:32:51 > 0:32:53- No, you haven't.- In my mind.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56Ladies and gentlemen, James McAvoy!
0:32:56 > 0:32:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:32:59 > 0:33:02- How are you?- Good.- Nice to see you. - Thank you very much.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05Have a seat.
0:33:05 > 0:33:12So Atonement, Last King Of Scotland, X-Men, and now you crown it all.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15- The Bill. I was in The Bill.- The Bill, as well?- I was in The Bill.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18You don't crown that, but this is Top Gear - second best to The Bill.
0:33:18 > 0:33:19Yes!
0:33:19 > 0:33:23Now, the guests we've had recently - Mick Fleetwood, Amy Macdonald -
0:33:23 > 0:33:28- really quite good car histories. Yours is shocking.- Is it? OK.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31I think you're the first man we've ever had sit in that seat
0:33:31 > 0:33:34- who once owned a Nissan Micra.- Oh!
0:33:34 > 0:33:37Listen, I was very proud of that car and I have to say,
0:33:37 > 0:33:40that car was not even one litre and it went like the clappers!
0:33:40 > 0:33:42- It didn't.- It did.- Oh, no!
0:33:42 > 0:33:46No, no, because you moved from that to something not much better.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49It was called a Renault Clio.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51- And it was a 1.2. - LAUGHTER
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Five door, my friend!
0:33:54 > 0:33:57- And it had a fantastic heating system.- Did it?
0:33:57 > 0:34:01It did, it warmed up very quickly, much warmer than my new car,
0:34:01 > 0:34:03which is an Audi Q3 now.
0:34:03 > 0:34:08I actually said the other day, it's the dreariest car in the world.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10- But anyway, let's gloss over that. - Right, go.
0:34:10 > 0:34:14Because the problem you had is you didn't pass your driving test
0:34:14 > 0:34:18- till really quite recently. - I passed it about four years ago.
0:34:18 > 0:34:22I first took my driving test for a TV show called State Of Play
0:34:22 > 0:34:24and then failed.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27So I just thought, "To hell with it," and I started riding motorbikes
0:34:27 > 0:34:29and then four years ago I was having a baby
0:34:29 > 0:34:32so I thought I'd better learn how to drive and I finally passed my test.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35I was just thinking, there was a Channel 4 thing
0:34:35 > 0:34:37- called Shameless you were in.- Mm.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39You drove in that, I'm sure you drove.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42- I played a car thief in that and I have to say... - LAUGHTER
0:34:42 > 0:34:45I have to say, that Channel 4 never once asked me
0:34:45 > 0:34:49for a driver's licence, so how they got insurance, I don't know!
0:34:49 > 0:34:54Now, you say you were into bikes before cars,
0:34:54 > 0:34:56so what was your first bike?
0:34:56 > 0:35:01- My first bike was not really a bike, my first bike was a Vespa.- Oh, God!
0:35:01 > 0:35:03It was a scooter.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05I drove one of those all the way across Vietnam
0:35:05 > 0:35:10- and they are death traps.- Right. - Did you fall off yours?
0:35:10 > 0:35:11I did fall off mine.
0:35:11 > 0:35:16Within...28 hours of owning one for the first time,
0:35:16 > 0:35:19I found myself illegally, by accident, on the North Circular.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22I was at...you know those big roundabout junctions
0:35:22 > 0:35:26you get on the North Circular, with a guy in a Maserati behind me,
0:35:26 > 0:35:28revving his engine and beeping me
0:35:28 > 0:35:30because he was angry that I was on the North Circular.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32I thought, "I'm trying to get off - give me a break."
0:35:32 > 0:35:35So the lights go green and I was under so much pressure
0:35:35 > 0:35:36that I revved off too quickly
0:35:36 > 0:35:39and, going round a corner, you know you get all that dust
0:35:39 > 0:35:41and gravel at the edge, I went into it.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44The thing span away from me and went about 30 feet down the road
0:35:44 > 0:35:47- and that was my second day as a biker, so...- That was...
0:35:47 > 0:35:51Cos I can remember once, being in a Maserati on the North Circular...
0:35:51 > 0:35:53LAUGHTER
0:35:53 > 0:35:56- No, I'll gloss over that. - A green Vespa, yeah?
0:35:56 > 0:36:00- Anyway, your new film, which I went to see last night.- Right.- It's good.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03- Thanks very much, cheers.- Good! - Yeah, we're very proud of it.
0:36:03 > 0:36:04It's called Welcome To The Punch.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08We have a clip, which I'd like to show for you now.
0:36:08 > 0:36:09Sternwood!
0:36:14 > 0:36:16Can we just take a step back for a minute?
0:36:17 > 0:36:20Max is an inch away from piecing all this together.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30Move! Go!
0:36:33 > 0:36:34We'll end this tonight.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39And when it's over, you'll go to prison.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51Why don't we let off some fireworks while we're at it?
0:36:52 > 0:36:55That is properly good.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00I really did enjoy that, but a couple of questions from that.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04Number one - that's an Alpha 159 you're driving.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06Did you not think when you were driving that,
0:37:06 > 0:37:07"This is better than my Audi Q3"?
0:37:07 > 0:37:09I didn't have an Audi Q3 at the time,
0:37:09 > 0:37:13- I think I had a Citroen C3 Picasso. - Ugh!
0:37:13 > 0:37:15- LAUGHTER - This gets worse!
0:37:15 > 0:37:19The other thing I noticed in that is your beard, which you still have.
0:37:19 > 0:37:23- Now, this is because you're in... - Macbeth. I'm trans-gingered.
0:37:23 > 0:37:27- Were you surprised when you grew it and it was orange?- Er...
0:37:27 > 0:37:29LAUGHTER
0:37:29 > 0:37:31- You know, your hair's not orange. - And I'm not orange down there.
0:37:31 > 0:37:35- You're not orange there?- People ask me do I dye my top, but I don't.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38So do you know why it's orange? Was it disappointing to be orange?
0:37:38 > 0:37:40I don't know why it's red, but I dig it, I like it.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43- I don't need a comment, but I like it.- I'm...
0:37:43 > 0:37:45I'm fine with an orange beard.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47LAUGHTER
0:37:47 > 0:37:50Erm, now, I believe it was Michael Fassbender,
0:37:50 > 0:37:54a former guest here, who suggested we should contact you to get you on
0:37:54 > 0:37:57- cos he said you'd love it. - I would love it, yeah.- And did you?
0:37:57 > 0:38:00- I did love it.- He's been your driving partner, hasn't he?
0:38:00 > 0:38:04He's been... We would operate... I don't know what you'd call it,
0:38:04 > 0:38:07but you know when you get the motorbikes with the sidecar racing
0:38:07 > 0:38:10and you get the guy on the side doing the counterbalance?
0:38:10 > 0:38:12We would do that for each other, taking it in turns,
0:38:12 > 0:38:18on a golf buggy... erm, when we made X-Men.
0:38:18 > 0:38:20Our golf buggy was, thankfully, restricted,
0:38:20 > 0:38:23but we got into our director's golf buggy one day, unknowingly,
0:38:23 > 0:38:26which had been de-restricted and I think it went the grand total
0:38:26 > 0:38:29of 17 miles an hour or something like that.
0:38:29 > 0:38:33Anyway, I was driving, Michael was in the back doing counterbalance,
0:38:33 > 0:38:35and I'm here, passenger seat here.
0:38:35 > 0:38:36There's a seat here, passenger bit,
0:38:36 > 0:38:40then another passenger bit there and then a little footplate here.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42He's on the footplate, hanging on, going like that
0:38:42 > 0:38:44when I'm going that way, all this kind of thing.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46He gave me such good counterbalance,
0:38:46 > 0:38:50it just flipped, and when it sort of landed again
0:38:50 > 0:38:53it caught so much traction that we just launched forward.
0:38:53 > 0:38:57We were going too fast. Anyway, we launched into the back of a Lexus.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59- And, erm... - LAUGHTER
0:38:59 > 0:39:03And I flew forward, smacked my face off the windscreen
0:39:03 > 0:39:05and the next thing I knew I was about 15 feet
0:39:05 > 0:39:09away from the actual golf buggy, lying on the ground.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12I looked up and Michael had somehow managed,
0:39:12 > 0:39:16with a roof and two passenger seats, then the driver's seat there,
0:39:16 > 0:39:17had managed to fly forward
0:39:17 > 0:39:21and he was sitting in the driver's seat, just looking...
0:39:21 > 0:39:25And his shins were like Niagara Falls of blood.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28He was just cut to shribbons.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30There's something about a golf buggy which is...
0:39:30 > 0:39:33They should never be used for golf, totally wasted!
0:39:33 > 0:39:35Anyway, listen, if I'm honest with you,
0:39:35 > 0:39:38when I heard that you were able to come on, I was very excited.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41I thought, "He's only been driving 25 minutes,
0:39:41 > 0:39:44"there's no way he's going to be any good."
0:39:44 > 0:39:47So are we ready to see if he was or not?
0:39:47 > 0:39:49- AUDIENCE: Yeah!- Let's play the lap!
0:39:50 > 0:39:52TYRES SQUEAL
0:39:53 > 0:39:56Right, here we go. Drumchapel, this is for you.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:39:58 > 0:40:02Clear your throat. The mighty Kia Cee'd.
0:40:02 > 0:40:03Did you get the corner right?
0:40:03 > 0:40:05Looking good.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08TYRES SQUEAL
0:40:08 > 0:40:11A lot of tortured tyres, but we're through safely.
0:40:11 > 0:40:13- Dirty little Kia! - LAUGHTER
0:40:13 > 0:40:18It's only cos you had a few offs in practice that it's dirty.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21It's a clean, legs-together sort of car.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26- Why do I keep checking my- BLEEP - rear-view mirror?
0:40:26 > 0:40:30There's nobody there anyway...except my dust!
0:40:30 > 0:40:35You would be amazed how many people do that - mirror, signal, manoeuvre.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42It looks much slower than it felt.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45Yeah, no, it's awful, that, but the slower it looks, sometimes,
0:40:45 > 0:40:46the faster you are.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48Come on, come on, come on.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53Argh, you end up speaking like in a movie, it's ridiculous.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55"Come on, come on, come on." Listen to me.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57You've got to talk to them.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00They look like machines, but they're not really. Close to the tyres?
0:41:00 > 0:41:02Oh, yes, that was close! Lewis Hamilton close!
0:41:02 > 0:41:06Wobbled the camera. Second-to-last corner, two bites at the cherry.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Yes, but through and not off,
0:41:08 > 0:41:12and that's good and now we come back to Gambon...
0:41:12 > 0:41:14A lot of understeer... Oh, my god!
0:41:14 > 0:41:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:20 > 0:41:24- Which way did you end up facing? - Straight, I went straight on.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27- The car was completely... - Yeah, but I got it back, though.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30- You got it back?!- Yeah.- You must be a hell of a quick learner
0:41:30 > 0:41:32cos for someone who's only been driving for, well,
0:41:32 > 0:41:35not very long, to be able to... It didn't look too bad at all.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37It was great fun. Thank you so much for letting me have a go.
0:41:37 > 0:41:40- Oh, man, it was fantastic! - I don't need to know my time!
0:41:40 > 0:41:42LAUGHTER
0:41:42 > 0:41:46Right, so where do you think that you came?
0:41:46 > 0:41:48I think I should have got...
0:41:48 > 0:41:53about 1.43 probably and I kept messing up
0:41:53 > 0:41:58one of the turns in particular, so I think I've got about 1.45.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00- Well, I like your ambition! - Thanks very much.
0:42:00 > 0:42:04It is ambitious! So you're thinking 1.45 somewhere.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07Well, you did it, James McAvoy, in...
0:42:07 > 0:42:09..one...
0:42:10 > 0:42:11..forty...
0:42:14 > 0:42:15..three...
0:42:15 > 0:42:18- point six! You made your goal!- Oh!
0:42:18 > 0:42:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:27 > 0:42:29Look at that!
0:42:29 > 0:42:32- Oh!- That's brilliant! - I cannot believe that!
0:42:32 > 0:42:35Oh, my God, I actually didn't do too badly!
0:42:35 > 0:42:37He's actually breathing a sigh of relief, cos I don't think
0:42:37 > 0:42:40he would have wanted you to go faster. Fassbender is...
0:42:40 > 0:42:42That's a genuinely pleased man!
0:42:42 > 0:42:45I'm really, really pleased because I've had the premonition of me
0:42:45 > 0:42:47going round the track
0:42:47 > 0:42:51and I've always thought I'd flip the car, I'd roll it badly
0:42:51 > 0:42:53and, erm, so I really did believe
0:42:53 > 0:42:56that I'd be down in the bottom quarter.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59- Well, you're not.- Yes! - Ladies and gentlemen, James McAvoy!
0:42:59 > 0:43:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:08 > 0:43:13Now, the population of Britain is getting older
0:43:13 > 0:43:16and yet cars seem to be getting more and more complicated
0:43:16 > 0:43:18and fiddly, which is why, earlier on, Jeremy
0:43:18 > 0:43:23and I decided to make a car specifically for old people.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26And now it's time to test it on the road.
0:43:33 > 0:43:36The location for this maiden voyage was Christchurch,
0:43:36 > 0:43:40the south-coast town with a larger percentage of elderly
0:43:40 > 0:43:42residents than anywhere else in Britain.
0:43:44 > 0:43:48It's the perfect place, then, to test our new car.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03Now, listen, I've got a couple of questions for you.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05First of all, this.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08SQUEAKING Yeah.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11Underneath the brake pedal, I've fitted one of these...
0:44:11 > 0:44:15- BALL SQUEAKS ..so you know which pedal you're hitting.- Oh, I see!
0:44:15 > 0:44:19So there's no chance of unintended acceleration.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22Yeah, that's a big problem solved.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24- Am I pushing the right pedal? - SQUEAK!
0:44:24 > 0:44:30Yes, I am! There's an audible reminder! That's brilliant!
0:44:30 > 0:44:35- Not only that, but the nature of the noise...- Yes, it's funny.
0:44:35 > 0:44:37When it comes to cadence braking...
0:44:37 > 0:44:40SQUEAKY-SQUEAKY-SQUEAK! Oh, that is lovely!
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Cos a cadence-braking situation is a panic situation,
0:44:43 > 0:44:46but that sprinkles some comedy into it.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48SQUEAK!
0:44:48 > 0:44:50And then the next one I've got, really, is this.
0:44:50 > 0:44:54Well, I've been thorough here and addressed all the senses, look.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57- Magnifying glass. - Let's have a look.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Oooh!
0:44:59 > 0:45:03'Of course, the main improvement we'd made
0:45:03 > 0:45:06'was the new easy-to-use dashboard.'
0:45:06 > 0:45:09Hammond, would you like to set the sat nav, please?
0:45:09 > 0:45:13Yep, we have a choice of four destinations -
0:45:13 > 0:45:17- home, post office, Peggy's house or bingo.- Yes, we do.- What do you fancy?
0:45:17 > 0:45:20- A bit of bingo?- I fancy a bit of bingo.- A bit of bingo.- It's in.
0:45:20 > 0:45:22- There you go. - SQUEAK!
0:45:22 > 0:45:24- OLD MAN:- You have selected bingo.
0:45:24 > 0:45:28If you wouldn't mind turning left, that would be smashing.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30You see, now that's what I call a sat-nav instruction!
0:45:30 > 0:45:32It's so much better than the German ones.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35GO LEFT AT ZE NEXT ROUNDABOUT OR YOU WILL BE SHOT!
0:45:35 > 0:45:38- Who wants to be told by a German where to go?- I know!
0:45:38 > 0:45:41- Or a young German.- Well, that!
0:45:41 > 0:45:45Continue straight on. This area was bombed during the war, you know.
0:45:45 > 0:45:51- Oh, you see!- Those are the details you want. War, rationing...
0:45:51 > 0:45:54'Next we tested my new speedometer.'
0:45:54 > 0:45:56Taking it up to five!
0:45:58 > 0:45:59Seven.
0:46:01 > 0:46:02Nine miles an hour!
0:46:03 > 0:46:04And into fourth.
0:46:07 > 0:46:09- Go straight on.- Ten!
0:46:11 > 0:46:14'But then...disaster.'
0:46:15 > 0:46:17BANG!
0:46:17 > 0:46:20- It's gone!- What?- The cat!- No!
0:46:22 > 0:46:26'The cat had not fared well.' It's dead!
0:46:26 > 0:46:30- 'Then a young policeman arrived.' - Where was the cat before?
0:46:30 > 0:46:35- There, but...- Is it your cat? - It's dead.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38- And its name?- Tiddles.- Dead.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40- Tiddles?- Ex-cat.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46After giving the cat a decent burial...
0:46:51 > 0:46:53..we reached the bingo hall...
0:46:54 > 0:46:56- SAT NAV:- You have arrived! Lovely!
0:46:56 > 0:47:00..and went off to find a parking space.
0:47:00 > 0:47:04Right, there's one, look, next to that Focus.
0:47:05 > 0:47:06SQUEAK!
0:47:06 > 0:47:09- Are you shuffling the wheel?- Yes.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13These are lovely crashers.
0:47:13 > 0:47:19No damage whatsoever to any vehicle in this car park.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21Three and six, 36.
0:47:21 > 0:47:26- We expected bingo to be very relaxing.- Eight and one, 81.
0:47:26 > 0:47:29- But it wasn't.- Two and one, 21.
0:47:29 > 0:47:33- I've never concentrated so hard in my life.- Two and eight, 28.- Oh!
0:47:33 > 0:47:37- I'm literally wetting myself! - One and five, 15.- It's coming out!
0:47:37 > 0:47:41- All the sixes, 66.- Oh! Say 86!
0:47:41 > 0:47:44- Six and five, 65.- Yes!- Oh, boll...!
0:47:44 > 0:47:49'Even though we'd lost 17 shillings, we'd had a great time.'
0:47:49 > 0:47:51- Exciting!- Was it ever?!
0:47:51 > 0:47:53'But afterwards there was an issue.'
0:47:53 > 0:47:56Now, Jeremy, can I ask you a question?
0:47:56 > 0:48:00- Can you remember where we parked our car?- No, Richard, I can't.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03This is a common problem, and not just for the elderly,
0:48:03 > 0:48:06which is why, you may have noticed, on top of our car was a box.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09In that box is a special feature that I can activate
0:48:09 > 0:48:11if I press this button on the key fob.
0:48:15 > 0:48:16There it is!
0:48:16 > 0:48:18You see, this activates a flare
0:48:18 > 0:48:23and we now know to head in that direction.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27Very quickly, we found the correct car park,
0:48:27 > 0:48:30but we still couldn't find the car.
0:48:34 > 0:48:37You're the height of most elderly people.
0:48:37 > 0:48:42- Can you see our car in this car park?- No. No, I can't.
0:48:42 > 0:48:46And that's why, if I press this button...
0:48:46 > 0:48:49WHIRRING
0:48:49 > 0:48:51You see?
0:48:51 > 0:48:55So it's brilliant - the flare guides us to the rough position
0:48:55 > 0:49:00and the balloon takes us to the precise location of the car.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05'Having wound in the balloon locator system,
0:49:05 > 0:49:09'we decided to find out how our car would go down with some
0:49:09 > 0:49:15'actual old people, so we set off to an old people's home.'
0:49:15 > 0:49:18Turn right at the newfangled mini roundabout.
0:49:18 > 0:49:22'And on the way, I showed Hammond another of my special features.'
0:49:23 > 0:49:26Now, the radio, Hammond - just one station.
0:49:28 > 0:49:31MUSIC: "Horse Of The Year Show" theme
0:49:31 > 0:49:34It's the music from the Horse Of The Year Show
0:49:34 > 0:49:38- and old people love that cos you can clap along to it.- Very nice.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41- It doesn't tune in to any other stations?- No, that's it.
0:49:41 > 0:49:45It plays it on a loop constantly. Why do you want anything else?
0:49:45 > 0:49:48What if you get in your car after your children have been
0:49:48 > 0:49:50driving it and they've left it tuned to Radio 1?!
0:49:50 > 0:49:55Or worse still, Radio 2 and that talk-show man who does...
0:49:55 > 0:49:56- Jeremy Vine.- There you go.
0:49:56 > 0:49:59Those difficult topics - they're unsuitable.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01- What, like pregnancy?- Exactly!
0:50:01 > 0:50:04'However, there was a problem.'
0:50:04 > 0:50:08MUSIC CONTINUES, RHYTHMIC CLAPPING
0:50:08 > 0:50:11- I can't stop clapping! - I can't stop clapping.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15- This is a massive design fault! - This isn't safe! Turn it off!
0:50:15 > 0:50:19'Eventually, we arrived at the old people's home...'
0:50:19 > 0:50:21SQUEAK!
0:50:21 > 0:50:23- SAT NAV:- Well done, that was lovely.
0:50:23 > 0:50:26'..and went to find the testing team.'
0:50:26 > 0:50:32- So you're Miriam?- I am, yes. - And you're Betty?- Yes.- I'm Barbara.
0:50:32 > 0:50:36- You're Barbara. And this is the car that...- What is she called?
0:50:36 > 0:50:39- This is The James.- It's called The James.- James?- The James.
0:50:39 > 0:50:43- A Rover James.- Oh, it's a Rover, yes?- First impressions?
0:50:43 > 0:50:45- What do we think?- It's wonderful!
0:50:45 > 0:50:48This material is waterproof.
0:50:48 > 0:50:53- Oh, good!- So if there's any little accidents...- Yes!- ..don't you worry.
0:50:53 > 0:50:57'However, there was an issue with the Shackleton rear seating.'
0:50:57 > 0:50:59- Have you got a hoist? - That bit there...
0:50:59 > 0:51:01See, in the advert for the chairs,
0:51:01 > 0:51:03we were told they were very easy to get into and out of.
0:51:03 > 0:51:07- Get me bottom round. - Shall we get a nurse to do this?
0:51:07 > 0:51:11- No, I'll do it if it kills me! - Well, we'd rather it didn't!
0:51:11 > 0:51:14- I was going to say...- There's a lot of paperwork.- I'm so sorry.
0:51:14 > 0:51:16- Can I help?- We're there! We're there!- Hooray!
0:51:16 > 0:51:19- Well done! - With both our dignity nearly intact!
0:51:24 > 0:51:26Lovely.
0:51:29 > 0:51:33'With the testing team on board, we set off to the bowls club.'
0:51:33 > 0:51:36- SAT NAV:- Don't overdo it, not with your back.
0:51:36 > 0:51:40Look at the speed we're going now - three miles an hour, as you can see.
0:51:40 > 0:51:42Oh, isn't this absolute fun?
0:51:46 > 0:51:49- SQUEAK! - 'Soon, we reached our destination.'
0:51:49 > 0:51:53- Here we are, ladies, at the bowling club.- Ooh, lovely!
0:51:53 > 0:51:57'And Hammond insisted I show off his new parking sensors.'
0:51:57 > 0:51:59BEEPING Keep going.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01FASTER BEEPING Keep going.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04- FASTER BEEPING - You know there's no bumper on the back?
0:52:04 > 0:52:05Just keep backing up. BEEPING
0:52:05 > 0:52:08Ignore the noise, pretend you can't hear it.
0:52:08 > 0:52:10BANG!
0:52:10 > 0:52:13What did he hit?
0:52:13 > 0:52:17- External rear-mounted airbag! - But...- Genius!
0:52:17 > 0:52:18Excuse me a minute.
0:52:18 > 0:52:23Three quite elderly ladies in there have now all had heart attacks.
0:52:23 > 0:52:27- There is that. - Ladies, I do apologise for that.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30- When have you ever experienced banging like that?- The war.
0:52:30 > 0:52:32When the bombs dropped.
0:52:32 > 0:52:37You're saying that because these ladies lived through the war
0:52:37 > 0:52:40- they're capable of dealing with a bang of that nature?- Yes.
0:52:42 > 0:52:46Leaving the ladies to play bowls, we went off to buy food for a picnic.
0:52:46 > 0:52:50What about Battenberg, or is that too German?
0:52:50 > 0:52:52It is too German, isn't it?
0:52:52 > 0:52:55JEREMY CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:52:55 > 0:52:58- Sandwich spread! - Potted meat!- Beef spread.
0:52:58 > 0:53:01They must have ginger beer in Christchurch.
0:53:01 > 0:53:05- Ginger beer's a bit racy, don't you think?- No! They love it.
0:53:05 > 0:53:08Enid Blyton used to rub herself with it. There it is.
0:53:08 > 0:53:14- Peruvian, Greek, Brazilian... - Holland.- Dutch.- Grown in the UK!
0:53:14 > 0:53:16'With the shopping finished,
0:53:16 > 0:53:21'it was time to demonstrate yet another feature of The James.'
0:53:21 > 0:53:25- If you've got osteoporosis, arthritis, lumbago...- Or rheumatism.
0:53:25 > 0:53:28..or rheumatism, then lifting your heavy shopping into the boot
0:53:28 > 0:53:33can be, well, very difficult indeed.
0:53:33 > 0:53:35But with this genius solution, not a problem.
0:53:35 > 0:53:39Bring the trolley up to the back - that's easy. Lift, drop in, job done.
0:53:39 > 0:53:41How brilliant is that?!
0:53:45 > 0:53:47'Having picked the ladies up, we set off for our picnic.'
0:53:47 > 0:53:49SQUEAK!
0:53:49 > 0:53:52Where did you get that mouse from?
0:53:52 > 0:53:55It's a squeaky ball he's got underneath the brake.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57SQUEAK!
0:53:57 > 0:54:00'Sadly, because it was an English summer's day,
0:54:00 > 0:54:04'it soon started to rain, which revealed a bit of a design flaw.'
0:54:04 > 0:54:10- Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa!- Oh, no, no, no! What's happened here?
0:54:10 > 0:54:12Ugh, that's a lot of water coming in now.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15This is a disaster that we've had, Hammond!
0:54:15 > 0:54:17I think some of our modifications
0:54:17 > 0:54:20have interfered with the waterproofing.
0:54:20 > 0:54:24Is it all on you, dear? It's all a stream down there.
0:54:24 > 0:54:27- Look at this spirit of the Blitz going on.- I know.
0:54:27 > 0:54:31- This is what makes us great. - The Americans would be weeping now.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34- They'd be making a fuss.- But what good would that do?- Nothing!
0:54:34 > 0:54:37'And we had just the thing to raise our spirits even more.'
0:54:40 > 0:54:43MUSIC: "Horse Of The Year Show" theme
0:54:47 > 0:54:49- You can't help it. - You can't, can you?
0:54:49 > 0:54:50Oh, no - the constabulary.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Oh, not again!
0:54:52 > 0:54:55Sorry, officers! Nothing to see here!
0:54:56 > 0:54:58'Eventually we arrived at exactly
0:54:58 > 0:55:01'the sort of picnic spot elderly people love.'
0:55:01 > 0:55:04BEEPING, CRUNCH
0:55:06 > 0:55:11- There we go. Shall we pop it just here?- Yeah.
0:55:11 > 0:55:14Look at that for a sunset picnic.
0:55:20 > 0:55:24'Having rescued what we could from the ruined shopping trolley...'
0:55:24 > 0:55:28- Mr Kipling, bread... - This is all soaked!
0:55:28 > 0:55:30'..we settled down to do what all old people do
0:55:30 > 0:55:32'when they're on a picnic together.'
0:55:56 > 0:55:59'The next morning we left Christchurch,
0:55:59 > 0:56:02'generally quite pleased with how things had gone.'
0:56:02 > 0:56:05- Oh, what?! - Leaking again!
0:56:06 > 0:56:10There are a few things we need to address - there's the waterproofing,
0:56:10 > 0:56:14obviously, the Shackleton easy chairs that aren't,
0:56:14 > 0:56:17as it turns out, so easy to get in and out of, you know.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20- The irresistible clapping machine. - Yeah. Er...
0:56:20 > 0:56:23Hold on, if we carry on along here, we'll have to get on the motorway.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26Yes, I know, and that will give us
0:56:26 > 0:56:33- the opportunity to test a feature that I fitted.- What?
0:56:33 > 0:56:36Well, you know you're always reading in the newspapers about
0:56:36 > 0:56:39- an old person who's driven 30 miles the wrong way down the M1?- Yeah.
0:56:39 > 0:56:43- Well, I've fitted something that will stop that happening.- How?
0:56:43 > 0:56:46Well, no, look, you see here it's not clearly marked,
0:56:46 > 0:56:50it's easy to go the wrong way down that slip road.
0:56:50 > 0:56:53- I just did.- Exactly!
0:56:53 > 0:56:54Watch this - here we go.
0:56:56 > 0:56:58KLAXON BLARES
0:56:58 > 0:57:01Oh, I see! That's clever, that's good.
0:57:01 > 0:57:04But if I miss the signs, I could just as easily miss all this.
0:57:04 > 0:57:07- Yeah, OK, keep going.- Oh, this is going to be...
0:57:07 > 0:57:09- Keep going! - KLAXON CONTINUES
0:57:19 > 0:57:22- There you go!- You idiot!
0:57:22 > 0:57:24- What?!- Well, it's ruined!
0:57:24 > 0:57:27Yes, but it can't go on the motorway going the wrong way.
0:57:27 > 0:57:31No, we can't GO anywhere because you've exploded the car!
0:57:31 > 0:57:34We're alive, everybody on that motorway is alive,
0:57:34 > 0:57:37this is the best solution ever.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39I've wet myself again!
0:57:39 > 0:57:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:57:42 > 0:57:45Thank you, ladies! What?!
0:57:45 > 0:57:48I knew you'd have something to say about it. What?
0:57:48 > 0:57:52- I think you've overdone it. - What on this is overdone?
0:57:52 > 0:57:54That heater - that's too complicated.
0:57:54 > 0:57:57I said that - you don't need a button for hot and a button for cold,
0:57:57 > 0:57:59you just need one that says, "Just right."
0:57:59 > 0:58:03No, no, let's not get bogged down with details cos I think it's more
0:58:03 > 0:58:05important we express our appreciation
0:58:05 > 0:58:07for the man who provided us
0:58:07 > 0:58:10with the voice for our satellite navigation system because it was
0:58:10 > 0:58:16the lovely Richard Briers, who sadly died just last week, so thank you.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19- Honour to have met him. - It was. Honour to have met him.
0:58:21 > 0:58:26Anyway, next week... it is our Christmas special!
0:58:26 > 0:58:29- It's hardly Christmas, is it? - Not really.
0:58:29 > 0:58:34- It is if you're watching this on Dave in 2016.- Good point!
0:58:34 > 0:58:38Anyway, it's us in three very cheap estate cars, plunging around
0:58:38 > 0:58:42in the heart of Africa looking for the source of the River Nile.
0:58:42 > 0:58:45Now, it is in two parts. This is quite simple.
0:58:45 > 0:58:49Part one is on next Sunday, part two, the week after that.
0:58:49 > 0:58:51Yep, and they are both worth a watch
0:58:51 > 0:58:55- because we do quite literally rewrite history.- We do indeed.
0:58:55 > 0:58:59And, on that bombshell, time to end. Thanks for watching.
0:58:59 > 0:59:00See you next week. Good night!