0:00:02 > 0:00:08Live from Buenos Aires, it's the obstacle course of the week.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11And tonight, it's a celebrity showdown.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Take famous faces - an award-winning actress,
0:00:13 > 0:00:16a pair of Olympic legends
0:00:16 > 0:00:20and a state-of-the-art Eurovision champion - who go head to head
0:00:20 > 0:00:24with an array of obstacles, all in the name of charity.
0:00:24 > 0:00:31So let's roll out the red carpet, pop open the champagne and let Celebrity Total Wipeout begin.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Yes, it's Celebrity Total Wipeout time once again, and you can tell
0:00:43 > 0:00:48that we're in the presence of showbiz legends because I've got my special showbiz shirt on,
0:00:48 > 0:00:52there's this, and for the first time this series,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Amanda Byram is wearing a clean pair of pants.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57But whilst Amanda and I will be giving today's competitors
0:00:57 > 0:01:01the celebrity treatment, the Total Wipeout course will not.
0:01:01 > 0:01:06That's because the laws of gravity and wetness even apply to famous people.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Here's what they're going to be up against.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12The Qualifier. A once-in-a-lifetime adventure experience.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Crash Mountain. Fun for all the family.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Under-16s not allowed.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Dizzy Dummies.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20It's a bottom-of-the-range spin-dryer.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25The Wipeout Zone, an all-expenses-paid trip
0:01:25 > 0:01:29across one of Argentina's most breathtaking landscapes. Mini-bar not included.
0:01:29 > 0:01:34Today, all of the celebrities will be attempting the Qualifier and Crash Mountain
0:01:34 > 0:01:38before the eliminations begin, which means double trouble for them.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40And double funny for us, probably.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44Today's winner will be crowned the fourth Celebrity Total Wipeout champion,
0:01:44 > 0:01:46following in the famous footsteps of
0:01:46 > 0:01:49that guy who was in Holby or something,
0:01:49 > 0:01:52that woman, what's her name,
0:01:52 > 0:01:54and Dame Judi Dench.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57They'll also earn ten grand for the charity of their choice.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Let's reveal this week's line-up.
0:02:01 > 0:02:07Oh, look! It's Eurovision-winning national treasure Cheryl Baker.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10That's Olympic legend John Regis MBE.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13That's... David Bowie? No, can't be!
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Ah! It's actor and TV presenter Jeremy Edwards.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20That's award-winning actress Margi Clarke.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24There's 2001's fastest woman across 400 metres, Katharine Merry.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29And these two come as a pair. It's DJs and presenters JK and Joel.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34Now, star of EastEnders, actress Nina Toussaint-White is next.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36And that's TV presenter Sarah Cawood.
0:02:36 > 0:02:43Finally, comedian presenter and now obstacle-course doer, it's Rowland Rivron.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49So, the course is ready, the celebrities are in place and, as their agents requested,
0:02:49 > 0:02:53the bottles of mineral water have been chilled to precisely three degrees Celsius.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56But now it's time to welcome the biggest diva of them all.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Down at the course, it's Amanda Byram.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08The first celebrity is one of Liverpool's favourite daughters.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12Star of Letter To Brezhnev and Coronation Street, it's Margi Clarke.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Do you have what it takes to get through the Total Wipeout course?
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Well, I think the best way to do it is leg it.
0:03:19 > 0:03:25Just leg it over everything, and if that doesn't work, I've got to use my secret tactic.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- What's that?- Levitation.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30She can't really levitate, can she?
0:03:30 > 0:03:33She can as well! Cool!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35I'm doing it for the girls!
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Not over the hill so much as down the slide.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Ouch!
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Yeah, neither legging it nor levitating there,
0:03:44 > 0:03:46just sort of falling over, really. But...
0:03:46 > 0:03:49She's a feisty pink-haired nugget.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51That's never been said before.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53An original description. I like it, Amanda.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Right, pink nugget Margi heads towards
0:03:56 > 0:03:58the first obstacle of the day.
0:03:58 > 0:04:04From the people who brought you Las Traplonkas!, we proudly introduce All-Star Las Traplonkas! -
0:04:04 > 0:04:06the same game but with added fame.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08It's a must-have accessory for every VIP party-goer.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11But if you're not famous, you're not allowed to play.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Being famous has never been so much fun!
0:04:14 > 0:04:18All-Star Las Traplonkas!, in celebrity toyshops near you now!
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Probably. So, will Margi be our first
0:04:21 > 0:04:24celebrity Traplonka of the day?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Here we go. Oh!
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Oh, hang on!
0:04:28 > 0:04:30No, not that time.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Come on, the pink nugget! Come on!
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Brilliant. She's done the first. Can she do the double?
0:04:36 > 0:04:37No.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Margi misses the trapeze, and the pink nugget becomes
0:04:41 > 0:04:45a sort of brown-tinged nugget. It's all gone wrong.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Margi did play a female boxer in the film Blonde Fist,
0:04:50 > 0:04:52so the Sucker Punch may well have met its match.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Looking good. And she's done it!
0:04:55 > 0:04:59- Easy!- Maybe so, Amanda,
0:04:59 > 0:05:01but look what's coming up next.
0:05:01 > 0:05:06The pink-haired lady from Liverpool approaches the Big Balls.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08She's going to show these balls what for.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10The motivator lurks above.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Margi jumps first ball,
0:05:12 > 0:05:15climbed the second ball, and then water.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18I hope that hair dye is waterproof.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21What, it really is that colour?!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Margi somehow finding the time for a leisurely paddle.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31Come on, girl, get a move on! The final obstacle is waiting for you.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Now, it's time for the Celebrity Cradles Of Doom.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36They're back, and on a mission.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Like an angry TV critic, this monster is determined
0:05:39 > 0:05:42to send celebrities plummeting to their doom.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45One little mistake crossing the pendulums is all it takes
0:05:45 > 0:05:50to send the celebrity screaming into the murky depths of Z-list land.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52That's the water, to you and me.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Let's see if Scouse legend Margi can get across with her dignity
0:05:56 > 0:05:59and her celebrity status still intact.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02She moves up. She's onto the first cradle.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Remember, the faster she completes the Qualifier,
0:06:05 > 0:06:06the more points she'll get.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Yes. Come on, Margi.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13Come on. Oh, no! No, she's doomed.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19That's all it takes in celebrity life.
0:06:19 > 0:06:24Doomed to a life of supermarket openings and Channel 5 chat shows from hereon in.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26Oh, well.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32Margi finally finishes the Qualifier in 3:56.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Well done, pink nugget. Not a bad effort after all, actually.
0:06:37 > 0:06:43I tell you what, you are one feisty little pink-haired mama. That was pretty unbelievable.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49- It's amazing. You want to have a go yourself.- No, I don't.
0:06:49 > 0:06:54Next to attempt the Qualifier, it's everyone's favourite superstar pop duo, Jedward.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59This is a great booking. Time for some real chart-topping talent.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I'm so pleased. It's not them, is it? No.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07My mistake. It's not Jedward, it's Jeremy Edwards with bad hair.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09That's disappointing.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- How are you doing, Jeremy? - I'm incredibly excited.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13I can't wait to get going.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16My main thing is to try and get over those balls.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Think of the stories you can tell when you get home, you know. Really macho.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22If I make it across those balls, I'm done.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- Go out there and do well for me. - OK, OK, thanks.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28Yes. Go on.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Look, he can actually dance!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Definitely not Jedward, then.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36That seals it.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40This course doesn't scare me!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Right, surf's up.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46And surf's down. Oh, dear.
