0:00:21 > 0:00:25Hello and welcome to a Top Gear special.
0:00:25 > 0:00:30That is Resolute, the most northerly town in Canada, in the Arctic Circle.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32We're here to have a race.
0:00:32 > 0:00:38400 miles over mostly frozen ocean in that direction to the North Pole.
0:00:38 > 0:00:43I shall be travelling using husky dogs, sledge and skis.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46I'm gonna try and beat him in a car.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49That's never been done before.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53No-one has ever tried to drive to the North Pole.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Here's why.
0:00:58 > 0:01:03On the way, he would encounter ice boulders as big as cathedrals.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08Polar bears the size of hatchbacks, temperatures that would freeze the fuel in his tank,
0:01:08 > 0:01:10and, if Al Gore is to be believed,
0:01:10 > 0:01:13open water into which he would sink.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Victory, then, would be mine.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Time to meet my team.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29The engines powering me to the Pole would be ten husky dogs.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Where the car would crash through the thin ice,
0:01:32 > 0:01:34they'd be fine.
0:01:34 > 0:01:41Driving them would be Matty McNair, one of the world's leading sled dog explorers and racers.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44The dogs have been living here for 4,000 years.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48They can go through anything - cold, blizzard.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52I have a lead dog that can go through hard packed ice.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53He figures out a good route.
0:01:53 > 0:01:58So that's terrain, weather - they're made for it.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02I've just been weed on!
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Did they have to wee on me?!
0:02:04 > 0:02:05They're fast!
0:02:09 > 0:02:16To beat the human lamppost, I would be using, a Toyota pickup truck.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19It's a tough old bird this
0:02:19 > 0:02:22but for the trip to the Pole, it had been sent to Iceland,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24for a few modifications.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29The biggest change, apart from the gun, obviously,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32are the enormous wheels - Cuban wheels, I like to call them.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33They give it extra height.
0:02:33 > 0:02:39The tyres are hand-made - cost £2,500 each.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43They are so vast that the front suspension has been moved forwards
0:02:43 > 0:02:46otherwise you wouldn't be able to open the door.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51Other changes - it's got heavy-duty diffs, heavy-duty suspension,
0:02:51 > 0:02:56it's got a sump guard about that thick in case we hit a pretty much solid piece of ice.
0:02:56 > 0:03:02At the front, I insisted it was fitted with these spotlamps,
0:03:02 > 0:03:08although that might have been unnecessary, since it's currently 11.30pm
0:03:08 > 0:03:10and this is as dark as it ever gets.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Inside, there was marine satellite navigation
0:03:18 > 0:03:25and underneath, a long-range fuel tank filled with a freeze-resistant mixture of diesel and avgas.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30All I need to complete the picture is a guide and a navigator.
0:03:30 > 0:03:36Richard Hammond has been given Matty McNair, one of the world's leading Arctic experts.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40Me. I've been given him.
0:03:44 > 0:03:51Can I make it clear now that I'm only here because the producer said I had to be. I don't like snow.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I hate being cold. I hate outdoor pursuits.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57I hate the idea that I've got to "push my body to find the limit."
0:03:57 > 0:04:02I can't stand this stupid clothing that makes this rustling noise.
0:04:02 > 0:04:07I hate the zips and the toggles and all the pockets and that.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- And I hate your stupid truck. - Listen, if we make it,
0:04:10 > 0:04:18you will be the first person to go to the North Pole who DIDN'T want to be there.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22DOGS BARK
0:04:22 > 0:04:26We have the right tools for the job, which just left us.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30We're not what you'd call polar explorers.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38So earlier in the year, we'd been sent to a cold-weather training camp in the Austrian Alps.
0:04:42 > 0:04:47We were put in the hands of some Arctic experts who showed us what salami was and
0:04:47 > 0:04:49how to put an anorak on.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52To be honest, our minds kept wandering.
0:04:52 > 0:04:58- There WAS a man who ate a car once. - Was it that bloke who hate everything?
0:04:58 > 0:05:02Then, a doctor snapped us to attention.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07- Your foreskin has been frostbitten. - Right.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Shall we go straight to the frozen penis?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11ALL: Aarrghh!
0:05:11 > 0:05:16- He'd been walking with it hanging out of his trousers.- With your willy hanging out?- Why?
0:05:16 > 0:05:23- It comes down to organisation.- Good job he didn't do it on the London Underground. He'd be arrested.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25On public transport with it out...
0:05:25 > 0:05:30The doctor moved on to how we'd do our number twos.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32You've got to be quick.
0:05:32 > 0:05:38- We've nearly missed entire programmes...- Sometimes, Top Gear is delayed by an hour.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42I get the runs, especially if I go abroad, which the North Pole is.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46- Doctors say better out than in. - That's not true of your penis in minus 50.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Essentials for the Arctic crap.
0:05:48 > 0:05:55- Take your bog roll and your gun with you.- Take your gun with you?- To the loo?- Absolutely
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Bears love to creep up on you when you're taking a crap.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01That's not sporting of them.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08The next day, it was time for outdoor training. To be honest, it was freezing
0:06:08 > 0:06:11so we went for a coffee instead.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14If it's like this when we get to the Pole...
0:06:14 > 0:06:17We should cross that bridge when we get to it.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19How can you practise being cold?
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Snow is snow. There's no point going out there catching our death.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25You wouldn't be able to go - you'd have a cold.
0:06:25 > 0:06:30Eventually, though, the weather cleared,
0:06:30 > 0:06:34and I gave May and Hammond their first ever skiing lesson.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36I can't go because of the wind...
0:06:36 > 0:06:41Richard, in particular, would spend a lot of time skiing beside his dogs.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Aarghh!
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Keep them so that the tips are like that...- Aargh! - Don't worry about him.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51You need to go more downhill or level your skis out.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- If I go more downhill, I'll slip! - James wasn't much better.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Just put them on. I'm coming down here otherwise I'll fall over.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00It's the same here as it is there.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04Push off and kick this arse out of the skis with your heel.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08- Don't cross them.- Aarghh! Thanks a bunch!
0:07:08 > 0:07:13- It's taken me 20 minutes to get there!- We can go together.- I've got only one ski on.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Progress was painfully slow.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19It's not on.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Aarrghh!
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Oh, God! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Sorry!
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Right.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39We've done... See where we've come from?
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Yeah.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- 30, 40 yards and you've got 400 miles to ski.- Jeremy...
0:07:45 > 0:07:48We were then taught how to erect a tent.
0:07:48 > 0:07:54Our instructor was a former special forces soldier who arrived with a pixelated face.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56He was very bossy.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59We can do it now or four o'clock in the morning.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03The only good thing is it can't possibly be colder in the Arctic.
0:08:07 > 0:08:13You have to push it. You've got it stuck in here. You have to get out...
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- I didn't break it. - Who broke the elastic then?
0:08:16 > 0:08:20The man with the funny face was getting more and more irritated.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24I've just had a brilliant idea. Why don't we just tow a caravan?
0:08:24 > 0:08:26James, feed it through.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Put your foot on that.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Put your foot on there.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33If this blows away, it's game over.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37There's no, "We'll just get another tent."
0:08:37 > 0:08:39It's a case of this tent is it.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40Go on, catch it.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46You haven't got that end put in.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47These are packed with ice.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54HE LAUGHS
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Take it back to where we're putting the tent up.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Finally, quite a bit later, the tent was up.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04- It's...- I think you can sleep in it.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08WIND HOWLS
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Sadly, our ordeal was not yet over.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14The man with the ruined face was going to show us how it would feel
0:09:14 > 0:09:17to fall through the polar ice.
0:09:17 > 0:09:21In your own time, I want all three of you to jump in.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- What's the problem?- Hang on.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29At the Pole, we'd all three be standing with safety harnesses on...
0:09:29 > 0:09:32It's a silly test. I'm not doing it.
0:09:32 > 0:09:37The point of this is that you have to be able to take your clothes off and put more clothes on again.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39I can practise that in the hotel room.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43You've got a tingling down your arm...
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Pull yourself out. Come on, put some effort in!
0:09:52 > 0:09:56You don't want to stay in there all day. Drop the pole.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- How dare you... - Hands above your head!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Hands above your head!
0:10:00 > 0:10:02OK, roll in the snow, roll in the snow.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- Roll in the snow! - Roll in the snow, Jeremy.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09That'll make it much better, rather than a big, pink, fluffy towel.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- That looked awful.- I'm staggered.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Do you know what, though?
0:10:14 > 0:10:16I like to think of us as a unit on Top Gear,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19and as a unit, we've done that test.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22'Our instructors were not impressed with that theory,
0:10:22 > 0:10:25'and decided we needed our heads banging together.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29'So they drafted in the legendary Arctic explorer, Sir Ranulph Fiennes.'
0:10:29 > 0:10:32The problem we have
0:10:32 > 0:10:34is that we can't really get into our heads
0:10:34 > 0:10:37that this is a particularly dangerous place to go.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40But you think it is.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44I don't think it is, I know that it can be
0:10:44 > 0:10:49because of what's happened to me in that area over the last 36 years.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52You will have the polar bear problem,
0:10:52 > 0:10:54you will have the ignorance problem,
0:10:54 > 0:10:56cos you lot are apparently ignorant,
0:10:56 > 0:10:58and thirdly,
0:10:58 > 0:11:01the fact that you will all start hating each other
0:11:01 > 0:11:05because of the extreme cold having an effect...
0:11:05 > 0:11:07The hatred is very real.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10You don't want to laugh about it.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12'Then we moved on to frostbite.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14'He showed us what had happened to his hand
0:11:14 > 0:11:18'after it had been immersed in polar water for just a few moments.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Have a look at that - that's my left hand.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23So, eventually,
0:11:23 > 0:11:28all those red areas were amputated.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30That is... If you look at the proper hand there,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33you can see how much is missing and froze off.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35That was a three-minute mistake.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39If we were in the car, say, went through a hole into the ice
0:11:39 > 0:11:42and you fell in the water at that temperature,
0:11:42 > 0:11:44what are the chances of survival?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46If your whole body fell in
0:11:46 > 0:11:48and the car had gone in and your tent had gone in,
0:11:48 > 0:11:51cos you presumably stow that in the car,
0:11:51 > 0:11:55you could probably survive for, if there was no wind, hours.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57But I'd prefer in those circumstances
0:11:57 > 0:12:00to go quickly rather than slowly, really.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Back in Resolute, I was glad I'd had the talk from Ranulph,
0:12:04 > 0:12:09but not so glad that I'd had a skiing lesson from Clarkson.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- What?- You're not very good.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Because you taught me the wrong kind of skiing!
0:12:14 > 0:12:18You may as well have taught me to play the banjo!
0:12:18 > 0:12:22DOGS BARK 'And as zero hour approached,
0:12:22 > 0:12:25'I was also struggling to bond with the dogs.'
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Ah, there's a pile of poo there!
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Mind you, Clarkson wasn't doing much better with his snow driving.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Er...
0:12:45 > 0:12:47'And James was rubbish with a shotgun.'
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Woah!
0:12:49 > 0:12:55And then, to make matters worse, we met the local weatherman.
0:12:55 > 0:13:01My colleague here is convinced we're going to fall through the ice.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Have you seen on the map...?
0:13:02 > 0:13:06- You're going to this island.- OK.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Now, that's all frozen to a depth of nine feet.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- Not all of it is frozen. - There you go!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13The problem is,
0:13:13 > 0:13:16we know only so much about that region,
0:13:16 > 0:13:21and you are exploring that region at an incredible speed.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22How safe is it up there?
0:13:22 > 0:13:24With a car it's a total unknown.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26There's all kinds of dangers waiting for you,
0:13:26 > 0:13:30and you don't see that the ice is just a few centimetres thick.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- It wouldn't look any different from the top.- Yes.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35That's what gets most people.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37I just wanted Richard to see it.
0:13:37 > 0:13:42This was a man who attempted to go to the North Pole on a sledge.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46People go to the Pole all the time on sledges, don't they?
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- And he's being eaten. - He's giving him a cuddle.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Zero hour, and even though our talent was small
0:13:56 > 0:14:00and the dangers ahead were plainly immense,
0:14:00 > 0:14:02we were looking forward to the off.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Well, two of us were.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- Look at that awful expanse of misery.- Are you cold?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- No.- Are we falling through the ice?- Not yet.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- Well, cheer up.- How far have we gone?- We haven't set off.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Quite.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15WHIP CRACKS
0:14:15 > 0:14:17DOGS BARK
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Who do you think's gonna win? - We're all gonna die.
0:14:27 > 0:14:28GUNSHOT
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Let's go to the Pole.- Go!
0:14:35 > 0:14:38I can't believe it.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41I'm going to the Pole with a dog team.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43HE LAUGHS
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Hang on, stop.- What?
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Stop.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Oh, and they're stuck. They're stuck.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Forgot the gloves.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Give me strength.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I knew he was gonna be bad on this trip.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02I didn't know he'd be THIS bad.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Hurry up!
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Don't go in now. Here we go.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- CAR HORN HONKS - Yeah!
0:15:16 > 0:15:18JEREMY LAUGHS
0:15:18 > 0:15:20You're such a pikey.
0:15:24 > 0:15:25Gently.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28No gently.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32There's no time for gently now cos you forgot your gloves.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34HONKS HORN
0:15:39 > 0:15:45So here we are going further north than any car had been before.
0:15:45 > 0:15:51Riding on a thin crust of ice over an ocean 1,500 feet deep.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Just us - a film crew, two Icelandic mechanics and a soldier.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05An insignificant nine-man blot
0:16:05 > 0:16:09in the pristine white vastness.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- How far have we gone? - Three kilometres.- Three?- Yes.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31And it's taken us three minutes? See, James,
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I said we'd be there in no time.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41This won't last, this sunny sky,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43smooth snow.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- Yes, it will.- It won't. - It will.- It won't.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Ow!
0:16:48 > 0:16:49But it did last.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52The sky stayed blue, the ice stayed smooth
0:16:52 > 0:16:55and we opened up a huge lead over Team Dog.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02It's the third time, I've told Matty...
0:17:02 > 0:17:05This is only the third time I've had skis on my feet.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08It's really hard.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11I know lots of people ski these days but I grew up on Birmingham.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15The car had disappeared into the distance,
0:17:15 > 0:17:17but Matty told me the hare
0:17:17 > 0:17:20would be unstuck by ice that was too thick or drowned
0:17:20 > 0:17:22by ice that was too thin
0:17:22 > 0:17:27and that the tortoise would then take the lead. I wasn't so sure.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Oh hell!
0:17:28 > 0:17:30BLEEP!
0:17:30 > 0:17:33HE GROANS
0:17:37 > 0:17:40With things going so well for us,
0:17:40 > 0:17:42I tried to get James to buy into our expedition.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46I admire Hammond for doing what he's doing, I admire Arctic explorers,
0:17:46 > 0:17:52but I think the time has come to say, let's see how easily we could get to the top of Everest.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Let's see how easily we could get to the North Pole.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59I think we could forge a career as the world's worst explorers.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04Surprisingly, James was ahead of me on that one.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09- What would make it nice is a gin and tonic. Don't you think?- Yes.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I'd like a gin and tonic.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15- I can't have one because we're in the Arctic Ocean.- I'll make one.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16What?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21HE LAUGHS
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- You've got gin!- I have.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27And we're in international waters so there are no drink-driving laws.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Have you got the ice?
0:18:30 > 0:18:33That's a stupid question, isn't it?
0:18:33 > 0:18:37Will you slow down while I slice the lemon for the gin and tonic?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Now THIS is Arctic exploration.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43CAR HORN HONKS
0:18:43 > 0:18:48Please don't write to us about drinking and driving because I am not driving, I am sailored.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49Cheers.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57HMS G&T ploughed on
0:18:57 > 0:19:00and although we occasionally got stuck,
0:19:00 > 0:19:04our Icelandic mechanic showed me a neat trick
0:19:04 > 0:19:06for getting going again.
0:19:06 > 0:19:07So you rock it gently
0:19:07 > 0:19:11and scoop a tiny bit of snow with each rock.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Woah! Woah, woah, woah!
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Good boy.
0:19:24 > 0:19:29Our target was five to six miles an hour but on the first day
0:19:29 > 0:19:32we hadn't done anything like that.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Been on the go ten hours.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44We've done 36 miles. Not good.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Not good news.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49The problem is, we're standing on sea ice.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52It means it has salt in it so it's incredibly grippy.
0:19:52 > 0:19:53The sledge can hardly move.
0:19:53 > 0:19:58I've been skiing for nine and a half hours of those ten.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00I'm broken.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06James and I had problems too.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08We couldn't kip in the car
0:20:08 > 0:20:11in case it fell through the ice while we fell asleep.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13So we had to build a tent.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Everything about tenting is designed to make your life
0:20:17 > 0:20:20just a bit more difficult than it need be. I would dearly like
0:20:20 > 0:20:25to meet the man who designed this and took it to his boss
0:20:25 > 0:20:27and said, "Sir, I've made a bed!"
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Because...you take this piece of elastic off...
0:20:31 > 0:20:33It just isn't a bed.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35It's just half a mattress, look.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37You roll it out like that...
0:20:38 > 0:20:42..and then...you've got to go back and get the other one.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46I mean, why didn't his boss just say to him,
0:20:46 > 0:20:50"Jenkins, you imbecile, it's not a bed, it's rubbish!"
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Everything's crap!
0:21:01 > 0:21:05DOGS HOWL
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Morning.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12This is what I wake up to every morning.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Frost.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18All over my sleeping bag, it's frozen.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20I took my balaclava off cos it had frozen all round
0:21:20 > 0:21:25where I was breathing through it in my tent with the floor made of snow.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29With us, of course, things were more civilised.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32As you know, what I'm trying to do with this mission
0:21:32 > 0:21:36is prove that Arctic exploration needn't be tough.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40Which brings me onto the delicate question of number twos.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43You see, what a traditional polar explorer would do
0:21:43 > 0:21:46is simply go out there and squat down...like an animal.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49What I've done though is fitted this bumper dumper
0:21:49 > 0:21:53into the tow bar attachment and now I will try it out.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57Ooh-wooh! That's nippy.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01James, meanwhile, was on guard duty.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02HE COCKS GUN
0:22:02 > 0:22:07James, are you showing off or are you actually looking for bears?
0:22:07 > 0:22:08Cos I can't run.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Oh, Bartlett, not on the ropes!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- Matty?- Yeah?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25How many poos a day do these dogs need to have?
0:22:25 > 0:22:27SHE LAUGHS I'd say two.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29It's ten.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31It's ten each at least.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Sometimes I'd look forward to the sledge bogging down
0:22:34 > 0:22:38so I could get out of the poo stream and run alongside.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Take it up.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Meanwhile, James was breaking out the elevenses.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Chocolate bars.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Ooh, chocolate, yes.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Look, that one is called Big.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59- I'll have one.- Have a Big.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03We should say, if you're watching this, this is not gluttony.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07We have genuinely been told by our experts that if you are trekking
0:23:07 > 0:23:10across the Arctic, you need 5,000 calories a day
0:23:10 > 0:23:14so we're only too happy to shove that much in.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15I'm not certain
0:23:15 > 0:23:20when they told us we needed 5,000 calories a day
0:23:20 > 0:23:23that we weren't in a slightly warm car sitting down
0:23:23 > 0:23:25but better to be safe.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43After our morning snack,
0:23:43 > 0:23:44James found my Jesus.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Why have you brought Jesus?
0:23:46 > 0:23:49- What?- Why have you brought Jesus?
0:23:49 > 0:23:53The Jesus, I thought, could sit in the car
0:23:53 > 0:23:57and guide us in our hours of need if we ever have one.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- It's a Jesus action figure.- Yes.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- There's a map on the back to guide us.- To Galilee?
0:24:05 > 0:24:08I was now back on the skis and starting to get
0:24:08 > 0:24:10the hang of it.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Today, Richard,
0:24:12 > 0:24:16- you've got to learn how to pee on the move.- Pee on the move?- Yeah.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Watch out.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22I'm not on. Matty!
0:24:30 > 0:24:36We, meanwhile, had reached the vast, uninhabited wilderness of Bathurst Island
0:24:36 > 0:24:39and we were going, if anything, even faster.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Our lead over Hammond kept getting bigger and bigger.
0:24:55 > 0:25:00He's the plucky Brit, and like all plucky Brits, he'll come in second.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07But at this point, he had other things on his mind.
0:25:07 > 0:25:08Around in this area,
0:25:08 > 0:25:12seals make little houses, known locally as aglus,
0:25:12 > 0:25:15and they raise their pups in there all warm and safe.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Unless a polar bear smashes its way in
0:25:18 > 0:25:21which is what's happened here...obviously.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Oh look,
0:25:23 > 0:25:25there's its jaw bone
0:25:25 > 0:25:27with some teeth in it
0:25:27 > 0:25:30and that's, er, the rest of the bits of seal
0:25:30 > 0:25:33the polar bear didn't fancy that day.
0:25:33 > 0:25:34Maybe it was full.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37I hope it still is.
0:25:39 > 0:25:45On Bathurst, we got bogged down in the deepest snow we'd encountered so far.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54But it wasn't a problem because the Icelandics had another trick up their sleeves.
0:25:54 > 0:25:59They told us to let nearly all the air out of the tyres.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- How's that?- Brilliant.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08We should explain. Four pounds per square inch in the tyres,
0:26:08 > 0:26:13we'd normally run with 28 or 30 in the normal road car.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17Four makes the tyres almost nearly flat so we're more flobbery,
0:26:17 > 0:26:22you have a wider area touching the, um...snow and ice. That's the plan.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Once on firmer ground, we had to put air back in the tyres.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30But that was OK because the car had an onboard pump.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41If only we'd had a pump for our stupid tent.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43- How- BLEEP- monstrous is this?
0:26:43 > 0:26:47It's beyond... It's not normal.
0:26:51 > 0:26:56I was now over 50 miles behind, but Matty had come up with a plan.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00We know we haven't got the edge on speed, so we need to use tactics.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03This is what we're going to do. It's now about 8pm.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05We've run all day. We've made brilliant progress.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09We'll put these guys to bed, we've chained them up. They'll have a sleep.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11They'll only do so for about three hours,
0:27:11 > 0:27:15then we'll get up again and then we can run at night.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19The dogs prefer it. They love the colder temperatures, cos they can run faster.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26And so, in the early hours of the morning,
0:27:26 > 0:27:29when the temperature had dropped to minus 35,
0:27:29 > 0:27:31we roused the dogs and ran.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51The silence is beautiful.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56'Then, suddenly...'
0:27:56 > 0:27:57Oh! Oh, no!
0:27:57 > 0:27:59DOGS BARK
0:28:00 > 0:28:04I think it caught our scent earlier on in the day,
0:28:04 > 0:28:08followed our tracks, but whether or not it's just hanging around,
0:28:08 > 0:28:12and picked up the scent now as it comes downwind.
0:28:12 > 0:28:17As I was pinned down by the bear, Team G&T were getting away.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Clarkson!
0:28:19 > 0:28:22I know it's you, you insufferable oaf!
0:28:22 > 0:28:24I'm on the bloody throne!
0:28:28 > 0:28:30We ate up the miles...
0:28:32 > 0:28:35..and discussed how we'd celebrate when we made the Pole.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39So, of all the things you could have brought,
0:28:39 > 0:28:42champagne, whatever it might be,
0:28:42 > 0:28:43you've brought a tin of Spam?
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Yes.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53And then we, too, encountered a bear.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56Oh, it's got babies!
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Sweet!
0:28:59 > 0:29:01Not being Attenborough,
0:29:01 > 0:29:04I couldn't think of anything else to say!
0:29:04 > 0:29:05BEAR GROWLS
0:29:07 > 0:29:11So we set off and, with a bit of divine guidance...
0:29:11 > 0:29:13'I am the vine, you are the branches.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16'If a man remains in me, and I in him,
0:29:16 > 0:29:19'he will bear much fruit.'
0:29:19 > 0:29:21We made it uneaten to the other side of the island.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29I mean, look at that.
0:29:29 > 0:29:30That's not bad, is it?
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Absolutely astonishing.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37Can I spoil it for you by...?
0:29:40 > 0:29:43I've been running all day, all night,
0:29:43 > 0:29:45and now it's day, or night,
0:29:45 > 0:29:47and I've got to sleep.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49I'm confused.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51My body clock's broken.
0:29:59 > 0:30:03Our progress was so good, I decided to find out
0:30:03 > 0:30:06what Hammond was making such a fuss about.
0:30:06 > 0:30:10# Round, round, get around I get around
0:30:10 > 0:30:11- # Get around - Whoo-hoo
0:30:11 > 0:30:12# I get around
0:30:12 > 0:30:15- # I get around - Get around, round, round... #
0:30:15 > 0:30:17This is brilliant!
0:30:17 > 0:30:19# ..I get around... #
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Yeah!
0:30:22 > 0:30:24- MUSIC STOPS - Oh, hang on...
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Guys!
0:30:26 > 0:30:29Can you bring a car to tow us out?
0:30:29 > 0:30:35First time at the wheel, James has managed to put it, basically, into the sea!
0:30:35 > 0:30:37That is seawater.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40If this car goes through, it's game over.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42The car was sinking...
0:30:42 > 0:30:46but luckily the Icelandics had another trick up their sleeve -
0:30:46 > 0:30:47a bungee rope.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53The tow car would set off at a huge speed,
0:30:53 > 0:30:56building energy in the elasticated rope,
0:30:56 > 0:31:00which would then pull our stricken car gently but firmly out of the slush.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02- OK, Hal, are you ready?- Yes!
0:31:02 > 0:31:04ENGINE REVS
0:31:05 > 0:31:08It was brilliant.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10Thank God for that!
0:31:10 > 0:31:15We were free, but for the first time, James and I had real problems.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21We'd been warned before we set off
0:31:21 > 0:31:25that constant tidal movement weakens the ice where it meets the shore.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28They told us not to drive near the coast,
0:31:28 > 0:31:31but how do you avoid them
0:31:31 > 0:31:33when you're in a fjord?
0:31:33 > 0:31:37Look how narrow it is here. It can't be more than a mile, if that.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39They say don't go near the coasts...
0:31:39 > 0:31:43- And we can't NOT go near the coasts. - We can't not go near the coasts.
0:31:43 > 0:31:47To make things worse, the ice here was perilously thin.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49LOUD CRUNCHING
0:31:49 > 0:31:53Look, it's just completely covered in cracks.
0:31:56 > 0:31:57We're facing a problem.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00There is no other way through here.
0:32:00 > 0:32:04- I mean, that's a cliff. - It's a sheer cliff that way.
0:32:04 > 0:32:06We cannot go on the land.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08If we go back,
0:32:08 > 0:32:13the only way we can go is all the way back to Resolute, giving up.
0:32:13 > 0:32:18Based on no knowledge at all, we decided to push on
0:32:18 > 0:32:19in our three-tonne truck.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22- It's blue.- I know.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25- Looking at the ocean.- I know.
0:32:25 > 0:32:29If we went through the ice, our only chance of escape
0:32:29 > 0:32:32would be to smash the glass.
0:32:32 > 0:32:36- See, I don't like the look of that bit.- I don't either, but if we go...
0:32:36 > 0:32:38CRUNCHING
0:32:38 > 0:32:39BLEEP
0:32:41 > 0:32:44- This is- BLEEP- scary.
0:32:45 > 0:32:46As it dawned on us
0:32:46 > 0:32:50the nearest hospital was 1,500 miles away,
0:32:50 > 0:32:54and the nearest rescue helicopter even further than that,
0:32:54 > 0:32:57we began to understand the danger of where we were
0:32:57 > 0:33:00and what we were doing.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05- If we go in here, we're dead, aren't we?- Yep.
0:33:06 > 0:33:07I mean, dead.
0:33:09 > 0:33:14It went on like this for mile after mile.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17We just drove over here and the whole thing's collapsed.
0:33:17 > 0:33:18That's nothing.
0:33:20 > 0:33:21Look.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28Mercifully, though, the ice eventually thickened.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36But we were still in all kinds of trouble,
0:33:36 > 0:33:38because we knew from pilots who'd flown overhead
0:33:38 > 0:33:41we were about to enter a massive ice boulder field,
0:33:41 > 0:33:46and we'd been told we wouldn't have a hope of getting through it.
0:33:46 > 0:33:50That night, for once, it was James trying to cheer me up.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54- Tomorrow, we hit the boulder field, OK?- Quail's egg?
0:33:54 > 0:33:57Ooh, lovely. Got any celery salt?
0:33:57 > 0:33:59So we've got a choice.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02We can go west, where it's new ice, which is likely to be jaggedy,
0:34:02 > 0:34:08- or we can go straight on or east, which will be old ice, which is terrifying.- Yes.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12- We'll be down to two miles a DAY going through that way. - Pate de foie gras?
0:34:12 > 0:34:14I know it's cruel, but I really do like it.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17So, which do you prefer?
0:34:17 > 0:34:21Or this is a 24-month-old Parmigiano. Stravecchio, in fact.
0:34:21 > 0:34:22That should be superb.
0:34:22 > 0:34:26- Anyway, go on, the ice?- We're likely to be down to two miles a DAY.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30We have to make this decision. Tomorrow, we should leave fairly early.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33What would those salmon eggs go really well with?
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Well...
0:34:35 > 0:34:36a crisp white,
0:34:36 > 0:34:37but we can dream...
0:34:37 > 0:34:39Like a Chablis, really.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41Yes. So, do we get...
0:34:41 > 0:34:43NO!
0:34:43 > 0:34:46No! James!
0:34:46 > 0:34:48JEREMY GASPS
0:34:48 > 0:34:50Look what he's got - wine!
0:34:50 > 0:34:53I haven't had any for days!
0:34:53 > 0:34:54I knew you'd like that.
0:34:54 > 0:34:59A week in Resolute and three days on the ice, and just surviving on only gin!
0:34:59 > 0:35:03WIND HOWLS
0:35:03 > 0:35:07Over at Team Dog, we were covering good ground
0:35:07 > 0:35:09with the night-time running.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12But I was getting knackered.
0:35:12 > 0:35:16It's weird the way being very tired affects you.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20Today, privately, whilst being towed along by the sledge,
0:35:20 > 0:35:23I had a little weep.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25I haven't done that for years.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27And, out here,
0:35:27 > 0:35:31the tears cause moisture in your ski goggles,
0:35:31 > 0:35:33and it froze on the inside,
0:35:33 > 0:35:34so I couldn't see.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37So then I had something to cry about!
0:35:37 > 0:35:43After just two hours' sleep, though, the dogs were raring to go.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45DOGS BARK LOUDLY
0:35:45 > 0:35:47Out, Tamar!
0:35:47 > 0:35:49Get out!
0:35:49 > 0:35:52Don't touch him. If he's scared, he'll bite anybody.
0:35:57 > 0:36:02Today, it would be a killer getting over the mountains,
0:36:02 > 0:36:06and Matty's never-ending bonhomie was starting to grate.
0:36:06 > 0:36:11Nothing like a couple of hours' sleep to bring your morale up. Hup, hup!
0:36:16 > 0:36:18ZIP OPENS
0:36:20 > 0:36:23Oh, God, what's he doing?
0:36:24 > 0:36:25Ohh.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33Where's my tea, Clarkson?
0:36:34 > 0:36:37That's from trying to defrost our foie gras.
0:36:37 > 0:36:41I put it on the fire and the tin all went manky.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Can you open the fire-lighters?
0:36:43 > 0:36:45OK, I'll race you.
0:36:45 > 0:36:46STOVE SQUEAKS
0:36:51 > 0:36:56I knew we were in for a tough day and was impatient to get going.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00Very unfunny!
0:37:00 > 0:37:01Idiot!
0:37:05 > 0:37:09My iPod has stopped working. My little camera doesn't work.
0:37:09 > 0:37:13My radio transmitter for my microphone outside the car doesn't work.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Everything is being ruined by the cold,
0:37:17 > 0:37:21and yet the car and everything on it is still working fine.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23It's...
0:37:23 > 0:37:25It is remarkable.
0:37:25 > 0:37:31Which was good, because soon it came face to face with this...
0:37:48 > 0:37:51This is what we'd been warned about -
0:37:51 > 0:37:54a massive boulder field, full of smashed-up blocks of ice,
0:37:54 > 0:37:57some the size of houses.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59How the hell did nature come up with that?
0:37:59 > 0:38:03This is the absolute definition of the chaos theory.
0:38:03 > 0:38:07However, as we were 90 miles ahead of Hammond,
0:38:07 > 0:38:11and we had no idea about the horrors that lay ahead,
0:38:11 > 0:38:13we entered in good spirits.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15Look at it! Look at that!
0:38:15 > 0:38:18It's all those Star Trek scenes,
0:38:18 > 0:38:21you know, in Star Trek, when they land on a hostile planet.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23- And that's some other...- It's that!
0:38:35 > 0:38:37Get up, get up, get up!
0:38:39 > 0:38:40Whoa!
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Pick it up.
0:38:45 > 0:38:47Ho-hup!
0:38:54 > 0:38:56THEY GASP
0:38:58 > 0:39:01The boulder field immediately started to bog us down.
0:39:04 > 0:39:06We couldn't drive over the ice blocks.
0:39:08 > 0:39:09That's impossible.
0:39:09 > 0:39:14And between them were snow drifts 15 feet deep.
0:39:16 > 0:39:20Each time we spin the wheels, we sink a little bit more.
0:39:20 > 0:39:25Even the Icelandic rocking trick stopped working.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28ENGINE REVS
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Honestly, James, I can't see the bloody...
0:39:41 > 0:39:45- This is interesting.- Hold it there! Hold it!
0:39:46 > 0:39:49God Almighty!
0:39:50 > 0:39:57It's very hard work, and very cold, and quite lonely out here.
0:40:00 > 0:40:05The boulder field was also a maze. We'd spent hours picking a route...
0:40:05 > 0:40:07- That way.- What?- That way.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11Then hit a complete dead end.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14There has to be another way through here.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18Down there, down there.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Then it got even worse.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24ENGINE SPLUTTERS AND CUTS OUT
0:40:24 > 0:40:26God!
0:40:26 > 0:40:29This is a lump of solid ice,
0:40:29 > 0:40:32and another one at the back. The car's sunk in between them.
0:40:32 > 0:40:36There's no help, either, because the other two cars are...
0:40:36 > 0:40:38I can just see one, the other one's miles away,
0:40:38 > 0:40:40and they're both stuck, as well,
0:40:40 > 0:40:43so we have to get this out, somehow.
0:40:43 > 0:40:47And with each passing minute, Hammond's getting closer.
0:41:05 > 0:41:08- No, James, it won't do it. - It's not going to work.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12Oh, that's ice, as well!
0:41:15 > 0:41:19It took us three hours to chop ourselves free.
0:41:21 > 0:41:22Try that!
0:41:22 > 0:41:25ENGINE REVS
0:41:25 > 0:41:30This has just crippled us. We've been in here nearly a day.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36As we got more and more lost in the ice maze,
0:41:36 > 0:41:39we lost all sense of time and distance.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47It's four o'clock in the morning. It's a nightmare.
0:41:47 > 0:41:52We're just covering inches per hour, literally.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54By the time we pitched camp,
0:41:54 > 0:41:57we'd been in the boulder field for 20 hours,
0:41:57 > 0:42:00and we were only one mile nearer to the Pole.
0:42:07 > 0:42:08Come on!
0:42:08 > 0:42:12In the meantime, we'd cleared Bathurst Island,
0:42:12 > 0:42:15but the brutal pace was starting to fray my temper.
0:42:15 > 0:42:19- Did you manage to keep it fit?- Yeah. - I do need a new lead dog, he's...
0:42:19 > 0:42:23You can try, but there's nobody else here, and I have a shovel.
0:42:23 > 0:42:24I wouldn't.
0:42:30 > 0:42:38At one point today, I had to count the dog traces onto the carabina that holds them to the sled.
0:42:38 > 0:42:40We untangle the leads, and put them back on.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42There are ten, cos there's ten dogs.
0:42:42 > 0:42:46It took me three attempts to count to ten.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54After two hours' kip, we too were frazzled,
0:42:54 > 0:42:59and starting to understand why no-one had ever taken a car to the Pole before.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02Agh! Oh, no!
0:43:02 > 0:43:06- Right...- Look at that!- I know.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09That is on the horizon, and that is still a lump of ice.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12That means there's bad ice right out there.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15We're gonna be here forever.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17ENGINE REVS
0:43:21 > 0:43:25But we had to get out, because we had limited fuel, limited food,
0:43:25 > 0:43:29and in here, absolutely no chance of rescue.
0:43:29 > 0:43:34My dream of a luxury trip to the Pole was in tatters.
0:43:34 > 0:43:36My hands are freezing, James.
0:43:40 > 0:43:42No, James, it won't do it.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49When I got down to the bottom of that slope,
0:43:49 > 0:43:51- we were back where we were... - I know.
0:43:51 > 0:43:55- ..an hour and a half ago. - You don't have to remind me.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58In eight hours, we went nowhere.
0:43:58 > 0:43:59ENGINE REVS
0:44:03 > 0:44:06- Can you turn the cameras off?- Yeah.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17We, meanwhile, were cruising up the fjord,
0:44:17 > 0:44:22where May had gone through the ice, but we had no worries, sort of.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24Oooh! Ooof! Agh!
0:44:25 > 0:44:29..because Matty had unleashed her secret weapon.
0:44:38 > 0:44:41Good boy! Good boy! Come on! Good boy!
0:44:43 > 0:44:47It's a kite. Matty puts it up and skis with it,
0:44:47 > 0:44:49that saves weight, motivates the dogs.
0:44:50 > 0:44:51Yeah!
0:44:51 > 0:44:55Now we're making progress! Now we are making progress! Ha ha!
0:44:59 > 0:45:00CAR ENGINE REVS
0:45:00 > 0:45:06After two days of going nowhere, Jeremy's patience had snapped.
0:45:14 > 0:45:15- Uh-oh.- Oh my God, what is that?
0:45:15 > 0:45:17I think that's the auxiliary fuel tank.
0:45:17 > 0:45:21- I'll tell you something else... - A whole fuel tank has dropped off.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23- Tell you something else.- What?
0:45:23 > 0:45:25It smells remarkably like it might be leaking.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28Oh, Christ, hang on a minute. James, James, James!
0:45:28 > 0:45:32The propshaft is gouged to hell, and the fuel tank is gouged to hell.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34How much is in the main tank now?
0:45:34 > 0:45:36If we're losing fuel,
0:45:36 > 0:45:39we've got to get as much as possible into the other tank.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45The miles were tumbling.
0:45:52 > 0:45:56We'd managed to pump some of the fuel into the good tank,
0:45:56 > 0:45:58but then we hit another problem.
0:45:58 > 0:46:02That's what the fuel tank did to the shock absorber when it came off,
0:46:02 > 0:46:05so we've had to replace that as well,
0:46:05 > 0:46:07and we've now ended up with one full tank,
0:46:07 > 0:46:10the standard tank the car comes with, the other one is empty.
0:46:10 > 0:46:15Er...crossed fingers, really.
0:46:15 > 0:46:18The crash had also ripped a tyre off the rim,
0:46:18 > 0:46:23but luckily, our Icelandics had yet another trick up their sleeves.
0:46:23 > 0:46:27They filled the tyre with lighter fuel, and...
0:46:29 > 0:46:31Great success!
0:46:31 > 0:46:36However, we now had barely enough fuel to get to the Pole.
0:46:36 > 0:46:41We were still stuck, and then came a call from Team Dog.
0:46:41 > 0:46:46In the two days that we'd been trapped, he'd closed us down,
0:46:46 > 0:46:49and was now in the boulder field, as well.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52THEY SHOUT TO DOGS
0:46:56 > 0:46:59The news caused a bit of a row.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01Sometimes, James, you have to move fast...
0:47:01 > 0:47:04Sometimes, Jeremy, you have to move slowly, for example,
0:47:04 > 0:47:06going over the soft snow,
0:47:06 > 0:47:09where we've been told there are huge lumps of immobile ice,
0:47:09 > 0:47:10which is what's caused that.
0:47:13 > 0:47:17We wished we'd paid more attention at the Alpine training camp.
0:47:17 > 0:47:21We wished we were fitter. It really was starting to get tough.
0:47:24 > 0:47:29And we were both absolutely worn out.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39Oh, bloody hell!
0:47:39 > 0:47:42We felt certain that Hammond was ahead,
0:47:42 > 0:47:45but we had to stop and put the tent up,
0:47:45 > 0:47:47and it was a nightmare.
0:47:47 > 0:47:50It was minus 42, we were exhausted,
0:47:50 > 0:47:55and Reynolds' prediction about falling out was starting to ring true.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58- Hang on, hang on.- Are you in?- No.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00- Just- BLEEP- put it in!
0:48:00 > 0:48:04- Just...please, James...- Look, I am so unspeakably outraged with you.
0:48:04 > 0:48:05Be quick, for once!
0:48:05 > 0:48:08You're not even doing this intelligently.
0:48:08 > 0:48:11You have to push it through until it goes in the other end.
0:48:11 > 0:48:15- James, I am dying here. - You cannot build a tent by shouting.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19- Oh,- BLEEP!
0:48:19 > 0:48:23That, frankly, is a pathetic effort.
0:48:25 > 0:48:31The dogs were also fighting, and Matty dispensed swift discipline.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33Get out! Out!
0:48:33 > 0:48:36Out! Out! Out! Out!
0:48:36 > 0:48:37SHE CONTINUES TO SHOUT
0:48:41 > 0:48:44I need to run 'em for a bit, this is crazy.
0:48:44 > 0:48:46They mean the world to her,
0:48:46 > 0:48:48but they're not domestic pets.
0:48:48 > 0:48:52They're pack animals, and sometimes, she has to remind them who's boss.
0:48:55 > 0:48:59With order restored, they blitzed the boulder field,
0:48:59 > 0:49:01and soon we were clear.
0:49:01 > 0:49:04Look ahead! Look! We've done it! We are out!
0:49:04 > 0:49:07Whoo! Come on, guys, let's go!
0:49:10 > 0:49:16Meanwhile, we were beginning a third day stuck in the same frozen hell.
0:49:16 > 0:49:17SAW WHIRRS
0:49:17 > 0:49:19Whoa, whoa, whoa. James, James...
0:49:19 > 0:49:22- What?- You're standing on, like, an ice bridge!
0:49:22 > 0:49:26- Yeah, what's wrong with that? - You'll cut your- BLEEP- arm off!
0:49:26 > 0:49:28To try and speed things up,
0:49:28 > 0:49:32we'd broken out a chainsaw to cut away the bigger boulders,
0:49:32 > 0:49:35and some snow ladders to cross the deeper ravines.
0:49:35 > 0:49:41- Where I've sawn it off square... - James?- What?
0:49:41 > 0:49:48This bolt's stuck to my lips. Oh, Christ. This bolt's stuck there.
0:49:48 > 0:49:53- Oh,- BLEEP!- James, hurry up. - Put some coffee in your mouth.
0:49:53 > 0:49:55- It- BLEEP- hurts, man.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Oh, God. Agh!
0:49:59 > 0:50:02- Agh, it's hot!- Put it in there, put it in there.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06- Shove your face in it. - Oh, thank God for that!
0:50:06 > 0:50:09Bloody hell!
0:50:10 > 0:50:14- That's just gonna fall down. - It's not, cos I'll dig it in.
0:50:18 > 0:50:19OK!
0:50:25 > 0:50:28- James...- Oh,- BLEEP!
0:50:39 > 0:50:41Right, better hand me down, Matty, we are in a race.
0:50:41 > 0:50:44We need to make good speed on the flat we've got.
0:50:54 > 0:50:58Do you know, over the last two days, two and a half days,
0:50:58 > 0:51:01our average speed was less than a mile.
0:51:01 > 0:51:03I have, um...
0:51:03 > 0:51:07- Oh! Ow!- Do you know what I was about to say?
0:51:07 > 0:51:12- Do you know what I was about to say?- What?- I think we're coming to the end of the boulder field.
0:51:12 > 0:51:17Look about. What can you NOT see?
0:51:17 > 0:51:22I think we have actually got to the edge of the good ice, haven't we?
0:51:23 > 0:51:25That's very flat over there.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27James, we're out.
0:51:27 > 0:51:31We've made i-i-i-i-it!
0:51:31 > 0:51:33It's flat!
0:51:33 > 0:51:36It's so smooth!
0:51:36 > 0:51:38No more going up and down!
0:51:38 > 0:51:40Oh!
0:51:40 > 0:51:43It had taken three days of almost non-stop driving,
0:51:43 > 0:51:47but this incredible machine had breached what the experts had said
0:51:47 > 0:51:49would be an impregnable wall.
0:51:49 > 0:51:53It had taken on the impossible... and it had won.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23- 75 miles to the Pole.- I know.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26And my celebratory tin of Spam.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30What if I ate your Spam?
0:52:30 > 0:52:32You're not eating my Spam,
0:52:32 > 0:52:34unless you want to go home to your wife and children
0:52:34 > 0:52:36with the hatchet buried in your head.
0:52:36 > 0:52:42We knew that with just 75 miles to go on flat ice,
0:52:42 > 0:52:45we could easily overhaul Hammond.
0:52:45 > 0:52:49So we decided to treat ourselves to a spot of tenting.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52I am never, ever, ever, ever going to complain ever again
0:52:52 > 0:52:54about the quality of a hotel,
0:52:54 > 0:52:58as long as I get to a hotel and I don't have to actually build it.
0:52:58 > 0:52:59"Ah!
0:52:59 > 0:53:01"Do you want a room, sir? Certainly.
0:53:01 > 0:53:06"Here's some bricks, some mortar, a lavatory seat, some wood, some nails, a hammer,
0:53:06 > 0:53:09"some carpet, some glass..." What?
0:53:09 > 0:53:11Seat the pole.
0:53:15 > 0:53:19'We too knew that the car would reel us in.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21'So we kept on going.'
0:53:21 > 0:53:25Oh-h! I know I need to get off.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32After 90 minutes' sleep,
0:53:32 > 0:53:35we pulled down the tent for what would be the last time.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38This is what I have to put up with at night -
0:53:38 > 0:53:40sleeping next to a six foot sinus
0:53:40 > 0:53:44that then wees in a bottle and leaves it for me to clear up.
0:53:44 > 0:53:48'A spot of revenge was in order.'
0:53:48 > 0:53:49GUN COCKS
0:53:52 > 0:53:54Result.
0:53:57 > 0:54:00There was another result as well.
0:54:00 > 0:54:05We figured out that we must have retaken the lead from Team Dog.
0:54:05 > 0:54:07BARKING
0:54:07 > 0:54:10As they struggled on, we tried to rekindle
0:54:10 > 0:54:15some of the fun that seemed to have gone missing from our journey.
0:54:15 > 0:54:16I spy,
0:54:16 > 0:54:19with my little eye, something beginning with...
0:54:19 > 0:54:21S.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24- Snow.- Yes.
0:54:24 > 0:54:28I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with...S.
0:54:28 > 0:54:30- Sky.- Yes.
0:54:30 > 0:54:32I spy, with my little eye...
0:54:32 > 0:54:36If it begins with S, I'm going to kill you.
0:54:36 > 0:54:40'But then, amazingly, we spotted something beginning with P.'
0:54:50 > 0:54:53- It's a DC-3.- It is.
0:54:56 > 0:55:00- Or a C-47, strictly.- What, because it's the military one?
0:55:00 > 0:55:02Exactly.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07Imagine surviving that plane crash
0:55:07 > 0:55:09and then finding yourself here.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11That's a bad deal.
0:55:16 > 0:55:18We'd run for 15 hours straight.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22Even so, I knew we were going to lose.
0:55:27 > 0:55:30Um...
0:55:34 > 0:55:39You know, we are now the most northern people in the world.
0:55:39 > 0:55:42Apart from Michael Parkinson, obviously.
0:55:49 > 0:55:52With the Pole just ten miles away,
0:55:52 > 0:55:56it really did look like we'd win the race
0:55:56 > 0:56:00and be the first people ever to drive there. But then...
0:56:04 > 0:56:07- It can't be. It can be.- It is, mate.
0:56:11 > 0:56:16It couldn't be more than a few miles deep, but it didn't need to be,
0:56:16 > 0:56:20because if Hammond was anywhere near, we were history.
0:56:25 > 0:56:27Come on!
0:56:34 > 0:56:35Which way?
0:56:45 > 0:56:51- James, is it stuck in the snow? - It's working.- We're side-slipping.
0:56:51 > 0:56:53Drive!
0:56:53 > 0:56:54Oh, this is just unreal!
0:56:54 > 0:56:57'It took us three hours to do a mile.'
0:56:57 > 0:56:58Hold it!
0:57:00 > 0:57:03'And then the car beached itself on a block of ice.
0:57:07 > 0:57:09'We were desperate.'
0:57:09 > 0:57:12Ho over! Gee, gee over. Gee, gee!
0:57:12 > 0:57:15Right, Matty, let's make this camp.
0:57:19 > 0:57:21POWER TOOLS BUZZ
0:57:21 > 0:57:25Right, let's go!
0:57:26 > 0:57:28Stop!
0:57:36 > 0:57:39- By that boulder.- We can't lose this!
0:57:43 > 0:57:45Try that.
0:57:45 > 0:57:50'Even though we were on fumes, I threw caution to the wind and went for it.'
0:57:52 > 0:57:54Ooh, gosh!
0:58:09 > 0:58:11- You're gonna bust it.- I'm not.
0:58:26 > 0:58:28Come on. Come on.
0:58:37 > 0:58:39I will not be beaten by a dog.
0:58:45 > 0:58:48'At last we were clear.'
0:58:48 > 0:58:52James, we're gonna do it!
0:58:55 > 0:59:01'All we had to do now was match the known bearings of the Pole with the readout on our satnav.'
0:59:03 > 0:59:05Left, left, left.
0:59:06 > 0:59:09Where are you?
0:59:09 > 0:59:14I expected a sort of shining beam of light coming from the Earth's core.
0:59:14 > 0:59:18- I'll go in this direction...- Yeah.
0:59:18 > 0:59:21Are you ready for it? Ready, ready, ready...
0:59:24 > 0:59:26- Yes!- That's it!
0:59:30 > 0:59:33It's here!
0:59:33 > 0:59:36It's here!
0:59:36 > 0:59:39Hammo-o-ond!
0:59:40 > 0:59:42PHONE RINGS
0:59:42 > 0:59:43Ooh, bugger!
0:59:43 > 0:59:46- Matty, I'm off!- Where are you?
0:59:48 > 0:59:50Hammond!
0:59:50 > 0:59:51Yes?
0:59:51 > 0:59:53We're at the North Pole.
0:59:53 > 0:59:56- You've done it? - We've done it. We're here.
0:59:56 > 1:00:00- The truck got there?- Yeah, the truck didn't fall through the ice.
1:00:00 > 1:00:03- Presumably you're not very far away.- No. No...
1:00:03 > 1:00:06Sorry, mate, wait. James wants a word. Hang on a sec.
1:00:06 > 1:00:09Oh, righto.
1:00:09 > 1:00:12- Hammond?- Yes, mate.
1:00:12 > 1:00:14Mate, bad luck.
1:00:16 > 1:00:19That was it, really.
1:00:20 > 1:00:23Oh...
1:00:25 > 1:00:27Can't be far.
1:00:33 > 1:00:37'As James tucked into his ruined Spam,
1:00:37 > 1:00:40'we thought a little bit about what we'd actually achieved.'
1:00:45 > 1:00:49I'd set out to prove that Polar exploration could be easy.
1:00:49 > 1:00:54But it isn't. It's brutal and savage.
1:00:54 > 1:00:56The fact is, though,
1:00:56 > 1:01:00that two middle-aged men, deeply unfit and mostly drunk,
1:01:00 > 1:01:02had made it,
1:01:02 > 1:01:06thanks entirely to the incredible machine that took us there.
1:01:08 > 1:01:13They'd said we'd never get to the Pole, because of the damage the car has already done to the ice cap.
1:01:13 > 1:01:18Perhaps, then, that's what we'd proved most of all, really -
1:01:18 > 1:01:23the inconvenient truth is it doesn't appear to have even scratched the surface.
1:01:33 > 1:01:35Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd