0:00:21 > 0:00:23APPLAUSE
0:00:24 > 0:00:28Hello! Hello, and welcome to Top Gear.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30It's the last episode of the series.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31But don't worry,
0:00:31 > 0:00:34because we are really pushing the boat out for this one.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Literally. We made a boat and we pushed it out.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Into the sea. Really!
0:00:39 > 0:00:41But that's a little later in the show.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42First, a question -
0:00:42 > 0:00:47£50,000, a two-seat sports car - what do you go for?
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Tell 'em, Chris.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Well, unless you were completely mad, traditionally, you'd always
0:00:51 > 0:00:53have gone for this -
0:00:53 > 0:00:55the Porsche Cayman, the model sports car.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Pretty much un-improvable.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00But now there's a new Cayman,
0:01:00 > 0:01:03and Porsche says it's even better than before.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Here it is.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15It still looks like a Cayman,
0:01:15 > 0:01:18but one that's been drawn with sharper pencils.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22It still has the engine in the middle...
0:01:23 > 0:01:25..power at the rear...
0:01:25 > 0:01:27and it still costs about £50,000.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35It's the same story inside, where, thankfully,
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Porsche hasn't messed with all the things we liked about the old car.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44I've still got three pedals, and this lovely,
0:01:44 > 0:01:47wiggly, wand-like thing to change gear.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49But if you delve deeper...
0:01:49 > 0:01:52you'll find a million teeny-tiny upgrades.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59For starters, the Cayman's big brother - the 911 -
0:01:59 > 0:02:01has given up its steering and brakes.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08The lower rear suspension arms are from the last generation Cayman GT4.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12The anti-roll bars are larger diameter all around.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14The front springs are now variable rate.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18The rear tyres, well, they are 12mm wider.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Much of which is not interesting.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26What is interesting is more horsepower.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29The Cayman S now has 345 of them.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35This car will do 0-60mph in a sneeze over four seconds.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41And it won't stop accelerating until you hit 177mph.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44Braking!
0:02:53 > 0:02:56And that extra horsepower also means something else.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58If there was a fault with the old Cayman,
0:02:58 > 0:03:02it's that it didn't have quite enough power to explore the limits
0:03:02 > 0:03:04of that lovely, mid-engine chassis.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07This new one, however...
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Oh, yes!
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Yes, yes, yes!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32I could do that all day long.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38The trouble is, I'm not enjoying this as much as I should do.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Allow me to explain.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48That there is the old Cayman S.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Six cylinder, normally aspirated engine, and it sounds like...
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Well, judge for yourself.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56ENGINE ROARS
0:04:02 > 0:04:05That is engine sound perfection.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09If you asked Daft Punk to create intake noise, it'd sound like that.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15But for this new Cayman, Porsche ditched the lovely old
0:04:15 > 0:04:18six-cylinder engine for a new, turbocharged, four-cylinder engine.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20And it sounds like...
0:04:20 > 0:04:23SUBDUED ROAR
0:04:23 > 0:04:24..an old Beetle.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28This is a big deal.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Because, I'm sorry,
0:04:30 > 0:04:34but the way a sports car sounds is a huge part of its personality.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36It's the same as humans. Voices matter.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40I mean, take, say, Rod Stewart and put him on mute,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43and he's just a Scottish bloke with ladies' hair.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48And the reason for this vocal transplant?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50The Cayman needed a smaller turbo engine
0:04:50 > 0:04:52to pass the latest emissions exams.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54Yep.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Forget sound and soul. These days, apparently what's important
0:04:58 > 0:05:05is that this car will officially emit 184g of CO2 per kilometre.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09But let me show you how you must drive to achieve those 184 CO2s
0:05:09 > 0:05:13using this rather elegant piece of equipment behind me
0:05:13 > 0:05:15and some very clever men over there.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Here we go.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21- OVER RADIO:- 'Right, so, Chris, to get the best mpg, lowest CO2,
0:05:21 > 0:05:22'build up the speed gently.'
0:05:24 > 0:05:26'Lovely, lovely and sedate.'
0:05:27 > 0:05:29No, no, no.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32'Don't overdo it, that's probably a little too fast.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34'You can back it off slightly more, I'd say.'
0:05:36 > 0:05:39BIKE BELL RINGS
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Boring.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Boring, boring.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44CO2, boring.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48After a few more tedious minutes,
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I pulled over to find out my exam results.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52OK, boss, how was that?
0:05:52 > 0:05:56That was 184g per kilometre of CO2.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59About 35 miles per gallon.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06OK. The reality is that, in the real world,
0:06:06 > 0:06:09if you drive like a normal person with feet,
0:06:09 > 0:06:14no car comes close to matching its official emissions figures.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16And turbo engines are the worst offenders.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20In fact, in the hands of any of us lot,
0:06:20 > 0:06:24I doubt this engine's any more efficient than the one it replaced.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28It is a real shame.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30The old Cayman wasn't broken,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33but Porsche has been forced to fix it anyway.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Now we've got this different personality.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38And I have to say, I just don't like it as much as it was before.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43So the big question now is, if you're after
0:06:43 > 0:06:47a two-seat sports car for about 50 grand, what's the alternative?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51The Alpha 4C.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Look at that.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Carbon fibre tub, Italian styling.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Build quality of a Glastonbury tent.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Go away.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Ah, the Jaguar F-Type.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02But, of course, you want the supercharged V8 one,
0:07:02 > 0:07:05and that's 90 grand, so, I'm afraid, disqualified.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07The Lotus Exige.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Perfect, should you happen to live at a racing circuit.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Which, of course, you don't.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Ooh, the Audi TT RS.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18400 horsepower, five-cylinder turbo-charged engine.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21And lashings of understeer.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22And that really is your lot.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Which leaves us, well, pretty much back where we started.
0:07:31 > 0:07:36If you've got 50 grand to spend on a new sports car, you should buy...
0:07:36 > 0:07:38a new Cayman.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Even a mildly ruined Cayman is still better than the rest.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43You might want a pair of these though.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46HE MOUTHS
0:07:56 > 0:07:58APPLAUSE
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Great, nice job.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Nice job. OK, so...
0:08:04 > 0:08:09So, they made it more powerful, they made faster,
0:08:09 > 0:08:13they made it cheaper to tax, all for the same price, and you
0:08:13 > 0:08:16don't like it because it doesn't sound quite as good as the old car?
0:08:16 > 0:08:21Do think that maybe, just maybe, you're being...
0:08:21 > 0:08:23slightly oversensitive?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26- I'm really not. Sound is so important.- Mm-hm.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29This car, six-cylinder engine, it's just musical,
0:08:29 > 0:08:33it's the heart of the car. And the intake noise - fantastic.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37This new version, turbocharger, no intake noise, four cylinders -
0:08:37 > 0:08:38it sounds...
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- parpy. - LAUGHTER
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Oh.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Nice.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47You don't get a lot of parpy these days.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48OK, one more thing.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52I noticed in the film that you called this the Porsche Cayman.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53Yeah.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55But it isn't, is it?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58This is the Porsche 718 Cayman.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00I refuse to acknowledge that badge.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01What?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03You can't refuse to acknowledge it.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05It's right there on the back of the car.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09And it's pedigree - the 718 was a Porsche racer from the '50s, right?
0:09:09 > 0:09:13This is Porsche exploiting its wonderful motorsport history
0:09:13 > 0:09:16for the sake of a badge on a modern car. It's terrible!
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Are you done?
0:09:17 > 0:09:20- No, we can... - Can you try to be done?
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- Look... - Let's pretend you're done. OK.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26It's time to find out how quick the new 718 goes around our test track.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28And you know what that means. It's time for...
0:09:28 > 0:09:30The Stig.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Off the line.
0:09:33 > 0:09:34Looks like a Porsche, sounds like a,
0:09:34 > 0:09:36well, it sounds like a Subaru, doesn't it?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Down there to the first corner. Let's have a look at this,
0:09:39 > 0:09:41cos the chassis is great, the Cayman's so well-balanced.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43He carries great speed in, very little understeer,
0:09:43 > 0:09:45using all the track as usual.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49And the braking stability into Chicago, just fantastic.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50And he'll hold a tight line, will he?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52He let it run out a bit, but again
0:09:52 > 0:09:54you can tell he's got power to play with.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55345 horsepower.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58The amazing thing is, it's a smaller-capacity engine -
0:09:58 > 0:10:02the turbocharger has 37 foot-pounds of torque more than the old Cayman.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04So it's now a monster.
0:10:04 > 0:10:09Braking well again. Doesn't it look stable? It's flat, crisp.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11A tight line. Let it run out now.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Look at that - just controlled, relaxed.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Heading now down towards the follow-through.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19It's really fast. Again, competent.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22And doesn't it sound absolutely terrible?
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Can you hear it?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Braking into second to last.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Now, heading - ooh, using all the track there, aggressive -
0:10:33 > 0:10:36over Gambon, and a very impressive, terrible-sounding lap.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40APPLAUSE
0:10:43 > 0:10:45OK.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49And the Porsche 718 Cayman S went around
0:10:49 > 0:10:52in 1:21.6.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55That is seriously respectable.
0:10:55 > 0:11:00That's the exact same time as the Jaguar V8 F-Type.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03APPLAUSE
0:11:03 > 0:11:06And the Jaguar V8 F-Type costs nearly twice as much.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10- Yeah, and it sounds twice as good too...- Look, you're done.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Rory!
0:11:11 > 0:11:12I'm just going to say it -
0:11:12 > 0:11:15you know what other sports car you can have for £50,000?
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Ford Mustang, the one with the V8.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- Can't argue with the way that sounds.- No, you can't, no.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23All right, now it's time to welcome this week's guest.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25He's got a lot of platinum discs,
0:11:25 > 0:11:29he's got a lot of cars and he's got a lot of...hats.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Please welcome Jay Kay.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33APPLAUSE
0:11:43 > 0:11:44I'm so pleased!
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Thank you.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49All right, awesome.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Awesome.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53So what did you drive down in today?
0:11:53 > 0:11:54I flew in, actually.
0:11:54 > 0:11:59I flew in. I avoided the traffic, so I flew in a R66.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- Helicopter? - Yep. Get over the M25, easy.
0:12:02 > 0:12:0420 minutes. Job done.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07You're like a rock star. I love it!
0:12:07 > 0:12:08That's what they say.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10LAUGHTER
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- How many cars in your collection nowadays?- Erm, well,
0:12:13 > 0:12:15I'm sort of trying to slim it down.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16I mean, it's too many, really.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19- But it's over 50. - AUDIENCE GASPS
0:12:19 > 0:12:20But the amazing thing is,
0:12:20 > 0:12:24people know that Jay's got some top-end stuff. Enzo and other stuff.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27But what I love is that you have the same affliction as me.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31You can't help but love German tat.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Yeah, there's just some old M3s, E30s. There's an old Rover P6.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36- MAN IN AUDIENCE:- Wahey!
0:12:36 > 0:12:39It's got... I heard a wahey there. Look at that.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42See, Rover P6, 13,000 miles.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45I just love old things that, you know, when you were a kid,
0:12:45 > 0:12:49you used to see on the road, you know... How can you go wrong?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- We know you love your exotic, Italian stuff.- Yeah.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52You're a fan of those.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55And your current car that you drive the most is Italian.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58But it's not exactly exotic, is it?
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Yeah, I have a Fiat Doblo as well.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- A Doblo.- Yeah. - We've got a picture of it.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03LAUGHTER
0:13:03 > 0:13:05That is it. That's my Doblo.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Just a quick question, you could have bought a Bentley Bentayga,
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- a Range Rover...- Well... - ..and you've gone for a Doblo.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14You wouldn't catch me dead in a Bentley Bentayga.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18Yeah, but the Doblo is reliable, it always starts.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20It's light clutch, light gearbox.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23It's light steering, you can get stuff in it.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25You can get wood in it, you can get the dog in it.
0:13:25 > 0:13:26It's great and it works.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28And you know what the funny thing is?
0:13:28 > 0:13:31You go to Italy and you go up the mountains in Italy, you know,
0:13:31 > 0:13:35up the northern mountains, you'll still see Panda 4x4s.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38I could never work out what was the point of a Panda 4x4,
0:13:38 > 0:13:40and then you suddenly realise, you're up there in the winter,
0:13:40 > 0:13:43and that is the only thing that will go up those Alpine passes.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- True, true. - With goats in the back, you know?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48I want to veer off of cars for just a second.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- Because you have a new album out, Automaton.- Yeah.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- How it's it doing? - Well, I hear, down the grapevine,
0:13:53 > 0:13:57that it's at number one worldwide, actually.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Aha, that's what I hear!
0:13:59 > 0:14:00APPLAUSE
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Which isn't bad for an old mucker like me, you know?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Now, normally we wouldn't play a music video,
0:14:08 > 0:14:11but we wanted everyone to see the new single, Cloud 9.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Let's take a look.
0:14:15 > 0:14:21# Only a fool could walk away from me this time
0:14:23 > 0:14:29# I look up to heaven and the starry sea is mine
0:14:31 > 0:14:37# Only a fool could walk away from me this time
0:14:40 > 0:14:45# I'm walking on air and every cloud is cloud nine... #
0:14:50 > 0:14:52APPLAUSE
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Right, right, right - wait there.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56Oh, dear.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59There is a template here, isn't there?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01There's a template for the Jamiroquai video...
0:15:01 > 0:15:03People of my generation. So, basically, there's two,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06at least two, super-sexy cars.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09There's an attractive lady
0:15:09 > 0:15:12and then there's bit of jigging goes on. Is that...?
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Yeah, I tell you what, because we thought about this,
0:15:15 > 0:15:18and we thought, you know, everybody said, "Oh, cars, video..."
0:15:18 > 0:15:22I mean, and then we thought, well, Cosmic Girl was 1997,
0:15:22 > 0:15:25so it's 20 years ago, you know?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27But it was quite nice, because we went back to Cabo de Gata,
0:15:27 > 0:15:30where we'd filmed the original. So that was the kind of thing.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33So people who'd seen the first one, to go back there...
0:15:33 > 0:15:35You talked about Cosmic Girl,
0:15:35 > 0:15:39and that was a benchmark video, I think, for a generation.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Because it showed super-sexy cars, dynamic driving...
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Look at this.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45There is a story behind that.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47It wasn't quite as straightforward...
0:15:47 > 0:15:49No, it wasn't.
0:15:49 > 0:15:55They made three of those special edition 30th-anniversary Diablos.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57And one was a Jota, so it was a 600-brake car
0:15:57 > 0:16:00that was not really road legal, so there were only two.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02So I had mine in storage,
0:16:02 > 0:16:06and the guy went to stick it on the car transporter.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10And then I got word that he'd just totalled this car.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11- AUDIENCE GROANS - There it is.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15And we kind of had to have a purple one, because it was the purple,
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- the cosmic, you know, it's just one of those things.- Sure, yeah.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19So we got the other one.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22And I said, "Look, wait till I get there, I'm flying in,
0:16:22 > 0:16:24"just nobody drive it till I get there, please?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26"We can't afford to smash it."
0:16:26 > 0:16:30So I came off the plane, and everybody looked really downtrodden,
0:16:30 > 0:16:32was looking at the floor...
0:16:32 > 0:16:37And I went, "Why are you looking so sad?"
0:16:37 > 0:16:39And they said, "Unfortunately,
0:16:39 > 0:16:44"one of the precision drivers has knocked the camera off the cliff
0:16:44 > 0:16:48"and taken out the front windscreen. So there's no windscreen.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52"Lamborghini can't send one for another day or so."
0:16:52 > 0:16:56So, for most of the video, it had to be done with no windscreen.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58So that's why you see me squinting.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00And actually trying to sing the song as well
0:17:00 > 0:17:02while driving the mountain road. Yeah.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06- We've got a clip now of Cosmic Girl. Bring back some memories.- Yeah.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10# She's just a cosmic girl... #
0:17:10 > 0:17:15So now I understand why your hair is flopping about!
0:17:15 > 0:17:17You've quite clearly got no windscreen!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Yep, there is no windscreen there. Yeah.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23I loved that car as well. I really loved that car.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26It was a real meaty, you know, proper, old Lamborghini.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28They're quite different to what they are now.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Now that Audi have taken them over, it's a different ballgame.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32That was quite a handful, but it made a great noise.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35That's why we stuck it on the front of Travelling Without Moving.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37- OK, let's get down to business. - Yeah.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Now, you're a veteran down here. You've been around...
0:17:40 > 0:17:44I've been coming down here since William Woollard was running it.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47You've been around in the Liana, you've been around in the Lacetti...
0:17:47 > 0:17:49That was a beautiful car, the Liana.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51You were fastest in the Lacetti, I think, right?
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Yeah, that's right, yeah.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55OK, so now you're going to go around in the GT86.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56How'd the training go with Chris?
0:17:56 > 0:18:00Yeah, I mean, you know, Chris's masterclass...
0:18:00 > 0:18:01So, it was...
0:18:01 > 0:18:06The car's obviously a lot better than before.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08It pleases me to actually come on with something
0:18:08 > 0:18:11that's at least two litre, that you can get something out of.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13And quite a nippy little thing, you know.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15- All right, let's take a look. - Yeah, OK.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- Jay?- Yes.- Last show of the series. - Got it.- You've got form here.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Yes, I have got form.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23We've got a target.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Sir Chris Hoy, 1:35.4.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Sir Chris Hoy. Pedal to the metal. - Yeah.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29- Let's go.- Are we ready?- Yeah.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I like it, I like it. Power now, power, power, power.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Good work - we're not that far off Mr Hoy at the moment now.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Sorry, Sir Hoy.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Sir Chris!
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Right, third gear.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Come on, I need you to push a bit harder, Jay,
0:18:50 > 0:18:51we're bit behind Chris here.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- LUVVIE VOICE:- Okey dokey, pushing hard, darling, pushing hard.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55Push it hard. Third gear.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Oh-ho-ho!
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Right on the edge. Fourth gear.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I'm not going to look at this bit,
0:19:05 > 0:19:08because you're going so quick through here it scares me.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09- BLEEP- hell, Jay!
0:19:11 > 0:19:13From the 100, brake and turn.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14- Brake, turn, now.- Turn, turn.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Oh, we could be off here, we could be off here.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26And back on! Oh, nearly back on.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I nearly got it back on.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34LAUGHTER
0:19:35 > 0:19:36Nice day for it.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38APPLAUSE
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Hey-hey!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Whoo!
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Nice, nice.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- Nice one, nice one. - I mean, I wasn't trying.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- LAUGHTER - I wasn't trying.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51Definitely, definitely.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54We thought we'd actually come out the right way, just carry on.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Nothing happened, you didn't see that.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58A definite change of underwear, definitely.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- Around once, around twice... - Yeah, lovely, yeah.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03What do you think, Chris? Do you think he's got a shot at the title?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Yeah, committed. You only have offs like that
0:20:05 > 0:20:07if you're really, really trying round here.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09People don't know how unforgiving the circuit is.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12If you get it half a foot wrong there, you're straight off.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14So he's going to be quick.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16- We'll see how you did just a little bit later in the show.- OK, cool.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Right now, I want to talk about 4x4s.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21See, if you want an upmarket, family SUV,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23right now, you've got a lot of options.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27You could have a Range Rover, you could have an Audi Q7,
0:20:27 > 0:20:28you could have a Merc GLS.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31But they're all so...mainstream.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Thankfully, there is another option,
0:20:33 > 0:20:35and it comes...from Russia.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40This is the Avtoros Shaman,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42and it is big.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Really big.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48HE WHISTLES
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Straight away, you can see it has eight wheels,
0:20:50 > 0:20:53which is the same as two Range Rovers.
0:20:53 > 0:20:58But it costs £88,000, about the same as just one Range Rover.
0:20:58 > 0:21:02So, on a pound-per-axle basis, the Shaman is a steal.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11And back here, you get seating for...
0:21:11 > 0:21:13everyone you've ever met.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16And there's an escape hatch, in case of an emergency.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Like if Uncle Phil had the egg salad for lunch.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23HE BREATHES IN Oh!
0:21:26 > 0:21:28And there's a central driving position.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Just like the McLaren F1.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33And the similarities to the F1 don't end there.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Like the F1, the Shaman also has...
0:21:35 > 0:21:37a...
0:21:37 > 0:21:38erm...
0:21:38 > 0:21:40steering wheel!
0:21:40 > 0:21:42OK. Here we go.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Now, like all the best modern SUVs,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50the Shaman is right at home in the centre of town.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Whether it's the school run or popping out for groceries
0:21:53 > 0:21:55or nipping to the pub for a quick game of darts,
0:21:55 > 0:21:57the Shaman will do it all.
0:21:58 > 0:21:59Oh boy, this is tight.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03But like all the best modern SUVs
0:22:03 > 0:22:06it's even better suited to the open road.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16OK, it's not exactly supersonic.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18The Shaman will do 0-60 in...
0:22:20 > 0:22:22..never.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24With its sensible three-litre diesel,
0:22:24 > 0:22:28it has a whopping top speed of 44mph.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30And that's a good thing.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33It encourages you to relax.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35To...
0:22:35 > 0:22:37watch the world go by.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41And it's just as sensible on the inside.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44You've got a sat nav from the '90s.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Some temperature controls from the '80s.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48You've got a speedometer and a rev counter
0:22:48 > 0:22:51which are basically irrelevant.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53And that's pretty much it.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Elegant simplicity.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Oh, what's that guy doing?
0:22:58 > 0:22:59That doesn't look good.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Oh, looks like you're in a jam.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05HE CACKLES
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Should be able to get you out of there. Let me pull up a little.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09He smells like whisky.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14OK, not what I had in mind, but let's talk towing.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Now, according to the Caravan Club,
0:23:16 > 0:23:19the choice SUV is the BMW X5.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22But that only pulls 3.5 tonnes.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25The Shaman will tow 12.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28So if you've got a local moon that's out of alignment,
0:23:28 > 0:23:30the Shaman will set it straight.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Sweet!
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Thank you!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Right, back to business.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Next up, fuel economy.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40I know what you're thinking - that thing looks thirsty.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Well, it is.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45It gets about 11 miles to the gallon. And it makes you wonder,
0:23:45 > 0:23:48am I going to have to refuel it every single day?
0:23:48 > 0:23:53Well, no, you're not, because the Shaman holds 260 litres of diesel.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55It's a supertanker.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56So realistically,
0:23:56 > 0:23:59you're only going to have to refuel it about every other day.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Oh, wait - is that a flare?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Anyone else around to help them?
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Just me then, huh?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Ah, OK.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Right, well, this is a waste of time.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Modern SUV drivers don't even go off-road.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31But since I'm apparently the only one who can help,
0:24:31 > 0:24:34we might as well cover all-terrain ability.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Ground clearance, half a metre.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Half a metre!
0:24:40 > 0:24:42And these giant tyres may look destructive,
0:24:42 > 0:24:46but their huge surface area means they tread lightly over the terrain.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Snowshoes, not stilettos.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53And if you factor in its eight-wheel drive with independent steering,
0:24:53 > 0:24:56you can approach any off-road excursion with confidence.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59I can't wait to see the looks on their faces
0:24:59 > 0:25:01when they see this thing coming.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Hi.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15You're, erm...
0:25:17 > 0:25:18You're naked.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19We're naked ramblers.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22We're lost!
0:25:22 > 0:25:26- Well, do you need a ride?- Oh, yes.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27OK, come on. Let's...
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Let's go.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37Up you go.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Ooh.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42OK.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46All... OK.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50All righty. Wow. That's a lot for the eyes.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05Sure hope we don't crash. This would be a tricky one to explain.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07No need for hugs or anything. We're OK.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Well, there's an image that'll be stuck in my mind forever.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17OK, where were we?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Ah, yes, let's talk refinement.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Some might complain that, on the move,
0:26:23 > 0:26:27the Shaman isn't the quietest of SUVs on the market.
0:26:27 > 0:26:28ENGINE ROARS
0:26:28 > 0:26:30True.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33When you're up and running there is some engine noise
0:26:33 > 0:26:35and some road noise.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37But that's a good thing.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41Because, too often, the driving experience is interrupted by...
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Looks like Lassie.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46BARKS
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Seriously?
0:26:47 > 0:26:48Lassie now?
0:26:51 > 0:26:52What's wrong?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55What's wrong?
0:26:55 > 0:26:57DOG WHINES
0:26:57 > 0:26:59What, little Timmy's stuck down a well?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Again? WHINES
0:27:01 > 0:27:02OK.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05All right, show me the way, I'll follow you. Geez.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09OK, so, apparently,
0:27:09 > 0:27:12owning a Shaman does come with a few unwanted responsibilities.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Where the hell is this dog taking me?
0:27:16 > 0:27:19And what kind of shampoo does she use?
0:27:19 > 0:27:20She's so shiny.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Good girl, good girl.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31OK, we're going to get you outta here.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Put that rope around you.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34No, not around your neck, no.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Yeah, around your waist, good.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37OK.
0:27:38 > 0:27:43This winch is capable of lifting 5.6 metric tonnes.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46That's the equivalent of about 200 little Timmys.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Kids today.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Doesn't he have an iPad?
0:27:52 > 0:27:53DOG BARKS
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Whoa, whoa!
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Lassie, language!
0:27:56 > 0:27:58WHINES
0:27:58 > 0:28:00We're all tired.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05All in all, though,
0:28:05 > 0:28:07having to take on the odd rescue mission is
0:28:07 > 0:28:12a small price to pay for a car that is just so rewarding.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15It's an SUV for the driver who cares about driving.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21The noise, the lack of unnecessary technology.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25It all connects you with what's really important.
0:28:25 > 0:28:26The mechanical experience.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Really, I'm struggling to see a downside
0:28:30 > 0:28:32to this magnificent machine.
0:28:32 > 0:28:37So there you have it - Russia's answer to the modern SUV.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39And, honestly, I would definitely recommend it.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43Sure, a Mercedes GLS is a little quicker,
0:28:43 > 0:28:46and an Audi Q7 is slightly more refined,
0:28:46 > 0:28:48but the Shaman is practical,
0:28:48 > 0:28:50it's spacious...
0:28:50 > 0:28:52and...
0:28:52 > 0:28:53Oh, did I not mention?
0:28:56 > 0:28:57It swims.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04With all this saving people, maybe I could join the Avengers.
0:29:06 > 0:29:07I could be...
0:29:07 > 0:29:09The Shamanator.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13Yeah, I like it.
0:29:15 > 0:29:16Be there in a couple minutes.
0:29:18 > 0:29:20Maybe 15.
0:29:20 > 0:29:21Maybe 20.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27APPLAUSE
0:29:28 > 0:29:31Now you're talking! This thing's massive!
0:29:31 > 0:29:32This...
0:29:32 > 0:29:34This is my kind of family SUV.
0:29:34 > 0:29:35Exactly. Why would you want a Range Rover
0:29:35 > 0:29:37when you could have one of these?
0:29:37 > 0:29:41I'm telling you, I can see literally no downsides to this car.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45No. Also, 88 grand. I mean, that is a lot of wheels for the money.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47Yeah, and way cheaper than a helicopter.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49I'm sorry, what, a helicopter?
0:29:49 > 0:29:51Yeah, that's how the Shaman is marketed -
0:29:51 > 0:29:54as a helicopter alternative.
0:29:54 > 0:29:55Think about it, OK?
0:29:55 > 0:29:58If you needed to get somewhere in the middle of nowhere,
0:29:58 > 0:30:03hundreds of miles from the nearest road - deepest, darkest Russia -
0:30:03 > 0:30:06it's basically this or a helicopter.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09You know how many naked ramblers you can fit in a helicopter?
0:30:09 > 0:30:13- No.- Yeah, neither do I. And I do not want to find out.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Imagine the turbulence and the downdraught.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18All that naked skin flopping around. I don't... No, no.
0:30:18 > 0:30:19Chris!
0:30:19 > 0:30:22So what do you think? Trade in the helicopter, get one of those?
0:30:22 > 0:30:26I doubt it. I could do without the naked people in there.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29You know, it's funny, because the best Russian vehicle is the
0:30:29 > 0:30:31really old Kamaz with the really thin wheels?
0:30:31 > 0:30:33Almost looks like a loaf of bread?
0:30:33 > 0:30:36And everyone in Russia uses those. They go anywhere.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39And then they use the old eight-wheelers as well.
0:30:39 > 0:30:40Eight-wheel steering things.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42- It was fun to drive.- Yeah, yeah.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46OK, I'd like to show you a new family car from America. OK?
0:30:46 > 0:30:50It's made by Dodge and it's called the Demon. Let's take a look.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52Nice.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54Look at that, that's a nice-looking car, right?
0:30:54 > 0:30:57Four seats, nice big trunk, or boot.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01Would you like to know how fast that car goes from 0-60mph?
0:31:01 > 0:31:05- You tell me, Matt.- 2.3 seconds.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08That is the fastest-accelerating car ever made.
0:31:08 > 0:31:13Faster than a 918 Spyder, faster than a LaFerrari...
0:31:13 > 0:31:14Faster than...everything.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Until it gets to the first corner!
0:31:16 > 0:31:19LAUGHTER
0:31:19 > 0:31:21Exactly. OK, look, here's another picture.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24That is an official Dodge photograph.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26"I'm having trouble laying my power down."
0:31:26 > 0:31:29- Yeah, that is how you sell a car. Huh?- Look at that!
0:31:29 > 0:31:31OK, how much power does that thing have?
0:31:31 > 0:31:35OK, you're going to love this - it has 840 horsepower.
0:31:35 > 0:31:39- That's ridiculous. And that's a tuner car, surely?- No, no.
0:31:39 > 0:31:40No, no, no.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42In America, you can go into your local Dodge dealer
0:31:42 > 0:31:44and buy one of those bad boys.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46And you know the best part about the whole thing?
0:31:46 > 0:31:49If you put your foot all the way down and really stand on it,
0:31:49 > 0:31:52the front wheels will come off the ground.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54- The car does wheelies. - It's a funny car!
0:31:54 > 0:31:56How cool is that? Yeah, no, take a look. We have a clip.
0:31:56 > 0:32:00- GRUFF VOICEOVER: - 'You don't want the truth.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02'You can't handle the truth!'
0:32:02 > 0:32:04Come on!
0:32:04 > 0:32:05That's nuts!
0:32:05 > 0:32:08- Huh?- See the way the sidewall just creased on the tyre?
0:32:08 > 0:32:09That's unbelievable.
0:32:09 > 0:32:13OK, so just to recap, you've got McLaren pushing the boundaries of
0:32:13 > 0:32:18technology, using carbon fibre, aerodynamics - new language.
0:32:18 > 0:32:22And you've got Dodge saying, screw that, screw technology, we're
0:32:22 > 0:32:25just going to insert a big V8 engine and make it as sophisticated as...
0:32:25 > 0:32:27an anvil.
0:32:27 > 0:32:28That's right. What's your point?
0:32:28 > 0:32:31It's absolutely brilliant. All of it's brilliant! I love it.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34I know. We are totally driving that next series.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38OK, now, the Formula 1 season is back under way.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40But for the first time in over 30 years,
0:32:40 > 0:32:44F1 doesn't have a certain man running it - Bernie Ecclestone.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46See, at the start of this year,
0:32:46 > 0:32:49a company called Liberty Media took control of Formula 1.
0:32:49 > 0:32:53Since then, Bernie has stayed very quiet about the whole affair
0:32:53 > 0:32:55and the honorary title Liberty gave him.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58But a couple of weeks ago, Bernie got in touch,
0:32:58 > 0:33:00asking if we'd like to have a little chat.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02And you don't say no to Bernie, so we didn't.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05And he also said that he'd only talk to one guy -
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Eddie Jordan.
0:33:07 > 0:33:08You all right, Bernie?
0:33:08 > 0:33:10- Yeah, I'm fine.- Let's have fun, man.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14Now, Liberty.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17They've given you this great title, I'm kind of confused -
0:33:17 > 0:33:20what does that title mean? Is it a gagging order?
0:33:20 > 0:33:21I don't know, really.
0:33:21 > 0:33:27It's a little bit like giving a hitman a gun and no bullets.
0:33:27 > 0:33:28That's not very clever.
0:33:28 > 0:33:32Oh, but I've got enough money to buy the bullets.
0:33:32 > 0:33:34Bernie, they said, or you said about them,
0:33:34 > 0:33:36that they should have killed you, not wound you.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37What did you mean by that?
0:33:37 > 0:33:40No, I didn't actually say me at all.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42- That isn't what I said.- OK, well, tell us what you said, then.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45I said the trouble with all sort of animals,
0:33:45 > 0:33:49if you want to kill them, you have to kill them, don't wound them.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Ah, but it's the same meaning, isn't it, Bernie?
0:33:51 > 0:33:53You were giving a little message to them.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55- It depends how people...- Be careful.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57- ..want to take meanings, doesn't it?- OK.
0:33:57 > 0:33:59Formula 1 is in good hands, Bernie?
0:33:59 > 0:34:01Now? I hope so.
0:34:01 > 0:34:02Can it improve without you?
0:34:02 > 0:34:04I'm sure it will.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07The problem over the last two or three years has simply been
0:34:07 > 0:34:11no competition. And now it looks like we've got some.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14Ferrari, can they win the championship this year?
0:34:14 > 0:34:17Honestly, I shouldn't say this, but I hope they do.
0:34:17 > 0:34:18But I don't think they will.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20It's good for business?
0:34:20 > 0:34:24If we lost Ferrari, over the years, we'd had have been in trouble.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27Formula 1 is Ferrari and Ferrari is Formula 1.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32For many years, I've been intrigued about the way you were able
0:34:32 > 0:34:35to bring the championship right to the last race.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38I mean, you're fixing that, aren't you?
0:34:38 > 0:34:40Not at all.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42The teams may have, but I don't.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46Maybe the teams get together and decide to split the money secretly
0:34:46 > 0:34:49or something to make sure this happens, I don't know.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51You are joking, we know that.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54But it is remarkable, isn't it?
0:34:54 > 0:34:55I'm just lucky.
0:34:55 > 0:35:00Where would you see the possible improvements?
0:35:00 > 0:35:03Well, I think we ought to get rid of a lot of the silly regulations
0:35:03 > 0:35:05that restrict so many things
0:35:05 > 0:35:09for the drivers and the people building cars.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11It's become an engineers' championship,
0:35:11 > 0:35:12not a drivers' championship.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15It's the drivers that should be driving the cars.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18They are the ones that should win the races and get all the credit
0:35:18 > 0:35:20for doing what they've done.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Who was the best one, in your view?
0:35:23 > 0:35:25Best driver...
0:35:25 > 0:35:28Nobody ever agrees with me. I think it was Alain Prost.
0:35:28 > 0:35:33Because he always had competition in the team,
0:35:33 > 0:35:35he lost two World Championships
0:35:35 > 0:35:39by a small margin, through bad luck on his part.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42So, he should be credited as being the best.
0:35:42 > 0:35:44I want to talk about your cars.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47I've got to ask you, you don't suppose that you might have
0:35:47 > 0:35:50the getaway car from the Great Train Robbery there, by any chance?
0:35:50 > 0:35:53No, I wish I could find it. I don't know which one I used at the time.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55- Ah, OK! - HE CHUCKLES
0:35:55 > 0:35:58Bernie, because, you know, we laugh and joke about it,
0:35:58 > 0:36:01but there are still a body of people who associate you with
0:36:01 > 0:36:05- the Great Train Robbery. Why do you think that is?- No idea, no idea.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Wasn't enough money on that train, actually.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09Bernie, before we wrap up,
0:36:09 > 0:36:13I've just got a couple of little names that I'd perhaps like
0:36:13 > 0:36:19maybe for you to tell us, in your own words, what they mean.
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Ferrari.
0:36:21 > 0:36:22Special.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24McLaren.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Trying hard. Trying hard.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29Max Verstappen.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31He's really, really super.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33He's going to be a world champion, for sure.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Finally, Bernie - Lewis Hamilton.
0:36:36 > 0:36:40Best thing that happened for Formula One for a long, long time.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Good ambassador. Super...
0:36:43 > 0:36:45Certainly the best driver of this...
0:36:45 > 0:36:48- You know, the last ten years. - Of his era.
0:36:48 > 0:36:49Bernie Ecclestone.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:37:02 > 0:37:05Nobody's heard from Eddie since that interview...
0:37:05 > 0:37:06LAUGHTER
0:37:06 > 0:37:08Where is he? Don't mess with Bernie!
0:37:08 > 0:37:10OK.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12The time has come.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14The time has come, as it always does.
0:37:14 > 0:37:18- The time has come to see your lap. How do you think you did?- Um...
0:37:18 > 0:37:23Well, you know, you can never tell, can you? I mean, um...
0:37:23 > 0:37:25- I hate this bit! - LAUGHTER
0:37:25 > 0:37:29I got up this morning thinking, "Why do I put myself through it?"
0:37:29 > 0:37:32You know he takes it seriously, though. Look at his shoes -
0:37:32 > 0:37:33racing driver's shoes.
0:37:33 > 0:37:36- Yeah, yeah.- It matters. - Put him out of his misery, Matt.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39- All right, let's take a look, come on.- OK. Thank you.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42Off the line, that's a good, clean start.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47Come on, then, young lady - the Toyota GT86,
0:37:47 > 0:37:50from the Land of the Rising Sun!
0:37:50 > 0:37:53OK, the line was good coming into first...
0:37:53 > 0:37:55A little bit wide there.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58And you turned a bit wide, but you were on the power early.
0:37:58 > 0:38:01And using all the circuit. That's good, that's really good there.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Feels a bit smoother to me.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06Good, and you've stopped the car.
0:38:06 > 0:38:10Some people barrel in there too fast. I reckon your speed was right.
0:38:11 > 0:38:12Line good coming out.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14Don't miss the gear!
0:38:14 > 0:38:15You didn't miss the gear, you see?
0:38:15 > 0:38:17You blithering idiot!
0:38:17 > 0:38:20OK, down the back straight.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29Ah, now, you're a bit wide there. A little bit wide.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31Get it in. GET IT IN!
0:38:31 > 0:38:35And you're self-flagellating, which is a good sign.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38- Using all the circuit there. - Come on!
0:38:38 > 0:38:40I've never looked too good in a helmet, have I, really?
0:38:42 > 0:38:44No guts, no glory!
0:38:46 > 0:38:49It feels like the one. It feels like the one.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51This is aggressive. This is aggressive!
0:38:51 > 0:38:55The trial brake was good. That was your new line through there.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57And you failed to do a 720 there, which is good.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59And now, over the line...
0:38:59 > 0:39:01- OK, right. - APPLAUSE
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Well done.
0:39:11 > 0:39:13All right. Come on, what do you think? You feeling confident?
0:39:13 > 0:39:16Oh, I don't know. I don't know!
0:39:16 > 0:39:19You know, um, it's, um, it's tricky.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21You know, it's a tricky little... That Hammerhead is tricky.
0:39:21 > 0:39:25You just feel where you're losing bits and bobs and feel where
0:39:25 > 0:39:29you're losing time, and there's a lot of different lines to take,
0:39:29 > 0:39:33- so, um, who knows? But just... Just get on with it!- Now, we know...
0:39:33 > 0:39:37- We know you now.- Yeah. - You're fairly competitive.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39We know you're not looking down in this section here.
0:39:39 > 0:39:43You're looking up there, with the Hoy and the Noble and the Whitlock.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46- Right?- Yeah, I kind of am up there, yeah. I'm looking up there, yeah.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48That's where you want to be. OK.
0:39:48 > 0:39:50Jay Kay...
0:39:50 > 0:39:52You did it...
0:39:52 > 0:39:54JAY CHUCKLES
0:39:55 > 0:39:58This is my favourite part. I love it!
0:39:58 > 0:39:59Oh, yeah, milk it!
0:39:59 > 0:40:03- Milk it, milk it!- You did it in one minute...
0:40:04 > 0:40:06- ..30...- Yes?
0:40:07 > 0:40:096... GROANS
0:40:09 > 0:40:11..point 1.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16Seven tenths off a bloke who's done Le Mans!
0:40:16 > 0:40:18- Happy?- Yeah, yeah, good.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21- Come on, come on!- Second fastest.
0:40:22 > 0:40:24Ladies and gentlemen, Jay Kay!
0:40:26 > 0:40:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:40:34 > 0:40:39Now, I want to talk about the ugliest car ever made,
0:40:39 > 0:40:43because there is one that stands head and hideous shoulders
0:40:43 > 0:40:49- above all others. Feast your eyes on this.- This is the SsangYong Rodius,
0:40:49 > 0:40:53- and it is truly revolting! - Yeah, but, here's the thing.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55Sure, the Rodius might be horrible to look at,
0:40:55 > 0:40:58but it has a beautiful secret.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01And to reveal that secret, Rory took me and this
0:41:01 > 0:41:06Korean masterpiece on a little road trip to Southampton.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12Well, I've got to say, I'm impressed.
0:41:12 > 0:41:13- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16It's as gross on the inside as it is on the outside.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18This thing is disgusting!
0:41:18 > 0:41:23- Better be good, whatever we're doing in Southampton.- Just you wait.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27'Well, at least I didn't have to wait long.'
0:41:27 > 0:41:28Pull in here.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31It's a boat yard, Rory. Why are we going to a boat yard?
0:41:31 > 0:41:33Are we going to drive into the ocean? That's a good call.
0:41:33 > 0:41:34OK, this is perfect.
0:41:34 > 0:41:35'In fact...'
0:41:35 > 0:41:37Come here.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39'..Rory had something else in mind.'
0:41:39 > 0:41:41Look, here's what you need to know about the Rodius, OK?
0:41:41 > 0:41:45- It was designed by a guy called Ken Greenley...- Who was blind?
0:41:45 > 0:41:49Who was head of vehicle design at London's Royal College of Arts,
0:41:49 > 0:41:50and he knew what he was talking about.
0:41:50 > 0:41:55And the Rodius was inspired by the design of luxury yachts.
0:41:55 > 0:41:57No, it wasn't!
0:41:57 > 0:41:59Come here, check this out, look.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02How about now?
0:42:05 > 0:42:07No, I don't see it.
0:42:07 > 0:42:08Dude, look.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11Look at the lines, OK, look at the S-shape, the way it flows.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13That's nautical.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16The Rodius might be a hideous car,
0:42:16 > 0:42:18but it was never supposed to be a car,
0:42:18 > 0:42:20it was supposed to be a yacht.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23We are going to turn the SsangYong into a yacht.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27Hey, does this mean we get to cut it up?
0:42:27 > 0:42:29- Yeah.- Excellent, I am in!
0:42:31 > 0:42:33We're going to do this for Ken Greenley.
0:42:33 > 0:42:34Who?
0:42:34 > 0:42:36- The blind guy.- Yeah.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38Yeah...
0:42:38 > 0:42:40Psshww!
0:42:40 > 0:42:42'To see if Rory's idea would float,
0:42:42 > 0:42:46'we enlisted the help of one of Southampton's leading boatbuilders.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48'A man called Digby.'
0:42:48 > 0:42:50What are the problems, do you think,
0:42:50 > 0:42:52by trying to turn this thing into a boat?
0:42:52 > 0:42:56- What's the biggest hurdle? - Capsizing. Very worst - death.
0:42:56 > 0:42:58- Death?- Death.
0:42:58 > 0:42:59Huh.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02It's a very big car to make into a boat.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05But it already looks like a yacht.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06Well, that's...
0:43:06 > 0:43:10open for interpretation. We don't need to get into that so much.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12Can we make it happen?
0:43:12 > 0:43:15Um, if you look at basics of stability,
0:43:15 > 0:43:18you're putting tonnes of weight up there.
0:43:18 > 0:43:21If you start moving through the water at any sort of speed,
0:43:21 > 0:43:24as soon as you hit a wave, you're going to end up down here,
0:43:24 > 0:43:28and risking happy people becoming very much dead people.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30It's going to be difficult.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33- Do you think this is a bad idea? - Oh, yes, it's a terrible idea.
0:43:33 > 0:43:35- But it's doable?- Vaguely doable.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37- But doable?- There's a chance.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39OK! That's all we need to hear.
0:43:39 > 0:43:40- Then we're doing it! - Welcome on board.
0:43:40 > 0:43:44- Hey, let's hope that we live through this.- Yeah, we'll be fine.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48'So, we set to work,
0:43:48 > 0:43:51'carefully extracting weight,
0:43:51 > 0:43:54'remodelling the stern and bow,
0:43:54 > 0:43:56'and delicately finessing the hull.'
0:43:56 > 0:43:58Oh, hot, hot, hot!
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Well, what do you think?
0:44:00 > 0:44:02Probably need another day.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05- Two days.- Max.- Yeah.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11SEAGULLS CRY
0:44:13 > 0:44:14At last...
0:44:16 > 0:44:18..she was ready for testing.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21And to do that,
0:44:21 > 0:44:23there was only one place to go.
0:44:23 > 0:44:25Monaco.
0:44:25 > 0:44:27What the hell am I doing here?
0:44:27 > 0:44:29This is genius, OK?
0:44:29 > 0:44:33We have unleashed the Rodius's inner beauty.
0:44:33 > 0:44:38It was inspired by yachts, and now it has become a yacht!
0:44:38 > 0:44:40You're going to love this, I'm telling you.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42Rory, bring her round!
0:44:42 > 0:44:45MUSIC: Power by Kanye West
0:44:48 > 0:44:49Woohoo!
0:44:49 > 0:44:51Come on! We did it!
0:44:51 > 0:44:54# No one man should have all that power
0:44:54 > 0:44:57# The clock's tickin' I just count the hours... #
0:44:57 > 0:45:00This is going to blow his mind!
0:45:00 > 0:45:03- Oh, my God.- Look at that!
0:45:04 > 0:45:06That's right! That's right!
0:45:06 > 0:45:08MATT LAUGHS
0:45:08 > 0:45:12Rear Admiral Reid...at your service!
0:45:12 > 0:45:13Nice!
0:45:13 > 0:45:15There's a car in there!
0:45:15 > 0:45:17There's a car... There's...
0:45:17 > 0:45:20- It's really weird, now I can't un-see it!- Yeah!
0:45:20 > 0:45:24- Because I can sort of see a boat. - It makes perfect sense!
0:45:24 > 0:45:27- It works, right? - This is what it was born for!
0:45:27 > 0:45:29It's actually disturbing.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31Rory's dressed as Captain Birdseye...
0:45:31 > 0:45:33- Admiral!- ..and he's...
0:45:33 > 0:45:35Admiral Birdseye.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38This is a luxury yacht, and when you're the admiral of
0:45:38 > 0:45:42a luxury yacht, you have to look the part. Hence the outfit.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44He does look good. You've got to admit, he looks good.
0:45:44 > 0:45:45No, the boat looks good.
0:45:45 > 0:45:48It's a super-yacht. Enough with the boat talk!
0:45:48 > 0:45:52How did you create it? Did you buy the hull of a speedboat
0:45:52 > 0:45:54and then just drive the Rodius
0:45:54 > 0:45:56as fast as you could into the back of it?
0:45:56 > 0:45:59Wait till you see the inside, it's killer. Back it in here.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01- I'll bring her round. - Yeah, swing it around.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04He's still getting the hang of driving it.
0:46:04 > 0:46:05Give me a minute!
0:46:05 > 0:46:07Right in there somewhere...
0:46:09 > 0:46:11THUD! Beautiful.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14- So...- Huh?- ..you're impressed, right?
0:46:14 > 0:46:16Did you do this on your own?
0:46:16 > 0:46:18We... We had a bit of help.
0:46:18 > 0:46:21Yeah, we had a little help from a guy called Digby,
0:46:21 > 0:46:23who uses the word "death" a lot,
0:46:23 > 0:46:25but that's not what's important.
0:46:25 > 0:46:29No, what's important is, climb aboard the SsangYacht,
0:46:29 > 0:46:33and all of your land-based worries will simply wash away.
0:46:33 > 0:46:34You can swim, right?
0:46:34 > 0:46:36- What? - MATT AND RORY LAUGH
0:46:36 > 0:46:38This is absurd.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40So, the seats have stayed,
0:46:40 > 0:46:42the dashboard has stayed.
0:46:42 > 0:46:46This material here, this sort of fake marble, faux marble -
0:46:46 > 0:46:48what is it?
0:46:48 > 0:46:51That's real, genuine...fake marble.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54- What's that whirring sound? - It's a bilge pump,
0:46:54 > 0:46:57comes on automatically if water gets in the hull.
0:46:57 > 0:46:59- I'm sorry?- What?
0:47:01 > 0:47:05'While Chris came to terms with the awesomeness of our creation,
0:47:05 > 0:47:07'we broke out the big guns.'
0:47:07 > 0:47:09Ready?
0:47:09 > 0:47:12- Whoa!- Flatscreen TV!
0:47:12 > 0:47:15As if out of nowhere, it magically appears!
0:47:15 > 0:47:18- And disappears.- If you want it to.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21- Boom!- You are a pair of court jesters, aren't you?
0:47:21 > 0:47:24What are you talking about? This thing is fantastic.
0:47:24 > 0:47:26So, you've been gone for weeks,
0:47:26 > 0:47:29and the sum total of your endeavours is a 12-inch TV screen
0:47:29 > 0:47:32that will only stay upright if you're holding a rope.
0:47:32 > 0:47:34It's 15-inch.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37- You like music, right?- Yeah.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39Sit right here, please.
0:47:39 > 0:47:40Right there.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42Now, snap your fingers.
0:47:44 > 0:47:46- Oh, look at that!- Boom!
0:47:46 > 0:47:48- Huh?- Grand piano!
0:47:48 > 0:47:49Check this out!
0:47:49 > 0:47:54HE PLAYS THE EASTENDERS THEME BADLY
0:47:56 > 0:47:59Do we have to go and make it move at some point?
0:47:59 > 0:48:02'Hell, yes, we did.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04'And to get Chris on board once and for all,
0:48:04 > 0:48:06'we gave him the first go.'
0:48:08 > 0:48:09Yeah, baby!
0:48:09 > 0:48:12- Whoa!- The SsangYacht lives!
0:48:17 > 0:48:18This thing rocks, man!
0:48:19 > 0:48:21This is insane!
0:48:24 > 0:48:26What I will say is, it's got good power.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29But I thought the Rodius had a ropey old Merc diesel.
0:48:29 > 0:48:32No, no, no, now it's got two Volvo V-6 engines.
0:48:32 > 0:48:35So that gives us a total of 400 horsepower.
0:48:35 > 0:48:36How fast will it go?
0:48:36 > 0:48:38- I don't know.- I have no idea.
0:48:38 > 0:48:41- There's only one way to find out, isn't there?- Nail it!
0:48:43 > 0:48:44Whoo!
0:48:47 > 0:48:49That's 25 knots, right there!
0:48:51 > 0:48:53In a minivan, on the sea!
0:48:53 > 0:48:55THEY LAUGH
0:48:58 > 0:49:00I have to say
0:49:00 > 0:49:04that it is much better than I expected,
0:49:04 > 0:49:08and it is better to drive than the road-going SsangYong Rodius.
0:49:08 > 0:49:13And I will begrudgingly concede that it's not utter crap.
0:49:13 > 0:49:15- Excellent!- Thank you.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18It's a winner! Well done, Rory! Yeah!
0:49:19 > 0:49:24So, I took the liberty of contacting leading luxury boat magazine
0:49:24 > 0:49:29Boat International, right, and asked them if they'd like to review it,
0:49:29 > 0:49:32and they said they're sending over their best reviewer.
0:49:32 > 0:49:35- Yeah!- OK!- OK.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37'So, we went to meet up with him.
0:49:37 > 0:49:39'And inevitably...'
0:49:39 > 0:49:41- No!- 'Yup.'
0:49:41 > 0:49:43- EDDIE:- Ahoy! Afternoon, boys.
0:49:43 > 0:49:45Are you reviewing our boat?
0:49:45 > 0:49:50Boat International correspondent at your service.
0:49:50 > 0:49:54Yeah, no, it says right here, Eddie Jordan.
0:49:54 > 0:49:56'Nevertheless, keen to make a big first impression,
0:49:56 > 0:50:00'we suggested the first test be performance.'
0:50:00 > 0:50:02Eddie, what do you say, let's run
0:50:02 > 0:50:04a quarter-of-a-nautical-mile drag race?
0:50:04 > 0:50:08- Down to that "booey" out there and back.- Oh, OK.
0:50:08 > 0:50:10- What's a booey?- Shut it!
0:50:12 > 0:50:15Three, two, one, go!
0:50:15 > 0:50:16Stand on it!
0:50:18 > 0:50:19Hold on!
0:50:21 > 0:50:24Oh, we've got the jump on him!
0:50:24 > 0:50:26Come on, baby, come on!
0:50:27 > 0:50:31Bloody hell, Rory, slow down! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:50:31 > 0:50:34I don't want to die!
0:50:34 > 0:50:36Come on!
0:50:36 > 0:50:38How many times have you driven a boat this fast?
0:50:38 > 0:50:39None!
0:50:40 > 0:50:43I ain't backing out. Just hold on!
0:50:43 > 0:50:45- Whoo!- Aah!
0:50:45 > 0:50:48God, this is slow. Look at that crappy boat there!
0:50:48 > 0:50:50Nice and easy round the booey.
0:50:50 > 0:50:51- Left!- Go, go, go!
0:50:53 > 0:50:57- Here we go, steady, baby! - He's catching us, he's catching us!
0:50:57 > 0:50:59Now we're smokin'!
0:50:59 > 0:51:01Quick!
0:51:01 > 0:51:04Oh, when we get up speed, we're going to...
0:51:04 > 0:51:05Ohh!
0:51:05 > 0:51:07THEY WHOOP AND CHEER
0:51:07 > 0:51:08Way to go, Rory, way to go!
0:51:08 > 0:51:13Now, stop the boat and never, ever drive that fast again with me in it!
0:51:13 > 0:51:15Ever!
0:51:15 > 0:51:17I hate that boat!
0:51:17 > 0:51:20'The review was off to a rocky start.
0:51:20 > 0:51:25'And once we'd slightly reduced the risk of being buried at sea...'
0:51:25 > 0:51:26There we go.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28'..our expert set us straight.'
0:51:28 > 0:51:31Guys, you're completely missing the point.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34'Apparently, luxury yachts aren't about speed,
0:51:34 > 0:51:37'they're about showing off your toys...'
0:51:37 > 0:51:38Where's he gone? Where'd he go?
0:51:38 > 0:51:40'..as he then demonstrated.'
0:51:43 > 0:51:46Ha-ha! This is what I'm talking about!
0:51:48 > 0:51:49Look at him go!
0:51:51 > 0:51:52Wow!
0:51:54 > 0:51:56He's quick for an old guy, isn't he?
0:52:02 > 0:52:05All right, so he's got toys on his boat.
0:52:05 > 0:52:08We've got toys. Do we have toys?
0:52:08 > 0:52:10'Hell, yes, we did.'
0:52:12 > 0:52:14Whoo! Nice work, Harris!
0:52:14 > 0:52:18- Nice work!- Yeah, Eddie, take that, baby!
0:52:19 > 0:52:23- # I'll be ready - I'll be ready... #
0:52:23 > 0:52:28- This guy is a master of all forms of transport!- He's great!
0:52:28 > 0:52:30# ..I'll be ready... #
0:52:30 > 0:52:31No!
0:52:32 > 0:52:35You know, I'm looking through Boat International,
0:52:35 > 0:52:37and I don't see any other super-yacht
0:52:37 > 0:52:39towing people off the back.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43We are blazing a trail!
0:52:43 > 0:52:44How is he looking?
0:52:47 > 0:52:48He's down!
0:52:48 > 0:52:50He's down, he's down.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55'Well, we'd proven our point,
0:52:55 > 0:52:57'and once we'd found Chris,
0:52:57 > 0:52:59'he was loving the SsangYacht as much as we were.'
0:52:59 > 0:53:03We have just proved you can ski behind a Korean MPV!
0:53:03 > 0:53:07Eddie Jordan, stuff you!
0:53:07 > 0:53:08THEY LAUGH
0:53:08 > 0:53:09Ooh!
0:53:09 > 0:53:12- Careful of the paint job, man! - Sorry, sorry, sorry.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14Do you think that will go down as a good review?
0:53:14 > 0:53:16- Well done, buddy, well done. - He's going to love it.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18'But he didn't.'
0:53:18 > 0:53:20For heaven's sake!
0:53:20 > 0:53:24Being able to water-ski behind it doesn't make it a luxury yacht.
0:53:24 > 0:53:27By the time we are finished with you, you will be convinced
0:53:27 > 0:53:32that this thing is the future of luxury yachting.
0:53:32 > 0:53:33'We decided to bring Eddie aboard
0:53:33 > 0:53:36'and show him the SsangYacht's hidden depths,
0:53:36 > 0:53:40'so we headed for Monaco's legendary marina where, frankly,
0:53:40 > 0:53:42'we blended right in.'
0:53:42 > 0:53:44Ooh, ooh, ooh!
0:53:44 > 0:53:48I think we could squeeze in right behind him, we won't have to pay.
0:53:48 > 0:53:49Mr Jordan!
0:53:49 > 0:53:54Admiral Reid. Welcome aboard the SsangYacht.
0:53:54 > 0:53:58Mr Jordan! Welcome aboard, sir.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00Can I offer you a drink?
0:54:00 > 0:54:02- Gin and tonic, I think. - Gin and tonic?
0:54:02 > 0:54:05- Gin and tonic it is. - I'm very sceptical about all this.
0:54:05 > 0:54:07You're sceptical? How sceptical?
0:54:07 > 0:54:09- Very sceptical.- Very sceptical? OK!
0:54:09 > 0:54:11There you go.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14Now, Eddie, you look like a guy that takes good care of himself.
0:54:14 > 0:54:18- You go to the spa sometimes? - Sometimes.- Check this out.
0:54:18 > 0:54:19Are you ready?
0:54:19 > 0:54:22What we have here is special goldfish that we are trying
0:54:22 > 0:54:25to train to eat the dead skin off your feet.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28So, drop your tootsies right in there and feel the love happening.
0:54:28 > 0:54:29You feel them?
0:54:29 > 0:54:31- Are you guys for real?- Yeah.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34'Sensing the onboard spa wasn't doing the trick,
0:54:34 > 0:54:37'Rory made a panic move.'
0:54:37 > 0:54:42HE PLAYS THE EASTENDERS THEME BADLY
0:54:42 > 0:54:43'And with that not working either...'
0:54:43 > 0:54:45Really?
0:54:45 > 0:54:47'..I quickly moved on to the as yet unexplored...'
0:54:47 > 0:54:49Keep crawling, keep crawling, keep crawling.
0:54:49 > 0:54:51'..master suite.'
0:54:51 > 0:54:52Look at this!
0:54:52 > 0:54:55Is this spacious, or what? Huh?
0:54:55 > 0:54:58I think it's going really well. I think he really likes it.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00- You really think he likes it? - He loves it.
0:55:00 > 0:55:05He just had his feet chewed by a recalcitrant goldfish!
0:55:07 > 0:55:09There's your toilet. Right there.
0:55:09 > 0:55:10Is that nice, or what?
0:55:12 > 0:55:13I am confused.
0:55:13 > 0:55:15And then, this red button, do you see this?
0:55:15 > 0:55:18- Yeah.- This red button...- Yeah?
0:55:18 > 0:55:23..ejects the waste, the sewage, away from the boat,
0:55:23 > 0:55:25so you're not snorkelling through it.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28There's no cigar fish in your life.
0:55:28 > 0:55:31- Give it a try.- What, hit that? - Yeah, hit the button.
0:55:31 > 0:55:34It's like a cannon - a torpoodo!
0:55:34 > 0:55:36HATCH WHIRS
0:55:42 > 0:55:43GURGLING
0:55:43 > 0:55:45Oh! Must have been one in the chamber.
0:55:45 > 0:55:46Rory, where are your manners?
0:55:46 > 0:55:47Sorry!
0:55:47 > 0:55:49I mean, lads, please...
0:55:49 > 0:55:51You are having a laugh.
0:55:51 > 0:55:53What do you mean?
0:55:53 > 0:55:56I mean, you can't possibly say that that's correct or proper.
0:55:57 > 0:55:59Are you proud of it?
0:55:59 > 0:56:02Very. Are you proud of me?
0:56:02 > 0:56:03No.
0:56:03 > 0:56:06- Come on.- How could I be? - We took a minivan...- It's crap!
0:56:06 > 0:56:09But we took a minivan and turned it into a yacht!
0:56:09 > 0:56:12But only a lunatic would do such a thing.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15'Eddie had seen enough,
0:56:15 > 0:56:18'and with our first review complete, all that was left to do was
0:56:18 > 0:56:21'to christen our ground-breaking vessel...'
0:56:21 > 0:56:23GLASS SMASHES
0:56:23 > 0:56:25EDDIE AND CHRIS LAUGH
0:56:25 > 0:56:28'..and set sail once again.'
0:56:28 > 0:56:31So, where to next, boys?
0:56:31 > 0:56:33Portofino? Capri?
0:56:33 > 0:56:35- Miami.- Oh, nice!
0:56:35 > 0:56:39- Yeah!- Can you just drop me off over there before you do that?
0:56:39 > 0:56:40Oh, come on.
0:56:40 > 0:56:42I don't want to go any further.
0:56:42 > 0:56:44Come on!
0:56:44 > 0:56:45Come on.
0:56:53 > 0:56:56CHEERING
0:56:58 > 0:57:00How amazing is that? How amazing is that?
0:57:00 > 0:57:02There it is!
0:57:03 > 0:57:05We built...
0:57:05 > 0:57:08- We built a beautiful boat...- Yeah.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10- Nobody drowned.- Nobody drowned.
0:57:10 > 0:57:12- And we've removed a Rodius from the road.- Yup.
0:57:12 > 0:57:17And...and the torpoodo stopped doing that thing where it backfired.
0:57:17 > 0:57:20That...was very...upsetting.
0:57:20 > 0:57:25OK, OK, time for the big moment, because I have here the very first
0:57:25 > 0:57:31SsangYacht review by Mr Eddie Jordan in Boat International magazine.
0:57:31 > 0:57:33Honestly, this is completely genuine,
0:57:33 > 0:57:37you can buy this right now from any good...boat newsagent.
0:57:37 > 0:57:40- Come on, come on, what does it say? Show me, show, me.- OK, OK, OK.
0:57:40 > 0:57:43Right here, let's see...
0:57:43 > 0:57:46All right, what have we got, what have we got? Um...
0:57:46 > 0:57:48"Top-heavy...
0:57:48 > 0:57:49"Awkward...
0:57:49 > 0:57:53"Minefield of pointy corners..."
0:57:53 > 0:57:55No, no, no...
0:57:55 > 0:57:59"The worst thing to happen to boating since that iceberg."
0:58:02 > 0:58:04OK, OK, here we go. In conclusion...
0:58:04 > 0:58:05HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:58:05 > 0:58:11Uh, "It is quite simply the worst boat I have ever been on."
0:58:14 > 0:58:16How great is that?
0:58:16 > 0:58:19What... What are you talking about? It's a terrible review!
0:58:19 > 0:58:21Yeah, but it's a review.
0:58:21 > 0:58:27Boat International magazine deemed our little boat worthy of a review.
0:58:27 > 0:58:29I mean, yeah, sure, they kicked us,
0:58:29 > 0:58:33but they kicked us over six very glossy pages.
0:58:33 > 0:58:37I mean, feel that. That is good stuff! Feel that.
0:58:37 > 0:58:38Yeah, that is good.
0:58:38 > 0:58:41And it's not every day you get the chance to be utterly trashed
0:58:41 > 0:58:47- right next to an advert for statue repair services.- Yes, exactly!
0:58:47 > 0:58:52- We have arrived. Well done, Captain Reid.- Admiral.- Admiral Reid.
0:58:52 > 0:58:55- Well done, Seaman Harris.- Thank you.
0:58:55 > 0:58:57RORY SNIGGERS
0:58:57 > 0:59:00And that is the end of the series.
0:59:00 > 0:59:01Thank you all so much for watching.
0:59:01 > 0:59:04Have a great summer and we'll see you soon.
0:59:04 > 0:59:05- ALL:- Good night!