0:07:46 > 0:07:51A valiant attempt at surfing down the slide.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Valiant, but funny for us, and that matters more.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58Amongst his irritations on this form here, Jeremy lists cockroaches
0:07:58 > 0:08:02and Richard Hammond's teenager haircut. Really?
0:08:02 > 0:08:06I'm mature enough to deal with that kind of playground taunting.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Ha! In your face, Jeremy Edwards!
0:08:12 > 0:08:16Teenager haircut coming right back at you!
0:08:16 > 0:08:20As far as celebrity Traplonkas go, I think Jeremy wears the crown. That was spectacular.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Come on, Jeremy!
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Time for heartthrob Jeremy to take on the Sucker Punch.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Don't hurt his face, his agent will kill us.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Oh, he's off! Is his face OK?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Oh, thank goodness for that. It was a shoulder blow.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39The face is intact.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Jeremy can do struggling well.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43He should put this into his show reel.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45He probably won't, will he?
0:08:47 > 0:08:48No, he won't.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51OK, this is it. Can Jeremy make it to the big time?
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Hollywood is calling, Jeremy. Don't do anything crazy now.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Oh! Oh, oh! Disappointing.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Definitely more Hollyoaks than Hollywood.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Forget the chat shows, cancel the American tour.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Just get Holby City back on the blower right now, Jeremy!
0:09:07 > 0:09:10He won't get on to an American talk show,
0:09:10 > 0:09:13but if he clears the Cradles, Jeremy might just make it
0:09:13 > 0:09:15into The One Show. And that's big news.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Oh, and he's done it! In two minutes, four seconds.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22Oh! Like a dream!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Yeah, not a bad time for someone who knows nothing about hair!
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Don't listen to him, Richard, you look great.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34You look like Zac Efron.
0:09:36 > 0:09:43So, eight more celebrities to go. And not a bruised limb, angry agent or superstar tantrum in sight. Yet.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Over the years, history has provided us with some great partnerships.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Sonny & Cher, Little and Large, Hammond and Byram.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52(I've never actually met her.)
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Here on Total Wipeout, we like to pay homage to great double acts, too.
0:09:56 > 0:10:02So we now bring you kids' TV presenters and radio DJs extraordinaire JK and Joel.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05That's JK on the left.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09And that's Joel.
0:10:09 > 0:10:14He's two years, three inches and ten kilos greater than his on-screen counterpart.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18My money's on the big one.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20I'm not going to beat around the bush here.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24- Which one of you's the fitter one?- I'd have to go for JK, definitely.- Yeah.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Fine line between confident and arrogant. You've got to work out which one it is!
0:10:28 > 0:10:33Yes, I am confident when it comes to stuff like this. I'm a little bit more energetic.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36I've been in secret training, which I don't want to talk about...
0:10:36 > 0:10:40I can't tell you. I can't tell you. No, no, no!
0:10:40 > 0:10:44- It's nothing like that, no. - Upper-body strength is really good!
0:10:44 > 0:10:45That's it, look at that muscle!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Good luck out there. May the best man win.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52- I will.- Thank you!
0:10:55 > 0:10:58OK, Joel skids off...
0:10:58 > 0:11:02..while JK kind of waddles.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Oh, great jump, though. And a really quick start.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Encourage them, please. Look at him go!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Right, JK's at the Traplonks now. And he's over.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Second one. Oh, amazing!
0:11:16 > 0:11:20JK's the first-ever celebrity Traplonka!
0:11:20 > 0:11:24He'll be proud. So how can Joel outdo JK now?
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Yes!
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Ouch!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34But he's across the first.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39We could have our first-ever pair of celebrity Traplonkas here.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40We could. This would be... Ow! Oh!
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Oh, no.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Joel bit off more than he could chew there, resulting in a bruised ego,
0:11:49 > 0:11:53and quite possibly a bruised behind to match.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Ouch. The Big Balls will surely sort the men from the boys
0:11:56 > 0:12:00and the JKs from the Joels.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Joel is up first,
0:12:02 > 0:12:04setting a benchmark for JK.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Come on, big man! A nation watches.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Come on. Come on!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15There he goes, he's off.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17The benchmark has been set at one ball.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Can JK at least match that?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Well, surely. OK, JK's attempt.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24One, two...
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Ooh, he's already beaten Joel.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Three! Could he go all the way? He's looking good.
0:12:29 > 0:12:34Oh, no, the fourth! No celebrity's ever made it across, ever.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36But JK has!
0:12:36 > 0:12:41He becomes the first famous person to defeat the Big Balls.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42No stopping to celebrate,
0:12:42 > 0:12:45this man is on a mission! So JK's traversed the Traplonks.
0:12:45 > 0:12:50He beat the Big Balls. Can he now also conquer the Cradles Of Doom?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Wow! He's done it. And in one minute, 28.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59Even by civilian standards, that is an incredible time.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Ow, belly flop there, that will hurt.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03So how will Joel do?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08No pressure(!)
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Slides onto the second cradle.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Crouches, ready to pounce.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20And he's there! Joel finishes in three minutes, 15 seconds.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Almost two minutes behind JK.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25But I'm sure he'll be unselfishly thrilled
0:13:25 > 0:13:27for his friend and colleague.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32As soon as we get back to England, he'll be telling everybody, "I got over the red balls."
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Every time we watch this, he'll be going, "Oh, I've done that. I can do that."
0:13:35 > 0:13:37So... Ah, so proud of him.
0:13:37 > 0:13:42Next up, it's star of EastEnders, actress Nina Toussaint-White.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Nina trained at the world-famous Italia Conti Academy,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49and now it's time for her to take centre stage on the Qualifier.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- What's happening now? - It's show time, Nina.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54There you go. Action!
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Nina made her professional debut on Casualty back in 2007.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Let's hope she doesn't end up back there
0:14:00 > 0:14:02in an impossibly-ironic twist.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05First Traplonk. Oh, oh!
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Oh, that was Dot Cotton - rotten.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12You see? Yeah.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Sorry.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Ouch. Sucker Punch now.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19She's on, she's moving well. She's off.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22She's just off that. Right, Big Balls time.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26And especially for Nina, they're EastEnders-themed.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Yeah, you're right to be scared, Nina.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32- PHIL MITCHELL:- Oi! Ow! Ricky!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Right in Phil Mitchell's boat race.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Great effort, but Nina ended up in the Walford canal.
0:14:38 > 0:14:44She'll love all this when she watches it afterwards. She will.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Nina, of course, no stranger to cliff-hangers,
0:14:46 > 0:14:48so let's see how she gets on with this.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52- Ah! Ah!- Tune in to the next episode of Total Wipeout to find out.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Heh heh heh!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57No, only joking.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Carry on. There she goes! Nina finishes in two minutes, 56.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Surely she'll be happy with that.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Look out for Nina on Crash Mountain, definitely.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09I'm going to wipe them boys out, hopefully.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Time now for a quick look at the first celebrity leaderboard,
0:15:13 > 0:15:16where ball-crossing JK sits proudly in the top spot.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Jeremy Jedwards is second, Nina Toussaint-White third.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21JK's other half, Joel, is fourth.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26And pink nugget Margi is down in fifth place.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31So JK becomes the first celebrity to join the exclusive club of Big Ball crossers.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35A club that's so VIP, only he's allowed in it.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37And even he's not allowed in it in those trainers.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Impressive, but not a patch on the next competitor's most famous achievement.
0:15:41 > 0:15:47Has JK ever won Eurovision and had his skirt ripped off on national TV?
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Yeah. Well, he definitely hasn't won Eurovision.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Here's a lady who's done both of these things. It's Cheryl Baker.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00I may not be young, and I may not be fast.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03I'll be trying to win, but I'll probably come last!
0:16:03 > 0:16:06I want her to win!
0:16:06 > 0:16:08And she's off.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10She's in. Come on, Cheryl.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Uh-oh.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Never mind, there's a pair of Supermen right there.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22That's handy. Yeah.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- It'll be great when she's got going. - Absolutely terrified!
0:16:25 > 0:16:29Don't worry, Cheryl, just like back in '81, the country is behind you.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32You can do this. Leave the skirt on, but you can do this.
0:16:32 > 0:16:37# And then you've got to slow it down... #
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Oh, I see, speed it up, slow it down, speed it up, slow it down.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Look!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47MUSIC SLOWS DOWN
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Oh!
0:16:49 > 0:16:50It's not working.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53That's my childhood hero, that.
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Yeah!
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Yep, United Kingdom, nul points.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Come on, Cheryl. You're a real live Record Breaker.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05You zipped down the world's longest rope slide,
0:17:05 > 0:17:07been part of the world's longest Riverdance.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10These Big Balls are surely just a walk in the park
0:17:10 > 0:17:12for a lady like you. Yeah!
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Deep breath. Yep!
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Ouch!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20MUSIC: "The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite" by REM
0:17:23 > 0:17:27I'd say that fall was maybe more back-breaking than Record Breaking.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Oh.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39A quick tortoise impression there.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- "Hello!"- I'm really scared.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44I'm really scared.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Looking so brave, so far, Cheryl.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48She's only nice to some, isn't she?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Come on, Cheryl, you can do this.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54First jump. She may be scared, but Cheryl Baker is no quitter.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Oh, no, no.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05No, that pesky gravity.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10Brave Cheryl finally finishes the course in just under ten minutes.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17And she's still standing! Just.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20I am so proud of you, do you know that?
0:18:20 > 0:18:25You literally did run out of Fizz half way through that, but you battled on, you kept on going.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- You did it!- It was the hardest thing I've done.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29I'm so glad it's over.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31There's more, isn't there?
0:18:31 > 0:18:36It's comedian and TV presenter Rowland Rivron, who's looking a little perplexed.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Maybe his agent told him he'd been booked for Strictly Come Dancing.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- That would be a shock. - How are you doing, Rowland?
0:18:42 > 0:18:46I'm very good. I'm wearing red, the international colour of danger.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50It's also the colour worn by all the characters in Star Trek who end up getting killed.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52So, good luck with that, Rowland.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56OK.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Oh, that's a cracking start.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04I've never seen the pontoons done like that before.
0:19:04 > 0:19:09It's like watching a foal learning to walk, isn't it? Kind of... No.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Rowland's T-shirt is signalling the first real sign of danger.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15He jumps.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- No, he's going in the wrong direction.- Come on...
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Yes, that's more like it.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Yes!
0:19:22 > 0:19:24The danger alert is going into overdrive now
0:19:24 > 0:19:26as Rowland approaches the Big Balls.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29I can barely watch, but contractually I'm obliged to.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33I signed the thing. There we go. Oh, comedy gold.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41And there he goes,
0:19:41 > 0:19:43more slap in the face than slapstick,
0:19:43 > 0:19:45but a brilliant effort nonetheless.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49Time now for the terrifying Cradles Of Doom.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55No fear.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58No, all clear. His T-shirt doesn't seem to agree, though.
0:19:58 > 0:20:03Can Rowland make the second cradle? Yes, he can. One last jump now.
0:20:04 > 0:20:09All to play for. He makes it, finishes in three minutes, 38.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12- I'm totally shocked!- Yes!
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Or, no!
0:20:14 > 0:20:21Rowland Rivron, you are a little dark horse, aren't you?
0:20:21 > 0:20:23I can be, for cash.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26That was the beast that is Rowland Rivron.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Now it's time for the beauty that is
0:20:28 > 0:20:32TV presenter and former ballerina Sarah Cawood.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35She's doing some ballet moves now.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39That's the half nelson, and that's an up and under.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41I don't know anything about ballet, actually.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Now, that's another one.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46I'm sacrificing my dignity for light entertainment.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Now let's watch this former ballerina bounce.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51And she's off!
0:20:51 > 0:20:55It's not a water park, Sarah, but never mind, she's in.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56At least she's enjoying herself.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58So far.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Sarah was discovered performing in Phantom Of The Opera,
0:21:03 > 0:21:06doing moves very similar to what's going on now.
0:21:06 > 0:21:07I don't want Hammond being sarky
0:21:07 > 0:21:10about the fact that I'm about to go in the mud. But I am.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Me? No, as if! No.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Oh, man alive!
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I'm saying nothing. I'm really not.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Oh, Sarah!
0:21:27 > 0:21:32- Don't provoke them.- You wouldn't like them when they're angry.
0:21:35 > 0:21:40Told you so. We did warn you. Sarah is no stranger to famous balls.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43She's a former presenter of the National Lottery draw.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46We're using set of balls number four and the machine
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Bouncealot, chosen by Eduardo from Buenos Aires.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Drawmaster, release those balls.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Oh! Oh, she's still on.
0:21:58 > 0:21:59This is impressive.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02I should point out that's ball number two,
0:22:02 > 0:22:04and it's its 23rd appearance in the show so far.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07This is looking very promising.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09She's on! That's ball number three.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13An old favourite, 47 appearances this year already.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15This is looking very good.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16Can she...?
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Oh, yes, ball four! Incredible, I can't believe this!
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Sarah Cawood might be about to defeat the balls too.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Is four going to be Sarah's lucky number?
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Yes, she has! That's two celebrities in one show clear the balls.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35Are we sure? They're definitely the celebrities, not real people?
0:22:35 > 0:22:36Someone sneaking in?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38OK. That is amazing!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Cradles Of Doom now. Can Sarah continue her winning streak?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46That is a great start.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48- It does take it out of you.- Really?!
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Onto the second now, this is looking very good.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54So close...
0:22:54 > 0:22:55Come on, finish it, finish it.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57I'm about to fall in the water.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01No, you're not. Come on. And splat, she's done it!
0:23:01 > 0:23:03- Did I just do that?- Yes, you did!
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- I think you'll find I did! - Four minutes, two seconds.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- Thank you!- No, thank you, please. - I made it over the balls!
0:23:09 > 0:23:14Not delicately and not gracefully and not with aplomb, but that's not what counts.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16What counts is making it over the balls.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20So, Sarah Cawood joins JK in the celebrity ball-beating club...
0:23:22 > 0:23:25..giving them both super-legendary status.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Just like the next two famous contenders.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32In lane one, it's Olympic bronze medallist Katharine Merry.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36And, in lane two, it's Olympic gold-winning legend
0:23:36 > 0:23:39John Regis MBE, AKA the Tank.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Who ate all the pies, eh?!
0:23:43 > 0:23:47I'm being serious here, what's going on?! Can you get us both in, yeah?!
0:23:47 > 0:23:52What do you make of John Regis' chances?
0:23:52 > 0:23:57John's older than me. His age will catch him out today, and his weight as well.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01By the time the man blows the whistle, she'll have pulled a hamstring.
