0:00:12 > 0:00:15Tonight, I point at some fields,
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Richard minces round a corner,
0:00:18 > 0:00:20and James describes his ideal night in.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Vomit and sputum, and other bodily secretions.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:29 > 0:00:34Hello, good evening. Thank you so much. Thank you.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Thank you. Now, we begin...
0:00:37 > 0:00:40We begin with the Range Rover Sport.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43After eight years, it's gone out of production.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45They're not going to make any more.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47And this is a good thing,
0:00:47 > 0:00:51because there's always been one major problem with it,
0:00:51 > 0:00:54as Richard Hammond shall now explain.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Here we are, then. The soon-to-be deceased Range Rover Sport.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09There are many things you might object to about this car.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14But the biggest problem has always been very simple.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17It's the badge - Range Rover Sport.
0:01:18 > 0:01:24First of all, underneath this is the chassis of a Land Rover Discovery
0:01:24 > 0:01:25so it's not a Range Rover,
0:01:25 > 0:01:28and because it's the chassis of a Land Rover Discovery,
0:01:28 > 0:01:30it weighs nearly three tonnes.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33So it's not sporty, either.
0:01:35 > 0:01:40Its success hinged on appealing to people who didn't know that,
0:01:40 > 0:01:41or indeed, anything.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48Basically, this car was only bought by two types of people - footballers
0:01:48 > 0:01:51and people who were married to footballers.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56And the Sport's stamping ground is this place.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01The Premier League ghetto of Wilmslow in Cheshire.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Genuine Georgian electric gates right there.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20And there. And there.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25Georgian security cameras.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33Manicured lawns, very popular for spit-roast barbecues.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Apparently, they drink more champagne per head here
0:02:37 > 0:02:38than in any other county.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Class.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51The people of Wilmslow are going to miss this car,
0:02:51 > 0:02:55but before they start weeping onto their marble breakfast bars,
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I have some good news.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Because now...there is a new one.
0:03:06 > 0:03:12With prices starting at £50,000, it's cheaper than a proper Range Rover
0:03:12 > 0:03:18and because it's available with seven seats, it's more practical, as well.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20But, like I said at the beginning,
0:03:20 > 0:03:23the old Range Rover Sport was a bit of a fraud.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27The question must be, is this one really a Range Rover
0:03:27 > 0:03:28and is it a Sport?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Let's start with that first bit.
0:03:33 > 0:03:38No matter how much wood and leather it's fitted with, the mark
0:03:38 > 0:03:42of a real Range Rover is being able to tackle this sort of stuff.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Important work being done, coming through.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Well, the first thing you need to know
0:03:55 > 0:03:59is that this is not a Discovery in a Range Rover frock.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01It has the proper Range Rover chassis
0:04:01 > 0:04:05and the same terrain response system, as well.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08This analyses the ground you're driving over
0:04:08 > 0:04:11and automatically adjusts the suspension, gearbox,
0:04:11 > 0:04:13brakes and engine output to suit.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Big, big, almost vertical hill now!
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Very steep, very steep, very muddy.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35That is...that is a climb.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Well done, you.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44Besides the terrain response, there's also a computer
0:04:44 > 0:04:49that disconnects the anti-roll bars to increase wheel articulation.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54We're over.
0:04:54 > 0:04:59I mean, that was a big old cross-axling hump to get over.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00It didn't even notice!
0:05:02 > 0:05:04And there's more.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Ah! Water.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Good. Gives me a chance to play with something else I have on board
0:05:09 > 0:05:11and that is...
0:05:12 > 0:05:14..sonar. Kid you not!
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Sonar transmitters and receivers in the door mirrors
0:05:24 > 0:05:26measure the depth of the water.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28It will make a big noise if it's getting too deep.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32SONAR BEEPS SOFTLY
0:05:32 > 0:05:34It's not worried, not worried.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41I feel like I'm driving a luxury hotel room through a swamp.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Cool.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Oh-ho! That's steep!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52CRUNCH
0:05:54 > 0:05:58Just pretty much like it never...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00There, I think I've repaired that.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04More or less. That's how it was.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Good.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08So, there we are.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12This car - in the right hands - is very good off-road.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15And now, we must move on,
0:06:15 > 0:06:17to this bit of the badge.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Welcome to Donington Park racetrack,
0:06:23 > 0:06:27and if the Sport is as sporty as Land Rover claims,
0:06:27 > 0:06:29it should put on a good show here.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Now, you can get these with a V6 or a V8 diesel.
0:06:43 > 0:06:48The one I'm in is the supercharged petrol V8 with 503-brake horsepower,
0:06:48 > 0:06:50so that is the power taken care of.
0:06:51 > 0:06:56And because it's built on the brand-new all-aluminium chassis of the proper Range Rover,
0:06:56 > 0:07:00it's getting on for half a tonne lighter than the old Sport.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06That turn, lift, and then it comes around and then bang!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09503-braked all four wheels and off you go!
0:07:14 > 0:07:17And as well as the weight loss,
0:07:17 > 0:07:20the computer-controlled suspension fights body roll,
0:07:20 > 0:07:24and there's an active rear diff like you'd get on a BMW M5.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29It also has something called torque vectoring,
0:07:29 > 0:07:33which dictates how much power is sent to each of the wheels and when.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36I mean, that is supercar stuff.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39That's what you get on the McLaren 12C road car.
0:07:41 > 0:07:42What's staggering me right now
0:07:42 > 0:07:45is that hurling this car around this racetrack,
0:07:45 > 0:07:49it doesn't feel like I'm asking it to do anything it doesn't want to do.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51It feels at home.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57All in all, on a track, it's good. But how good?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Well, to find out,
0:08:01 > 0:08:05we must, as ever, call on the help of the world's chattiest racing driver.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Today, The Stig is in a Mini John Cooper Works GP,
0:08:08 > 0:08:12one of the most hardcore hot-hatches you can buy.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17And now, he's going to use it to set a lap time.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19When you're ready...go!
0:08:34 > 0:08:35Now, let's find out
0:08:35 > 0:08:39if that can be beaten by the big, bulky four by four.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42And to oversee proceedings, I shall ride shotgun.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47The beauty of this is,
0:08:47 > 0:08:52he has no idea what that last car was called, no idea what he's in now.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Doesn't care. No bias, you see.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58All he can do is try and go as fast as he can.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03And we're off!
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Head towards the first corner, not braking at all for the first corner.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Oh, that's very, very quick down there!
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Some wee might have come out there.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Whoa! Brakes work. That's good.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I'm not worried about putting him off
0:09:22 > 0:09:26because this is just like a quacking noise for him. It's irrelevant.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31It's worth remembering about now
0:09:31 > 0:09:34that this is still a very big, heavy car.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37It weighs more than the heaviest Mercedes S-class.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42But even at Stig speed, the Sport seemed to have everything in order.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46We should be The Leaning Tower of Range Rover Sport right now,
0:09:46 > 0:09:49but somehow we're not. It's fantastic!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52TYRES SQUEAL
0:09:52 > 0:09:56We just crossed over a minute.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58That's the longest protracted tyre squeal
0:09:58 > 0:10:01in the history of tyres and squealing.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Oh, that is... My, that was flying.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Chicane! That is fast.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15And on to the final straight.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17129.8 to beat.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25129.5. There it is.
0:10:28 > 0:10:33So, after years of writing cheques it can't cash,
0:10:33 > 0:10:40this car has finally earned the right to be called the Range Rover Sport.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51- Massively better than the old one. Massively better.- Yeah.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55And definitely worthy now of the Range Rover Sport badge,
0:10:55 > 0:10:59but I'd still prefer to have the big proper Range Rover.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02No, because if you buy the big one, you'll spend half your time
0:11:02 > 0:11:04wishing you'd saved 20 grand and bought the Sport.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06No, because you see, the thing is,
0:11:06 > 0:11:09the proper Range Rover has a split tailgate,
0:11:09 > 0:11:13which all Range Rovers should have. Look. That one doesn't have this.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15No, but the Range Rover Sport is better-looking.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19It's better to drive, and you can get it with seven seats.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Yes, but when I take my dogs for a walk, OK,
0:11:21 > 0:11:23they leap out and I look at that
0:11:23 > 0:11:27and think, "Yes! You know what, I'll have a nice sit-down."
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- So your walks are spent sitting down? - Yeah, I like sitting down.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34What, so you'd spend £20,000 basically on a bench?
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Why wouldn't you buy the Sport
0:11:35 > 0:11:39and one of those folding chairs from a petrol station for a quid?
0:11:39 > 0:11:40LAUGHTER
0:11:40 > 0:11:42But it isn't just the bench.
0:11:42 > 0:11:47This is bigger, and bigger, as we know, is always better than smaller.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Well, not always, not in...
0:11:48 > 0:11:50LAUGHTER
0:11:50 > 0:11:51Not in bruises, it's not.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Not bruises, no. Premium Bond wins.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Heart attacks.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57Erm...
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Fireworks.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Unexpected bills.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Ladies, can you think of anything which is better
0:12:04 > 0:12:06when it's bigger than smaller?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08LAUGHTER
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Now, the news. And a couple of weeks ago,
0:12:10 > 0:12:13on the way back from the show, going along the A3,
0:12:13 > 0:12:16I was held up for an hour and a half by an accident.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18When I eventually got to the front of the queue,
0:12:18 > 0:12:20expecting a scene of devastation,
0:12:20 > 0:12:24I found a Fiat 500 with the bumper hanging off at one end...
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Oh, no(!) - ..two of the three lanes closed,
0:12:26 > 0:12:30and then just a load of people in uniforms sort of milling about.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32These people in uniform, James, let me guess,
0:12:32 > 0:12:36were they by any chance Highway Agency Traffic Enforcement Officers?
0:12:36 > 0:12:40- Ah, yes.- I knew they would be. We've spoken about these people before
0:12:40 > 0:12:42and I think we should speak about them again
0:12:42 > 0:12:44because they were employed by the Highways Agency
0:12:44 > 0:12:49- to keep the roads open, and all they ever do is shut them.- Yeah.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52As soon as they get their first job, "Right, must close the road."
0:12:52 > 0:12:54"Dislodged door mirror? Close the road."
0:12:54 > 0:12:56"Child a bit carsick? Close the road."
0:12:56 > 0:12:59"Someone says they've got whiplash? Close the road. It's serious."
0:12:59 > 0:13:04Whiplash, by the way, is not a serious injury, it's insurance fraud.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07And that's all they do and they've got to be stopped.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I think they should only be allowed to close the road
0:13:10 > 0:13:13if certain words are being used to describe the incident.
0:13:13 > 0:13:18"Inferno", "crater", "apocalyptic."
0:13:18 > 0:13:20- "Felt in Japan."- Yes.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24- "Can't find the head."- Yes, yes.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27If Sally Traffic says that on the traffic report,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30"Can't find the head," then you can think about closing the road.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33But you still have to ring somebody for permission
0:13:33 > 0:13:35and I'm afraid that somebody has to be me.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37I'd basically never give them permission.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- I would remind them that their job is to clear up litter.- Yes.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44They are, as you once described, they're basically Wombles.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Yes, it's a lovely job and they should appreciate what they've got.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51It's fun. They can work underground, overground.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55- They could make good use of the things they find.- Yes, they could.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59- Things that everyday folk just leave behind.- What an opportunity.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02I think we should dress them up like actual Wombles.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06Come on, who wouldn't want to see a Womble by the side of the road?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09I wouldn't mind being stopped by a Womble
0:14:09 > 0:14:13and it would be good for your own safety because nobody would want to run over a Womble, would they?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15- You'd be careful. - You'd be heartbroken!
0:14:15 > 0:14:16They wouldn't need hi-vis.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18No, anyway, let's move on.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Now Mazda and Alfa Romeo have announced they're going to do
0:14:21 > 0:14:24a joint project to make a small sports car.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Mazda will call theirs the MX5,
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Alfa will call theirs the Spider.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33The trouble is, Alfa Romeo once did this in the past.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- They teamed up with Nissan, remember this?- Yes.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38They teamed up with Nissan and we thought, what a great plan.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Alfa does the styling and the engine and then Nissan builds it.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47- But they did it the other way around.- Yeah, they did.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50It was the stupidest decision in history.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53This is what we got, ladies and gentlemen. The Arna.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55AUDIENCE GROANS Oh, dear.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Styled by Nissan, built by Alfa Romeo.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01It's a bit like going to Peter Crouch and Abbey Clancy and saying,
0:15:01 > 0:15:06"Right, Abbey, you take the penalty and, Peter, you model bikinis."
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- It's that idiotic. - They couldn't be more wrong.
0:15:10 > 0:15:16So for this MX5/Spider, job one, make sure Mazda build it.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18- That's essential. - Mazda do the building.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Alfa do the styling, engine?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Alfa do the engine and the styling,
0:15:23 > 0:15:28but welding, soldering, doing up the bolts, that's Mazda's job.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30I really do want to see this Alfa Mazda.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33I think an MX5 Spider joint-venture,
0:15:33 > 0:15:34that could be brilliant.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Now I want to move it onto something really important.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42A few months ago there was a bit of a brouhaha about town centres
0:15:42 > 0:15:45in Britain dying, all the shops closing down.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48And we suggested on this show that this is because
0:15:48 > 0:15:51you aren't really allowed to park anywhere in a town centre,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54so people go to out-of-town shopping centres, where you can park.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58We said they needed to relax the parking arrangements.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02- Well, we have a powerful ally. - Do we? Is it Barack Obama?
0:16:02 > 0:16:06- No, not Barack Obama.- Darth Vader?
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- No, Eric Pickles.- Brilliant.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12- Who's Eric Pickles? I've no idea. - Do you not know who he is?
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Well, he's not Darth Vader, is he?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Eric Pickles, I can actually draw him.
0:16:16 > 0:16:21Cos he's got an incredibly small face, he's got a small face
0:16:21 > 0:16:24and then he's got really quite a big head.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26So he actually looks like that.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- He doesn't look like that.- He does.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Put a proper picture of him on the screen.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Oh, God, he looks like that. He does look like that.
0:16:37 > 0:16:42That's amazing. What a fabulous arrangement. Look at that.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44You can draw him, it's really quite good.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47You can have your own personal Eric Pickles on your thumb.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49LAUGHTER
0:16:49 > 0:16:52- Wow!- It's Eric Pickles!
0:16:53 > 0:16:55That's brilliant.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59I like his face. That's a good face.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Excellent face work.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Anyway, Eric has said, OK, and he is a government minister,
0:17:04 > 0:17:07he said that you should be allowed to stop on a single yellow
0:17:07 > 0:17:10or a double yellow line just for a few minutes,
0:17:10 > 0:17:12while you pop into a shop to get a pint of milk.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14That sounds like perfectly good common sense.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- "I'm just popping in to the shop, out in a minute."- Hang on, though.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20This is the BBC, let's not forget, so in the interests of balance
0:17:20 > 0:17:24and impartiality, I will think of why that isn't a good idea.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26It's a great idea.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28LAUGHTER
0:17:28 > 0:17:31So there we are, we've addressed all the problems and we can say,
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Mr Pickles, implement it straightaway
0:17:34 > 0:17:36or we shall park on your substantial face.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39To be fair, you could get about ten cars on there.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42If you look, he's got a mini-roundabout on his chin.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- I like the sound of Eric Pickles. - He sounds brilliant!
0:17:44 > 0:17:47He talks good sense and he's called Eric Pickles.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51I think we should have him on the show in the Reasonably Priced Car,
0:17:51 > 0:17:53but here's the spin, here's the trick.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57We tell him the Reasonably Priced Car is an Ariel Atom,
0:17:57 > 0:17:59because I've got a wobbly face that goes a bit like that.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04- Imagine what his face would be like! - It could go inside out entirely.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09- Amazing.- Who here thinks we should get Eric Pickles on the show?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11CHEERING
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- Come on, Eric!- Please come on Top Gear. We want you.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Moving on, a lot of car-makers have got it into their heads
0:18:18 > 0:18:22that anyone who spends £300,000 plus on a car will want only two seats
0:18:22 > 0:18:25and an absolutely enormous top speed.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28The Lamborghini Aventador, for example.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32And that's great, but what if you're not really interested in speed
0:18:32 > 0:18:38and you want more than two seats? Well, how about this?
0:18:38 > 0:18:42It is the long-awaited replacement for the Routemaster.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46It costs £330,000 and it's known,
0:18:46 > 0:18:52rather unimaginatively, as the NBFL, the New Bus For London.
0:18:52 > 0:18:59But could it be used as a private car, I wonder?
0:18:59 > 0:19:05Could this, in fact, be the NCFS, the New Car For Somerset?
0:19:08 > 0:19:12So, here we are. And the first problem you notice
0:19:12 > 0:19:16with the new London bus is that it's a bit complicated.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18So you can't just get in it and go.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25'Fire system pressure OK.'
0:19:28 > 0:19:32Ignition system. Right. Here we go.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Cock.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42HISSING
0:19:42 > 0:19:46- 'Tyre system pressure OK.'- Hang on!
0:19:49 > 0:19:53- 'Tyre system pressure OK.' - Oh, bollocks.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Eventually, though, if you press absolutely everything
0:20:00 > 0:20:02it will actually start and set off.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08Look at me! Look at my big steering wheel.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Sorry!
0:20:11 > 0:20:14But how does it get on as a car?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Well, if I'm honest, it is quite wide.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24And, yeah, all right, very occasionally the height is an issue.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29- BEEP- Nora!
0:20:29 > 0:20:35But even though it's 35 feet long, it's not hard to drive at all.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39The steering is light and quite direct.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44It lacks the crispness that you find in, say, the Ferrari 458
0:20:44 > 0:20:45but it's not bad.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50What's more, unlike most cars in a similar price bracket,
0:20:50 > 0:20:53it's extremely home-grown.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56It's not something that's just been badged up over here.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00It's all made in Britain. The chassis, the bodywork, the glass.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04It keeps British people employed, it promotes British skill,
0:21:04 > 0:21:08it advertises workmanship. This is a dead-end. Cock!
0:21:08 > 0:21:11How did I do...? It didn't say dead-end
0:21:11 > 0:21:13at the beginning of the road.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18'This, then, would be a good place to test manoeuvrability.'
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Right, I can go right up to that because I'm right at the front of the bus.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24'This did attract a crowd.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28'But if you try doing a three-point turn in a Lamborghini,
0:21:28 > 0:21:30'you get a crowd, as well.'
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- 'Tyre system pressure OK.'- Oh, God.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Can you look at the back for me?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Can you check I don't knock a building over?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41It's like Victorian Britain.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43I've employed some children to do something useful.
0:21:43 > 0:21:48'The only difference is that people do tend to mistake this for a bus.'
0:21:48 > 0:21:52Mind the dog! '..and get on it.'
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Oi!
0:21:58 > 0:22:04God above! Get off, you pesky, meddling kids. Off, off! Off, off.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09No mobile phones, no pressing the button. Off, off, off, off.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Stay off the bus.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19I've locked myself out. I've locked myself out of the bus.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24'Having sorted out the problem - with pliers -
0:22:24 > 0:22:29'I immediately crashed into a Volkswagen Beetle.' Yi-yi-yi!
0:22:30 > 0:22:33'And then I nearly hit a bridge.'
0:22:33 > 0:22:354.4? We're 4.42! Ah!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39God, this is exhausting.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46But with the road ahead mercifully free of traffic,
0:22:46 > 0:22:51there was time to talk about some of the bus's hi tech features.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53It's a hybrid bus, this.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56It has a diesel engine and it has an electric motor.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59The electric motor always drives the wheels.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03The diesel engine generates electricity for the batteries.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05So it is actually like a Fisker Karma.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09The 0-60 time is not quoted.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Primarily because it won't do 60.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16But it will accelerate at 1m per second. And that's good.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18That means people standing up won't fall over.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23So what about the styling?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Well, it was created by the same people
0:23:26 > 0:23:29who did the amazing Olympic cauldron.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32And they've done another great job on this.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40From the back, it looks like Phil Oakey's haircut, out of The Human League.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43All right, it is quite boxy.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46But that's because it's a bus.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49A point that becomes obvious when you step inside.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Over its lifetime, it's reckoned that about four million people
0:23:52 > 0:23:56will get on and off it so it is a bit of a collection point
0:23:56 > 0:24:00for vomit and sputum and other bodily secretions.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04So this floor, rubberised cork for grip, with drainage channels,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06so that the blood runs out.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09There are three doorways and two staircases
0:24:09 > 0:24:14so that desperate teenagers can get upstairs as quickly as possible.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18There are 16 CCTV security cameras on board,
0:24:18 > 0:24:21and this upholstery, which is inspired by that used
0:24:21 > 0:24:25on the original Routemaster, so that we find it comforting and familiar.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27And then there's this, which I particularly like.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30This screen tells you when you get on the bus
0:24:30 > 0:24:32whether or not the top deck is full,
0:24:32 > 0:24:35so you don't waste your life going up and down the stairs.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Now, handling.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42On a road like this, in a supercar, you'd be clammy-handed
0:24:42 > 0:24:46and frightened, but in my bus, I was very relaxed.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48# Da-da, da-da-da... #
0:24:49 > 0:24:54And this got me thinking. How would the bus cope with a track day?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Now you might think we're just being deliberately silly
0:25:06 > 0:25:08in a Top Gear, sort of, way, but are we?
0:25:08 > 0:25:13Because the NBFL has a lot of features that you'd want in a track day car.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18It's rear-engined, like a Porsche 911, it's rear wheel drive.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22It has massive tyres. And then if we move down to the front...
0:25:27 > 0:25:30..we find excellent all-round visibility, a lofty,
0:25:30 > 0:25:32commanding driving position
0:25:32 > 0:25:35that will give me a good view of all the bends.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Unfortunately, while that sounded good in the paddock,
0:25:40 > 0:25:42there were some issues.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Bandits on my six.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Yobbo!
0:25:54 > 0:25:58On the straights, for instance, it was woefully slow.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00More speed!
0:26:05 > 0:26:09But in the corners, you could at least behave like a bus driver.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13I've shut the door on the Porsche.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17Your Oyster card is about to expire!
0:26:20 > 0:26:24CHUCKLING
0:26:24 > 0:26:27And across the line!
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Thank you.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34I have never enjoyed my time
0:26:34 > 0:26:36on a race track as much as that.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44In fact, I enjoyed my whole day with the bus. There are a few drawbacks.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Parking, fuel consumption, reversing,
0:26:47 > 0:26:50but all that is true of the Bugatti Veyron, as well.
0:26:50 > 0:26:54On the plus side, it's roomy, it's distinctive,
0:26:54 > 0:26:56and it's extremely nice to drive.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03All in all, I think it would make a super car.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Hang on.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- Hang on a minute.- What?
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Have you completely taken leave of your senses?
0:27:19 > 0:27:24Are you seriously proposing THIS as an alternative to THIS?
0:27:24 > 0:27:29No, look, Hammond, let me explain. Lord Sir Sugar, he is a wealthy man,
0:27:29 > 0:27:33but he's not interested in doing nought to 60 in two seconds, is he?
0:27:33 > 0:27:36If he had one of these, he could take all his mates, well,
0:27:36 > 0:27:38if he's got any, and have a lovely day out.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40It's hardly practical, is it?
0:27:40 > 0:27:44- No, Hammond, I think he's onto something.- Oh, for God's sake...
0:27:44 > 0:27:46No, no, because if you wanted a Lexus LFA,
0:27:46 > 0:27:49but you'd had a papal attitude to birth control -
0:27:49 > 0:27:52a lot of children - this is ideal.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Exactly right. And you don't have to drive,
0:27:54 > 0:27:56you could get somebody to drive it for you.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59You could call him the, I don't know, the bus driver.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- Oh, for crying out loud! - Hang on, how's this for an idea?
0:28:02 > 0:28:05You get the local authority to buy the bus
0:28:05 > 0:28:08and then you can just use it now and then in return for a small fee.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11No, James, that would be communism.
0:28:11 > 0:28:15Anyway, it's time now to put a Star in our Reasonably Priced Car.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18Now, my guest tonight is an Australian who lives in Britain,
0:28:18 > 0:28:21but, unusually, he doesn't work in a pub.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25Instead, he works in the marketing department
0:28:25 > 0:28:29of a large energy drinks company and he's just handed his notice in.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mark Webber.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Mark Webber!
0:28:38 > 0:28:40How are you?
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Have a seat. Have a seat.
0:28:47 > 0:28:51One of the most popular figures, I say, in Formula 1.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Now, we have so much in common.
0:28:53 > 0:29:00We have the same body fat index, I know that. Why are you laughing?
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Exactly the same. But the main thing we have in common,
0:29:02 > 0:29:05apart from the same body fat index,
0:29:05 > 0:29:09is cycling.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11I'm now a cyclist.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14I hear it's a new passion for you.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16And you, of course, are well-known as a cyclist.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20- You do a lot of competing.- I've done a little bit over the years.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Somebody said you are the fittest driver.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25I'm in reasonable shape. I think all the guys are fit now.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27If you're the fittest Formula 1 driver,
0:29:27 > 0:29:29you've got to be one of the fittest athletes.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32If we did lots and lots of different challenges, I think, yeah.
0:29:32 > 0:29:35That would be good. Let's get you all playing all the different sports.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Play football? Ours or your silly football?
0:29:37 > 0:29:41We won't get onto the Lions and Australia. We'll leave that well alone.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44Somebody's here. Somebody understands what you're on about.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47Lions and Wallabies, we really enjoyed that.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50And the Ashes.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52AUDIENCE CHEERING
0:29:52 > 0:29:55You must have really enjoyed living here these last few years.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57I thought the previous Ashes was quite a good series.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00I mean, all the South Africans played well for you guys.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06- So how much mileage have you done on the bike?- On the bike?
0:30:06 > 0:30:08I've done...three.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10Three miles.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13One thing I will say about cycling is, it is, well,
0:30:13 > 0:30:15it's pretty dangerous.
0:30:15 > 0:30:19Over the years, you've had a number of car accidents, let's be honest.
0:30:19 > 0:30:20If you race cars, you'll crash cars.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23We've got a photograph of a crash. I believe it was at Le Mans.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26- A still photo. Yeah, this is you in a Mercedes.- Yep.
0:30:26 > 0:30:30I say car crash, that is a plane crash going on. How did that happen?
0:30:31 > 0:30:35Actually, in that era, the late '90s, the cars were super unsafe,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38so a lot of cars were flying. Just the regulations.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40So you're sitting in there, thinking...?
0:30:40 > 0:30:43I'm thinking, obviously I'm now out of control.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Believe it or not, I'm now out of control.
0:30:46 > 0:30:50As arrogant as us boys are, I have now lost control of that car.
0:30:50 > 0:30:55- That's gone.- Do you find yourself in a situation like that braking?
0:30:55 > 0:30:58The brake lights will still be on, probably, yes.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01"Why isn't it slowing down?"
0:31:01 > 0:31:04So you walk away from those accidents, which is remarkable,
0:31:04 > 0:31:07and yet you go cycling in 2008,
0:31:07 > 0:31:13- bump into a Nissan Torino, I believe.- It won, mate, it won.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16It won. And you broke your leg?
0:31:16 > 0:31:18Yeah. Shoulder...
0:31:18 > 0:31:21Cos this is what I think we need to impress upon children watching.
0:31:21 > 0:31:25Don't get a bicycle. Cos they're dangerous.
0:31:26 > 0:31:33Now obviously, you've, as we said in the introduction, handed your notice in.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36Why? Where are you going? What you going to do?
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Timing's right for me, mate.
0:31:38 > 0:31:42Bit of a break from what I've been doing for the last 14 years.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45So I'm going to race with Porsche, actually.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47I know you love Porsches, don't you?
0:31:47 > 0:31:49The 911 is such an interesting car(!)
0:31:51 > 0:31:55No, because what worries me, do you think you're getting out at the right time of Formula 1?
0:31:55 > 0:31:58Now that we've got the tyres going off like they do,
0:31:58 > 0:31:59is that getting a bit wearisome?
0:31:59 > 0:32:02You're in the car, the car's going well, you know the track,
0:32:02 > 0:32:05you're in the groove and you know that if you push hard,
0:32:05 > 0:32:08your tyres will simply wear out and you can't win.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11It is very different, mate, from how it used to be.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14But that's the way it is, we've got to learn and get on with it.
0:32:14 > 0:32:17But you've got to be able to push. In Formula 1,
0:32:17 > 0:32:21- it's about us boys absolutely on the limits all the time.- It should be.
0:32:21 > 0:32:24There's a big regulation change next year.
0:32:24 > 0:32:28- We're going to have to save fuel. - 1.6 litre engines?
0:32:28 > 0:32:32I mean, my Ford Cortina had a 1.6 litre engine.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35So are you going to miss your team-mate?
0:32:35 > 0:32:37LAUGHTER
0:32:42 > 0:32:44Am I going to miss Seb?
0:32:46 > 0:32:50Probably not a huge amount, no.
0:32:50 > 0:32:53In a competitive environment, there's always going to be a bit of needle.
0:32:53 > 0:32:57There's a lot of history between us two, obviously, that's gone before.
0:32:57 > 0:33:02Did it start in Malaysia when he suddenly lost the ability to hear?
0:33:03 > 0:33:06It was basically "Don't overtake Mark,"
0:33:06 > 0:33:10and then he heard everything apart from the "don't".
0:33:10 > 0:33:13I mean, you're an Aussie. Have you never felt tempted to...?
0:33:15 > 0:33:18"This is for Gallipoli, blam!"
0:33:18 > 0:33:21A lot of people are saying yes. I'm a bit concerned.
0:33:21 > 0:33:25My dad always says, "You shouldn't hit boys, mate," so...
0:33:28 > 0:33:29Good one.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34Now you're here for the second time, in fact.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37Different studio, everything's a bit different.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39- I was a bit nervous today. - Were you in the old studio?- Yeah.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42You actually looked half-decent back then.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48I've gone, I've absolutely gone.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51I've got grey, too, mate. You've got grey.
0:33:51 > 0:33:52Richard Hammond hasn't gone grey.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54- It's really weird. - That's incredible.
0:33:54 > 0:33:57I don't know how he's keeping it at bay.
0:33:57 > 0:34:01Anyway, let's find out how you got on on your laps.
0:34:01 > 0:34:04You came here once before and, let's be honest...
0:34:04 > 0:34:06It was chucking it down and I was nowhere.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10You were 1.47, but it was the wettest day in human history.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13- Well, today was not raining. - Very good conditions.
0:34:13 > 0:34:17Good conditions, the right temperatures for a Suzuki Liana.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20Who'd like to have a look at this lap?
0:34:20 > 0:34:21AUDIENCE: Yeah!
0:34:21 > 0:34:24Let's have a look. Come on, Mark. Let's have a look at the lap.
0:34:26 > 0:34:31Righto, here we go. Coming to get you.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33Lewis and Sebastian.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37Right, those are the two targets. The first corner.
0:34:37 > 0:34:41Nice and wide on the way. And it is interesting how you lot all do that.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Look at the Liana, what a machine.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51What is it with Formula 1 drivers?
0:34:51 > 0:34:54Kimi was looking at the helicopters and planes
0:34:54 > 0:34:59and now you're adjusting your clothing. Where are you going?
0:34:59 > 0:35:01- Pay attention. - The steering's very responsive.
0:35:01 > 0:35:05That'll help with your time. Right, Hammerhead.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- Keep it tight, keep it in. - It's horrible, Hammerhead.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10What's that?
0:35:10 > 0:35:12You keep the grip up. There's new asphalt there.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14It's good grip on that, really good grip.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21Don't scrub any speed through these fast ones.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23Turning lightly, here we go.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31Here we are, the Hugh Jackman. Ooh!
0:35:31 > 0:35:34Cutting it nicely.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37How do you carry? Look how much speed you've got going into that!
0:35:37 > 0:35:40That's impressive. Well, bound to be, really.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43And here, no, I wouldn't have changed down there
0:35:43 > 0:35:45but there we are, across the line.
0:35:47 > 0:35:51I just said, "I wouldn't have changed down there" to YOU!
0:35:53 > 0:35:57- Second gear in the last corner, second?- Yeah.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59- I use third in Gambon.- Do you?
0:35:59 > 0:36:03Well, on the basis that it's the end, so it doesn't really matter
0:36:03 > 0:36:06- if you roll it or burst. - There's no weight transfer in third.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09- I want to get the weight on the front tyre.- The weight on the front?
0:36:09 > 0:36:13- You see, I trail brake. - Trail braking?- A little bit.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16- Still not enough inertia. - It just gets the weight of the nose.
0:36:16 > 0:36:20I'll give you some lessons after. The least I can do.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22Anyway, where do you think?
0:36:22 > 0:36:25Obviously, you said you were going for Sebastian and Lewis,
0:36:25 > 0:36:27- who are right up at the top. - That was the goal.
0:36:27 > 0:36:31Well, I've got the time here. I shall have a look. Hang on a minute.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35I love the way that Formula 1 drivers, actually,
0:36:35 > 0:36:40it's like you really care about this. Cos it is quite funny.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43I mean Rubens was really dead chuffed when he was fastest.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46He was running around handing out, "I am the beat..."
0:36:46 > 0:36:48He was, he gave me one.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50Anyway, Mark Webber...
0:36:52 > 0:36:55You did it... Well, I'm going to start with the bad news.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00- Really?- Yeah. You're not fastest.
0:37:03 > 0:37:07So, really, once we got that one out the way, the big question is,
0:37:07 > 0:37:08ze German.
0:37:14 > 0:37:18Did you beat ze German, who did a 1.44 dead?
0:37:18 > 0:37:21- It's quite tight between those three. - It is very tight in the 1.44s.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25It's all very tight. So, Mark Webber, you did 1...
0:37:27 > 0:37:28..40...
0:37:28 > 0:37:30The next number's important.
0:37:35 > 0:37:36- ..three.- Ooh!
0:37:39 > 0:37:40You beat Seb.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45Only .2 off Lewis.
0:37:51 > 0:37:52That...
0:37:54 > 0:37:55I reckon that did it.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00I reckon if you'd just taken my advice
0:38:00 > 0:38:02about third at the final corner.
0:38:02 > 0:38:06The thing is, you're not faster than Lewis but you don't have an earring.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08OK. That's worth 3/10, isn't it?
0:38:08 > 0:38:11It's got to be 3/10, yeah, with his earring.
0:38:11 > 0:38:16But you have beaten Sebastian Vettel in the same car.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Webber!
0:38:24 > 0:38:25Tremendous.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27Now, for years we've known
0:38:27 > 0:38:31that Jaguar was working on a new small sports car.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33We've known that it's going to be called the F-type
0:38:33 > 0:38:36and we had a pretty good idea of what it would be like.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Yeah, we knew that it would be quiet and comfortable
0:38:39 > 0:38:43and restrained and that the interior would be full of traditional leather
0:38:43 > 0:38:46and wood and moss.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48So were we right?
0:38:48 > 0:38:50ENGINE REVVING
0:39:11 > 0:39:14In short, no.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16We were not right.
0:39:24 > 0:39:28It's an X-rated, hardcore monster...
0:39:29 > 0:39:31..for the terminally unhinged.
0:39:37 > 0:39:41It's got such a wide range of intoxicating noises.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44When you change up, it snorts like a hippo.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49And when you put your foot down, it bellows.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52And when you take it off again...
0:39:52 > 0:39:54RUMBLING
0:39:54 > 0:39:56Have you heard a soundtrack like that?
0:39:59 > 0:40:02That is the sound of the '60s right there!
0:40:07 > 0:40:09And if you push this little button here,
0:40:09 > 0:40:14you engage the sports exhaust system, which makes it even louder.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17ENGINE ROARS
0:40:21 > 0:40:23It's not all bark and no bite, either.
0:40:24 > 0:40:28The 3L V6 engine is supercharged
0:40:28 > 0:40:32and delivers 375 fire-spitting horse powers.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38It does 0-60 in 4.8 seconds.
0:40:38 > 0:40:41Top speed, 171.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51And this isn't even the fast version.
0:40:53 > 0:40:58If you want, Jaguar will sell you a 488hp V8.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00I wouldn't bother, though,
0:41:00 > 0:41:03because at no point while I've been driving this, have I thought,
0:41:03 > 0:41:06"Yeah, but I wish it was a bit more exciting."
0:41:11 > 0:41:15Now, you would imagine that a car this loud and this brutal
0:41:15 > 0:41:19would be as luxurious as a Methodist's coal house.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21But, no.
0:41:30 > 0:41:32The roof can be raised or lowered,
0:41:32 > 0:41:35even when you're going 30mph.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39The switches are bronzed.
0:41:40 > 0:41:41The seats are electric.
0:41:47 > 0:41:52And you can choose what shade of mood lighting you'd like.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58The interior, then, is nicely thought out,
0:41:58 > 0:42:02but it is nothing compared to the exterior.
0:42:05 > 0:42:10I think this is one of the best-looking cars ever made.
0:42:13 > 0:42:18So, it's beautiful and mad and thrilling and loud.
0:42:18 > 0:42:19And there's more.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25A lot of cars these days feel like laptops, but this doesn't.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Yes, you can go into the computer
0:42:27 > 0:42:30and alter the characteristics of the gearbox and the engine
0:42:30 > 0:42:33and the steering and suspension, but that said,
0:42:33 > 0:42:35there's no double clutch gearbox.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38It's just a smooth, eight-speed auto.
0:42:38 > 0:42:40There's no six-way traction control,
0:42:40 > 0:42:43there's no complicated folding metal roof.
0:42:43 > 0:42:44It's much simpler than that.
0:42:47 > 0:42:49Engine at the front, drive to the rear
0:42:49 > 0:42:52and a big, smiling piece of meat in the middle.
0:42:57 > 0:43:02The chassis is epic, and so are the brakes, and so's the steering.
0:43:02 > 0:43:03And you've got tons of locks,
0:43:03 > 0:43:06so if you do get it out of shape, it's easy to get it back again.
0:43:09 > 0:43:14In many ways, it puts me in mind of a BMW M3 and that is...
0:43:15 > 0:43:16..that is high praise.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21Except, it's not a BMW.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23It's a Jag.
0:43:26 > 0:43:30And I wish I could end it there, but, unfortunately,
0:43:30 > 0:43:33there are one or two issues that need mentioning.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44I've just done my weekly shop.
0:43:44 > 0:43:46I bought some jam...
0:43:48 > 0:43:50..some milk...
0:43:52 > 0:43:53..some sugar...
0:43:55 > 0:43:56..and some butter.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59Sadly, I wasn't able to buy any more than that,
0:43:59 > 0:44:04because if you buy your Jag with a spare wheel,
0:44:04 > 0:44:07this is what the boot looks like.
0:44:09 > 0:44:13How could they have a meeting and decide that THAT was acceptable?
0:44:13 > 0:44:16It's just madness!
0:44:16 > 0:44:19And there's another problem - the price.
0:44:21 > 0:44:26I was expecting the V6 version to cost around £50,000.
0:44:26 > 0:44:30But actually, it's almost £68,000.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34And the V8 is an eye-watering £80,000.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40But the biggest problem, by a country mile, is the ride.
0:44:40 > 0:44:44This road appears to be completely smooth,
0:44:44 > 0:44:46but it feels like I'm driving...
0:44:46 > 0:44:49No, not driving, it feels like I'm roller-skating,
0:44:49 > 0:44:51over a piece of corrugated iron.
0:44:51 > 0:44:53It's just...urgh!
0:44:53 > 0:44:56And it's even worse when you go slowly in a town.
0:44:56 > 0:44:59That's just unbearably harsh.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01And there's no need for it.
0:45:01 > 0:45:05When you've got a chassis this good, you don't need hard suspension.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08What were they thinking of?!
0:45:16 > 0:45:20Happily, however, the ride does get better the faster you go.
0:45:20 > 0:45:24Which means, there is a way round the problem.
0:45:26 > 0:45:27Don't drive slowly.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31Drive fast.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39Let's be honest, in a car that looks this good
0:45:39 > 0:45:44and sounds this fantastic, and goes this well,
0:45:44 > 0:45:46that's no hardship.
0:45:51 > 0:45:54That is no hardship, at all.
0:46:01 > 0:46:03APPLAUSE
0:46:03 > 0:46:06Another amazing road in Hertfordshire.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08You should come there more often.
0:46:08 > 0:46:14Anyway, Jaguar, as I'm sure you know, is now an Indian company,
0:46:14 > 0:46:17but the cars are still made in Britain.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20And so are the Range Rovers that we were talking about earlier,
0:46:20 > 0:46:24and so is the bus that James thinks is a car.
0:46:24 > 0:46:26And that got us thinking.
0:46:26 > 0:46:27We're always being told
0:46:27 > 0:46:30that Britain's manufacturing industry is dead,
0:46:30 > 0:46:31that we don't make stuff any more,
0:46:31 > 0:46:34and that we certainly don't make vehicles.
0:46:34 > 0:46:36But do we?
0:46:36 > 0:46:39Well, WE do, obviously.
0:46:39 > 0:46:43We made this pioneering hybrid electric car, using technology
0:46:43 > 0:46:45that is now copied globally.
0:46:45 > 0:46:49And we made the magnificent Hovervan,
0:46:49 > 0:46:52a machine of unparalleled capabilities,
0:46:52 > 0:46:55many of which were not faked in any way, at all.
0:46:55 > 0:46:59- LAUGHTER - And then there was the superb P45.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01Which was terrible.
0:47:01 > 0:47:03- Well, it had one or two issues. - Yeah, it was lethal.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Yeah, being lethal was one of the issues.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07But it was British built.
0:47:07 > 0:47:10And we were wondering, what else is?
0:47:10 > 0:47:15And so, for the finale of the last programme of the series,
0:47:15 > 0:47:18we thought we should find out.
0:47:22 > 0:47:25This is most people's idea of a British car factory.
0:47:27 > 0:47:33A ruin that closed down after some long-forgotten strike in the 1970s.
0:47:34 > 0:47:36But it turns out that, actually,
0:47:36 > 0:47:39there's rather more going on than you might think.
0:47:44 > 0:47:46Today, a new car rolls off a production line
0:47:46 > 0:47:50somewhere in Britain every 20 seconds.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54Honda has a factory in Swindon,
0:47:54 > 0:47:57where 2,700 people are employed
0:47:57 > 0:48:00to make the Civic, the Jazz, and the CRV.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04Toyota makes cars in Derbyshire.
0:48:04 > 0:48:08Cars which are then exported to Japan.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10And then there's the Nissan plant
0:48:10 > 0:48:12in the Northeast.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15Last year, this one factory made more cars
0:48:15 > 0:48:18than the whole of the Italian motor industry put together.
0:48:23 > 0:48:26And it's not just whole cars we make, either.
0:48:26 > 0:48:30Last year, one in three Fords sold globally
0:48:30 > 0:48:35had an engine made either in Wales or here in Essex.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41And there's more.
0:48:54 > 0:48:58And then we arrive at the Rolls-Royce plant in Sussex,
0:48:58 > 0:49:04where, yes, many of the components are shipped over from Germany.
0:49:04 > 0:49:08But the job of putting them all together is done here.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15Because Britain is the only country that appreciates
0:49:15 > 0:49:18it's better to trim the seats with hide from bulls,
0:49:18 > 0:49:21because cows get stretch marks when they're pregnant.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26Then you have the people doing the wood.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29Grandmasters, they're called.
0:49:29 > 0:49:36And the paint shop, where 45 kilos of paint is applied to each car.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41And then, there's this chap.
0:49:41 > 0:49:42It's his job to apply the coach lines
0:49:42 > 0:49:46and embellishments to the finished product...
0:49:46 > 0:49:48by hand.
0:49:50 > 0:49:55You won't find his equivalent in a Hyundai factory.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59He learned his trade as a pub sign writer.
0:49:59 > 0:50:03It's said he has the steadiest hand in the world.
0:50:08 > 0:50:10Then, there's motor racing.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15In the whole world, there are 11 Formula 1 teams.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17Eight are based in Britain
0:50:17 > 0:50:22and seven can be seen from the top of this one hill in Oxfordshire.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25Over there, you have Williams.
0:50:25 > 0:50:28Up there in the Cotswolds, there's Lotus and Caterham.
0:50:28 > 0:50:30Then, moving further along,
0:50:30 > 0:50:31we have Force India, Marussia,
0:50:31 > 0:50:35Red Bull and Mercedes.
0:50:37 > 0:50:41Britain's contribution to motorsport is extraordinary.
0:50:44 > 0:50:46All IndyCar races,
0:50:46 > 0:50:49every Dakar winner since 2009,
0:50:49 > 0:50:5435 of the 56 starters at this year's Le Mans,
0:50:54 > 0:50:56including the car that won it.
0:50:56 > 0:51:00The Marussia Formula 1 car, and the Pagani Huayra.
0:51:02 > 0:51:05All of them have gearboxes made in that factory
0:51:05 > 0:51:08on this little industrial estate in Berkshire.
0:51:10 > 0:51:14A whopping 75% of all research and development
0:51:14 > 0:51:17done in global motorsport is British.
0:51:22 > 0:51:23British clutch.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28British hybrid system.
0:51:28 > 0:51:30British ECUs.
0:51:33 > 0:51:37And it's not just us saying, "Ooh, look! Aren't we clever?"
0:51:37 > 0:51:40The rest of the world likes what we're doing these days.
0:51:40 > 0:51:42For five out of the last seven years,
0:51:42 > 0:51:46Aston Martin has been voted "coolest brand in the world."
0:51:46 > 0:51:51And then, there's the list of global celebrities who drive a Range Rover.
0:52:00 > 0:52:04Time now to move away from the cars and into the heavy engineering.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09On this map of the world, all the countries shaded in red
0:52:09 > 0:52:13use military vehicles made in Britain.
0:52:13 > 0:52:16All the countries shaded green
0:52:16 > 0:52:19use British-made lorries to move stuff around.
0:52:19 > 0:52:22In all the countries shaded yellow,
0:52:22 > 0:52:26there's at least one JCB helping to build something.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30And while it's not exactly heavy engineering,
0:52:30 > 0:52:34all the countries shaded brown watch British-made motoring shows.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41Having established we do make quite a lot of stuff in Britain,
0:52:41 > 0:52:45we decided to find out just how much.
0:52:45 > 0:52:47So we hatched an ambitious plan.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50We called all the companies that make motorised vehicles
0:52:50 > 0:52:54and said to them, "Could you bring whatever it is you make
0:52:54 > 0:52:55"to a gathering in London?"
0:52:55 > 0:52:58A little bit of a problem with Morgan,
0:52:58 > 0:53:00who didn't know what London was,
0:53:00 > 0:53:04but eventually, everybody responded magnificently.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38Jeremy, Richard, and I are taking three different versions
0:53:38 > 0:53:40of the new F-Type to London.
0:53:40 > 0:53:42I, for example, have the V6...
0:53:42 > 0:53:45Whoa! That's the Triumph bikes.
0:53:47 > 0:53:48Tremendous!
0:54:03 > 0:54:05Meanwhile, deep in the countryside...
0:54:09 > 0:54:12Oh, look at that!
0:54:12 > 0:54:14And now, look what's coming!
0:54:14 > 0:54:17It's the Morgans. Carry on, chaps!
0:54:31 > 0:54:33Much later than everyone else,
0:54:33 > 0:54:36the Formula 1 cars began to leave for London.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46Which, in Milton Keynes, was quite a sight.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52And quite a sound.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54CAR ENGINE WHINES
0:55:25 > 0:55:28Eventually, the fleet of vehicles that had been made in Britain
0:55:28 > 0:55:31began to arrive on the streets of the capital.
0:55:39 > 0:55:41And after the slowest had turned up...
0:55:44 > 0:55:45..we climbed into our Jags
0:55:45 > 0:55:47and headed for the meeting point
0:55:47 > 0:55:51to see how much stuff was there.
0:55:53 > 0:55:56This feels a bit special, this does.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01And it became even more special
0:56:01 > 0:56:03as we swung past Buckingham Palace
0:56:03 > 0:56:05and onto The Mall.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09HE GASPS
0:56:09 > 0:56:11There's more than I thought.
0:56:11 > 0:56:16MUSIC: "Nimrod (from Enigma Variations)" by Elgar
0:56:27 > 0:56:31The Mall has hosted many uplifting scenes over the years.
0:56:31 > 0:56:36But it has never hosted anything quite like this before.
0:56:36 > 0:56:40It wasn't just the sheer volume that took our breath away.
0:56:40 > 0:56:43It was the diversity, the breadth.
0:56:46 > 0:56:50Cars, lorries, diggers, racers,
0:56:50 > 0:56:52ice cream vans, hearses.
0:56:52 > 0:56:54It was magnificent.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56It was huge.
0:57:02 > 0:57:05I didn't know we made those massive tipper trucks.
0:57:05 > 0:57:06Look at that thing!
0:57:07 > 0:57:09A tractor.
0:57:09 > 0:57:10I didn't think of that.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16Land speed record cars!
0:57:18 > 0:57:21There's my bus! All right, mate?
0:57:26 > 0:57:28Ooh, the Eagle!
0:57:44 > 0:57:47A lot of people say that, today,
0:57:47 > 0:57:52Britain is nothing more than a bank, or a boutique, or a busted flush,
0:57:52 > 0:57:56but looking at that staggering collection back there...
0:57:58 > 0:58:01..I'm not sure they're right. Good night.
0:58:01 > 0:58:06MUSIC: "Pomp and Circumstance (March No. 4)" by Elgar