0:00:10 > 0:00:14'Tonight - the new Porsche Cayman on our track.'
0:00:14 > 0:00:18'The Ferrari, the Ferrari at the limit in Italy, Italy.'
0:00:18 > 0:00:21'And an old Peugeot goes past some goats.'
0:00:25 > 0:00:28APPLAUSE
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Hello!
0:00:30 > 0:00:34Hello, good evening, thank you so much, everybody, thank you!
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Thanks very much, everyone.
0:00:36 > 0:00:42Now, every few years Chevrolet introduces a new Corvette,
0:00:42 > 0:00:47and they always say this is the best sports car in America.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49And you go, yes, in the same way that
0:00:49 > 0:00:52I'm the best-dressed presenter on Top Gear.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Which, actually, as you'll see later on, I am.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Anyway, the truth is no Corvette has ever been a match for
0:00:59 > 0:01:01the best that Europe can do.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04And it looks like it's much the same story with this,
0:01:04 > 0:01:06the latest model.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07But is it?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Well, Richard Hammond has been finding out.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22'To me, Corvettes have always looked great.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28'And for this one, the seventh generation,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31'they really have pulled out all the stops.'
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Ohhh!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Oh, yah.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Ohhhh!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Oh, no. Gets worse.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44They've even brought back
0:01:44 > 0:01:47the Stingray badge from the classic Corvettes of the '60s.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50I'd say that was job done.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54'Except it isn't, because there's more.'
0:01:58 > 0:02:00We have a 6.2 litre V8,
0:02:00 > 0:02:03460 horsepower and the same number in torque,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06which means in any gear, at any speed,
0:02:06 > 0:02:08you put your foot down...
0:02:09 > 0:02:10..and stuff happens!
0:02:15 > 0:02:16HE LAUGHS
0:02:17 > 0:02:19There's the noise!
0:02:22 > 0:02:25There's the shove in the back.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29'0-60 is all over in less than four seconds.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31'Top speed - 190.'
0:02:31 > 0:02:33HE LAUGHS
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Why do the oaf and the bore not get what's going on here?
0:02:37 > 0:02:42I mean, James May likes a car that makes his fizzy bit fizz.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44This'd put a SodaStream in his grundies.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51'The Vette costs £65,000,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53'which might sound like a lot
0:02:53 > 0:02:57'until you compare it to its rivals from this side of the pond.'
0:02:59 > 0:03:03To get a Jaguar F Type V8, you'll need another 20,000.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06An Audi R8 V8, another 30,000.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10A 911 V8, well, you can't. There's no such thing.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13But to get close to the same power in a 911
0:03:13 > 0:03:15you'll need another £25,000.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18In fact, if you're looking for a European sports car
0:03:18 > 0:03:19for the same money,
0:03:19 > 0:03:21you're looking at this.
0:03:25 > 0:03:31'It's the latest version of the 911's baby brother,
0:03:31 > 0:03:33'the Porsche Cayman GTS.'
0:03:39 > 0:03:42But here's the thing - even though the Cayman costs
0:03:42 > 0:03:45about the same as the Corvette, when it comes to power difference,
0:03:45 > 0:03:49the gulf between them is wide enough to swallow a supertanker.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52An American supertanker.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57This has 336 brake horsepower, compared to the Corvette's 460.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00And this has 185 fewer torques.
0:04:02 > 0:04:07'All of which means it's absolutely pointless having a drag race.'
0:04:08 > 0:04:12We're going to do it anyway because we are intelligent and thorough.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Three, two, one, go!
0:04:24 > 0:04:26'And there we are.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28'As I said, absolutely pointless.'
0:04:31 > 0:04:33But here's the thing.
0:04:33 > 0:04:39In its own right, the Cayman GTS is a small but magnificent little thing.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44Pitch-perfect engineering.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Total precision.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55It just feels lithe, nimble, compact, all those words,
0:04:55 > 0:04:59balance, poise, predictability, tractability,
0:04:59 > 0:05:02all those good, lovely, yummy things. It's got them all.
0:05:04 > 0:05:09The perfect example of exactly what a European sports car should be.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15'It's a crushing demonstration of what's possible,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18'what good engineering should be.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20'And why Europe, not America,
0:05:20 > 0:05:24'has always been where you turn for proper sports cars.'
0:05:26 > 0:05:27So here we are -
0:05:27 > 0:05:30at that point in the test where, traditionally, I'd say,
0:05:30 > 0:05:34"The Corvette looks brilliant, great value, lots of fun, but..."
0:05:34 > 0:05:36And then I'd do a deep sigh.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38HE SIGHS
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Sadly, in the company of the Porsche,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42the Corvette simply can't hack it.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Then we'd play some sad music and I'd say, "Back to the studio."
0:05:48 > 0:05:52'But no. This time we're not going back to the studio.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54'We're going back to the Corvette,
0:05:54 > 0:05:59'because this is no longer some hillbilly hot rod.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02'It's got suspension made of carbon fibre.
0:06:02 > 0:06:07'It has seat frames crafted from ultra-light magnesium.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11'It has different driving modes, like you get in a Ferrari,
0:06:11 > 0:06:15'and that big shouty V8 can shut down half its cylinders
0:06:15 > 0:06:17'to make it more economical.'
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Previous Corvette underbodies were really not very far from that.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30But this is an all-new hi-tech bonded aluminium affair that
0:06:30 > 0:06:32manages to be lighter and stiffer.
0:06:34 > 0:06:39Best of all is that it was developed at the Nurburgring, not Nashville.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41'This means that the cornering is...'
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Well, it's a bit of an event!
0:06:51 > 0:06:56All this power, all this bigness, but it's still essentially tameable.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Remember when you had a pet elephant as a kid?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03It's like that.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09It is Sweet Home Alabama, it's cowgirls in denim shorts...
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Yes! It's everything I wanted it to be!
0:07:18 > 0:07:22'But what it is more is a match for the Europeans.'
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Let's be quite clear here.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30It's not like the Corvette has lost all of its redneck charm.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32If the Porsche is a laboratory full of laser beams,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35this is a Wild West saloon.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41But you don't have to apologise for it. You don't have to say,
0:07:41 > 0:07:45"Well, at least it's cheap," or, "It's the best they can do."
0:07:45 > 0:07:46It simply is good.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52In fact, it's the best sports car ever to come out of America,
0:07:52 > 0:07:56and for once, you can't follow that up with a joke.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It's a good car.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08It is annoying.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13That is annoying, because for the second time this series,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I agree with you. Actually, the second time in my LIFE
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- I agree with you.- Right, you're not going to call me Billy Bob Hammond?
0:08:19 > 0:08:22No, and nor am I going to mention that jacket.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25No, no, I know, I know you want me to but I'm not going to.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27What I'm actually going to do is ask you this.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Which one of these two would you have?
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Uh, you see, that's actually really difficult
0:08:33 > 0:08:34cos they are both epic to drive.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- They are. - You can't argue with that.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39But, I don't know, I don't think the Porsche looks very good.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- It looks dowdy. - It does, so I'd have the Corvette.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44The trouble is with the Corvette, though, is
0:08:44 > 0:08:46you don't have to apologise for it, as you said,
0:08:46 > 0:08:49but you would have to explain it. You'd have to go around saying,
0:08:49 > 0:08:52"Oh, it's got magnesium seats and carbon fibre suspension,"
0:08:52 > 0:08:55or everyone would just think you were a dreadful show-off.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Yeah, it would be like taking a lap dancer home to meet your mother.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02You'd have to say, "No, she's got A-Levels!"
0:09:02 > 0:09:03You're absolutely right.
0:09:03 > 0:09:08So what we've got here is a choice between a slightly dirty librarian
0:09:08 > 0:09:10and a clever lap dancer.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14So let's see which is the fastest round our track.
0:09:14 > 0:09:19Of course, that means handing them over to our tame racing driver.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Some say that his favourite flower is the potato,
0:09:23 > 0:09:28and that even though he's now seen Fifty Shades of Grey,
0:09:28 > 0:09:32he still thinks BDSM is a driving school.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35All we know is he's called the Stig!
0:09:35 > 0:09:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:37 > 0:09:39'And they're off! Two confident starts there.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43'The Porsche is mid-engine, the Corvette has a transaxle.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45'Both clearly had good traction off the line.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49'It's the scalpel versus the hammer, flying through the first corner.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53'And, oh, wow, it's the Porsche that's sliding!
0:09:53 > 0:09:55MUSIC: "Close To You" by the Carpenters
0:09:59 > 0:10:03'Seems to be reversing round in the Corvette.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05'Right through Chicago,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07'again it's the Cayman that's kicking its tail out.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11'Shock and awe Chevy completely under control!
0:10:11 > 0:10:14'This is the real test, of course, Hammerhead.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16'Yep, Corvette gets a bit of a slide on
0:10:16 > 0:10:19'as the Stig unleashes a 460 horsepower drift!
0:10:22 > 0:10:25'Right, follow through.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29'Porsche needs some corrective lock on the way in, that's a surprise.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35'OK, now we're coming up. Just two corners left, braking hard,
0:10:35 > 0:10:40'no dramas from either side of the Atlantic, into Gambon.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43'Yes, the Cayman's sliding again! And across the line!'
0:10:43 > 0:10:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:45 > 0:10:46- Right.- Yeah.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49I have the times here.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53The pantyless Porsche librarian -
0:10:53 > 0:10:551:21.6.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59- So, not bad, same as an Audi R8 V10. - That's quick, yeah.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- But... - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:11:01 > 0:11:03..the clever lap dancer...
0:11:03 > 0:11:05- 1:19.8.- No way! That's...!
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Look at that, same as a Porsche Carrera GT.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10That is a seriously fast car.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12There's been a disturbance in the Force!
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Something weird's happening.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Anyway, the news, and we start with this,
0:11:17 > 0:11:20the new Ford Focus RS.
0:11:20 > 0:11:25That has 320 horsepower from a 2.3 litre turbocharged engine.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28And, most important, this, four-wheel drive.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30You know what this is, don't you?
0:11:30 > 0:11:34- Mm-mm.- This is the return of the Escort Cosworth.- Yeah.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Happy days!
0:11:35 > 0:11:39It is, I'm excited, but it won't be as good as a Fiesta ST.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40- Well, it will. - No, it won't!- It will!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- The Fiesta's...! - 320 horsepowers!
0:11:42 > 0:11:46I know but it's about purity of experience in a hot hatch.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49That comes, apparently, according to one source in America
0:11:49 > 0:11:51- with a drift button.- A what?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Drift button, push that, even he'll be able to drift.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- What, you push that and it just drifts?- Yes.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57I don't want to drift.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- Yes, you do!- I don't. Drifting is for the unintelligent.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03It isn't!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05It's a mating ritual. Girls love it!
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Yeah, he's right.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10No, it is, it's like having a massive tail.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12LAUGHTER
0:12:14 > 0:12:15It's just me -
0:12:15 > 0:12:17in Ross-on-Wye.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22Ooh, now, you know Apple, makers of computers and, um, telephones?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Yes. - Apparently they're working on a car.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- Really?- Yes.- Does it come with predictive steering?
0:12:28 > 0:12:29That's never going to work, is it?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32It is... No, I'm not sure that it will work, cos every time
0:12:32 > 0:12:35you get in it, it will say, "What's your iTunes password?"
0:12:35 > 0:12:38And then it'll make you have one that you can't remember.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40And then it'll go wrong, and you'll ring them up
0:12:40 > 0:12:43and they'll say, "Oh, it's your fault, you're holding it wrong."
0:12:43 > 0:12:45And then one day it'll send
0:12:45 > 0:12:47a picture of your bosoms to the internet.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48LAUGHTER
0:12:48 > 0:12:50You're right about the, um, passwords,
0:12:50 > 0:12:52cos Apple iTunes the other day said to me,
0:12:52 > 0:12:55"You must change your password, it's far too easy to guess."
0:12:55 > 0:12:59And I thought, how's anybody ever going to guess it's "Carrot29?"
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- I mean, that's... - Now, I tell you what,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04there's a general election coming up, you may have heard.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06- Is there? - Yes, there is, even in Wales.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09And, um, and a lot of people are saying,
0:13:09 > 0:13:11"Oh, I can't be bothered to get involved,
0:13:11 > 0:13:14"and all politicians are the same and all the parties are the same."
0:13:14 > 0:13:17So we thought, I wonder if we could decide who to vote for,
0:13:17 > 0:13:18on what the leaders drive.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20- Great idea.- Very good idea.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22It is, so I've managed to find it out.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23It's not been easy but we've done it.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Now, David Cameron, who runs the Conservative Party, OK, he...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Well, he doesn't actually have a car,
0:13:28 > 0:13:31but the family car is a Honda CRV, OK?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Nick Clegg has a Ford Galaxy.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- Oh, dear.- Eurgh. - Shocking car.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Ed Miliband has a Lamborghini Aventador.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Does he?
0:13:41 > 0:13:43LAUGHTER
0:13:43 > 0:13:47- I was lying. He's got a turquoise green Ford Focus.- Oh.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Nigel Farage, guess what he drives?
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- A Jag.- Yeah, it will be.
0:13:51 > 0:13:52- A Jag!- Jag!- Anybody else?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Anybody want to hazard a guess, what Nigel Farage drives.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- AUDIENCE SHOUT SUGGESTIONS - A what?
0:13:57 > 0:13:58- Bentley!- A Bentley, could be.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- M3.- M3?
0:14:01 > 0:14:03You are aware of Ukip, are you, and their...?
0:14:03 > 0:14:05LAUGHTER
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Nigel Farage drives a Volvo V70.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10- Does he?- Really?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12He drives an immigrant.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14LAUGHTER
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- Nicola Sturgeon.- Who?
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Nicola Sturgeon.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22- SNP, Scottish. - Oh, THAT Nicola Sturgeon!
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Yes, Hammond, that Nicola Sturgeon. - What about her?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- May, have a guess. - Oh, I know, uh, a McLaren.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30LAUGHTER
0:14:32 > 0:14:34APPLAUSE
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Nicola Sturgeon doesn't drive.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41- What, in Scotland? - I know, I don't understand.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44How do you get around in Scotland, if you haven't got a car?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46No idea, anyway, she doesn't.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Leanne Wood, that's your lot, Welsh, Plaid Cay-mru!
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Er, an ox.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53LAUGHTER
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Volkswagen Passat.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Oh, god, I hate the Passat!
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Natalie Bennett from the Green Party?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Oh, a Lamborghini LM002.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04We've got a picture of one of those, I think, somewhere.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05- Yes, there it is. - That's the one.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07You think that the Green Party boss drives that?
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- Yeah, does she? - You're absolutely right.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11- Am I?- Yeah, she doesn't.- Oh.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13No, she doesn't have one of those, weirdly.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17She doesn't own a car but she is a member of a car club.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Is it the Dodge Charger Owners' Club?
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Weirdly, James, it isn't. - Do they do track days?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26The thing is, right, all these leaders,
0:15:26 > 0:15:30every single one of them has a rubbish car, every single one.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32- Yeah.- And I know why.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35It's cos they all want to be seen as a man, or a woman, of the people.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- Yes, I suspect it is.- Yeah, but, yeah, but you can be seen as a man,
0:15:38 > 0:15:41or a woman, of the people, but still drive an interesting car.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Yeah, you could have a Fiesta ST. That's a nice car.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Would we vote for somebody who had a Ford Fiesta ST?
0:15:47 > 0:15:48I would, immediately.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49I would immediately.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- What?- No.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52- You wouldn't.- Why not?
0:15:52 > 0:15:56What would you vote for, someone who's interested in the NHS(?)
0:15:57 > 0:16:00No, somebody's who's interested in Formula 1.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03You'd vote for someone, irrespective of policies,
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- if they were interested in Formula 1?- Yes.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Are you watching this, Mr Cameron and Miliband and Clegg?
0:16:08 > 0:16:11This is what's going to win a massive audience.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15Who here would vote for someone who was interested in Formula 1?
0:16:15 > 0:16:20- CROWD: Yes!- There you go, 100% of the British people want you to be
0:16:20 > 0:16:22interested in Formula 1!
0:16:22 > 0:16:27Uh, now, I came down here this morning in a Volkswagen Golf GTi.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31It's what I'm using this week, absolutely fabulous car.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Yeah, very good, not as good as the Fiesta ST, but it is good.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37It is, except for one thing. It's got a really annoying thing on it.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Has anyone got a Golf at the moment with its eco tips?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- You get the...- I do.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42How annoying are they?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45You're driving along and every now and again it'll just flash up
0:16:45 > 0:16:47a little message on the dashboard, it goes,
0:16:47 > 0:16:50"Why not wind your window up? Be more aerodynamic."
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Cos I want to get some fresh air.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55"Why not change up a gear? It'll be more..."
0:16:55 > 0:16:59"Why not, why not shut up," is what you want to say to it all the time.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02It drives you... I'd go mad with it!
0:17:02 > 0:17:05If I worked at VW, in their software department thing,
0:17:05 > 0:17:08I'd put some messages in there but with a time thing,
0:17:08 > 0:17:11so that it didn't appear until after I'd retired, really.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12You'd be driving along, and it would say,
0:17:12 > 0:17:15"Wind the window up. Why not slow down a bit? Why not change up?"
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Then it would suddenly just say,
0:17:17 > 0:17:19"Why don't you go and boil your head?"
0:17:19 > 0:17:20But it would only say it once,
0:17:20 > 0:17:23so you wouldn't be sure if you'd actually seen it.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25And then another time you'd be driving,
0:17:25 > 0:17:28it might be three years later. You'd be driving along, and it would say,
0:17:28 > 0:17:29"Wind your window up, change gear."
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Then it would suddenly go, "You've wasted your life."
0:17:32 > 0:17:34But you'd only see that once, you see.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37That would really freak drivers out!
0:17:37 > 0:17:38It could suddenly just say,
0:17:38 > 0:17:41"Your wife's had an affair with the bloke next door."
0:17:41 > 0:17:43And you'd get to the dealer and say, "It said that!"
0:17:43 > 0:17:45And he'd say, "No, it didn't, it can't have said that."
0:17:45 > 0:17:46It didn't, it can't have done.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49But the thing is, though, it would take Volkswagen
0:17:49 > 0:17:50a long time to work out.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Then they would have to call you up and say,
0:17:53 > 0:17:54"Mr May, step into my office."
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Ah, but I've retired. I'm dribbling in an old folks' home
0:17:57 > 0:18:00laughing at people who bought VW Golfs.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Now, I have one more piece of...
0:18:02 > 0:18:06I think, ladies and gentlemen, you're going to enjoy this.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08The mayor of Bristol, OK,
0:18:08 > 0:18:11he announced fairly recently that he was going to allocate
0:18:11 > 0:18:14£2.3 million of public money
0:18:14 > 0:18:18which will be spent on 13,000 signs
0:18:18 > 0:18:22saying that there will a 20mph speed limit across the whole of Bristol.
0:18:22 > 0:18:23This is the mayor.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25He's just been caught speeding.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27LAUGHTER
0:18:27 > 0:18:32I think we should all take a moment to compose our faces appropriately.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Yeah.- I'm going to go for serious and disapproving.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Oh, no! How did...? Oh...
0:18:38 > 0:18:43He actually said, afterwards, he commends Avon and Somerset police
0:18:43 > 0:18:45for being so vigilant in catching him.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48I bet he didn't say that when the letter came through the post box.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Right, let's move on.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54Now, last year McLaren gave us the astonishing P1,
0:18:54 > 0:18:58and Porsche gave us the equally fantastic 918.
0:18:58 > 0:19:04But we've always known that there is another hybrid supercar coming.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Well, it's not coming any more.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09It's here, it's the one you've all been waiting for,
0:19:09 > 0:19:11and I have been driving it -
0:19:11 > 0:19:13The Ferrari, the Ferrari!
0:19:23 > 0:19:27'McLaren and Porsche may believe they've created good-looking cars
0:19:27 > 0:19:29'in the P1 and the 918.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38'But I think they need to get their pencil cases out again,
0:19:38 > 0:19:42'because THIS is what a supercar should look like.'
0:19:57 > 0:20:01And THIS is what a supercar should sound like!
0:20:01 > 0:20:03ENGINE ROARS
0:20:11 > 0:20:14No miserable V8s or puny little turbochargers -
0:20:14 > 0:20:17THAT is Ferrari's Greatest Hit!
0:20:19 > 0:20:24The sound of 12 cylinders properly arranged in a V.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Molte grazie!
0:20:33 > 0:20:35And then there's the price.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38LaFerrari has the other two licked there, as well.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44The Porsche 918, £646,000.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48The McLaren V1, £866,000.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49The LaFerrari?
0:20:51 > 0:20:53A million pounds!
0:20:53 > 0:20:54That's a proper price!
0:20:54 > 0:20:56No muckin' about!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00'And there's more.'
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Pinky and Perky have been at great pains to explain
0:21:03 > 0:21:06just how clever the McLaren and the Porsche are.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Well, this is also very clever.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16It's built from not one,
0:21:16 > 0:21:20but four different types of carbon fibre
0:21:20 > 0:21:22to keep it as light as possible.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26In fact, it's lighter than the Porsche OR the McLaren.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29The driver's seat is fixed,
0:21:29 > 0:21:32and, instead, it's the wheel and pedals that move.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35This means you don't need a seat mechanism,
0:21:35 > 0:21:39which means the driver can sit lower, the roof can be lower,
0:21:39 > 0:21:43and that drops the centre of gravity...
0:21:43 > 0:21:46to the benefit of cornering.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Then, we come to the engine.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Like the McLaren and the Porsche, LaFerrari is a hybrid -
0:21:55 > 0:21:59it has a petrol engine AND an electric motor to drive the wheels.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03BUT...whereas the other two can be driven on electric power alone,
0:22:03 > 0:22:08like a Toyota Prius, the Ferrari can't, because, Ferrari say,
0:22:08 > 0:22:11"We are not interested in electric cars."
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Instead, the battery and electric motor combination
0:22:15 > 0:22:20works a bit like the kinetic energy recovery system in an F1 car.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24In very simple terms, it captures energy that's normally wasted -
0:22:24 > 0:22:28during braking, for example - and keeps it for when you need it.
0:22:38 > 0:22:39The electric motor, the petrol engine -
0:22:39 > 0:22:42they're all working together, all of the time.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44You cannot separate them.
0:22:46 > 0:22:51This is simply a 950 horsepower supercar.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57But, despite the racing technology,
0:22:57 > 0:23:01you don't find yourself in a world of austere track-car misery.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05You've got the sat nav,
0:23:05 > 0:23:07the air conditioning...
0:23:07 > 0:23:09It's perfectly comfortable.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13Actually, it's very civilised.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20However, this is also supposed to be the fastest
0:23:20 > 0:23:22and most exciting road car
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Ferrari has ever made.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28And to find out how exciting, we must come here...
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Ferrari's Fiorano test track.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37To Prancing Horse fans, this is the sacred tarmac
0:23:37 > 0:23:40where the company's greatest F1 cars were born.
0:23:42 > 0:23:47But when I rolled up, "sacred" wasn't the word that came to mind.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51THUNDER
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Oh, cock!
0:23:55 > 0:23:58'After two hours of dithering on the start line...'
0:24:00 > 0:24:01Pedals a little bit further away.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03WHIRRING
0:24:03 > 0:24:05No, that's too far away. Hang on.
0:24:05 > 0:24:06WHIRRING
0:24:06 > 0:24:09'..the track was finally dry enough for me to have a go.'
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Red, red, red, red...
0:24:26 > 0:24:28God's holy trousers!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Strewth! I'm already at the first bend.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Lots of brakes.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50That, ladies and gentlemen, is 950 horsepower for you!
0:24:51 > 0:24:52And while we're at it,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55950 horsepower is a slam-dunk Top Trump over the other two.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01And so is the top speed - 218mph.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07'But it's not just the amount of horsepower that's impressive,
0:25:07 > 0:25:09'it's the way it's served up.'
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Even if you're a bit clumsy or a bit timid,
0:25:13 > 0:25:15as I am being on this one,
0:25:15 > 0:25:17you've still got that enormous grunt.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19It just hits you like a runaway train.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23That's the KERS system working.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25That's exactly what it's for.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29'On top of that, Ferrari has remembered
0:25:29 > 0:25:31'that not everyone who'll drive this car
0:25:31 > 0:25:33'will be called Sebastian or Vettel.'
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Because LaFerrari will go quite a lot faster than you can think,
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Ferrari do quite a lot of thinking for you.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47It has for example a very, very sophisticated
0:25:47 > 0:25:50traction control system based on Formula 1 tech,
0:25:50 > 0:25:52and you can leave it turned on.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Why not?
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Stops you crashing.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00LaFerrari also bristles with active aerodynamics.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02That's not new on a supercar,
0:26:02 > 0:26:07but this system is controlled by 21 computers...
0:26:07 > 0:26:10which means, according to the Ferrari eggheads,
0:26:10 > 0:26:14even I should be able to take Fiorano's notorious Turn 7...
0:26:15 > 0:26:16..flat out.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Active aerodynamics - here we go.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Don't bottle it, don't bottle it!
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Oh-ho-ho-hoo...!
0:26:29 > 0:26:31It works! Look at that!
0:26:34 > 0:26:36The faster you go, the better it works!
0:26:38 > 0:26:41I mean, like Jennifer's McLaren,
0:26:41 > 0:26:43it is pure rear-wheel drive,
0:26:43 > 0:26:46and that's quite intimidating, but it's not a widowmaker.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Ah-ha-ha-ha...!
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Oh, my God!
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Oh, yes!
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Wahey! (Sorry!)
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Right, let's just slow this down a bit.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Richard Hammond, he says the Porsche 918 -
0:27:11 > 0:27:14that's the one that takes the hybrid supercar the furthest.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16It's the most responsible, if you like.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Jeremy likes the P1 because he says
0:27:18 > 0:27:22it takes an idea that was essentially an environmental one
0:27:22 > 0:27:24and uses it to make the supercar more dramatic.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30'In this respect, the Ferrari is more like the McLaren.'
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Except for two things...
0:27:35 > 0:27:38LaFerrari looks better...
0:27:38 > 0:27:40and I reckon it IS better.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45This is the greatest car in the world!
0:28:02 > 0:28:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:05 > 0:28:06Well, now there we are.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Here we are.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13Now you may remember last year,
0:28:13 > 0:28:16after Hammond had driven the Porsche I said to him,
0:28:16 > 0:28:20that if it turned out to be faster around our track than the McLaren
0:28:20 > 0:28:23I would change my name by deed poll to Jennifer -
0:28:23 > 0:28:24you remember that?
0:28:24 > 0:28:26- Oh, yeah. You said that. - ALL: Yes!
0:28:26 > 0:28:29And now we have James May telling us,
0:28:29 > 0:28:30rather bumptiously, I think,
0:28:30 > 0:28:33because he hasn't driven the McLaren or the Porsche,
0:28:33 > 0:28:35that the Ferrari is best.
0:28:35 > 0:28:40So, who here would like to see which of these cars
0:28:40 > 0:28:42is the fastest round our track?
0:28:42 > 0:28:44- EVERYONE:- Yes!
0:28:44 > 0:28:46So would we.
0:28:46 > 0:28:47So would Porsche.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49But we have a problem.
0:28:49 > 0:28:53McLaren has said that we can't do the test at our track.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55What?
0:28:55 > 0:28:58Well, hang on - our track is also McLaren's track.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00- That's where they developed this car.- Yes, I know,
0:29:00 > 0:29:03and because I know that, I also know that they know
0:29:03 > 0:29:06that the twiddly bits at the Hammerhead, and so on,
0:29:06 > 0:29:09will favour the four-wheel drive system of the Porsche.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12All right, we'll do it at a different track.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14Well, that brings us on to the second problem.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Ferrari has spent the last six months saying,
0:29:16 > 0:29:18"No, we don't want to do it, at all.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21"Cos we're not interested in speed, or 0-60, or lap times..."
0:29:21 > 0:29:22Really(?)
0:29:22 > 0:29:25That's what they've been saying, but... I kid you not, they have.
0:29:25 > 0:29:29But in the last couple of weeks or so, they've started to soften
0:29:29 > 0:29:31and say, "Well, maybe we can lend you a car."
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Well, there you go then. Game on.
0:29:33 > 0:29:34No, see, there's another problem.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37McLaren is saying they will only do this
0:29:37 > 0:29:39if all of the cars are customer cars,
0:29:39 > 0:29:41they're production cars that have been sold - yes?
0:29:41 > 0:29:45They don't want them turning up with sticky tyres and 17 turbos on them.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48Ferrari is saying they'll only do it
0:29:48 > 0:29:51if the cars DO come direct from the factory.
0:29:51 > 0:29:52Well, all right, then.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55We'll find someone who has a Ferrari a Ferrari, and borrow it.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57I know someone who has one.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00So do I, James. They've covered us on that one, I'm afraid.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02Ferrari has actually said, to us,
0:30:02 > 0:30:04that if any Ferrari owner
0:30:04 > 0:30:06lends us a Ferrari a Ferrari,
0:30:06 > 0:30:09they will make sure that person can never ever buy
0:30:09 > 0:30:11a limited edition Ferrari ever again.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14- AUDIENCE MURMURING - I kid you not!
0:30:14 > 0:30:15- Ridiculous...!- I kid you not.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17I've never heard anything like this.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Pony club mothers have got NOTHING on the people who make these cars!
0:30:20 > 0:30:22- AUDIENCE LAUGHS - Nothing!
0:30:22 > 0:30:25It doesn't make any sense! If I built any of these cars - any of them -
0:30:25 > 0:30:26the first thing I'd want to do
0:30:26 > 0:30:29is see how fast they were compared to the others.
0:30:29 > 0:30:30That's what they're for!
0:30:30 > 0:30:34Honestly, if I were a teacher and I had McLaren and Ferrari in my class,
0:30:34 > 0:30:36I would box their ears!
0:30:36 > 0:30:39I'd say, "Go and see the headmaster and come back when you've grown up."
0:30:39 > 0:30:41- Look.- What?
0:30:41 > 0:30:43They are here, the track's there... Let's just do it!
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Yes, James. They're here and they're locked
0:30:45 > 0:30:48and those two security guards have been provided,
0:30:48 > 0:30:51to make sure we don't just take them out on the track after the show.
0:30:51 > 0:30:52- You're kidding?- I am not kidding.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55So, this is it? It ends here, it's not gonna happen?
0:30:55 > 0:30:56No, no, no, no. We're not giving up.
0:30:56 > 0:30:59We've actually heard this week of a man in the Middle East
0:30:59 > 0:31:00who owns one of each of these cars,
0:31:00 > 0:31:03and he may be willing to lend them to us.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05Well, there you go. Give him a call.
0:31:05 > 0:31:06He's called Bin Laden.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08LAUGHTER
0:31:08 > 0:31:09I'm not kidding, he is.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11What, as in...Bin Laden?
0:31:11 > 0:31:14No, he's dead. It was definitely on the news. I saw that.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16He's a cousin of that one.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18Well, you can't judge a man by his cousin.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21You're absolutely right, Hammond. You can't.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23- But things go wrong on Top Gear, yes? All the time.- Yeah.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25Do you want to make the call -
0:31:25 > 0:31:29"Hello, Mr Bin Laden. I've just crashed your Porsche into your Ferrari"?
0:31:29 > 0:31:31I don't want to make that call, you're right. No.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34So here we are, we haven't done it, but we're not going to give up.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36OK, in fact, what we're hoping -
0:31:36 > 0:31:38and I hope you all hope the same thing -
0:31:38 > 0:31:39is that, on Monday morning,
0:31:39 > 0:31:43we get a call from Ferrari and from McLaren saying -
0:31:43 > 0:31:45"You know what, let's do this thing." Do you want to hear that?
0:31:45 > 0:31:48- AUDIENCE: Yes! - "Let's just do this thing."- Come on!
0:31:48 > 0:31:50APPLAUSE
0:31:54 > 0:31:56Anyway, it is now time...
0:31:56 > 0:31:58It's now time to move on
0:31:58 > 0:32:01and put a Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04In fact, all week, we've had people ringing me up
0:32:04 > 0:32:08saying, "How on earth are you going to top Will Smith, from last week -
0:32:08 > 0:32:10"star of I Am Legend and Hancock and so on?"
0:32:10 > 0:32:13Well, that is easy, because tonight, we have, as my guest,
0:32:13 > 0:32:18the runner-up in the 2009 X Factor competition.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20Ladies and gentlemen, Olly Murs!
0:32:23 > 0:32:24- What's happening? - Good evening.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26- Jeremy.- How are you? - Good to see you, how are you?
0:32:26 > 0:32:29- Very well. How's things? - Hello! Good, thanks.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32- He's here!- Ah.- Have a seat.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34It's a pleasure. Wow.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Now, I know that was a slightly mean introduction,
0:32:37 > 0:32:41but actually, being a runner-up in X Factor
0:32:41 > 0:32:42is better than winning it.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44Oh, I...yeah, I suppose it is.
0:32:44 > 0:32:48But, um, obviously I wanted to win the show, I'm Mr Competitive - so.
0:32:48 > 0:32:49I know, but if you win X Factor,
0:32:49 > 0:32:51what, you end up back in Homebase in a week.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54- OLLY LAUGHS - Or on a cruise liner.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57Yeah, but I think it's lucky, no matter where you finish on the show -
0:32:57 > 0:32:58you don't know where you'll finish.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01I thought after about a year or two I'd probably be,
0:33:01 > 0:33:03you know, in a call centre again, so...
0:33:03 > 0:33:05Cos it is - I'm just thinking, One Direction came second.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08- Yeah...no...- JLS came second.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11Oh, no, One Direction finished third, JLS finished second.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13I'd be standing there, at the end, judging on the facts and figures,
0:33:13 > 0:33:17going, "Please don't let me win, please don't let me win."
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Cos then I'll be successful, like you, cos...
0:33:19 > 0:33:20Oh, cheers, thank you.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22How successful - how many albums have you sold now?
0:33:22 > 0:33:24- Um...- 10 million?
0:33:24 > 0:33:26No, it's 10 million in total, but, um...
0:33:26 > 0:33:28- That's a lot. - For singles and everything.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30I think the albums, about three million, I think?
0:33:30 > 0:33:32- That's a lot of albums these days. - Well, I'm delighted, yeah.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35I mean, it's not really an album market so, um...
0:33:35 > 0:33:38No, I'm delighted that everyone's been buying my album, so thank you.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41And what did you do then before singing to Simon Cowell?
0:33:41 > 0:33:44I was just working in a call centre. I was giving people advice
0:33:44 > 0:33:46on how to save money on their energy bills.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48So you were living in Bombay?
0:33:48 > 0:33:51LAUGHTER
0:33:51 > 0:33:53No - no, no this was just in Witham in Essex.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55- You are an Essex boy? - Essex boy, yeah.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58- Yeah.- Through and through, yeah. - And not just an Essex boy,
0:33:58 > 0:34:01but we are talking about a major petrolhead, are we not?
0:34:01 > 0:34:02100%, yeah - love my cars.
0:34:02 > 0:34:06I'd say that before I was famous and got into this, you know,
0:34:06 > 0:34:08I didn't have the most glamorous car.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10What was your first car?
0:34:10 > 0:34:13My first car was a Fiat Ciquento.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15LAUGHTER
0:34:15 > 0:34:16- I think it's Cinquecento. - Cinquecento.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19Which of course was made famous by The Inbetweeners.
0:34:19 > 0:34:20Exactly - there it is.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22I've still got that, that's still at my house.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25- Is that actually yours? - It's still mine, yeah.- Oh, wow.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27Do you know what, though? I spent more money...
0:34:27 > 0:34:31That car cost me 895 quid and I spent, I think,
0:34:31 > 0:34:35950 quid on the sound system for it.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38So I could bowl round Essex -
0:34:38 > 0:34:41"Hey, what's happening? All right, boys?"
0:34:41 > 0:34:44I'm presuming as well if you'd won X Factor and you got that,
0:34:44 > 0:34:46there would've been a few trouser-related incidents in that.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48Oh, God, yeah. Well, the one...
0:34:48 > 0:34:50Oh, God.
0:34:51 > 0:34:53My fans will tell you I'm always ripping my trousers.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55I...I was at work one day -
0:34:55 > 0:34:57I was actually working in recruitment then.
0:34:57 > 0:34:59And, um...I was just lifting some boxes,
0:34:59 > 0:35:01about 10 o'clock in the day, I moved down to lift the boxes
0:35:01 > 0:35:03and I ripped all the backend of me trousers out.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05And I want to go home. So I got in my car
0:35:05 > 0:35:07and I've drummed out of the car park,
0:35:07 > 0:35:10I've just turned round the corner, got up towards the traffic lights.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12And I've just gone to put my seat belt on.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15All of a sudden, the police car's just come round the corner, seen me do that
0:35:15 > 0:35:17and pulled...and gone in behind me.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19- And I'm like, "Oh,- BLEEP."
0:35:19 > 0:35:23So then I drove to Tesco's car park, pulled over, then got out.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26And obviously I'm stood there, in the middle of Tesco car park
0:35:26 > 0:35:28at lunchtime, with all me bits hanging out.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31Oh, it was so embarrassing! They gave me...
0:35:31 > 0:35:33I think they gave me a £60 fine or something.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Oh, you got a £60 fine for having your...?
0:35:35 > 0:35:39- LAUGHING:- No, no - they probably could have got me done for that!
0:35:39 > 0:35:41- Oh, the seat belt. - For the seat belt.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Well, who here would like to see Olly's lap?
0:35:43 > 0:35:45CROWD: Yeah!
0:35:45 > 0:35:47Play the tape.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49CHEERING, MUSIC PLAYS
0:35:52 > 0:35:54Oh, I was...
0:35:54 > 0:35:56OLLY LAUGHS
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Oh...
0:35:58 > 0:36:00- APPLAUSE - Sorry, mate.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04That was a gig, a lap on a lap.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06I didn't have time to prepare myself then -
0:36:06 > 0:36:09I actually thought that was the lap, so I was like, "Phew!"
0:36:09 > 0:36:13No, that...well, it was your lap, but not the lap we're talking about.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17- Presumably, now that the Fiat is parked up somewhere...- Yeah.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20..you've gone on, as a car enthusiast,
0:36:20 > 0:36:23to buy something a little bit more, I don't know, starry.
0:36:23 > 0:36:25No - well, yeah, no, I went for a few BMWs
0:36:25 > 0:36:27and then I decided, I was like,
0:36:27 > 0:36:28"You know what? I'm going to go big."
0:36:28 > 0:36:32So I went and got myself a Bentley Continental GT.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35Oh - now, that's an interesting car, actually. Which one have you got?
0:36:35 > 0:36:38It's just a Continental GT V8.
0:36:38 > 0:36:39That's correct.
0:36:39 > 0:36:43- Yes. OK.- Because there's so many mines you can tread on on your way.
0:36:43 > 0:36:44- It's not a convertible, is it? - No.- No.
0:36:44 > 0:36:47You see, I think the convertible makes you look stupid.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49Yeah, cos whenever you see a convertible Bentley,
0:36:49 > 0:36:52people've always got, like, the bright blue,
0:36:52 > 0:36:54or it's in bright red or it's white or...
0:36:54 > 0:36:56- And they've got an orange face. - Yeah.- And you're in Cheshire.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58- Or Essex.- Or Essex.
0:36:58 > 0:36:59LAUGHTER
0:36:59 > 0:37:03Anyway - now you came down here, cos interestingly, we have had
0:37:03 > 0:37:05a slight problem with The Stig today.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07I mean, this is not a word of a lie.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09We had Will Smith here last week, as you probably know.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11The Stig had never heard of him.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14- Shut up!- Kiefer Sutherland, a couple of weeks ago -
0:37:14 > 0:37:15never heard of him.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18There was Ed Sheeran, week one - no idea.
0:37:18 > 0:37:19- He doesn't know who anyone is. - Wowsers.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22He came here this morning - Olly Murs,
0:37:22 > 0:37:24he's completely in love with you.
0:37:24 > 0:37:25Nah!
0:37:25 > 0:37:27LAUGHTER
0:37:27 > 0:37:30The Stig, you are his - apart from The Carpenters, obviously -
0:37:30 > 0:37:32his absolute favourite artist.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34You know what, can I just say this?
0:37:34 > 0:37:36I don't know if people want to know this information,
0:37:36 > 0:37:38but I'm delighted with it - I went...
0:37:38 > 0:37:40I walked into the toilet to have...you know.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42He was in there.
0:37:42 > 0:37:45- Have you seen his penis? - Well, no, well...
0:37:48 > 0:37:51He was wearing his helmet still, so it wasn't...
0:37:53 > 0:37:55He wasn't...he wasn't...
0:37:55 > 0:37:58I thought he was going to be holding his helmet, but I suppose...
0:37:58 > 0:38:00LAUGHTER
0:38:03 > 0:38:05This is all big news!
0:38:05 > 0:38:06But wait, wait...
0:38:06 > 0:38:09Well, my best ever celebrity story was, um...
0:38:09 > 0:38:10You can't top that!
0:38:10 > 0:38:14It was another toilet incident with Gary Barlow which...which was...
0:38:15 > 0:38:18- IMITATES GARY BARLOW: - Absolutely fantastic, yeah.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22But now I've gone to the...I've been in the toilet with the Stig,
0:38:22 > 0:38:23it's pretty amazing.
0:38:23 > 0:38:24- Anyway...- Yes.
0:38:24 > 0:38:29It was...presumably, you went out in the Vauxhall Astra Tech Line.
0:38:29 > 0:38:30- Yes.- Many laps, many practices?
0:38:30 > 0:38:33Loved it, did a few, quite a few practices, really.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35I was giving it some, like, "Come on!" I could feel it.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38You know when you get to the end, you're like, "Come on!"
0:38:38 > 0:38:41Would you like to see the real, actual lap in a car?
0:38:41 > 0:38:43- CROWD: Yeah! - Here we go, let's have a look.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46ENGINE REVS, TYRES SCREECH
0:38:46 > 0:38:48We're away.
0:38:48 > 0:38:49Come on, baby.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51Purr with me!
0:38:51 > 0:38:54You're looking like Val Kilmer in there.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57Oh, yeah, that's aggressive turning.
0:38:59 > 0:39:03Same line that Ricciardo was using the other day, very good.
0:39:03 > 0:39:08# Don't cry for me, Argentina... #
0:39:09 > 0:39:11Don't sing that here.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15There we are, nicely done through...
0:39:15 > 0:39:19Sorry for my language, Mum, I apologise, didn't mean to swear.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21You haven't sworn.
0:39:21 > 0:39:22- Right, you've gotta- BLEEP- do this!
0:39:22 > 0:39:26No, you have sworn now. That was swearing there.
0:39:27 > 0:39:32OK, that's about as perfect as it comes, that is.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34As is that.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36No real understeer, that's good to see.
0:39:36 > 0:39:3770...
0:39:39 > 0:39:4080...
0:39:42 > 0:39:45Yep, flat through there.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47- Yeah, I felt...I felt good going through there.- Yeah.
0:39:47 > 0:39:51I got into fourth gear just as I got to the tyres.
0:39:51 > 0:39:52- That's what you... - This was the bend.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54This is the - oh, look at it squirming there,
0:39:54 > 0:39:56that is nicely held.
0:39:56 > 0:39:59It's a good chassis, that, but you're getting the best out of it.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01and that is bob-on as well.
0:40:01 > 0:40:02There we are, across the line!
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Ah!
0:40:05 > 0:40:07So there we go.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14Where do you think you've come, on the board?
0:40:14 > 0:40:18My aim was 1.46 - I just wanted to...
0:40:18 > 0:40:20You wanted to beat Hugh Jackman.
0:40:20 > 0:40:24- 1.46 is an ambitious... - I know.- Very ambitious.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26Oh, God, put me out of my misery.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29As long as I've beaten Jack, that's all I care about, come on.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31- Everybody could beat Jack. - I can't look - tell me when.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34Stevie Wonder next week - he's going to beat Jack.
0:40:34 > 0:40:35LAUGHTER
0:40:37 > 0:40:38You did a one...
0:40:40 > 0:40:41..40...
0:40:43 > 0:40:45You want me to say "six", don't you?
0:40:46 > 0:40:47I'm going to say four.
0:40:47 > 0:40:49AUDIENCE GASPS
0:40:49 > 0:40:50No!
0:40:52 > 0:40:56So actually, you're up there with only Aaron Paul,
0:40:56 > 0:40:59- as in Breaking Bad, on 1.44.7. - Shut up.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01- LAUGHTER - He's on a seven.
0:41:01 > 0:41:05So if it's lower than seven, you're the fastest ever.
0:41:08 > 0:41:09It's six.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11YES! Come on!
0:41:11 > 0:41:13You did it!
0:41:13 > 0:41:16Get in! Oh, my God!
0:41:16 > 0:41:19- That's the fastest we've ever had. - Whoo!
0:41:19 > 0:41:22The fastest man in all of the world!
0:41:22 > 0:41:24Olly Murs!
0:41:24 > 0:41:27I didn't...I didn't finish runner-up!
0:41:27 > 0:41:29- That is the fastest we've ever had. - Oh, my God.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31Ladies and gentlemen,
0:41:31 > 0:41:36Olly Murs - the fastest man ever round our track!
0:41:36 > 0:41:38Oh, thanks, Jeremy.
0:41:42 > 0:41:46Now, there are many truly great car companies,
0:41:46 > 0:41:48all with rich, magnificent histories -
0:41:48 > 0:41:52there's Ferrari, Jaguar, Lancia, Maserati
0:41:52 > 0:41:54and so on and so on.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57Yes, indeed, but tonight, James and I
0:41:57 > 0:42:00are going to look at the history of the most brilliant,
0:42:00 > 0:42:04most inventive car company of them all -
0:42:04 > 0:42:05Peugeot.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16For thousands of years, there was only one way
0:42:16 > 0:42:19of crossing this spartan landscape
0:42:19 > 0:42:22in the vast, dusty heat of North Africa.
0:42:25 > 0:42:26This was it.
0:42:28 > 0:42:31It was used by the Greeks, the Romans, the Berbers,
0:42:31 > 0:42:34the Phoenicians, the Vandals, the Arabs, the Carthaginians,
0:42:34 > 0:42:38the Ottomans, the French, the Tuareg, the Italians
0:42:38 > 0:42:39and the British.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44But then, in 1968,
0:42:44 > 0:42:47the camel's 4,000-year monopoly was ended...
0:42:47 > 0:42:49CAMEL GRUNTS
0:42:49 > 0:42:52..by the Peugeot 504.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02Many people imagine it was Land Rover or Jeep
0:43:02 > 0:43:04that brought internal combustion
0:43:04 > 0:43:08to the world's most impregnable backwaters,
0:43:08 > 0:43:10but really, it was this.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14The King of Africa, as they called it.
0:43:16 > 0:43:20Yes, it had good ground clearance and parts were cheap,
0:43:20 > 0:43:24but what really endeared this mighty Peugeot to Africa
0:43:24 > 0:43:26was its rugged dependability.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30You regularly hear tales around these parts
0:43:30 > 0:43:34of 504s that have done a million kilometres
0:43:34 > 0:43:38and which have been to places that no Land Rover could reach
0:43:38 > 0:43:40without falling to pieces.
0:43:42 > 0:43:4640 years ago, then, Peugeot was a byword for sturdy toughness
0:43:46 > 0:43:48and common sense.
0:43:49 > 0:43:53But then, in 1983, Peugeot decided
0:43:53 > 0:43:58it didn't want to make strong, sturdy, beige cars any more.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01It wanted to throw off its sensi-panties
0:44:01 > 0:44:04and be sporty and frivolous and fun.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07So it completely changed direction.
0:44:10 > 0:44:13It employed a brilliant "chef de suspension"
0:44:13 > 0:44:15and came up with cars like this -
0:44:15 > 0:44:21the 505 GTi, a sports saloon to rival any BMW.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27And then there was the 405 Mi16,
0:44:27 > 0:44:29which sounded like it was a machine gun,
0:44:29 > 0:44:31and it went like one.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36But best of all, Peugeot gave us this...
0:44:37 > 0:44:40The phenomenal 205 GTi,
0:44:40 > 0:44:42a car that was fast...
0:44:44 > 0:44:46..even with James May at the wheel.
0:44:47 > 0:44:49Was this the best hot hatchback of the '80s?
0:44:49 > 0:44:51Well, it was definitely a contender, wasn't it?
0:44:54 > 0:44:55JAMES LAUGHS
0:44:55 > 0:44:56It's still good.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01It's hard to believe that this was made by the same people
0:45:01 > 0:45:02who did the 504 -
0:45:02 > 0:45:04made by the same species, even.
0:45:07 > 0:45:09But this wasn't the first time
0:45:09 > 0:45:11that Peugeot had completely changed its mind
0:45:11 > 0:45:13about what it wanted to be.
0:45:15 > 0:45:18The company began in 1810 making steel
0:45:18 > 0:45:21and it was very, very good at it.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23So good that, in 1840,
0:45:23 > 0:45:26it decided to start making wooden pepper grinders.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29Now, these...they were the best pepper grinders in the world.
0:45:29 > 0:45:33So, naturally, in 1852, Peugeot started to make...
0:45:33 > 0:45:35..corsets.
0:45:35 > 0:45:37And then, 30 years later,
0:45:37 > 0:45:40it thought, "No - what we actually want to make
0:45:40 > 0:45:42"are bicycles."
0:45:42 > 0:45:45And this is what they came up with.
0:45:45 > 0:45:46- And it is brilliant. - BELL TINKLES
0:45:46 > 0:45:49It is a superb bicycle.
0:45:49 > 0:45:51But naturally, having made a superb bicycle,
0:45:51 > 0:45:54the next logical step was to become a manufacturer
0:45:54 > 0:45:56of munitions.
0:45:56 > 0:46:00The shells they made were excellent. World-class.
0:46:00 > 0:46:04But then the Second World War broke out, the Germans arrived,
0:46:04 > 0:46:08and Mr Peugeot decided he didn't want to make munitions any more.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10In fact, he didn't want to make anything.
0:46:10 > 0:46:13So one night, he laced his factory with explosives
0:46:13 > 0:46:18and blew the entire place to smithereens.
0:46:18 > 0:46:21After such a varied history, it's hardly surprising
0:46:21 > 0:46:23that Peugeot should make this sudden swerve
0:46:23 > 0:46:27from building dependable workhorses to exciting, sporty cars
0:46:27 > 0:46:29like the 205 GTi.
0:46:29 > 0:46:32And nor is it surprising, given the quality of their steel
0:46:32 > 0:46:34and their grinders and their corsets
0:46:34 > 0:46:36and their bicycles and their munitions,
0:46:36 > 0:46:39that they were unbelievably good at it.
0:46:43 > 0:46:48A turbo-charged four-wheel drive version of the 205 called the T16
0:46:48 > 0:46:51won 16 rounds of the Rally Championship...
0:46:54 > 0:46:59..beating the might of Ford, Audi and Lancia
0:46:59 > 0:47:02with two back-to-back world titles.
0:47:04 > 0:47:05And back in the showroom,
0:47:05 > 0:47:08the sporty cars kept on coming.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10Peugeot was on a roll.
0:47:12 > 0:47:17But then one day, in Paris, there was a meeting.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19FRENCH ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS
0:47:22 > 0:47:24- Messieurs...- Mm?
0:47:25 > 0:47:28The time has come for us to stop making this sporty car.
0:47:28 > 0:47:31- Mon Dieu!- Sacre bleu!
0:47:33 > 0:47:36But what shall nous do instead?
0:47:36 > 0:47:39Er...coat hangers? Umbrellas?
0:47:39 > 0:47:42How is zees for a plan?
0:47:43 > 0:47:45We make terrible cars,
0:47:45 > 0:47:49in every way 'orrible.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51Maybe tres ugly!
0:47:51 > 0:47:52Oh, oui, oui, oui!
0:47:52 > 0:47:55And le engine tres 'orrible.
0:47:55 > 0:47:59Oh, nasty, unreliable, uncomfortable.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02Et l'interior fabrique en...spit et Kleenex.
0:48:02 > 0:48:05- Spit et Kleenex. Oui, oui, oui! - Oui, oui, oui!
0:48:05 > 0:48:09C'est une bonne idee, n'est-ce pas? Oui?
0:48:09 > 0:48:13Ne regardez pas un cadeau de cheval dans la bouche.
0:48:13 > 0:48:17Messieurs, salut la voiture horrible!
0:48:17 > 0:48:20ALL: Ohhhh!
0:48:20 > 0:48:22And get the chef de suspension up here
0:48:22 > 0:48:24so we can fire him immediatement.
0:48:24 > 0:48:25Oh, yes.
0:48:25 > 0:48:28This breakfast meeting will put Peugeot on the map
0:48:28 > 0:48:31for many years to come - make no mistake.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35This is what resulted -
0:48:35 > 0:48:38cars like the hateful 1007,
0:48:38 > 0:48:40the absurd 407,
0:48:40 > 0:48:41the woeful 607,
0:48:41 > 0:48:45and the shockingly bad 3008 -
0:48:45 > 0:48:51cheaply made, sloppy handling, lacklustre dung, the lot of it.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53MUSIC: Take My Breath Away by Berlin
0:48:53 > 0:48:55The adverts changed, too.
0:48:55 > 0:48:59Out went the burning cornfields and the jumping 205s,
0:48:59 > 0:49:01and in came tosh like this...
0:49:03 > 0:49:06Buy a car, four wheels and some seats
0:49:06 > 0:49:07for just £99 a month
0:49:07 > 0:49:10with £1,000 cashback plus another £2,000 cashback.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13Easy finance and a free - yes, free -
0:49:13 > 0:49:15locking petrol filler cap!
0:49:16 > 0:49:19APR 29.4%. Subject to terms and conditions.
0:49:19 > 0:49:21You must be able to sign your name to have a car.
0:49:21 > 0:49:23Your knees may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments.
0:49:26 > 0:49:28The results were immediate.
0:49:28 > 0:49:31Sales went through the roof.
0:49:31 > 0:49:35Peugeot may have been good at making sturdy cars and sporty cars,
0:49:35 > 0:49:41but it seemed they were absolutely brilliant at making terrible cars.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43Yes. And to find out just how brilliant,
0:49:43 > 0:49:46Jeremy and I are going to do an experiment.
0:49:46 > 0:49:50He has bought this mildly fire-damaged 307 CC.
0:49:50 > 0:49:52You can see where the fire was just here.
0:49:52 > 0:49:54It's out now, so that's OK.
0:49:54 > 0:49:55Good. Yes.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59And I have bought this utterly dreary 407.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01And now, we're going to test them
0:50:01 > 0:50:05as if we're not interested in cars at all.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11In these horrible cars, it didn't take us long
0:50:11 > 0:50:14to get the hang of being modern Peugeot drivers.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17ENGINE REVS LOUDLY
0:50:21 > 0:50:22Maniac!
0:50:24 > 0:50:27And...turn...
0:50:31 > 0:50:36Why oh why do those idiots on Top Gear criticise Peugeot?
0:50:36 > 0:50:39I mean, look, six-speed gear box.
0:50:39 > 0:50:41This is particularly brilliant -
0:50:41 > 0:50:44you've got your light switch here, off, and then here,
0:50:44 > 0:50:46especially off.
0:50:50 > 0:50:55So two...two-and-a-half revs, another gear...
0:50:55 > 0:50:57GEARS GRINDING
0:50:57 > 0:50:59Oh, no, you're supposed to press...
0:50:59 > 0:51:02GRINDING AND CLATTERING
0:51:02 > 0:51:03That's it.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10Soon, James had an accident.
0:51:16 > 0:51:17Damn and blast.
0:51:18 > 0:51:19Oh, dear.
0:51:21 > 0:51:22Oh, dear, dear, dear...
0:51:32 > 0:51:35- You crashed again?- Yeah.
0:51:35 > 0:51:37Didn't you crash on this corner this morning?
0:51:37 > 0:51:39Yeah. I haven't got round it once yet.
0:51:39 > 0:51:42It is tricky. I don't know why they put corners on...
0:51:42 > 0:51:44I mean, why would you?
0:51:44 > 0:51:46Well, I was going quite fast.
0:51:46 > 0:51:47I was in third.
0:51:47 > 0:51:48Oh!
0:51:49 > 0:51:52While James's car was being towed out of the ditch,
0:51:52 > 0:51:54I took the opportunity to demonstrate
0:51:54 > 0:51:57yet another incredible standard feature on my car.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01If you want to lower the passenger window,
0:52:01 > 0:52:03you can do that from a switch on the driver's door.
0:52:05 > 0:52:09But if you want to get it back up again...you can't.
0:52:09 > 0:52:13So, you have to go round to the other side, OK,
0:52:13 > 0:52:16and use the button here.
0:52:16 > 0:52:23But, if you do that, you're going to trap your arm in this gap here.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Now, Peugeot's thought of that, OK? Obviously, you can't open this door.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28There's no door lock, that's for security reasons.
0:52:28 > 0:52:34So you pop back round here - and this is incredible -
0:52:34 > 0:52:37simply pull this switch, OK?
0:52:37 > 0:52:39Windows ALL go down now.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43The roof detaches, and now...
0:52:45 > 0:52:49Now look - I can lift the window
0:52:49 > 0:52:52without getting my arm trapped.
0:52:52 > 0:52:55Can you see? Brilliant.
0:52:58 > 0:53:00With James's car out of the ditch,
0:53:00 > 0:53:04we relaxed by tuning in to Radio Peugeot.
0:53:06 > 0:53:08RADIO: Jeremy Vine, BBC Radio 2.
0:53:08 > 0:53:11"Is Britain full?" is how we started this.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13Alison in Warfield in Berkshire texts and says,
0:53:13 > 0:53:15"I can't park at Waitrose.
0:53:15 > 0:53:17"So, yes, we are too full."
0:53:17 > 0:53:19Good caller.
0:53:22 > 0:53:23THUD
0:53:23 > 0:53:26That's very nice of him. He just gave me a little push there
0:53:26 > 0:53:28to let me know he was coming past.
0:53:31 > 0:53:32Corner! Corner!
0:53:33 > 0:53:35TYRES SQUEAL
0:53:45 > 0:53:47I've done it. I'm round.
0:53:50 > 0:53:53Despite the soothing tones of Radio Peugeot...
0:53:53 > 0:53:56RADIO: Do you think you may have the worst-tasting water in Britain?
0:53:56 > 0:53:58Do call us if so - 0500 288 291...
0:53:58 > 0:54:00..we found the journey very stressful
0:54:00 > 0:54:03thanks to badly placed road signs...
0:54:06 > 0:54:07..and busy junctions.
0:54:09 > 0:54:10Maniac.
0:54:11 > 0:54:12Maniac.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15Maniac.
0:54:15 > 0:54:16Yobbo.
0:54:16 > 0:54:17Maniac.
0:54:17 > 0:54:20Mani...oh, hold on, I think there's a chance here.
0:54:22 > 0:54:23ENGINE REVS, TYRES SQUEAL
0:54:23 > 0:54:26Ohhh...damn it!
0:54:26 > 0:54:28- RADIO:- You've got Johnny Foreigner coming over here,
0:54:28 > 0:54:30they don't pay a penny...
0:54:30 > 0:54:32ENGINE REVS LOUDLY
0:54:35 > 0:54:37Bloody council not mending the bloody roads.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45- OVER RADIO:- James, there's a corner coming up, a corner.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48There's a sign saying, "corner". Do take care this time, OK?
0:54:52 > 0:54:55To be honest, I didn't notice James's latest accident
0:54:55 > 0:55:00because I'd found yet another feature in my amazing car.
0:55:00 > 0:55:04If I push this button here that increases the temperature,
0:55:04 > 0:55:08and then hold it down for a little while...
0:55:08 > 0:55:10- CRACKLING - There we go.
0:55:10 > 0:55:14Lovely, lovely. Mm-mm, smoke!
0:55:14 > 0:55:17Obviously, there's a fair bit of choking you have to go through,
0:55:17 > 0:55:20but, um...look at the result!
0:55:21 > 0:55:25- COUGHING:- People like a...a real fire in their homes.
0:55:25 > 0:55:27I've got one in my car.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS
0:55:29 > 0:55:31It's a good job this car has a chimney.
0:55:31 > 0:55:33Obviously, that's a very good design feature.
0:55:36 > 0:55:37When I met up with James again,
0:55:37 > 0:55:41it was at the Peugeot driver's worst nightmare -
0:55:41 > 0:55:44a double mini-roundabout.
0:55:46 > 0:55:48Now...
0:55:55 > 0:55:57Dear God. Right, that's clear...
0:56:04 > 0:56:07HORNS HONKING
0:56:13 > 0:56:14I don't know.
0:56:19 > 0:56:20It's...
0:56:33 > 0:56:35Maniac!
0:56:40 > 0:56:44Oh, God - no more double mini-roundabouts ever, please.
0:56:46 > 0:56:48After such a terrifying ordeal,
0:56:48 > 0:56:51we needed hot sweet tea to calm our nerves,
0:56:51 > 0:56:54so we went to a nearby garden centre.
0:56:55 > 0:56:58RADIO: Will Hull e-mails, "I suggest we bring back workhouses.
0:56:58 > 0:57:00"That would deter people exploiting the state
0:57:00 > 0:57:04- "and having as many children as they want."- A space there, nearly.
0:57:04 > 0:57:05Entrance?
0:57:15 > 0:57:16I'll have to come in forwards.
0:57:33 > 0:57:36A cup of tea. Ooh...perfect.
0:57:49 > 0:57:51- Have you seen this, James? - What?
0:57:51 > 0:57:55- Carrots stop you getting cancer. - Really?- Yeah.
0:57:55 > 0:57:57But The Mail said it was toma...tomatoes.
0:57:57 > 0:58:00Or was it tomatoes give you cancer?
0:58:00 > 0:58:04I thought Diana gave you cancer. Or was it house prices?
0:58:04 > 0:58:06No, immigrants do house pr...
0:58:06 > 0:58:08Oh, I get confused.
0:58:08 > 0:58:12'Afternoon tea over, we got back on the road.'
0:58:19 > 0:58:21Maniac!
0:58:23 > 0:58:26After a busy day, we were heading home,
0:58:26 > 0:58:28and to get there, we'd fitted our cars
0:58:28 > 0:58:32with something called "satellite navigation".
0:58:32 > 0:58:36Incredible device. It was a present from my children.
0:58:36 > 0:58:41It knows where I am on the planet and then it can get me to my house.
0:58:41 > 0:58:43All I have to do is as I'm told.
0:58:44 > 0:58:49So I go left here...yes...
0:58:50 > 0:58:54Right, according to the electric map, I go right.
0:58:56 > 0:58:57This is, um...
0:58:59 > 0:59:02..overgrown - the council should really do something
0:59:02 > 0:59:03about this road here.
0:59:05 > 0:59:07It's weird, isn't it? You hear stories all the time
0:59:07 > 0:59:11about idiots who, "Oh, I was following the satellite navigation
0:59:11 > 0:59:13"and I drove off a cliff or into a canal",
0:59:13 > 0:59:15and you think, "What a moron!"
0:59:20 > 0:59:24Must be a shortcut. Bloody clever.
0:59:28 > 0:59:32And here we are. Home sweet home!
0:59:32 > 0:59:35Ah, joy!
0:59:37 > 0:59:40So, there we are - Peugeot.
0:59:40 > 0:59:43They were brilliant at making strong cars.
0:59:43 > 0:59:45They were brilliant at making sporty cars,
0:59:45 > 0:59:47and for the last decade,
0:59:47 > 0:59:51they have been brilliant at making terrible cars.
0:59:51 > 0:59:57This really is THE perfect car for the world's imperfect drivers.
0:59:57 > 1:00:00RADIO: "The simple way to stop speeding is to hand a jail sentence
1:00:00 > 1:00:02"to anyone who's caught breaking the speed limit,
1:00:02 > 1:00:04"and that will sort the problem."
1:00:04 > 1:00:06Jenny in Ramsgate, Kent...
1:00:06 > 1:00:07CAR HONKS, ALARM BLEEPS
1:00:09 > 1:00:10But here's the worry.
1:00:10 > 1:00:14Soon, it will be time for Peugeot to change its mind again
1:00:14 > 1:00:15and think of something new.
1:00:15 > 1:00:17And who knows what that'll be.
1:00:17 > 1:00:19Knowing Peugeot, it could be...
1:00:20 > 1:00:22..a type of inert gas.
1:00:23 > 1:00:26The Peugeot nine-piece Rhythm and Blues band.
1:00:26 > 1:00:29Only time will tell.
1:00:29 > 1:00:31MUSIC: Take My Breath Away by Berlin
1:00:41 > 1:00:42Really?
1:00:42 > 1:00:44Worst thing ever on Top Gear, the choking -
1:00:44 > 1:00:48I've never, never ever had anything worse
1:00:48 > 1:00:50than being choked to death in a car on fire.
1:00:50 > 1:00:52- Hang on.- What?- Hang on a minute.
1:00:52 > 1:00:56Are you two saying that Peugeot have spent ten years
1:00:56 > 1:00:59deliberately making terrible cars?
1:00:59 > 1:01:03- Mm.- Well, yeah - you can't make cars that consistently bad by accident.
1:01:03 > 1:01:05No, think about it, Hammond, think about it.
1:01:05 > 1:01:07What is the point of making a car
1:01:07 > 1:01:09with complicated brakes and expensive suspension
1:01:09 > 1:01:11if you're just going to sell it to someone
1:01:11 > 1:01:13who only wants Jeremy Vine and easy finance?
1:01:13 > 1:01:16Exactly - you make cars as cheaply as possible
1:01:16 > 1:01:18and then sell them to people who won't notice.
1:01:18 > 1:01:21I mean, think of it this way, OK? Right now, even as we speak,
1:01:21 > 1:01:25nine million people in Britain are so uninterested in cars,
1:01:25 > 1:01:27they're watching that Midwife thing on the other side.
1:01:27 > 1:01:30And you're saying they're all Peugeot drivers?
1:01:30 > 1:01:33Yes, I am, and they're all going to be absolutely heartbroken
1:01:33 > 1:01:36when Peugeot starts making cows.
1:01:37 > 1:01:39And on that bombshell, it's time to end.
1:01:39 > 1:01:42Thank you so much for watching. See you next week. Good night!