0:24:01 > 0:24:06So I can take it that you're not at all intimidated by the other Olympian in the competition today?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09What's her name again?
0:24:09 > 0:24:15OK, it's time for the biggest Olympic battle since, well, the last Olympics.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16John Regis...
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Come on!
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Fighting words from Katharine Merry.
0:24:21 > 0:24:28In 2001, Katharine was the world's fastest woman across 400 metres.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31So, don't blink, else you might miss her.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Her running style is a bit more wobbly than I remember.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36I think she didn't look like this before.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39No, she's adapting.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41First Traplonk, and she's making good time.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45Second Traplonk. And... Almost. No, back she goes.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Oh, here we go and she's... Oh.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Oops. Well...
0:24:52 > 0:24:53On to the Sucker Punch.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Takes an early hit, but she's holding on.
0:25:01 > 0:25:06Heads. Heads. Tails.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Agh!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Better luck on the Big Balls, maybe.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Oh, she's down again. Come on, Katharine.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Don't show John any weakness. It is time to shine.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Here we go. First ball, second...
0:25:20 > 0:25:21No, not the third.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Look, it's really difficult, OK?
0:25:26 > 0:25:30Final obstacle, and that's a very neat landing onto the first cradle.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Oh, belly flop onto the second. There could be some high points
0:25:35 > 0:25:38available here if Katharine makes this final jump.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42And, she's done it, in two minutes, 16.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Look at that. That there is the face of a champion.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Right there, lying down. OK, let's see how John does.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51This is Sparta!
0:25:51 > 0:25:54OK, under starter's orders, and he's off. Oh.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Ooh!
0:25:57 > 0:26:02If this was Sparta, he'd have been left behind for being a bit clumsy.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05That's quite a delicate little run going on as well.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08John, time to man up for the Traplonks.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Yeah!
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Oh, he flies through the air with the greatest of ease
0:26:14 > 0:26:17and lands with... some difficulty, but he does land.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19One more Traplonk to go.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Yes, complete the pair. Here we go! Oh.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28OK, can the man mountain scale the Sucker Punch wall?
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Ooh.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33The Sucker Punch is on good form.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Sadly, you know, maybe John's... Not good.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38No time to wallow - it's on to the Big Balls.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41World champion. Olympian.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Look at that. Wow!
0:26:45 > 0:26:49And it's graceful, athletic moves like this that make me think
0:26:49 > 0:26:53the Big Balls should be in the 2012 Olympic Games.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55I'll go to a meeting somewhere and prove it.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59Right, time for that sprint finish I mentioned earlier.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04No, not quite the sprint I was looking for.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Bit of a slip, but here we go.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10Balance achieved. Smooth!
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Not so smooth.
0:27:13 > 0:27:18Lucky for John, the 200 metres isn't held on top of 40-foot foam obstacles.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21If they were, he'd have been rubbish at it.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26So John clambers to the finish line
0:27:26 > 0:27:28with a time of three minutes and six seconds.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33And the Tank that is John Regis
0:27:33 > 0:27:37was beaten by Katharine Merry by a full 50 seconds.
0:27:37 > 0:27:38How will he take the news?
0:27:38 > 0:27:41- Loser!- It's all the extra weight, son.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Well, in the next game
0:27:46 > 0:27:48- I shall come back.- Is he in it?!
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Well, I think I'm in the next game!
0:27:53 > 0:27:58Yes, you are, John. Everybody is. You obviously didn't read the welcome pack we gave you.
0:27:58 > 0:28:02As today's competitors are celebrities, they all get special treatment.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05If you want a definition of celebrity, please press the red button.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08They all go through to Crash Mountain,
0:28:08 > 0:28:13and they're all still in with a chance of trousering that ten grand prize for a charity of their choice.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Let's take a look at the leaderboard.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17JK's top of the class with ten points.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Jeremy Jedwards second with nine.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Katharine Merry's in bronze position.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Nina's fourth. John Regis is fifth.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Joel is sixth, Rowland is seventh,
0:28:26 > 0:28:29pink nugget Margi eighth, ball queen Sarah Cawood is ninth.
0:28:29 > 0:28:33And last but by no means least, it's Cheryl Baker.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42Time now for the showbiz event of the novelty-assault-course year.
0:28:42 > 0:28:49The Oscars of obstacles, the BAFTAs of bruises, the TV Quick Awards of, erm... Anyway, it's Crash Mountain.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51The aim of the game is simple.
0:28:51 > 0:28:57Celebrities must step onto the red-carpet arm and strut their way to the central podium,
0:28:57 > 0:29:02avoiding the wrath of the brutal sweeping paparazzi arms as they go.
0:29:02 > 0:29:06First across gets a maximum ten points, second over gets nine points, and so on.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09The scores are added to the points from the Qualifier.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13The five highest-scoring celebrities will progress to Dizzy Dummies.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16The losers will be immediately forgotten.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Here are the nominees -
0:29:19 > 0:29:23on podiums one and two it's ball queen Sarah Cawood...
0:29:23 > 0:29:27Well, I conquered the balls so clearly it's all about being small and bouncy.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29..and Jeremy Jedwards.
0:29:29 > 0:29:33This game doesn't scare me, it's just like a big clock, and I eat big clocks for breakfast.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36On podium three, it's dangerous Rowland Rivron.
0:29:36 > 0:29:41This game really does scare me and we might see what I had for breakfast in a minute.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46And on four and five it's Nina Toussaint White...
0:29:46 > 0:29:50I may have come fourth last time, but I'm still in it to win it. Come on!
0:29:50 > 0:29:51..and Cheryl Baker.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54I may have come last in the Qualifier, but guess what?
0:29:54 > 0:29:56This time I'm coming second...
0:29:56 > 0:29:57to last.
0:29:57 > 0:30:01On podium six, it's pink nugget, Margi Clarke.
0:30:01 > 0:30:06I survived the sucker punch, so bring it on, kidders!
0:30:06 > 0:30:09On seven and eight, it's ball king JK...
0:30:09 > 0:30:12After the last round, Joel's got a brand new motto.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14It's ready, steady, splash.
0:30:14 > 0:30:15And John Regis.
0:30:15 > 0:30:21In the last game I was a gentleman and let Katharine just beat me, but not in this game!
0:30:21 > 0:30:23On podium nine it's Joel.
0:30:23 > 0:30:30There is only one winner in this JK and Joel team, and you're looking at him - over there.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33And on ten it's Katharine Merry.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36I destroyed Johnny "I'm not fit and fat" Regis
0:30:36 > 0:30:40in the last game by nearly one minute.
0:30:40 > 0:30:44For your entertainment and mine I'm going to do it again.
0:30:44 > 0:30:49So, without further ado, let's rejoin Amanda Byram and get this show on the road.
0:30:49 > 0:30:53Break a leg, everyone. Well, not everyone, we've got a show to do.
0:30:53 > 0:31:00It's tough at the top, as these celebrities know, but not as tough as the top of Crash Mountain.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02Are you ready?
0:31:02 > 0:31:05That was one yes, that means...yes?
0:31:05 > 0:31:07Three, two, one!
0:31:07 > 0:31:09HORN SOUNDS
0:31:09 > 0:31:11And they're off.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14Jeremy makes an early break for it.
0:31:14 > 0:31:19And almost breaks his nose on the base of Crash Mountain. Ouch!
0:31:20 > 0:31:23JK, now, having a go.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25Ducking...
0:31:25 > 0:31:29and standing up at precisely the wrong moment.
0:31:29 > 0:31:35JK tried to hurdle the sweeper arm, something no one has ever managed to successfully do, ever.
0:31:35 > 0:31:39Nina sees her chance. Then sees the water, really close up.
0:31:39 > 0:31:45It's JK's mate, Joel, now, who had a little too much spring in his step.
0:31:45 > 0:31:49He may have failed but at least he's taken it on the chin.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53Jeremy goes again, and falls off again.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56No one's got even close to that centre.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58I spoke too soon, JK was very close.
0:31:58 > 0:32:02Sarah Cawood, poised for action.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06Supportive, comforting and caring laughter from Amanda Byram.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09She was shrieking, actually shrieking.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Katharine Merry, and she's off.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16Rowland Rivron gives it a go. He's on.
0:32:16 > 0:32:21He's up on his feet, and he's bottled it.
0:32:21 > 0:32:22Didn't expect that.
0:32:26 > 0:32:27Jeremy, mark three.
0:32:27 > 0:32:31And another close look at the base of Crash Mountain.
0:32:31 > 0:32:36If only that arm weren't rotating, Crash Mountain would be much easier.
0:32:36 > 0:32:40JK's on the run again and makes it. Just a straight sprint.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42That is how to do Crash Mountain.
0:32:42 > 0:32:46JK was fastest in the qualifier and now first on the mountain.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49That's another ten points and a guaranteed spot in the next round.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51Who's going to join him?
0:32:51 > 0:32:52The pressure's on now, Joel.
0:32:52 > 0:32:56Joel thinking about it, he doesn't want to be left out.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58Instead he's wiped out.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03That's touching, Joel gives the arm a big hug.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05A slightly soggy big hug.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08Katharine Merry's seen an opening, and...
0:33:08 > 0:33:09Oh! So close.
0:33:09 > 0:33:15EastEnders star Nina having another go. She's ducking...
0:33:15 > 0:33:18She's screaming...
0:33:18 > 0:33:19and she's falling off.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23She just froze there, completely forgot to move
0:33:23 > 0:33:27forwards and instead got brushed aside by the sweeper arm.
0:33:27 > 0:33:33So, JK's still the only celebrity to conquer Crash Mountain so far.
0:33:33 > 0:33:37John Regis now, having a go. Tidal wave!
0:33:37 > 0:33:41This is Nina, now. Staying low...
0:33:43 > 0:33:47She's up, and oh no, the sweeper arm's got her again.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52It's like someone designed this thing to be difficult.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Still, lots of points up for grabs here. Plus JK's getting lonely in the middle.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57Is Cheryl still with us?
0:33:57 > 0:34:00Yes, she is.
0:34:00 > 0:34:04Katharine Merry makes her merry way all the way to the centre.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08Katharine gets nine points and a big hug from JK.
0:34:08 > 0:34:13Margi Clarke comes out of nowhere, ducks... She needs those points.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19She doesn't need that, though.
0:34:19 > 0:34:22Sarah Cawood now.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24Double rollover!
0:34:24 > 0:34:27OK, Joel again. I'd recognise those shorts anywhere.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30Eight points up for grabs here, can he claim them?
0:34:30 > 0:34:34He's up, he's moving, and he's done it.
0:34:34 > 0:34:38And gets a cheeky little smack from Katharine too.
0:34:38 > 0:34:41Maybe she was winding him.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44Jeremy on, he's running, and he makes it.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47Brilliant effort, seven points in the bag for Jeremy.
0:34:47 > 0:34:51And John Regis is there for six points too.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55So, the remaining five are...
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Cheryl...
0:34:57 > 0:35:00Nina, Margi, Rowland and Sarah.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03Who'll be next to make it across, if anyone?
0:35:03 > 0:35:05Nina's going for it, she's up,
0:35:05 > 0:35:07she's wobbling, and she's done it.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09Yes!
0:35:09 > 0:35:14And that is the noise of someone much better than me at maths declaring the game is over.
0:35:14 > 0:35:19It's now mathematically impossible for the others to qualify for Dizzy Dummies, apparently.
0:35:19 > 0:35:21Let's take a look at that final leaderboard.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24JK is king of the course with a perfect 20 points.
0:35:24 > 0:35:28In second place it's Katharine Merry. Jeremy Jedwards is third.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30Joel's down but not out in fourth.
0:35:30 > 0:35:34And Nina's nifty dash over the Qualifier bags her that final fifth place.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37So that means it's goodbye to John Regis who's now sixth.
0:35:37 > 0:35:42Leaving the competition with him are Rowland Rivron, Margi Clarke, Sarah Cawood and Cheryl Baker.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Well, that was what well scary. My inners were on my outers.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52My outers were on my inners.
0:35:52 > 0:35:56I think I've proved to women of my own age that we've still got
0:35:56 > 0:35:59the life force coursing through our veins.
0:35:59 > 0:36:01It's much harder than it looks.
0:36:01 > 0:36:06I didn't even get knocked off by one of the moving arms, that's how rubbish I was.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09Entertaining for you lot, though, I guess, right?
0:36:12 > 0:36:15It was going too fast. I'm too old for this, it's a young man's game.
0:36:15 > 0:36:19It is a white knuckle sport, this total dishwash.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22I've been training so hard for this moment,
0:36:22 > 0:36:27and to take home one point from Total Wipeout, it's fantastic!
0:36:27 > 0:36:31The wind was blowing me a bit to the right, and
0:36:31 > 0:36:34every time I attempted to go forward I didn't really cater for the wind.
0:36:36 > 0:36:41But don't worry, I will be back.
0:36:43 > 0:36:48Well, John, it's funny you should say that because Jeremy Edwards has picked up an injury
0:36:48 > 0:36:50and has been advised to withdraw from the competition.
0:36:50 > 0:36:55That means, having just said goodbye to John Regis, I now have to say hello, John Regis.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57Hello, John Regis. There you go.
0:36:57 > 0:37:02So, for JK, Joel, Katharine, Nina, and the newly reinstated John Regis,
0:37:02 > 0:37:05it's time to head for the dizzy heights of the Dizzy Dummies.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Celebrities are busy people so I'll make this explanation quick.
0:37:13 > 0:37:19Spin, spin, spin, spin, revolving goal posts, blob, bouncy, slip, finished. Last one's eliminated.
0:37:19 > 0:37:25Then it's spin, spin, spin, revolving goalpost, crazy beams - whoa! - and finish.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Last one's eliminated again.
0:37:27 > 0:37:31Three left, Wipeout Zone, one winner, dinner, home, bed. Got it?
0:37:31 > 0:37:35Celebrity demands? You're about to hear one. Stop!
0:37:35 > 0:37:37It's time for Dizzy Dummies.
0:37:37 > 0:37:40- Are you all ready?- Yes!
0:37:40 > 0:37:44Let's spin them anyway. Three, two, one!
0:37:47 > 0:37:50As the spinning begins, time for a reminder of who's strapped into
0:37:50 > 0:37:53the poorly constructed wheel of misfortune.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56There is ball-beating mountain slayer, JK.
0:37:56 > 0:37:58Ready, steady, splash.
0:38:00 > 0:38:01Then there's him.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04There's one winner, and that winner is me.
0:38:04 > 0:38:10The one out of JK and Joel who isn't JK, it's Joel. Then there's him.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12I think I'm in the next game.
0:38:12 > 0:38:16Olympic legend and Jeremy replacement, John Regis.
0:38:16 > 0:38:21She's got a quick wit and quick legs.
0:38:21 > 0:38:22Who ate all the pies, eh?
0:38:22 > 0:38:24It's Katharine Merry.
0:38:24 > 0:38:27Then there's her.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30The quiet one, Nina Toussaint White.
0:38:33 > 0:38:38And now the spinning stops, at least for us.
0:38:40 > 0:38:44Athletics legend Katharine is off, and with a running style all of her own.
0:38:44 > 0:38:47Meanwhile, Olympian John is trying to get his bearings.
0:38:47 > 0:38:51Katharine's at the goal post and she's through it, I think.
0:38:51 > 0:38:55Joel stepping up, Joel's turn now.
0:38:55 > 0:38:59Katharine's scorching ahead, she's already on to the blob.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01And now she's already off the blob.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07"Oh no, you first." "No, no, no, you first!"
0:39:07 > 0:39:11So rarely see manners on the Wipeout course, but much appreciated.
0:39:11 > 0:39:13Superstar DJ Joel takes the lead.
0:39:16 > 0:39:17Oh yeah.
0:39:17 > 0:39:21One more jump from Joel and he is through to the next round of Dizzy Dummies.
0:39:21 > 0:39:25Er, I said jump, Joel, not make a bridge for JK.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27This is noble sacrifice!
0:39:27 > 0:39:32JK leapfrogs his DJ partner Joel, but now he's struggling as well.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34This is just a mess!
0:39:34 > 0:39:36THEY SHOUT
0:39:36 > 0:39:39They're both in now. That means it's a swim all the way back to the start.
0:39:39 > 0:39:46John making slow and steady progress now, but can he pull himself up onto that inflatable?
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Use them gunboats, John.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51One of her legs will probably come in handy, too.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55And John's across!
0:39:55 > 0:39:59Back from the losers' bench, he's now the first one through to Dizzy Dummies round two.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02EastEnders actress Nina could be next.
0:40:07 > 0:40:08She is enjoying it really.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11JK and Joel aren't really helping, though.
0:40:11 > 0:40:15Here she goes! Oh, no, that was mean.
0:40:15 > 0:40:21JK and Joel did a blob wobbling job on her there, resulting in an unwanted swim.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26Blob wobbler JK approaching the finish now.
0:40:26 > 0:40:31Almost there. And...he's across!
0:40:31 > 0:40:34But what happened behind him?
0:40:34 > 0:40:39Two celebs off the blob at once, it was a double dunking.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42OK, Katharine's turn now.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44Steadies herself.
0:40:44 > 0:40:47Almost there.
0:40:47 > 0:40:49And she's done it!
0:40:49 > 0:40:52That means either Joel or Nina are about to be eliminated.
0:40:52 > 0:40:54It's DJ versus actress.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57- Oh no. - NINA SCREAMS
0:40:57 > 0:40:59Joel's at it again.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01More blob wobbling and Nina's off again.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03Underhand tactics from Joel there.
0:41:03 > 0:41:07Yeah, you might look innocent, fella, we saw it.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12And now Joel's off too.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14Serves him right, children.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16OK, Nina, focus,
0:41:16 > 0:41:20you can do this. Come on.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23Yes...yes.
0:41:23 > 0:41:27Ooh, danger lurking behind her.
0:41:30 > 0:41:32Just that crucial dismount now.
0:41:32 > 0:41:35Concentrate, Joel is approaching.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37Yes!
0:41:37 > 0:41:38No...no.
0:41:38 > 0:41:43Yes, come on, Nina, Joel looks defeated as Nina steadies herself
0:41:43 > 0:41:45for a final jump. Can she? Yes, she's there.
0:41:47 > 0:41:51And meany man blob wobbler Joel is absorbed by the blob.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55Talk to me. There's a few people that are going to have a few words to say to you
0:41:55 > 0:42:01because you had this technique of trying to bounce everybody off that big balloon.
0:42:01 > 0:42:04Obviously, as you can see, cheating does not work.
0:42:04 > 0:42:06OK, it does not pay, don't do it.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11OK, round two. Still in the game are two Olympians.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13What does that say about them?
0:42:13 > 0:42:18Well, they're fit and athletic and basically gluttons for punishment.
0:42:18 > 0:42:24Alongside Katharine and John are EastEnders actress Nina and DJ/TV presenter, JK.
0:42:24 > 0:42:29The machine comes to a standstill, but our celebrity heads don't.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32Katharine is first out again, with her special walk.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36Meanwhile, JK is doing his dog impression there.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38Katharine, struggling on the spinner.
0:42:38 > 0:42:42Making circles of her own. Katharine-merry-go-round, anyone?
0:42:42 > 0:42:46She might have Olympic bronze for running but right there it's TV gold...for her.
0:42:46 > 0:42:50No dignity, just gone.
0:42:50 > 0:42:52JK scampers his way up.
0:42:52 > 0:42:55Meanwhile, Katharine and Nina are having a bit of a pile-up.
0:42:55 > 0:43:01JK scores an own goal, and Katharine still working out which way is up.
0:43:01 > 0:43:02Oh, Katharine.
0:43:04 > 0:43:06So JK starts with a casual approach,
0:43:06 > 0:43:09and with no-one behind him leaps onto the first beam.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13Gently does it. This crawling lark seems to be
0:43:13 > 0:43:18working for JK, but the next couple of jumps are going to be difficult.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20Here come John and Katharine.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23John makes it onto the first beam.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27Oh, Katharine hasn't.
0:43:27 > 0:43:31JK is almost home and dry now, this is a great run.
0:43:31 > 0:43:32Oh, yes!
0:43:32 > 0:43:35And JK is safe.
0:43:35 > 0:43:38JK leaps into the Wipeout Zone final.
0:43:38 > 0:43:41Going solo seems to be working out well for him.
0:43:41 > 0:43:43But don't tell Joel, obviously.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46John's taking it slow, he needs to get a wriggle on now.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49Katharine readies herself, aims, fires, and she's on.
0:43:49 > 0:43:54There'll be no third chances today, John, hurry up.
0:43:54 > 0:43:58Come on, fast forward this baby, and let's get you in the Wipeout Zone, Regis.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Yeah, you tell him, Amanda.
0:44:00 > 0:44:04That's never been said anywhere else. Oh, no, Nina's off again!
0:44:04 > 0:44:07Must be very tiring now.
0:44:07 > 0:44:10John finally goes for it. Oh, no.
0:44:11 > 0:44:13Oh.
0:44:14 > 0:44:18John Regis gets a dunking and that means he has to go back to the start.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21So will Katharine now be second across and take the silver?
0:44:21 > 0:44:23Oh, Nina!
0:44:23 > 0:44:25Carefully does it now.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28That's it, Katharine. That's it.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34Oh, yes, we have a Katharine Merry in the final.
0:44:34 > 0:44:39Just one place left now. Will it be John or Nina's?
0:44:39 > 0:44:41- I can't get up!- Yes, you can.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44John, inches from victory now.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47Come on, Nina. Oh, no, she's off again.
0:44:47 > 0:44:52John's so close, and now he's made it into the final. What a comeback!
0:44:55 > 0:44:57And spare a thought for poor Nina.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01Did you give up a bit? That's not the name of the game.
0:45:01 > 0:45:02I couldn't get across, could I?
0:45:02 > 0:45:05Raring to go for the Wipeout Zone that you're not in?
0:45:05 > 0:45:07I'm good at cheering, yes.
0:45:07 > 0:45:10Go and get dried off. We'll see you later. Well done, babes.
0:45:10 > 0:45:14So, Nina and Joel will be flying home losers.
0:45:14 > 0:45:17Just imagine how bad they must feel as they sip champagne
0:45:17 > 0:45:20in the first-class cabin on their plane home.
0:45:20 > 0:45:22It's not easy being a celebrity.
0:45:22 > 0:45:24It's not easy booking a celebrity either.
0:45:24 > 0:45:28With those two out of the picture, it leaves TV presenter JK up against
0:45:28 > 0:45:34two of the UK's greatest athletes - John Regis and Katharine Merry.
0:45:34 > 0:45:35So good luck with that, JK!
0:45:38 > 0:45:43Total Wipeout is not athlete-friendly or contestant-friendly.
0:45:43 > 0:45:49It's by far one of the hardest things I've ever put myself through.
0:45:50 > 0:45:56This is for real, hard, physical, mental, training individuals.
0:45:56 > 0:46:02To be in with two Olympic athletes is cool and I'm up there with them.
0:46:02 > 0:46:06I'm European Champion, I'm World Champion, I'm Commonwealth Champion...
0:46:06 > 0:46:12I shall be gold medallist at the Total Wipeout Celebrity Challenge.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14I guarantee you that!
0:46:14 > 0:46:16The only goal I've had
0:46:16 > 0:46:21is to take the Olympic bronze medal I've won and turn it into Total Wipeout gold.
0:46:21 > 0:46:23It's going to happen.
0:46:23 > 0:46:29Being the first celebrity to make those four big balls has been brilliant. I'm happy with that, yes.
0:46:29 > 0:46:31JK is the silent assassin.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33He would love to win it, as would I, as would John.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35John has fluked his way here.
0:46:35 > 0:46:39If it wasn't for Jeremy, then John wouldn't be here.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42I'm Lazarus! I'm the Phoenix! I'm back!
0:46:42 > 0:46:45Back to win! That's the only reason why I'm here!
0:46:45 > 0:46:49W-I-N! Win!
0:46:49 > 0:46:53I'd like to beat the boys as much as I'd like to win the lottery every Saturday for the next ten years.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57I want to win so much and I do fancy my chances, yes.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00Two Olympians, first and second.
0:47:00 > 0:47:02With some DJ fella third.
0:47:04 > 0:47:10So, two record-breakers versus one little fellow who plays records.
0:47:10 > 0:47:13Not exactly a level playing field but then the Wipeout Zone itself
0:47:13 > 0:47:19isn't a level playing field either, because of all the slopes and slides and things, it wouldn't work.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21Anyway, here's what's in store.
0:47:26 > 0:47:32Today's three finalists will have their work cut out as they battle against this watery beast.
0:47:32 > 0:47:38It's the usual sliding, splashing, climbing, falling...
0:47:38 > 0:47:42sploshing, balancing, dashing, swinging,
0:47:42 > 0:47:45jumping and button pushing.
0:47:45 > 0:47:47With a little bit of showbiz sparkle!
0:47:49 > 0:47:52Fastest celebrity wins.
0:47:52 > 0:47:58John Regis, Katharine Merry and JK from JK and Joel must now be really feeling the pressure.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01Well, maybe not John and Katharine so much.
0:48:01 > 0:48:05I imagine they're used to this kind of pressure, having competed in
0:48:05 > 0:48:08any number of Olympic and world class athletic events. Poor JK!
0:48:08 > 0:48:10Anyway, time for today's final act!
0:48:10 > 0:48:15And it's time to sort out the Olympic champions from...well, JK.
0:48:15 > 0:48:19This is the stuff that sporting dreams are made of.
0:48:19 > 0:48:21Two Olympians and a disc jockey.
0:48:21 > 0:48:25It's the Wipeout Zone and the first to run tonight is John.
0:48:27 > 0:48:33John Regis has won gold before but tonight he's bidding for tin, the Wipeout trophy.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35He's off.
0:48:37 > 0:48:38Oh!
0:48:38 > 0:48:40And now he's properly off.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43Oh dear.
0:48:43 > 0:48:47Disaster strikes early for John but it looks like he's OK
0:48:47 > 0:48:50as he heads towards the rapid climb.
0:48:50 > 0:48:53Just a brief swim.
0:48:53 > 0:48:57Once John's pulled himself up on to the slope, he has ten seconds
0:48:57 > 0:49:00before a tidal wave comes crashing down.
0:49:02 > 0:49:06He's on and those ten seconds start now.
0:49:06 > 0:49:07He needs to be fast now.
0:49:07 > 0:49:09Come on. Oh no, John slipped.
0:49:09 > 0:49:11Quick, get up there! Come on, John!
0:49:11 > 0:49:13Sprint! Use that strength!
0:49:13 > 0:49:15Quick, time's running out.
0:49:15 > 0:49:16Too late. Here comes the wave.
0:49:16 > 0:49:18He's in the worst place for it!
0:49:18 > 0:49:21John grabs hold of the rail and he's still on.
0:49:21 > 0:49:23Balance beam now.
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Deftness more important than power here.
0:49:25 > 0:49:27And it looks like John's got both.
0:49:30 > 0:49:34- Come on, John! - It's crazy sweeper time.
0:49:34 > 0:49:38John was the 200 metres king but that was running in a straight line.
0:49:38 > 0:49:44Not in a wobbling one, with a giant sweeping arm in hot pursuit.
0:49:44 > 0:49:48Oh, second duck. Unusual technique but John's still looking good.
0:49:48 > 0:49:52He's up and sprints for it now ... Oh, but he's paused again!
0:49:52 > 0:49:56It seems like John being, if anything, a bit too cautious here.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58John's doing a great job at staying out of the water.
0:49:58 > 0:50:02This is slowing down his run considerably. Come on, John!
0:50:02 > 0:50:03Get up and run.
0:50:05 > 0:50:09Final splint, and John's across! Oh, close.
0:50:09 > 0:50:15Time to find out how good John's Tarzan impression is with the swing.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17Yeah. Not great.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19No. Best stick to sprinting.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21Yeah.
0:50:21 > 0:50:25John's grip on the rope just evaporated, resulting in his first real error of the night.
0:50:25 > 0:50:29But this is still a quick run from John,
0:50:29 > 0:50:32up on to the turntable now for his final jump.
0:50:33 > 0:50:38Makes it. John crosses the finish line in 2:37.
0:50:38 > 0:50:43A bumpy start for John, slowed by the tidal wave and a lot of ducking on the Crazy Sweeper,
0:50:43 > 0:50:48but he's set a good benchmark, and he's certainly in with a shout at winning that tin trophy.
0:50:52 > 0:50:56Come on out, you speedy sprint legend, you.
0:50:56 > 0:50:58That was absolutely brilliant.
0:50:58 > 0:51:00- How are you feeling? - That was a lot of fun.
0:51:00 > 0:51:03I'm just gutted I couldn't hold on to the rope. Absolutely gutted.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06Those big muscles of yours, what happened?
0:51:06 > 0:51:08I need more bench. Need more bench press.
0:51:08 > 0:51:12- Yours is the time to beat. You know who's up next.- Oh, yes.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15My fellow Olympian, Katharine Merry.
0:51:15 > 0:51:18- Let's see how she does.- Thank you.
0:51:18 > 0:51:20One Olympian down, one to go.
0:51:20 > 0:51:23Katharine Merry prepares to take on the Wipeout Zone.
0:51:23 > 0:51:27On your marks, get set, go.
0:51:30 > 0:51:33Well, she stayed on the ring, which is more than John managed.
0:51:33 > 0:51:38Now she's in the water. Katharine begins her swim towards the rapid climb...
0:51:40 > 0:51:43And it drags herself up on to the slide.
0:51:43 > 0:51:47The ten-second countdown starts soon, so come on, Katharine.
0:51:47 > 0:51:48Come on, Katharine, go, go!
0:51:51 > 0:51:53Oh, no, she's slipping!
0:51:53 > 0:51:57And she's down, and back to square one.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59Come on, Katharine, hold on to the side!
0:51:59 > 0:52:01And what's worse, here comes the tidal wave.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05This is going to get messy.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Katharine just swept away.
0:52:07 > 0:52:08She didn't stand a chance.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11Look how far away she is.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14Katharine, looking tired, she hasn't even passed the first obstacle.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17- I'm not moving! - Come on, swim for it.
0:52:21 > 0:52:25She's up again. No tidal wave this time, so it should be easier.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27Katharine does look exhausted already.
0:52:29 > 0:52:34Onto the balance beam. Katharine's challenge is all but over,
0:52:34 > 0:52:37but she won't know that, so she has to keep edging along that beam.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40She's cleared it. OK, on to that Crazy Sweeper,
0:52:40 > 0:52:44and like a true Olympian, she's not letting that setback get to her.
0:52:44 > 0:52:48Waiting for the optimum moment to start the dash. Good duck.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56Katharine staying low, working well so far, but she'll have to
0:52:56 > 0:53:00adapt this technique is she's going to traverse the podiums.
0:53:00 > 0:53:02Copying John's ducking technique here.
0:53:02 > 0:53:07Katharine's assault begins now, skipping over them nicely.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12She's off, but she's holding on. Come on!
0:53:12 > 0:53:15- Katharine, stay down, stay down! - Advice from John.
0:53:15 > 0:53:17No. No.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19Katharine's still standing, though.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23- And she's beaten the Crazy Sweeper. - Yes!
0:53:23 > 0:53:27OK, the Tarzan swing now.
0:53:27 > 0:53:30It's a big launch, Katharine's looking good.
0:53:32 > 0:53:35Yes! No! Disaster.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38Are you serious?
0:53:41 > 0:53:42Exhausted now,
0:53:42 > 0:53:45and Katharine Merry finally completes the Wipeout Zone
0:53:45 > 0:53:51in 5:48, which means John remains in pole position.
0:53:51 > 0:53:56Things went from bad to worse for Katharine, but a run of Olympian bravery nonetheless.
0:53:56 > 0:54:02Katharine doesn't know how well John did, so it's time for Amanda to break the news.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05How are you doing? That wasn't an easy ride for you, was it?
0:54:05 > 0:54:08Are you saying I was slow? It's a very scary course, but I enjoyed it immensely.
0:54:08 > 0:54:10I'm so pleased with myself.
0:54:10 > 0:54:16Katharine, I know you said that you were coming out of retirement for one night only, and I'm afraid it's one
0:54:16 > 0:54:20night only, because you weren't quick enough. John was quicker.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23Well played, Katharine. Well played.
0:54:23 > 0:54:25- Good job.- Wicked. Cheers, John.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28You know what this means. Yours is the time to beat.
0:54:28 > 0:54:31You're an Olympian and he's a disc jockey.
0:54:31 > 0:54:32Yeah, I know, he shouldn't win.
0:54:32 > 0:54:35- He shouldn't win, ladies and gentlemen.- Let's have a look.
0:54:35 > 0:54:38Well, he definitely shouldn't win on paper.
0:54:38 > 0:54:41Or on an obstacle course. Here's JK.
0:54:42 > 0:54:44There goes the klaxon, he's away.
0:54:46 > 0:54:50Well, it is a great start. JK avoids doing the John and stays on the ring.
0:54:50 > 0:54:53He was the fastest in the qualifier and first on to Crash Mountain.
0:54:53 > 0:54:55How will he do here?
0:54:55 > 0:54:57Rapid climb first.
0:54:59 > 0:55:02Makes it to the base.
0:55:02 > 0:55:03He's going to climb on.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06Where's he gone? He's struggling.
0:55:06 > 0:55:08Oh. Oh, dear.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10Not looking good.
0:55:16 > 0:55:20Three, two, one. Tidal wave!
0:55:20 > 0:55:24JK clings on like his life depends on it. Come on, JK.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26Ooh. He's still on.
0:55:26 > 0:55:30- He held on, look at that!- That took some real staying power from JK.
0:55:30 > 0:55:33Now he's up the slope without a care. JK onto the balance beam.
0:55:33 > 0:55:37Like John, using the wall to prop himself up.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39This is very close.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45He's across. Crazy Sweeper now.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47John was cautious here.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51JK will need to be a bit bolder if he's going to beat John's benchmark.
0:55:51 > 0:55:54Will he choose to run for it or duck?
0:55:54 > 0:55:57Ooh. He's running, he's running.
0:55:59 > 0:56:03A duck to allow the sweeping arm to pass over him, then he's off again.
0:56:03 > 0:56:08JK now skips over the podiums very quickly, and he's there.
0:56:08 > 0:56:09This is close now.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13If he gets on this, it's game over.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15John fell on the Tarzan swing. Here goes JK.
0:56:18 > 0:56:19And oh, no, he's missed!
0:56:19 > 0:56:23John still in with a chance here, then.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27This is up to the wire, I can't watch! I can't watch!
0:56:27 > 0:56:32There's only a few seconds in this now. If JK avoids errors here, the title is his.
0:56:32 > 0:56:362:17, JK has won today's Celebrity Total Wipeout.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41Well, JK made a couple of errors, but he survived a tidal wave,
0:56:41 > 0:56:45smashed the Crazy Sweeper, and somehow defeated two Olympians.
0:56:45 > 0:56:49He doesn't know it yet, so it's down to Amanda to make his day.
0:56:51 > 0:56:53How are you feeling?
0:56:53 > 0:56:58A little bit tired. I think I got the full force of the Wipeout wave.
0:56:58 > 0:57:01Listen, it's going to come as no surprise that John was absolutely
0:57:01 > 0:57:06brilliant tonight and this is one of Britain's finest ever athletes...
0:57:06 > 0:57:08that you have beaten tonight.
0:57:08 > 0:57:12You are the Total Wipeout champion!
0:57:12 > 0:57:16- Yes! Yeah! Woo-hoo! - What a shocker! >
0:57:16 > 0:57:20I beat an Olympic athlete! Yes, I did!
0:57:20 > 0:57:21- You want it? No!- No!
0:57:26 > 0:57:32So, presenter and DJ JK, aka Jason King, wins the Total Wipeout Trophy
0:57:32 > 0:57:36and £10,000 for his chosen charity, Cash For Kids.
0:57:36 > 0:57:40He also wins the right to show off about the time he beat two Olympians.
0:57:40 > 0:57:43I suspect he'll spend more time bragging about how he beat Joel.
0:57:43 > 0:57:48Mostly to Joel. That's it for today's Celebrity Total Wipeout.
0:57:48 > 0:57:51I have to finish this showbiz special with a bang.
0:57:52 > 0:57:54Not working. Never mind.
0:57:54 > 0:57:58From Amanda and me, it's goodbye.
0:58:02 > 0:58:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:05 > 0:58:08E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk