0:00:17 > 0:00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:20 > 0:00:25Hello, we're back! We're back, thank you so much, everybody.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Thank you. Thank you.
0:00:28 > 0:00:34Now, as we know, there's a financial crisis going on at the moment.
0:00:34 > 0:00:40But we've decided not to take part in it.
0:00:40 > 0:00:45So, coming up now is a taster of what you can expect over the coming weeks.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Three, two, one. Go!
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- We're wise men.- We are.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Crikey, it's the Albanian rozzers!
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Look at him tumble!
0:01:16 > 0:01:18We may have hit an Australian quite badly.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22We nearly had him!
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Couldn't we have murdered someone a bit smaller?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Top speed? Nobody knows!
0:01:35 > 0:01:37The door mirror has come off!
0:01:37 > 0:01:40I think he could be a massive idiot.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Not even a dribble.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Here we go, Roman rallying.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I don't know where it is.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57That gap is big enough.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07That was quite good.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10All that is to come.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13But this is now. We must turn our attention to this.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16This is the Transfagarasan Highway in Romania, and we said
0:02:16 > 0:02:21a couple of years ago that this is the best road in the world.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25However, many Americans say, and they do tend to know everything,
0:02:25 > 0:02:30that in fact, the best road in the world is the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35So our producers said to us we should pick any cars we liked,
0:02:35 > 0:02:37get over there and try it out.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41This is the road we'll be driving on.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44A snaking, 500 mile ribbon of asphalt,
0:02:44 > 0:02:48scything through the lonesome pines and the soaring peaks.
0:02:48 > 0:02:53It looks good. So now let's meet the cars we'll be using.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59This is what I've brought. It's the Ferrari 458 Italia.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05It is, in my view, the best car they currently make.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08And you can't actually argue about this, Clarkson,
0:03:08 > 0:03:13because you said on the television that it was magnificent and one of the all-time greats.
0:03:13 > 0:03:19I can argue, and I will, because although this is an excellent car,
0:03:19 > 0:03:23it's not quite as excellent as the car I've brought along,
0:03:23 > 0:03:28which is this, the Mercedes SLS.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36They're both wrong, because I've brought the best car.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38I've brought the Porsche 911 GT3RS...
0:03:41 > 0:03:44..which is the best 911, and therefore the best car.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- That's an end of it.- Hammond.- What?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49What you've brought, mate, is a knife to a gunfight.
0:03:49 > 0:03:54- How do you make that out? - Let me explain, OK? Premiership, Premiership,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- Johnstone's Paint Trophy. How much is it?- Exactly.
0:03:57 > 0:04:02- You think about it. It's half the price of the other two. - How much is it?- 104,000.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03It's not half the price.
0:04:03 > 0:04:09- Well, pretty much. How much is yours? - 160.- Well, yeah.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13- 170.- And by the time you put anything on it?- Well, 190. - There you go.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15This is half the price and still the best.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19- It's not!- We shall see. - It's got stickers on it! - Porsche have given it
0:04:19 > 0:04:23an unusual little flamboyant touch, which is rare for Porsche.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Red wheels on a grey car, which isn't bad, but the calliper's yellow, and that looks stupid.
0:04:27 > 0:04:34- You're right, it's a colour disaster! - It is.- Oh, I've gone off it, It's a fashion crisis(!)
0:04:34 > 0:04:40Can I just say how nice it is to be the elder statesman here with the grown-up car?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43With those doors? "Look at me, I'm an eagle!"
0:04:43 > 0:04:48Can you get an extra where you hit a button and CO2 flows out as you get out in a Darth Vader costume?
0:04:48 > 0:04:49I admit the doors are a bit show-offy.
0:04:49 > 0:04:55But when I close them, that is pure elegance.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58No, that is gigantic, is what it is.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01This appeals to someone who's five.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Yours appeals to someone who's 55 and thinks it won't work in a minute.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08This is for somebody who has taste, refinement...
0:05:08 > 0:05:12No, sorry, it's obvious that that is a more modern car...
0:05:12 > 0:05:14'We could have argued until sunset,
0:05:14 > 0:05:20'but decided instead to see which was best with a blast on the Blue Ridge Parkway.'
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Here we go!
0:05:36 > 0:05:41'However, immediately, there was a problem.'
0:05:47 > 0:05:52- Guys?- Yeah?- Did that signpost say 35 mph speed limit?
0:06:04 > 0:06:08The Blue Ridge Parkway is 469 miles long.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12It can't all be 35 miles an hour. Can't be!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15'I was right. It wasn't.'
0:06:15 > 0:06:19It's now 25, 25 miles an hour here, chaps.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21What?!
0:06:24 > 0:06:31I'm sure we'll get round here and there will be another sign with a cross, just go for it.
0:06:31 > 0:06:38'But no. It turned out that the fastest you can ever drive on this road is 45.'
0:06:44 > 0:06:49I'm going to put it in the comfort setting. May as well, really.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53'This was hopeless. So we pulled over for a rethink.'
0:06:56 > 0:07:01The problem we've got is we can't go on because it'll take us 30 years to do 100 yards.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05We can't go that way because those are the woods of North Carolina.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- Squeal like a piggy!- I don't want to squeal like a piggy. - It's full of Huron,
0:07:08 > 0:07:11who'll cut your head off. Last of the Mohicans.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- That way, down there... - What's over there?
0:07:14 > 0:07:16NASCAR country.
0:07:16 > 0:07:22- Is it?- 90% of the world's NASCAR teams are in that view.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27- Banjos, Huron. Good ol' boys, V8s, steaks.- Absolutely. V8s.
0:07:27 > 0:07:32- I'll have a V8 and you'll have a V8 and you...- Classics, which is better. It's just better.
0:07:32 > 0:07:38'Freed from the Stannah stairlift highway, even James went a bit mad.'
0:07:42 > 0:07:43Yes!
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- FERRARI ENGINE ACCELERATES - That's a pretty good noise.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57- PORSCHE ENGINE REVS - That isn't.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01I've so brought the best car.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07That Porsche is no match for this,
0:08:07 > 0:08:13the most powerful naturally aspirated engine in the world.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20But there's more to the SLS than just brute force.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22This may look and sound -
0:08:22 > 0:08:26GRRR! - like a muscle car, angry, but underneath,
0:08:26 > 0:08:29it's very technical. It's very European.
0:08:29 > 0:08:34The gearbox is at the back for better weight distribution, and it's the same double clutch,
0:08:34 > 0:08:38seven-speed box Ferrari use in the California.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42The driveshaft is made from carbon fibre, so it only weighs four kilograms.
0:08:42 > 0:08:47The body, the chassis, everything else is made from aluminium. This car is very light.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55This isn't a supercar. It's a sports car.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57It's been lightened, stripped out.
0:08:57 > 0:09:02It sacrifices rear seats, yes. But it just feels alive.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Pure, direct, immediate.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10The other two are going to get all the admiring looks, yes.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13But that's my point.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16I'm not driving around in this for other people's benefit.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20I'm driving around in this because I love driving it. End.
0:09:21 > 0:09:27'Meanwhile, in the high-tech Ferrari, the man from 1947 was having a bit of a struggle.'
0:09:27 > 0:09:29James, how are you getting on with your steering wheel?
0:09:33 > 0:09:36You've no idea how it works, have you?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Don't want to sound old fashioned or like a stuck in the mud,
0:09:39 > 0:09:43but you've got the two paddles to change the gears, there are six
0:09:43 > 0:09:46little switches and buttons behind for the stereo,
0:09:46 > 0:09:50the indicators, they're two buttons on the wheel, the headlamp,
0:09:50 > 0:09:53high and low beam, that's there and the wipers are there,
0:09:53 > 0:09:57the comfort suspension setting, the engine start button -
0:09:57 > 0:10:00all on the steering wheel. Nothing for the rest of the car to do.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03That's all very clever, that is the modern way...
0:10:03 > 0:10:08'As Victor Meldrew droned on, we plunged deeper into North Carolina.
0:10:10 > 0:10:16'The birthplace of what is by far the world's number one spectator sport.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18'NASCAR.'
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Always wanted to go to a NASCAR track.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27'So we did. And a rather special one.'
0:10:29 > 0:10:33It's not a modern 250,000 seater leviathan.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38It's Wilkesboro Speedway, America's first oval track.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41This is where NASCAR began.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Wow!
0:10:46 > 0:10:50There is something desperately spooky about a disused racetrack.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54'The historic tarmac was very tempting,
0:10:54 > 0:10:58'and luckily, the Mayor and the lady who runs the track were around,
0:10:58 > 0:11:01'so we asked if we could have a little go.'
0:11:01 > 0:11:04If we promise to behave ourselves...
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- If you promise. - Just for nostalgia's sake.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10- Raise your hand. I promise... - I promise...- I solemnly promise...
0:11:10 > 0:11:13I solemnly promise...
0:11:13 > 0:11:15- If I wreck, I wreck... - If I wreck, I wreck...
0:11:15 > 0:11:18- If I die, I die...- If I die, I die. - You're good.- High-five!
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Never high-fived a mayor before. Right, chaps!
0:11:22 > 0:11:28Little drive. I solemnly promised, with my hand in the air, that we wouldn't go fast.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32'Sadly, though, we forgot.'
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Put it in sport plus. Now let's go!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45LEDs, change gear, yes.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49Oh, no, we're now actually racing.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55You are the thickest man on God's earth!
0:11:55 > 0:11:58'I wasn't being thick, actually.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01'I was trying to coax James into a problem.'
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Hammond, what is it that happens
0:12:04 > 0:12:09when you drive a Ferrari 458 very fast on a hot day?
0:12:10 > 0:12:12I believe it catches fire.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16Yeah, yeah, only a few have caught fire.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20So far - it's only been on sale a few months -
0:12:20 > 0:12:26five Ferrari 458s have burnt to a crisp
0:12:26 > 0:12:31because the glue in the rear wheel arches gets too hot and burns the car out.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Can't imagine James is relaxing in there.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Thanks for that(!)
0:12:35 > 0:12:41'Because my car didn't catch fire, Jeremy got bored and became a yobbo.'
0:12:41 > 0:12:44How do you get the arse to kick out on this thing?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Yes! Ha-ha!
0:12:56 > 0:12:58This can only end badly.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00'And with a certain inevitability, it did.'
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Christ!
0:13:04 > 0:13:09- Well done. Well done.- I think that we don't need to do any more driving.
0:13:09 > 0:13:15However, there was in fact a long way to go, which meant I needed to replace the ruined tyre.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17The SLS doesn't have a spare.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20But then, Boss Hogg stepped in.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24This is Robert Johnson, the Mayor of North Wilkesboro.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Howard Myers, I need your help.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30You need to get Tom McNeal back down to his tyre shop for us
0:13:30 > 0:13:36to get a tyre put on this Mercedes. Have him call me, chop-chop.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39I don't think Boris Johnson would do this for us!
0:13:39 > 0:13:43I was just thinking, that was quite a surprise call from the Mayor!
0:13:44 > 0:13:48'Down at the tyre shop, the fitter only spoke hillbilly.'
0:13:48 > 0:13:51I got 04040, it takes a ramp lamp to change them.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55Wassname down there, used to be on Main Street...
0:13:55 > 0:13:58HE MUMBLES UNINTELLIGIBLY
0:13:59 > 0:14:02'Roughly translated, he didn't have the right tyre.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06'So Boss Hogg got back on the phone and found another man who thought
0:14:06 > 0:14:08'he might have something suitable in stock.'
0:14:08 > 0:14:14- Will they go on those wheels?- Yes. - Let's go. It's only a mile down the road. And he's got these tyres?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- Let's go.- What, so, like, us go?
0:14:17 > 0:14:22- Are you going to just leave me? - I thought I would, actually.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Like you do.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- I don't make a fuss. - Do you like badger bait?
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- Not going to be the same without the big ape, is it? - What a bin lid, honestly!
0:14:36 > 0:14:37He is a yobbo, though, isn't he?
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Four laps and he'd trashed it just by messing about.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43He doesn't think ahead.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I can still hear you, you shortarse!
0:14:49 > 0:14:53'While the midget and the pedant drove on to that night's hotel,
0:14:53 > 0:14:55'I pulled in at tyre shop number two,
0:14:55 > 0:14:58'where I hoped the owner would be easier to understand.'
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Do you think this will work?
0:15:00 > 0:15:05- Oh, yeah.- It will?- I got a cheating tank back here, all wired in. It'll shoot out eight at one time.
0:15:08 > 0:15:13'However, in the back, I met a man who did speak a bit of English.
0:15:13 > 0:15:18'He explained how, in the 1940s, the original NASCAR drivers
0:15:18 > 0:15:22'had started out as bootleggers running moonshine.'
0:15:22 > 0:15:26So the idea was, you put the big engines to outrun the police?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28- Exactly.- That was the idea.
0:15:28 > 0:15:33And then that's how NASCAR was born, people racing the cars they'd built for...
0:15:33 > 0:15:37They built the little dirt track down there in 1947.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41And this was for bootleggers to just see who had the fastest car?
0:15:41 > 0:15:46- See who had the fastest car.- That they'd build to outrun the police? - Yeah.- That's how it all began?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Then they all started racing each other.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53'While I was soaking up the local history, James and Richard had arrived at the overnight halt.'
0:15:53 > 0:15:56It's not a motel. It's a bit posher than that.
0:15:56 > 0:16:01The villas have actually got garages on them. That's quite good.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05- Brookside, isn't it?- We're going to be in a soap opera. Ace!
0:16:05 > 0:16:07MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Do you know this song? - Steve Earle. Copperhead Road.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14It's all about doing up cars to run moonshine.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16# Copperhead road! #
0:16:18 > 0:16:21# Heard mama cryin', knew something wasn't right
0:16:21 > 0:16:25# He was headed down to Knoxville with the weekly load
0:16:25 > 0:16:28# You could smell the whisky burnin' down Copperhead Road... #
0:16:39 > 0:16:44'This was the most memorable tyre shop I'd ever been to.
0:16:44 > 0:16:49'However, nothing they had on the shelves would fit the Merc's massive rims.'
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- No.- No.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55'Which left me with just one option.'
0:16:55 > 0:17:00So, I'm now driving on a ruined tyre
0:17:00 > 0:17:06115 miles to the hotel where we've been booked into by the producers,
0:17:06 > 0:17:08which is in Virginia.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Which is in another state.
0:17:14 > 0:17:20With a bit of luck, I'll have fallen asleep at the wheel when the tyre bursts.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:27 > 0:17:29We'll pick that up later on.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31But now, it's time to do the news.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34And the big news is,
0:17:34 > 0:17:41James and Richard have both had a horrible accident with a Flymo.
0:17:41 > 0:17:47- No, listen!- You must have noticed. - It was the end of my mid-life crisis, so I lost the hair. I'm done.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50And you actually think it's ended, dressed as Adam and the Ants?
0:17:50 > 0:17:56- He's Sergeant Pepper.- I've moved on. - What would you do if I sang out of tune, Hammond?
0:17:56 > 0:18:01You can shut up, because in that film, you looked like Ted Nugent and now you look like Kojak.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Where's it gone?
0:18:03 > 0:18:10- It is noticeable, mate.- That from a man, ladies and gentlemen, who presumably was bald until puberty.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Thank you. It is traditional at this time of year
0:18:13 > 0:18:17that we take a look at some of the excellent gift items available
0:18:17 > 0:18:20this Christmas for the motorist in your life.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- Are you reading from a catalogue? - It sounds that way!
0:18:22 > 0:18:26- As we've established, in that film, you are a Porsche enthusiast. - Yes, I am.
0:18:26 > 0:18:32- So what I've got for you here is a Porsche-designed training shoe. - Oh-ho!
0:18:32 > 0:18:38- £310.- Ooh! Presumably, if it is a Porsche, the laces are extra?
0:18:38 > 0:18:43- Oh, yes. And the soles and this bit. - "Sir wants TWO shoes?"
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Two shoes? That's 1,900...
0:18:46 > 0:18:50- I am indeed a Porsche fan. You are a Mercedes fan, are you not? - Yes, I am.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54You'd be interested in the shirt Mercedes are encouraging their customers to buy.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57I've got one for you here. Here is the Mercedes shirt.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01It's a vest a with "TRUCKER" written on it.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07- It's a vest with "TRUCKER" on it. - It's not a Mercedes. - It is, it says Mercedes on it.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08It's the Bruce Willis look.
0:19:08 > 0:19:13Or Rab C Nesbitt. Beer and egg yolk stains are extra!
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- I would rather have that than a Porsche car.- Really?- I would.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Now, you know those air-fresheners you can get for cars,
0:19:19 > 0:19:23- and they're always mountain dew and spring breeze?- Alpine stream...
0:19:23 > 0:19:27All they are really is just mildly scented bottles of sick.
0:19:27 > 0:19:33Now, how much better would it be if your air-freshener smelt of bacon?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Everybody likes... Well, not Jews and Muslims. Or pigs.
0:19:36 > 0:19:41- Then they'd think they're on fire. Not them.- But nobody can make a bacon air-freshener.
0:19:41 > 0:19:47- Well, that, you see, is where you're wrong. Bacon air-freshener.- No way! - For your car.
0:19:47 > 0:19:52- That's a proper idea! - This is genuinely a brilliant Christmas present idea.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Let's just pop it open and we shall invite people to smell...
0:19:55 > 0:20:00- Smell that.- It's bacon. Just. Ohh! - It is bacon.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- Seriously, seriously. - It's not fresh bacon.
0:20:02 > 0:20:07I actually think this could cure vegetarianism.
0:20:07 > 0:20:13If a vegetarian gets in your car and that's dangling, they'll want a meat pie in a jiffy. Brilliant plan.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- I would like to make... - Moving on, more Christmas presents. - Yes, another gift.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Bachelors, this is important, pay attention. At some point,
0:20:20 > 0:20:25any day soon, you might persuade a lady to come back to your pad, and at some point in the evening,
0:20:25 > 0:20:30as things are warming up, maybe you'll going to want to dim the lights, and that is where...
0:20:30 > 0:20:32this comes in.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35It's a Bugatti dimmer switch.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39She is going to operate that and immediately take an interest
0:20:39 > 0:20:42in what you will look like naked. Look at that. Oh, it's hot!
0:20:42 > 0:20:48At some point she may say to you, the lady, after she's fiddled with your dimmer switch,
0:20:48 > 0:20:52"What time is it?" and you can produce your steering wheel clock.
0:20:52 > 0:20:57- Wow!- And this will tell her the time and that you're a motoring enthusiast.
0:20:57 > 0:21:02Actually, "Oh, dear," she might say, "I've broken a nail," but that's OK,
0:21:02 > 0:21:06because this novelty nail clipper is in the shape of a car, look at that.
0:21:06 > 0:21:11You could try and change the mood. "Would you like a cup of coffee, my darling?"
0:21:11 > 0:21:13And here it is, in this piston mug!
0:21:13 > 0:21:17Or, maybe she is a sophisticate and would like a glass of Chablis,
0:21:17 > 0:21:22but that's OK, because you can put it in this tasteful... Sorry. ..steering wheel coaster.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Yeah, and it doesn't matter if she doesn't finish the Chablis,
0:21:26 > 0:21:31because this gearstick stopper will keep it fresh until another lady comes round.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Slick! Slick, yeah!
0:21:33 > 0:21:39Sticking with gearsticks, I have a gearstick toothpick for the lady.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41What, that's a toothpick?!
0:21:41 > 0:21:47- Well, only if you get Esther Rantzen back to your flat.- Yeah. - Or Janet Street-Porter.- Either way.
0:21:47 > 0:21:52Yes. No, actually, on the subject of Janet Street-Porter, if you do get a toothy woman back,
0:21:52 > 0:22:00you might want to show them this, which is a model that you make of an internal combustion engine.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- She's going to be wowed. - Yes. Now, here's one I made earlier. There we are.
0:22:04 > 0:22:10You draw the lady over, she's seen you dimmer switch, and she can see the pistons going up and down.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14Look at that. And you can see the spark plugs flashing if I push that light.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Mate, that is going to work better than a dozen oysters. She's going to be hot!
0:22:18 > 0:22:20She'll be pawing the ground by now!
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- It's working. - Would that do it for you?
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- Yeah.- You are in for a whole night of suck, squeeze, bang, blow with that, aren't you?
0:22:29 > 0:22:32What, is that the right order?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- It is for that.- I'd like to introduce something
0:22:35 > 0:22:39for which I thought, "I'm going to struggle to find a motoring application."
0:22:39 > 0:22:43What it is is, this machine is controlled by your iPhone with an app
0:22:43 > 0:22:46and it flies up in the air and there's a camera on it, there.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50I thought, "Hang on, that could be very useful". Imagine if you're in a traffic jam, yeah?
0:22:50 > 0:22:55You're wondering what's caused it open the sunroof, send this out...
0:22:55 > 0:22:57So it's like a traffic drone?
0:22:57 > 0:23:00It sends a picture to your phone so you can have a look.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02"That's caused it, turn round."
0:23:02 > 0:23:05So you know what we're on about, this is the phone.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Hold it up. So it's sending a picture to this telephone of me,
0:23:09 > 0:23:12so you can fly it about and control it from your telephone.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15How brilliant is that? Now, this is around, what is it?
0:23:15 > 0:23:17£300 or so. So it's quite a lot of money,
0:23:17 > 0:23:21but it is actually very easy to fly, as I'm going to...
0:23:21 > 0:23:25- Are you sure you should be doing this?- Yes, I'm the man for the job.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Given your inability to do anything technical.- There it goes.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32- Oh, God! People are going to get hurt.- Look at this!- No, no!
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Tilt the phone forwards...
0:23:36 > 0:23:37I'm genuinely scared!
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- Now go backwards...- No! No! No!
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- No! No!- I've hit the lighting.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Oh, great!
0:23:45 > 0:23:48APPLAUSE
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Now you've fused the lights.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55- Yes, you've fused the lights. - It actually says "cut out emergency"
0:23:55 > 0:23:57- on the screen. - 'Get a spark to the set.'
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- There you go, you've broken the studio.- No, no, no...
0:24:00 > 0:24:02You've broken it!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04I've broken it a bit, but I think, listen...
0:24:04 > 0:24:07- No, no, no, I've got this.- Well, that's not going to work, is it?
0:24:07 > 0:24:10That's fine, that's not at all distracting.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- What about that?- Brian, has that really fused the lights?
0:24:13 > 0:24:18- 'Yes, it has.'- Listen, we've got a million motoring-related candles here, we'll just light these.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Light some candles, that'll do nicely.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Let's make it a Christmas scene, plus candles will make it warmer...
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Ow, I've set fire to my thumb.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27This is very nice and... Oh, hang on.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31Hold a candle up near where you are and then we can see you.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Are we all right? Can you see us all right? Are we on the screen?
0:24:34 > 0:24:35I think this is better!
0:24:35 > 0:24:38This is quite nice.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Normally at this point in the programme we would have a high-performance car
0:24:42 > 0:24:47out on the track and the Stig would be setting a time in it for us, but we can't because he's gone.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- He has. Stig has gone.- Yeah.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- We're like Genesis now. - We're not like Genesis!
0:24:53 > 0:24:55We are, and then there were three.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57I hate Genesis!
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- I hate the Stig.- Well, yeah.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Mind you, at least we know his real name now.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05- What?- Judas Iscariot.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07LAUGHTER
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Well, let's get back to our film.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Because Jeremy, annoyingly, had managed
0:25:12 > 0:25:15to nurse his Mercedes with a ruined rear tyre
0:25:15 > 0:25:20to the hotel in Virginia, and we pick up the action the following morning.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26We were woken early, partly by the noise at the front of our chalet,
0:25:26 > 0:25:29and partly by the noise at the back.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Sorry, James.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38- It didn't open.- Morning.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40- Morning.- How are you?
0:25:40 > 0:25:42- Great.- What is this about?
0:25:42 > 0:25:47It was the man with the strimmer at half five I liked. What? Oh, yeah.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50I know, it's a new range, they're ever so fashionable.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54- That's very funny.- Chaps, there's a racetrack in the garden.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58'There are golf resorts and skiing resorts,
0:25:58 > 0:26:01'but this is a motor-racing resort, a hotel with
0:26:01 > 0:26:04'tea and coffee-making facilities in the rooms,
0:26:04 > 0:26:08'and in the garden, the Virginia International Raceway.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13'Paul Newman described this place as heaven on Earth, so we've put
0:26:13 > 0:26:17'new tyres on the SLS and went for a spin.'
0:26:17 > 0:26:22OK, here we go. Virginia International Raceway.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Right, red light's coming on.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Gear changes are just spectacularly good.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37There's some very clever aerodynamics stuff on this.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42Those little moustache things on the front, the rubbery bits you can see
0:26:42 > 0:26:46on the grill, they actually deform at speed, and that way they
0:26:46 > 0:26:50improve the air flow and increase the downforce at the same time.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Now, watch this.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58James has gone off like a scalded proverbial.
0:26:59 > 0:27:05'The Porsche has 450 horsepower, 110 less than the Ferrari,
0:27:05 > 0:27:09'but I was confident that, despite this, I could catch James.'
0:27:09 > 0:27:13That mechanical grip, everything working to keep those back wheels on the deck.
0:27:13 > 0:27:18The wing, the tyres, and, of course, where the engine is.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21This is a track-bred car, this is what it's for.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27'The SLS, on the other hand, is not a track-bred car.'
0:27:27 > 0:27:31Looks like a big corner. How hard can it be?
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Oh, deary me!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37I may have got the tail out a bit there.
0:27:37 > 0:27:41Richard's Porsche, that was designed specifically...
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Oh, heavens above!
0:27:45 > 0:27:46How can I have gone off?
0:27:46 > 0:27:51It's just so insanely tail-happy.
0:27:52 > 0:27:53'Further up the track,
0:27:53 > 0:27:56'my little Porsche was closing in on the Ferrari.'
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Go, go, go, go, go! Catch him.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06The Ferrari's got the legs on me on the straight.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Nothing I can do about that.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13'My only chance, then, was to catch him in the corners.'
0:28:13 > 0:28:16Carbon ceramic brakes, not fading.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20Boy am I glad of that, because this is some punishment they're getting.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24'Meanwhile, in the dog with the waggly tail...'
0:28:27 > 0:28:30Oh, my God!
0:28:30 > 0:28:35Every time you go near the throttle, the back's out.
0:28:35 > 0:28:39'But actually, I couldn't care less about catching Richard and James.'
0:28:39 > 0:28:42This is the thing about this car...
0:28:42 > 0:28:48You can hurl it about, smoke pouring from the rear end,
0:28:48 > 0:28:52and you're going unbelievably slowly, but with a massive smile on your face.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54That is the AMG way.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Ha-ha!
0:29:02 > 0:29:05They're quicker than me, but I'm laughing!
0:29:05 > 0:29:07And I bet they're not!
0:29:09 > 0:29:12'I was right. Because their race was getting serious.'
0:29:12 > 0:29:14Break, you idiot! Ooh, BLEEP!
0:29:14 > 0:29:16There you go.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21Gaining a little bit there.
0:29:21 > 0:29:22Go on!
0:29:24 > 0:29:25Blind hill!
0:29:25 > 0:29:27Argh!
0:29:27 > 0:29:29Argh!
0:29:31 > 0:29:34Seemed slow through there, James. Ho-ho-ho!
0:29:36 > 0:29:39Hammond's going to be chuffed.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43- No!- Ooh, could have had him there.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47Come on. Keep with him.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52Keep the power on till over this one.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57BLEEP! That's a big one.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05Yeah, that might, that might have put me out.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09Ye-es! As we know, viewers,
0:30:09 > 0:30:11staying on the track is all part of racing.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17'So even with Captain Slow at the wheel, the Ferrari ruled the track.
0:30:17 > 0:30:21'And Jeremy, who had gone through yet another set of tyres...'
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Good to see he's learning at his usual rate.
0:30:23 > 0:30:27'..was typically gracious in defeat.'
0:30:27 > 0:30:30- Obviously on the straight, I could easily have you.- Could you?
0:30:30 > 0:30:33Yeah. On a straight line this will munch you.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35- I don't think it will. - I could walk past you.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37I don't know, you see.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39Do you want £5 on it? On television?
0:30:39 > 0:30:43£5 says that in a straight line, drag race, I have you.
0:30:43 > 0:30:47'But before we could do the race, a challenge arrived.'
0:30:47 > 0:30:52"At this racetrack you can do so much more than race your car.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55"You can also, for instance, learn...
0:30:55 > 0:31:00"Learn how to do a drive-by shooting.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03"To see which of your cars has the most stable ride,
0:31:03 > 0:31:07"an instructor will drive while you shoot at a target
0:31:07 > 0:31:09"through the passenger window."
0:31:09 > 0:31:11I didn't see that coming!
0:31:11 > 0:31:16Quite clever, if you think about it, because if it's bumpy... It works.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19- How big's the target?- Are we allowed to open the window first?
0:31:19 > 0:31:23We'll choose the target, I think, gentlemen. We'll choose the target.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26First, though, we were given weapons training
0:31:26 > 0:31:29which made Jeremy Van Damme very excited.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32Insert it in the bottom firmly.
0:31:32 > 0:31:33GUNS CLICK
0:31:33 > 0:31:35Oh! I Like that!
0:31:35 > 0:31:38With a good grip, it's going to, in a sense, not kick up so much.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Nice and firm grip, and as you punch straight out,
0:31:41 > 0:31:46sight in on the target, and you hold it up on the target, fire!
0:31:46 > 0:31:48GUNFIRE
0:31:48 > 0:31:49In the throat!
0:31:49 > 0:31:52- GUNFIRE - Got him in the heart and the spleen.
0:31:52 > 0:31:56'Eventually it was time to tear Van Clarkson away...'
0:31:56 > 0:31:57Got him in the face!
0:31:57 > 0:32:00'..because it was time to put up the targets.'
0:32:04 > 0:32:06'And then work out a scoring system.'
0:32:06 > 0:32:12- 50, 50, 100, 10.- That's probably the industry standard somewhere.
0:32:14 > 0:32:17'Magnum PI was the first to go.'
0:32:17 > 0:32:20- He's got to go for testes. - He will do.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22GUNFIRE
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Going for the plums.
0:32:24 > 0:32:25Going for the torso.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28He got his arse, he shot him in the arse!
0:32:28 > 0:32:31And the elbow! Ha-ha!
0:32:31 > 0:32:35'Hammond was next, but first he wanted to make some adjustments.'
0:32:35 > 0:32:36What's he doing?
0:32:36 > 0:32:39- What's are you doing? - Turning him round.
0:32:39 > 0:32:43- Why?- So I can shoot him in the back! Because that's how it's done -
0:32:43 > 0:32:44in the back!
0:32:44 > 0:32:47So he'll be having a normal day, thinking everything's going fine...
0:32:47 > 0:32:51Thinking about seeing his mates, and doing something together,
0:32:51 > 0:32:54and then he'll be shot in the back!
0:32:56 > 0:32:58That's what I thought would be nice to do.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05He looks like Don Johnson out of Miami Vice.
0:33:05 > 0:33:06He does, actually.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09RAPID GUNFIRE
0:33:13 > 0:33:16Wow! It's disturbing, isn't it?
0:33:16 > 0:33:18A man who lives in the countryside,
0:33:18 > 0:33:21drives a Land-Rover, and is that good with a gun.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23I went to art college, you know.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25May have been wasting my time.
0:33:25 > 0:33:32'It then turned out that the SLS had clearly been designed with drive-by shootings in mind.'
0:33:33 > 0:33:37Yeah, I didn't think of that. What pistol's he supposed to be using?
0:33:37 > 0:33:41Safety is off.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45INTENSE GUNFIRE
0:33:50 > 0:33:52I'm on fire! Ow! BLEEP!
0:33:52 > 0:33:57'Once Jeremy had been put out, we totted up my score.'
0:33:57 > 0:33:59You've got him in the stomach.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02That's so close to the testes in this area.
0:34:02 > 0:34:06So, James May, you have scored 80 points.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10'The backwoodsman, however, did even better.'
0:34:10 > 0:34:1350. You've got a head shot. 145.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15'Then it was Jeremy's turn.'
0:34:15 > 0:34:18So it's 100 for the plums shot.
0:34:18 > 0:34:2120, 30, 40, 50,
0:34:21 > 0:34:25175, 205, 210...
0:34:25 > 0:34:28245 points...
0:34:28 > 0:34:36- in the ride test Stig-shooting drive-by competition.- Yes.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42The next morning we were told to head to New York City.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46A lifetime away thanks to the insane speed limits.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50James?
0:34:50 > 0:34:51Yeah?
0:34:51 > 0:34:53'I'm bored.'
0:34:53 > 0:34:55'I was just thinking exactly that,
0:34:55 > 0:34:58'but I was too bored to pick up the radio to say it.'
0:34:58 > 0:34:59'Shall we see...
0:34:59 > 0:35:04'No, we mustn't see who's got the fastest car here, must we?'
0:35:04 > 0:35:08I tell you what, let's have a race from 45-55mph.
0:35:08 > 0:35:12Right. That's a good idea. The shortest race in history.
0:35:12 > 0:35:13Right, Hammond, give us a cue.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16Ready, and go!
0:35:19 > 0:35:20'I won.'
0:35:22 > 0:35:24That is not a spectator sport.
0:35:24 > 0:35:29'Right, Hammond, you come up front, and we'll have SLS vs. 911.'
0:35:29 > 0:35:31'Starter's orders, gentlemen.'
0:35:31 > 0:35:34At 45-55 Racing, here from the state of Virginia -
0:35:34 > 0:35:363, 2, 1, go!
0:35:38 > 0:35:39Yes!
0:35:39 > 0:35:44My new motor sport kept us entertained until lunchtime, when
0:35:44 > 0:35:49we asked the sat-nav in Jeremy's Mercedes to find us a restaurant.
0:35:49 > 0:35:52Right, restaurants. African cuisine,
0:35:52 > 0:35:55Austrian, Balkan, Belgian. What do you want?
0:35:55 > 0:35:58I want Balkan. Get me Balkan.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04Sadly there weren't any of those restaurants in Virginia.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09- Small Coke.- Small Coke, thanks.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12You know, I discovered a flaw with the American way.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16You can buy a small coke, which is, like, a dollar, or a big one,
0:36:16 > 0:36:20which is 2, because you get more, but you get free refills.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23So, why would you buy a big one unless you were a bit thick?
0:36:23 > 0:36:27- I can't take you seriously in those sunglasses.- No, I can't.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30Oh, sorry. Damn, I've come on another film shoot
0:36:30 > 0:36:31with two style gurus.
0:36:36 > 0:36:41After lunch we made a small detour to Washington DC
0:36:41 > 0:36:43which was nothing like it appears in the films.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46SIRENS BLARE
0:36:52 > 0:36:53O...K!
0:36:56 > 0:36:59Is that man walking along playing with his testicles?
0:37:06 > 0:37:10So, we left again. Ploughing towards Maryland,
0:37:10 > 0:37:15where James and Jeremy decided to settle their wager.
0:37:15 > 0:37:16James, look at that.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18That sign. Drag racing.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21'You're on - let's do it.'
0:37:21 > 0:37:24Not a lot of point in Hammond taking part in this because his
0:37:24 > 0:37:28trophy car is no match for the Premiership here.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30This is a big battle we're about to do.
0:37:30 > 0:37:34Ferrari vs. AMG. Ha-ha!
0:37:35 > 0:37:37'The raceway was extremely slippery.'
0:37:37 > 0:37:40But both our cars were fitted with sophisticated
0:37:40 > 0:37:43launch control systems.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45Right. Put it in drive.
0:37:45 > 0:37:49Engage the sport setting on the traction control.
0:37:49 > 0:37:53Turn everything off, then you select first gear.
0:37:53 > 0:37:58Turn the gearbox all the way round. Confirm I want it.
0:37:58 > 0:38:01Press this button, PS. Then, woomph! Off I go.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03'The idea of launch control is
0:38:03 > 0:38:06'to minimise wheelspin in conditions like these.'
0:38:06 > 0:38:08Here we go.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13Here we go.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20That's the worst launch control in history.
0:38:20 > 0:38:24Mind doesn't work either, but the Ferrari system learns the surface.
0:38:24 > 0:38:27I'm going to do it again.
0:38:27 > 0:38:28Here we go.
0:38:35 > 0:38:36Americans can do this.
0:38:38 > 0:38:39'For the actual race we decided
0:38:39 > 0:38:43'to ditch the launch control and do the start ourselves.'
0:38:43 > 0:38:44Here we go.
0:38:46 > 0:38:47Go!
0:38:52 > 0:38:55'That didn't work either, so we lined up the cars once more
0:38:55 > 0:38:58'and put the gearboxes in automatic.'
0:38:58 > 0:38:59Go!
0:39:02 > 0:39:05'But no matter what we did, it was hopeless.'
0:39:10 > 0:39:13'Eventually, by being extremely cautious,
0:39:13 > 0:39:16'I got the Ferrari to the end of the drag run.'
0:39:16 > 0:39:18Being gentle.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21'But Jeremy can't do gentle.'
0:39:22 > 0:39:24Come on!
0:39:24 > 0:39:26Ah-ha!
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Now, as I think we can see from that,
0:39:39 > 0:39:43- I won, and you two, in fact, lost. - I wasn't even in it.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47Never mind that. You were too heavy-footed, as usual.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50Just because you're light in your loafers, it doesn't mean anything.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52- Can you two just stop arguing? - No.- Yes.
0:39:52 > 0:39:58Yes, because it is now time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
0:39:58 > 0:40:02Now, my guest tonight is responsible for making some of my
0:40:02 > 0:40:05all-time favourite films - Slumdog Millionaire, Trainspotting,
0:40:05 > 0:40:0828 Days Later, the list goes on and on.
0:40:08 > 0:40:13His latest film is the true story of a man who cuts his own arm off.
0:40:13 > 0:40:17So, inappropriate though it may be given the circumstances,
0:40:17 > 0:40:20would you please put your hands together...
0:40:20 > 0:40:21for Danny Boyle!
0:40:21 > 0:40:23APPLAUSE
0:40:23 > 0:40:27What an honour! Thank you so much!
0:40:27 > 0:40:30- Thank you very much.- Have a seat.
0:40:30 > 0:40:34- Thank you very much. - I'm sorry about the mess.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37Try and ignore that.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Now, I've been looking through your car history
0:40:40 > 0:40:44and am I right in saying, you're not really a car person?
0:40:44 > 0:40:48I'm not really. The only exciting car I've had was an Alfa Romeo.
0:40:48 > 0:40:53But it was only a 156, and I just got so many points so quickly.
0:40:53 > 0:40:58It's like they say - cars like that just attract policemen, thieves and girls.
0:40:58 > 0:41:02And there weren't any girls attracted by it, so I gave it up.
0:41:02 > 0:41:07So, the Alfa, the only decent car you had, and you need to have an Alfa to be a petrolhead, you can't
0:41:07 > 0:41:10be one unless you've had an Alfa, you sold because it was too quick.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13- Yes.- Right. That's good. That means we don't have to talk about cars.
0:41:13 > 0:41:17We can talk about your films. Which, I'm afraid, I'm much more interested in.
0:41:17 > 0:41:21If you don't mind me saying, what I really love about your stuff is
0:41:21 > 0:41:24that you never really know what the next Danny Boyle film's going to be.
0:41:24 > 0:41:28I mean Trainspotting's completely different, say, to Slumdog Millionaire.
0:41:28 > 0:41:33- Which is completely different to Sunshine, which is my personal favourite.- Oh, fantastic.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36I'm touched by that because it didn't do very well.
0:41:36 > 0:41:37In fact, nobody went to see it.
0:41:37 > 0:41:41A lot of those people are here because, as I was walking round the back,
0:41:41 > 0:41:44there were loads of people looking at me thinking, "Who's he?"
0:41:44 > 0:41:47I think, I have this theory
0:41:47 > 0:41:49that your first film is always your best film.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53And you can only ever make one film, like you can only lose your virginity once,
0:41:53 > 0:41:56but you should always try and get back to that state, if you can.
0:41:56 > 0:42:00- What, losing your virginity again? - If you can. That would be perfect.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Your first feature was Shallow Grave.
0:42:02 > 0:42:07So you would say that was your best film? Would you say that was better than Trainspotting?
0:42:07 > 0:42:09My dad certainly thinks so because he's seen every single one
0:42:09 > 0:42:12of my films and he says the same thing every time.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15He says, "Well, it was good but it wasn't as good as Shallow Grave."
0:42:15 > 0:42:18And he's said that every time, including Slumdog Millionaire.
0:42:18 > 0:42:23Slumdog Millionaire, I believe he told someone he thought it was "reasonable".
0:42:23 > 0:42:29Now, then, er, the new film, 127 Hours. Tell us about that.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31It's about this guy, Aron Ralston,
0:42:31 > 0:42:35who got trapped in a canyon in 2003, in Utah, in America.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38A small rock fell on his arm and pinned him. He couldn't move.
0:42:38 > 0:42:42He was trapped, standing up, but he couldn't move for six days.
0:42:42 > 0:42:47And after six days, with a blunt penknife, he cut his right arm off
0:42:47 > 0:42:49in order to get out of there. It's an incredible story.
0:42:49 > 0:42:54It is. We've got a clip here, so you can have a look at what we're on about. Let's have a look.
0:42:54 > 0:42:56All you've got to remember...
0:42:56 > 0:42:58is that everything will be OK.
0:42:58 > 0:43:00Oh, my God! Aron!
0:43:00 > 0:43:03Aron! Oh!
0:43:09 > 0:43:11You liked him.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14I don't think we figured in his day at all.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25Kristen!
0:43:25 > 0:43:26Help!
0:43:26 > 0:43:28HE SCREAMS
0:43:30 > 0:43:32APPLAUSE
0:43:34 > 0:43:39It is, what do you do? What do you do?
0:43:39 > 0:43:42- You stay there, trapped and die. - Yes. Or, do you do it?
0:43:42 > 0:43:46And you don't do it at first because you think every option
0:43:46 > 0:43:49you hang on to that means you can keep your right arm.
0:43:49 > 0:43:53You think, people will come by. Somebody will come by eventually.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55Or I'll work out a way of rigging this rope
0:43:55 > 0:43:59that I can manage to pull the rock off and get out of there. It doesn't, of course.
0:43:59 > 0:44:04Did you consider the idea of him cutting his arm off in a sort of wide shot?
0:44:04 > 0:44:08Because I have to tell you, it is pretty gruesome.
0:44:08 > 0:44:12I mean, you do see... And the noise as well, of the bone.
0:44:12 > 0:44:14The bone breaking, yes. That's pretty tough.
0:44:14 > 0:44:16It is a magnificent film.
0:44:16 > 0:44:22Now, you've been chosen to sort of head up the Olympic opening ceremony.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25And I know you'll be delighted about that.
0:44:25 > 0:44:30We are. We had the mayor here, Boris Johnson, not that long ago and I made many suggestions to him.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33Has he put any of our suggestions to you?
0:44:33 > 0:44:37He didn't mention anything that you'd said to him.
0:44:37 > 0:44:42So, what are you going to have as the opening ceremony, if Boris Johnson hasn't gone for our ideas?
0:44:42 > 0:44:46We're going to have something very different to Beijing.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49Because Beijing was the ultimate opening ceremony.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52I thought you meant the closing ceremony, where the British had a London bus
0:44:52 > 0:44:54and David Beckham kicked a ball.
0:44:54 > 0:44:58- You were a big fan of that. - It didn't really work. - We won't be doing that, no.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01Not that, but not the 200 million Chinese people?
0:45:01 > 0:45:05No, you can't, the British won't tolerate that. You can't.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08Supposedly they rehearsed in nappies, because if they rehearse
0:45:08 > 0:45:124,000 people and they all want a toilet break, it's a nightmare.
0:45:12 > 0:45:16- Supposedly they made them rehearse in nappies.- You're joking. - That's what I heard.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18You said you were going to do something intimate.
0:45:18 > 0:45:21It will be spectacular as well.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23But it will be more intimate than you realise.
0:45:23 > 0:45:26Will it be as spectacular as something I've just thought of?
0:45:26 > 0:45:28Go on, tell us.
0:45:28 > 0:45:33OK, what I'm seeing, OK, the gates come open, the gates are on fire.
0:45:33 > 0:45:35Some Jags come in, XKRs.
0:45:35 > 0:45:37On full opposite lock, on fire.
0:45:37 > 0:45:44And the guy, instead of having a torch, on fire, what if the whole man is on fire?
0:45:44 > 0:45:49He runs along and leaps into the big saucer-y thing with the flames and that goes on fire.
0:45:49 > 0:45:51The crowd could be on fire...
0:45:51 > 0:45:55- Every single thing. Because then it could be like Top Gear.- Great, OK.
0:45:55 > 0:46:00Actually, watch this space. There is a man on fire. But he's on a bicycle.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03Which you will sort of approve of and sort of not.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05A cyclist on fire.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10Quite like the sound of that.
0:46:10 > 0:46:14Obviously, you came down here, I thought rather bravely,
0:46:14 > 0:46:18not being a car person, particularly, to go round the lap. Did you enjoy it?
0:46:18 > 0:46:19Yeah, it's spectacular.
0:46:19 > 0:46:25It probably isn't very good for you to watch but I enjoyed it so much, I can't tell you.
0:46:25 > 0:46:29Because we had one big problem, because every single guest that has ever come here,
0:46:29 > 0:46:33they are taught to drive round our track by the Splitter, as he is now called.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35Sacked Stig.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38So we had to bring a man out of retirement.
0:46:42 > 0:46:46Go to an old people's home. We actually used Tiff Needell, ladies and gentlemen.
0:46:46 > 0:46:49Tiff Needell was the man that taught you.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52What is he like now he's, what, 150?
0:46:52 > 0:46:55- He was excellent.- Was he?- Yes, he was excellent. He was very good.
0:46:55 > 0:46:59And, provided I've done it in less than 127 seconds, I'm OK.
0:46:59 > 0:47:02- That's the task I've set. - 127 seconds? That's a good target to set.
0:47:02 > 0:47:09- Who'd like to see Danny's lap? - Yeah!- Let's have a look.
0:47:10 > 0:47:14- Look at that reasonably priced brown car go.- Wheelspin.
0:47:14 > 0:47:16Better on the limiter, Danny.
0:47:16 > 0:47:21Tiff would have been proud of that. 'He said to watch the limiter.'
0:47:21 > 0:47:23- That's- BLEEP.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27There's one in there somewhere. Right, here we go.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29Taking it very wide there.
0:47:29 > 0:47:31This is obviously Tiff's line.
0:47:32 > 0:47:39- You see, that looks slow... - Get on the power. Get on the power, come on.
0:47:39 > 0:47:43No, don't get on the power. And you haven't, you see? Keep it tidy.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not very good.- BLEEP.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52You looked like Jim Bowen there, that was a worry.
0:47:53 > 0:47:58Now the hammerhead. I know it looks slow, but...
0:47:58 > 0:48:00When you're inside it, it feels so fast.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03It's unbelievable.
0:48:03 > 0:48:09- Right, come on. Full throttle.- BLEEP.
0:48:09 > 0:48:12Handle thing's come off.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15The gear lever came off?
0:48:15 > 0:48:17Well, that would slow you down a bit.
0:48:19 > 0:48:21That's a great camera there.
0:48:23 > 0:48:26That's another very wide line, but I like that way in.
0:48:26 > 0:48:28It's very good. And you stayed on.
0:48:28 > 0:48:31Now we're going round Gambon without any problem.
0:48:31 > 0:48:34And there we are, ladies and gentlemen, across the line!
0:48:34 > 0:48:35CHEERING
0:48:38 > 0:48:40Well done.
0:48:42 > 0:48:47I'm just thinking, is the next Danny Boyle film going to be the Fast And The Furious 32?
0:48:47 > 0:48:51Can we have a car film from Danny Boyle? Can we have Mad Max IV?
0:48:51 > 0:48:53I'd love to make a proper car film. Like a Mad Max film.
0:48:53 > 0:48:57- Mad Max would be brilliant. Did you see Doomsday? That was a good one. - Yeah, I did.- It had a good cast.
0:48:57 > 0:49:02Except it was shot in Spain and he hoped we'd think it was Scotland.
0:49:02 > 0:49:06No, it wasn't raining. Right, come on then, where do you think you've come? It was wet.
0:49:06 > 0:49:10So these are the wet times here. Angelina Jolie. That's not the actual Angelina Jolie.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13That was Bill Bailey pretending to be Angelina Jolie.
0:49:13 > 0:49:191:50:08. That's the fastest we've ever had in that car. Danny Boyle,
0:49:19 > 0:49:22you did it in...
0:49:22 > 0:49:281:47:08,
0:49:28 > 0:49:32which means you have done the fastest-ever wet lap!
0:49:32 > 0:49:34Oh!
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Congratulations.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40Really? That's Tiff.
0:49:40 > 0:49:41You've got to say for Tiff.
0:49:41 > 0:49:45That is Tiff, that. That's amazing. Oh, cool!
0:49:45 > 0:49:51All these years, the Stig has been coming and slowing celebrities down.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54Now we've got the pensioner out of retirement...
0:49:54 > 0:49:57Or you could have a natural talent you've only just discovered.
0:49:57 > 0:50:02And that was the first time you've ever driven in anger on a track? In a your whole life?
0:50:02 > 0:50:04- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's a remarkable achievement.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06It's such a buzz. Thank you for letting me do it.
0:50:06 > 0:50:10- It was a great day. - If there's any thank yous to be done, it's the other way.
0:50:10 > 0:50:13I've wanted to meet you for years and years. Ladies and gentlemen, Danny Boyle.
0:50:13 > 0:50:16Thank you. Cool!
0:50:16 > 0:50:19That's a good time.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21That won't be beaten for a while.
0:50:26 > 0:50:33OK. OK. It is now time for the third and final part of our trans-America drive film.
0:50:33 > 0:50:37We're on our way to New York in the Mercedes SLS. The Ferrari 458.
0:50:37 > 0:50:40And the brilliant Porsche GT3 RS.
0:50:40 > 0:50:44And we rejoin the action on a bridge near some water.
0:51:04 > 0:51:08Chaps, obviously I'm aware of this, but just for the record, where are we?
0:51:08 > 0:51:13Urr, well, we've done Maryland, I think we're in Pennsylvania.
0:51:13 > 0:51:16Righto, Pennsylvania it is. I like it.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19After a while we found ourselves in Amish country,
0:51:19 > 0:51:25which we thought would be full of people in aprons building barns and drinking lemonade.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28I love to see a horse and carriage.
0:51:28 > 0:51:29Look at that. It's fantastic.
0:51:29 > 0:51:32However, we were in for a shock.
0:51:41 > 0:51:43It does say that, doesn't it?
0:51:43 > 0:51:46- It does.- It does say that.
0:51:46 > 0:51:49That's what it says. And it is the name of the town. It's not...
0:51:49 > 0:51:52Welcome to... That.
0:51:54 > 0:51:59You don't think there was a hamlet called Foreplay down there we should have popped into first?
0:52:01 > 0:52:05We quickly left Amish country and were delighted a few hours later
0:52:05 > 0:52:09to find ourselves approaching somewhere a bit less smutty.
0:52:09 > 0:52:13Well, this is it. Noo Yoik.
0:52:20 > 0:52:25And the following morning we were told to report to Brooklyn for a challenge.
0:52:27 > 0:52:28Right.
0:52:28 > 0:52:34"You have been booked to appear at 11 o'clock this morning on an American chat show.
0:52:34 > 0:52:40"The studio is on West 59th Street near its junction with 11th Avenue.
0:52:40 > 0:52:46- "There's only time for one of you to appear, so the first to arrive gets the gig."- Can I just ask...?
0:52:46 > 0:52:50Can I see it? It doesn't say I can't use my sat-nav.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53Nor me. Or you, you...
0:52:53 > 0:52:56- I haven't got sat-nav. - Shall we do it? Have we got an hour?
0:52:56 > 0:52:57Yes.
0:52:57 > 0:53:00Chat show.
0:53:00 > 0:53:05- Three, two....go.- OK.
0:53:10 > 0:53:14Set navigation. City of Manhattan.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17Wes...
0:53:17 > 0:53:21M... A...
0:53:21 > 0:53:25How do you enter West 59 in the sat-nav?
0:53:25 > 0:53:27It's not easy, but luckily I've managed it. Goodbye.
0:53:31 > 0:53:34- Looking good, looking good. - Done it. Go.
0:53:41 > 0:53:45Up ahead, the Porsche was on Brooklyn Bridge
0:53:45 > 0:53:47zooming towards Manhattan.
0:53:50 > 0:53:54Which made Stuart Little very nervous.
0:53:54 > 0:53:58No. No. Oh, God. Look at it. It's huge.
0:54:00 > 0:54:05I'm a country boy. That's just a fact. Cities...terrify me.
0:54:05 > 0:54:09They're just big and complicated and full of people who shout at you.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15Here we go.
0:54:15 > 0:54:18The producers had given us only one rule.
0:54:18 > 0:54:20We weren't allowed to use the ring roads
0:54:20 > 0:54:22that go up Manhattan shoreline.
0:54:22 > 0:54:27But no matter. Us sat-nav boys were feeling pretty relaxed.
0:54:27 > 0:54:28Hello, America.
0:54:28 > 0:54:33Manhattan TV studio and then the world.
0:54:33 > 0:54:37Could be Good Morning America. That is a big show.
0:54:37 > 0:54:41Hammond will be desperate to get there first.
0:54:41 > 0:54:46Because ever since he was a foetus, he's been destined to appear on American television.
0:54:46 > 0:54:50With his teeth and his hair and everything.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Do I want Pearl Street?
0:54:52 > 0:54:57Park Road South? I don't know! I don't know.
0:54:59 > 0:55:03James steamed into Manhattan full of confidence.
0:55:03 > 0:55:05Park Road South, keep right.
0:55:05 > 0:55:08Keep left, yes.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10But soon he had a problem.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12I've lost the satellite signal.
0:55:12 > 0:55:14It's the buildings.
0:55:14 > 0:55:19Annoyingly, though, Manhattan suited James's love of order
0:55:19 > 0:55:24and logic because the streets are laid out in a numbered grid system.
0:55:24 > 0:55:29You can only go four ways. You can go east or west or you can go north or south.
0:55:29 > 0:55:35There's no windy stuff, and there's very little in the way of diagonal stuff. Concentrate.
0:55:37 > 0:55:44In the SLS, the sat-nav was not affected by the buildings, but it was being very German.
0:55:44 > 0:55:48Ah, you see, the sat-nav has selected the ring road.
0:55:48 > 0:55:49Look, it's trying to take me up.
0:55:49 > 0:55:52I can't do that.
0:55:52 > 0:55:56I drove deeper into the heart of the city to force the system to think again.
0:55:56 > 0:56:01Sat-nav's still trying to make me go on the ring road. I can't do that.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03- 'Prepare to turn left.'- No!
0:56:03 > 0:56:05I can't go on the ring road.
0:56:05 > 0:56:07I'm going to shut her up.
0:56:07 > 0:56:10If I just keep heading north until I get to 59th Street.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13How hard can that be?
0:56:13 > 0:56:16All of us were now relying on intelligence alone to find
0:56:16 > 0:56:19the TV studio, and if I'm honest,
0:56:19 > 0:56:22that did put Stuart Little at a bit of a disadvantage.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26No, no. I don't want to go.
0:56:26 > 0:56:30No! How do I not go in the tunnel?
0:56:30 > 0:56:33I'm not going to panic. I'm not going to panic. Not going to panic.
0:56:33 > 0:56:37I've indicated with the windscreen wipers - that's bad.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39Right. Going north.
0:56:39 > 0:56:43I'll start to count off street numbers in a minute.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46Just keep going until I get to 59.
0:56:48 > 0:56:52Captain OCD was making storming progress.
0:56:54 > 0:56:5814th Street. This is good.
0:56:59 > 0:57:01I wonder where Jezza is.
0:57:01 > 0:57:06Annoyingly, the northbound street I'd selected was a bit busy.
0:57:06 > 0:57:09Nothing I can do. I'm completely jammed in.
0:57:09 > 0:57:12Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
0:57:12 > 0:57:17A bit more panicking. Move!
0:57:21 > 0:57:2323rd Street. They're tumbling.
0:57:23 > 0:57:27I was so confident, I decided to weave round bottlenecks.
0:57:27 > 0:57:31Down there... It's easy!
0:57:33 > 0:57:35Oh, no.
0:57:35 > 0:57:38East 14th Street.
0:57:38 > 0:57:40I've got to go to 59!
0:57:40 > 0:57:43And I've now got 36 minutes to get there.
0:57:43 > 0:57:46'Still, could be worse.'
0:57:46 > 0:57:49There's Hammond! That's Hammond!
0:57:49 > 0:57:53Dear... Aaah! That doesn't...
0:57:53 > 0:57:55What am I doing wrong?
0:57:55 > 0:58:00At that moment, I was asking myself the same question.
0:58:05 > 0:58:06- BLEEP.- Done it wrong.
0:58:06 > 0:58:12I mustn't clout the rear alloy on the corner of that.
0:58:12 > 0:58:18Right now it's the back wheel over there. Good?
0:58:18 > 0:58:23Having lost valuable time, I decided to stick to the main streets.
0:58:23 > 0:58:27Avenue of the Americas. This is good.
0:58:31 > 0:58:34This is an astonishing road, the Avenue of the Americas.
0:58:37 > 0:58:39Look at that. Concrete canyon!
0:58:44 > 0:58:47I think I just saw James over there.
0:58:47 > 0:58:50Yes! Ha-ha! Look what I've found!
0:58:50 > 0:58:52Jezza.
0:58:52 > 0:58:54That's interesting.
0:58:54 > 0:59:00It was very tempting to finally see which of our cars was the fastest.
0:59:00 > 0:59:03We mustn't do this.
0:59:03 > 0:59:06And then we decided that we must.
0:59:07 > 0:59:10Going to go manual.
0:59:10 > 0:59:14This burst of acceleration could decide who goes on American television!
0:59:26 > 0:59:30Sadly, before the race was done, we hit traffic. So I braked...
0:59:30 > 0:59:34and bailed. That's that.
0:59:34 > 0:59:37Oh, he's turned off.
0:59:37 > 0:59:38Oh, very bold!
0:59:38 > 0:59:41Jeremy and I were now trying different tactics.
0:59:41 > 0:59:45He was wiggling in the back streets, and I was on the big road,
0:59:45 > 0:59:47hoping the lights would be kind.
0:59:49 > 0:59:53This race is now a race.
0:59:53 > 0:59:5747th... 48th...
0:59:57 > 0:59:5949th. Ten to go.
1:00:00 > 1:00:03It's just green, green, green.
1:00:05 > 1:00:08My plan hadn't worked and I was in a complete tangle.
1:00:08 > 1:00:11Broadway is one way.
1:00:11 > 1:00:14Oh, no!
1:00:14 > 1:00:16What's the next one?
1:00:16 > 1:00:20If I go to 7th... Oh, no, 7th is one way as well. It is.
1:00:20 > 1:00:22So I have to go left.
1:00:22 > 1:00:25Oh, spiffing!
1:00:25 > 1:00:26This is just ludicrous.
1:00:26 > 1:00:28There's only one road goes north.
1:00:28 > 1:00:30All the others go south.
1:00:30 > 1:00:32'Still, could be worse.'
1:00:35 > 1:00:37Broadway?
1:00:37 > 1:00:41Isn't that where the theatres are? Look at that! Look at that!
1:00:41 > 1:00:43I am on Broadway. Broadway!
1:00:45 > 1:00:49Hang on... Broadway's... I'm going the wrong way.
1:00:52 > 1:00:55More green lights, look at this!
1:00:55 > 1:00:5856th, 57th...
1:00:58 > 1:01:00I wonder if it's Letterman.
1:01:00 > 1:01:0358th.
1:01:03 > 1:01:05Right, this is 59th.
1:01:05 > 1:01:07Hello, America.
1:01:07 > 1:01:10This is James May in the latest Ferrari.
1:01:13 > 1:01:15Come on!
1:01:15 > 1:01:20'All I had to do was stick with 59th Street for five blocks.' Keep going.
1:01:20 > 1:01:25'But at this roundabout, 59th Street just...stopped.'
1:01:25 > 1:01:27Oh, God!
1:01:27 > 1:01:30Oh, this is where it gets difficult.
1:01:30 > 1:01:36Now I was relying on my famously brilliant sense of direction.
1:01:36 > 1:01:38I'm going that way.
1:01:38 > 1:01:40That was a hunch.
1:01:40 > 1:01:45Jeremy, meanwhile, had decided to replace navigation with raw power.
1:01:50 > 1:01:5347th...
1:01:56 > 1:01:59Come on!
1:01:59 > 1:02:01Oh, God above!
1:02:01 > 1:02:02How can Amsterdam only be one way?
1:02:02 > 1:02:05What is the point?
1:02:05 > 1:02:07Right, I'll go across... Oh, I can't go down there.
1:02:07 > 1:02:09BLEEP!
1:02:16 > 1:02:18All the lights are green.
1:02:20 > 1:02:22And 53.
1:02:23 > 1:02:2763. That's pedestrianised.
1:02:27 > 1:02:29Oh, it's all going wrong.
1:02:29 > 1:02:32Let me go down a street, for God's sake!
1:02:40 > 1:02:42Now I've got to get across.
1:02:45 > 1:02:499th. I want to go to 11th, it's near the junction with 11th.
1:02:55 > 1:02:5766th. Here we go.
1:02:57 > 1:03:01West End Avenue. Lovely work!
1:03:03 > 1:03:06Five streets to go.
1:03:09 > 1:03:1210th. Is this 11th?
1:03:13 > 1:03:15Off up here...
1:03:15 > 1:03:17Come on!
1:03:17 > 1:03:1961...
1:03:19 > 1:03:2260...
1:03:23 > 1:03:2458.
1:03:25 > 1:03:2759th. Yes.
1:03:31 > 1:03:33Oh, no! No!
1:03:33 > 1:03:36No! No, that's not possible.
1:03:36 > 1:03:39There's a Ferrari. I cannot believe it.
1:03:48 > 1:03:51- Meanwhile... - Avenue of the Americas is here!
1:03:51 > 1:03:53That's what I want.
1:03:53 > 1:03:56There you go, ha-ha!
1:03:56 > 1:04:00Going to launch my career in America!
1:04:00 > 1:04:02Stuart was quite upset when he finally arrived...
1:04:02 > 1:04:05Oh, ahhh.
1:04:08 > 1:04:10Damn!
1:04:10 > 1:04:12- Disappointed?- Gutted, actually.
1:04:12 > 1:04:15- Last. In your Beetle.- Yeah.
1:04:15 > 1:04:17Don't be disappointed.
1:04:17 > 1:04:19Is this the...?
1:04:19 > 1:04:21- James is in there.- In there?
1:04:21 > 1:04:24You think he's been talking to Letterman, don't you?
1:04:24 > 1:04:27- Yeah.- Or Good Morning America.- Yeah. - It isn't that.
1:04:28 > 1:04:32Inhale, come up. You should feel a beautiful stretch
1:04:32 > 1:04:35in your abductor muscles on the inside of your left thigh.
1:04:35 > 1:04:39Inhale, come up. Bring your arms up to shoulder height.
1:04:39 > 1:04:40Let's turn to the right side.
1:04:40 > 1:04:43Bring your legs out about three to four feet apart.
1:04:43 > 1:04:45So let's inhale.
1:04:46 > 1:04:50Now, start exhaling. Glide your hands down the back of your body.
1:04:50 > 1:04:51Bend your knees if you have to.
1:04:51 > 1:04:53JAMES COUGHS
1:04:53 > 1:04:55- Take a break.- I'm sorry.
1:04:55 > 1:04:57APPLAUSE
1:04:58 > 1:05:00So there we are.
1:05:00 > 1:05:06There we are, no question at all, the Mercedes was the best car.
1:05:06 > 1:05:10Apart from the fact it was so tail happy, it needed a new set of tyres every 500 yards!
1:05:10 > 1:05:12Look, the Ferrari was the best looking,
1:05:12 > 1:05:16it got me to the studio first, it was the fastest round the track...
1:05:16 > 1:05:18It cost twice as much as the Porsche...
1:05:18 > 1:05:20Listen, Stuart, you are out of this one, OK?
1:05:20 > 1:05:23And we are completely out of time.
1:05:23 > 1:05:28No, we really are. This programme is already 67 minutes long, yes?
1:05:28 > 1:05:32Thing is, though, James is insisting we settle our £5 bet. Here we go.
1:05:32 > 1:05:35Now we'll find out which is the quickest.
1:05:35 > 1:05:40Three, two, one...
1:05:44 > 1:05:47That is a remarkable getaway by the Fezza.
1:05:49 > 1:05:54I've got 563 horse power, he's only got 562.
1:05:54 > 1:05:57Let's see that extra horse!
1:05:57 > 1:05:59Here it comes!
1:06:04 > 1:06:08That is remarkably close! Look at it!
1:06:09 > 1:06:12Come on! Come on!
1:06:12 > 1:06:15I'm going to get him by a nose! Yes! Yes!
1:06:17 > 1:06:21- Close. Really close! - That was very close.- Hairy.
1:06:21 > 1:06:24- Want to give it to me now?- No. - Hand it over now, come on.
1:06:24 > 1:06:27Hang on, let's settle this, because it was close.
1:06:27 > 1:06:31It was in fact a photo finish. And I have the photo here.
1:06:31 > 1:06:35- Have a look at that.- Oh.- Yeah. - A-ha ha! Oh!
1:06:35 > 1:06:37No, it really was that close!
1:06:37 > 1:06:41- I'm afraid it's a draw! - Good. I keep my fiver!
1:06:41 > 1:06:46But, on that bombshell, it is now time to end.
1:06:46 > 1:06:51We shall be back on Boxing Day at eight o'clock with our annual Christmas Special,
1:06:51 > 1:06:54in which we are the three wise men and we go from the East - Iraq,
1:06:54 > 1:06:59to be precise - to the birthplace of the baby Jesus in Bethlehem.
1:06:59 > 1:07:05We hope to see you then, but in the meantime, please have a very, very happy Christmas. Goodnight!
1:07:11 > 1:07:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
1:07:14 > 1:07:17E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk