Episode 4

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0:00:18 > 0:00:21Hello, everybody. Hello and welcome.

0:00:22 > 0:00:26Thank you, everybody, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you.

0:00:26 > 0:00:32Now, Mercedes, a little while ago they started making AMG

0:00:32 > 0:00:36performance versions of standard cars, and then they started

0:00:36 > 0:00:41making performance versions of the performance versions.

0:00:41 > 0:00:43These were called the Blacks,

0:00:43 > 0:00:46and the latest car to get the treatment is this one.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48The SLS.

0:00:52 > 0:00:56I have driven the SLS many times and I have never once thought,

0:00:56 > 0:00:59"You know what? They should give this thing more power."

0:01:01 > 0:01:04But that's exactly what they've done.

0:01:11 > 0:01:16The standard car produces 583 horsepowers.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19This produces 622.

0:01:20 > 0:01:26And in engineering circles, 622 horsepower is known as a lot.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32It's about that much, and it's got hairs growing out of it.

0:01:33 > 0:01:38It's not just more powerful, it's also 70 kilograms lighter,

0:01:38 > 0:01:42thanks to a carbon-fibre bonnet and a titanium exhaust system.

0:01:44 > 0:01:48So now, 0 to 60 takes 3.6 seconds.

0:01:48 > 0:01:54And the top speed is as near as makes no difference 200mph.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00To harness all this firepower, the SLS Black is fitted with

0:02:00 > 0:02:05a big rear wing and an electronic differential.

0:02:10 > 0:02:14The upshot is that you can go into a corner fairly confident that

0:02:14 > 0:02:17you won't come out on the other side or backwards.

0:02:19 > 0:02:23And that changes the character of the SLS completely.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32The standard car is just a huge laugh.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34It scampers about wagging its tail

0:02:34 > 0:02:36every time you go near the accelerator.

0:02:36 > 0:02:40You just know it was built to make a lap fun.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43This, though, this was built to make a lap fast.

0:02:46 > 0:02:51And then when you start cornering, it's so much more focused

0:02:51 > 0:02:55and direct. This is a serious car.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00I bet it doesn't know a single joke, not one.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06Of course, if you turn the traction control off

0:03:06 > 0:03:09and stamp on the throttle, you can get it to misbehave.

0:03:15 > 0:03:19But you sense immediately that it doesn't want to do this.

0:03:22 > 0:03:23It doesn't like that.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27- GERMAN ACCENT:- "I am a serious racing car, English sir!

0:03:27 > 0:03:30"Don't drive with your clown shoes on!"

0:03:32 > 0:03:36Happily, even though it is a serious racing car, Mercedes hasn't felt

0:03:36 > 0:03:41compelled to make the interior as bleak as a Swedish police drama.

0:03:42 > 0:03:47You still get sat-nav and air-con and many buttons that do...things.

0:03:51 > 0:03:56So, it's luxurious and fast and very, very good,

0:03:56 > 0:04:01but today, it is rather overshadowed by this.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09Partly, that's because this is the first car ever to come

0:04:09 > 0:04:12with its own high-visibility jacket,

0:04:12 > 0:04:18and partly it's because it produces 739 horsepowers.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Want to hear what that sounds like?

0:04:21 > 0:04:25Well, turn up the volume on your TV and listen to this.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30SILENCE

0:04:30 > 0:04:32VERY LOW HUM

0:04:35 > 0:04:39Welcome, everyone, to the world's first electric supercar.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44I am astounded.

0:04:47 > 0:04:52It is as quiet as a library for church mice.

0:04:54 > 0:04:58It's so quiet, in fact, they fitted a device in the audio settings

0:04:58 > 0:05:01that generates a bit of noise to keep you awake.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Let's just turn that on.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05GENTLE HUM

0:05:09 > 0:05:11It doesn't really work. It's just a hum.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Still, it isn't the end of the world,

0:05:14 > 0:05:18because there is another way of staying awake in this car.

0:05:18 > 0:05:23You put it in sport-plus mode and put your foot down.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Holy moly! That is 100mph.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33120.

0:05:33 > 0:05:34130.

0:05:37 > 0:05:38140.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44This is mind-boggling! And listen.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46SILENCE

0:05:48 > 0:05:52To find out just how fast it is, I lined it up for a drag race

0:05:52 > 0:05:54against its petrol-powered twin.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02I have 117 more horsepowers than he does,

0:06:02 > 0:06:06but I still can't believe I'll win, because under here,

0:06:06 > 0:06:09there are 864 batteries,

0:06:09 > 0:06:11so this is half a tonne heavier.

0:06:11 > 0:06:16And it's electric, like a food blender, or torch.

0:06:17 > 0:06:22And how can a glorified torch possibly beat a 6.2 litre V8?

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Three, two, one.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32It's not a torch!

0:06:36 > 0:06:38It is a rampant rabbit!

0:06:40 > 0:06:44What in the name of God is powering this thing?

0:06:48 > 0:06:50Well, this is what an electric SLS looks like

0:06:50 > 0:06:55if you take its high-visibility jacket off. And this is the key.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58That is the electric motor. It's the size of a melon.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02It has one moving part and it produces all of its torques,

0:07:02 > 0:07:06and there are many, the instant you touch the throttle.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Now, all electric cars, the G-Wiz, the Nissan Leaf, the lot,

0:07:09 > 0:07:13have one of these, but the SLS has four.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17There's one for each wheel, so it's four-wheel-drive,

0:07:17 > 0:07:21and it has Formula One-style pushrod suspension

0:07:21 > 0:07:23and a low centre of gravity,

0:07:23 > 0:07:26because all the batteries are mounted in the spine of the chassis.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29So theoretically,

0:07:29 > 0:07:33this should have the handling to match the immense grunt.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39In comfort mode, it feels like any other car, really,

0:07:39 > 0:07:41but when you put it in sport mode,

0:07:41 > 0:07:45all sorts of electronic witchcraft starts to happen.

0:07:50 > 0:07:54In a corner, the motor's powering the inside wheels,

0:07:54 > 0:07:56and I can feel this happening.

0:07:56 > 0:08:00They use the sort of brakes to keep the line tight.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03I can feel the car being pulled in.

0:08:03 > 0:08:04TYRES SCREECH

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Then you have a system that pumps juice into the batteries

0:08:09 > 0:08:13every time you slow down, so it feels like you have engine braking.

0:08:16 > 0:08:17Even though you don't.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21And then there's a computer that decides which wheel should

0:08:21 > 0:08:26have what amount of power at any given moment. And the upshot is...

0:08:27 > 0:08:32..this doesn't feel like anything I've ever driven before.

0:08:32 > 0:08:36It feels twitchy and nervous. It feels like a thoroughbred.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47It feels brilliant.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56So, let's sum up, then.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59Instant torque, savage power, mesmerising speed.

0:09:01 > 0:09:07Mercedes quality, no noise and a petrol bill of exactly nought.

0:09:07 > 0:09:12It sounds, then, like the stuff of dreams, but there are drawbacks.

0:09:12 > 0:09:13Range, for example.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17If you wanted to drive this car from London to Manchester,

0:09:17 > 0:09:21you'd have to stop in Stoke-on-Trent and spend 20 hours charging it up.

0:09:25 > 0:09:29Mercedes themselves say that at full chat it wouldn't be able to

0:09:29 > 0:09:33do two laps of the Nurburgring. And they may have a point.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35I've only been out here for seven minutes on this run,

0:09:35 > 0:09:39and I've used 44% of the juice.

0:09:39 > 0:09:40And there's more.

0:09:40 > 0:09:47The electric SLS is £360,000, and for that,

0:09:47 > 0:09:52you could have an SLS Black and 20,000 gallons of petrol,

0:09:52 > 0:09:57which is enough to take it from here to the moon.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01As a result, you'd have to be soft in the head to buy the yellow car

0:10:01 > 0:10:04rather than the V8.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07But when there's no choice, when the oil has run out,

0:10:07 > 0:10:13this car does at least show us that the speed machines will live on.

0:10:17 > 0:10:21- Very good. But hang on.- What?

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Are you saying that you drove an electric car

0:10:23 > 0:10:26all the way around our track and it didn't break down?

0:10:26 > 0:10:28Of course not. End of the day, big red light on the dash,

0:10:28 > 0:10:30- and that was the end. - But it's working now?

0:10:30 > 0:10:32- It's working now. - That's interesting,

0:10:32 > 0:10:35because I think I'm right in saying this is the first time we've

0:10:35 > 0:10:39ever had the petrol and the electric version of the same car together.

0:10:39 > 0:10:43And I'm genuinely interested to see which is fastest round our track.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45So am I.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47And to find out, we must, of course,

0:10:47 > 0:10:50hand them over to our tame racing driver.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54Some say that he also has a button that makes him hum...

