0:00:11 > 0:00:14Tonight, Richard opens a glove box,
0:00:14 > 0:00:16James pulls a face,
0:00:16 > 0:00:18and I ask an important question.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21Have you ever put toothpaste on your testicles?
0:00:21 > 0:00:23APPLAUSE
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Thank you. Hello. Good evening!
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Thank you very much, everybody.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35It is a big crowd tonight.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Thanks very much. Thank you. Now...
0:00:38 > 0:00:41last year, the big three German car-makers,
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Mercedes, Volkswagen and BMW,
0:00:44 > 0:00:47all brought out new hot hatchbacks.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50And since this is a top consumer programme
0:00:50 > 0:00:52full of helpful buying advice,
0:00:52 > 0:00:57I thought it would be a good idea to see which one of them is best.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06Well, not the Mercedes, that's for sure.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12This is the new four-wheel-drive A45 and it's extremely powerful...
0:01:13 > 0:01:17extremely nice to drive and handsome as well.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20But it is RIDICULOUSLY expensive.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27This car, with a few options on it, is £46,000 and that,
0:01:27 > 0:01:30for a hatchback, is idiotic.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33It's like charging 100 quid for a sardine.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36"Oh, it is a very good sardine, sir." I don't care how good it is.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38I'm not paying 100 quid for a fish.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43If, then, you have even half a droplet of common sense,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47you will be choosing between these two.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49The BMW M135...
0:01:51 > 0:01:54and Volkswagen's latest Golf GTI.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Both cost around £30,000.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01Both are available with three or five doors.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Both come as standard with many things.
0:02:07 > 0:02:12And both will be as reliable and as long-lasting as Edinburgh Castle.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15You might think, then, that they are pretty similar.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- But they're not, which is why- I- am in the BMW.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22You see, the Golf has a two-litre four-cylinder
0:02:22 > 0:02:26turbocharged engine and that's very nice.
0:02:26 > 0:02:32But the BMW has a three-litre six-cylinder turbocharged engine.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34And that's even nicer.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Yes, the Golf is lighter.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46But that is not enough to offset the 90-horsepower disadvantage.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51A point I shall now demonstrate with a small race.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Front-wheel drive Golf is clinging on jolly well
0:03:03 > 0:03:06but frankly, it's pointless.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13I can overtake any time I like. I have the power.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21And I have an eight-speed gearbox compared to his paltry six.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Yes, the Prussian aristocrat
0:03:25 > 0:03:29is trampling all over the lumpen people's car.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37There we go. Power!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Come on!
0:03:40 > 0:03:43And there we are in front.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48'The BMW, then, really is very fast.'
0:03:49 > 0:03:53What's more, because this is the first hot hatchback
0:03:53 > 0:03:59for 30 years to have rear-wheel drive, you can do this.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06HE LAUGHS
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Whoo-ha!
0:04:09 > 0:04:12'So far, then, the BMW is running rings round the Golf.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17'But I then line them up for a simple straight-line drag race.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23'And there was a problem.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25'A big one.'
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Three...
0:04:27 > 0:04:29two...
0:04:29 > 0:04:30one!
0:04:30 > 0:04:34ENGINES ROAR
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Good noise!
0:04:44 > 0:04:48With this in reverse...
0:04:50 > 0:04:52'At this point, I was feeling confident.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55'But, as I hit 120mph...'
0:04:56 > 0:04:57This really is...
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- Oh,- BLEEP BLEEP!
0:04:59 > 0:05:02CLUNKING AND RATTLING
0:05:16 > 0:05:20Yeah, you see, the Golf won that because this, well, it lost control.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24That's what happened there.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Whoo!
0:05:28 > 0:05:30'After this incident, I switched to the Golf GTI.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38'And I decided immediately it was a lot better in every single way.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41'Not only was it able to travel in a straight line
0:05:41 > 0:05:43'without spinning off..,
0:05:43 > 0:05:46'but, thanks to its smaller engine,
0:05:46 > 0:05:48'it is a lot more economical than the BMW.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51'And a lot cheaper to insure.'
0:05:51 > 0:05:54In fact, because Volkswagen has fitted this with a forward-facing
0:05:54 > 0:05:58radar system that won't let you have a low-speed crash,
0:05:58 > 0:06:05this GTI is in an insurance group five down from the previous model.
0:06:05 > 0:06:10It would be more expensive to insure a pencil sharpener.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12'So the GTI is cheaper to run and cheaper to buy
0:06:12 > 0:06:15'and much better in a straight line than the BMW.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20'But what if you want to transport a nuclear warhead?'
0:06:21 > 0:06:26Well, what we have got here in the boot of the Volkswagen is a warhead.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28And as you can see, it fits perfectly.
0:06:28 > 0:06:35But will it fit in the boot of the BMW?
0:06:35 > 0:06:40Oh, dear. Oh, dearie me.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45See, this is the problem really with rear-wheel drive.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46It does rob space.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49So you would have to drive along like that.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53And somebody is going to notice. Hans Blick is, for sure.
0:06:54 > 0:06:59'Things are much the same when it comes to space in the cabin.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02'The Golf can handle three people on the back seat easily.'
0:07:03 > 0:07:06But the only way you're going to get three people in the back
0:07:06 > 0:07:10of the BMW is by sawing their legs off with a hammer.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16This is not only complicated and messy
0:07:16 > 0:07:21but, in Britain at least, it's currently against the law.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Come on! The bone!
0:07:28 > 0:07:32One... It's probably easier to buy the Golf, really.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36'So the Golf is cheaper to buy and cheaper to run
0:07:36 > 0:07:39'and also more practical than the BMW.'
0:07:42 > 0:07:46But it's like driving around in James May's sock drawer.
0:07:46 > 0:07:51Everything is exactly where you would expect it to be. Organised.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Blue ones, brown ones, pink ones for special occasions.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58'Don't think, however, because it is sensible and practical
0:07:58 > 0:08:02'and economical, that it's in any way boring.' Look.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05The gear lever is a sort of golf ball shape.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08You see, you Englishers, you have the ze Monty Python
0:08:08 > 0:08:10and ze Harry and ze Paul
0:08:10 > 0:08:13but ve have a sense of humour also with this. Ja?
0:08:15 > 0:08:16'There's more as well.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19'Because this particular car is fitted with Volkswagen's
0:08:19 > 0:08:21'optional performance pack.
0:08:23 > 0:08:29'That means better brakes, more power. A top speed of 155mph.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33'And a trick front differential.'
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Now we have seen clever front differentials before
0:08:36 > 0:08:38but nothing like this.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40My foot is hard down now.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Coming round Hammerhead.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49And there's no torque steer, there's no understeer...
0:08:53 > 0:08:55You can feel the whole car being dragged in,
0:08:55 > 0:08:57pulled towards the apex.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01I've never felt anything like it.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07A baboon could get this around here as fast as the Stig.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20'So there we are. These two cars are not the same at all.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23'One is brilliant in every way.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26'And the other tried to kill me.'
0:09:28 > 0:09:30APPLAUSE
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Very interesting.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- Plainly the car to have there. - Oh, yes. Really fascinating.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42Just some questions raised. Let's get this straight.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44You don't like the BMW.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Because you can't drive in a straight line.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Hark who's talking!
0:09:51 > 0:09:56- How fast did you say you were going? - 120mph.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Walking pace, basically.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02Listen, from the point where it suddenly snapped sideways for no
0:10:02 > 0:10:05reason, to the point where it stopped moving, we measured it.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07It was over a quarter of a mile.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09I could have held it, I reckon.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Could you?- You just aquaplaned.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Yes, but the Golf was on the same track in the same conditions
0:10:14 > 0:10:16and it didn't aquaplane.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20Now, the Golf didn't aquaplane because you weren't driving it.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Yes, but, Hammond, all things considered,
0:10:24 > 0:10:29- the Golf is a better car. - Is it?- Yes.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33And now, we must find out how fast these cars go round our track.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37And that, of course, means handing them over to our tame racing driver.
0:10:37 > 0:10:43Some say that his hair is the exact same shape as a hat.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48And that if he worked for CNN...
0:10:48 > 0:10:51LAUGHTER
0:10:51 > 0:10:54..he wouldn't get such pitifully low ratings
0:10:54 > 0:10:56that his show got cancelled.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:11:04 > 0:11:08All we know is he is called the Stig.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09And they're off.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12And for the first time this series, it is actually dry.
0:11:12 > 0:11:13First straight.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Will the BMW suddenly spin off for no reason?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19No, it has actually made it to the first corner. Amazing!
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Both turbocharged engines loving this crisp dry air
0:11:24 > 0:11:26and no fuss so far.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29BIZARRE VOICES AND MUSIC
0:11:32 > 0:11:33No idea what that was.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Right, through Chicago.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Golf's traction control can't be completely switched off.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41You can actually see it nipping at the brakes on the way in.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43The BMW, of course, just being stupid.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Hammerhead - no real dramas there either
0:11:47 > 0:11:49but the Golf - yes, its magic
0:11:49 > 0:11:51differential casually twisting physics.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53MUSIC PLAYS
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Right, Follow Through and yes, the BMW is trying to spin, of course.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03The Golf has a nibble of traction control and then,
0:12:03 > 0:12:04faithful as a Labrador.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Oh, the Golf brake lights flickering there.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09That is the traction control turning them on, not Stig, who is still
0:12:09 > 0:12:14fuming because I said a baboon could drive as fast in the Golf as him.
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Right, just Gambon left.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17More hooliganism from the Beemer.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18And across the line!
0:12:18 > 0:12:20APPLAUSE
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I have the times here.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28- Come on, then.- The BMW...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31The BMW went round in 1.25.1
0:12:31 > 0:12:34so it is slower than the old version,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37which did it on a damp track.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38So that's useless.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41And the Golf GTI did a 1.28.6.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Look at that.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47- That's a lot slower.- Yes, yes, yes. But look. Astra, Megane RS, Focus.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50It is right where hot hatchbacks should be. This is just stupid.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54- This is much better. And now we must do the news.- Yes, we must.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Which is difficult, because that means walking over there,
0:12:57 > 0:13:00which is a straight line. You could spin off and lose it.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Thank you, Hammond. - Don't slip. Careful.- Here she comes.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Ladies and gentlemen, will he make it?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Conditions are very dry in the studio today.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- Oh, no, he has only got to step to go.- Shut up.- Yes, he has done it.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12APPLAUSE
0:13:12 > 0:13:13I thought you were going off.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- Listen.- It is a tricky straight, that.
0:13:16 > 0:13:21- It was easy because my shoes were not made by BMW.- Really.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- Good. Now.- Do the news now, you two.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24The news, ladies and gentlemen.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28Now, last week you saw Richard Hammond driving a six-wheeled
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Mercedes-Benz but did you know they made another six-wheeled
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- car long before that one? Like to see a picture of it?- Love to.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Here it is.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Oh, right.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- Did they not mention this, then? - Do you know, they didn't.- How odd.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44It is, isn't it, because Mercedes like to go on
0:13:44 > 0:13:47about their heritage and history and they didn't mention that one.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Well, perhaps they didn't mention it because it has got Hitler in it.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53That is not Hitler. It is. It isn't.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56No, that car was built long before indicators were invented
0:13:56 > 0:13:59so he is just the to do some hand signals.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01What signal is he doing here, then, James?
0:14:01 > 0:14:04He's saying, "Take the Third Reich."
0:14:04 > 0:14:07LAUGHTER AND GROANS
0:14:12 > 0:14:17- Now. Have we got any Scottish people here?- Yes!- Yes!
0:14:17 > 0:14:21Would you like to step outside just for the next few minutes? Please.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24We've got a bit of a chat. It's about Scottish independence.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26It's just that we've heard a lot of talk in recent weeks
0:14:26 > 0:14:29about what Scotland would lose if you choose to go on your own
0:14:29 > 0:14:32but nobody is talking about what England would lose.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34And it is actually quite a lot.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Because we would lose North Sea oil, the sub base at Faslane,
0:14:38 > 0:14:42- all tramps...- Oh, God. LAUGHTER
0:14:42 > 0:14:47And we'd also lose a significant chunk of our motoring heritage
0:14:47 > 0:14:49and I'm not talking about the Hillmans and Talbots
0:14:49 > 0:14:51that were made at the Linwood plant just outside Paisley.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53No, I'm talking about stuff like
0:14:53 > 0:14:56the mighty Argyll, Scotland's finest.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Wow! LAUGHTER
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Look at that MASTERPIECE!
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Do you know, when that car came out, it was the same price
0:15:03 > 0:15:08- as a Ferrari 308...- Mm. - ..and hardly anybody bought one?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- Really?- It is remarkable because you look at that...
0:15:10 > 0:15:12well, plastic body and you know...
0:15:12 > 0:15:14you just look at the way the door fits.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- That is a quality product. - Isn't it? Isn't it?- Oh, yeah.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20And I have to say, it wasn't just supercars
0:15:20 > 0:15:21where Scotland was ahead of the game.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24They were ahead of the curve, also, with electric cars
0:15:24 > 0:15:27because, way back in the day, they made a little car called the Scamp.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28I've got a picture of it here.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Wow! LAUGHTER
0:15:31 > 0:15:33- Great Scott! - LAUGHTER
0:15:33 > 0:15:36That still has the power to take your breath away, even today.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40It does. Doesn't it just? It's... It's a rather tragic story, though.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43It was made of aluminium and wood and it was going to be sold
0:15:43 > 0:15:47through Electricity Board showrooms, which I remember, actually.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49But when they took it to the government test centre
0:15:49 > 0:15:52to get a road-worthiness certificate before they could put it on sale,
0:15:52 > 0:15:54there was a bit of a problem.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58In one test, the government engineer noted -
0:15:58 > 0:16:01and I've written all the problems, here, down -
0:16:01 > 0:16:03"The speedo broke, the electric motor stopped working,
0:16:03 > 0:16:06"the back door flew open, the spare wheel fell out,
0:16:06 > 0:16:10"the steering went wrong and then the suspension snapped."
0:16:10 > 0:16:12LAUGHTER
0:16:12 > 0:16:13- And that was the end of that.- Aw!
0:16:13 > 0:16:16And yet it looked so full of promise, didn't it, there?
0:16:16 > 0:16:18LAUGHTER
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Now, I drove my Mercedes down to the track this morning
0:16:21 > 0:16:24and, genuinely, the most extraordinary thing happened.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26It didn't catch fire.
0:16:26 > 0:16:27- Really? - LAUGHTER
0:16:27 > 0:16:32- Now, James, you came down in your Fiat Panda, did you not?- Yes.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Did that catch fire? - Let me just think. No.- Did it not?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- No, it didn't at all.- Richard, the hire car you came down in...- Yes?!
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- ..did that burst into flames? - No, it didn't.- Did it not?
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Why are you in a hire car?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Because Porsche have told me
0:16:45 > 0:16:49I'm not allowed to drive my brand-new GT3 and they've taken it off me.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Oh, is this because, as we mentioned briefly last week,
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Porsche GT3s have been bursting into flames
0:16:55 > 0:16:57and now Porsche have told you you can't drive it any more?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Yes, it is and you both know full well that it is!
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Well, that means you have no use of those oven gloves,
0:17:02 > 0:17:04which I can see down there, which I bought you last week.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06My Porsche driving gloves.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09- Have they taken it away? - Yes, they've taken it off me!
0:17:09 > 0:17:12So, you don't need those, but it's OK, Hammond,
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- because I have got you another present.- Oh, good(!) Have you?
0:17:15 > 0:17:19No, Hammond, it's a 911 tailored specifically for you.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Is it(?)
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Yes, here it is. Look at that.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Oh, you are literally the most amusing man
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- in the whole world. He is. - Even I'm...
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Oh, no!
0:17:31 > 0:17:32LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:32 > 0:17:36- Look!- It's OK, I've got on oven gloves.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40- Put it out as fast as possible! - It's all right.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43APPLAUSE
0:17:43 > 0:17:45I hate you. LAUGHTER
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Right, now, em...
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Yes, as we know, a great many people in the country
0:17:54 > 0:17:56are now starting to use one of these to move about.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Now, this is called a bicycle
0:17:58 > 0:18:02and you can tell just by looking at it that it is very dangerous
0:18:02 > 0:18:05and, as a result, a lot of people are being hurt
0:18:05 > 0:18:07in cycle-related injuries.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08In the olden days, the government
0:18:08 > 0:18:11would have addressed this problem by making a public information film.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14They used to make them about all sorts of things.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17We had 'Clunk Click Every Trip', not to go near a railway,
0:18:17 > 0:18:19not to play near the water...
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Yes, there was 'Don't Run'.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- They never told us not to run. - They did!- They did not.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27I shall show you! We've got a clip here, look, watch.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- FILM VOICEOVER:- 'You never know what's round the corner.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32'So don't run.'
0:18:32 > 0:18:33GLASS SMASHES
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- There you go.- Yes...- That's advice I have heeded all my life.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39You really took that to heart! You haven't run since, have you?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Of course not! There might be a pane of glass coming!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Anyway, we don't really get these public information films any more
0:18:45 > 0:18:48because of budget cuts and so on, so Jeremy and I thought,
0:18:48 > 0:18:51to help stop cyclists being injured,
0:18:51 > 0:18:53it might be a good idea to bring them back.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58So you two are going to make a public information film about cycling?!
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Yes, we are, actually.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02We went to see a panel of experts at London's Westminster Council
0:19:02 > 0:19:05and they said they would be delighted
0:19:05 > 0:19:07if we made a public information film
0:19:07 > 0:19:09which would help cut the number of injuries
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- and this is what... - CLEARS THROAT
0:19:11 > 0:19:13..I came up with. Here we go.
0:19:32 > 0:19:37'John works hard, which means that he can afford to drive a car.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46'That means he gets home to his family safely every night.'
0:19:46 > 0:19:48CHILD: Daddy's home!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55APPLAUSE
0:19:57 > 0:19:58Thank you very much.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03I think a work of genius, frankly.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07- That is terrible.- It isn't! It is! It isn't!
0:20:07 > 0:20:10It is. No, it is, which is why I fired him
0:20:10 > 0:20:14and went and had a go at making a public information film on my own.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20'Having come up with a cracking idea,
0:20:20 > 0:20:23'I appointed myself as director,
0:20:23 > 0:20:27'gathered together a small cast and crew, and set to work.'
0:20:27 > 0:20:30The whole point of this is...
0:20:30 > 0:20:33is to be with you on the swing and try and look doctor-ish.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36That pen isn't very medical, I'm afraid.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Action.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41I love it. Golden! Yeah.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43First positions, let's go again.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46If you could be opposite each other on this three-pronged arrangement.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Arms out, singing in the rain.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Good...and action!
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Good swinging. Nice. I'm liking this.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06'When my film was finished, Jeremy and I went to Westminster Council
0:21:06 > 0:21:09'to show it to the panel of experts.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13'There was Chris Boardman, policy adviser for British Cycling,
0:21:13 > 0:21:17'Martin Low, City Transport Commissioner
0:21:17 > 0:21:21'and Alan Kennedy, Road Safety GB.'
0:21:21 > 0:21:25The good news is, we have two films for you to look at.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27- No, we have one.- No, two.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29There's two.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Why don't you show them yours first of all,
0:21:31 > 0:21:34which I believe is that one there?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Gentlemen, if you would like to relax whilst I just...
0:21:37 > 0:21:38insert this in the machine.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43CHILDREN'S CHATTERING VOICES
0:21:50 > 0:21:52- Yee-hee-hee!- Woo-hoo!
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Waaah!
0:21:53 > 0:21:58'You stopped playing with children's toys when you grew up.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00'So why ride a bicycle?'
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Oh, I did a skid!
0:22:11 > 0:22:14You just haven't got it, have you? Absolutely crazy.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Well, no, I can see you are disappointed,
0:22:17 > 0:22:18just in the way you're looking.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20James, they are disappointed with your work.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23May I just play you this one, if I may. Just let me show you this one
0:22:23 > 0:22:26cos I think this will rectify the problem, which has begun already.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35'John works hard, which means that he can afford to drive a car.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40'Work harder. Get a car.'
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- Terrible. Absolutely terrible. - Sorry, that's...
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- You just got it wrong, so wrong. - Dreadfully wrong.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49- Where's the cyclist?- Mangled at the end.- What was the brief?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Well, we are trying to make cycling safer
0:22:52 > 0:22:56and we thought the best way to do that is to stop people cycling.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58But the message you should be getting across
0:22:58 > 0:23:01is that people need to be considerate towards each other.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04I'm not sure they are going to like our poster idea
0:23:04 > 0:23:06that we had as well, but we came up with that.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14We did spell it wrong.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17I think we are going in entirely the wrong direction.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- Entirely the wrong direction.- Have you actually spoken to a cyclist?
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Well, no.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25Well, maybe that would be a good idea, or even try it yourself.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29'And so we put on some cycling clothes
0:23:29 > 0:23:30'and went on a fact-finding trip
0:23:30 > 0:23:33'around London's glittering West End.'
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Come on, Jeremy!- I'm behind you!
0:23:37 > 0:23:40I'll sound my bell for pedestrians.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42BELL TINKLES
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Look at him, he's wearing normal clothing, the lunatic!
0:23:45 > 0:23:49- You'll be killed!- You're mad! - You will never make it!
0:23:50 > 0:23:52'After an hour in the saddle,
0:23:52 > 0:23:54'I discovered a problem.'
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Oh, bump, bump!
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Really bumpy here and this is deeply uncomfortable now.
0:24:02 > 0:24:03Oh!
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Oof! Ow!
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I've got to do something about my bottom, this is really...
0:24:10 > 0:24:13uncomfortable.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16'So we stopped at a bicycle shop
0:24:16 > 0:24:19'where, apparently, you can buy special creams.'
0:24:19 > 0:24:22- Are these all to rub onto your bits? - Yes, they are.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- Is that normal?- Yes, we even have one for women.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28- Are women's bottoms different to men's bottoms?- I should think so.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29- Are they?- Yes.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31'Having selected the correct cream,
0:24:31 > 0:24:34'I went to apply it in the changing room.'
0:24:39 > 0:24:41JEREMY GRUNTS
0:24:43 > 0:24:44'This made everything worse.'
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Ooh!
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Have you ever put toothpaste on your testicles for a joke?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52To be honest, yes, I did, when I was a teenager.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54- Yes, exactly, so did I. Do you remember the pain?- Yes, I do.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- Well...- Is that what it's like?- Yes.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00'James was very sympathetic.'
0:25:00 > 0:25:03# Goodness gracious great balls of fire! #
0:25:03 > 0:25:08'With the pain getting worse...' Ooh! Ow! Ow!
0:25:08 > 0:25:11'..I had to make an emergency stop.'
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Please may I use your lavatories? My scrotum is on fire.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Have you ever put toothpaste on your scrotum?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Ooh...
0:25:20 > 0:25:24'With my gentleman's area sorted, we got back on the road.'
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Right, so the light just went red,
0:25:26 > 0:25:29so that means go when you're on a bicycle.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33'And soon we were picking up valuable information.'
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Taxi driver. Very polite. Thank you very much, sir. Another taxi.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Extremely polite.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Thank you.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Yeah, look at that, you see, he politely let me go.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Thank you.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49I've been riding now for three hours
0:25:49 > 0:25:53and not a single car driver has done anything annoying.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57You'd imagine that cycling around Hyde Park Corner,
0:25:57 > 0:25:59which is what I'm doing now, would be...
0:25:59 > 0:26:02as dangerous as juggling chain saws,
0:26:02 > 0:26:06but if you keep your eyes open and you are courteous...
0:26:06 > 0:26:08it's fine.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Every car has given me a six-foot berth, taxis, vans.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Yes, all the cars and vans have been very decent.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17I haven't got a complaint.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21'But...there was one type of road user who wasn't courteous at all.'
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Look at this idiot!
0:26:25 > 0:26:27BLEEP! BLEEP!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Whoa! God above!
0:26:30 > 0:26:32So that bus just overtook me,
0:26:32 > 0:26:36so I have to now go on the wrong side of the road and you get...
0:26:36 > 0:26:39And now he's just set off! See?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42And I'm stuck on the wrong side of the road.
0:26:42 > 0:26:47These are the problem, I've decided. The buses.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Because all of the drivers think
0:26:49 > 0:26:52they are literally Lord God Almighty.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55BLEEP!
0:26:55 > 0:26:58- It's bloody murder! - Now they're giving me a wide berth.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01Your bus is going to kill me!
0:27:01 > 0:27:04- You are going to kill me! - Keep going! Keep going!
0:27:04 > 0:27:08But he is a homicidal maniac! And another one!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Aargh!
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Aargh!
0:27:11 > 0:27:13No, don't do that.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Why do they put bicycles in the bus lane?!
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Whoa!
0:27:22 > 0:27:25'And then, just to round things off...'
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- Whoa!- Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
0:27:29 > 0:27:33- What are you doing?- Look, the chain has come off.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34- HORNS BEEP - Sorry.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35HORN BEEPS
0:27:35 > 0:27:39- I know! There's nothing much I can do, is there?- Go over here.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Why can't they build a machine where the chain stays on?
0:27:42 > 0:27:44You've got that derailleur miles out of adjustment.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47I don't know what you're talking about. What is a de-rail-eum?
0:27:47 > 0:27:50It's the thing that moves the chain across. You've bent it.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51So, the gearbox on this is broken?
0:27:51 > 0:27:54We are going to have to sell it and buy another one.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58'After James had mended my geranium, he gave me a stern lecture.'
0:27:58 > 0:28:02Bicycles... The reason people have accidents on bicycles
0:28:02 > 0:28:04is cos of things like the brakes not working,
0:28:04 > 0:28:05worn out wheel bearings, bad...
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Those out of adjustment, that out of adjustment, this not tight enough.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11It's really easy, bicycle maintenance,
0:28:11 > 0:28:13you only need about three spanners and a screwdriver.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19'With the fact-finding mission over,
0:28:19 > 0:28:24'we felt we had become fully paid-up members of the cycling community.'
0:28:26 > 0:28:27Have you got the arts pages?
0:28:36 > 0:28:39Mm.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42It seems to me, for our public information film,
0:28:42 > 0:28:48what we should do is make cycling attractive to bus passengers
0:28:48 > 0:28:51because then there would be no need for buses.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54And they are the biggest problem on the road.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56- Not just for cyclists but also for cars.- Yes.
0:28:56 > 0:29:02So if we get rid of buses, remove the demand for buses...
0:29:02 > 0:29:05- We get an extra lane. - ..everybody wins.
0:29:05 > 0:29:11'A few days later, we cycled to the Top Gear office to discuss
0:29:11 > 0:29:13'some new ideas for our important public information film.'
0:29:15 > 0:29:20I think what that does is it dissuades people from using the bus.
0:29:20 > 0:29:24Yes, but it isn't true. It is. It isn't.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26It is, I went on a bus once and I got an eye infection.
0:29:26 > 0:29:30Some people get diphtheria or rickets or scurvy.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33- They do.- It is nonsense, it is not going to work.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35- 'I then showed Jeremy something - I'd- put together.'
0:29:35 > 0:29:38- ON TV:- 'Hello, cyclists,
0:29:38 > 0:29:41'I am here today to talk to you about bicycle maintenance.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44'Let's start with the most important part of a bike.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46'You simply rotate this adjuster
0:29:46 > 0:29:49'until the brake blocks are almost in contact with the wheel.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52'Lock it with the nut and then...'
0:29:54 > 0:29:58'..the chain and the sprockets will grind together.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01'Make sure there is no play in the steering head bearings.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04'If there is, if you can feel a little clunk, clunk, clunk...'
0:30:04 > 0:30:10- How much more is there of this? - Well, quite a lot.- How long is this?
0:30:10 > 0:30:13- 58 minutes. - What, a 58 minute thing?!
0:30:13 > 0:30:17It is more a public information documentary, if I am honest.
0:30:18 > 0:30:23'Annoyingly, James's other ideas were even worse.'
0:30:23 > 0:30:25Action!
0:30:29 > 0:30:33- Why is he dressed up as Hitler? - Because cyclists need to be visible.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Christ on a bike!
0:30:40 > 0:30:44- James, you can't do that. - Yes, I can.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46'As he brought out a cross,
0:30:46 > 0:30:49'I left him alone and went off to work on my own.'
0:30:49 > 0:30:52One of the problems I discovered on my fact-finding bike ride
0:30:52 > 0:30:57around London is that pedestrians simply don't hear bicycles coming.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59They step off the kerb,
0:30:59 > 0:31:02the cyclist has to swerve into the path of a bus.
0:31:02 > 0:31:07Blood, artery gush, burst, court case, murder, disaster.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Bicycles, therefore, need to be louder.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16ENGINE ROARS
0:31:18 > 0:31:23What I have done is attached to the back of this bike a jet engine.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30And now pedestrians can definitely hear me coming.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32And so can other motorists.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35And people in subterranean caves in other countries.
0:31:37 > 0:31:41Even the profoundly deaf would know I was on my way,
0:31:41 > 0:31:44they would feel a disturbance in the force.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Of course, another advantage is, you don't
0:31:50 > 0:31:53have to do any of that annoying pedalling.
0:31:53 > 0:31:59Again my genius is staggering me, it really is.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01Oh, dear, I am out of fuel.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05I have run out of fuel.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07That is what's happened now.
0:32:08 > 0:32:09Damn.
0:32:12 > 0:32:16Think of it, really, as a hybrid.
0:32:16 > 0:32:17There we go.
0:32:18 > 0:32:23'For the rest of the day, we tried all sorts of other ideas.'
0:32:23 > 0:32:24Here we go.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28Ooh!
0:32:33 > 0:32:36- What's it supposed to be? - It's a cyclist after an accident.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40I couldn't use an actual cyclist, could I?
0:32:40 > 0:32:44So for example, the double mini-roundabout, OK?
0:32:44 > 0:32:48So you come round here, then it is your right of way going up here.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50- But...- Action!
0:32:52 > 0:32:54HE SCREAMS
0:32:56 > 0:32:59'After a great deal of extremely hard work, we ended up with
0:32:59 > 0:33:02'a couple of films that we could take to our panel of experts.'
0:33:02 > 0:33:04Before we show them to you, let me say,
0:33:04 > 0:33:08do you remember the early public information films from our youth?
0:33:08 > 0:33:11- I do.- They always picked on some very specific detail.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14Don't put a rug on a polished floor or don't fish under
0:33:14 > 0:33:16power lines. They were very tight.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20And so, we have tried to focus on very specific details
0:33:20 > 0:33:26of cycling that we experience. We hope that erm...
0:33:26 > 0:33:29- This one first? - Yes, I think that's...- OK.
0:33:34 > 0:33:38'Cut the green wire. For God's sake, do not cut the red wire.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41'It is imperative to cut the green wire.'
0:33:58 > 0:34:00- Well, I mean...- I'm not sure we're getting anywhere here...
0:34:00 > 0:34:02What are you trying to achieve with that?
0:34:02 > 0:34:05Cyclists jump red lights, we know this.
0:34:05 > 0:34:06Everybody has seen that happen.
0:34:06 > 0:34:09It is what annoys people most about bicycles.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12This is making the roads a happier place because cyclists
0:34:12 > 0:34:15wait like they are supposed to, car drivers aren't infuriated.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18And cyclists don't get knocked off or indeed blown up.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21You didn't listen to what we said, did you?
0:34:21 > 0:34:23You said we had to make the roads a more harmonious place.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Exploding cyclists doesn't really get that message across.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30You're really trying to waste our time today because that is way off.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33- What, you want them to jump red lights?- No, we don't.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36I'm talking about that commercial, it is absolutely wrong.
0:34:36 > 0:34:40- Well, let's try... Yes.- Yes, please.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43This may be more to your taste then, I think.
0:34:43 > 0:34:48'I have a dream. That all men are created equal.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51'Dr Martin Luther King was shot
0:34:51 > 0:34:54'and killed on the balcony of his motel in Memphis.'
0:34:56 > 0:34:58# Imagine there's no heaven... #
0:34:58 > 0:35:02'The former Beatle, John Lennon, has been shot and killed in New York.'
0:35:02 > 0:35:05# It's easy if you try... #
0:35:06 > 0:35:09'The righteousness of Jesus Christ.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12'Jesus died on the cross for our sins.'
0:35:22 > 0:35:24So this is a no, isn't it?
0:35:30 > 0:35:33'And with that, it was back to the studio.'
0:35:33 > 0:35:37APPLAUSE
0:35:39 > 0:35:46- So...- There is no way...- Come on. No. So, you two completely cocked it up.
0:35:46 > 0:35:50I don't know what was wrong with my jet bike.
0:35:50 > 0:35:53Well, it was a motor on a bicycle
0:35:53 > 0:35:56and therefore it was a "motor" cycle.
0:35:56 > 0:36:00- It wasn't a motorcycle, it was superb.- How fast did it go?
0:36:00 > 0:36:03At one point I was clocked at 73mph.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Yes, that does sound like the top speed of a motorbike.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08- He is right, you know.- Thank you. - He isn't right.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12And anyway, listen, eventually we did come up with a film which
0:36:12 > 0:36:15we think will keep that panel of experts happy.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20Because, in essence, it makes everybody happy
0:36:20 > 0:36:23and gooey with everybody else.
0:36:23 > 0:36:24Here we go, let's have a watch.
0:36:24 > 0:36:29'Cyclists get wet, cold and tired.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32'They turn up for work with revolting armpits.
0:36:33 > 0:36:37'Their clothes are hideous, and to prevent boils and sores,
0:36:37 > 0:36:39'they have to put gel on their buttocks.
0:36:41 > 0:36:45'However, because three-quarters of a million people are prepared
0:36:45 > 0:36:49'to go through this misery every day, there are fewer traffic jams.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51'The roads are quieter
0:36:51 > 0:36:54'which is good news...
0:36:54 > 0:36:56'for normal people.
0:36:59 > 0:37:05'Cyclists. Give them an inch because they have given YOU a mile.'
0:37:05 > 0:37:08APPLAUSE
0:37:10 > 0:37:15No, an inch? They need 6ft.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18No, Hammond, it is a figure of speech, you idiot.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22I couldn't say, you know, give them 1.85m, that is ridiculous.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24The fact is, we have solved cycling.
0:37:24 > 0:37:28Anyway, it is time to put a Star in our Reasonably Priced Car.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31And we are going to do something incredible.
0:37:31 > 0:37:32For the next few minutes,
0:37:32 > 0:37:36we are going to stop your teenage daughter from texting.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38And that's because my guest tonight played
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42CHEERING AND SQUEALING
0:37:42 > 0:37:45Stopped already! Ladies and gentlemen, Aaron Paul!
0:37:45 > 0:37:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:37:49 > 0:37:52He's here.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55- How are you?- What's up, buddy? - How are you?- I'm good, I'm good.
0:37:57 > 0:37:58Hi.
0:38:01 > 0:38:05- I love them.- Yes, this is a big noise. Have a seat.
0:38:05 > 0:38:08- All right.- Have a seat.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12It is strange to have on a guest from a show that was
0:38:12 > 0:38:14- never on British TV...- Yeah.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17- ..who is now in a film that isn't even out yet.- Yeah.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20- Everyone is screaming and yelling. - I love you all.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23- AUDIENCE:- We love you!
0:38:23 > 0:38:28- Let's do the film, if we may. It is Need For Speed.- Need For Speed.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31It is the story of Tobey Marshall, the guy I play.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35He spends a couple of years in prison for something that he did not do,
0:38:35 > 0:38:39so the moment he gets out of prison it's just...
0:38:39 > 0:38:42He is trying to right a wrong, vengeance is on his mind.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45He has to try and get from the East Coast to the West Coast
0:38:45 > 0:38:48in less than 48 hours in a car, a very fast car.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51- What sort of car? - It is a Shelby Mustang.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54- Shelby Mustang?- Yeah.- Well, it can be quite fast, nice straight line.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57You should be able to do that.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00So it sounds like it has got Top Gear written all over it.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02Yeah, he wanted to do a throwback, our director,
0:39:02 > 0:39:06to films that really started this genre.
0:39:06 > 0:39:10Like Bullitt and Vanishing Point and Smokey And The Bandit.
0:39:10 > 0:39:14Back then they couldn't rely on CG, they couldn't rely on green screen
0:39:14 > 0:39:18so everything you see in this movie actually happened.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21- There is no CGI?- No CG whatsoever. - Seriously?- Yeah.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23Let's have a look at a clip
0:39:23 > 0:39:26and you will see why I am looking incredulous. Here we go.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29'They took everything from me.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41'All those who defied me...
0:39:42 > 0:39:47'..shall be ashamed and disgraced.
0:39:48 > 0:39:53'Those who wage war against me... shall perish.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58'I will find strength...
0:40:00 > 0:40:05'..find guidance. And I...will...triumph.'
0:40:16 > 0:40:18APPLAUSE
0:40:18 > 0:40:23- That was all for real?- Yeah, it's... It gets pretty violent.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26So it really did do a roll?
0:40:26 > 0:40:27They actually did those, yes.
0:40:27 > 0:40:30- I presume these are body shells, they are not actual...- No, no, no.
0:40:30 > 0:40:33..million dollar cars?
0:40:33 > 0:40:37We consider those cars a piece of art.
0:40:37 > 0:40:41But the kit cars they built were about 300,000 a piece
0:40:41 > 0:40:42and they just destroyed them.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45That is unbelievable but forgive me,
0:40:45 > 0:40:46I have got to get on to Breaking Bad.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48Yes.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50CHEERING Thank you.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53There's quite a few puzzled faces going, "What is Breaking Bad?"
0:40:53 > 0:40:57- "What is Breaking Bad?" - This is Jesse Pinkman.
0:40:57 > 0:40:58As far as I am concerned,
0:40:58 > 0:41:01I am now talking to the world's greatest crystal meth salesman.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03Yes. LAUGHTER
0:41:03 > 0:41:05For those who don't know,
0:41:05 > 0:41:07it was about a chemistry teacher who meets a delinquent,
0:41:07 > 0:41:10an ex-pupil. He's got this guy, he has been diagnosed with cancer
0:41:10 > 0:41:14and he thinks, "To pay for my treatment I will start making
0:41:14 > 0:41:16"crystal meth cos I am a chemistry teacher."
0:41:16 > 0:41:18And the series runs from there.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22- We don't really have crystal meth in this country.- That's great.
0:41:22 > 0:41:26- Do you know what it is? - No, not really.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28I have been making it for the past six years
0:41:28 > 0:41:31and I have no idea what it is. No, it is just a terrible, awful drug.
0:41:31 > 0:41:35It just grabs a hold of some people and just doesn't let go.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38Do you know what I loved about the show? It is the detailing in it.
0:41:38 > 0:41:43- And the cars you all drove.- Yes, they are incredible.- Who chose those?
0:41:43 > 0:41:44It was all Vince Gilligan.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46He is the creator of the show,
0:41:46 > 0:41:49his attention to detail is just incredible.
0:41:49 > 0:41:55There is this famous conversation he had for two hours about the certain
0:41:55 > 0:41:59colour of red nail polish that was going to go on Skyler's toenails.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02He was going to get the cars right because Walter,
0:42:02 > 0:42:05- who is the chemistry teacher, has a Pontiac Aztek.- Yes.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08Never been sold here but it was probably the worst car.
0:42:09 > 0:42:14- It is just such a sad car.- Look at it.- Look at that, it is just so sad.
0:42:14 > 0:42:18It is a sign that your life has gone terribly, terribly wrong.
0:42:20 > 0:42:21It was interesting with you
0:42:21 > 0:42:25- because you started out with a Chevy Monte Carlo, wasn't it?- Yes.
0:42:25 > 0:42:26When you were a delinquent.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28But when you became more and more successful,
0:42:28 > 0:42:30switched to the Toyota Tercel.
0:42:30 > 0:42:31Look at that.
0:42:31 > 0:42:33I actually wanted that car so bad when we wrapped.
0:42:33 > 0:42:39- Were you able to keep it?- No, they didn't allow me to take it.- Why not?
0:42:39 > 0:42:40It is worth 32.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45That is shocking, but it is that attention to detail which
0:42:45 > 0:42:48I absolutely adored, I really did.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51Now, more questions about Breaking Bad, which fascinates me.
0:42:51 > 0:42:57About American television. We know that US networks, they are brutal.
0:42:57 > 0:42:58One minute...
0:42:58 > 0:43:01LAUGHTER
0:43:01 > 0:43:06- You've got a chat show... Um... - LAUGHTER
0:43:07 > 0:43:11- Who are you talking about?- Did you know Piers Morgan?- Oh, yeah! Yeah.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13I had a feeling you were talking about him.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16Where I was going, really - you have got these US networks,
0:43:16 > 0:43:20presumably Breaking Bad was only ever going to be one series.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23- They would have only commissioned one, to see how it works?- Yeah.
0:43:23 > 0:43:29Every network passed on Breaking Bad initially. HBO Showtime, everyone.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32- And then AMC decided to give it a shot.- With one series?
0:43:32 > 0:43:37With one pilot. And then they had to see how that was, how it turned out.
0:43:37 > 0:43:42I mean, we were lucky we even stayed on the air because our ratings
0:43:42 > 0:43:45weren't that great. But the critics loved us. So...
0:43:45 > 0:43:47No, it was very clever. Absolutely brilliant.
0:43:47 > 0:43:51- Thank you.- Now, your cars in real life - not a Toyota Tercel?
0:43:51 > 0:43:53You started out with a Toyota, I believe?
0:43:53 > 0:43:59- I did, I started out with an '82 Toyota Corolla.- Mm-mm(!)- Yeah.
0:43:59 > 0:44:02- It was beautiful.- Was it(?) - Faded gold.
0:44:02 > 0:44:04Any time it rained,
0:44:04 > 0:44:06the trunk would fill up with water, stick shift.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08But I loved that car. Stick shift
0:44:08 > 0:44:12- And I bought a Toyota Forerunner. - It's getting worse.
0:44:14 > 0:44:18- And then I bought an old classic car.- OK, which is?
0:44:18 > 0:44:21A '65 Shelby Cobra.
0:44:21 > 0:44:22- Really?- Oh!
0:44:24 > 0:44:28We could have... You know, you see... The Shelby Cobra...
0:44:28 > 0:44:32- Oh, there- it is. That is actually... that is you in it!- That is my car.
0:44:32 > 0:44:36I only take it... It is my weekend car, I take it along the coast.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40But if you are driving in a parking lot, it sets off the alarms.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42- I love doing that.- It's great. It's fantastic.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44They are absolutely fabulous.
0:44:44 > 0:44:46My daughter is going to be mental now,
0:44:46 > 0:44:49because that is her favourite car and her favourite actor driving it.
0:44:49 > 0:44:51- I love your daughter.- Yeah.
0:44:51 > 0:44:53No, you don't. Um...
0:44:53 > 0:44:56LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:44:56 > 0:45:00Right, now. Obviously you came down here...
0:45:00 > 0:45:01This is ballsy, I've got to say,
0:45:01 > 0:45:06because you have come down here to do your lap, which is quite brave.
0:45:06 > 0:45:10Yeah. Let's see how I did. I mean, I don't know. It was fun.
0:45:10 > 0:45:12- Shall we have a look at the lap? - Oh, God!
0:45:12 > 0:45:15- AUDIENCE:- Yeah. - Here we go.
0:45:15 > 0:45:16ENGINE SCREAMS
0:45:16 > 0:45:17TYRES SCREECH
0:45:17 > 0:45:20Wow, that is a brutal start.
0:45:20 > 0:45:22All right, I just don't want to get last.
0:45:23 > 0:45:28Setting high goals for myself. Not to get last.
0:45:28 > 0:45:31No, it's OK, because for the first time ever this year,
0:45:31 > 0:45:33the weather is good.
0:45:33 > 0:45:35TYRES SCREECH
0:45:35 > 0:45:38- That thing does grip well. Here we go.- Yeah.
0:45:38 > 0:45:41- It's OK, it's OK.- Yeah.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46- Come on.- Tongue out.
0:45:47 > 0:45:51- Oh, that is a very good line around there.- Thank you.
0:45:51 > 0:45:56- Very nice.- The dreaded Hammerhead, I hate this turn.
0:45:56 > 0:45:58OK, OK...
0:45:59 > 0:46:03- That is heavy braking you are giving it there!- Yeah. Well, you know.
0:46:03 > 0:46:06Oh, that is very, very neat and tidy.
0:46:07 > 0:46:09Come on, you...
0:46:11 > 0:46:12..bitch!
0:46:12 > 0:46:15- LAUGHTER - We knew it!
0:46:15 > 0:46:18No way were you going to get round the lap without saying THAT!
0:46:22 > 0:46:26Ooh, the comfortable line, missing the apex.
0:46:26 > 0:46:28Second-to-last corner, this catches...
0:46:28 > 0:46:31Well, that was absolutely bob on.
0:46:31 > 0:46:35Now, Gambon, again kissing everything perfectly
0:46:35 > 0:46:37and you cross the line!
0:46:37 > 0:46:39CHEERING
0:46:39 > 0:46:43- Ah-h-h...- Well, now.
0:46:45 > 0:46:46These are the wet times.
0:46:46 > 0:46:49You will not be last, because Jack Whitehall, bless him,
0:46:49 > 0:46:52he had never driven before. So you will not be lower than him.
0:46:52 > 0:46:56- OK, good.- So, where do you think you came?- I have no idea.
0:46:56 > 0:47:02- I want to be above James Blunt. - James Blunt was 1.49.4.
0:47:02 > 0:47:05That is FW, which stands for flipping wet.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07So you are definitely going to the above him.
0:47:07 > 0:47:08So come on, be reasonable.
0:47:08 > 0:47:11I mean, I would like to be towards the top, but...
0:47:11 > 0:47:14- That is the 1.45 region.- Yeah. I mean, I don't know...
0:47:14 > 0:47:15Do you know, I was just about to say,
0:47:15 > 0:47:17"Well, Jesse Pinkman..." But I won't.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21- Aaron Paul.- Yes.- 1...
0:47:21 > 0:47:22forty...
0:47:28 > 0:47:30- ..4... - AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:47:30 > 0:47:31- Oh!- ..7.
0:47:32 > 0:47:34That is the best we've ever had!
0:47:34 > 0:47:37- CHEERING - Number one.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39- Come here.- Yes!- Wow!
0:47:39 > 0:47:43- That's good.- Good man.- Yes!
0:47:43 > 0:47:47The fastest man ever to take the Astra around the track.
0:47:47 > 0:47:50- That's amazing. - Ladies and gentlemen, Aaron Paul!
0:47:50 > 0:47:52CHEERING
0:47:55 > 0:47:59Now, that is going to take some beating!
0:47:59 > 0:48:04This is the £650,000 Porsche 918.
0:48:04 > 0:48:05It is insanely fast.
0:48:05 > 0:48:11It's rammed full of technology and most importantly, it is a hybrid.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14In many ways, then, exactly the same as the McLaren P1 that Jeremy
0:48:14 > 0:48:17fell in love with a few weeks back.
0:48:17 > 0:48:20The big question, though... Is it any good?
0:48:20 > 0:48:23- No! - LAUGHTER
0:48:29 > 0:48:34When Jeremy tested the P1, he took it to the Spa racetrack in Belgium.
0:48:34 > 0:48:38My F1 track may not have that pedigree,
0:48:38 > 0:48:43but at this place, at least the fun doesn't stop when the sun goes down.
0:49:15 > 0:49:20The Abu Dhabi circuit is also famed for having a 1.2km straight,
0:49:20 > 0:49:22one of the longest anywhere.
0:49:22 > 0:49:25Seems like a good place to start.
0:49:25 > 0:49:27Let's make some noise.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29ENGINE ROARS TYRES SCREECH
0:49:30 > 0:49:31Oh, that is breathtaking!
0:49:40 > 0:49:41Oh, ha-ha-ha!
0:49:43 > 0:49:459,000rpm.
0:49:45 > 0:49:47Boom!
0:49:49 > 0:49:51Yee-nar!
0:49:51 > 0:49:53Big speed!
0:49:53 > 0:49:55280.
0:49:57 > 0:49:58Braking...
0:50:00 > 0:50:04Oh, that is... That is acceleration unlike anything else.
0:50:04 > 0:50:08I know Jeremy's head was blown off by the speed of that P1,
0:50:08 > 0:50:13but I absolutely cannot believe that it felt any faster than this.
0:50:13 > 0:50:15It can't have done.
0:50:19 > 0:50:24'Like the McLaren, the 918 has a joint strike force of petrol engine
0:50:24 > 0:50:27'and electric motors working together.'
0:50:29 > 0:50:34It's that electric power that gives it so much punch off the line.
0:50:35 > 0:50:40I have 500 foot-pound of torque at 800rpm. 800!
0:50:40 > 0:50:44The 458 doesn't have 500 torques at any rpm.
0:50:45 > 0:50:48It just wakes up, it's like a sprinter falling out of bed
0:50:48 > 0:50:50and going straight into a world record
0:50:50 > 0:50:52while the others are eating cornflakes
0:50:52 > 0:50:54and thinking about having a poo.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57'The petrol engine, which sounds ungodly through those
0:50:57 > 0:51:00'top-mounted exhausts,
0:51:00 > 0:51:05'is a 612 horsepower 4.6 litre V8.'
0:51:10 > 0:51:13On the topic of power and performance,
0:51:13 > 0:51:17the 918 and the P1 can trade punches all day long.
0:51:21 > 0:51:27The 918 can't match the P1's top speed, 218 compared to 211.
0:51:29 > 0:51:36'But I get to 60 quicker. 2.6 seconds to his sluggish 2.8.'
0:51:36 > 0:51:42I've got 875 brake horsepower and the P1 has 903, but I've got more torque.
0:51:46 > 0:51:50And on and on and on it goes. It's King Kong versus Godzilla.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04'There are some areas, though,
0:52:04 > 0:52:08'where the 918 definitely has the P1 on the ropes.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11'It can retrieve energy generated by braking
0:52:11 > 0:52:14'and feed it back into the batteries.
0:52:14 > 0:52:19'The roof lifts out so you can enjoy some open-top cruising.
0:52:19 > 0:52:23'And inside, you get some actual creature comforts,
0:52:23 > 0:52:27'like electric seats and an 11-speaker sound system.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30'You don't get either of those on a P1.'
0:52:30 > 0:52:34I am not one to gloat, but hello, glove box, yeah?
0:52:34 > 0:52:38And then this centre console, from where I can control the top screen.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41That does many things up there.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43And then over 800 functions can be controlled
0:52:43 > 0:52:46from the touch-sensitive screen down here.
0:52:46 > 0:52:47Maybe I can go online
0:52:47 > 0:52:52and order Jeremy a set of spanners to adjust the seat on his P1.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54Look up "old-fashioned" for me.
0:52:57 > 0:53:01'In addition to the wealth of on-board amusements,
0:53:01 > 0:53:04'the 918 also has many driving modes.'
0:53:05 > 0:53:08Right now, I am in fully electric mode.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13And I can whisper around like this for 18 miles,
0:53:13 > 0:53:17compared to the P1's seven.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19But if I go down here, I can select hybrid.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23And that allows it to alternate between petrol
0:53:23 > 0:53:26and electric in the most efficient way.
0:53:26 > 0:53:32Or we've got sport mode, where we have petrol power all the time.
0:53:32 > 0:53:36But, I'm here on this racetrack, so let's go one further.
0:53:36 > 0:53:37Put it in race mode.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45'Now the petrol engine is top dog.
0:53:45 > 0:53:47'The electric motors are acting as its wingmen.'
0:53:49 > 0:53:51It's time to attack some corners.
0:53:57 > 0:53:58Hell's bells!
0:54:02 > 0:54:03That grip!
0:54:09 > 0:54:13God, this thing corners - and I mean it - flat!
0:54:13 > 0:54:14Totally flat.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22And there is none of that bottom-clenching terror Jeremy
0:54:22 > 0:54:23talked about in the P1.
0:54:28 > 0:54:32'Partly, that is because where the P1 is rear drive only,
0:54:32 > 0:54:37'the 918 has four-wheel-drive and four-wheel steering.'
0:54:41 > 0:54:42I think in essence yes,
0:54:42 > 0:54:46the P1 is more a proper fighter pilot, seat-of-the-pants staff.
0:54:46 > 0:54:49This is altogether more civilised.
0:54:49 > 0:54:52But that does not mean it's boring, because it just isn't.
0:54:56 > 0:55:01The back end crates away like a rear-wheel-drive car.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03Ha-ha-ha!
0:55:05 > 0:55:07What a thing!
0:55:14 > 0:55:19'But even though the 918 is more grown-up than the P1,
0:55:19 > 0:55:23'it can still boast some pretty exciting achievements.'
0:55:25 > 0:55:26The fact is,
0:55:26 > 0:55:30this car has lapped the Nurburgring in 6 minutes 57 seconds.
0:55:30 > 0:55:34That is faster than any other road-legal production car.
0:55:34 > 0:55:35To put it into context,
0:55:35 > 0:55:40a hard-core Lexus LFA did it in 7 minutes 14 seconds.
0:55:40 > 0:55:45The mighty Nissan GTR was almost half a minute slower.
0:55:45 > 0:55:48As for the P1, McLaren are saying it has gone round in under
0:55:48 > 0:55:52seven minutes, but they're not saying an actual time.
0:55:54 > 0:55:57I don't know, maybe they lost the piece of paper it was written on.
0:55:57 > 0:55:58Or something.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19'With daylight coming, I locked up,
0:56:19 > 0:56:22'left the keys to the circuit under the mat
0:56:22 > 0:56:24'and went in search of breakfast.
0:56:26 > 0:56:31'Full of awe for this incredible machine.'
0:56:31 > 0:56:36Here I am with 875bhp, a 4.6 litre V8 that sounds...
0:56:36 > 0:56:37ENGINE ROARS
0:56:37 > 0:56:39..like that.
0:56:39 > 0:56:43And yet the CO2 emissions are lower than a Toyota Prius.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46And certainly, much lower than a P1.
0:56:46 > 0:56:51I don't know, this is just all round a more impressive achievement.
0:56:51 > 0:56:53It is more of its time.
0:56:53 > 0:56:54To put it another way,
0:56:54 > 0:57:00McLaren have used hybrid technology to liven up a supercar today.
0:57:00 > 0:57:05Porsche have used hybrid technology to save the supercar for tomorrow.
0:57:07 > 0:57:08This is an important car.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16CHEERING
0:57:16 > 0:57:17Oh, yeah.
0:57:17 > 0:57:22- There it is. I'm amazed it didn't catch fire.- Shut up.
0:57:22 > 0:57:24Never mind that. Now, listen, Hammond.
0:57:24 > 0:57:29In that film, you said there is none of the bottom-clenching terror
0:57:29 > 0:57:32when you drive this that you get in a McLaren P1. How do you know?
0:57:32 > 0:57:35You haven't driven a McLaren P1.
0:57:35 > 0:57:37I know that because after you had driven the McLaren P1,
0:57:37 > 0:57:40you said it was a day of bottom-clenching terror.
0:57:40 > 0:57:42I did, a bit.
0:57:42 > 0:57:45But I was driving in the pouring rain at Spa.
0:57:45 > 0:57:48You were in Abu Dhabi, bone dry,
0:57:48 > 0:57:51and with eight mile run-offs on all the corners.
0:57:51 > 0:57:54The fact is, the 918 can handle its power better.
0:57:54 > 0:57:56Its dribble of power.
0:57:56 > 0:57:58It has barely got enough to get out of its own way.
0:57:58 > 0:58:01And how do you know that? Because you haven't driven the Porsche.
0:58:01 > 0:58:03Because Porsche won't let me.
0:58:03 > 0:58:06Yes, because they know, Jennifer, you can't drive in a straight line.
0:58:06 > 0:58:09- We've seen it.- At least I didn't write a book about it.
0:58:09 > 0:58:12- And try to milk the moment. - Enough, enough, enough.
0:58:12 > 0:58:15Let me interrupt with the solution to all this.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17Because later on in the year, hopefully, we are
0:58:17 > 0:58:19going to make a special Top Gear programme.
0:58:19 > 0:58:23One in which Richard and Jennifer bring the Porsche 918
0:58:23 > 0:58:26and the McLaren P1 down to our track
0:58:26 > 0:58:28and we will see which is the fastest.
0:58:28 > 0:58:30Should be quite good, actually.
0:58:30 > 0:58:32Hopefully, we will be able to put together
0:58:32 > 0:58:33June, July sometime, around then.
0:58:33 > 0:58:35And it'll basically be England versus Germany.
0:58:35 > 0:58:40But before then, in fact, starting next weekend,
0:58:40 > 0:58:45we have our all-new, two-part, Top Gear Christmas special.
0:58:45 > 0:58:48- Yet, it is a bit late, we're sorry. - A bit late, yes.
0:58:48 > 0:58:50- It's an Easter special.- Whatever.
0:58:50 > 0:58:55The three of us are told to build a bridge over the River Kwai.
0:58:56 > 0:58:59But first, we have to get there.
0:58:59 > 0:59:04And that means driving all the way across Burma in lorries that we
0:59:04 > 0:59:08bought from the Internet unseen for a few hundred quid.
0:59:10 > 0:59:11And on that BURMA-shell...
0:59:11 > 0:59:13- There- it is. ..it's time to end.
0:59:13 > 0:59:16Thank you so much for watching. Good night.
0:59:16 > 0:59:19CHEERING