0:10:54 > 0:10:56LAUGHTER

0:10:56 > 0:10:59..and that if he played football for Manchester United, he'd be loyal,

0:10:59 > 0:11:03because he's not a potato-headed oaf.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05What he is, is the Stig!

0:11:08 > 0:11:10And they're off! The electric car gets off the line faster,

0:11:10 > 0:11:14but the V8 has the higher top speed, so coming up now to the first

0:11:14 > 0:11:18corner, the electric car using computers to control its power,

0:11:18 > 0:11:21the Black relying on the Stig's right paw.

0:11:21 > 0:11:25TWEE ACCORDION MUSIC

0:11:25 > 0:11:29OK, Chicago, often Black Mercs have too much torque, which makes them

0:11:29 > 0:11:33a bit of a handful, but this one has less than the standard car.

0:11:33 > 0:11:37Let's have a look how it deals with Hammerhead, very good.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39And it still sounds good.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Better than the electric car, that's for sure.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45LOW HUM

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Stig not listening to music in there,

0:11:47 > 0:11:49because he's trying to save juice.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Follow-through now, a chance to open them up,

0:11:51 > 0:11:53and that's properly fast past the tyres.

0:11:55 > 0:11:56Two corners left.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59Hard on the brakes, the petrol getting a bit frisky there,

0:11:59 > 0:12:03just Gambon left, piling in hard, black smoke on its tyres,

0:12:03 > 0:12:05and across the line!

0:12:06 > 0:12:07And so...

0:12:11 > 0:12:16..the electric car, 1.21.7,

0:12:16 > 0:12:18which puts it... That's amazing,

0:12:18 > 0:12:22look at that, the same speed as a V10 R8, which is pretty quick.

0:12:22 > 0:12:27The dinosaur. 1.19.0. There it is!

0:12:32 > 0:12:35I wasn't panicking! I wasn't!

0:12:36 > 0:12:41It's a relief. Right, we must move on,

0:12:41 > 0:12:44because it is now time to do the news.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48Yes, and we begin with the Government's attitude to speed limits.

0:12:48 > 0:12:49You did that last week.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52I did it last week and the week before and the week before that,

0:12:52 > 0:12:55and every single week, the producers have edited it out.

0:12:55 > 0:13:00- Yeah, they have. - But this week I have a cunning plan to make sure it stays in.

0:13:00 > 0:13:01- Do you?- Yes, I do, bear with me.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04You know earlier on this year the Government said they

0:13:04 > 0:13:08were thinking of upping the motorway speed limit to 80mph, yes?

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Well, the new Transport Minister, Patrick McLoughlin,

0:13:11 > 0:13:15recently announced that's not going to happen.

0:13:15 > 0:13:16GROANING

0:13:16 > 0:13:18- Which is a blessed relief. - What?! Why?

0:13:18 > 0:13:23Because, if you think about it, if he'd upped the speed limit to 80,

0:13:23 > 0:13:26to keep the Daily Mail happy and all the road safety charities,

0:13:26 > 0:13:29he would have had to say, "Right, we're having more police patrols,

0:13:29 > 0:13:33"more speed cameras, more drones with more Hellfire missiles,"

0:13:33 > 0:13:36to make sure people stick to 80,

0:13:36 > 0:13:40which is 15mph slower than we all drive now.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46You're absolutely right. People on the motorway drive at 95mph.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49And yet, I think I'm right in saying,

0:13:49 > 0:13:52British motorways are the safest roads in Europe, statistically.

0:13:52 > 0:13:57They are indeed. I did an experiment to prove my 95mph point this morning

0:13:57 > 0:14:01and I drove down the motorway here at exactly 70.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Don't you always drive down the motorway at exactly 70?

0:14:04 > 0:14:08Yes, I do. Yes, I do!

0:14:08 > 0:14:12No, I don't. No. I usually drive slower than that.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Do you?- But for my experiment, I sped up to 70.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18OK? I drove for 15 miles at 70.

0:14:18 > 0:14:23- Guess how many cars overtook me? - I'm guessing quite a few.- 103.

0:14:23 > 0:14:24- That was all of them.- Exactly.

0:14:24 > 0:14:28So thank you very much, Mr McLoughlin, for maintaining

0:14:28 > 0:14:32the 70mph speed limit, because that means we can all carry on doing 95.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35- And that's the end of the news. - What?! Is it?

0:14:35 > 0:14:37- Can't edit that out, can they? - Oh, I see what you did!

0:14:37 > 0:14:39That's the only thing in it! It's got to go in.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41It's good. Well done.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44And now we must move on to something else they can't edit out,

0:14:44 > 0:14:47because, as I'm sure we're all aware,

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Britain has started flooding quite often these days.

0:14:50 > 0:14:51A couple of reasons for this.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54One, a lot of people these days are buying Toyota Priuses,

0:14:54 > 0:14:58which is cooling the world down and that's causing more rain.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03And a lot of houses are being built on flood plains,

0:15:03 > 0:15:05so there's nowhere for the water to go.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Yes, and because of this, we are

0:15:07 > 0:15:10forever seeing pictures of towns that have been flooded.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13Tewksbury, Haywards Heath, Doncaster, they've all been hit,

0:15:13 > 0:15:15and whenever we look at these pictures,

0:15:15 > 0:15:18you can always see lots of marooned cars.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20And this got us thinking.

0:15:20 > 0:15:24Is there some simple way that cars can be kept mobile

0:15:24 > 0:15:28even when the street is under three feet of water?

0:15:28 > 0:15:31Now, obviously, you can't simply fit an outboard motor to the back,

0:15:31 > 0:15:34like we did with our cross-channel Nissan pick-up truck,

0:15:34 > 0:15:37because the propeller would snag submerged obstacles around towns,

0:15:37 > 0:15:42and you can't really use oars, because that would be exhausting.

0:15:42 > 0:15:46It all looked hopeless, but then I had an idea.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52MUSIC: "Ride Of The Valkyries" by Wagner

0:15:57 > 0:16:01I think this is the ideal transport for a flooded town

0:16:01 > 0:16:06such as Doncaster or Tewkesbury, because a hovercraft simply

0:16:06 > 0:16:13glides over road signs, railings, cows, just about everything, really.

0:16:17 > 0:16:21Gentlemen, I give you...the future.

0:16:21 > 0:16:25- Is it?!- Are you suggesting that

0:16:25 > 0:16:27- if you live in a town that might flood...- Yeah.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30..you go everywhere on a hovercraft in preparation for that day

0:16:30 > 0:16:32- when it does flood, if it does?- No.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35OK, you have a hovercraft for when it floods, but I'm saying

0:16:35 > 0:16:39we put wheels on the bottom of this and then it's a normal car!

0:16:39 > 0:16:42No, it isn't! It's a hovercraft with wheels on the bottom.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Or, this is my other plan,

0:16:44 > 0:16:49we get a car and turn it into a hovercraft, like this.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Oh, for God's sake. - No, he's onto something.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55If you think about it, a car already has an engine and wheels

0:16:55 > 0:16:59and space for the passengers and space for the luggage,

0:16:59 > 0:17:03so all you need to do is add to that another engine to provide the lift.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06- And another engine to provide the thrust.- There you go.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08And some skirts around the bottom.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10It's going to have to be quite big, this car.

0:17:10 > 0:17:11There are big cars - Mercedes S-Class.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14- Rolls-Royce Phantom, that's massive. - Expensive.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Maserati Quattroporti, you can pick those up for next to nothing.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19You can put three engines in that, and skirts and everything.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24'While Hammond went off to find a suitable car,

0:17:24 > 0:17:27'I spent some time becoming even more expert at driving a hovercraft.'

0:17:27 > 0:17:30Oh, I wasn't expecting that.

0:17:31 > 0:17:36'And James headed off to Top Gear's secret amphibious engineering centre

0:17:36 > 0:17:39'in the Yorkshire town of Penistone,

0:17:39 > 0:17:43'just off St Mary's Street behind Tesco's.'

0:17:45 > 0:17:49While Jeremy hangs around in the children's playground out there,

0:17:49 > 0:17:52I'll go through a few hovercraft absolute basics for you.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54If you imagine looking at it from the front, you have -

0:17:54 > 0:17:56this is very basic - a platform,

0:17:56 > 0:17:58wherever you sit and all the rest of it.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00There's a huge fan inside,

0:18:00 > 0:18:05which blows air downwards to form a cushion underneath.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08Now, the clever thing is, this is contained by a flexible

0:18:08 > 0:18:10skirt around the edge,

0:18:10 > 0:18:13and for this reason it's sort of self-regulating, because

0:18:13 > 0:18:17a certain amount of this cushion of air escapes out of the sides...

0:18:20 > 0:18:22..floating about pointlessly, so propulsion,

0:18:22 > 0:18:23you have generally another...

0:18:23 > 0:18:27'Sadly, before James had a chance to finish his interesting lecture,

0:18:27 > 0:18:29'Hammond arrived with his car.'

0:18:41 > 0:18:43It's not really a car, is it?

0:18:43 > 0:18:47- No, it's a Ford transit van, and it's perfect.- Is it? - Let me talk you through it.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51What we've got here at the front is an engine to power the front wheels

0:18:51 > 0:18:54and drive it along. Behind that, seats, room for us.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Behind that, room for our luggage.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59Here, room for an engine to provide lift,

0:18:59 > 0:19:02and at the back, room for another engine to provide thrust.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08What?! It's practically a hovercraft already, I can see it.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11It's what we need.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14'With the van parked in the workshop...'

0:19:14 > 0:19:15And stop!

0:19:18 > 0:19:21'..Richard set to work mounting the two motorcycle engines

0:19:21 > 0:19:23'that would provide lift and thrust.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28'I, meanwhile, was making good progress with the skirts,

0:19:28 > 0:19:32'until the expert hover pilot arrived...'

0:19:34 > 0:19:36- Sorry!- Thank you!

0:19:37 > 0:19:40'..and immediately started to complain

0:19:40 > 0:19:42'that we wouldn't have enough power.'

0:19:42 > 0:19:45- That is not big enough. - It is.- It isn't, it's titchy.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48It's a 90 horsepower engine, and this is doing just the lift.

0:19:48 > 0:19:52I've got another 90 horsepower engine to do the thrust. That's a lot.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54- Is it?- How much power has this got? - 35.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56And that's got to do both the lift and the thrust.

0:19:56 > 0:19:58I've got two engines, remember.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00Look, fire it up, I'll show you what that can do.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Hold on.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13- See?- So we've got...

0:20:13 > 0:20:15We've got many times that.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17We've got 35 doing both. You've got 180.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21Yeah, exactly right. The equivalent of 180 to your 35. That is plenty.

0:20:21 > 0:20:26'With the power issues settled, we went to work.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38'Then, out on the proving ground, I uncovered a problem.'

0:20:40 > 0:20:41What are you doing?

0:20:41 > 0:20:46Well, it turns out there are some surfaces where it doesn't work.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49I mean, it's all right on the wood and it's all right on the water.

0:20:49 > 0:20:55Think of scale. This is small, these rocks by comparison are enormous.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57If you scale that up...

0:20:57 > 0:21:00But if you think about it,

0:21:00 > 0:21:04our hovercraft is going to need to go over, you know, churches...

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Not a whole church!

0:21:08 > 0:21:11'But despite my concerns, the work continued.'

0:21:13 > 0:21:16My plan is to drive the van normally from the normal seat over there

0:21:16 > 0:21:20and then you switch to this seat for hover mode.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23'Soon the engines were fitted,

0:21:23 > 0:21:29'unnecessarily heavy items had been removed, and our van was ready.'

0:21:59 > 0:22:04Gentlemen, Christopher Cockerell, Barnes Wallis...

0:22:04 > 0:22:05Fred Whittle.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07- You mean Frank.- Whatever.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10They will all now be shivering in the cold dark shadow

0:22:10 > 0:22:14- of our magnificence. - It's utterly, utterly brilliant.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17Let me talk you through this thing, because along the side you'll see

0:22:17 > 0:22:21here are the skirts ready to be deployed when we switch to hover mode,

0:22:21 > 0:22:25then at the back, if we look in here, you can see mounted amidships,

0:22:25 > 0:22:28that's the second engine - that's powering the lift.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31Here at the back, the third engine - that's powering the thrust.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34The fans, the rudder - it's actually quite beautiful.

0:22:34 > 0:22:36MUSIC: Last of the Summer Wine Theme

0:22:39 > 0:22:41'But would it work?

0:22:41 > 0:22:44'Well, to find out, we took it onto the streets of Penistone.'

0:22:48 > 0:22:52What I think is critical is that for 364 days a year,

0:22:52 > 0:22:56- this has to just be a car, does it not?- Yeah.- Yes.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Just something you would use for shopping,

0:22:59 > 0:23:03taking the children to school, and it's absolutely perfect at that.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05I mean, we're driving around Penistone...

0:23:05 > 0:23:09And there's nothing to tell me there's anything unusual about this.

0:23:12 > 0:23:13What they don't realise is that

0:23:13 > 0:23:17when the River Penis bursts its banks, we're ready

0:23:17 > 0:23:19- in a way that no-one else is.- Yeah.

0:23:22 > 0:23:27- Hey, what about a name? We haven't thought of a name.- Bob.

0:23:27 > 0:23:33- Transit Fan.- Transit Fan!- Yeah. - I like that.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Or we could just call it the hovervan.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Hovervan sort of says what it does.

0:23:38 > 0:23:41It does what it says on the tin, doesn't it?

0:23:41 > 0:23:42Yeah, hovervan!

0:23:43 > 0:23:47'Having established that it worked well on the road,

0:23:47 > 0:23:51'we found a nearby reservoir where we could test it on the water.'

0:23:55 > 0:23:57- This is ideal.- This will do.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01'After just 90 minutes, the skirts were deployed,

0:24:01 > 0:24:04'the engine waterproofing system was in place,

0:24:04 > 0:24:09'and the three of us had ticked all the BBC's health and safety boxes.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16- It's quite exciting.- It is. Now, I'm switching to the hover seat.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18I can't walk.

0:24:19 > 0:24:25'As a massive crowd gathered, we began.'

0:24:25 > 0:24:28- Richard Hammond...- Yes! - Engage hover mode.- This is it!

0:24:28 > 0:24:31- Right, this is the lift engine going on first.- Yes.

0:24:31 > 0:24:35ENGINE WHIRS INTO LIFE

0:24:35 > 0:24:39- Yes!- We are rising! We are hovering.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42- Engage thrust mode!- Here we go!

0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Thrust engine is running.- Yes!

0:24:50 > 0:24:51Oh!

0:24:54 > 0:24:56We're moving. We are moving!

0:24:56 > 0:24:57It works!

0:25:00 > 0:25:01We're going in.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05And now the transition from land to water!

0:25:09 > 0:25:14- More lift, Hammond, more lift! - I'm giving it all it's got!

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Hammond, more! More!

0:25:17 > 0:25:19Hammond, more lift!

0:25:27 > 0:25:28Hang on!

0:25:28 > 0:25:32Why did that happen! We've got to save it, save it!

0:25:32 > 0:25:35OK, we've got a bit of flooding back here.

0:25:35 > 0:25:39- When I say a bit, I mean, quite a lot.- Was that full power?

0:25:39 > 0:25:42You didn't give it enough lift! You idiot!

0:25:42 > 0:25:45You went in too quickly. It swamped.

0:25:45 > 0:25:49Right, and with that, back to the drawing board.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52APPLAUSE

0:25:55 > 0:25:59Well, that was a complete catastrophe

0:25:59 > 0:26:03- and it was all Hammond's fault. - How was it my fault?

0:26:03 > 0:26:07Because, as predicted, those engines weren't powerful enough.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10No, the problem was, and I never thought I'd say this,

0:26:10 > 0:26:12James's skirt was too small.

0:26:12 > 0:26:15No, no, I'm not having that, there was nothing wrong with my skirt.

0:26:15 > 0:26:19The problem was that he just charged into the water, as usual,

0:26:19 > 0:26:20like an imbecile.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23Well, whatever, it was a total failure,

0:26:23 > 0:26:26but Barnes Wallis didn't give up in the face of adversity,

0:26:26 > 0:26:29and neither did we, as you shall see later on.

0:26:29 > 0:26:34Now, though, it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37Now, my guest tonight is enormously famous these days

0:26:37 > 0:26:39because of his massive sideburns

0:26:39 > 0:26:42and because you wouldn't want to shake hands with him.

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Don't worry, it's not John McCririck.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47It is, in fact, Wolverine.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Hugh Jackman!

0:26:49 > 0:26:53RAPTUROUS CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:53 > 0:26:55How are you?

0:26:59 > 0:27:02- Have a seat.- Thank you.

0:27:02 > 0:27:03Hands are fine.

0:27:08 > 0:27:12- That's a lot of smiling faces today. - Smiley, sweaty faces.

0:27:12 > 0:27:15I love it. I feel like I'm in Australia. Thank you for this.

0:27:15 > 0:27:19Actually, on that note, we like to feel our guests feel at home,

0:27:19 > 0:27:22- so are you enjoying the Ashes?- Yeah!

0:27:22 > 0:27:25LAUGHTER

0:27:25 > 0:27:28- Or would you prefer to talk about the Lions tour?- Yeah.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32Or the Olympics, or Andy Murray. What's going on in this country?!

0:27:32 > 0:27:35Since I came here, it's 31, you're winning every sport,

0:27:35 > 0:27:39- I'm like, what, this is wrong! - We just had a few years off.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42But you know the good thing about this being such a hot summer,

0:27:42 > 0:27:45I've been coming here for many years, my parents are English,

0:27:45 > 0:27:48and since I was 12, when I first came here,

0:27:48 > 0:27:51everyone talks about the summer of '76.

0:27:51 > 0:27:57I'm like, what kind of country do you live in when everybody reminisces about the summer of '76?

0:27:57 > 0:27:59And finally, that's over.

0:27:59 > 0:28:02Trust me, did you miss the first half of this?

0:28:02 > 0:28:04- That was- BLEEP.

0:28:06 > 0:28:09We're going to get onto Wolverine in a minute, obviously,

0:28:09 > 0:28:11the new movie, but when you were growing up,

0:28:11 > 0:28:14from what I can understand, you actually wanted to be in musicals.

0:28:14 > 0:28:18Your recent appearance in Les Miserables was more where you

0:28:18 > 0:28:20wanted to go. Am I right in saying that?

0:28:20 > 0:28:22Yeah. It's weird, I always did...

0:28:22 > 0:28:25The musical side of things was actually more of a surprise for me.

0:28:25 > 0:28:28I did a couple of eminent musicals and I was really bad.

0:28:28 > 0:28:31I remember actually doing West Side Story

0:28:31 > 0:28:34for the Eastern Suburbs Musical Society.

0:28:34 > 0:28:36I couldn't sing any of the top three notes.

0:28:36 > 0:28:38I was playing Tony and...

0:28:38 > 0:28:41# Maria, Maria... # And then it goes really high.

0:28:41 > 0:28:44Every night, I can't believe I did this on stage,

0:28:44 > 0:28:47# Maria, Maria, Ma... #

0:28:47 > 0:28:49SILENCE

0:28:49 > 0:28:51Looking into the wings...

0:28:51 > 0:28:52HE MOUTHS

0:28:52 > 0:28:54# Maria! #

0:28:54 > 0:28:55HE MOUTHS

0:28:55 > 0:28:57A really clever way.

0:28:57 > 0:29:00All my mates came, "That sound department sucked, man.

0:29:00 > 0:29:03"You were awesome, and right at the key moment, just cut out!"

0:29:03 > 0:29:08Obviously, you made a name for yourself before Wolverine came along,

0:29:08 > 0:29:12but what was it that caused you to say, "Yeah, I want to move into..."

0:29:12 > 0:29:15effectively, the kind of comic book franchise of X-Men?

0:29:15 > 0:29:17It's interesting.

0:29:17 > 0:29:20When I got the part of Wolverine, first of all,

0:29:20 > 0:29:22I would have taken it no matter what it was,

0:29:22 > 0:29:25I had no other job at the time, but I didn't realise how good

0:29:25 > 0:29:29a part it was, and in fact, my wife said, "You can't do this. This is ridiculous."

0:29:29 > 0:29:32I was auditioning, she read the scene with me and said,

0:29:32 > 0:29:36"Wolverine senses danger and claws come out of his hands. Snikt!"

0:29:36 > 0:29:40She said, "This is ridiculous. You're at the Royal National Theatre in London,

0:29:40 > 0:29:42"and now you're going to have claws."

0:29:42 > 0:29:44She chucked it down and says, "You're on your own!"

0:29:44 > 0:29:47The only time she's ever been wrong in 18 years.

0:29:47 > 0:29:51And she doesn't watch this show, so I'm all good in saying that.

0:29:51 > 0:29:55- So, Wolverine, new movie out.- Yeah. - Tell us about it.

0:29:55 > 0:29:58So the movie takes place, for X-Men fans, it's straight after X-Men 3,

0:29:58 > 0:30:02Wolverine is literally at the bottom of his life.

0:30:02 > 0:30:04He's almost made a vow not to be Wolverine,

0:30:04 > 0:30:08cos everywhere he goes, the people he loves die,

0:30:08 > 0:30:11it's filled with pain and regret, destruction,

0:30:11 > 0:30:15so everything that makes him great also brings his sadness and loss.

0:30:15 > 0:30:18That's where you find him. He then gets brought to Japan.

0:30:18 > 0:30:21This is based on one of the great comic books ever written,

0:30:21 > 0:30:24this Japanese saga, or the samurai story.

0:30:24 > 0:30:29And in he goes, and of course, he has to look inside himself to find

0:30:29 > 0:30:31the inner person and choose what he wants to be.

0:30:31 > 0:30:33Needless to say, we have a clip,

0:30:33 > 0:30:35- we'd like to show that now if we may.- Fantastic.

0:30:36 > 0:30:39My employer wants to thank you for saving his life.

0:30:39 > 0:30:40I wanted to repay you, Logan.

0:30:41 > 0:30:43I can end your eternity.

0:30:44 > 0:30:45Make you mortal.

0:30:51 > 0:30:53I'm not healing like before.

0:30:56 > 0:30:59Is that all the men you brought?

0:31:00 > 0:31:02Your grandfather called me a ronin -

0:31:02 > 0:31:04a samurai without a master...

0:31:05 > 0:31:07..who has no reason to live.

0:31:12 > 0:31:13Was he right?

0:31:18 > 0:31:19There it is.

0:31:19 > 0:31:20APPLAUSE

0:31:20 > 0:31:23Saw it the other night.

0:31:23 > 0:31:24Thank you.

0:31:26 > 0:31:28One of the things I noticed in the new film is

0:31:28 > 0:31:31the hair is a lot less extravagant than it has been in the past.

0:31:31 > 0:31:33Yeah, environmental groups really had a go at us

0:31:33 > 0:31:36for the amount of hairspray we were using.

0:31:36 > 0:31:39That must have been the ozone layer right there, gone, really.

0:31:39 > 0:31:42Completely. So we've quit that, we've moved on.

0:31:42 > 0:31:44So, you were filming a lot of that in Japan.

0:31:44 > 0:31:46- Yeah.- Isn't that a great country?

0:31:47 > 0:31:50I love Japan. I've been there maybe 11 times.

0:31:50 > 0:31:53I love the customs, their attention to detail, the food...

0:31:53 > 0:31:54The cab drivers wear gloves.

0:31:54 > 0:31:57Everything is polite and everything's...

0:31:57 > 0:32:01- But I did make a few faux pas. - In Japan?- Yeah.

0:32:01 > 0:32:04The worst one was the onsens.

0:32:04 > 0:32:07Did you go to the onsens, the bathhouses that they have?

0:32:07 > 0:32:10I know exactly what you mean. No, my penis is too small.

0:32:10 > 0:32:12LAUGHTER

0:32:17 > 0:32:19- Right.- You know what I mean?

0:32:19 > 0:32:20No!

0:32:20 > 0:32:21LAUGHTER

0:32:24 > 0:32:25APPLAUSE

0:32:27 > 0:32:28There we go!

0:32:33 > 0:32:36So anyway, for those who haven't been, they're natural springs,

0:32:36 > 0:32:38and they're hot and they're incredible,

0:32:38 > 0:32:40and it's part of the culture.

0:32:40 > 0:32:42It's a whole rigmarole, you have to put everything in the locker,

0:32:42 > 0:32:45you have to put on a robe, you put on slippers,

0:32:45 > 0:32:46and then when you go in, nothing.

0:32:46 > 0:32:49They give you a little towel, almost like a flannel sort of thing,

0:32:49 > 0:32:51and that's it, you walk in, hot.

0:32:51 > 0:32:54Hot as hell, everyone's walking around, walking around naked,

0:32:54 > 0:32:55you're there for about an hour.

0:32:55 > 0:32:58And they have one little cold pool to cool yourself down,

0:32:58 > 0:33:00cos everything's super hot.

0:33:00 > 0:33:03So, I'm dipping it in the coal pool and I'm putting it on my head,

0:33:03 > 0:33:05to cool myself down.

0:33:05 > 0:33:06And I'm sitting like this

0:33:06 > 0:33:09and I'm getting the weirdest looks from all the guys, and I thought,

0:33:09 > 0:33:11"This is really weird, I don't know what's going on."

0:33:11 > 0:33:12And then finally, one guy,

0:33:12 > 0:33:15he was sitting in the tub like this and he goes...

0:33:18 > 0:33:20LAUGHTER

0:33:20 > 0:33:22I was like, "No, mate, not my thing."

0:33:24 > 0:33:28I went, "Oh, really...? Oh, right! The flannel was for that, right!"

0:33:30 > 0:33:34I'd just been waltzing around, "Woo, hey!

0:33:34 > 0:33:35"How you doing? How you doing?!"

0:33:37 > 0:33:40I was avoiding getting on to cars, cos I'd looked into your history

0:33:40 > 0:33:42and it's not... Not as a child, anyway,

0:33:42 > 0:33:44cos you seem to have spent most of your childhood

0:33:44 > 0:33:46being driven around Australia in the back of a Volvo.

0:33:46 > 0:33:48I remember my dad getting a Volvo,

0:33:48 > 0:33:51literally because he's an accountant and he'd heard it's the safest car.

0:33:51 > 0:33:55They had those little seats in the back that would fold up backwards,

0:33:55 > 0:33:59and I basically spent my entire childhood giving the finger

0:33:59 > 0:34:02to cars behind me and almost throwing up,

0:34:02 > 0:34:05because it was the week-old cooler filled with the food,

0:34:05 > 0:34:08because my dad was really tight, so he would pack food for a week

0:34:08 > 0:34:10and we'd have it in the back of the car in temperatures like this,

0:34:10 > 0:34:12and I'd have my feet on it,

0:34:12 > 0:34:15so I'm smelling like bad liverwurst and things like that.

0:34:15 > 0:34:19Have your kids ever gone through the car-sickness phase?

0:34:19 > 0:34:21My daughter gets it a little bit, yeah.

0:34:21 > 0:34:23I just think, you know when a car manufacturer quotes the ability

0:34:23 > 0:34:25of a car to stop from 100 miles an hour,

0:34:25 > 0:34:27100 kilometres an hour, down to zero?

0:34:27 > 0:34:31You can always beat it when a child goes, "I'm feeling a bit sick."

0:34:32 > 0:34:36Because when a child is sick in a car, the car has to be written off.

0:34:36 > 0:34:38Yes, replaced immediately!

0:34:38 > 0:34:41- There is no chance!- Absolutely!

0:34:41 > 0:34:43So, obviously, you came here today,

0:34:43 > 0:34:46- temperatures very similar to Australia.- Right.

0:34:46 > 0:34:48I mean, properly hot. There is a bit of a problem, I think,

0:34:48 > 0:34:50with our new reasonably priced car,

0:34:50 > 0:34:53- because it is much faster with the air conditioning off.- Yeah.

0:34:53 > 0:34:54Apparently, you did turn it off.

0:34:54 > 0:34:57Yeah. Because I was hoping for any edge.

0:34:57 > 0:35:00- My driving ability is so bad.- Is it?

0:35:00 > 0:35:02My assistant is here, who I've known for 20 years.

0:35:02 > 0:35:06He's a mad fan of this show. He's pissed off with me that I'm here.

0:35:06 > 0:35:07He says, "You don't deserve it.

0:35:07 > 0:35:10"I've put in the effort, I've watched every episode,

0:35:10 > 0:35:12"I love this show, and look at you, you do a couple of movies,

0:35:12 > 0:35:16"you pretend to be someone else and you're driving the car with Stig!"

0:35:16 > 0:35:19- Anyway, you went out there, air conditioning off...- Yeah.

0:35:19 > 0:35:21- ..for your hot lap.- Yeah. - Anyone want to see it?

0:35:21 > 0:35:22AUDIENCE: Yes!

0:35:22 > 0:35:23Let's play the tape.

0:35:29 > 0:35:32Yeah, I feel the need for speed!

0:35:32 > 0:35:346,000, here we go.

0:35:34 > 0:35:36This is looking, actually, like you're on it,

0:35:36 > 0:35:39like you really care about whether you're going to...

0:35:39 > 0:35:41Ooh, I say, that's good grip through there.

0:35:41 > 0:35:45- Aggressive turning.- I literally look very low in the car.

0:35:45 > 0:35:49- It's a low seat.- Yes! I didn't think I was going to feel competitive.

0:35:49 > 0:35:50My God, am I feeling competitive!

0:35:50 > 0:35:53Brake a little earlier, remember what Stig said.

0:35:53 > 0:35:55I can see, the way you're driving,

0:35:55 > 0:35:57that this is a man who wants that thing to...

0:35:57 > 0:35:59- Oh-ho-ho!- Yeah!

0:35:59 > 0:36:01Come on, Jackman!

0:36:01 > 0:36:036,000, that's good.

0:36:03 > 0:36:06All right, this is my Achilles heel, this corner.

0:36:06 > 0:36:09Yeah, it's everybody's Achilles heel.

0:36:09 > 0:36:12They mostly go off at the second to last corner.

0:36:12 > 0:36:14Hugh, this is not bad at all.

0:36:14 > 0:36:15- Isn't it?- No.

0:36:15 > 0:36:17I'm actually deeply impressed.

0:36:17 > 0:36:20You're using more of the track than Benedict did last week.

0:36:20 > 0:36:24OK. Don't be a pussy.

0:36:24 > 0:36:25Stay on it. Just stay.

0:36:25 > 0:36:28Oh, can't believe I'm staying on there.

0:36:28 > 0:36:31Full accelerator. Yeah, Stig! You'd be proud of me!

0:36:31 > 0:36:32LAUGHTER

0:36:32 > 0:36:35It does take guts to do that.

0:36:35 > 0:36:38Keep your foot hard in it. And close to the tyres?

0:36:38 > 0:36:40- Whoa, yes!- Close to those tyres!

0:36:40 > 0:36:42Smell the rubber!

0:36:42 > 0:36:45Right, now, let's see if you clip this nicely...

0:36:45 > 0:36:47Yes, that is very good.

0:36:47 > 0:36:50- Oh!- Nearly off there, but held it nicely.

0:36:50 > 0:36:52Gambon, that's nicely done, as well.

0:36:52 > 0:36:54Across the line!

0:36:54 > 0:36:55Oh!

0:36:55 > 0:36:58CHEERING

0:37:00 > 0:37:01So...

0:37:03 > 0:37:06- I have your time here.- Oh, OK.

0:37:06 > 0:37:08Where do you think you came?

0:37:08 > 0:37:10I'm thinking...

0:37:10 > 0:37:12Oh, Charles Dance.

0:37:12 > 0:37:14Either just above or just below Charles.

0:37:14 > 0:37:17Just above or just below. But you're in the 1.48s, you think?

0:37:17 > 0:37:19- Yeah.- Okey-doke.

0:37:19 > 0:37:21well, you did it in 1...

0:37:21 > 0:37:2340...

0:37:24 > 0:37:26..6...

0:37:26 > 0:37:27AUDIENCE: Oooh!

0:37:27 > 0:37:30- ..1. So, you're now our third fastest!- Wow!

0:37:30 > 0:37:32CHEERING

0:37:34 > 0:37:35Mate!

0:37:37 > 0:37:38Where's Irving?

0:37:38 > 0:37:40Singing, dancing...

0:37:40 > 0:37:41Irving!

0:37:41 > 0:37:42Looking for your mate?

0:37:42 > 0:37:45Where's Irving? Irving? Where are you, Irving?

0:37:45 > 0:37:47Irving, come out. He's going to hate this.

0:37:47 > 0:37:49He said, "You were crap."

0:37:49 > 0:37:50LAUGHTER

0:37:50 > 0:37:52He said, "You're pathetic. You've embarrassed me."

0:37:52 > 0:37:54Irving, where are you? Come on, mate.

0:37:54 > 0:37:56- Third.- I'm impressed.- Yeah!

0:37:56 > 0:37:57CHEERING

0:37:57 > 0:37:59- I'm impressed.- Thank you!

0:37:59 > 0:38:01- We are all impressed. - That's on tape!

0:38:01 > 0:38:03It's on tape!

0:38:03 > 0:38:06Ladies and gentlemen, Hugh Jackman!

0:38:06 > 0:38:07Thank you.

0:38:07 > 0:38:10CHEERING

0:38:16 > 0:38:19Now, earlier on, we built a hovervan,

0:38:19 > 0:38:21which sank.

0:38:21 > 0:38:23Yeah, it worked perfectly well as a van,

0:38:23 > 0:38:25it just didn't really work as a hovercraft.

0:38:25 > 0:38:28But no matter, because we've had another go,

0:38:28 > 0:38:31ladies and gentlemen, and here it is!

0:38:31 > 0:38:33CHEERING

0:38:34 > 0:38:36Now, in the back

0:38:36 > 0:38:39I have replaced the two 90 horsepower engines with these.

0:38:39 > 0:38:44For the lift, we have the engine from a Yamaha R1 Superbike.

0:38:44 > 0:38:46And for the thrust, a compact,

0:38:46 > 0:38:50lightweight 2.4 litre V8 from a Radical track car.

0:38:50 > 0:38:54All of which means, in the back of this van,

0:38:54 > 0:38:57there is now 600 horsepower.

0:38:57 > 0:38:58- AUDIENCE:- Oooh!

0:38:58 > 0:39:01Oh, yes. I, meanwhile, have been fitting

0:39:01 > 0:39:02these new, bigger, tougher skirts,

0:39:02 > 0:39:07which you just lower in a jiffy, like so.

0:39:07 > 0:39:10And I've also added, on top of those,

0:39:10 > 0:39:14these inflatable rubber tubes, which make it a bit less sinky.

0:39:15 > 0:39:20CHURCH BELL TOLLS

0:39:22 > 0:39:26We're so confident that the mark II hovervan will work

0:39:26 > 0:39:29that we shall be testing it in our home clothes,

0:39:29 > 0:39:31but not on a reservoir.

0:39:31 > 0:39:33Instead, we shall be testing it here

0:39:33 > 0:39:36on the mighty Avon.

0:39:38 > 0:39:41With overhanging branches, submerged shopping trolleys

0:39:41 > 0:39:43and many obstacles,

0:39:43 > 0:39:46the Avon more realistically represents a flooded street.

0:39:47 > 0:39:50If our van works here, it will work

0:39:50 > 0:39:52in your town when the torrent comes.

0:39:54 > 0:39:57Right, listen. I'm going to drive.

0:39:57 > 0:40:00- Hammond, you're in charge of the engine room.- Right.

0:40:00 > 0:40:02And James, you're the navigator.

0:40:03 > 0:40:09'Brimming with confidence, we initiated the launch procedure.'

0:40:09 > 0:40:10Fire up the lift engine!

0:40:10 > 0:40:12Aye aye, Clarkson.

0:40:12 > 0:40:14ENGINE RUMBLES

0:40:18 > 0:40:20Fire up the thrust engine.

0:40:20 > 0:40:22I love all the things we have to say.

0:40:22 > 0:40:25I know. Here it comes. I'll give it a bit of a juice.

0:40:26 > 0:40:28ENGINE ROARS

0:40:31 > 0:40:33You have it. You have thrust.

0:40:37 > 0:40:40- And we're moving! We are going! - We're going right!

0:40:40 > 0:40:42- We're going sideways!- Go to port!

0:40:42 > 0:40:45- Here we go!- 600 horsepower.

0:40:45 > 0:40:47- Unleash it!- Here we go.- Oh, my God!

0:40:49 > 0:40:52- I'm engaging thrust.- It works!

0:40:52 > 0:40:54It only flipping works!

0:40:54 > 0:40:55- We're float... Oh,- BLEEP!

0:40:55 > 0:40:58- I'm drowning!- There is quite a lot of water coming in.

0:40:58 > 0:40:59- I'm turning it!- Windscreen wipers!

0:40:59 > 0:41:01Turn it more, we're going to hit the bank!

0:41:01 > 0:41:04- Hard to starboard! - Jeremy, turn right!

0:41:04 > 0:41:07I don't... You can't do that!

0:41:07 > 0:41:09- Of course it can!- We've crashed!

0:41:09 > 0:41:11CRUNCHING

0:41:11 > 0:41:13We're a bit stuck.

0:41:13 > 0:41:15This is the sort of practice you should have been doing

0:41:15 > 0:41:18while we were busy fitting engines and building this thing.

0:41:18 > 0:41:21'In my defence, hovercrafts have no brakes, no reverse,

0:41:21 > 0:41:24'extremely haphazard steering and,

0:41:24 > 0:41:26'if you cut the lift engine,

0:41:26 > 0:41:29'it can't be restarted on water.'

0:41:29 > 0:41:31You're heading for the other bank now?

0:41:31 > 0:41:33I'm coming back on the power.

0:41:33 > 0:41:34- Here comes the bank!- No brakes!

0:41:34 > 0:41:36Aaaargh! Crash!

0:41:36 > 0:41:38Boy, steer that way!

0:41:38 > 0:41:40CRUNCHING

0:41:40 > 0:41:42This river's too narrow.

0:41:42 > 0:41:43Well, it's river-shaped.

0:41:43 > 0:41:45They tend to be long and thin.

0:41:45 > 0:41:48Here we go! I'm going to give it full speed to return.

0:41:48 > 0:41:51Too much! Too much! Oh, things are working. Steer it!

0:41:51 > 0:41:55James, I am one of the world's best hovercraft drivers.

0:41:55 > 0:41:57- Oh, I can see that.- Is that why we're in a nettle bush?

0:41:57 > 0:41:59Oh, yes.

0:41:59 > 0:42:01Ah-ha! What do you think of that?

0:42:03 > 0:42:05There's a man fishing.

0:42:05 > 0:42:09I'm sorry. Sorry. It's all... Sorry.

0:42:09 > 0:42:12- Tree!- Tree!- Tree!- Tree!- Tree!- Tree!

0:42:12 > 0:42:13Oh, huge tree!

0:42:13 > 0:42:15BANG

0:42:15 > 0:42:16No brakes!

0:42:16 > 0:42:18Relax! What are you worried about?

0:42:18 > 0:42:21- We're in the tree! - The tree's coming in the...

0:42:21 > 0:42:23How can that be in the van?

0:42:24 > 0:42:25Ow! Crash!

0:42:27 > 0:42:28CRACKING

0:42:28 > 0:42:30Oh, no, we broke the window!

0:42:30 > 0:42:32We've actually broken the windscreen!

0:42:32 > 0:42:36- Yes, you have.- You've made a complete horse's arse of that.

0:42:36 > 0:42:39We can edit this out. Nobody needs know this has happened.

0:42:39 > 0:42:41- Is there a boathook, James?- Yes.

0:42:41 > 0:42:44- Push us off.- I'll come over.

0:42:44 > 0:42:45You keep an eye on that.

0:42:45 > 0:42:47- Don't let it go over eight.- Eight?

0:42:47 > 0:42:48Mind your elbow!

0:42:48 > 0:42:51Your elbow nearly killed the lift.

0:42:51 > 0:42:52Push!

0:42:53 > 0:42:56- That's more like it.- That's it.

0:42:56 > 0:42:58There you go. Go, go, go, go!

0:42:58 > 0:43:02Wipers, James! Wipers!

0:43:02 > 0:43:04They're broken.

0:43:04 > 0:43:05- Richard?- Yes?

0:43:05 > 0:43:07- I think I've got the hang of it now.- Brilliant.

0:43:07 > 0:43:11- Let's go and refuel.- Go and what?

0:43:11 > 0:43:13We've got to stop for fuel. We're running out.

0:43:13 > 0:43:15We've only been going ten minutes!

0:43:15 > 0:43:17Well, yeah, I know. But we've used it all...

0:43:17 > 0:43:19There's 600 horsepower back there! It needs a lot of fuel.

0:43:19 > 0:43:21- How big's the tank?- Two gallons.

0:43:21 > 0:43:23- Two?- Yeah!

0:43:25 > 0:43:28'On that bombshell, we headed back to the bank.'

0:43:28 > 0:43:31Hammond, get ready to kill those engines and James,

0:43:31 > 0:43:33get ready to start up the other one.

0:43:33 > 0:43:35Hammond, kill the engines now!

0:43:35 > 0:43:37- Kill!- Killed.

0:43:37 > 0:43:40- Road engine's not starting.- What?

0:43:40 > 0:43:41Why is the starter not working?

0:43:41 > 0:43:44- Because it's wet. - Why didn't you waterproof it?!

0:43:44 > 0:43:47- I didn't anticipate... - Why are we still shouting?!

0:43:48 > 0:43:52'Fortunately, getting it out of the water was no bother at all.'

0:43:59 > 0:44:04'But, as we were refuelling, we received an unpleasant surprise.'

0:44:05 > 0:44:07- Hammond?- What?

0:44:07 > 0:44:10- It's the gold envelope.- What?

0:44:10 > 0:44:13I wasn't expect...

0:44:13 > 0:44:17"You will drive your hover van from here in Stratford-upon-Avon

0:44:17 > 0:44:20"to Tewkesbury, one of the most frequently flooded towns in the UK.

0:44:20 > 0:44:24"Once there, you will show off your invention to the local residents."

0:44:24 > 0:44:26How far is that?

0:44:26 > 0:44:30- Got to be 50 miles.- 50? - How far have we just done?

0:44:30 > 0:44:33- 50 yards? - It's a lot of refuelling.

0:44:33 > 0:44:36Er...right.

0:44:39 > 0:44:40'Having saddled up...'

0:44:40 > 0:44:42I feel like Daisy Duke.

0:44:42 > 0:44:45'..we set off for Tewkesbury.'

0:44:45 > 0:44:46Engaging power.

0:44:46 > 0:44:48A full left turn.

0:44:51 > 0:44:54Oh, are we good or what?

0:44:54 > 0:44:55Excellent work.

0:44:55 > 0:44:59Continue as you are, Captain Clarkson.

0:44:59 > 0:45:01Feels good every time! I love this!

0:45:01 > 0:45:03This is a great machine.

0:45:03 > 0:45:05Brilliant machine. I mean, it really is.

0:45:05 > 0:45:09'With everything going well, we settled down for what

0:45:09 > 0:45:13'we hoped would be an uneventful maiden voyage.'

0:45:13 > 0:45:17MUSIC: "Morning Mood" from the Peer Gynt Suite by Edvard Grieg

0:45:22 > 0:45:25'But, as we arrived in the tranquil suburbs

0:45:25 > 0:45:28'of historical Stratford-upon-Avon,

0:45:28 > 0:45:32'we became conscious that there was an issue with noise.'

0:45:33 > 0:45:36ENGINE ROARS

0:45:38 > 0:45:40'And then, there was the spray.'

0:45:41 > 0:45:43Then to the left.

0:45:43 > 0:45:47Sorry, everybody! I do apologise!

0:45:47 > 0:45:50I'm so sorry! Sorry!

0:45:51 > 0:45:53How far have we come so far?

0:45:53 > 0:45:57- 300 yards.- Excellent. How long has it taken?- About 20 minutes.

0:46:04 > 0:46:06'Eventually, we arrived in the centre of Stratford,

0:46:06 > 0:46:09'and encountered our first obstacle.'

0:46:13 > 0:46:15Now, the bridge...

0:46:15 > 0:46:18- You need to know that the bridge is from 1480.- Yep.

0:46:18 > 0:46:22- Grade I listed, so don't break it. - Here we go.

0:46:22 > 0:46:27- Wipers!- It's actually working.- No, it's not. You are going to hit it.

0:46:27 > 0:46:28THUD

0:46:28 > 0:46:31- We've crashed.- The priceless bridge. - You're almost there.

0:46:31 > 0:46:33I'm bloody drenched, you idiot.

0:46:34 > 0:46:36'Having made a bit of a mess of that bridge,

0:46:36 > 0:46:40'I came up with a cunning plan for the next one.'

0:46:40 > 0:46:44I'm aiming for the "no entry" on the basis that the hovercraft...

0:46:44 > 0:46:49- That's the last place you'll go. - If you aim for something, you'll not go there.

0:46:49 > 0:46:52'Unfortunately, my plan didn't work.'

0:46:52 > 0:46:56- It's gone where I aimed it. - Yes, but is it going to clear it?

0:46:56 > 0:46:59- Oh, my God. - It's getting a bit scrapey...

0:46:59 > 0:47:02METALLIC GRATING

0:47:06 > 0:47:10- That's amazing.- We did a thing! We did a thing!

0:47:10 > 0:47:12Oh, God, rowers.

0:47:15 > 0:47:18Concentrate. Left, left, left.

0:47:18 > 0:47:22James, there's a man in a boat. There's a man in a boat.

0:47:22 > 0:47:25- You've got to miss him.- That's the RSC!- There's a man in a boat.

0:47:25 > 0:47:28Miss him. Left, left.

0:47:28 > 0:47:30Oh, my God.

0:47:30 > 0:47:32- Oh, my God.- Where is he?

0:47:32 > 0:47:38- He's here. He's here. I'm really sorry.- Sorry.- Sorry, mate.

0:47:40 > 0:47:42We're probably not that welcome here.

0:47:44 > 0:47:47'We therefore decided it would be best to get out of town.

0:47:50 > 0:47:54'But, in our haste, we became tangled in the wash from the camera boat.'

0:47:54 > 0:47:59- This is not good. We've lost all steering. We are in deep- BLEEP- here.

0:47:59 > 0:48:01Brace, brace, brace.

0:48:01 > 0:48:06Brace, brace, brace. Hold tight. Hold tight. Kill, kill, kill.

0:48:09 > 0:48:10What happened?

0:48:10 > 0:48:14- The thing with hovercrafting is it's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, disaster.- Yeah.

0:48:17 > 0:48:21'Having apologised to the owners of the boats we'd hit,

0:48:21 > 0:48:23'and the man who'd fallen in...'

0:48:23 > 0:48:26James May, consult the map. Which way?

0:48:26 > 0:48:29- To the left.- '..we refuelled and were soon on the move again.

0:48:31 > 0:48:35'And in the next village, we decided to stop for some lunch.'

0:48:35 > 0:48:39I see a rather nice little restaurant here.

0:48:39 > 0:48:41Yes, check this out.

0:48:41 > 0:48:43Private mooring for use by restaurant customers only.

0:48:43 > 0:48:48- Well, we're restaurant customers, so we can.- We're coming for lunch!

0:48:48 > 0:48:53'At this point, we discovered that Jeremy hadn't learned how to park.'

0:48:53 > 0:48:54There we go.

0:48:56 > 0:48:57Oh, God, hang on.

0:49:02 > 0:49:03I've missed again.

0:49:07 > 0:49:10- I think you've overdone it. - Where are you going to park?

0:49:10 > 0:49:14- Why can't you just park it, for God's sake?- Sorry, sorry.

0:49:14 > 0:49:17- Sorry, everybody. Sorry. - I'm not hungry.

0:49:17 > 0:49:19Why don't we just make a sign that says "sorry"?

0:49:23 > 0:49:25'We decided to abandon lunch at this point

0:49:25 > 0:49:26'and instead...

0:49:26 > 0:49:32'see how fast a hovervan could run away.'

0:49:32 > 0:49:37- OK, Hammond, give me read out on the thrust.- 7,500. 8,000.

0:49:39 > 0:49:42We are seriously moving now, gentlemen.

0:49:44 > 0:49:46James, how fast are we going?

0:49:46 > 0:49:48I can work it out with this piece of knotted rope

0:49:48 > 0:49:52- like they did on HMS victory. - Go for it.

0:49:52 > 0:49:55This is looking good now. We are in the cruise.

0:49:57 > 0:50:00Right, hang on, hang on. 20 in...

0:50:00 > 0:50:06We're doing 120 knots in an hour which is 138 miles an hour.

0:50:06 > 0:50:09138. We are shifting now.

0:50:11 > 0:50:15'And the great thing is, of course, hovervans cause no wash

0:50:15 > 0:50:18'so don't damage the wildlife or the banks.'

0:50:19 > 0:50:22We're like a breeze. Just a little gust.

0:50:23 > 0:50:26Oh, no, we're stopping. What's happened? You've dropped the...

0:50:26 > 0:50:29We're sinking. We've gone down.

0:50:31 > 0:50:33That was, something went wrong.

0:50:33 > 0:50:36I think the skirt collapsed at the front.

0:50:36 > 0:50:40'This meant we had to initiate our emergency crash procedure.'

0:50:40 > 0:50:46- Do you know what I think this calls for, gentlemen? A hit of oxygen.- Oh, yes.

0:50:46 > 0:50:48A good idea. Let's cheer ourselves up.

0:50:51 > 0:50:53- Hey!- Ah!

0:50:53 > 0:50:56- Hang on a minute. - Why is yours so small?

0:50:59 > 0:51:02Why have they given you that one?

0:51:02 > 0:51:06They've given you a sparkler canister from a Watney's Party Seven.

0:51:06 > 0:51:08One more push, and it will be out.

0:51:08 > 0:51:10Chaps, you do realise what we've just done?

0:51:10 > 0:51:13We've exhausted the air supply.

0:51:13 > 0:51:17We've used all the oxygen for fun, while sitting in a sinking van.

0:51:18 > 0:51:23This is Hovervan One calling Avon rescue.

0:51:23 > 0:51:26Avon calling, Avon calling, help.

0:51:29 > 0:51:32'Happily, because we'd only covered four of our 50 miles,

0:51:32 > 0:51:34'the crane didn't have far to come.

0:51:36 > 0:51:38'And after we'd fixed the skirt

0:51:38 > 0:51:41'and refuelled again, we were back on the road.'

0:51:41 > 0:51:47- Happy?- Yep. All is going well in the engine room.- And relax.

0:51:49 > 0:51:53'Sadly, though, the relaxing didn't last long.'

0:51:53 > 0:51:55- Oh, God, there's a lock. - We've got to go through the lock.

0:51:55 > 0:51:58Can you go through locks in a... Do they let hovercrafts in?

0:52:00 > 0:52:03'To make matters worse, there was no lock keeper.'

0:52:04 > 0:52:07- Do you two feel up to a lock? - I've never done one.

0:52:07 > 0:52:08Never done one in my life.

0:52:08 > 0:52:12You've got to get the water level, but don't shilly-shally

0:52:12 > 0:52:15because I'm going to be all by myself out here.

0:52:15 > 0:52:19'With Richard and James ashore...' Go, go. Get off!

0:52:19 > 0:52:22'..I was a multitasking machine.'

0:52:22 > 0:52:24Oh, this is tricky.

0:52:24 > 0:52:26I'm having to drive and do all the engine stuff.

0:52:26 > 0:52:32I am Mister Sulu, Scotty and Spock all rolled into one here.

0:52:32 > 0:52:37Hang on, the water in the lock has got to be the same level as the boat.

0:52:37 > 0:52:41- So we...- So we have to go down that end.- No, no, no.- Yes.

0:52:41 > 0:52:45No, really. I've got a two-gallon fuel tank. Take your time(!)

0:52:45 > 0:52:49It's quite loud when you're not on it, isn't it?

0:52:49 > 0:52:52People probably will have to get used to the idea

0:52:52 > 0:52:56when people have hovervans that canals are a little less tranquil

0:52:56 > 0:53:01than they have been historically. It's a natural progression, really.

0:53:01 > 0:53:06- You have the pony when canals first began...- Superhuman effort.- Yes!

0:53:08 > 0:53:11..then internal combustion came and boats got diesel engines.

0:53:11 > 0:53:13Now, this is the future.

0:53:15 > 0:53:17Here we go. Going in.

0:53:19 > 0:53:21Yes, bit of power.

0:53:21 > 0:53:24Power solves all things, as we know.

0:53:26 > 0:53:28Yes!

0:53:30 > 0:53:36- Right, if you wind, I'll push. - Ooohh! Look at this!

0:53:40 > 0:53:42- Locking down. Are we locking down, or...- I don't know.

0:53:42 > 0:53:45We're locking down. Keep forward... What the hell is that?

0:53:45 > 0:53:48- The boat will go wherever it goes. - Close all the paddles.- Yes. What's a paddle?

0:53:48 > 0:53:53What are they doing? Honestly, my dog would know how to work a lock.

0:53:53 > 0:53:55Look at them!

0:53:55 > 0:54:01- Sorry. Going to have to do the winding. It's down.- What?

0:54:01 > 0:54:06- It's down.- Hammond, what are you doing?- What are YOU doing?

0:54:06 > 0:54:11- Who's driving?- Oh,- BLEEP!

0:54:11 > 0:54:14- I thought it would stay there. - Of course it won't!

0:54:14 > 0:54:17The hovercraft has run amok in a lock.

0:54:17 > 0:54:20- Get back on board! - Get in the hovercraft.

0:54:20 > 0:54:22'To try and capture our errant hover van,

0:54:22 > 0:54:25'Hammond and I formed a pincer movement.

0:54:26 > 0:54:30'But sadly, as I climbed on board, the pincer movement went a bit wrong.'

0:54:32 > 0:54:33Oh, no!

0:54:36 > 0:54:37Oh, no!

0:54:40 > 0:54:41I can't breathe!

0:54:48 > 0:54:53- I can't breathe! I can't breathe! - Have you fallen in?- No.

0:54:53 > 0:54:57I'm the wettest a human being has ever been!

0:54:57 > 0:54:59Sitrep. We've...

0:54:59 > 0:55:02- Ruined it.- Well, we've knocked a man out of his boat.

0:55:02 > 0:55:06Now we've jammed up the whole River Avon. Now, here's what we must do.

0:55:06 > 0:55:09We must get it out of the lock and then we will get a tow

0:55:09 > 0:55:12and then we can edit all of this out.

0:55:14 > 0:55:17'Having done all of that, we were back on the move...'

0:55:17 > 0:55:21- James, which way is it here? - Keep right.

0:55:21 > 0:55:27'..and reflecting on the many positives that had come out of our journey so far.'

0:55:27 > 0:55:30- We have had some calamities... - A couple.

0:55:30 > 0:55:34- But they're not bad ones. - Not really.- Weren't for us.

0:55:34 > 0:55:37Apart from the broken windscreen,

0:55:37 > 0:55:42the hover van is working just as well as it ever has.

0:55:42 > 0:55:44Yes, it's expensive.

0:55:44 > 0:55:46I don't think we'd be able to sell this for much less than

0:55:46 > 0:55:49- a quarter of a million pounds. - Realistically, no.

0:55:49 > 0:55:52- But...- It's money well spent.

0:55:52 > 0:55:57..when you're up to here in the sitting room and you could have made your escape,

0:55:57 > 0:56:01you could have done and you chose not to buy one of these vans,

0:56:01 > 0:56:03that is, I think, the essence of it.

0:56:04 > 0:56:08- Hang on a minute.- What? - Hang on.- What?

0:56:10 > 0:56:14- Which way did you go back there? - You said right.- I said left.

0:56:14 > 0:56:18No, you didn't, James. You said right. Whoa... What's that?

0:56:18 > 0:56:20Is that a weir?

0:56:27 > 0:56:29- Turn it round.- Turning, turning. - Go the other way.

0:56:29 > 0:56:35Yamaha, give me every single rev that Yamaha engine has got.

0:56:37 > 0:56:42- Give it more.- There is no more. - It's on the limit. There is no more.

0:56:42 > 0:56:44- That's all there is. - We're being sucked.

0:56:46 > 0:56:49- I'm going to turn it round. - Why are you turning right now?

0:56:49 > 0:56:52- Do you want to go over backwards? - I don't want to go over it at all.

0:56:52 > 0:56:56He's right. Go over forwards. It's better.

0:56:56 > 0:56:58- Holy- BLEEP! BLEEP!

0:56:58 > 0:57:03Hammond, I want every bit of lift you can manage.

0:57:05 > 0:57:07- I'm giving it everything it's got! - We're going over!

0:57:07 > 0:57:10- We are going down!- Oh, my God!

0:57:10 > 0:57:14- Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - RICHARD YELLS

0:57:17 > 0:57:25- Yes!- Oh, God, we're through! - It worked! It worked!

0:57:25 > 0:57:27- We went down a weir! - And we're alive!

0:57:27 > 0:57:30- What a machine!- That's the best thing I've ever survived!

0:57:30 > 0:57:32I knew that would be all right!

0:57:32 > 0:57:36- Did you?- I'm going to go back up. - Don't be bloody stupid.

0:57:36 > 0:57:40You couldn't turn it round up there, it's not going to go back up.

0:57:40 > 0:57:42Yes, come on, hovervan.

0:57:42 > 0:57:44In the Shakespearean style,

0:57:44 > 0:57:48horsepower, horsepower, my kingdom for some horsepower!

0:57:48 > 0:57:52- It won't go up! - It will!- It's not going to work!

0:57:52 > 0:57:55- You can't give it that many revs!- Power!

0:58:01 > 0:58:05- Power!- Jeremy, that's too much... Oh, my God!- What's that smoke?

0:58:05 > 0:58:07You've ruined the engine!

0:58:07 > 0:58:11- You've blown the engine up! - Come on! Power!- You've killed it!

0:58:11 > 0:58:13- ENGINE CUTS OUT - Oh.

0:58:13 > 0:58:15You pillock!

0:58:22 > 0:58:24And with that, back to the studio.

0:58:26 > 0:58:28APPLAUSE

0:58:31 > 0:58:35When Chuck Yeager crashed that starfighter,

0:58:35 > 0:58:36nobody called him a pillock.

0:58:36 > 0:58:40No, but, it was because of you that we didn't make it to Tewkesbury.

0:58:40 > 0:58:44It doesn't matter. Everybody's seen the film now.

0:58:44 > 0:58:46They know that our hovervan is as an unqualified success.

0:58:46 > 0:58:52Yes, yes, it is, apart from the noise, the spray, the terrible danger,

0:58:52 > 0:58:56impracticality, unreliability, total uncontrollability,

0:58:56 > 0:58:59catastrophic fuel consumption, terrible expense

0:58:59 > 0:59:03and disastrous damage we caused to Warwickshire with it, yes.

0:59:03 > 0:59:06Yeah, apart from those fundamental flaws,

0:59:06 > 0:59:08which render it completely useless,

0:59:08 > 0:59:11it is genuinely a world-class machine.

0:59:11 > 0:59:16We have done something right. And on that bombshell, it's time to end.

0:59:16 > 0:59:20Thank you so much for watching. See you next week. Good night!

0:59:33 > 0:59:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd